How can you secure a house like this without putting up iron bars on windows and killing your property value?
How can you secure a house like this without putting up iron bars on windows and killing your property value?
How can you secure a house like this without putting up iron bars on windows and killing your property value?
don't live around morons
/thread
Unironically earthen fortifications, if anything I'd imagine they'd add to home value
Reinforced window frames.
Thick polycarbonate windows. (Think bulletproof car, or cashier's booth in the ghetto.)
Reinforced walls.
Proximity alerts such as lights
Surveillance cameras around the property.
A dog or two.
claymore
>Knock it down
>Build it to first world standards (ie Bricks/blocks and mortar)
>Double laminate windows
>Decent composite door
Here are the very minimum basics
This anon covered most things, and they're all expensive-ish.
You can learn gardening and make one or two rows of thorny hedges with iron gates as the only entrance. Break line of sight everywhere you can with conifer trees and put hidden cameras on them. Makes it harder to spot approaching people, but it also discourages an assault in the first place, as attackers often rely on having first strike and intel advantage. If they can't see anything, they have no idea what room you are in, or at home even. Or how many people reside inside.
Intel and awareness > physical barriers, although both are important.
Ty, this
guy had a point not mentioned yet which is huge
>A dog or two
Any dog is better than no dog, small ones are usually alert and yappy nothing gets by them, big ones are loud and no one wants to risk being bitten by one.
Dogs are based in every way. They will scare off some of the less determined burglars. If the burglar is determined, they have to get rid of the dogs first, alerting you and making them an attacker, giving you legal arguments for self-defense in the court later.
The only downside is dogfeed, but if you can't neither afford to buy that nor grow chickens, how real is your motivation?
Hire a good landscaper and utilize added features like ponds, retaining walls, and ha-has. Heavy equipment can easily add features to flat land. The right kind of landscaping helps a lot: i.e. thornbushes under the windows makes it a lot harder for someone to get in.
Get proper hurricane-rated windows or storm shutters if you're worried about those as a point of failure.
You know you can just buy bulletproof glass, right? If you install it yourself it isn't even ruinously expensive or anything, you could do a large picture window for around twenty grand.
>If you install it yourself
A bulletproof double-glazed window of roughly standard size (2mx1.2m) weights approximately 320kgs. There are specialized suction cup loaders for this shit, zero chance you can install it alone. Assuming it's bulletproof against 7,62.
I was assuming UL8, yes. My error, apparently, was assuming that most homeowners are either personally capable or have a social network capable of handling a load that weighs less than half a ton. Where I'm from that's no big deal.
How about you mow the fucking roof first..?
How the fuck do you people feel safe living in a wooden house? Like wtf dogs live like that.
Build the wall
>in a historic architectural style that accentuates the culture and heritage of the town or city you reside in
>casual rooting tooting frontier style pallisade
Why do you care about property values? If you plan on living in the house for your foreseeable future, you should want the value to go down, not up. Why do you want to pay more in property taxes?
That's not how property tax works.
That is exactly how it works, the value is eventually reassessed. It's not just based on how much you originally paid for it.
The property value used for taxation is not the same as the actual market value of the house. The government doesn't send out appraisers to every single house. It just sets a figure based on reasonable market value of a house in the area. Even if you turn your house into a ghetto shithole nightmare that wouldn't sell for 10 grand you'll be paying the same taxes as your neighbors.
Big dogs. Not shitbulls though.
>killing your property value?
Irrelevant. Pay for the house and live in it.
Even if you don't care about resale value who wants to live in a house that looks like it belongs in the hood?
>retaining walls
Most of the hood houses and properties, at least the ones with trees and shit mixed in, have nothing wrong with them and look fine.
The houses are not the problem.
False equivalency
That's AI, isn't it? This earth is fucking GAY now.
Burn it down in advance. Stick home suck.
Claymores
A nice looking fence and some motion detectors
>bars
>killing your property value
You know you can just take them off?
Onlybif you want to live in the past. I say never go back, only move forward! The past is for the weak, the strong command the future! Rrreee!
>secure a house like this
Use it as a bait house and setup boobie traps and ambushes.
>hehe boobies and traps
A moat. Remember, morons can't swim. Simply dig a perimeter around, line with bentonite, add pond liner sheets over top, stock with fish, enjoy.
Of course all the dirt you displace has to go somewhere, so make some walls. Plant blackberries on the outside, this will make a nigh impenetrable wall of thorns that also produces delicious berries you can harvest and preserve, bake into pies/cobbler, scones, etc.
>impenetrable
https://bringatrailer.com/listing/alvis-fv603-saracen/
I don't think I can get this past the HoA even if it passes city building code (it doesn't).
>city
>HOA
yeah you're not gonna make it.
Looks like a mosquito breeding ground.
Stock your pond with some koi or minnows or guppies alongside your feed fish.
Of course it is. What do you think the fish I told you to stock are going to eat? Koi and minnows are great choices as koi taste good and minnows will feed larger fish. Goldfish would also work and will grow massive, but don't really taste great generally. Although a moat constructed like I said will have extremely clean water, which might make them taste alright.
>drain a moat
>lined with bentonite and pond liner
Yeah they're gonna need an excavator to do that in a timely manner. morons don't have those.
Can't get past the moat. But good point, let's add tank traps to the earthwork defenses. They'll be obscured by the blackberries and really fuck up anything that drives into them. large trenches dug into the hill would be great as well and would act as an effective pitfall, and be entirely invisible under the blackberries.
Plant flowers that attract dragonflies, those things will absolutely genocide any mosquitos in the area
Unironically it'd work. What would they do, bring a canoe?
See, this is the damnedest thing. I want to make fun of the moat. But what the fuck am I going to do about the moat? I can't drive across the moat. If I swim across the moat but there's a wall I'm fucked. I don't want to mess with the dude that has a moat, that just sounds like a pain in the ass.
Literally the only way to deal with it would be to drive an excavator in, presumably as you shoot at them, and start digging a canal to drain the water.
Just don't fuck with the guy who has a moat. There's easier ways to live.
>Simply
Simply drain the moat.
>morons can't swim
Why can't they?
I don't know, ask them.
Cultural deficit, and also genetic factors. You'll see non-bouyant humans in any ethnic group but it's extremely common for certain African ethnicities and their descendants to not really float.
Higher bone density and culturally blacks don't have swimming pools or go swimming
No swimming pools in the hood, so no way and no real incentive to learn how to swim.
The bone density thing some anons are saying is a crock of shit, Africans born in places where being on water is a fundamental part of life can swim fine and learn to do so very young.
They can swim, however many Africans are completely non-buoyant. They don't float. While the average white person can simply float without any effort, only fat blacks can. So, most of the American variety are fine. Real ass Africans have to actually try to not sink.
>Real ass Africans have to actually try to not sink.
Yeah they have to swim.
You know there are metallic shutters that you can lower and open in the morning? Bars or fences that can't move are for poors.
Minefield.
Place the severed heads of failed burglars and highwaymen on stakes outside your property. Or else capture them alive, break their knees, and then gibbet them at the turn-in to your property.
>Place the severed heads of failed burglars and highwaymen on stakes outside your property. Or else capture them alive, break their knees, and then gibbet them at the turn-in to your property.
I'm worried that doing something like this will crash curb appeal and property value.
>he doesn't want to be neighbors with Vlad the Impaler
I bet he's really good at roasting kebabs anon
Call it "avant garde" and some faggy art major will buy it for the exclusivity
That doesn't look like anywhere morons would be.
A moron would literally go insane if he ended up anywhere without a concrete sidewalk, I wouldn't worry about it
Push house aside
Construct giant basement with steel access door
Put all home stuff into basement
Push house back
Live comfy and safe in hidden basement
Burglars will see empty house and forego burgling
If they decide to occupy the house murder them at night and burn the body and scatter the ashes
Solar heated moat with rare imported crocodile and piranhas. That should boost the property values and security.