Something to scare away retards

I work a night shift reception at a hotel in a downtown area, mainly my job consists of checking in very few guests and mostly just keeping an eye out for crazies and people trying to break in. It's an old building and so I currently have to grab the mace and run down a flight of stairs if I'm to stop the homeless from fricking with door or pissing on the porch area. I've maced a few people but really I don't like risking getting into physical altercations with people that have nothing to lose, all it takes is one mistake on my part and who the frick knows. They usually see me coming through the glass door and take off but I was wondering if there was a better solution, because I don't want them pissing at all or even just snooping around.
There's a camera on the front door so I can see when they're there, would it be super simple and easy to make something like a reverse doorbell where I press a button and it makes a loud noise? It's mostly homeless people looking for cigarettes (there aren't any we clean regularly) or pissing, we have had a few try to break in before, but I think if they're looking around and shit and then all of the sudden a loud buzz or alarm sound goes off that they'd just take off and I wouldn't have to worry about any physical altercations.
I'm not really that experienced with DIY stuff but I know this board exists so I thought why not ask.

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  1. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    get a wireless intercom. tell them to frickoff or you call the cops. or.. play siren sounds thru it as if the cops are on their way.

    either than or go pop a cap in their bum ass

  2. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Add more fake cameras, and buy a laser pointer.

  3. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    24/7 classical music

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      but then you just end up attracting hipsters, which are equal to or worse than homeless.

      hipsters are basically homeless people who are offended at everything and will sue.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        but hipsters listen to Black jazz slave songs on wax cylinders played through an ediphone. Classical music is the bane of hipster existence.

  4. 1 year ago
    Anonymous
  5. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Also a slightly more sophisticated version. I agree with what other anons have said with rigging up an intercom, cameras, "cameras", and the classical music. I'm a big fan of Chopin.

  6. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Get yourself a laser pointer, red or green. When they see it they'll know they are being watched, if they ignore you, point it to their eyes.

  7. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    just play nickleback, that'd certainly make me leave

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      they say that a hero can save us
      i'm not gonna stand here and weigh-eeeeeeeeeeeet

  8. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Certified doorway pisser here. You sound like a droid, and I hate your kind. That is all. Next time you smell red wine, you think of me.

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