You are miles from safety. You can choose one weapon to fight your way out with. What do you choose? How do you escape?
You wake up in the depths of a Favela.
You are miles from safety. You can choose one weapon to fight your way out with. What do you choose? How do you escape?
Shitty clothes, I pick a direction and keep walking.
SADM. I remove favela and myself. I escape life and so do they.
>You are noticed immediately because of your pale skin
>Gang members start following you
>You hear someone say "el undercovero policio gringo!"
Death is coming.
anon...
Brazil is at least 49% white
Not true and absolutely not true in the favela. Favelas are basically where groids get to live because they cant afford apartments in Rio or San Francisco.
true.
Argentina is like 90% black.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA
Idiot, it is not the colour of your skin that will get you noticed. Your dumb iphone on the selfie stick will
You would benefit from some basic foreign language training
moron american brain, 30 iq at most, peanut brain, if that ever happens to you you deserve it for being mentally moronic larper
Nah, they gang members will see you as a dumb tourist and tell you to frick off in a particular direction. Even the favela monkeys know messing with tourists is a bad idea.
>You hear someone say "el undercovero policio gringo!"
And who is that idiot who is trying to shittily LARP as a parody of a Mexican, in a portugese-speaking country?
They are similar languages, to the point where two speakers of one language and the other language can understand each other.
Native speakers can sort of understand each other, some of the time (and Portuguese speakers are better at understanding Spanish than the other way around), but if you're an American who has learned a bit of Spanish in high school, it will be more-or-less useless. Portuguese may look similar, but the pronunciation is completely fricked in the head. Especially in Rio.
I have known multiple people from south america and they range from white to brown skin. Similar to people from north america.
Sam was right when he said going inawoods or rural basically gives you a learning disability.
Link to the vid which he said that. Not that I don't believe you, I just want Sam's insight on that.
be friendly
I've been to the slums of Tjakarta and Huehueland before.
It's not that bad as the burgers said, just don't show off or play Steven Seagull
>play Steven Seagull
I’m not fat and can run so I think I’ll be ok
Something i can sell and get a cab to the airport
>You can choose one weapon to fight your way out with.
>fight your way out
You die no matter what you pick.
/thread here but morons want to LARP
I grab my IMBAL FAL and start blasting.
Oldie but a goodie
any weapon? any weapon at all?
I choose a 93R if so, so I can just hitch a ride back to the border and illegally smuggle my 93R in
I've been to worse places.
>Blend in with clothes
>Smile
>Be friendly
Many westerners seem to think that outside the gated community it's a wild west no man's land.
>Many westerners seem to think that outside the gated community it's a wild west no man's land.
Indeed they're very wrong. It's much more violent and lawless than the wild west.
In some places in the world, this will kill you.
In particular, in xUSSR a smile is a sure sign that a person is a foreigner. Locals don't smile, period. You smile, you get destroyed, with a classical "what are you happy about, dork?"
People from the favela are fricking cool and friendly. Also pretty generous and happy to joke around and sing. They are shit poor and know it, but they aren't broken people. Quite the opposite.
But obviously, don't frick around with drugs, prostitutes and gambling or get black out drunk. So yeah, for the most parts Americans are in danger in favelas
Walk downhill. Take every turn that flows downhill. Eventually you will arrive at an exit because shit needs to go somewhere.
>Bring rubber boots and hand sanitizer.
B54 with a deadman switch
That depends, what difficulty setting am I on?
you are in brazil, mamaco, is that even a question?
Already done that lol. Brasileiros are defenseless against young, confident, White men in white shirts and ties. I walk right out of the favela, stopping to eat lunch with some random family that invites me in because I have a “cara de gente boa” I leave them with a Book of Mormon that they promise to read, but never will. They give me directions and tell me to vai com Deus.
This is an absolute genius disguise if you want people to leave you alone. Greyman tier.
Frick, Mormons were the real ghey men all along.
>Brasileiros are defenseless against young, confident, White men in white shirts and ties
This is the funniest shit i ever read. Brazilian btw
>Its true
So true kkkkkkkkk
Take my clothing off throw it on the floor rub it around in the dirt, piss pants after putting them back on. Rub as much dirt and grime on exposed skin as possible. Hope I have a hat and sunglasses.
Light a smoke chain smoke the entire thing in one go so I sound like shit if I have to talk. Light another smoke to keep in my mouth. Find empty booze bottle in trash pile, pour remainder on face and carry bottle to look like a drunk.
Tuck my suppressed glock 26 with switch in my pants next to my stendos and walk the frick up out of there mumbling to myself and acting like nondescript street person/drunk and pray no one stops me till I get somewhere else
>He fell for the "Dangerous Favela" meme
Cops in raids kill more unarmed people than gangs do in Rio
Favalas are like a shittier version of those Italian enclaves ran by the mob; as long as you aren't starting shit in them, they're pretty safe, but if you get on someone's shitlist then the authorities won't save you.
>Be me
>Red skin native father. Mixed white/native mother
>Black curly hair
>Can grow some facial hair.
>Literally blend in ANYWHERE in the western hemisphere as long as I keep my mouth shut
I'm cool
Is an hero an option?
Act like typical obnoxious tourist. Everytime you see some guy with MG, act amazed and ask for selfie. Befriend some of them.
Priest clothing, I go around blessing houses and offer to bless the rifles of some gang members.
I tell my russian buddy to pick me up in his helicopter
go to the nearest shop and buy 2 slabs of alcohol, hand em out as i walk out and bang OP's mom
I chose to blind, concuss and deafen everyone around me to make my escape
Don’t get BOPEd
>What do you choose?
Martini Henry Rifle and flag.
>How do you escape?
Escape?
call US embassy and wait till a seals or delta team come to pick me up
Flamethrower w/ unlimited napalm
This is my weapon. And a high-vis vest. Maybe a tiny aluminum ladder.
I join a passing flock of transgenderds and make my escape
Dual 1887 12ga's duh
How has no one posted that yet?
because that's gay as frick
I took an uber into the favela for some pussy once, with nothing but a pocket knife and a phone with no service. It was pretty decent actually, not one of the really bad ones. But damn nobody there understands a word of English, and knowing limited Spanish won't help one bit because Portuguese is not that close and the inflection doesn't help.
i would not start a fight. you will be fine if you dont look too affluent.
>That one guy who thinks dressing as a mormon pilgrim will save him from kidnapping and ransom.
Okay bro.
I dress as bart
no Latin American can harm the simpsons
....leave?
Anon if I'm in the favela that means I'm within walking distance of a big tit, big ass sweaty fiery poor favela latina that would become a fiercely loyal and protective wife if I got her out and treated her right.
I'm not leaving without getting some pussy first. Yes I understand and embrace the potential consequences.
And before anyone spergs out I'm not white, I'm ~~*white*~~ so absolutely nothing of value will be lost when I pump load after load into her cervix
hole up and wait for cinco de mayo when they are all drunk and distracted
I get up and walk away because real life isn’t some cringy mutt Hollyweird cowadoody fanfic.
Touch grass.
But anon, there are brown people there. Surely they want to tear my succulent white flesh from my bones like the animals they are?
I used to walk around Johannesburg to get to my school. I'll be fine.
You should have picked an actually dangerous place like Soweto or Alexandra.
grad rocket launcher vehicle
>What do you choose?
A classic 80s boombox with 12 fresh DD batteries blasting funk caroica at max volume.
>I'm a mutt
I can walk around complete barefoot with no shirt and no one would question me
I am Brazilian, I would just walk out
If you woke up in the favela, you probably walked in to begin with. What were you doing there?
Keltek PMR30 CCW
Silenced MAC 10.
I try to leave unnoticed.
If I feel like I'm being followed, I blast 'em.
This guy makes videos about that. Except he's having fun exploring. His videos on Cuba are interesting.
90% sure he's a glowie.
MP5SD. I'll probably try to conceal it and walk out without drawing attention. If I get shot at I'm fricked no matter what. I've died to that MW2 mission too many times to count.
I choose a chemistry set and prostitute myself out to the strongest drug cartel for protection
Machete. So I can escape with style.
>walk and avoid attention if possible
>if picking up heat, fire this up into the air then draw the attention of the general public around you
>disappear again
>buy a mango
>walk to the nearest airport while eating a mango
I've already been to the favelas of the Brazil, to the cities and villages, to the countryside.
Everywhere I went, there was no need to carry a weapon, or to "fight my way out" as I walked with Jesus Christ.
Brazilians are very serious about Jesus Christ, the hope and the light of all mankind.
Are suicide vests an option?
Why would I want to escape? I wake up in a place where I can buy all the drugs and booze and pussy I want? I'M HOME!
Cheap compact 1911.
Unless there's a war on I shouldn't need it if I just keep my head down, act chill and make it clear that I'm not American.
>Oh no, I might but probably wont get robbed on my way down the hill
>stop for a beer
>a local expresses mild concern and offers to drive me the rest of the way
favelas are pretty dangerous but not "actively trying to kill you at all times" dangerous. even if you look like a gringo you can walk out and just lose your wallet unless you get really unlucky
t. brazilian
I choose a wide-brimmed hat, a wallet, and a t-shirt that says, "I love Brazil". I proceed to find the nearest cab, and make my way to the airport or the embassy.
If this is not possible, I walk on foot, acting like a clueless, harmless tourist, and sticking to the closest approximation of a main road.
If I find any flocks of other tourists, I attach myself to them.
If some kind gentlemen approach me with propositions of monetary transactions, I accept, and walk away with lighter pockets but an unperforated torso.
Getting into a shootout, while undoubtedly highly badass, will either lead to you being merked by a bunch of gang members, or killed/captured by the authorities. And if you have mysteriously appeared in the middle of Latin America, with no proof of identity, no way of explaining how you got there(Which to them will clearly seem like a lie), and packing serious military grade hardware, the authorities will probably not consider you an unfortunate victim of teleportation. They will think you are a spy or a terrorist, and leave you to rot in a cell.
You do realise that poor people from other countries aren't just Fallout npcs programmed to become hostile if you get within a certain distance of them, right?
I follow the local customs
And then work my way up the favela hierarchy
Is that a troony or a chick with a big steroid jaw?
Like there’s a reason all the Brazilian porn star chicks have big clits.
Don’t need a weapon, carrying is a prime way to get into trouble. Just wear cheap stuff from the chink dollar store so you don’t get robbed and walk right out of the favela. Just stick to the larger roads and move at daytime.
Nothing. If I have nothing to take, nobody will try to rob me.
Meaning your anal virginity?
Synthol needles