Turning the Key

Well? Do you turn the /k/ey?

250 Piece Survival Gear First Aid Kit

LifeStraw Water Filter for Hiking and Preparedness

250 Piece Survival Gear First Aid Kit

  1. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Turn it yourself kiddo, fricking zoomy.

  2. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    https://desuarchive.org/k/thread/59091754
    https://desuarchive.org/k/thread/60317918

  3. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    This always confused me. These two-key systems are rigged to be impossible for a single man to use. If he shoots me then it will be impossible to launch the missile. So the real question is if I'm a coward that will kill millions of people just to save my own hide.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      This is an IQ test in disguise. A low-IQ just accepts the scene at face value — turn the key or get shot. A mid-wit is able to think through the scenario an extra step "wait, if the goal is to turn the key that can’t happen if you shoot me". The high-IQ thinks through the scenario and also comprehends the underlying truth: "I wasn’t going to turn the key anyway; but if there’s a threat to my life I may be motivated to turn the key changing the key-turning chance from 0 to something above 0."

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        What if you were going to turn the key but refuse out of spite over being threatened?

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          The other guy doesn’t know that, all he saw was that I’m not turning the key. So the calculus to him doesn’t change.

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            The calculus being "If I shoot anon I can't fire the missile so I have to keep threatening him and hope something changes"?

            • 2 months ago
              Anonymous

              No. It’s "he’s not turning the key, maybe he’ll turn it if threaten his life". You got filtered by the IQ test, just accept it.

            • 2 months ago
              Anonymous

              You tie a bootlace from one key to the other. One key turns both. Everyone knows this.

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                >One keyhole at a 90 degree angle from the other
                Yeah...that dog don't hunt.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        But what if he shoots you after you turn the key?

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      >So the real question is if I'm a coward that will kill millions of people just to save my own hide.
      Coward, or... pragmatic? I can't help survivors of the nuclear aftermath if I'm shot. Also the bunker is a pretty safe place, as long as I appease the dude with the gun I will be better off than those outside the bunker.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        You don't need to help the survivors of a nuclear exchange if there isn't a nuclear exchange.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        He's going to shoot you right after you turn the key, you idiot. The best thing you can do is rush him.

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          Even if you survive rushing the guy and disarming him, you can't turn both keys by yourself.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Kneecap him then

  4. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    I wouldn't need a gun pointed at me, history will vindicate my actions

  5. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Am I supposed to know what reddit netflix show this image refers to?

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      That’s a mighty impressive zoom…

  6. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    I would be the one holding the gun.
    Nuclear holocaust can't come soon enough.

  7. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    better question, would you keep a personal stash of supplies if you were stationed at a silo? how would you prevent said stash from being raided by mooches in the peacetime before the keys are turned?

  8. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    THE SILO DOORS ARE CLOSED

    JERRY

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      IT'S SUICIDE

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      https://i.imgur.com/LJ5Y314.png

      IT'S SUICIDE

      Is it done, Yuri?

  9. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    I swallow the key and make him wait 2 days with me. he can shoot me but he needs 2 people to turn the keys. his only option is wait and try again. repeat endlessly

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      why can't he shoot you and cut the key out of your gullet? too messy?

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        because then Im dead and he can't turn both keys

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          Is there no one else available?

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            they're busy in the other room

            • 2 months ago
              Anonymous
  10. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    I do not. In fact I take the key and shove it up my ass and tell them to go and get it, knowing that we ran out of rubber gloves days ago. As they reach in to dig the key out, I reveal my surprise: The key was never up there, only 2 days worth of constipated feces just waiting for release. As they find themselves covered in an ever increasing amount of poop, I reveal that there was no launch alert, I faked the whole thing.

  11. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    We haven't used a two-key system in literal decades, you moron.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      its like a 4 key system now. someone figured out long ago they could turn both keys by themself by using a shoelace and a fork

  12. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    I'm pretty tired right now, I think I'll take a nap. Ask me again when I wake up

  13. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    For new arrivals to the planet Earth the OP reference:

    ?si=vlFzxoKx5ye9qeKN [Embed]

  14. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Where is this scene from?

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      its a training film on silo etiquette

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      ?si=QCcVU7F-T5gGGeAf

  15. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    >turn yo-
    Yes
    >you dont even know what we're nuking
    Dont care, key turnt

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Agreed; oaths were taken.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        Oaths are meant to be broken.

  16. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    The piss key? You don't turn the piss key, it turns you.

  17. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Sorry I lost it when I was looking for that grape I dropped earlier, it wasnt important was it?

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      You can still complete the side quests.

  18. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    I had such a crush on yuri as a kid, I love his voice

  19. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    >Not turning your key on day 1 and leaving it like that
    Smh famalams

  20. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    I swallow the key and fight for my life

  21. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    My keys already turned. It’s the first thing I do on my shift.

  22. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    You are under a moral imperative not to obey your government under gunpoint.

  23. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    I would love to be the guy with the gun and shoot the anons who turned the key. The look on your faces as you realise you've lost everything would be priceless. You didn't stop the nuclear holocaust, you didn't save your life, and you didn't outsmart anyone.

    There's a reason besides saving Trinity for why Neo took the door on the left. You evidently aren't smart enough to understand that it.

  24. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    IDK Anon, Tucker Carlson has a gun. I don't want to get shot.

  25. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    if the missile go up everyone is going to die
    so I think the guys in the silo should get to ride on them to the destination in a little capsule in the nose. would be a fun bonus and incentive to turn the key

  26. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    >Well? Do you turn the /k/ey?
    yes without hesitation

  27. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    I remember /k/ would usually want to know who the targets are, now it seems like mostly just shitposting. Which is fine I guess this being a ritual post and all.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      >I remember /k/ would usually want to know who the targets are
      today we know it is Russians. This is good.

      "Russia threatens to unleash ‘entire arsenal on London if it loses war in Ukraine’
      Former Russian president Dmitry Medvedev has warned of “total war” if Russia was forced to return to its 1991 borders"
      https://www.standard.co.uk/news/world/russia-ukraine-london-nuclear-weapons-b1139902.html

  28. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    >Well? Do you turn the /k/ey?
    If the key launches nukes that destroy Russia, I would leave my family, sell their home and use the money to pay for the key, have already turned they key and would be pointing the revolver at the other key turner balls screaming 'turn the fricking key'
    reminder Colonel Ripper did nothing wrong and was ultimately proved correct, not about water but about destroying Russia. When Dt. Strangelove was made in 1964 the nuclear balance was completely in the USAs favor and the Russian cancer e could have been dealt with (United States 31,000 and the Soviet Union 6,000). Given what we now know, the USA would have with a first strike as planned by Colonel Rippler wiped out the Russians. He was the only clear headed man in the whole film.

  29. 2 months ago
    Anonymous.

    Hell no.
    >But muh orders.
    You're asking me to let off ten nuclear missiles at targets that I don't know about, for reasons I do not know about.

    I get why they have that procedure in place. It prevents operator moralization, makes the system reliable even if the command chain is compromised. It also reduces all the operator interaction, and distances them with the act of nuclear war by having cyphered orders leading to unknown targets the operator is unaware of.
    But that's not enough to make me comfortable.

    If I know/trust the guy or guys giving the orders, maybe. If I know where the nukes are pointed, maybe. If I know why the orders might have come in, maybe.
    But with none of it? With an unknown hand on the Order button, and an unknown target, or reason for firing, that key is not getting turned, and you will absolutely need to shoot me and get someone else in to turn it.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Its not your job to be comfortable, it's a volunteer position and a job that you agreed to obey orders in. Turn the fricking key, we're cooking Russians.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        Wait a fricking second I was told we were gonna be microwaving the Chinese. Don't go switching targets on me you whole grain prostitute

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Human in the loop was a mistake.

  30. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Depends, how many are targeted to Hiroshima and Nagasaki? I want to go for round 2

  31. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    I would be the one pointing the gun.

  32. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    I’m not in that situation because political officers get spotted and fragged at the first sight of shit going down

  33. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    If you get the launch order, you should immediately kill the other crewman. It's the only way to be sure he won't shoot you.

  34. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    What if the order was to nuke Moscow?

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