You are now aware Les Stroud starred in a movie as himself and the very first scene is Les creeping into his friend’s house to get a look at his friend’s naked wife playing video games.
Les Stroud and his friend immediately fall into a pit, and his friend is having a meltdown seeing what supplies they have and the actual dialogue goes like this >OH LOOKIE HERE THE SURVIVORMAN TV SHOW KIT ONLY $4.95 LET’S SEE WHAT’S IN THIS MOTHERFRICKER SHALL WE? >WELL YOU GOT COOKING UTENSILS. THOSE’LL COME IN HANDY IN THIS HOLE. >OH LOOK AT THAT, A RAPE WHISTLE! HELP SURVIVORMAN I’M GETTING RAPED! >THERMAL BLANKET, ONE THERMAL FRICKING BLANKET… >A BULLSHIT KNIFE… >PIECE OF PLASTIC NO IDEA WHAT THIS IS, SURVIVORMAN CREDIT CARD PLATINUM EDITION. >AND A FRICKING COMPASS. >YOU SHOULD HAVE PROBABLY PUT IN THE FINE PRINT THAT THIS KIT DOESN’T HELP YOU IF YOU FALL INTO A FRICKING CAVE. >YOU BETTER HOPE WE GET OUT OF HERE. >IF WE DON’T, YOU’RE GONNA BE DEAD. >WITH THESE FRICKING HANDS RIGHT HERE YOU’LL BE DEAD. >NOW I’M GONNA DIE OUT HERE. >FRICK YOU AND YOUR GODDAMN DOG.
Everyone neglects the cup I say. For me, I think it’s neosporin and the cup. I think I can make a fire without matches since I’m not a sissy. Then you can boil water in the cup and even cook food. Ever get a scratch put sporin right on it. You’d be invincible.
>I think I can make a fire without matches since I’m not a sissy
I was a boy scout back in the day and I've made fire with just friction before. It's why I ALWAYS carry a pocket lighter despite not smoking. That shit's frustrating, difficult, and time consuming.
Flint and hatchet, maybe swap out depending on where and when. Flint's better when it's damp out compared to "waterproof" matches which are also much easier to inadvertently lose/destroy. Maybe if they were those big stormproof ones it'd be a more difficult choice.
Flint striker and the fishing line. That covers food and warmth.
>food being one of your immediate concerns in a survival situation
ngmi. Les constantly repeats how long people can go without food with the only main downside being increased lethargy.
You can die of infection so easily. Catching fish can easily give you a gnarly wound. If you’re stuck in the wild alone I’d be scared to not have it . “Real men” died like flies if they got an infection before antibiotics existed. Maybe full-monke people knew of special ferns or whatever they rub on themselves but we’ve long since lost our tune with nature + israelites decimating every inch of forest on Earth to make dollar generals and stuff.
Yeah because you live in a house and wash your hands and bathe. Now imagine you’re suddenly in the woods gutting fish and scraping your knees climbing cliffs and drinking pond water.
It’s like you’ve never watched the show. You want items that will help you immediately. Infected cuts will not immediately kill you same with gut parasites. You’re not planning for a month long stay in the wilderness
was waiting for someone to finally say this. the hatchet and flint striker is fine, but if its gonna be constantly rainy i want the striker and the blanket for easy shelter and to stay dry
why do you need to cut anything? theres a million branches on the fricking ground dipshit. 6th grade me made a badass shelter in the woods and they didnt give us gay hatchets for that field trip. but you can have the hatchet if youre less competent than 6th grade me
5 months ago
Anonymous
A hatchet is far and away the most useful tool you could have. Really could even dump the flint if you had one.
5 months ago
Anonymous
okay you can go looking for rocks while i get a fire going in two minutes
5 months ago
Anonymous
Hope you pick the flint because those matches area trap they're going to get damp very fast and not work plus even if the matches did work you can start more fires with the Flint of course I would choose a Bic lighter over either one
5 months ago
Anonymous
i did pick the flint and either the hatchet or blanket depending on the situation. would never pick matches
5 months ago
Anonymous
You should always pick the hatchet that little space blanket ain't going to do nothing for you it's going to rip and be useless you can build a shelter that will keep you warm with the hatchet and a fire
5 months ago
Anonymous
I would never spend time in the woods without a magnesium strip anyways.
5 months ago
Anonymous
i mean thats my favorite fire starting tool too. i only pick the flint striker because they dont have that on there. that other guy was trying to say hes gonna start fire with just an axe so i said yeah have fun looking for the right rock to make your fire with
You should always pick the hatchet that little space blanket ain't going to do nothing for you it's going to rip and be useless you can build a shelter that will keep you warm with the hatchet and a fire
you dont need a god damn hatchet to make a shelter from dead branches and leaf litter and youre going to have a shit time starting a fire with a god damn hatchet and some rock. go try it
5 months ago
Anonymous
>that other guy was trying to say hes gonna start fire with just an axe so i said yeah have fun looking for the right rock to make your fire with
That was me. Just saying its possible. I still think your blanket is a gay choice. I'd take the cup over the blanket.
5 months ago
Anonymous
it really is all situational too. i was just trying to make an argument that the blanket COULD be better than the hatchet, even though it is fricking gay.
hatchet is all around useful but it doesnt fulfill immediate needs. its still my #2 or #3 choice after the striker though
>blanket for easy shelter
A blanket isn't shelter.
Space blanket can be used to cover you whilst making a shelter. It's basically clothes and sleeping. Wind + rain is the worst weather combo and it'll help against both. Flint striker for fire obviously and will last way longer than matches and easier to keep in condition
You absolutely have to have the hatchet you're not going to be cold while you're making a shelter because you're going to be moving you're going to get cold when you stop moving and the only way you're going to start a fire is if you get dry wood dry wood can only be found in standing dead wood after you cut it down and split it the dry wood is in the middle a little sticks and leaves and s*** you find on the ground are going to be soaking wet and impossible to set on fire
Pigtail guy is a legit survalist from what I've heard and actually teaches to this day. The mustache guy was supposedly some sort of fraud who faked his military backgroud, so I guess I'd go with pigtails.
Frick this show was so comfy. After my parents finished watching the news there was some variation of Seinfeld or survivorman and then like The West Wing or whatever
Sitting by the fire with my dumb cat watching cozy shows TAKE ME BACK
I genuinely thought him and townsends were the same person
You are now aware Les Stroud starred in a movie as himself and the very first scene is Les creeping into his friend’s house to get a look at his friend’s naked wife playing video games.
Wait. What? Lmao
Les Stroud and his friend immediately fall into a pit, and his friend is having a meltdown seeing what supplies they have and the actual dialogue goes like this
>OH LOOKIE HERE THE SURVIVORMAN TV SHOW KIT ONLY $4.95 LET’S SEE WHAT’S IN THIS MOTHERFRICKER SHALL WE?
>WELL YOU GOT COOKING UTENSILS. THOSE’LL COME IN HANDY IN THIS HOLE.
>OH LOOK AT THAT, A RAPE WHISTLE! HELP SURVIVORMAN I’M GETTING RAPED!
>THERMAL BLANKET, ONE THERMAL FRICKING BLANKET…
>A BULLSHIT KNIFE…
>PIECE OF PLASTIC NO IDEA WHAT THIS IS, SURVIVORMAN CREDIT CARD PLATINUM EDITION.
>AND A FRICKING COMPASS.
>YOU SHOULD HAVE PROBABLY PUT IN THE FINE PRINT THAT THIS KIT DOESN’T HELP YOU IF YOU FALL INTO A FRICKING CAVE.
>YOU BETTER HOPE WE GET OUT OF HERE.
>IF WE DON’T, YOU’RE GONNA BE DEAD.
>WITH THESE FRICKING HANDS RIGHT HERE YOU’LL BE DEAD.
>NOW I’M GONNA DIE OUT HERE.
>FRICK YOU AND YOUR GODDAMN DOG.
what's the name of the movie
might just be called “Pit”
The Pit (2021)
is that tom green?
Thanks anon. This sounds like top tier kino. Gonna watch it tonight.
>The Pit (2021)
alright im gonna watch this, im a big les fan
Well I’m down for a Survivorman thread. Look at this list carefully, PrepHole and CHOOSE TWO and ONLY TWO. Could you surviv?
matches and hatchet
Flint striker and the fishing line. That covers food and warmth.
Everyone neglects the cup I say. For me, I think it’s neosporin and the cup. I think I can make a fire without matches since I’m not a sissy. Then you can boil water in the cup and even cook food. Ever get a scratch put sporin right on it. You’d be invincible.
You can boil water and cook without the cup. The cup is nice but fire is mandatory.
>I think I can make a fire without matches since I’m not a sissy
I was a boy scout back in the day and I've made fire with just friction before. It's why I ALWAYS carry a pocket lighter despite not smoking. That shit's frustrating, difficult, and time consuming.
Flint and hatchet, maybe swap out depending on where and when. Flint's better when it's damp out compared to "waterproof" matches which are also much easier to inadvertently lose/destroy. Maybe if they were those big stormproof ones it'd be a more difficult choice.
>food being one of your immediate concerns in a survival situation
ngmi. Les constantly repeats how long people can go without food with the only main downside being increased lethargy.
>antibiotics
That's cheating. Real men can manage without it
You can die of infection so easily. Catching fish can easily give you a gnarly wound. If you’re stuck in the wild alone I’d be scared to not have it . “Real men” died like flies if they got an infection before antibiotics existed. Maybe full-monke people knew of special ferns or whatever they rub on themselves but we’ve long since lost our tune with nature + israelites decimating every inch of forest on Earth to make dollar generals and stuff.
>You can die of infection so easily.
i have never died of infection and i get cuts and scratches all the time.
Yeah because you live in a house and wash your hands and bathe. Now imagine you’re suddenly in the woods gutting fish and scraping your knees climbing cliffs and drinking pond water.
It’s like you’ve never watched the show. You want items that will help you immediately. Infected cuts will not immediately kill you same with gut parasites. You’re not planning for a month long stay in the wilderness
you're only right about 1/3 of those assumptions and im innawoods erryday. pondwater is for shitting in, not drinking dumbdumb.
Flint/hatchet is objectively correct.
Hatchet and flint
Unless somewhere constantly warm, space blanket and flint striker.
was waiting for someone to finally say this. the hatchet and flint striker is fine, but if its gonna be constantly rainy i want the striker and the blanket for easy shelter and to stay dry
>blanket for easy shelter
A blanket isn't shelter.
you put it up in a pinch before you get your real shelter set up
You foolishly have no cutting tool. Good luck.
why do you need to cut anything? theres a million branches on the fricking ground dipshit. 6th grade me made a badass shelter in the woods and they didnt give us gay hatchets for that field trip. but you can have the hatchet if youre less competent than 6th grade me
A hatchet is far and away the most useful tool you could have. Really could even dump the flint if you had one.
okay you can go looking for rocks while i get a fire going in two minutes
Hope you pick the flint because those matches area trap they're going to get damp very fast and not work plus even if the matches did work you can start more fires with the Flint of course I would choose a Bic lighter over either one
i did pick the flint and either the hatchet or blanket depending on the situation. would never pick matches
You should always pick the hatchet that little space blanket ain't going to do nothing for you it's going to rip and be useless you can build a shelter that will keep you warm with the hatchet and a fire
I would never spend time in the woods without a magnesium strip anyways.
i mean thats my favorite fire starting tool too. i only pick the flint striker because they dont have that on there. that other guy was trying to say hes gonna start fire with just an axe so i said yeah have fun looking for the right rock to make your fire with
you dont need a god damn hatchet to make a shelter from dead branches and leaf litter and youre going to have a shit time starting a fire with a god damn hatchet and some rock. go try it
>that other guy was trying to say hes gonna start fire with just an axe so i said yeah have fun looking for the right rock to make your fire with
That was me. Just saying its possible. I still think your blanket is a gay choice. I'd take the cup over the blanket.
it really is all situational too. i was just trying to make an argument that the blanket COULD be better than the hatchet, even though it is fricking gay.
hatchet is all around useful but it doesnt fulfill immediate needs. its still my #2 or #3 choice after the striker though
Space blanket can be used to cover you whilst making a shelter. It's basically clothes and sleeping. Wind + rain is the worst weather combo and it'll help against both. Flint striker for fire obviously and will last way longer than matches and easier to keep in condition
You absolutely have to have the hatchet you're not going to be cold while you're making a shelter because you're going to be moving you're going to get cold when you stop moving and the only way you're going to start a fire is if you get dry wood dry wood can only be found in standing dead wood after you cut it down and split it the dry wood is in the middle a little sticks and leaves and s*** you find on the ground are going to be soaking wet and impossible to set on fire
Two bags of jerky, please.
flint striker
hatchet
>fishing line
thats a leader how much line am I getting and what kinda line?
We're dropping you off in the Sahara desert you can have as much fishing line as you can carry if you want
Insane mode rope and ointment you gonna be a missing 411 story from sure
Just the rope
To have a nice day when you realize there's no hope?
Task: Survive 1 day in Aokigahara forest
I fricking dare you
Matches so I can start fires easilly
Neosporin so I'm invincible to damage
>Dis homie eaten Neosporin
>he's a bigfoot-chad
You can only pick one to be your survival guide.
Easily neither of them
Pigtail guy is a legit survalist from what I've heard and actually teaches to this day. The mustache guy was supposedly some sort of fraud who faked his military backgroud, so I guess I'd go with pigtails.
Alright. Lets get those shoes off then.
Cody.
Everyone gives him so much crap for being shoeless. It's hilarious especially when Joe lashes out at him in the Norway episode.
It’s stupid because natives from the a lot of those areas that they went to traditionally did wear shoes.
You're right. A lot of the time the Natives never wore shoes.
Hippie guy, camo guy has way too much gear to trust and has camo gear.
survivorman is a comfy show. i used to watch it to help me sleep
Frick this show was so comfy. After my parents finished watching the news there was some variation of Seinfeld or survivorman and then like The West Wing or whatever
Sitting by the fire with my dumb cat watching cozy shows TAKE ME BACK
The episode where Ray Mears built a canoe with some dude was the ultimate kino.
They get some old Indian guy to come in and check it out and he goes "I'd just throw it in the trash" lmaos