what exterior design features can I add that will piss off my HOA, but that they won’t be able to make me get rid of?
I don’t care if it looks bad, this is purely for spite purposes
what exterior design features can I add that will piss off my HOA, but that they wont be able to make me get rid of?
Just do some gardening out front for once
get a ham license and erect a giant antenna
if you do it right they're not allowed to tell you to take it down
2nd for this but add as many tacky antennaes as possible. There’s a law called OTARD (lol) that explicitly prohibits HoAs from denying you the right to put any kind of over the air antenna on your house. I’ve heard it has been extensively challenged in court and they always side with the homeowner since the law is so explicit. Best case you’re baiting them into suing you in an unwinnable case and waste all their time and money as well. Assuming you send them a copy of the law and they continue to harass you about it, you might be able to get damages as well, not sure if it’s punitive though
>extensively challenged in court
ahahaha these c**t truly have no life
Second this as well. Make sure it meets the regulations but you can make it look janky to piss them off even more.
>if you do it right they're not allowed to tell you to take it down
Really? I've always seen hams b***hing that their HOA won't let them put up an antenna, so they have to find all kinds of goofy ways to hide it.
Federal law trumps HOA regulations but it's not quite as slam dunk as some here make it sound. There are lots of exclusions to the "must let you put up an antenna" law and most HOA management companies know them. They also know the gray areas where they can wrap you up in court if they want. Unless you have the money for a legal fight, the law doesn't matter, especially if they have friends in your local courts and you'll need to appeal to get the law interpreted in your favor.
Wheelchair ramp? That zigs and zags back and forth. They look like total shit. Also parking a giant RV in the driveway can be a big eyesore. Best of luck
Hell, I'd do it!
You don't even need to pull a permit for them either.
depends on the city/state
Ask and you shall receive.
God imagine spending 10 minutes going up a hill that takes 15 seconds for a normal person, I'd fricking kms
With how expensive and awful that ramp is, a motorized lift would have been better in every way. Hell, if you're worried about reliability put two in. Still less of an eyesore, faster, and cheaper than that monstrosity.
>Still less of an eyesore
That's the point anon
And once the cripple moves out you can finish it with epoxy, polish it up and have the best waterslide in the neighborhood.
that ramp could probably have been adequate if it just went straight. perhaps a flat portion in the middle for resting
This had to be done as a joke, right?
I dont know if the guy who requested it was having a laugh, or the guys who built it, but somebody definitely did this for comedic purposes
Probably a government building and a legal requirement to not exceed a certain grade percentage. Whoever designed the ramp realized government means deep pockets and they could game the requirements to maximize work and thus income.
Not him, but I saw a picture of a wheelchair ramp in Russia that was close to 45 degree incline.
the railings should be out of brick. then it would be easy to have a make shift waterslide in the winter
it's for rain and cleaning
I see where you and people replying to you got confused, since it's on the bigger side and almost could look like a tiny ramp (if you never go outside and have never seen regular ones)
>it's for rain and cleaning
w-what?
Why only exterior?
hoaBlack folk can't see inside his house
You're a bit young to be here don't you think? Also what are windows?
better than old ass boomers sucking israelite establishment wiener on here
could just setup dividers around the windows so there can be a little "display" at each one and still retain the privacy!
maybe not the answer you're looking for but pool up some standing water in your back yard or something and just let mosquitoes breed in it.
don't do it if you actually enjoy being outside though.
Don't do both they'll cancel each other out
This is the kind of thing I'm actually perfectly fine with HOAs going after and I'm pretty sure it can violate local laws in some areas.
>maybe not the answer you're looking for but pool up some standing water in your back yard or something and just let mosquitoes breed in it.
and old suburb trick was to fill a frisbie with chocolate or peanut butter. leave it in the freezer until you can separate the frisbie from the food.
then toss the food on some homosexual boomers roof. enjoy watching him complain about bugs, pest and vermin for the next month.
that will teach that homosexual for supporting the orc invasion of our homeland
fill it with tuna and bacon grease
That's so much more complicated than just throwing a hershey bar
even bugs wont eat hershey's
reminds me of the ol' piss puck in the college dorms. Pee in a pie tin, freeze it, pop it out, kick it under the gap in your enemy's door.
bat roosts, or habitage for any federally protected species.
as a plus, theyll eat all the bugs around your house
if you decide to go bat roosts, be careful with rabies. Bats can bite, carry rabies, and their bites are near undetectable.
Rabies is no joke. Can take up to a year for onset of symptoms and once symptoms arrive you are dead. Only one person has survived rabies after onset of symptoms on record: a young girl in the Midwest who contracted rabies from a bat in her church attic. Guidelines state that if you come into contact with a bat or have been in the same room as a bat, you should get the vaccine. They've improved the vaccine, so you don't gotta take it in the belly.
I had to get this shit a couple months ago. You get 4 shots the first day, then an additional shot every week for the next month. It wasn't so bad, aside from the fact that the only place to get the shot is the hospital, so I had to wait in the ER for 8 hours the first time.
>muh vaxx
are you still getting your boosters? two more weeks boomer
Plant protected trees or plants everywhere you possibly can, but be careful not to starve them of nutrients.
Giant sequoias are one of the biggest tree species in the world, and as a bonus, they're endangered. Not sure what the laws are like around you, but they might be illegal to chop. Same thing applies to flowers and that shit, planting flowers might give you a larger surface area you can cover.
Perfect, now you’re great great great great great grandchildren can piss off the HOA
I lived in an HOA once and they put up HUGE road bumps that forced you to come to a complete stop to go over them. They were so egregious you could tel that it was a design flaw and not intentional. I put up signs next to them that said “CAUTION: SPEED MOUNTAIN”. They didn’t stay up very long. That alone made me kek. Someone got so mad when they drove by them they got out to take them down.
i woulda put em back up at like 4am so people trying to stay up are still asleep. or worst case, 2PM and hardhat . white truck
That's easy. Call the city and point out those interfere with ambulance and fire response.
Black person you got so butthurt you maid signs and posted them kek
*butler hurt
Kek. Underrated.
Trolling is never not a good idea. I’d do it again.
>you maid signs
>maid
I suggest you go back to school and get an education, Cletus.
>they did a thing that was clearly a traffic violation and illegal since they don't own the actual roads and have no control over traffic stops, so I made passive aggressive signs te he he
Or you just call the cops the day those speed bumps show up.
HOAs own the roads within the HOA moron. It’s all private property. Part of your fees go to maintenance of the roads. How can you be this stupid in the age of google?
There's still a fricking limit to what they can do moron. DOT is a thing. The roads need to be able to be driven on safely.
Well I googled this and found myself to be in error sir. Makes sense now that I think about it. I guess I’m the moron.
That depends on the HOA. Generally, and there are exceptions, if there is a gate, the HOA owns the roads. If there is no gate, usually the streets are public though not always.
Put a teepee outside and claim native heritage.
>claim native heritage
if you are Caucasian and born in America; then you are native to America. i hate how israelites twist the meaning of words
Dealing with a new management company for my neighborhoods HOA.
Absolute fricking wienersuckers. I'm trying to maintain my cool before having a meeting with them.
>HOA
lmao just move out of that soulless suburban hellscape
HOA sounds like absolute nightmare since it's always going to be ran by the most petty power hungry homosexuals
I get pissed when my neighbours ask me minor shit can't imagine I'd do well in HOA community
It is. I once work with a woman who was fined 500 dollars because she had a yellow bench.
Tf how they can fine people?
When you buy a house in an HOA, you agree to the HOA rules, including the ability of the HOA to fine you for violations of the rules. Most HOAs give multiple notices of violation before assessing a fine.
>What if I just don't sign the agreement.
You can't. When the neighborhood is developed, the developer only will sell to people who sign the HOA agreement. Part of the HOA agreement is a rule that you can only sell to others who will sign the HOA contract.
If you want to hack the system, find an HOA with lots of strict rules and buy a house just outside of it. Then you get the benefits that come from everyone maintaining their property without being restricted yourself. And unlike the "exceptionalists" mentioned in the previous post, you're not breaking any rules as the HOA could have purchased the house themselves, extended it into the HOA, and then resold it if they wanted control over it. But you'll probably want to be in the small ballpark as the HOA just to be a good neighbor and not look like crap by comparison.
I did something like this. About 15 years ago I bought property that was from a failed development. Like picture related. They built one house as the 'demonstrator house' and promptly went under. They didn't finish it, no trim, paint, appliances, or landscaping, but it was weather tight. I was fresh out the military with a VA loan and a big down payment. I bought 6 parcels in a 2x3 layout including the demo house. 6 lots was just over an acre.
After 10 years, with only two other lots selling, the rest were bought up by a new developer. They put in a ton of cookie-cutter houses and created an HOA. None of this applied to me or the two other people that were in the neighborhood already. In 2020 the HOA got on my case because my empty lots are 'not maintained to standard'. Basically, it is native grass I mow when I feel like it. When they threatened me with fines I attended the HOA meeting with my paperwork and the HOA's charter, showed that my house was not subject to an HOA, and politely told them to eat shit.
They kept sending letters and then started issuing fines. I knew what was coming to I got my ducks in a row. They attempted to put a tax lien on my property for the unpaid fines, which at this point totaled a ridiculous $25k. I sued and, long story short, they lost quite badly. They didn't have a ton of money and tried to increase their HOA dues so they could cover payments to me. The members kept voting it down and they defaulted on my payments. I only ended up getting a few grand after lawyers fees but it was worth it to bankrupt them.
The other members ended up suing the 3 people on the HOA board for negligence. It was a whole thing because the HOA was responsible for everything from snow plowing to garbage pickup and they couldn't afford to do any of that. I don't know what happened with that case but I do know every one of them moved out of the neighborhood and the HOA was dissolved at some point.
>man bankrupts HOA via their own stupidity
Incredibly based if true.
It was a very niche case. When the last lot sold the development company bowed out of the HOA and let the board run everything. Since the board was just some good-for-nothings with extra time on their hands they mucked it up. They didn't even hire a lawyer until I filed the lawsuit.
My brother lives the next town over and his HOA is great. They are in a gated community and they only have about 50 homes to worry about though. While the rate he pays is pretty high, they take care of just about everything. They mow the lawns, clean gutters, clear snow from the driveways, and even paint the houses. You can only select from pre-approved colors but the list is pretty generous and they hire skilled people to do the work. A few years ago they even repaved the roads. They have deals with local contractors if you need plumbing or electrical done. It is kind of more of a co-op then an HOA in some ways. He's got kids and stuff though. Its a different life outlook then me. I basically stay home and keep to myself and expect others to do the same.
My folks have lived in the some place since the 1980s. Their HOA was formed in the 60's and it is old school. Their original charter said they wouldn't sell to 'colored people, unwed families, or single occupants'. Basically, if you weren't white and married they wouldn't let you in. Luckily, my folks are very straight laced and gwt along well with their HOA. If I had been living there, well, there probably would have been a murder. Some arson at the very least.
You are an inspiration to the rest of us.
You're a real American hero.
I swear I don’t understand posts like this. I’m not calling anyone a liar but I lived in an HOA once and it was opposite to what you say. There were two condos operating daycares out of their units. The HOA knew about it, b***hed about it, but did nothing about it. The traffic was unreal and the people utilizing the day cares liked to drive fast and play loud music.
I would have killed for an HOA that had enough power to fine people for mailbox color in that scenario.
Not all HOAs are equal. People that complain about them are equally stupid too. If you don't like it, don't buy into one. They do have a valid purpose of preserving property value and curtailing the riff-raff.
>let me pay 400 bucks a month to get my lawn mowed and maybe the streets plowed
Keep sucking their balls dry and maybe you can get in the country club.
If you live in Florida, make your lawn "Florida native friendly."
There's laws to protect you and you can have 6ft tall grass in your front yard.
Something religious.
Like a big golden buddha.
>777
Explains why you didn't say a statue of Baphomet
Imagine a cooky Vietnam vet’s house on the 4th of July, the guy with 200 American flags all over including a full size flag pole, the banners of flags draped on top of the windows, flags stufinin the lawn…
…now do the same thing to your house but you need to do either USSR flags, the gross troony pride flag, or pirate flags.
IMO, the pirate flag would be the most funny, but the butt pirate flag would be much harder for them to make you remove because it’s 2023 and trannies > USA.
I know of several houses in my area that do this shit with pride flags and BLM flags
>me from my completely illegal untaxed second guest house in my backyard while no one bats an eye. I could cover it in neon signs for all they care.
Meanwhile castrated Americans are worrying about the colors of their window frames. Explain to me again that land of the free slogan? Without mentioning "muh guns hurr" ofc
>completely illegal untaxed second guest house
i could have an illegal house too if i felt like it, not sure what your point is
>i could have an illegal house too
Maybe for a weekend, before a petty neighbor snitched on you on Monday and you got a heavy fine, which you wouldn't be able to pay, and then the HOA c**ts would auction off your house, and you would be evicted, and then you would get arrested because living in your car is illegal, and then you would go to a private prison and get raped. But hey, at least no one touched your guns!
Do you think all Americans live in HOA’s? Lol what a moron.
hahaha
Never heard of Freedom of Association? No adult is forced to live in an HOA, they choose to live in one.
There seems to be four groups of people who get upset over HOAs:
Kids, especially teens: They don't get a choice in the matter because it is their parents who decided to live there. Also with little experience with the world, they have a difficult time understanding the importance of maintaining a neighborhood. And they are still developing their sense of empathy so they often don't understand why the people next door get upset about the kids playing basketball at midnight.
Exceptionalists: These are the people who think the rules should apply to everyone else but not to them because they're special. They're usually one of the first to complain to the HOA about others breaking the rules that they themselves ignore.
Morons: Similar to the exceptionalists, they want to live by one set of rules while gaining the benefits of others abiding by the HOA rules. The exceptionalists generally understand why it is useful for everyone else to follow the rules while the moron believes nice neighborhoods happen by magic and don't see why it matters if they have a rusted out Geo Metro rotting on the front lawn full of weeds. At least the Morons are unlikely to report you for anything.
Victims: These are the people who agreed to and followed the rules in the way they existed and were enforced when they moved into the neighborhood. At some point either the rules were changed (explicitly or through interpretation) or started to be applied unequally. Now they have to either go through the process of getting enough neighbors involved to change the rules back or in the case of unequal enforcement, go through the legal system to force the HOA board to abide by its own rules equally. Most of the time (but not always) this can be avoided by simply showing up at HOA board meetings each month/quarter and speaking up when rule changes are floated.
Its my fricking yard. I payed for it; and I was here first. Then development gentrified the area and the HOA moved in around me.
if I want a backhoe rusting in my back yard then I get to have a backhoe rusting in my back yard, frick you.
That's not how it works, but whatever.
>That's not how it works, but whatever.
if anon was there before any HOA moved into the area, then yes he would be exempt. because never agreed to any HOA rules as they didnt exist before, therefore he would be exempt from any HOA rules. an HOA cant just come into an area and force existing people to abide by their rules. thats not how THAT works.
If he's not in the HOA, what is he hitching about? He's trying to pretend he was forced in which absolutely didn't happen. Either he signed up, in which case he is an ass for thinking he's special or he's not in, in which case he has nothing to complain about since he's not subject to their rules.
>HOA cant just come into an area and force existing people to abide by their rules. thats not how THAT works.
So what is he b***hing about then? You nullified the very post you’re defending.
How many people do you think have posted in this thread? Hint: it's at the bottom right of the page.
I like to eat pussy.
>we’re making pointless posts that have nothing to do with anything correct?
There could be a hundred people. I responded to a specific post that was responding to a specific post. Keep coming back. You’ll get it.
Usually, you have to have all of your vehicles registered with the state if they are in your driveway, per the HOA. Go on Craigslist and find the cheapest junker that was registered in the past few weeks. Make it look as junky as possible. IMPORTANT: put one tire on it that is FAR larger than the other three and then get three super low-profile tires for the others.
Do this with as many cars as you can fit fully in the driveway and then park one halfway in and halfway out of the driveway.
2. Get some of the large miniblinds and break one or two slats out of each set so that the broken ones hang at odd angles.
3. Remove completely one window covering and have a bunch of boxes and kitchen appliances stacked haphazardly easily visible from the street.
pretty sure a hobbiest antenna is protected federally.....id double check but the HOA seethes with you 80ft tower
best way to piss off HOA is sending a pipe bomb to whoever is running it and tweaking all day on meth, shooting your .38 revolver inside your house
it depends on the conditions of the contract you signed
No sympathy for you. When you bought the place you knew there was an HOA and you moved there anyway. Now enjoy being told what you can and can't do on your own property.
I've seen some petty HOAs. One told the residents they couldn't wash cars in their driveways, one said you could only park one car in your driveway, etc.
You can fight them, but its expensive and even if you win they'll just frick with you about something else.
Put those shitty solar yard lights all over the yard. Get some solar lights that stick to the wall and afix them in stupid places. That's what my Indian neighbors do. That and sticking cameras up and running extension cords to them. They also leave Christmas lights up all year.
>They also leave Christmas lights up all year
That's almost universally against HOA rules though. I had someone in my neighborhood that had one of those 12 ft tall skeletons they put up for halloween and then left it up until july. I can imagine the HOA was probably kvetching about it the whole time
one of my neighbors has one of those, but they keep changing its costume for different seasons
Antennas. FCC and ARRL will go after anyone that tries to stop you.
I put up a big ol flag pole with a 24/7 solar light on top. 30'. Got a gadsen flag at the top
>Anon, Sec 4-2-IV(b) of the CC&R states that no part of a fence can be over 66". You need to remove the portions of your fence that exceeds that height before the end of the week or we will have to assess a fine of $150 per day your fence continues to be out of compliance.
>tfw fence gets circumcised and put in the penis cage
>make curved benis
>apex of shaft exactly 65.5" from ground
checkmate
It's hard to tell from the image, but that doesn't look like it's 6' tall.
Sell to blacks for $10 000 or idk. $10
A sign with the HOA mebers names on explaining what happened, if an oil company can do it to entire towns setting up meeting specifically to slander a few houses you should be able to state the facts on a billboard of kinds.
Erect - pun intended - a massive 30 foot tall wiener in your front yard and then move the frick out because HOAs are for queers
But anon, if HOA are for queers then a 30' wiener would be a gift to them. Op should errect the wiener and then just watch as board members come up to worship it.
>the american mentality
why are you guys like this? going out of your ways to annoy others?
You don't understand if you've never lived under an unreasonable HOA.
My parents home had a very lax HOA. They took care of a public park and made sure people didn't do redneck shit like let a car rot on the front lawn. The scope of the HOA's authority is extremely limited in most cases. In SOME cases HOAs have greater authority. You're supposed to read the contract you agree to before you buy the property. Some property is just land with no HOAs. This is the ideal that you want to aim for. Sometimes an butthole takes over the HOA. The only time you hear about HOAs in the USA are when you hear about bad ones. Bad HOAs can be very difficult to get rid of.
Most HOAs are easy to take over. They usually have the same people voting the same people in. Kind of like regular politics. Just get enough people on your side and have them vote you in as HOA president. Problem solved, buddy.
a sign that says you hate orcs and hook noses
HAM Radio antenna tower.
The FCC rules time and time again against any HOA rules prohibiting them.
Sort of true, also a bit of an urban legend. The law exists but mainly relates to state and local governments. For HOAs, it mostly applies to satellite dishes. For amateur radio, if taken to court, sometimes the ham wins, sometimes the HOA wins. It's not the slam dunk do whatever you want with an antenna rule that people think it is.