>*strikes you smartly on the cheek with a velvet glove*
>"Sir, you have besmirched my honor as a gentleman of good standing! I challenge you to a duel!"
As custom dictates, you as the challenged may select the weapons of choice for the duel. What do you select?
My dick
So you guys are just going to frot it out?
As god intended
Standard homosex etiquette is that the man with the smaller dick is the bottom.
>he doesn't know about power bottoms or futa twinks
NGMI, NGL
^this guy's dick
Reddit
Duel turns to kinky romance
Davy Crockett, from 5 paces away
>velvet glove
POOFTER
FG-42
A four door sedan.
https://www.thevintagenews.com/2022/08/12/broderick-car-accident/amp/
whoever can eat the most cheeseburge WINS...
How big? Are we talking Mickey D’s or 5 guys? Doesn’t matter I am going to win
Oh, you think cheeseburger is your ally. But you merely adopted it; I was born in it, molded by it. I didn't see real food until I was already a man
COW PIES AT SEVEN PACES
OR A SABER DUAL ON A two foot by 8 foot plank.
My homies. Saber dueling is truly the manliest form of fencing.
>Uses steel gauntlent to backhand the prissy bastard
I choose an active Davy Crockett.
reap the whirlwind, motherfricker.
Typically low-power 1-shot pistols with capacity to wound but not kill would be the choice. But what fun is that.
Beat me to it.
Big brain solutions here.
As an English gentleman of equal standing, I chose the only appropriate weapon to settle our quarrel, a sabre.
>not a quarterstaff
My God man you're practically French
This anon very nearly got it
you guys should watch The Duelists, realistic sword fights/duels and a cool historical backdrop.
I've watched it some months ago, it's great.
Polish mace because prissy ass class boi here probably knows how to use a fancy ass sword well, so let's play beating stick time.
No pretty scars or noblehomosexualry, just chunks of decently balanced metal breaking people.
Pic rel, at 800m. Odds are he won't know how to operate it and even if he does, I'll still likely win.
Hmmm that mountain looks familiar
Give it a chance.
Only love is with us now
Something warm and puuure
Find the strength within ourselves
No need for a cure
WHEN THE WIND IS SLOW
AND THE FIRE'S HOT
THE VULTURE WAITS
TO SEE WHAT ROTS
>a gun so easy to operate it has been in service for almost a century
>yet grunts still manage to frick it up
Sad tbh
Can't tell you how many times the safety at the range freaked out when I let the bolt slam forward. Even though I kept telling everyone it's not a 240 and it doesn't fire from an open bolt
>at 800m
As dictated by the Code Duello of 1777, the official dueling protocol for officers in the 18th century, the challenged gets to decide the arms and field of battle, the challenger the range.
see
and know I accept your terms at 2 yards range.
He'll still beat you because he'll be able to remove the barrel and beat you to death more quickly than you can bring the gun to a fireable condition.
I'm 6'2 and 200 lbs so beating you to death with the barrel is probably a tactic I'd employ.
Ma duece
Too late, also no pic from you actually using it lol. Get rekt
Pistols at now!
>What do you select?
Joyeuse
So be it. Edging at dawn!
I wish you wouldn't call it that. When you use estocs it's poking.
An estoc is a massive, two handed anti-armor thrusting sword. Why the frick would a gentleman dualist use one of those?
>Why the frick would a gentleman dualist use one of those?
Why would you not afford you opponent armor? You should always be as safe as possible when poking someone.
>Thrusting into someone unarmored with your shaft
Come on, dude. That's not safe. Use protection.
Salpinx, with the official ancient Olympic rules for the duel.
I whip out a set of brass knucks and turn that limey’s ribs into marinara then nick his wallet
sword sticks bought at an umbrella stand
Pic rel, at 20m. Odds are he won't know how to operate it and even if he does, I'll still likely win.
tsar bombas, 50 feet distance
A Klondike bar
The obvious answer is Tzar Bombas
NAAs at midnight, 25 yards
Of course we'll both miss all our shots, but we'll both preserve our honor, and the score will be settled
true gentleman
Pic rel, at 20m. Odds are he won't know how to operate it and even if he does, I'll still likely win.
>Pic rel, at 20m. Odds are he won't know how to operate it and even if he does, I'll still likely win.
>dies to back blast from him fumbling with it on the walk out
Overconfidence is a quick and insidious killer.
Each person gets 3 bricks of C4 with detonators.
If you combined it with a maze, that would make for a killer game of real-life bomberman.
Empty Bic lighters in a locked phone booth.
It’s not about winning, it’s about sending a message.
I at least want to have fun
Those shoukder fired .5p cals are pure sex.
Serbu 50, and 1 SLAP round each.
Top hat and suit, gold watch, proper cane, polished shoes
Golden Engraved dueling pistols
11 PM
Chicago inner city
I just dont show up and watch the news tomorrow
It’s brick time.
It is never brick time. Bricks don't need appointments. Bricks are the appointment.
Is that an assault brick m8?
I agree sir, but only if each brick is on two foot of rope. Brick flails are the weaon of the true gentleman.
What's your stance on brickchaku, three-section brick-staffs, and the fabled cat-o-nine-bricks?
Doesn't have to be this exact dagger but an equivalent double edge dagger.
Fricked up when he showed me he wore velvet gloves, see his posh ass fight off a 6'3 rough framer with a knife.
draw and shout HE'S COMING RIGHT FOR ME HE'S COMING RIGHT FOR ME
fire mouse carry gun
/thread
Actual fencing but instead of pussy first blood rules its to the death so I can stab his smug ass
you're literally Lt Feraud
Ready your duel disk, knave.
Loser has to go to the shadow realm.
>Loser has to go to the shadow realm.
But what if already live in Bosnia?
Then we settle this batchall the old-fashioned way. I bid a single Summoner-M.
Stravag, I bid a single point of elementals ,freebirth filth!
>a single point of elementals
Since I cannot find any battlemechs in the Jade Falcon inventory with an individual BV as low as a single point of Elementals, I downsize my bid to three Kestrel VTOLs.
I bid a company of Long Tom Artillery. We meet at Grid reference 113886. Just wait around at that point if I'm a little late, will you?
>But what if already live in Bosnia?
frick off; it's not so bad here as long as you ignore the corruption and wars, and the shitty drivers, and maybe fewer bears would be nice.
I bet you don't even have blue eyes white dragon
You're right. I play Ojamas.
>de-spell land of ojamas
>whole deck is fricked
Gotta keep a few non-Ojama generics in your main and/or extra decks in case the opponent somehow manages to kill all 3 copies of Ojama Country.
Noooo that's the Mexico of Asia!
Roman candles.
He’s gotta Robot Jox me.
I expect I'm stronger than him pound for pound since I've been lifting for a long time. But no doubt he's better with any martial weapon. What's my best choice for brute strength to win? Shoving match on a skyscraper or something?
cage, so you can corner and headlock, then just hug until he stops wriggling.
Carrying of and quick draw of a firearm from concealment, effective immediately.
honour*
The humble newspaper. No sense getting all roughed up over such a trifle, right?
>death from a thousand papercuts
Absolutely horrifying.
Anyways, I'll choose a flamethrower.
Urumi sword whip. Neither of us know how to use it but we'll have fun.
I'm a moron
>fun
It looks extremely painful for everyone involved.
Of course!
Only kind of duel where you will probably draw first blood on yourself
you're big guys
for you
I cast fist
Sledgehammers on the beach at high tide.
>I chose the banjo!
>not the bagpipes
I am disappoint.
>these Black folk not knowing about duelling banjos
>Doesn't get the reference
Gets the reference
Everyone knows real pirates duel with insults, banjos are for landlubbers and washouts.
Sounds like a perfect opportunity to force some to let me practice with my favorite incredibly niche weapon that’s only still relevant because a knife can’t really be irrelevant
Spud gun
Suicide vest, isis style
F22s.
We'd probably both crash and die but at least it'd make a good webm
>it'd make a good webm
Really? Let's see :
>Failed take-off attempt
>Stall (or runway excursion if you're lucky)
>Crash
>Die
Indeed, that'll make a good webm to watch
Shockwaves
Doubt it
AFAIK the whole point of duelling pistols was that they weren't all that accurate. They were already technically outdated by the time when duels were still common.
Every party got one shot and there was a good chance that neither would score a hit in which case the duel would be "done" and whatever offense to the duelists honor would be "satisfied".
Actually duelling pistols were particularly accurate and well-maintained.
This, and I hate the stereotype that they weren't. If a man had cause to believe that the argument was pointless he could choose to miss, but this was very rare. Would duelling actually have been outlawed if people shot to miss most of the time? No. If you respected your opponent you shot to kill, unless you had reason to believe that you and he secretly agreed but needed to save face. This was very rare. In duels, people die. If you truly believe that a smoothbore flintlock pistol can't shoot straight at twenty paces (ten paces each) then I challenge you to to stand still and let me shoot at you with a smoothbore flintlock pistol
It's a moronic nogunz meme. Everything in that box, and the design of the pistols, bespeaks its dedication to throwing a ball where it's intended to go, according to the knowledge of the times.
Everyone says this but I've seen actual demonstrations of flintlock pistols and they're plenty accurate for shooting someone at the ranges most duels are portrayed at.
Lochaber Axes at dawn good sir. Looser is getting fricked in the arse, and I never loose.
Ach, what a braw young lad! Look at those stompers
>Lochaber Axes
why do bongs need separate words for things? That's a bardiche and an expat is an emigrant. And clicketys clacketies are personal computers.
Lochaber axes do not derive from russian axes. And expats usually go abroad for a limited time, not forever.
It comes from Scottish Gaelic, so not exactly bongs
>an expat is an emigrant
No, it's a white emigrant with money.
>Looser is getting fricked in the arse, and I never loose.
Sounds like your are already loose from getting fricked in the ass and you probably want to lose
Pic rel, at 20m. Odds are he won't know how to operate it and even if he does, I'll still likely win.
The correct way to operate a murdercube is to loan it to a museum or art gallery. Judging by his appearance, he probably has more (and higher-positioned) contacts than you. You're stuck with a lump of permanently deactivated steel, meanwhile he has a money printer. You lose this duel, Strelok.
you wouldn't get it
10 megaton nuclear warheads.
If you're gonna go, go big.
Crossbows at 50 paces
>>*strikes you smartly on the cheek with a velvet glove*
I always felt that people who actually slapped others with their glove were especially seething ninnies who could not conduct themselves as gentlemen. The proper way to initiate the invitation is to offer the removed glove to offender or if you're old school, you'd throw the glove on the ground for them to pick it up. At some point, throwing the glove on the ground became throwing it at the guy to slapping them with it. Even if no glove is involved, it was common to insult the offender verbally or with gestures. It was all done to bait the offender into accepting a duel because the challenger is being an ungentlemanly homosexual under pretenses of civility.
The whole point of slapping is that it was *not* the right thing to do...
Anyway. I find it more fascinating how offering a glove, which was a sign of surrender in the Middle Ages, somehow became a sign of challenge.
> I find it more fascinating how offering a glove, which was a sign of surrender in the Middle Ages, somehow became a sign of challenge.
During the medieval times, it was knights doing the dueling and they'd wear gauntlets. They literally threw down the guantlet on the ground to issue a challenge. Eventually knights stopped wearing gauntlets and/or non-knighted nobility got in on dueling so the glove replaced the guantlet.
I'm not familiar with offering a glove meaning surrender, though.
I challenge him to a game of soggy sayo
AR-15, before that 19th century homosexual can work out how to rack it I’ll put a dozen bullets through him
Frick you bong homosexual
The Armstrong Whitworth 4 pounder cannonette, of course.
Rochambeau then from half a pace.
mac-10 at 20 paces, I wouldn't want either of us getting hurt
Three sword style katanas.
Pull out my CC Glock and plug a few in his face. Duel settled.
I dunno man, he looks like he's pretty familiar with one of those.
I'll use my own body, to ensure fairness I'll strip down to my underwear and he'll get off that jabroni outfit, then I'll show him who's the boss of this gym
>Full auto deagle
The obvious answer.
I decline the challenge because I don't want to die!
>pussying out
>pussying out from fighting him
Anon he could throw up the same amount of resistance as wet cardboard
I propose a challenge as to who can kill
the fastest
oral creampie
Psychological Warfare. My attack has already begun.
Meth and a large rock
Agree to his challenge. Say a game of darts. Loser makes a formal apology. Were not barbarians who kill one another over such frivolous things.
Shoot him in the back when he turns to leave.
>guy challenges you to a 1v1 duel of swords
>shows up in his normal gay coat
>you show up in 300 year old "outdated armor"
your move lad
Fists. I lift and do basic boxing so I can rape 99.9% of gen pop. Near 0 risk of getting seriously hurt
Billiard cues. I’m 6’5”. I’ll whack this fricker before he can even reach me
Imma steal a page out of The Baroque Cycle for this one.
Here’s some for your lady friend too.
That my briefcase?
Biggest shit by volume wins. Loser consumes both poos.
Do you get prep time?
Let's make it interesting and say 5 days. It forces the competitors to be strategic. Too much cramming and you die of ripping your anus open and bleeding out. Not enough and you're eating piles of bloody stool.
*immediately cowboy draw my king cobra and blast him*
i feared for my life and acted in self defense
I challenge him to a game of Uno.
Pic rel at decempeda
Odds are he won't know how to operate it and even if he does, I'll still likely win.
He can get whatever sword he wants and I get a 12g shotgun and we start at 10 paces (each) away.
I end him rightly.
well memed my fellow white
>literal glowie
Battlemechs.
Sabres, as a compliment to the cavalry.
At least you'll be killed responsibly, on horseback.
Black powder cannon at 2000 yards
we duel using pallet jacks.
i have used them a lot so i think i can win.
Me and my multiple african american associates promptly physically assault him and remove items of value from his person before fleeing on foot.
I hope the gentleman has some old timey Japanese clothes, we are going full weeaboo for this duel and using classical Yumi
>”Very well, my slave shall participate in my stead.”
>sniiiiiiiif
>okay, what about... a dogfight
>you and me, both in me163
>whoever is dissolved by the fuel first, loses
>try to take off
>skid damages your fuel lines
>you get dissolved by T-Stoff leaking into your wienerpit
Claw hammers at midnight you push c**t
bundyldo
The arena shall be a big field with a bunch of holes the size of kiddie pools dug in it and we each get like 15 frag grenades
>dueling
Just shoot him in the back when he walks away and be done with it.
frick she was so hot in that movie
Dueling is legal in this scenario, shoot him in the back and you'll be executed as a coward and moron, which you are.
>muh cowardice
Let me pour one out for all those honorable men rotting in the ground while I enjoy the rest of my life. If I have to feel bad for the rest of my days because I dropped some moron like a bad habit, so be it. That's a damn sight more than they'll be able to do.
If my life is on the line, you can be goddamn sure that I'm not going to stand on pageantry. It's win or die, and I'll do everything in my power to tip the scales in my favor. You're a moron to do otherwise.
homie moment
>I enjoy the rest of my life
b***h can you read? he said you'd be executed
I can read just fine, I just don't care for contrivances on top of contrivances.
But it's only one contrivance you fricking moron, the literal scenario of the thread presupposes that dueling is the norm. In which case, you'd be killed if you refused a duel only to shoot a man in the back you massive autist.
Sure, let me make the first move.
I activate the magic card pot of greed, which lets ne draw 2 cards from my deck
Savage Axis .308s at 500 yards. If I can't win that, all my precision rifle training has been for nothing and I should just die anyways.
SMLEs at 200 yards 10 rounds a piece.
Pic rel, an hour before dawn
Odds are he doesn't know how to operate it. And even if he does, he'll still likely lose.
>Loudly scream “ALLAHU AKBAR!”
>*hose him down with MAC-11 concealed under my jacket in a shoulder holster*
Start violently jacking off in front of him.
We'll go to the sky, good sir.
dohfight between two airliners with a GAU 8-A in the nose. start off opposite but no firing during initial pass
Being a gentlemen of good standing I accept your challenge.
Can you ride? Are you familiar with the M20 75 mm recoilless rifle?
If so I will see you at dawn or at a time of your choosing
Hydrogen bombs at dawn. In london. He'll be told what they are and how devastating the effects will be if one goes off.
Then we can sit and stare at eachother and maybe he'll forfeit and reconsider slapping random people. Or we get rid of the eternal anglo.
Dragon dildos
Baseball bats and roller skates
>The duel commences as the bass of "Boogie Wonderland" reverberates
>I glide across the ballroom, as if I'm floating
>I taunt you with a graceful pirouette and proceed to skate backwards in circles around you
>All of a sudden, a hickory shape flashes in front of your eyes
>*donk*
Sir I am most happy to oblige you in your request for satisfaction but I would suggest that we let our mandingos take care of the bulk of the unpleasantness for us while we enjoy some mint juleps and molasses pie! What do you say, your biggest baddest buck against my Chauncey here? I have to warn you he's had quite a few bouts and he's never lost a one...but I suppose that goes without saying.
Ruger Vaqueros in .44 mag
He looks like a cut of frickable meat
Fish.
Big bowls of chili. We pull each others fingers and fart, first one to besmirch their undergarments loses.
i stab him with my broken scrumpy bottle and steal his hat
tokarev with hammer pulled back
Your Mudda
FRICK. Does anyone have a photo or remember the name of that Alaskan kiddie pool filled with hotdogs that they make scantily clad women wrestle in.
I was gonna have my duel there but it’s been scrubbed from the internet. Must be some kind of glowie cover up.
Sledgehammers, at the five foot water mark of Lake Pontchartrain.