Anybody got any home-intruder stories?

Anybody got any home-intruder stories?

250 Piece Survival Gear First Aid Kit

LifeStraw Water Filter for Hiking and Preparedness

250 Piece Survival Gear First Aid Kit

  1. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I have a story from my pizza delivery days back in phoenix, 2013

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Do tell.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Oh no not againt

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Sorry, not interested.
      Anyone else got any stories?

  2. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >Do what you will. I've already won.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous
    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous
      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >a warriors death.

  3. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    me on the left

  4. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >Dafuq goin’ on out dere?

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous
      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        That’s nice

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >Yeah I'm a freedom loving Patriot, except when anybody does anything I disagree with
        Get over yourself

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          Freedom is the ability to practice virtue, something Karl and crew know very little about.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            Well (you) tried

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          Black person he's a Satanist and Marxist, you literally could not find a combination more evil and destructive to society unless you were working with psychopath serial killers.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            Go back to sunday school kid

            • 1 month ago
              Anonymous

              Karsada drank cum from a chalice, pretty cringe if you ask me.

            • 1 month ago
              Anonymous

              Educate yourself idiot

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          Get over my wiener

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          Frick you. Only an imbecile would arm his enemies. During the lockdowns his kind wanted to take children away from their parents and force the jab on all. You are wither an illiterate imbecile or a communist yourself.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          Even Anton would hate you nu-satan, rainbow homosexuals.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Communism is anti-Patriotic and anti-freedom, therefore there's nothing wrong with being anti-communist since it's an ideology antithetical to the foundational values of the United States.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Satanist are SUCH gayS

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          I mean, I blame the parents usually. They're literally rejecting them in all forms because they were shit at parenting.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          A lot of people don't even know what satanism actually is, even "satanists" don't fricking know what it actually is which makes them even cringier.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Satanism is literally hilarious. If they were pagans, that would actually be based.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Paganism is basically satanism, especially neopaganism. It's cringe and gay.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >paganism is basically satanism
            No it isn't, because Paganism is not based on abarhamism.

            • 4 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              All the pagan "gods" were demons larping as deities.

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                Yahweh is a trickster demon to begin with, so already your assumption is flawed.

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                Sure is, Odinist hippie.

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                >For I am a wrathful god (Nahum 1:2-8)
                >I am a jealous god (Exodus 34:14)
                >You are allowed to have slaves and beat them to near-death (Ephesians 6:5–8)
                >You should allow guests in your home to rape your virginal daughter (Genesis 19:8)
                >Songs of Praise is a section dedicated entirely to pillaging, raping, destroying, and decimating civilizations that have wronged the israelites (Isaiah 12-16)
                >You cannot love God unless you hate your family (Luke 14:26)
                >If you worship a different god, you shall be murdered (Kings 10:18-27)
                >If you show empathy for those damned by god you will be turned into a pillar of salt (Genesis 19:26)
                >If you've never even heard of Jesus Christ or Christianity you will be cast out of heaven for eternity (Romans 1:20)
                >The israelites are allowed to kill and destroy others villages and to take their virginal daughters and forced them to be their wives (Judges 21)
                >The israelites are allowed to kill entire cities of men, women, and children and take their belongings and loot for themselves (Deuteronomy 3)
                >As part of a punishment for rebelling against god, murdering infants is a suitable punishment (Hosea 13:16)
                >In fact, killing the infants of your religious enemies as a whole is completely justified (Psalms 137:9)

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                Odds are you're JIDF.

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous
              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                There have been multiple posts like this on boards with flags, and sure enough the anon forgot to turn off his flag. Blue star of David, many such cases. Sad!

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                >You should stop worshipping israeli gods
                >"YOU'RE A israeli SHILL"

                Either a hopelessly brainwashed zionist bot, or a slide-posting JIDF.

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                israelites have been opposing Christ and His Church for 2,000 years. Anti-Christian propaganda in Hollywood? israeli directors/producers/writers/financers. Anti-Christian propaganda in schools and universities? israeli professors. The list goes on and on. The Satanic Church was started by a israelite for the purposes of mocking Christianity.

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                Cool, and pagans predate Christianity and Judaism.

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                And the Romans, Vikings, Aztecs, Babylonians, and Pharoahs? Where are they now?

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous
      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >literal dick sucking cuck.
        >also a satanist.
        not surprised.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      why is she only at 50% opacity? did she only manage to steal that much?

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        She’s mid switch from MAXIMUM STEALTH to MAXIMUM ARMOR

  5. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Me on the ground.

  6. 1 month ago
    Anonymous
  7. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I kicked a opossum that scratched on my door like a cat.

    That’s all I got.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Why would you do that?

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Fricker was trying to get in my house.
        Also because they’re ugly.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          frick you Black person

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          Idiot.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          I bet you're ugly. Possums are bros.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          The only thing ugly here is you.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Rats are disgusting

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Gross, kill it

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Cute opossum anon. In the collection it goes.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      I watched a neighbor punch a raccoon out of the air before it could attack his dog. Was hilarious from my vantage point

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      He’s cold, let them in.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      I accidentally did that to a pigeon in NYC when I was drunk as frick.
      Just got out of a punk rock show, was feeling pretty good, walking down the street in front of New York University.
      Was kind of dancing, feeling good.
      Brought my leg back and swung it forward, watched stupid bird land immediately in front of me, couldn't stop the kick.
      Fricking thing sailed like a football down the block.
      Some hipster chicks across the street started screaming "butthole" and "what is wrong with you?!"
      Some guy behind me doubled over in laughter, got out a "holy shit bro that was tucked up!" between bursts.
      I ran. Don't know if bird survived, kind of doubt it based on how much distance I got. Felt terrible for days.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Kek frick that winged rat. You did good anon

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          pigeons are pretty much nuisances, but they're not pests. Plus they're also docile, scared animals that were bred to be handled by humans. They're like stray dogs, it's middle class morons' fault they're even out there. Idiots had whole societies dedicated to letting them out into the cities. Don't be mean to them, just have the city feed them birth control.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >I accidentally did that to a pigeon in NYC when I was drunk as frick.
        I did something similar to a bat once here in Brazil, but I was fully sober. I was at my garage shaking the dust and dried leaves off my front doormat when a black spot at the corner of field of view lands on ground next to me, I instinctively throw my doormat on top of it and immediately punch it as hard as I can think it was some sort of giant-ass moth or somehow a tarantula that had crept up to me unseen, I fricking hate tarantulas. Turned out it was a bat, killed it instantly.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Pigeons are tough motherfrickers. He almost certainly lived, even if you broke a few of his bones. Unless a cat caught him in the next couple of days while he was recovering, the pigeon was probably fine.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        I did similar once but it was a woman.
        >dancing in a club alone and having a great time
        >unt-unt-unt-unt-unt-unt

        >maybe swinging my arm too much because some dumb b***h walks into my fist
        >crack her on on the nose with a perfect shot in front of her friends
        >OH FRICK OH FRICK
        >apologise profusely but she's just startled and bumbles off holding her bloody nose with her friends following

        Nothing happened but I fricked off home pretty quick after that.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Fricker was trying to get in my house.
      Also because they’re ugly.

      based

  8. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    RIP John Carmack

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      COOM

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      It's fine, that was his ascension to Cybernetic techno-deity.

  9. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Not him but mine is very similar, I had to shoot once
    >be pizza delivery driver
    >7pm ish
    >deliver pizza to this pretty nice house
    >knock on door, hear dog barking
    >man, mid 30s, opens door dog behind him barking at me
    >that will be $16.37 sir
    >gives me money
    >getting change out
    >dog bites me, makes me drop change
    >give dog a little kick so it leaves me alone
    >man lunges at me and grabs arm
    >pull out P-3AT
    >doesnt let go of arm
    >shoot him 3 times in chest
    >wife comes to hall and starts screaming and runs to phone
    >shoot at her 3 times and hit her once in the back
    >shes on the ground bleeding and screaming
    >walk over and double tap her in head
    >hit her once and dry fire second time cuz the P-3AT doesnt have a slide stop
    >walk out
    >dog finally shut the frick up
    >take pizza and throw it in a dumpster a couple of blocks from the store
    >get back to store tell coworkers the blood is pizza sauce
    >pretty good night after that, make like $40 in tips for a 5 hour shift
    >pheonix, 2013
    Point is, it happens, and you should just try to move on and not make the same mistakes.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >>dog finally shut the frick up
      Least believable part of this story

  10. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >buy a house in a shithole
    >front door doesn't have a deadbolt because it's so old, it has a hotel style chainlock instead
    >storm happens and blows the door open letting cold air in all night
    >decide to install a bar to hold the door shut
    >a month later a burglar with a lockpick gun tries to break in at 3:00am
    >they are thwarted by the door bar and give up as soon as they realize it
    Thank you mother nature.

  11. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    What a glorious way to die.

  12. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    image goes hard

  13. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >deliver pizza
    >a troony comes to the door, but hot
    >she says she doesn't have small change
    >I pretend not to have change
    >forced to get a hummer for $15

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      You're gay.

  14. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Found a guy crawling through my bathroom window, wasn't big enough for him to enter. Yelled at him, then chased him down the street barefoot in my boxers. He parked in dead end. Got his plates and called the cops.

  15. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    My GF came over once without telling me, I heard the door open and my dog jumping around excitedly when she entered. It was around 11pm or midnight and she had just gotten off work, I was nearly asleep and pissed off she woke me up, didnt tell me she was coming and made me think she was a robber for a second.

    So I vigorously fricked the shit out of her twice and passed out. Then again in the morning, just to make sure she got the message. That will teach her.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >That will teach her.
      >now a nymphomaniac and stalking my every move
      Shrewd.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Girlfriend? It looked like your girlfriend to you?

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      A GF did similar to me once with her friend whilst I was in the shower and hid in my house.

      What they didn't seem to understand is that my dog didn't like people entering her home without proper etiquette and for whatever reason wasn't keen on strange women either. A buddy had previously visited for the first time and we'd had to go through the carhole making a frick ton of noise because I lost my key - she hated him from then on and I couldn't go for so much as a piss without her coming over to frick him up in my absence.

      Anyway I get out the shower and go down stairs seeing that my dog was a bit uneasy and stood in a doorway trying to compute whether my gf was allowed to vouch. Fortunately I could smell their perfume before she went the 'frick this b***h' route.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Kek my gf something similar. I got home from work thinking I was alone. She said earlier that day that she would be home late for whatever reason. I walk into the bedroom holding a stack of mail. She jumped out and scared me. I jumped and smacked her on the head with the stack of mail. Unfortunately for her the DMV finally got around to mailing me my replacement license plate. She still blames me for BONKING her.

  16. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Would offering my ass to an intruder throw them off enough to have them just leave or would they shoot me and or rape me. I'm fine with the last one. Less seriously would a taurus judge with .410 shells in it basically work like a pocket shotty for home defense or will it anihilate my twink wrists?

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Train firing the Judge with your ass. Then you can present your ass, AND fire from it. Im sure your ass can take the abuse, unlike your flimsy girly wrists.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        I could pop the shell up there as a booby trap but if there aint a base it will be gone without a trace.... I'll think more about the mechanics of this. Only home intruder story I got is a guy got really drunk one halloween and ended up in my friend's house 3 hours after he had a halloween party and was just sleeping on their sofa. They cleared it up but my friend got a little gungho waving his shotgun everywhere and threatening him so frankly as an outsider it sounds kinda overdone and embarassing.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          Post pencil in fartbox

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous
  17. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >Be me
    >Growing up at countryside
    >it's 1996, give or take two years
    >Local coomer is sneaking through the garden to peek at my sister
    >Chase him to the the street, he vanishes in nearby corn field
    >Dad gets us a Caucasian Shepherd
    >Somehow totally harmless, except raging hate for drunkards
    >Fast forward eight years
    >That senile frick, drunkard neighbour, feeds him meat spiked with rat poison
    > That day I learned that dogs cry in pain
    I miss that stupid doggo like you wouldn't believe

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >rat poison

      You know a shot of vitamin K1 at the local veterinary clinic would have saved his life, right? Commericial rat poison has been strictly blood thinner agents for the last 40 years specifically so stupid doggos and kittos who eat poisoned rats/traps can get the 'poisoning' reversed.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >Commericial rat poison has been strictly blood thinner agents for the last 40 years
        Bromethalin has been the preferred rodenticide since about 2012. It a nerve agent. It kills by cerebral edema, among other mechanisms. Treatment is corticosteroids and osmotic diuretics. Outlook is not good, even with prompt treatment.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          Yeah but this dude's dog kicked it in the early 2000's so it would have been wafarin or whatever that stronger one was called.

          Also, can one obtain Bromethalin OTC or do you need a pest controllers licence?

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            You can get Tomcat rat bait at most hardware stores, or Amazon

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >You know a shot of vitamin K1 at the local veterinary clinic
        nta but I live in a country area and the nearest veterinary clinic is a good 45min away, in some areas it'd be further. The nearest 24/7 emergency one is like 3 hours away, so if you have a pet get poisoned after regular business hours there might just not be time.

        Don't be homosexual anon. If someone poisons someone else's animals on purpose sometimes you might save them but often not and it's a bad way to go. Poisoner deserves to die.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          >Poisoner deserves to die.
          here in europe it's common before thiefs will try to enter your home that they make the rounds of the neighborhood that they throw poisoned meat so that the dogs will be dead when they enter. it's usually subhuman gypsies and other slavs that do this.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >You know a shot of vitamin K1 at the local veterinary clinic
        nta but I live in a country area and the nearest veterinary clinic is a good 45min away, in some areas it'd be further. The nearest 24/7 emergency one is like 3 hours away, so if you have a pet get poisoned after regular business hours there might just not be time.

        Don't be homosexual anon. If someone poisons someone else's animals on purpose sometimes you might save them but often not and it's a bad way to go. Poisoner deserves to die.

        The vet came too late

        When the neighbour finally got a stroke, the rescuers found him paralysed in the puddle of his own vomit. He spent another month in hospital, then passed away without regaining any semblance of control.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          >When the neighbour finally got a stroke, the rescuers found him paralysed in the puddle of his own vomit. He spent another month in hospital, then passed away without regaining any semblance of control.
          Most unfortunate!

  18. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Got home intruded twice as a broke uni student in Leafistan.

    First time some crackhead wandered in and smoked something that smelled like burning plastic on our couch. We called the cops while we cautiously peered from the top of the stairs that descended into the living room where he was. Cops came in and dragged him out, he claimed we had his shoes but we never found them, I assume he had none.

    After that I smartened up and kept a knife beside the bed, spear at the top of the stairs, and compressed gas pistol (not an air gun, just one of those pistols that simulate shooting noises with blowback etc. real home alone shit since having a real gun for home protection is verboten here.

    Second time someone came in, it was a crackhead couple in the middle of the day. They marched into the living room and immediately up the stairs where I was waiting. Hard to explain the layout, but essentially if the stairs started at the south on the first floor and ended on the north at the second floor, I was standing on the second floor at the south side, leaning over the railing so I had a full view of them coming up the stairs, with them facing away from me.

    I threw the spear at the man, it caught him in the arm but didn’t do a ton of damage, while I sprinted around the railing to head to the top of the stairs, screaming bloody murder while firing blank shots with the fake pistol and waving a knife. Real tard rage yells. They tumbled down the stairs and ran faster than I’ve seen anyone move, and turned around to cuss me out when they were on the sidewalk. Said they thought our apartment was having an open house and that it was our fault for not having the door locked. Threatened to call the cops for the whole spear chucking thing, and I told them if they ever came back I would kill them.

    Shitty roommates not locking the door were the culprit both times.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Anyway, nothing incredible. But for 5-10 years after, I would have recurring home invasion dreams. Always the same, where I’d realize the front door is unlocked, then when I go to lock the door it blows wide open and I’m struggling to keep people out. Funny how brains work

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        your interior is a woman

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          I’ve always enjoyed womens’ interiors

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Kinda like this? (from 25 seconds)

        ?si=SxZDupoIKj5TBbVz&t=25

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Bummer. Though door security is getting a little easier nowadays, can get stuff that autolocks every time for example. Still need a proper bolt but it'll prevent randos entering just on a whim.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      My brother goes to college in Raleigh NC and every time I've come around he and his apartment roommates just have the door unlocked. I get that it's an ungodly slight fricking inconvenience to have to unlock your door when you come home, but holy shit. I've tried several times to just GIVE him a gun, but he doesn't want one. I really don't understand. The area he's in is nice, but people in nice areas have been killed before.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Break into his house and beat the shit out of him while he's asleep so he learns his lesson. Wear a mask and gloves.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >smoked something that smelled like burning plastic
      you mean crack

  19. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I knocked on this door once, but nobody answered a d I looked it the peep hole, but I didn't see anything and I went away and went home and had chips for dinner and watched Gilligan. Kinda sucked.

  20. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >be 12
    >parents on a business trip to Sydney
    >sister bikes down to the bowser to buy a couple of bubbleo bills
    >her chain slips and slows her down in the 40 degree heat
    >pack of feral boong kids sense weakness and follow
    >she gets back and we rush to put the ice creams in the freezer
    >our rottweiler/german-shepherd cross called Butch starts growling
    >he still has a limp from being hit by a truck as a puppy and starts pacing
    >hear whispering and footsteps outside
    >the rifles are locked up and in my panic I can't remember the new combination
    >grab dad's cudgel from the bedroom
    >rush to lock the doors
    >remember the laundry door lock is still broken because I wasn't around and dad wanted to show me how to fix it
    >hear it open
    >a horde of 8 boong kids sneak in
    >first one in is their leader with blond frosted tips, rat-tail and cleft palate
    >he sees my surprise and fear and starts smiling as he approaches and his friends start rifling through our key drawer and jars looking for money
    >says something about my sister in that barely intelligible, whining drawl
    >produce the boong-basher
    >roughly the shape of a baseball bat with a steel collar on the end, hex-nuts above and below, and a steel guard around the handle
    >he struggles for the bread knife tucked into his shorts
    >is in the middle of yelling something
    >crack his skull with a single swing
    >lets out a horse gasp and goes completely silent
    >drunkenly staggers past his friends and out the door
    >two of his friends consider rushing me, but I swing again and break one's hand
    >they start to back out
    >open bedroom door with my sister and Butch inside
    >Butch comes barrelling out of the room with barks so loud they leave me with tinnitus
    >literally tears the back of a kid's shirt off with a narrow miss
    >sinks his teeth into another's arse/hip and takes his shorts with a bit of skin and a lot of blood
    >blondie's brother has to throw him over the fence as they all jump over
    >made off with at least $1.50 in change

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >This has been a certified Aus Hood Classic brought you to by Butch and The Boong-Basher (tm)

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Based Butch. You're lucky the abbos didn't tell the coppers (after being treated at a hospital or being interrogated for other crimes) otherwise they might have put Butch in the back of a RSPCA paddy wagon.

      Also, based taste in ice-cream. Fuark, might go and get a Bubblegum Billy right now.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >hide dog elsewhere
        >tell cops you don't own a dog and to go sniff a c**t and get off your property
        >wait a little bit
        >bring dog back

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      You Australians should've wiped them out when you had the chance.

  21. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    TFW
    >be me
    >hasgunz
    >no intruders

  22. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >panty sniffer.

  23. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    GONK

  24. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    in b4 bonk

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Thanks for reminding me of s/k/out anon bonking ohne intruders with his bat.

  25. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >be me, 18yo eurogay with a fresh licence
    >buy glock 19
    >2 weeks pass
    >evening after work
    >hear rustling oustide near window
    >ignore it
    >hear more rustling then something fall
    >it'stime.tiff
    >grab glock, grab phone and flashlight
    >start searching outside the house for intruders with glock in hand
    >hear rustling again
    >look closer
    >pic rel comes out from under the firewood that had fallen
    I remember being disappointed I didn't get to smoke a Black person but I also remembered the last bulglary in my town was before I was born.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      little did you know he had already buried the stolen valuables

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >another successful hit by the hedgeburlglar

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >hears rustling outside window
      >heres something fall
      All of a sudden it was Samwise Gamgee trimming the verge late at night droppin some 'eves'

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      I didn’t mistake it for a home invader, but last time I heard something rustling in the bushes it was an armadillo. Not as cute as that guy, but pretty cute.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Watch out anon those lil shitters can carry bubonic plague. Some landscaper in florida caught it in 2023 lol

  26. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I do but everytime I've posted it people say I'm lying, despite this being an anonymous beekeeping website where it's impossible to get clout

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Post it anon, I'll believe you.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Post it

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        You're not supposed to acknowledge that you've identified anything at all wrong. That is a normal deer and you're leaving the woods for fun.

  27. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Just once. They're not as fun as /k/ fantasizers would have you believe.
    I'm still kinda shaken about it if I'm being completely honest.
    >2006
    >Birmingham Alabama
    >3ish in the morning
    >alone at night sleeping
    >hear loud crash, wake up
    >instinctively reach for Glock 19
    >no sooner do i have it than i hear someone storming up the stairs
    >unlock bedroom door and position myself behind dresser so i have a clean shot
    >hear footsteps and a couple doors open
    >finally my bedroom door flies open
    >biggest boot african you've ever seen
    >holding a legit machete
    >obviously furious about something
    >never found out what, maybe after revenge and got the wrong house or something
    >magdump him and he collapses, starts screaming
    >reload, cant really shoot him more at this point without murder charge
    >call police and tell them what happened
    >sheriff, couple deputies, and ambulance show up within a couple of minutes
    >sheriff and the EMTs look at the guy and then eye each other
    >"aint much tahme left boys, gotta work quick"
    >thickest dixie accent you ever heard, i live here and could barely understand it
    >EMTs perform basic stabilization, rig up a quick IV and put pressure on the wound, have to cut and take off his clothes to get to the wounds
    >turns out I hit him 13 times, pretty much all over
    >sheriff looks at me
    >"maght need a hand hurr, can yall grab that fellers feet"
    >i oblige
    >sheriff and deputies begin to undo their belts and drop their pants
    >"aint no buck dyin unbroken in alabammy on mah watch"
    >sheriff amd deputies begin the breaking process
    >every hole is used, natural and bullet-caused
    >they unload everwhere
    >guy looks up at them, says "thank yuh massa", and dies
    >"feller's a goner now, we're all done here boys" the sheriff says
    >police shoot my dog on the way out

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      This is just a normal part of gun ownership, if you haven't had it happen 2-3 times you probably don't shoot enough or have enough guns. I wouldn't worry about it anon.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Coward dog deserved it for not doing shit when the Black person burst in.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      You shot and killed John Coffee you hick shitkicking piece of puke

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Then raped him, it's a national past time.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        He was fiddna get anotha piece o cornbread fo Mista Jengles

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Fantastic pasta

  28. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    It has been a while since I posted mine.

    >be me
    >2013
    >fresh out of college
    >living in an apartment in shitty part of DFW thats close-ish to work but cheap
    >someone rear ends me during commute
    >car in shop, have loaner for a week
    >wake up at 3am to the sound of scratching on other side of bedroom wall where the living room is
    >see that under my door the lights are on
    >oh shit, grab 1st gen M&P, get on other side of bed from the door, and call 911.
    >as soon as I hear the operator on the phone my bedroom door swings open and a hand fumbles for the light switch, i can’t hear what the operator is saying because I’m focused
    >ceiling fan lights come on and someone I’ve never seen before in my life comes through the door.
    >start blasting at the large but over weight black guy
    >guy makes a surprised face and a shout and falls like a sack of potatoes
    >police and ambulance show up
    >guy is dead
    >thought I shot 3 times but it was actually 5.
    >found out later that 2 were right in the sternum, one of which punctured one of the main arteries that runs down the spine (the shot that likely killed him), one into his right lung, 1 went into my bathroom and got stopped in a towel in the linen cupboard next to the sink, and 1 went through his arm and into the wall stud next to the door frame.
    >guy had a burglary wrap sheet from when he was a teenager, was mid 30s but looked damn near 50.
    >the scratching sound was him unplugging my tv and everything from my livingroom wall
    >cops said he was probably casing the place since I had a largish TV visible from the window and that my car had been gone for several days
    >no charges ever pressed

    I was lucky in that he didn’t have any close family try to pull any civil suit shenanigans. Closest living family was a brother in Louisiana who was incarcerated. The thing that amazed me was the amount of blood. It was as though a gallon milk jug was filled with blood and just casually tipped over onto the floor. I broke my lease early.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      He prolly thought you werent there because your regular car wasnt parked outside. In this day and age where so many people have guns do people still try and break and enter when people are home? Unless theyre on meth maybe

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        I just read that you posted what I thought already. Lol disregard my idea, I am tarded

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >In this day and age where so many people have guns do people still try and break and enter when people are home?
        If ring doorbell cams are to be believed, yes.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Yeah. Someone tried to case my family members place a few months ago out in the sticks. Dogs scared them off before they did anything, few houses around here had their toolsheds broken open.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >I was lucky in that he didn’t have any close family try to pull any civil suit shenanigans.
      Anyone killed in the commission of a crime should be excluded from being the subject of any civil suit except one filed against their estate to recoup damages.

  29. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    What the uck is wrong with John Carmack?

  30. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Didn't shoot, but I pulled my gun.
    >be me living with my widowed mother. Helping her out
    >old ass refrigerator dies, not worth it to fix.
    >buy a new one from RC Willey, they will even come install it for a small fee.
    >why not?
    >in comes a Hispanic who doesn't speak English, and a shorter fatter Hispanic who speaks a little English.
    >they install the fridge, but then the no English Hispanic starts yelling at me to give him a tip
    >frick off. Tell him to leave, and I already paid.
    >he refuses.
    >this lasts for about 30 min before I pull my jerichoRBL on his ass and tell him to leave my house now.
    >he leaves, I call RC willey and tell them about the Hispanic who wouldn't leave.
    Hopefully the beaner got fired.
    I also live in a castle doctrin state, so all it well.

  31. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Not mine, but my 5 foot tall late fifties aunt

    >Bongland
    >grim northern town
    >single woman living alone in a terrace house
    >for some reason an incredible night owl, regularly up into the small hours altering dresses and making shit to sell on the internet
    >disturbed one night around 2am by the sound of someone kicking down the kitchen door
    >goes to confront them
    >on the way down, door gives way with a loud crack
    >walks into kitchen, immediately picks up a glass off the counter and flings it at startled burglar
    >he scarpers, leaving an alarmingly big blood trail
    >props broken door shut with chairs

  32. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    4 very drunk and probably tweaking indians wandered into my campsite in the Jemez mountains of New Mexico, I was just posted up by the fire listening to skinwalker stories on my phone and drinking fine single malt out of a red solo cup, as is tradition. I think they were trying to start shit and saying something about taking their land back but honestly they were so fricked up I couldn't understand them. Indians get a special kind of blind sloppy drunk that most white don't see outside of college party houses and even then there's a real meanness to it that's entirely missing from those celebratory atmospheres. I had my 11.5" 2-stamp NV gun leaning against a stump which leaned over and grabbed, racked, then laid across my lap, never getting up, never breaking eye contact. One of them said it was fake so I let a round go into a stump, even with a can it's still loud as frick of course. Well they sobered up real quick, to the extent that they could and all I said to them was "Frick off," which they did. I packed my shit up, doused the fire best I could and drove home in the middle of the night. Frick chugs and frick New Mexico.

  33. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Some drunk dude somehow wandered his way into my crawlspace, when I confronted him pistol in hand he seemed to genuinely think it was his house and I was just "hanging out". The cops took him home, apparently this scenario is pretty common.

  34. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I used to do home invasions all the time. Tear gates off the driveway with our trucks, bust the doors in, slap motherfrickers awake then zipcuff them and cinch laundry bags tight over their heads while their wives and children screamed and cried.

    Good times.

  35. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Thrice did the Jehovah's come to our house. On the third dawn did our fricker of an American akita do the most impressive jump over a fence and tackle a heretic.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Chad Akita recognizing heresy.

  36. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I was a cop. I've responded to multiple home invasions. Most of the time it's extremely targeted i.e. they're looking for drugs and know you have them. Othertimes it's the ignorant california liberal types that do absolutely nothing to discourage it. Here's the biggest tips I give people to avoid home invasions:

    1) Get a big fricking dog like a German Shepherd or a Rottweiler. A loud bark is better than any security system.
    2) Don't live around black people, or drug addicts aka "high crime" areas. I'm not joking. Even poor white neighborhoods are safer than middle class black neighborhoods. I'm not being racist you homosexual mods, this is literally what I have seen in my years as a po-leece.
    3) Don't advertise your shit. Big TV, speakers, guns, hot wife, etc.
    4) Motion sensor lighting, external TV cameras, etc.
    5) Get deadbolts on every main entry point.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      6) Replace all your outside doors with solid wooden doors, none of that hollow core doors bullshit.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      your hot wife.

      I am 12 what is this?

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >Don't live around black people, or drug addicts aka "high crime" areas. I'm not joking. Even poor white neighborhoods are safer than middle class black neighborhoods. I'm not being racist
      no you are, it’s just sometimes reality is racist as well.

      What’s with this bullshit of having to wait a minute to post, despite not having posted recently? I was at an airport earlier and thought maybe it was from shitloads of people with the same IP, but it’s still doing this at home :/

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >, hot wife
      you saw peoples wives get stolen in your career?

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      > extremely targeted i.e. they're looking for drugs and know you have them
      Very much this. Any decent thief is only going to hit your house if they KNOW you have something they need. Guns, drugs, cash, or valuables. Don’t brag about shit you own. You may trust the person you told, but you have no idea who they’ll tell next. Keep your mouth shut, your doors locked, and a gun loaded and ready.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >Even poor white neighborhoods are safer than middle class black neighborhoods.
      Sad thing is every middle class black neighborhood has a pair of nice black parents. One son joins the Navy, one daughter goes to college, and the youngest son gets indoctrinated by pop culture and joins a gang.

      Tldr: Crabs in a bucket,

  37. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Sort of boring and not really an invasion, since it ended before that part, but I did grab my gun ready to use it.
    >Be on third floor of town home.
    >Neighbor calls me
    >Tells me another neighbor from across the street called him says that there's been a dude trying to open my front door for the past 10 minutes
    >Go down with gun (I grabbed my carry gun instead of my HD gun for some reason).
    >Dude already left, but 2 cop cars show up a few blocks down arresting the dude.
    >Another neighbor a few houses up called the cops earlier since the guy was doing the same thing to other houses over the past hour.
    >Talking to the neighbor who called me and see cop walking towards us.
    >Go put gun away and go back out to give statement to cop.
    >Fast forward a year later. Got letter from DA stating dude plead guilty to second degree criminal trespassing. 16 days in jail on $429 attorney fee (I though public defenders were free).
    Apparently they could only charge him for the attempt on my house, since it was the only ones with a shitload of witnesses.
    I realize I was moronic for not knowing the goings on in and around my house even when I'm home, so I have 4 cameras now. At least I got good neighbors.

  38. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Im calling it now, my wifes gonna tank top chick. wish me luck boys

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