This boomer corners you in an alley way with his fully stocked vest. What do you do next?

This boomer corners you in an alley way with his fully stocked vest. What do you do next?

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  1. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Take a step to the left

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      REKT

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      ded

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      https://i.imgur.com/lgB60cQ.jpg

      For ayoob you merely need to stand directly in front of him... if you enter his peripheral... you're dead. Matching your position with the direction of his head is the only guarenteed way to escape. All other options rely completely on luck.

      Your only chance to escape this situation is to do a 360 and run away.
      ProTip, I have a PhD in mathology from an HBCU on-line degree program, so I'm twice as smart as (you) mongs.

  2. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >draw and shoot because he carries his gun hammer down with an empty chamber

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >your

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I'm pretty sure he rags on people that do just that in one video and says you should never do it

  3. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >expert witness
    Please tell me this is a joke. These people cannot possibly take themselves so seriously.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      I assure you, Aboob's career depends on him taking himself seriously

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      What is an "expert witness"?

      Nah, it’s a thing but not like you’re probably thinking of.
      Expert witnesses are essentially mercenaries for legal proceedings. You pay them and they’ll testify on whatever you need them to testify on within their sphere of credibility.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      What is an "expert witness"?

      In court proceedings you are allowed to call 'expert witnesses' to explain things to a jury or clarify things. Weapons expert, IT guy, car mechanic (like the scene in My Cousin Vinny).

      [...]
      Nah, it’s a thing but not like you’re probably thinking of.
      Expert witnesses are essentially mercenaries for legal proceedings. You pay them and they’ll testify on whatever you need them to testify on within their sphere of credibility.

      An expert witness is someone who testifies in court as to their opinion on something in a field in which they're a specialist. Contrast this with a lay witness (a "normal" witness) who testifies in court only as to their own lived experiences.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Yeah, like the expert witness who recently testified in California that marijuana use can 100% make an otherwise healthy and sane person stab their boyfriend to death. Thanks to that testimony, the murder charge was dropped to second degree manslaughter and she only got probation.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Sensing some pothead rage In this post.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Too much wah-minz hate. It's some glowBlack person grooming victim from /PrepHole/ preparing to become a funding justification presser. It's the right time of year anyways.

            • 4 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              Meds, take them. Now.

            • 4 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              >strong correlation with temperature
              Blacks

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      well, apparently a court of law took him that seriously on multiple occasions

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >I have no idea how anything works
      Typical /k/ knowledge base

      What is an "expert witness"?

      >What is an "expert witness"?

      Someone attorneys think is good to put on the stand because of their knowledge.

      >attorneys think is good to put on the stand because of their knowledge.
      Expert witnesses could be on just about any topic related to a criminal or civil case. In the case of firearms and ballistics, think about how little the typical person understands about those topics. It's pretty much zero. An expert witness might be there to explain very basic stuff with regards to the physical evidence or testimony in the case, or there to impeach the testimony of an official ballistics report from the prosecution/crime lab. A relative sat on a murder trial, and a firearm/ballistics expert was brought in by the prosecution to explain why the physical evidence wasn't being used to definitively prove guilt like the jury might expect from what they see on TV/movies. The ammunition used was cheap reloads and the bullets had mostly disintegrated on impact, and the gun had been tossed (not that they could examine the bullet engraving), and they couldn't match them to the unfired ammunition left in the suspect car.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Paul respects him so I guess he can't be too bad.

  4. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    What is an "expert witness"?

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Someone attorneys think is good to put on the stand because of their knowledge.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        In court proceedings you are allowed to call 'expert witnesses' to explain things to a jury or clarify things. Weapons expert, IT guy, car mechanic (like the scene in My Cousin Vinny).

        Thanks

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      In court proceedings you are allowed to call 'expert witnesses' to explain things to a jury or clarify things. Weapons expert, IT guy, car mechanic (like the scene in My Cousin Vinny).

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Someone who can explain how a blood choke killed Floyd.

      https://i.imgur.com/mdhYPVb.jpg

      This boomer corners you in an alley way with his fully stocked vest. What do you do next?

      Ayoob is max moron. He wants you to talk to police. I can’t stress this enough, because you might fell for his argument, but never ever under any circumstances talk to cops. The only thing you should say is

      >I do not answer questions without a lawyer present

      Don’t ever try to speak to pigs. A friend of mine had an accident once, no one got injured and he was so sorry, he just told the cops that he drove too fast. Dumb frick lost his license. Just stfu. Something went wrong. They can’t charge you if they can’t prove shit.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >b-but if you remain silent you look guilty!!!
        the cops are already there and they are there specifically for you, you will more than likely be put in handcuffs and taken to jail regardless of what you tell them. Save your story for the judge

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          he specifically also says to be the person calling in an incident if you can.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >you will more than likely be put in handcuffs and taken to jail regardless of what you tell them.

          >"hey, make some sort of statement to cops and get some of your story out before random other people or criminals can make up bullshit"
          >REEEE NO FRICK PIGS FRICK PIGS FRICK PIGS FRICK PIGS

          he specifically also says to be the person calling in an incident if you can.

          It entirely depends on where you are and the circumstances of the incident. George Zimmerman was not even arrested by the police immediately after his shooting, and was entirely cleared by the investigating officers. He made statements and cooperated with them. They looked at the evidence, circumstances, witness statements and made a judgement that it was SD.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >"hey, make some sort of statement to cops and get some of your story out before random other people or criminals can make up bullshit"
        >REEEE NO FRICK PIGS FRICK PIGS FRICK PIGS FRICK PIGS

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >>"hey, make some sort of statement to cops and get some of your story out before random other people or criminals can make up bullshit"
          They can make up whatever they want, if it goes to trial you tell your story then. Dumbass Rittenhouse had a hundred lies told about his case- he stayed silent and the facts came out at trial(though it never should have gone to trial in the first place, whole thing was literally caught on camera) DA even tried to question his pretrial silence and the judge lost it

          >you will more than likely be put in handcuffs and taken to jail regardless of what you tell them.
          [...]
          [...]
          It entirely depends on where you are and the circumstances of the incident. George Zimmerman was not even arrested by the police immediately after his shooting, and was entirely cleared by the investigating officers. He made statements and cooperated with them. They looked at the evidence, circumstances, witness statements and made a judgement that it was SD.

          >It entirely depends on where you are and the circumstances of the incident. George Zimmerman was not even arrested by the police immediately after his shooting, and was entirely cleared by the investigating officers. He made statements and cooperated with them. They looked at the evidence, circumstances, witness statements and made a judgement that it was SD.
          I know it's not the point you are making but the DA took him to trial anyway, it's not the cops you need to convince. I also agree with

          he specifically also says to be the person calling in an incident if you can.

          the race to the phone is extremely important

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >DA took him to trial anyway
            Based purely on political pressure. In other words, were it not for the politicization of the case it would never have gone to court, let alone result in an arrest. AFAIK, none of his statements to the police were used against him, and were even at issue in his trial. I was all about his 911 call statements and other irrelevant bullshit.

            • 4 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              >Based purely on political pressure. In other words, were it not for the politicization of the case it would never have gone to court, let alone result in an arrest. AFAIK, none of his statements to the police were used against him, and were even at issue in his trial. I was all about his 911 call statements and other irrelevant bullshit.
              Totally agree. My point was that convincing the cops you were justified doesn't mean much, its up to the DA to try and ruin your life or not. Either they look at surveillance camera footage and clear you or its he said he said and you go to trial anyway. Better to have your story told by a defense attorney.

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                >its up to the DA to try and ruin your life or not.
                It's really not. When the cops show up and say 'hey this looks like text book SD, and we aren't arresting this guy,' then any prosecution afterwards is more political than anything. IIRC in the Zimmerman case it went all the way to the state prosecutor, because the county prosecutor still was not going to go after him. It was the state prosecutor that wanted political points for convicting the guy that murdered Obama's son. There is no escape for being railroaded when it comes to politics. Look at Rittenhouse. The whole incident was clear SD on multiple video angles and some shithead DA made an ass out of himself trying to hang the kid for political reasons.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >>"hey, make some sort of statement to cops and get some of your story out before random other people or criminals can make up bullshit
          This is gonna blow your mind, but cops can just lie to you and make shit the frick up and get away with it completely while you get reamed.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >>"hey, make some sort of statement to cops and get some of your story out before random other people or criminals can make up bullshit"
            They can make up whatever they want, if it goes to trial you tell your story then. Dumbass Rittenhouse had a hundred lies told about his case- he stayed silent and the facts came out at trial(though it never should have gone to trial in the first place, whole thing was literally caught on camera) DA even tried to question his pretrial silence and the judge lost it
            [...]
            >It entirely depends on where you are and the circumstances of the incident. George Zimmerman was not even arrested by the police immediately after his shooting, and was entirely cleared by the investigating officers. He made statements and cooperated with them. They looked at the evidence, circumstances, witness statements and made a judgement that it was SD.
            I know it's not the point you are making but the DA took him to trial anyway, it's not the cops you need to convince. I also agree with [...] the race to the phone is extremely important

            >"hey make some sort of statement for official record"
            >NO REEEE PIGS LIE REEEE PIGS LIE REEEE PIGS LIEEEEEEEEEEE
            ok morons

            • 4 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              >>NO REEEE PIGS LIE REEEE PIGS LIE REEEE PIGS LIEEEEEEEEEEE
              show me where I said that in

              >>"hey, make some sort of statement to cops and get some of your story out before random other people or criminals can make up bullshit"
              They can make up whatever they want, if it goes to trial you tell your story then. Dumbass Rittenhouse had a hundred lies told about his case- he stayed silent and the facts came out at trial(though it never should have gone to trial in the first place, whole thing was literally caught on camera) DA even tried to question his pretrial silence and the judge lost it
              [...]
              >It entirely depends on where you are and the circumstances of the incident. George Zimmerman was not even arrested by the police immediately after his shooting, and was entirely cleared by the investigating officers. He made statements and cooperated with them. They looked at the evidence, circumstances, witness statements and made a judgement that it was SD.
              I know it's not the point you are making but the DA took him to trial anyway, it's not the cops you need to convince. I also agree with [...] the race to the phone is extremely important

              . Logical dishonesty is immoral and you should have a nice day

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                >I didn't whine about cops lying!
                >exclusively whines about cops lying
                >muh "logical dishonesty"
                then what the frick WERE you implying, moron?
                that the mean old pigs gonna use AI to alter footage and recordings of anything you say?

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                last post fricked up oops

                YOU said in

                >"hey, make some sort of statement to cops and get some of your story out before random other people or criminals can make up bullshit"
                >REEEE NO FRICK PIGS FRICK PIGS FRICK PIGS FRICK PIGS

                >"before random other people or criminals can make up bullshit"
                I replied in

                >>"hey, make some sort of statement to cops and get some of your story out before random other people or criminals can make up bullshit"
                They can make up whatever they want, if it goes to trial you tell your story then. Dumbass Rittenhouse had a hundred lies told about his case- he stayed silent and the facts came out at trial(though it never should have gone to trial in the first place, whole thing was literally caught on camera) DA even tried to question his pretrial silence and the judge lost it
                [...]
                >It entirely depends on where you are and the circumstances of the incident. George Zimmerman was not even arrested by the police immediately after his shooting, and was entirely cleared by the investigating officers. He made statements and cooperated with them. They looked at the evidence, circumstances, witness statements and made a judgement that it was SD.
                I know it's not the point you are making but the DA took him to trial anyway, it's not the cops you need to convince. I also agree with [...] the race to the phone is extremely important

                >"They can make up whatever they want"
                Obviously referring to the "random other people or criminals" that you mentioned in

                >"hey, make some sort of statement to cops and get some of your story out before random other people or criminals can make up bullshit"
                >REEEE NO FRICK PIGS FRICK PIGS FRICK PIGS FRICK PIGS

                . NOWHERE did I talk about the POLICE lying. I am going to give you a chance to admit you misread my post.

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                I did misread. Sorry.
                I also hold that you are still moronic in a different way.
                If you sound rational (but not like a cold blooded psycho) to the cops and make an initial statement, and the other person isn't calm and comes off like a raving lunatic, that matters.

                If you say something simple about it being self defense, other person escalated and you became afraid for your life, and that you need time to collect your thoughts....
                and the other person is a raving karen
                >HELP HELP THE CRAZY MASS MURDER MURDERED MY BABY GET HIM NOWNOWNOW
                then it makes a difference in how whatever the frick they make up is RECIEVED.

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                >If you sound rational (but not like a cold blooded psycho) to the cops and make an initial statement, and the other person isn't calm and comes off like a raving lunatic, that matters.
                Agreed
                >then it makes a difference in how whatever the frick they make up is RECIEVED.
                Also agreed. I guess for me I just think its safer to stay silent, I honestly don't know what I would do if I were in that situation.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >but cops can just lie to you and make shit the frick up
            The cops that you are going to interact with first have body worn cameras.

  5. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >Good evening, sir
    >Good evening
    We both go our ways.

  6. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Fixed your picture for you, anon

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Heh

  7. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    For ayoob you merely need to stand directly in front of him... if you enter his peripheral... you're dead. Matching your position with the direction of his head is the only guarenteed way to escape. All other options rely completely on luck.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Why do cops hold the one bit? These are just beat sticks not some ninja WMD

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        That's the entire point of the crossed shape. You grip it like a normal club when you really need to bonk someone, and on the jutting out cross part to block hits.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        What do you think that part is for?

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >basketweave
      "One of us, one of us !"

  8. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >mossad ayoo

  9. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I drop the slide of my handgun on an empty chamber and it makes this whiny boomer shit and piss his vest and activate his Life Alert. I escape in the ensuing chaos.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >I drop the slide of my handgun on an empty chamber and it makes this whiny boomer shit and piss his vest and activate his Life Alert.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Ken Hackathorn is the real deal. Ayoob is just a guy who was in the right place at the right time to get a bit of name recognition and nobody ever called him out on his bullshit.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          everyone associated with wilson combat is an irredeemable fudd

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            pootgay cope

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >Ayoob is just a guy who was in the right place at the right time to get a bit of name recognition
          I do wonder about his background. He was a New Hampshire cop, so he wasn't dealing with the same hard stuff as NYC cops of the 70s. It seems like he was just a firearms enthusiast who happened to be a cop, and at the time, people still believed that cops and others who carried guns for their job were knowledgeable about them and good at shooting, so Ayoob probably did look like an expert. In reality, he was just a guy who liked guns, but the badge made him an "expert". Keep in mind, this was still during the time when TV and comic books would not depict law enforcement officers in any negative manner, so that badge meant a lot to most people. Imagine if a /k/ tripgay got hired on to a small town police department, and because of that LEO experience, he is considered a leading firearms expert in 2054. That's Massad Ayoob.

  10. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I compliment his toupee. It’s nigh undetectable.

  11. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I point behind him, shout "Holy shit, is that a guy with a custom trigger job on his carry gun?" and escape in the ensuing confusion.

  12. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I ask for a sandwich.

  13. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Karate chop him right on the nose straight from above, that's his blind spot.

  14. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    ask for an autograph? i dont agree with some of what he says but the dudes practically an institution

  15. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I whisper him the codewords
    >Registered Magnum
    >ayy cee pee
    and then wink. He nods approvingly and walks away.

  16. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >fully stocked vest
    GOT SOME RARE THINGS ON SALE, STRANGER

  17. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    meow

  18. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    throw brass on the ground to distract him

  19. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I tickle him

  20. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I figure out which eye is fricked up and jump to that side.

  21. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Ask him about the lures he's been using and if I can see them and if he'd caught anything today

  22. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >"Ao what happened here?"
    "I DONT ANSWER QUESTIONS!"
    >"Well you have blood on you, we have reports of gunfire, and there is a corps-"
    "I DONT ANSWER QUESTIONS!"
    >"We have a moronic psycho here who apparently shot someone for asking questions, requesting backup, over"

  23. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    It amazes me that the simple nuance of managing optics for a self defense situation as well as information control to avoid saying too much until you have calmed down is so beyond these morons.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >It amazes me that the simple nuance of managing optics for a self defense situation
      Nuance is not the forte of the average direction brained moron that posts here. There are so many what-if possibilities in a SD that it is difficult to think them all through in advance, but these morons have one script:
      >Shoot bad guy
      >I got nuffin to say
      >Talk to muh lawya
      No thought to 911 calls, multiple assailants (did one or more flee? What do they look like?), do you try to provide aide or resuscitation to your assailant?

      >Based purely on political pressure. In other words, were it not for the politicization of the case it would never have gone to court, let alone result in an arrest. AFAIK, none of his statements to the police were used against him, and were even at issue in his trial. I was all about his 911 call statements and other irrelevant bullshit.
      Totally agree. My point was that convincing the cops you were justified doesn't mean much, its up to the DA to try and ruin your life or not. Either they look at surveillance camera footage and clear you or its he said he said and you go to trial anyway. Better to have your story told by a defense attorney.

      >Better to have your story told by a defense attorney.
      A simple, immediate, declaratory statement of what happened does not undermine your claim of SD in most cases. Under some circumstances it may actually bolster your claim of SD.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        If you are under investigation or being questioned there is NOTHING you can say to a police officer that would make your circumstance better than seeking legal counsel first. This is why when police get arrested, they advise their own to speak to a union attorney first.
        If you kill someone, in defense or not, it is extremely likely you are going to get arrested, even if you are in your own house, the guy was wearing a ski mask, and had a gun in their hand. A policeman's job is NOT to make a finding of fact. Their job is to collect evidence and to document whatever they saw, heard, and smelled. If you commit an act of self defense, there is probably very little to suggest you did NOT kill the guy, only that you did so out of fear for your life. A policeman is not tasked with finding out whether you truly were in danger of your life or not.
        If you ever find yourself in a legal pickle (short of a traffic ticket) you act calm, give over your personal identification, and politely but sternly invoke your 5th amendment privilege: "I WILL NOT ANSWER ANY QUESTIONS UNTIL I SPEAK WITH MY ATTORNEY."
        By talking to the police you are only trying to dig yourself out of a hole. Plus, if you are fricking stupid enough to attempt to "talk your way" out of a defensive gun use, you are probably just the right mixture of wienery and stupid enough to incriminate yourself.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Thank for your pseudo legal input moron.

  24. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Dry fire a 1911, he gets a stroke immediately and I escape unharmed.

  25. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >What do you do next?
    Hi, we are in a dark alley today so bear with gunfire in the foreground

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