I call cashing out, setting up shop in a tiny, unreachable island, and living there for 10 years raising a nice happy white family in peace, while you morons all die for israelites. Then ill come back and profit off the post war boom times. I'll make sure to fleece the families of fallen soldiers most.
Guess what? Counter-battery fire is almost always every arty team’s first priority the second they emplace, meaning you will likely be the first to die to… artillery. Very ironic.
I'm going to be a super professional drone pilot.
I will be sitting in a comfy office with a watercooler, safe inside a secret bunker 28 floors underground (like SGC) playing a real life version of a videogame guiding dolphin-sized darts stuffed with explosives towards vehicles and men alike.
These killstreaks will be reflected by the generous bonus pay for each noteworthy piece of equipment burned, to the point I will retire owning a microdistrict's worth of commieblocks to rent out as well as a personal helicopter and a potato factory. Probably even a watercloset.
Obviously my superior PC skills from years of typing shitposts and playing flappy bird on an emulator will finally pay off, clearly this is a high iq job just for me.
Somehow, half of the guys in the recruitment line queue said they'd be applying for the same role and even claimed to have the same aptitude but clearly they've been pulling my leg. They're no match for me.
While there was no role specified in the contract, the recruiter wrote something down in his notepad and assured me I will indeed be the drone pilot.
Our militaries wouldn't lie to us.
You’ll be in a trench, desperately clinging to your gun whilst a 200$ drone drops a grenade in between your legs.
Welcome to the horror show, it starts at the last bong
I'm going to be a prostitute who whispers into the ears of military men, women and trannies. Making them do my bidding.
Like a succubus or some shit.
I will leave a mark on them.
It will be a shit stain on their uniform.
i'll surrender as soon as possible and live like a neet in a prisoner of war camp for the duration of the war. they'll let us play videogames and watch anime knowing that half the nato conscripts would rather do that then fight for countries they know hate them.
maybe they'll let me help out by making propaganda videos showing what a good time we're all having in our prisoner of war funcamp to encourage more of us to surrender.
i will work my way up from a scout to an intel collector to an analyst to a strategist until i get bored and demand to be put on the front so i can earn my seat at valhalla (valhalla is a hipster gastro pub in D.C. that caters to limbless veterans)
A forward scout.
I'm good at evasion and intel collection. I can fly a quad rotor. I can read satellite imagery.
I already own drones, a spotting scope, camo and several pairs of hiking boots.
I'm a loner so this kind of thing is already built-in to my psyche and I've been doing it for 3 decades without realizing it.
nah bro they're just gonna send you to clear out a minefield under artillery fire. they don't care about your life story. just surrender with me we'll play smash brothers on the latest nintendo in a prisoner of war funcamp.
Here is the reality:
One day you receive a letter from the local Draft Board telling you that you have been drafted and that you are hereby ordered to report to the local induction center a week from today.
You will go on a rant about how the israelites can't make you fight in their war for globohomo, and how you would rather die, and if they show up at your front door you will just grab their guns and shoot them.
Mummy frowns but says nothing.
A week later and you have forgotten about the letter due to your TikTok fried brain's short attention span.
Mummy tells you that she read about a new train exhibit at the children's museum and ask you if you would like to go see it.
You, an autist, immediately say yes.
Mummy drives across town and pulls into the parking lot of a building you have never seen before. You see soldiers with guns wearing camouflage. >Sorry, my son, but it's time for you to grow up and become a productive member of society.
Oh no, mummy what have you done?!?
Two soldiers approach and open the car door and start to pull out out. >No worries, ma'am, we'll take it from here.
You start to struggle, and get a few quick jabs from the buttstock of their rifles. >The easy way or the hard way, bruv?
No more resistance.
You are processed and receive basic training. You never even see a loaded weapon or live ammo until you get dumped out of a truck into a trench on the front lines, when you are handed a worn out rifle and a magazine of ammo.
You quickly load it, and look around but there is no one to shoot other than some other scared, confused conscripts. You start introducing yourself and trying to think of a way to survive and escape the war.
You hear a buzz, and then the explosion of a $27 FPV kamikaze drone rips apart your legs and kills the other conscripts in the ditch. You slowly and painfully bleed to death over the next few hours.
The average life expectancy of a conscript in WW3 was less than 15 minutes after reaching the front lines.
>the $27 fpv drone drops a stack of leaflets advertising the prisoner of war funcamps now accepting all surrenders. a lone enemy rifleman approaches and we all lay down our arms and surrender. >they make us do some labour assembling things for the war but for the most part they know we're not their enemies and they let us play videogames or whatever they don't care. the food is ok but not great >at the end of the war some go home and some just assimilate somewhere into their new home country
I'm gonna be a sniper and just generally a fricking menace towards anyone who wants to hurt my family, me, or anyone who will stick with me like a brother. DON'T TREAD ON ME OR I WILL FRICKING KILL YOU.
My plan is to go north and raid empty summer cabins for cans of beans and hopefully get my hands on a shotgun or something since I live in Massachusetts where it's impossible to get a firearm. I'm pretty worried about my uncontrollable jock itch though once the pharmacies empty out. Guess I'll have to resort to slathering pine tar on my untamed pubes.
Latest stealth armor is double layered trashbags with a 50 foot breather tube to vent heat and control airflow.
It costs like 4 dollars plus labor to make, Just a heads up. Enjoy.
trash camo is perfectly fitting for camping Black personhomosexual snipers.
what about ur heat signal
Aluminium foil
Black person at least spend the $2 on a proper thermal emergency blanket.
Or steal one from a car's first aid kit.
Thanks anon, that explains why paddock had that blue tube in his room at mandaly bay.
I'm going to be tarred and feathered
I call cashing out, setting up shop in a tiny, unreachable island, and living there for 10 years raising a nice happy white family in peace, while you morons all die for israelites. Then ill come back and profit off the post war boom times. I'll make sure to fleece the families of fallen soldiers most.
artillery loader
comfy job, get jacked asap, relatively safe position
>artillery loader
>gets hernia
>hospital gets bombed
Guess what? Counter-battery fire is almost always every arty team’s first priority the second they emplace, meaning you will likely be the first to die to… artillery. Very ironic.
>CHOOSE YOUR ROLE
Basement dwelling NEET, not dying for zog sweaty
Watching it on telegram
I'm going to be a super professional drone pilot.
I will be sitting in a comfy office with a watercooler, safe inside a secret bunker 28 floors underground (like SGC) playing a real life version of a videogame guiding dolphin-sized darts stuffed with explosives towards vehicles and men alike.
These killstreaks will be reflected by the generous bonus pay for each noteworthy piece of equipment burned, to the point I will retire owning a microdistrict's worth of commieblocks to rent out as well as a personal helicopter and a potato factory. Probably even a watercloset.
Obviously my superior PC skills from years of typing shitposts and playing flappy bird on an emulator will finally pay off, clearly this is a high iq job just for me.
Somehow, half of the guys in the recruitment line queue said they'd be applying for the same role and even claimed to have the same aptitude but clearly they've been pulling my leg. They're no match for me.
While there was no role specified in the contract, the recruiter wrote something down in his notepad and assured me I will indeed be the drone pilot.
Our militaries wouldn't lie to us.
Would they?
I'm gonna be afk
I'm gonna be the guy that stays home and bangs all the widows
im going to be in a safe place with white women around while white men and their immigrants are fighting
You’ll be in a trench, desperately clinging to your gun whilst a 200$ drone drops a grenade in between your legs.
Welcome to the horror show, it starts at the last bong
When you're conscripted you'll be given shitty hand me down equipment and sent off to die to a $100 chinese drone dropping a grenade on you
Drone Operator
When I used to fug around in battlefield by smashing the mav into people, I did not expect that to be the future of warfare.
Can I get a Titan?
>israeli war profiteer lending to all warring parties.
Lmao, you will be a smouldering haunch of meat within the first 10 minutes of combat
I'm going to be a prostitute who whispers into the ears of military men, women and trannies. Making them do my bidding.
Like a succubus or some shit.
I will leave a mark on them.
It will be a shit stain on their uniform.
Ill be a cook.
Will you cook meth?
Frick your glowBlack person! I aint gonna fight for the likes. I’m gonna fight for myself and my people. And… I’m gonna kill you all!
Harr! I'll gonna be a pirate scavenging the seas once this clown show is over.
Nah you fricking nonce you will be canon fodder or loading boxes onto trucks all day.
i'll surrender as soon as possible and live like a neet in a prisoner of war camp for the duration of the war. they'll let us play videogames and watch anime knowing that half the nato conscripts would rather do that then fight for countries they know hate them.
maybe they'll let me help out by making propaganda videos showing what a good time we're all having in our prisoner of war funcamp to encourage more of us to surrender.
i will work my way up from a scout to an intel collector to an analyst to a strategist until i get bored and demand to be put on the front so i can earn my seat at valhalla (valhalla is a hipster gastro pub in D.C. that caters to limbless veterans)
A forward scout.
I'm good at evasion and intel collection. I can fly a quad rotor. I can read satellite imagery.
I already own drones, a spotting scope, camo and several pairs of hiking boots.
I'm a loner so this kind of thing is already built-in to my psyche and I've been doing it for 3 decades without realizing it.
nah bro they're just gonna send you to clear out a minefield under artillery fire. they don't care about your life story. just surrender with me we'll play smash brothers on the latest nintendo in a prisoner of war funcamp.
I've done worse jobs.
I'm going to trade SS109 and surplus pistols for sexual favors from formerly well to do house wives.
Insurgent.
I'm gonna be a hermit in the woods with a semi-automatic dmr and the love of the good lord.
I'm gonna be master chief
Wasteland vice dealer and general menace to the state.
captain of a private mercenary company
My role is sitting on the beach chair and watching from my phone whatever decision israelites have for you all
>Choose your role
Disqualified from the draft, being a comfy NEET.
>stealth armour.
ok, got ya down for 'armed on with a broomstick sent directly to the trench'
I'll be a spec ops cyberjew
I plan on hiding in the bush until the post collapse NWO hunter drones find me
infantry with the bros
Collateral causalty.
Kingpin, EF5 rank, of the Oklahoma frickyoursisters
Here is the reality:
One day you receive a letter from the local Draft Board telling you that you have been drafted and that you are hereby ordered to report to the local induction center a week from today.
You will go on a rant about how the israelites can't make you fight in their war for globohomo, and how you would rather die, and if they show up at your front door you will just grab their guns and shoot them.
Mummy frowns but says nothing.
A week later and you have forgotten about the letter due to your TikTok fried brain's short attention span.
Mummy tells you that she read about a new train exhibit at the children's museum and ask you if you would like to go see it.
You, an autist, immediately say yes.
Mummy drives across town and pulls into the parking lot of a building you have never seen before. You see soldiers with guns wearing camouflage.
>Sorry, my son, but it's time for you to grow up and become a productive member of society.
Oh no, mummy what have you done?!?
Two soldiers approach and open the car door and start to pull out out.
>No worries, ma'am, we'll take it from here.
You start to struggle, and get a few quick jabs from the buttstock of their rifles.
>The easy way or the hard way, bruv?
No more resistance.
You are processed and receive basic training. You never even see a loaded weapon or live ammo until you get dumped out of a truck into a trench on the front lines, when you are handed a worn out rifle and a magazine of ammo.
You quickly load it, and look around but there is no one to shoot other than some other scared, confused conscripts. You start introducing yourself and trying to think of a way to survive and escape the war.
You hear a buzz, and then the explosion of a $27 FPV kamikaze drone rips apart your legs and kills the other conscripts in the ditch. You slowly and painfully bleed to death over the next few hours.
The average life expectancy of a conscript in WW3 was less than 15 minutes after reaching the front lines.
>the $27 fpv drone drops a stack of leaflets advertising the prisoner of war funcamps now accepting all surrenders. a lone enemy rifleman approaches and we all lay down our arms and surrender.
>they make us do some labour assembling things for the war but for the most part they know we're not their enemies and they let us play videogames or whatever they don't care. the food is ok but not great
>at the end of the war some go home and some just assimilate somewhere into their new home country
My job will be keeping zogbot's and conscript's beds warm and their misses happy. Cheers for the houses, birds and cars c**ts lmao
for me, Einsatzgruppen
Back line breeder of your gf/wife/mom/sister. Its hard job but I will do it even if they are ugly. Thank me after she make you pay child support.
Juggernaut
war profiteer and cutie raper
i'm gonna be a ninja/commando with a pet wolf and a bangin hot redhead gf
sorry to hear about ur face
>WW3 CHOOSE YOUR ROLE
I don't see war I see opportunity
Ghetto_sniper_xXx
xxxgamerxxx
I’ll be torturing you for intel when you’re captured
Oh, so you're going to piss your pants in the trench and be 'naded, got it.
How does one see or shot web?
im just gonna keep wanking and shitposting until they drag me kicking and screaming from my desk.
Dirlewanger brigade
Draft Officer Annihilator
Just don’t bring your phone and you might actually survive your first attempt.
I think I’m going to have dual Desert Eagles…. In gold preferably… on my back I would have an ancient Katana, also in gold
War Criminal
T
Titanfall was so fricking good bros. Why wont they make 3? Apex is so zoomer stylized and gay
Pocket sand regiment
I'm gonna be a sniper and just generally a fricking menace towards anyone who wants to hurt my family, me, or anyone who will stick with me like a brother. DON'T TREAD ON ME OR I WILL FRICKING KILL YOU.
They'll be down there hurting your family while you hide in the bushes a mile away wondering why the curtains are drawn.
u are all stupid they are going to be looking for soldiers in camo
benchwarmer
I'm gonna drive around in my shitbox blaring Die When You Die by GG Allin while collecting unemployment
Foreskin trader
I will sacrifice myself and stay behind in the homeland so that I can uphold the population by impregnating your wives, sisters and daughters.
ahahaa ha ha... jinx. great minds think alike.
Good luck and godspeed, fellow trooper.
Prachtig
My role will be servicing widows at the home front, it's a dirty job but someone's got to do it.
Mark my words, the feds will shitcan Tinder, Bumble and every similar app within a week of a draft. You heard it here first.
They'll be shit canning internet access period. They don't want Reddit army reenactments.
>tfw 35
>too old to be drafted
>young enough for all these women to find attractive when all the men go to war
Feels good
A WW3 draft in the west will be ages 12 to 65. Limbs optional.
No you will die in a ditch like a cuck
neet journalist (wfh)
>latest stealth armour
So like an anti-IR blanky. Also have you heard of Ghillie suits? They work pretty good for visual stealth.
I'm going to be a grand wizard like my great great grandfather.
Nuclear blast victim. One of the ones that gets to die horribly from burns. Those lucky vapourized bastards won't know how good they had it.
last dude, and 60 iq top models and assorted titcows by the billions
>the latest stealth armour
>for infantry
It's currently a thermally reflective trashbag with a camo cloth over top.
Enjoy having to carry pounds of gear on your forehead or squint through a handheld monocular every 30 seconds.
I'm going to be a clown.
In other words no change.
Shit talker on the internet. Neetmaxxed so hard the State forgot I exist, so I don't get drafted.
SAA - Strategic Armchair Analyst
Combine Elite.
Trader
I wanna be a front-line heavy armored rapist.
I would do unspeakable things to our enemies...
MOS P69
R&R Penis Reliever
Cheer leader for NATO scum when they're running into machine gun fire.
I'm going to drown in pussy because I'm not going to die for gay Black folk in israel.
I call committing atrocities to lower enemy morale.
>Flamethrower Operator
You're going to be a fluffer you fricking homosexual.
>WW3 CHOOSE YOUR ROLE
Breeding bull for more troops
My plan is to go north and raid empty summer cabins for cans of beans and hopefully get my hands on a shotgun or something since I live in Massachusetts where it's impossible to get a firearm. I'm pretty worried about my uncontrollable jock itch though once the pharmacies empty out. Guess I'll have to resort to slathering pine tar on my untamed pubes.
Female zoomer ass licker, ill make sure none of your zoomer girls have a dry ass while you're over there fighting.
I'm going to be a super duper good goy and go die in some foreign land for absolutely no reason beyond profit. Hopefully they train me first.
Run a concentration camp.