What does it mean to be happy? How do you know? Why should you be happy? Is it even possible, or is it just an unreachable ideal that only serves to frustrate you? Perhaps if you let go of the idea that you must find "happiness", you would find your burdens to be fewer
Because otherwise he is sad. Its actually quite simple, and people often misinterperet camus. Camus isnt saying that the mythical sisyphus was actually happy. He is saying that with an absurdist philosophy even sisyphus, in his terrible situtation, could be happy.
Stop complying. Stop complying with rules, laws, and expectations. Just don't comply.
You will then be more free than you've ever been in your life. Eventually groups of men will try to kill you for being too free. You may die, but when you are truly free you will be truly happy
You'll be incredibly afraid of death. Similar to what prior anon said.
You'll be incredibly afraid, because you have been programmed to comply. And moving against your programming is designed to elicit that fear. My suggestion is to seek rather calm things that induce a fear reaction or resistance. Don't jump off mountains in search of endorphins, cheap highs. That's not overcoming your fears. It's a distraction.
Stop complying. Stop complying with rules, laws, and expectations. Just don't comply.
You will then be more free than you've ever been in your life. Eventually groups of men will try to kill you for being too free. You may die, but when you are truly free you will be truly happy
I wasn't happy until I had kids but then my wife when full moron so my happiness was very short lived. I'm still happy mind but for every bit of happiness my wife makes two of misery.
>I wasn't happy until I had kids but then my wife when full moron so my happiness was very short lived. I'm still happy mind but for every bit of happiness my wife makes two of misery.
Sad. Many such cases.
I swear most women can't stand it when shit is going right and have to throw a monkey wrench in the gears to cause misery. Some are definitely worse about this than others, but they all do it to some extent.
You’re hearing one side of the story anon. I’ve been married to a toxic woman and I’ve been married to a healthy one (now). I took my baggage and bullshit into both and I had to do as much changing as my now healthy wife did. I can’t say if anon is talking his own inventory or not. I’m just saying people often blame others without looking at their parts.
This is definitely true. I also was previously married to a completely toxic woman and have a good one now. When my current wife gets b***hy there is often a good reason for it. At the time it might seem ridiculous, but in hindsight she usually has a good point to make and i have some adjustments to make.
Tldr. Took my wife out for a date last night because she was feeling a bit neglected and rightfully so. I get way too wrapped up and hyper focused on getting stuff done around the farm and never stop to do anything fun with her. It was the first time we had gone to a bar in over 10 years...
>method to being happy?
not worrying about the future.
as a kid it happens naturally, you either don't care, or your idea about the future is so naively optimistic.
as you grow up you need to find something to keep yourself occupied. after all it's why we're here, isn't it?
Avoid regular use of psychoactive drugs. Eat consistently and well. Sleep well in a regular schedule. Go outside and expose yourself to sunlight. Exercise regularly. Have positive social interactions that fit your inclinations. Have a place you can call your own, and take care of it such that you would be proud if others see it. Learn new things. Maintain desirable relationships with family, friends, and neighbors. Have a long-term romantic partner whom you can trust. Develop skills which are useful to yourself and others. Be a productive member of your community. Help others become better in your areas of expertise. Produce economic value sufficient to meet your needs without concern and to support others. Lead others. Have children with your long-term romantic partner, and raise them to be upstanding people. Reflect upon your ideals, values, goals, character, etc. and develop a personal ethos. Become your ideal self. Pass responsibilities to others as they become worthy. Come to terms with mortality. Ensure that your legacy will continue to benefit the world. Prepare your affairs and loved ones for your absence.
Well, we have to end apartheid for one. And slow down the nuclear arms race, stop terrorism and world hunger. We have to provide food and shelter for the homeless, and oppose racial discrimination and promote civil rights, while also promoting equal rights for women. We have to encourage a return to traditional moral values. Most importantly, we have to promote general social concern and less materialism in young people.
I knocked out the orange one and everything else crumbled. Fricking sucks bros, now I’m rebuilding and it’s taking its time, but I see a nice path ahead
this hierarchy is flawed because it doesn't account for millions of lonely people in the first world who seem to jump right to the top but totally miss on love, friends, intimacy
hmm alcohol it is a depressant, your body strives for homostasis so the up swing is higher, unfortunately the lowered inhabitions during intoxication increase motivation.
I would think mad is better goal than happy, the adjectives for mad have better connotations than happy
I went out to see the grand canyon and instead of paying their ridiculous price for a tour I went down some side road with a little trail that lead out to a nice view of part of the canyon with no people. That made me happy for a bit, might work for you.
This.
The satisfaction from fixing/making something yourself can't be underestimated
not OP, but Ive been a hands on tech for 16 years (and doing hobby stuff for like 30) but my last job fricked both my thumbs (was only doing this job for 6 months) and now using my hands is extremely painful. so far ive gotten zero compensation for it. what do?
docs wont even give me pain killers. im thinking of either threatening to start doing heroin so theyll give me some, or actually doing it then telling them id rather use opiates under a Dr supervision and they can stop this.
the choices for surgery are all, not great. the joints near the tips of my thumbs can be fused, so i can no longer bend the tips. as far the base of the thumbs where the bulk of the injury is, they remove this bone so hopefully bone-on-bone rubbing stop and therefore the pain stops. but this surgery is incredibly invasive and involves 6 months recovery and i think an additional like 6 months of PT,
Im so fricking depressed.
pic related is the bone they pull out in the hopes that it will stop the pain. but they dont typically do this to people under the age of 60 (im 40). i dont even know what itd be like working after this.
Dr John e sarno the mindbody prescription. Check out the book and read testimonies from those who have before considering either medicating constantly forever or surgery.
I hope you get well soon anon, chronic pain that prevents you from your only hobbies is horrible I know firsthand
Personnaly I'm building (struggling) my own tank from my own imagination and everything DIY
It help me face the deep loneliness I face and show the skills I have
>“Don’t get depressed. When you get depressed you neglect everything else in your life that gives you happiness. When it’s gone you’ll really have something to be depressed about” - Some old neighbor
There are certain things that make me happy but overall I’m a pretty miserable person. Even while miserable I try to maintain the maslows pyramid so it doesn’t fall over. Then I go do things that make me happy and that carries over for a while
Just stop giving a shit. As the first pennies said "mind your business". Stop worrying about shit that is outside of your control. Shit going on in DC that you have no say in? Dont worry about it. prostitutes ruining an entire generation and you cant stop all of them? Dont worry about it.
Your biggest concern is paying your bills and not becoming homeless, everything else is extra. Once youve fully detached from that which you have no control over and embraced what you can control, then all the little things become more pleasant.
It's a subtle kind of joy to be secure and un-frickwithable, a fleeting pleasure to have all of your shit in order.
The first step is to take accountability for yourself, FULL accountability.
Your mom didnt love you? Well thats your fault for being unloveable, do better.
Its never good enough? thats your fault for not being good enough, do better.
The purpose of this is to condition yourself into assuming control of your own life. All the bad in life may not have been your fault, but if you take accountability for it, it was my fault, then that sets a precedence for you to be in control and to not let anyone frick with you anymore, because again, youre in control, youre the man of the house, youre the captain of the ship. Shit doesnt happen unless YOU want it to.
Once you have total control over your life and situation, happiness is but a matter of being pleased with your position and possessions.
>The first step is to take accountability for yourself, FULL accountability. >Your mom didnt love you? Well thats your fault for being unloveable, do better. >It’s never good enough? thats your fault for not being good enough, do better. >it’s all my fault
This is really sad codependent thinking anon. It’s pretty common in people that were raised in abusive homes.
I think he's trying to explain radical ownership, which works for most people, but as you point out coming from an abusive or toxic family of origin kind of skews the idea. I'm struggling with this in that there are many things in my adult life that are not my fault but are my responsibility - balanced against an emotionally abusive upbringing that is not my responsibility beyond trying to heal.
>The first step is to take accountability for yourself, FULL accountability. >Your mom didnt love you? Well thats your fault for being unloveable, do better. >It’s never good enough? thats your fault for not being good enough, do better. >it’s all my fault
This is really sad codependent thinking anon. It’s pretty common in people that were raised in abusive homes.
Man, my ex must’ve been hella abusive because this is exactly how I think. How do I stop that? I don’t date or even talk to women anymore because I still don’t see myself as good enough for anyone/anything
I doubt you learned that thinking from your ex. It’s been my experience that we form these patterns in childhood, then find ourselves in the orbit of abusers and of course we become abusers in our own way. We rarely see that part though.
As far as how to change, that requires rewiring your thinking. It takes time and perseverance. There are many paths to this. Therapy of different kinds, journaling, positive reinforcement by reframing your thoughts and speech about yourself. I’ve changed immensely and it’s been a winding path - Internal Family Systems therapy, talk therapy, AA and AL-ANON, journaling, meditation, reading books on change through Buddhism/Taoism. It’s been a long road but I’m really starting to see results. It takes time and you have to stick with it. We didn’t learn these things overnight so they won’t be cured overnight either.
4 months ago
Anonymous
I was with her for 10 years from 17~27. My parents were very loving, but my father cheated on my mother when I was 18 and in college and destroyed a lot of trust in someone that I had full faith in. Then my mother killed herself, or accidentally overdosed… Then my ex cheated on me, but the whole time after my mother’s death was hard on her and myself. I cut off my family, and was insanely depressed, she was my whole world and would tell me for 3 years that she wasn’t sure if she ever loved me.
I internalized that, we broke up 2 years ago and all those negative conversations kept replaying in my head, all the bad shit, everything I was doing wrong.
We recently talked and even while talking to her she said ‘you’re blaming yourself so much’ and i was like, no shit bro, I ruined everything..
when you do something new, you remember the experience. when you do repatative stuff, you dont really remember it.
when youre a baby and a child and a teen, most everything is new and youre always exploring life and remembering those new experiences. as an adult you may end up at the same job for years with a repatitive routine and youre never really doing anything new so that time flies by super fast.
if you keep going new places and meeting new people and learning new things, you will remember much more of the time you spent alive and thus will have a longer life.
Since i've started driving i've started getting more invested in the church I attend recently. This makes me happier.
I work two out of three weekends so was only able to go once every three weeks, the time inbetween each visit would often cause a lapse and cascade downwards in my mood. Now I attend divine liturgy every sunday which makes me feel better. Not really sure how I can put it into words and do it justice, bit of a mystery.
Find something to look forward to anon, this is key. I hope you had a good new year.
Working and and getting jacked, joked, stacked, succulent muscles made me happy. Abstaining from shitty stimulation like porn, the internet, and especially alcohol and drugs will make you happier every day. Doing a job that you find meaningful even if the meaning is just what you spend the money on.
Hard work and the fruits of your labor, but they have to be intertwined. Don't just assume that working your ass off to make your boss a nice bonus is the same as working for yourself at the same price. Don't assume working for yourself means you'll live comfortably with a safe home and loving family.
Build a home (home, not necessarily a house) for yourself, work to bring the rest of the "happy things" to fill that place in time.
If you want happiness and there are things you would like to get out of your one and only lifespan, you have to make it happen yourself.
All that said,
What does it mean to be happy? How do you know? Why should you be happy? Is it even possible, or is it just an unreachable ideal that only serves to frustrate you? Perhaps if you let go of the idea that you must find "happiness", you would find your burdens to be fewer
One must imagine Sisyphus happy.
>One must imagine Sisyphus happy.
One must imagine the hippies happy (but not the yuppies)
y tho?
It's a quote from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Myth_of_Sisyphus which is a well-known absurdist/existentialist philosophy book.
Because otherwise he is sad. Its actually quite simple, and people often misinterperet camus. Camus isnt saying that the mythical sisyphus was actually happy. He is saying that with an absurdist philosophy even sisyphus, in his terrible situtation, could be happy.
True. If you cant be happy doing the daily struggles of life, then you will never be happy.
Basically embrace the suck.
Syphilis didn't make me happy
physical exercise. It's very effective. at least in the short term.
Stop complying. Stop complying with rules, laws, and expectations. Just don't comply.
You will then be more free than you've ever been in your life. Eventually groups of men will try to kill you for being too free. You may die, but when you are truly free you will be truly happy
You'll be incredibly afraid of death. Similar to what prior anon said.
You'll be incredibly afraid, because you have been programmed to comply. And moving against your programming is designed to elicit that fear. My suggestion is to seek rather calm things that induce a fear reaction or resistance. Don't jump off mountains in search of endorphins, cheap highs. That's not overcoming your fears. It's a distraction.
We got it the first time.
I wasnt happy until i bought my dreamhouse far away from my toxic family
I wasn't happy until I had kids but then my wife when full moron so my happiness was very short lived. I'm still happy mind but for every bit of happiness my wife makes two of misery.
>I wasn't happy until I had kids but then my wife when full moron so my happiness was very short lived. I'm still happy mind but for every bit of happiness my wife makes two of misery.
Sad. Many such cases.
I swear most women can't stand it when shit is going right and have to throw a monkey wrench in the gears to cause misery. Some are definitely worse about this than others, but they all do it to some extent.
You’re hearing one side of the story anon. I’ve been married to a toxic woman and I’ve been married to a healthy one (now). I took my baggage and bullshit into both and I had to do as much changing as my now healthy wife did. I can’t say if anon is talking his own inventory or not. I’m just saying people often blame others without looking at their parts.
This is definitely true. I also was previously married to a completely toxic woman and have a good one now. When my current wife gets b***hy there is often a good reason for it. At the time it might seem ridiculous, but in hindsight she usually has a good point to make and i have some adjustments to make.
Tldr. Took my wife out for a date last night because she was feeling a bit neglected and rightfully so. I get way too wrapped up and hyper focused on getting stuff done around the farm and never stop to do anything fun with her. It was the first time we had gone to a bar in over 10 years...
Did you frick her?
Not last night anon... We were both exhausted when we got home.
>method to being happy?
not worrying about the future.
as a kid it happens naturally, you either don't care, or your idea about the future is so naively optimistic.
as you grow up you need to find something to keep yourself occupied. after all it's why we're here, isn't it?
Avoid regular use of psychoactive drugs. Eat consistently and well. Sleep well in a regular schedule. Go outside and expose yourself to sunlight. Exercise regularly. Have positive social interactions that fit your inclinations. Have a place you can call your own, and take care of it such that you would be proud if others see it. Learn new things. Maintain desirable relationships with family, friends, and neighbors. Have a long-term romantic partner whom you can trust. Develop skills which are useful to yourself and others. Be a productive member of your community. Help others become better in your areas of expertise. Produce economic value sufficient to meet your needs without concern and to support others. Lead others. Have children with your long-term romantic partner, and raise them to be upstanding people. Reflect upon your ideals, values, goals, character, etc. and develop a personal ethos. Become your ideal self. Pass responsibilities to others as they become worthy. Come to terms with mortality. Ensure that your legacy will continue to benefit the world. Prepare your affairs and loved ones for your absence.
Well, we have to end apartheid for one. And slow down the nuclear arms race, stop terrorism and world hunger. We have to provide food and shelter for the homeless, and oppose racial discrimination and promote civil rights, while also promoting equal rights for women. We have to encourage a return to traditional moral values. Most importantly, we have to promote general social concern and less materialism in young people.
Gb2 plebbit homosexual
I knocked out the orange one and everything else crumbled. Fricking sucks bros, now I’m rebuilding and it’s taking its time, but I see a nice path ahead
tfw only have the red one
this hierarchy is flawed because it doesn't account for millions of lonely people in the first world who seem to jump right to the top but totally miss on love, friends, intimacy
Are you trolling? The most important part of a pyramid is the base, that’s why they chose a pyramid to represent the hierarchy
>jpg
okay but how
>Avoid regular use of psychoactive drugs.
But I enjoy coffee...
Descent into pleasure hell, usually. Happiness is overrated.
>Why would anyone do drugs when they could just mow a lawn?
You ever mowed a lawn..... on weed?
Damn man. Good red blooded american shit right there
Imagine not spelling it itellyewhut.jpg
cooking meth, i guess
hmm alcohol it is a depressant, your body strives for homostasis so the up swing is higher, unfortunately the lowered inhabitions during intoxication increase motivation.
I would think mad is better goal than happy, the adjectives for mad have better connotations than happy
Doing good rat shit with friends
Drugs
Do some blow, frick some hot trannies, ride a motorcycle really fast and eat good homemade food. Works for me
I went out to see the grand canyon and instead of paying their ridiculous price for a tour I went down some side road with a little trail that lead out to a nice view of part of the canyon with no people. That made me happy for a bit, might work for you.
Work with your hands. Make stuff.
This.
The satisfaction from fixing/making something yourself can't be underestimated
not OP, but Ive been a hands on tech for 16 years (and doing hobby stuff for like 30) but my last job fricked both my thumbs (was only doing this job for 6 months) and now using my hands is extremely painful. so far ive gotten zero compensation for it. what do?
docs wont even give me pain killers. im thinking of either threatening to start doing heroin so theyll give me some, or actually doing it then telling them id rather use opiates under a Dr supervision and they can stop this.
the choices for surgery are all, not great. the joints near the tips of my thumbs can be fused, so i can no longer bend the tips. as far the base of the thumbs where the bulk of the injury is, they remove this bone so hopefully bone-on-bone rubbing stop and therefore the pain stops. but this surgery is incredibly invasive and involves 6 months recovery and i think an additional like 6 months of PT,
Im so fricking depressed.
pic related is the bone they pull out in the hopes that it will stop the pain. but they dont typically do this to people under the age of 60 (im 40). i dont even know what itd be like working after this.
Dr John e sarno the mindbody prescription. Check out the book and read testimonies from those who have before considering either medicating constantly forever or surgery.
I hope you get well soon anon, chronic pain that prevents you from your only hobbies is horrible I know firsthand
1. don't trust anyone
2. stop giving fricks
3. dont need shit
Become Amish. No seriously.
Personnaly I'm building (struggling) my own tank from my own imagination and everything DIY
It help me face the deep loneliness I face and show the skills I have
damm i thought it was some boring bs like car engine overhaul or whatever these wannabe chads like to pretend to do
>“Don’t get depressed. When you get depressed you neglect everything else in your life that gives you happiness. When it’s gone you’ll really have something to be depressed about” - Some old neighbor
There are certain things that make me happy but overall I’m a pretty miserable person. Even while miserable I try to maintain the maslows pyramid so it doesn’t fall over. Then I go do things that make me happy and that carries over for a while
happiness is for pussies, just eat healthy, exercise and get enough sleep
handyman's DIY sex
stomping a commie always makes me feel better
Being "in the zone" while working on something makes me happy. Like working on my mek
max white turned to green
Just stop giving a shit. As the first pennies said "mind your business". Stop worrying about shit that is outside of your control. Shit going on in DC that you have no say in? Dont worry about it. prostitutes ruining an entire generation and you cant stop all of them? Dont worry about it.
Your biggest concern is paying your bills and not becoming homeless, everything else is extra. Once youve fully detached from that which you have no control over and embraced what you can control, then all the little things become more pleasant.
It's a subtle kind of joy to be secure and un-frickwithable, a fleeting pleasure to have all of your shit in order.
The first step is to take accountability for yourself, FULL accountability.
Your mom didnt love you? Well thats your fault for being unloveable, do better.
Its never good enough? thats your fault for not being good enough, do better.
The purpose of this is to condition yourself into assuming control of your own life. All the bad in life may not have been your fault, but if you take accountability for it, it was my fault, then that sets a precedence for you to be in control and to not let anyone frick with you anymore, because again, youre in control, youre the man of the house, youre the captain of the ship. Shit doesnt happen unless YOU want it to.
Once you have total control over your life and situation, happiness is but a matter of being pleased with your position and possessions.
>The first step is to take accountability for yourself, FULL accountability.
>Your mom didnt love you? Well thats your fault for being unloveable, do better.
>It’s never good enough? thats your fault for not being good enough, do better.
>it’s all my fault
This is really sad codependent thinking anon. It’s pretty common in people that were raised in abusive homes.
I think he's trying to explain radical ownership, which works for most people, but as you point out coming from an abusive or toxic family of origin kind of skews the idea. I'm struggling with this in that there are many things in my adult life that are not my fault but are my responsibility - balanced against an emotionally abusive upbringing that is not my responsibility beyond trying to heal.
> I think he's trying to explain radical ownership
You’re explaining ownership. He’s explaining away abuse. Two completely different concepts.
Man, my ex must’ve been hella abusive because this is exactly how I think. How do I stop that? I don’t date or even talk to women anymore because I still don’t see myself as good enough for anyone/anything
I doubt you learned that thinking from your ex. It’s been my experience that we form these patterns in childhood, then find ourselves in the orbit of abusers and of course we become abusers in our own way. We rarely see that part though.
As far as how to change, that requires rewiring your thinking. It takes time and perseverance. There are many paths to this. Therapy of different kinds, journaling, positive reinforcement by reframing your thoughts and speech about yourself. I’ve changed immensely and it’s been a winding path - Internal Family Systems therapy, talk therapy, AA and AL-ANON, journaling, meditation, reading books on change through Buddhism/Taoism. It’s been a long road but I’m really starting to see results. It takes time and you have to stick with it. We didn’t learn these things overnight so they won’t be cured overnight either.
I was with her for 10 years from 17~27. My parents were very loving, but my father cheated on my mother when I was 18 and in college and destroyed a lot of trust in someone that I had full faith in. Then my mother killed herself, or accidentally overdosed… Then my ex cheated on me, but the whole time after my mother’s death was hard on her and myself. I cut off my family, and was insanely depressed, she was my whole world and would tell me for 3 years that she wasn’t sure if she ever loved me.
I internalized that, we broke up 2 years ago and all those negative conversations kept replaying in my head, all the bad shit, everything I was doing wrong.
We recently talked and even while talking to her she said ‘you’re blaming yourself so much’ and i was like, no shit bro, I ruined everything..
when you do something new, you remember the experience. when you do repatative stuff, you dont really remember it.
when youre a baby and a child and a teen, most everything is new and youre always exploring life and remembering those new experiences. as an adult you may end up at the same job for years with a repatitive routine and youre never really doing anything new so that time flies by super fast.
if you keep going new places and meeting new people and learning new things, you will remember much more of the time you spent alive and thus will have a longer life.
>therapy, buddhism/taoism
Since i've started driving i've started getting more invested in the church I attend recently. This makes me happier.
I work two out of three weekends so was only able to go once every three weeks, the time inbetween each visit would often cause a lapse and cascade downwards in my mood. Now I attend divine liturgy every sunday which makes me feel better. Not really sure how I can put it into words and do it justice, bit of a mystery.
Find something to look forward to anon, this is key. I hope you had a good new year.
Correct nutrition and sleep and one small step each day towards a goal completely dependent on nothing but your own effort.
just have a wild imagination and make things happen the way you like it
Every man dreams of his house like a girl dreams of her wedding. This guy was 21 and built his house (w help) looks pretty happy.
>Every man dreams of his house like a girl dreams of her wedding.
Haha! Funny
Working and and getting jacked, joked, stacked, succulent muscles made me happy. Abstaining from shitty stimulation like porn, the internet, and especially alcohol and drugs will make you happier every day. Doing a job that you find meaningful even if the meaning is just what you spend the money on.
You choose to be. Think optimistically to a psychotic degree and always have a sense of humor about things.
Going from 60kmh to 180kmh wide open throttle in 2nd gear on a gen 2 hayabusa
Take the monkpill
idk but when you find out, post it. i'm just going to be miserable the rest of my life if i don't have any guidance.
Hard work and the fruits of your labor, but they have to be intertwined. Don't just assume that working your ass off to make your boss a nice bonus is the same as working for yourself at the same price. Don't assume working for yourself means you'll live comfortably with a safe home and loving family.
Build a home (home, not necessarily a house) for yourself, work to bring the rest of the "happy things" to fill that place in time.
If you want happiness and there are things you would like to get out of your one and only lifespan, you have to make it happen yourself.
All that said,