>working on fence with dad
>he asks for a piece of tie wire
>cut him a piece I thought was appropriately long
>give him the wire, he laughs and asks if "I'm trying to save wire."
>proceeds to try and wrap it around post, barley making it fit before cutting it off and asking me to get the spool so he can cut his own piece
why are boomers so mean?
>dad takes me to go work on the car with him to "learn"
>just does everything himself not saying anything except swear words
Suck it up and enjoy the time. Someday your dad will be gone and you would give anything for another hour. RIP Dad. I still miss you.
>merely point out logical inconsistency
>goes hardsappy mode
ok dude
If dad wants to be missed or get help he should stop being such a c**t
Suck it up and enjoy the time. Someday election tourists will be gone and you would give anything for another hour. RIP moot. I still miss you.
implying.
>cars are now totally different and the thousands of hours spent on 90s cars is worthless
Just get a 90s car to wrench on
Had all these experiences as a kid. Also had an uncle that used us as cheap child labor. I hated getting drafted into some stupid “help me move this giant metal thing that will crush your foot if anyone fricks up”.
I understand them much better now that I’m in my 40s and have kids. I can better see how they were raised and how it affected them. They are still annoying as frick, I hate to say this but I haven’t really missed any of them after their deaths.
>children are meant to be seen not heard
>just do what I tell you. I need strong backs and weak minds.
>always greets me with an insult and a laugh and a too hard slap on the shoulder or whatever
>proud that he used an electric car incentive loophole to buy himself a free golf cart
>never calls 811 before digging. Rented backhoe tore through some data line “that shouldn’t be on my property”. Pays some guy he knows $500 to come fix it.
>is only depressed when he can’t be working from injury. Can never stop. Channels a lifetime of rage and confusion into working constantly.
There is a sad irony that they worked to raise us more self aware, and mostly what we noticed is how fricked up they are.
I’m Grateful for all the handyman stuff I learned from my dad. I do that with my son, but with a lot less screaming and hitting. I let him be involved with more interesting parts of the project, not just shit work. I let him make mistakes on his own, while I’m there to guide him. Who knows if it’ll Work out better or worse. He’ll probably crumble the first time someone freaks out screaming at him. That shit doesn’t even phase me. Being yelled at actually releases some weird dopamine thing where I get very calm and focused because I know danger is imminent. I also don’t panic when confronted with something extreme. Like someone pulling a gun on me, or being in a car accident.
Jxmgpo
I'm the same way, any sort of situation only makes me more focused. Honestly it's kind of a super power in many areas of life, most people do not seem to be this way and just shutdown. It does often make me wonder how best to rear.
Seems you went through boot camp before you were 18
I had the same experience with my wood framing boss. I had a year and a half of getting yelled at and hustling, and now everything else seems diminished in intensity. I kind of knew that framing would be the hardest thing I would ever do, so desensitizing myself to stress was on purpose
>Being yelled at actually releases some weird dopamine thing where I get very calm and focused because I know danger is imminent. I also don’t panic when confronted with something extreme. Like someone pulling a gun on me, or being in a car accident.
I think that's just called being a man.
It’s a mixed bag. Many benefits, but many downsides. Constant vigilance takes its emotional toll. Hard to self motive unless fear is involved. Also was molested as a kid so have this weird sexual dynamic with any male bosses, that I really wish didn’t exist. The worse they treat me, the harder I work, and I have sexual fantasies about. Being degraded by them.
On the other hand, never panic when mugged, or in fight ( u til later ). Always the first to grab the fire extinguisher or towel to wrap around an injury. Can take command of a small group of people in a crisis by bellowing orders that they instinctively follow.
But hey all we can do it try and raise our kids better.
>proud that he used an electric car incentive loophole to buy himself a free golf cart
Based
Don't be embarrassed bro nobody is born knowing how to do stuff. Next time you'll know what to do.
>Sorry, the dumb c**t that ordered the wire didn't write anything down about length and the shop isn't full of mind readers
This tbh or ask him for the keys to the time machine and if he can't find them tell him to stop whining like a fricking toddler
>working with dad
>he needs a tool
>just extends his hand and squeezes as if I already know which tool he needs, sometimes calls tools by completely different names
>gets annoyed when I don't know what he's asking for
>Dad under kitchen sink tells me to hand him the channellocks
>Search through tool box
>He owned a pair of channellock brand wire cutters
>Flips his shit when I give them to him
>Walks over and picks up a pair of stanley tongue and groove pliers
>Yells "these are channellocks!"
>Tell him they say stanley and what I gave him says channellock in a very confused manner
>Calls me a smart ass and says to just leave because doing it himself will be easier
>Now 15 years later I have to ask PrepHole for help with everything
Yeah...
no big deal anon. lots of dads wish they had a son. Don't take it personally.
Eh this is both your fault. I learned my trade from a crusty old fart, he didn't want me to learn, just be his helper. I started skipping breaks while he smoked so I could get a few mins on the machines, I took notes on all the products he used, which he relabelled to random names. I had to ask him to clean the truck so I could sneak the names of the compounds from him. I'd jot down the time he spent on each section of flooring, where he bought his supplies etc. I then took all that knowledge and brought it to another company so I could properly learn how to manage a crew, which I did. Started a business shortly after and now I'm killing it.
Not really that bad, no one is perfect. In general I wouldn't disagree.
The wars of the 20th century took an incredible toll on people that hasn't even been analyzed and is far too late to address. Just figure, all the brave good strong men went to world War 1 and died. Then that happened again in world War 2. At least Korea and Vietnam were small. And the men and women that remained had ptsd and we didn't even know what it was, granddad just drank and smoke a lot and never talked about the war so much its a joke.
How fricked up were the kids of these buttholes?
>asks me to hold something
>hold it
>he turns his attention to something else
>turns and asks "are you just gonna stand there all day?"
>working on fence with dad
>why are boomers so mean?
Your dad is old enough to retire. Why aren't you fixing the fence with someone half your age? Did he get your mom pregnant when he was 50 or something?
he enjoys working
I get that, my dad is 68 and still gardens and tractors like daily. I love me some yard work
>Building fence with Grandfather
>Nailing the boards up
>Not good with a hammer
>Keep missing the nails when I swing
"If there were any more wings on it, it would fly away"
I miss my dad and construction bosses giving me shit
>sorry, no one showed me the right way to do it
>Father is a cheap frick who has 40 year old piece of shit tools and a cordless drill that has no power
kek my dad and I know enough about each other that we avoid working together at all costs. He shouts at me because he wants it his way, I shout back at him because I'm actually the tradesman and I want it my way (the proper way)
Kek, that reminds me of my grandpa
>Helping my grandfather to install an electric boiler for his house.
>hey grandpa this is not the model you're were suppose to bought, this is 110v you had to buy the one that was 220v,
>yes I know but this cost a third less than the other one
>well now you are going to spend it on a thicker wire or it will consume more current than the wire can handle (2855w on a 12 gauge stranded wire)
>nah just use the same wire
>it's going to overheat and you're going to have a fire in a few months and we're going to have to rewire everything if you still have a house left.
>Ok then...
I went to home depot and change the boiler for the 220v, he is a good man just a little penny pincher
Grandpa just wants to use the ol israeli fire insurance scam
My grandfather legit fire scammed a truck to get a new one due to engine and electrical issues. Also taught me about the ole backroads avoiding a deer to total a car properly. Crazy bastards
Well he just taught you a valuable lesson, it is always better to cut more wire than you think you need than the exact amount. This goes double for house wiring, always leave a few metres on your runs rather than the bare minimum so that if that if you have to change anything in the future you've got some length to play
>working on lawnmower
>put new belt
>too long, rubs on tensioner
>dad: just leave it there it'll rub itself out
>try running and runs even worse than it looks
>remove and take it back to the shop to get a size smaller
Why did you cu the wire too short?
I didn't think I did
That's your problem.
Am I missing something? What did papa do that was unreasonable here? Isn't that how every angry male in the middle of construction would act if a "blockhead" brings them back the wrong shit?
>dad who i as a kid thought was smart actually just winged everything he did or did it half-assed yet somehow seemed to come out ahead more often than not and everything he "taught" me actually has little to no value
i became an electrician and when i inherited his summer cabin that was his DIY project and started going through his electrical work i swear its a fricking miracle we didnt die in a fire as kids in that cabin
>i swear its a fricking miracle we didnt die in a fire as kids in that cabin
you electrocians are all the same & think you're God's gift to mankind.
We are. You can use candles. Buy one of those Chinese solar phone chargers that take 3 days to charge a phone.
>be child
>EE turned manager dad screams at me after asking for my help fixing car/aircon/fridge
>grow up and become hardware engineer
>design stuff all by myself at a startup
>often talk with dad about work
>he tries to warn me and inform me about the kind of stuff interns and univ students would have trouble with
Damn its a nice feel to know that you're more knowledgeable at some things than your dad but always remember to respect his experience. Also share experience and knowledge, they're the best topics to talk about with technologically or PrepHole inclined dads
>dad and grandpa love fixing old electronics
>i abhor it, and instead design fun gizmos and design stuff for 3D printing
How do you guys deal with being the black sheep?
>was a heroin addict in my 20s
>will never take over the law firm
The trick is to fail so spectacularly that they are just happy you are still alive. Give them some grandkids, which they can ignore, but at least now you have something you can talk about while they remind you how hard they tried to raise you right, and how you hated them for it, but now you’ll see. Or whatever. At least they are generous paying for stuff for the grandkids. I thought they’d want to spend time with them, but they don’t really. I guess I’m supposed to put them into competitive sports so they can get a scholarship. Oh and chess. Because there are so many soccer and chess scholarships out there.
It always irritates me that my mother who was an overachiever was the black sheep to my uncle who was a deadbeat dad and a drunk. And I was the overachiever grandkid and my oldest cousin (the son of the uncle) was a heroin addict and felon.
That shit gave my mother a really weird complex
My dad has never fixed anything in his entire life. Not exaggerating.
>trying to rewire electric guitar that has no wiring, by looking at a working one
>he tries to help because he thinks he understands for some reason
>ask why it looks like the working one is missing a wire (turns out its shielded wire)
>he gives advice "there's no logic to it, just try hooking everything up randomly"
>lights his cig on my soldering iron and leaves the room
>Lights his cig on my soldering iron and leaves the room
Fricking kek
completing my first year mechanic apprentice at a refinery and I am just biding my time and holding my tongue, being helpful and keeping my mouth shut but god damn. Sometimes I wonder 'why dont they just do X'? while the boomers training me are attempting to fix something and after a day of monkeying around wind up doing the thing I was thinking. It's not my place to suggest shit to guys that have been doing this for years but they waste so much god damn time doing stuff the old way or the way they are used to. I think partly they are milking the overtime but sometimes they do some shit so slow without even getting overtime. Its exhausting but every day I keep what I can in my head and just count the days.
Pretending like you don't know what you're doing, then eventually "figuring it out", is the way most people get through an hourly job.
No, most people have no idea what they're doing.
How do people not understand physical problems? You just see what the problem is, see the reaction it's causing, mentally plan out what would happen bit-by-bit if you performed some solution to it, and eventually fix it.
Some people can't reason
This happens in construction with certain superintendents and its even worse because the super winds up wasting tens of thousands of dollars and weeks instead of just a day of payroll here and there
Insist people be specific, don't guess.
>why are boomers so mean?
are you 40?
kick his ass to establish dominance
>dad 'teaching' me how to drive
>no explanations
>no parking lots
>just get in the car and start driving on the roads
>alternates between screaming and sarcastic remarks for every infraction or hesitation
>no idea wtf im doing
>nothing was learned, put off getting my license
This about sums up my childhood, nothing was taught, just yelled at or made fun of not knowing. Pretty sure he expected me to just be a clone or automaton that just knew and could do everything with no effort on his part. Now that I think of it, I really didn't have much support growing up. Distrustful, selfish, and immune to verbal abuse now.
>dad never teaches me anything because he is incapable of saying more than 5 words a year to his family
>I'm not a moron and have an aversion to asking anyone for anything so I learn how to do everything by myself
>now I have to ask my dad to gtfo of the way when my parents ask for help doing anything
Man you guys are queers.
Have a cousin who has three boys. All rough and tumble football players. For the third one, he had been reading about the gays, and his church group believed if you show the child enough appropriate affection from the father, the boy will not be gay. So he really focused on that, and told us about all the time.
No shit, kid turns out to some sort of sociopath. Like he’s super nice and laughs and stuff and is friendly, but they had to put in all this work with him. Maybe he was killing animals or something.
True story he now works on Wall Street. Doing great.
nta but I'm probably an undiagnosed pseudo-sociopath, or at least that's what people tell me when I get more honest than normal. I think sociopathy to the commoner is just having less than socially appropriate empathy for others. Modern society has been so conditioned to abhor this difference in humanitarianism that they immediately jump to sociopathy, when they don't realize that "sociopaths" have probably been extremely fundamental to creating the world we live in. There must have been a good amount of us around serving as lifelong soldiers/warriors/mercenaries/assassins in the past
>patting yourself on the back for being the tyrants executioner
Stop stealing my bread.
Stop having good bread and I wont
>he thinks sociopaths are only the executioners and not also the tyrants
Babby's first history lesson
>why are boomers so mean?
why are you so incompetent?
>my dad was a pre boomer (born just before WWII)
>works on car
>I help him
>explains things and shows me what to do
>never once yells at me
>never mocks or berates me
>never worked on anything with dad cause he literally didn't know how to do anything and he never worked on anything ever
and he is a massive douche too, so even though it sucks that he didn't teach me anything but at least i didn't have to deal with his attitude as much
my father died when I was little, but my grandfather tried to teach me things. Unfortunately my adhd brain couldn't pay attention to save my life and all I wanted to do was go back inside and play video games. As a result he stopped trying and just did everything himself.
Well now that he's gone, if I need to do something I have to look it up on youtube. Imagine how that feels, looking up a simple task because I never learned how to do it.
what do you need tie wire on a fence for. Nail those posts in
Where I'm at in oklahoma cattle country, nobody uses wood post fencing anymore. It's all barbed wire on steel T-post, and you tie the wire to the post with these pre-bent wire fencing tie thingies. Wood post fencing is seen as something bougies living on the edge of town do because it looks cute or some shit
idk wood posts seem more functional to me. Can't just easily cut through with plyers. I guess both have trade-offs. Chainlink is see through which has advantages and disadvantages I guess.
>why are boomers so mean?
your the next boomer.
>Work for contractor out of college.
>meanest boss I’ve ever had
>would regularly yell at you for not knowing something
>instructions would sometimes consist of “PUT THE DEAL IN THE THING!!”
>would rage if you didn’t immediately know what the was talking about
God damn he was an butthole but I’m glad I stuck with him. He taught me a lot. He told me about workers who showed up to work for him while he was on a roofing job that left at lunch and never came back. He laughed because he got 4 hours of free work out of them. He would also say things like “There’s the right way to do it, the wrong way to do it, and my way to do it. Do it my way.”
>Dad is a steel framer
>Go to his job on the weekend a few years back, 25 or so at this point
>He wants me to cut some metal in a crescent shape but I fricking blow
>He does it himself so easily
>Doesn't mock me or anything but I feel bad anyways
My pop was kinda like that. He'd laugh at worst, maybe crack a ribbing joke, as long as I actually tried it generally was okay to frick up. Until I started working for him and it was customers vehicles I'd frick up on. Partially because he's got a reputation for never fricking anything up ever so if you do, it's gotta get fixed before the promised time of job completion anyway and he's not billing for it so now he's gotta get clever. Still never called me names for it or anything I think he mostly blamed himself for not keeping an eye on me when outside my skill zone. However, I know why because he also gets annoyed at my ill practiced hands and ends up doing the work for me every time he tried to watch my struggles. I learned quickly enough though we work great together when we do, course I left his practice to make my own path and bought my own house so that's generally only on weekends now and not enough of them honestly I really enjoy it.
>Dad works on car and needs your help
>Tells you to hold the flash light
>Trying to watch what he's doing
>"Boy if you don't keep that light on me I'm gonna pop you in the mouth"
>Now has same anger for anyone who can't hold the light
I worked with him a couple of month doing concrete so that's about it. He never really teached me anything, but I was a dumb kid that only wanted to play videogames.
You need thicker skin dude. You were probably just standing there doing nothing but holding the wire. Did you bother to try and help stretch the fence so he could cut his own damn wire? Take some initiative. My 8 year old, the hindrance he can be while I'm try to get shit done, would have been trying to help stretch the fence. And I would've give him shit too if he'd cut a short piece of wire. The difference is, it would've bounced off him. I'm trying to raise him so that in the future, when he has an butthole boss or co-worker, he can deal with it without having to cry to HR or some shit. His older brother is a different story. He spent too much time around his older sisters. He's too sensitive. If other kids shit talk to him, he comes crying to me. I've been easing in the jabs with him so he doesn't get all butt hurt instantly and He's starting to come around and throw them back. He's smart and getting quick with them now. And I like it.
Maybe next time actually help your dad instead of standing there holding the wire like a piece of furniture. When he says "you trying to save wire?" Say something about him being a cheap ass, or you don't want to have to buy more and cut into your profit...definitely if you know you're not getting paid. Anything to show him you actually have balls and can stand up for yourself.
It wasn't until I had kids that I understood what all the shit my dad did or said was for. A man's job, as a father, is to raise his child to be self sufficient, knowledgeable, problem solving, whatever so they they can go out in life and make their own way.
It's the same way women shit test men, dad's shit test their kids. They also shit test their kids to see if they are doing their job as a father. He's not being mean even though it feels like it. It's a test. Pass it next time.
kids just do without thinking, adults are more scared of messing something up.
Based. Also, specifically with assisting people taking that initiative means paying attention to what's going on so that ideally you are ready with whatever tool or length of wire or whatever is necessary before even being asked or needing detailed direction. Even if you have to ask that's far preferable to guessing wrong and having to be corrected.
IOW stringing up a fence or handing someone tools when installing a ceiling lamp or whatever isn't a journey into the mysteries of the universe where anything might happen so you cant be blamed for not knowing what happens next, it's a process that isn't too hard to follow or learn the parameters of. The fact that some "helper" can't be bothered to observe and absorb that process quickly just pre-loads the situation with frustration, or more accurately more frustration than is already inherent to processes that require more than one person involved.
If anyone in this thread hasn't seen the Michael Jordan/Chicago Bulls documentary "the last dance", it's great, probably even if you aren't a fan. It's on Netflix and perhaps elsewhere.
I bring that up because at one point his dad tells about how when MJ was a kid and dad was fixing something and asked for the phillps, MJ might hand him a file, or something similarly stupid, so he'd send him in the house, whereas Michael's brother was a good helper. We all have our talents, I suppose.
If it ask for a screwdriver and my kid hands me a file he clearly doesn't want to be there, so sure sending mj away is correct
>cry to HR or some shit
That's for HR is for. Why do I have to "deal" with an butthole if I cannot kick his ass and I don't want to quit? Yes, report him and have him fired.
Anon, I believe he thought OP was male.
However, if someone says something dry and smartass to you, you just jump to either kicking their ass or going to HR trying to get them fired? Were you raised by a single mother?
"dry and smartass" is subjective. I guess you could just bounce it right back at them but it is not as simple. what if that's your boss who loves dishing it out but can't take it, especially from his subordinates. chances are he will fire you or report you out of spite, you never know. also, ignoring insults is a cuck behavior IMHO. you are just pretending that you have "thick skin" but let's be honest, nobody likes getting insulted or yelled at by buttholes. of course all of that is subjective. surely some people overreact to friendly banter. but then there are some who truly feel hurt but will pretend that it doesn't bother them because complaining can be seen as a sign of weakness. you can argue that you just need to grow a thicker skin. but then there are people who just won't take shit from no one. of course if you cannot change jobs or if you work in trades where almost everone is an butthole then you either need to change your career or learn to be one of those cucks who pretend that "words don't hurt them". it is like one of those people who claim that they are gratetful to their abusive parents "because that was the only way to straighten me up and that taught me a lot" or some bullshit like that.
Nta but that's bs. People's words do not hurt me. You only think we don't exist because you lack empathy, you're entirely self centered and so nobody could possibly function differently. Either what they critique of me is true, or it's not. If it's true, make changes, if it's not, don't. If it's true, it hurts me just as much whether you say it mean, or jovial, because what hurts is being wrong not the words. Only difference is jovial may illicit laughter from myself. However that laughter does not make it not hurt. If it's not true, I might laugh if it's a joke, for example a friend calls you a homosexual, or simply ignore/be puzzled by it. For example, ops dad even did critique the mistake with a joke, of course he's not trying to save wire. He cut it short, oh well, now you know. If that's enough to make you cry I don't want to be around you. May as well freak out and flip the table any time you lose a board game, nobody wants that person around. Wah! It hurts! We know, you learned something, now get over it
>a friend calls you a homosexual
pff, that's what i referred to as "friendly banter". i play sports in various beer leagues and that's standard locker room talk. the big difference is, those are your friends or otherwise people that you have known for a while (and in sports your true personality gets exposed very quickly), and you know that's part of the culture and nobody gets offended by that.
now, compare with a situation at work where some random hostile dude yells at you and calls you names in a situation described by the OP but taken to the extreme.
so imagine you made a minor mistake and he's screaming at you at the top of his lungs "HOW MANY TIMES SHOULD I TELL YOU SHIT FOR BRAIN DON'T FRICKING DO THAT OR I WILL FIRE YOUR ASS YOU STUPID SON OF A prostitute". what are you going to do? are you sure you can just brush it off? are you going to confront the dude or swallow your pride and pretend that it didn't affect you at all and that's just part of a "learning experience"?
>nobody gets offended by that.
Just don't plan on ever getting a "normal" job or some butthole will pull out a 10 year old video and ruin your life. Or maybe not; pic related managed to keep his coaching job after saying gay, but then it is West Virginia.
>friendly banter
if somebody called me a homosexual while at work I'd knock their head off of their shoulders.
calling someone a homosexual isn't banter, it's just disrespect
yea ok homosexual
>I WILL FIRE YOUR ASS
If we exclude that then no it wouldn't effect me at all.
Not every company has an HR department to complain to. I've never worked anywhere that had one. My dad had me working side jobs with him, that sucked ass. Then summers starting at 15. I worked with a lot of buttholes-my dad was their foreman- they talked a lot of shit. I think the point of all of that was so I would get a good education and not work a trade. I have a great education that stopped after HS. Most things I know now are self taught. Still work in trades, but now a contractor with my own business. Maybe not the way my dad envisioned it, he sent me to a private prep school, but I surpassed him in his field. My dad was a hard ass growing up, and I couldn't wait to move out. Now we get along, can hang out and drink a few beers together and even work together when he sends me work.
Anon, hr exists to keep the company from losing money. If you complain to them you become a squeaky wheel which is going to be fired for bullshit asap
I remember doing the oil change on my first car. I bought 1 quart of oil and asked for my dad's help.
worked construction with my older brother, he was super hands off as far as teaching me and i had a drinking problem at the time so i wasnt able to concentrate much, plus something about working with my brother made me go into like a "kid mode" where i was never really able to take initiative. I constantly fricked shit up, you never get over the feeling of someone being disappointed in you.