In the absence of a gun or a knife, what's the best mundane weapon you could use for home defense? A claw hammer? A screwdriver? Maybe a folding chair?
In the absence of a gun or a knife, what's the best mundane weapon you could use for home defense? A claw hammer?
a pencil. no i'm not joking.
where's that video of the guy trying to stab a cop with a pen and getting his shit pushed in?
>t. the Joker
Whatevers at hand.
shovel
t. russians in wwII
Muh dick
Hammer, a cane or walking stick, bat, an appropriate size wrench or pry bar, a small axe or hatchet, various gardening tools...
Canes are classy. You can swing it like a club or thrust like a sword and if you can fake a limp the police don't give you shit about them.
Add a top hat and shoulder cape to complete the effect.
cane sword
Canes are classy if you are 50+ yrs old and dress the part. They look cringe af otherwise
Seriously is this unironic 'class is for men' posting?
or if you are young and dress normal but very obviously walk like you need a cane.
i drilled out a cane i inherited from my polio crippled grandpa to sneak drugs into concerts. i just really play up the limp when going through security and they dont care about the cane.
basically cane sword but drugs.
Ax or shovel. Axe for power, shovel for reach.
Something with reach and durability. Metal bat, maybe with the sides grounded down a little making it somewhat of a mace.
If your home invader has a gun, then nothing. It's over for you.
Sure if you're a defeatist homosexual.
Hammer is easily one of the deadliest tools in a toolbox, though being indoors may complicate things if you get cornered, still i would probably opt for a slightly longer one, with a nice rubber grip.
That picrel may not be the best example, i have one irl and the balance feels rather poor, because the handle is all metal, i think it would be better to have most the weight towards the head.
whats the best one?
ballpean
hammer for self defense should be in the range of 8oz to 12oz
If you can afford a hobby store polearm, you should be able to afford a knife.
>in the absence of a gun or a knife
It's a legitimately useful gardening tool, it will chop though any plant and even small trees, and you use the hook end to drag it where you need it.
They were farming tools first and adapted into weapons later.
Didn't the ancient Romans fight some mountain Black folk who used this and it cut right through Roman Scutum shields and sometimes over their shields?
Ah, there, the Dacian Falx, that's a lot of leverage
angloids are banning knives m8
Is it just my autism or does it bother anyone else that he's just tossing that firewood in there willy-nilly instead of stacking it neatly?
Nah it’s bugging me too, way more efficient to stack properly, he’s gonna have some damp rotten pieces in the middle of that pile
I'd be more afraid of a hammer than a bat
hmmmmm shouldn't have touched the boy
>it ain’t got no gas in it
An electric chainsaw or a cordless power drill.
A crossbow or a slingshot of some sort.
homie is a crossbow a mundane home tool?
john- oh no, there is a home intruder coming and all my guns were lost in a tragic boating accident. jimmy what are we gonna do?
jimmy- i only have mundane home tools like my crossbow and and backyard trebuchet
john- homie what?
Then get a fricking rock and throw it at them.
Rocks are mundane.
What about a whip?
I mean, maybe, if you're a cowboy.
Maybe you're into bdsm?
You know I've never been smacked with a pair of handcuffs but I bet it would fricking hurt.
>be me
>really into bdsm
>guy tries to break into my house
>ohshit.jpeg
>grab my pink whip and whip him harder than my grandpappy whipped his grandpappy (hes black)
>once he is incapacitated, quickly and expertly tie him up using my bdsm knowledge.
>call cops and they see him tied to my sex swing covered in whip marks with pink fluffy handcufs on
mfw they arrest me instead
Don't be ridiculous.
You're black, you'd get shot the moment you open the door for them.
Assuming that the crackhead stealing your tv is a Black instead of white trash(solid odds, really), the sound of it will invoke a blood memory, causing him to submit to the foreman's demands.
>Into the breakin barn you go boah
Can't beat the range, speed, and power of this tool
D-cell Maglite. at least 4 cells.
I remember my granddad, who was a patrol cop in south florida, once told me the best way to beat a Black person with a maglite when I was 10 years old.
You can't just leave it at that Anon.
You need to share your Grandpa's hard earned knowledge with the rest of us. Do you think he'd want it to be a secret? Or do you think he'd want every good law abiding citizen to benefit from his skills?
A spade is among the best. Yes i will elaborate.
>Good lenght
>Various sizes
>Cheaper than a mcdonalds meal
>Actually useful in day to day life
>Large cutting edge for w/ low chance of error, a stab anywhere on the body will create a lethal wound, stab to the neck means death.
>Can be swung as a blunt weapon unlike a spear
>Inconspicious, not even the gaygiest brit will berate you for owning one
>Very thrustable
>Thick handle is very good at forming a barrier between you and attacker, when choked up the large blade surface can be used as a shield if the assailant strikes overhead with a bat or something
>No training nor maintainance required
>Enough heft to smash a door or window in, light enough to not get tired, even useable as a light lever
This is a compelling argument. I want to go to my local DIY and buy a big frick-off shovel now.
Pretty good case, although I thinking erring on the smaller side would be better for HD. I think 2nd place is the youth baseball bat.
Machete
Danger Dongs is the only viable choice.
a cordless cicular saw, only a madman would attempt to get between it and you
The chancla only works in the hands of a Mexican mother or grandmother. It is powerless to anyone else.
now that I think about it Bush did dodge the one thrown at him by the Egyptian guy.
Wonder what happened to him. What’s the punishment for throwing shoes at a foreign leader?
Funny enough I know all about that story. His name was Mohammad al-Zaidi (I think that's how you spell it) and he got three years, but only served one because of a) good behavior and b) throwing a shoe in Iraq is apparently a pretty major form of political protest. He was kinda martyred.
An 8" dagger. Not a knife, but a double-edged, spire-tipped dagger, at least 6" but preferably 8". On an average adult male, the heart is 4" below the skin, so you need another few inches at least if you hope to actually pierce and heart and do damage that will kill them immediately. That's why I always laugh at all these morons with their little 3-4" folder blades. Like, what the frick are you going to do with that? KEK.
>In the absence of a knife
>what weapon you could use for home defense
Is OP for real? Does he live in an old folks home or something? What kind of home doesn't have a knife?
I recall reading an article that people in bongland on probation or house arrest may be forbidden from having kitchen knives in the home.
People are more scared of getting stabbed than hit with a blunt object so probably a bowie knife. That or a mace.
You think so? A sharp crack to the dome with, say, a pan, can kill you just as easily as a knife to the throat.
A shiny sharp blade looks scarier imo. No one wants to get stabbed or even cut.
The problem is with a knife, dagger, or even a shortsword, if you are unarmed the only thing you can do against someone with just about any weapon is try to disable your attacker's arms or wrestle their weapon away.
With any bladed weapon, you have an extremely high probability of getting cut, even if you win. If someone has a blunt weapon, you can only get hurt if they are able to strike you. And getting in close to try and wrestle them is the safest position you can be in.
A hit to the head with a frying pan can kill you, but not as "easily as a knife to the throat." Get real, homie.
I am real, homie. A blow to the temple is easily, instantly fatal. But yeah, people have survived it. People have survived having their jugulars slashed too. It all depends on how you rolled out of bed that morning.
>A blow to the temple is easily, instantly fatal
It's a rare exception that someone is killed with one blow, even with a heavy blunt object. Stop being ridiculous, you fricking tard.
It's rare to be stabbed in the throat too. You're dying on a very stupid hill right now.
...the throat is the one universal place that every human on earth knows to go for if you're using a knife. Yeah most stab wounds are just to "anywhere I can get to" but if given an opportunity, anyone would go for the throat.
On top of that, if you're just a little bit educated on it, you can kill someone with a knife by targeting way, way more areas of the body. If you whip out your frying pan, you can't really kill someone without hitting them in the head. You can disable them, yeah. But you can stab someone in the leg, and they will die. You can take a full swing with a bat to someone's leg and you might break it, but they aren't going to die. And they may not even be hurt to the point they go down and give up.
The head is the most protected part of the human body. The throat is probably the second least protected part. You can't just smack someone in the temple. If you're fighting someone, you aren't just going to get to land that. And unless you see actual brain matter you can't be sure they're actually dead.
With a knife, if you poke someone and see blood spray out, you know they are dead within a few seconds to minutes.
wtf is this scenario? A guy breaks into your house and is in a defensive boxing stance holding a knife? If you grab a baseball bat or other blunt object and attack him with it, one of two things is going to happen:
1) You just surprised the shit out of this intruder and he's almost certainly down in one blow.
2) He's out the door.
But honestly he's probably either unarmed, because he didn't expect to be interrupted, or has a gun, in which case he's STILL not going to be defending his head and throat. Ya'll homies are dumb.
There...there was no scenario. I'm stating facts about the human body and weapons. If you use a bat or a pan, and miss, you cannot defend yourself with that weapon as well as you could a knife. You can be on your back, on the ground, and still keep poking holes in someone. Your bat at that point becomes something you have to worry about.
You don’t go down in one blow from a baseball bat
t. hit in the head with one
DAS A HAMMER DAWG
Dog.
A fire extinguisher and a good club, if you're not allowed to have a knife for some reason.
Extinguishers work better than mace because they cut off oxygen supply. Drugs don't make you need less air.
>and a good club
You're holding a steel cylinder, bro.
Unless you've Grug'ed a decent handle onto it, it's definitionally a mediocre club.
is a sickle a good improvised weapon? i'm gonna get one for yardwork and i want to know it it can replace my ageing beating stick
I mean, it's probably better at slashing than a kitchen knife. It would also have that intimidation factor going. Who else but a pants shitting maniac would keep a sickle on his nightstand?
And you could weaponize a sickle even further by putting a guard of some sort on it. It would also keep you from cutting up your hands in the garden when you're dealing with those god damn weeds with the spikes that get like eight feet tall if you don't rip them out immediately.
depends on the sickle, if it's a really thin one, not really, you're better of with a kitchen knife.
a thicker one is preferable, but i would still go with a big kitchen knife, stabbing is op
>Maybe a folding chair?
Just 619 home intruders
Your legs and a window. Why you would want to fight someone to the death in your own home is beyond me. It could go just as badly for you as it could for them; hell it's more likely to go badly for you. If you don't have a gun just leave your house and run away or get a strong door and a good lock. If those options don't fit your larping then anything that is long that you can thrust and swing. Christ... going into hammer or screwdriver range you're just asking to get killed.
Baseball bat, it's the most deadly weapon that will pass as not having intent to murder
>Absence of a gun or knife
A spear
Das a hammer dawg!!!
What???
>Maybe a folding chair?
machete or billhook, deep cuts end a fight real quick, doesn't really matter where you hit
any blunt weapon comes second. hits to the head end a fight quick, but hits to the body might to almost nothing to stop the attacker
a big black wiener is the ultimate weapon.