Don't you know how easy it is to extract 1.1m from penniless California transplants and buy full auto machine guns and set up trust funds for all of your grandkids and still have enough left over to donate to the local police department?
This happened to me when I was in college a long time ago. Still the weirdest thing to happen to me by far.
>Driving from U of Oregon in Eugene back home to Boise for fall break >get started late, by the time I hit central Oregon it’s dark >for those not familiar with the area, once you get east of the Cascades, it starts to get real isolated real fricking quick >driving on 2 lane highway through the dark when I hit something in the road >probably some shit that fell off someone’s truck >engine starts making weird noises and check engine light comes on >FRICK >start looking for place to pull off and try to find a mechanic >pull onto this farm to market road >drive about a mile and see a farm supply store with the lights still on >couple locals sitting outside, drinking and smoking >I get out and try to introduce myself, but they’re acting bizarre as frick >start losing their shit over how nice my car is and how they never see anything like it out there >…my car is some rusted piece of shit imported from god knows where >next they start talking about how amazing my shoes are >my broke ass literally bought these shoes from some tweaker in downtown Portland after my old ones gave out >creeped out by these guys, decide to go inside >kind looking old dude at the counter >when he sees me walk in, he starts ranting incomprehensibly about some numbers that grow in the soil (?) >wtf is this place >look around the shop, pretty typical looking country store >look in one of the seed bins >it’s filled with fricking gummy bears >alright frick this >rush out of there, decide to take my chances with the car
I’ve driven down that road multiple times since, but I’ve never been able to find that weird fricking gummy bear store again. I try not to think about it.
Hello sir, my name is Opal, and I'm from an organization called the Foundation for Services, Commerce and Pitstops. We're a contracted organization, working for the government that tracks anomalous shops, mechanics, service stations, and stations involved in transit or travel over distances.
We'd be quite interested in hearing your story. Would you be available for an in person interview at a local governmental department? If so, when would this suit you?
Ahh yes.
Conflict resolutions.
If anons dad was a cop or shit he shouldn't be such a b***h. California woman shouldn't be a lying tramp either, but this could have been settled in under an hour if either decided to put on their big boy/girl pants that day.
"Hey, why the hell did you hit me and take my gun?"
"I'm sorry I thought you were a criminal."
"How?"
"You were carrying a gun and skulking through bushes doing shifty shit."
"It's an open carry state. I carry because we've had some recent gang concerns here. I was gardening."
"Hoh shit. Sorry about bashing you in the head then."
"All good. You didn't know me or the local demographic, and were acting at personal hazard for selfless action. The error wasn't your own. You just didn't know."
But no. Hell, OD cops don't even do it right. They should be the ones forcing this path, not picking sides and shit.
Good thing that story was utter bullshit, because that woman could sue the fricking courts for ten times what he got.
>"Hoh shit. Sorry about bashing you in the head then."
"I know you tried to kill me and even if that wasnt the intent you could have but all is forgiven"
Really homosexual?
Also yes. Shit's over. Now if he'd been actually genuinely affected, with skull fractures and impairment, taking her to court for her to pay fees is perfectly fine. But he got up, walked around fine, charged her after looking at his gun, and then later down the line, and only four months later is he claiming headaches.
But in reality, functional humans don't go to court. They sort their shit outside it. Courts and lawyers are for people who can't manage to do that and act reasonable.
>functional humans don't go to court. They sort their shit outside it.
You mean morons. You're the reasonpeople can hit others in the back of the head with a baseball bat and since nothing happened it's all ok, we're rational and don't go to the mean civil courts!
Frick off homosexual, Im using the state to crush your reasonable ass.
Your take on this story is interesting but has a flaw. At what point would you expect a person who bashes people in the head from behind and robs them, to engage in a civilian and reasonable conversation with their target afterwards?
When you know why. Obviously.
And asking "Why did you do it" to the woman who's obviously worked up and stressed out isn't even rookie policework. It's amateur policework, larp policework.
I'm in training to be a Cop. I have a bunch of Cop friends, or friends who know or are related to cops. My Great Uncle was in the Armed Offenders, as was my closest friends father, and both hunted escaped Nazi's post WW2.
No Cop worth their salt would not pick up that that was a crime of fear or desperation.
Now I can forgive friends dad for being pissy, but the OD cops should absolutely have picked up both sides, and moved to conflict resolution, as should have friends Dad after collecting himself.
This kind of shit isn't just cut and dry absolutes, which is how you tell a real cop story from a fake like this, with goodies and baddies and shit in the story. Real stories have angles, perspectives, and mess, and how you tell them apart is the resolution will be messy, cover all sides, and often the resulting instructions from Police will seem morally unfair or unrighteous, but they get the job done in resolution. This was the opposite.
Now of course, they could just all be shit cops, which is not improbable, until you get to the last bit where le ebil woman got 65 years in jail and paid out 1.1Mill to friends Dad, who of course spent it wisely.
You do realize that if the cop had not been taken out by the first blow, he would have been in his full right to blow the soccer mom attacker's brains out as soon as he could line up the gun? When a cop gets hit these days it is entirely reasonable there could be 'Allahu Akbar' screaming accompanied with it. Throats get sliced. It's not 1952 any more. If you want to be a cop, put aside the notion that people are reasonable and wish you well. Or the first casualty in your career will be you.
>If you want to be a cop, put aside the notion that people are reasonable and wish you well. Or the first casualty in your career will be you.
It's safer than driving a school bus or delivering pizza, calm down.
When you know why. Obviously.
And asking "Why did you do it" to the woman who's obviously worked up and stressed out isn't even rookie policework. It's amateur policework, larp policework.
I'm in training to be a Cop. I have a bunch of Cop friends, or friends who know or are related to cops. My Great Uncle was in the Armed Offenders, as was my closest friends father, and both hunted escaped Nazi's post WW2.
No Cop worth their salt would not pick up that that was a crime of fear or desperation.
Now I can forgive friends dad for being pissy, but the OD cops should absolutely have picked up both sides, and moved to conflict resolution, as should have friends Dad after collecting himself.
This kind of shit isn't just cut and dry absolutes, which is how you tell a real cop story from a fake like this, with goodies and baddies and shit in the story. Real stories have angles, perspectives, and mess, and how you tell them apart is the resolution will be messy, cover all sides, and often the resulting instructions from Police will seem morally unfair or unrighteous, but they get the job done in resolution. This was the opposite.
Now of course, they could just all be shit cops, which is not improbable, until you get to the last bit where le ebil woman got 65 years in jail and paid out 1.1Mill to friends Dad, who of course spent it wisely.
>Real stories have angles, perspectives, and mess
It's not a novel, it's a greentext about AG Assault. Rational people don't bushwack their neighbors with a softball bat because they're afraid of their open carry firearm. I still don't think it happened, but if the two base facts of the situation were real (off duty cop got hit with a softball bat while trimming his bushes, perpetrator was a holophobe with simple opportunity and not someone with other motive planning an ambush), then odds are that any theoretical perpetrator capable of carrying out that crime would also be a psycho in other aspects of her life.
So this women, out of fear, charged a man who was in his own property weeding his own garden, not behaving threateningly at all, because he was carrying a gun in a holster? And the lie about it? Are you fricking high? Am I being baited? How is that possibly a reasonable reaction?
>live in Mississippi >hot as balls, so i decide to open carry >finished buying food and heading home >stopped for gas at local truck stop >notice a bunch of cars from texas getting gas >think nothing of it at first, walk inside >i pass by a bunch of hispanics who all start whispering to themselves, and pointing at my gun
while i'm getting a drink they follow me around the store >in checkout lane, overhear one of them say they should rush me and take the gun >turn around and tell them in spanish "that will be the last mistake you make", and go back to checking out >they get startled i knew spanish and decide to use another checkout lane >as i walk out to my car, i notice them scowling at me >ignore them and head back home to post this
Nah, happens to people all the time. Anyone tells the police, they just send over a couple of bandaids and a funny mug with a smiley face on. If a kid or a woman or a minority preteen girl happens to be clubbed down, they might even get a pat on the head. Can't make a fuss you know.
Of course it is fake. But gay? Would a gay write a story making jokes of a soccer mom? It would probably be a far right winger chosen for that role. "This neonazi saw a black guy with a gun and went on the attack not knowing he was striking at a serving officer and Medal of Honor recipient" sort of thing.
what are they doing on the big screens?
Monitoring your mother's weight
It's a click farm.
>jumpsuits
That fricking story has more holes then fricking Swiss cheese
Don't you know how easy it is to extract 1.1m from penniless California transplants and buy full auto machine guns and set up trust funds for all of your grandkids and still have enough left over to donate to the local police department?
>penniless California transplants
>penniless
>glock 26
>polished slide
>i live all alone
Consider yourself blessed. You have nobody to b***h that you're up clearing the house at 2am again.
This happened to me when I was in college a long time ago. Still the weirdest thing to happen to me by far.
>Driving from U of Oregon in Eugene back home to Boise for fall break
>get started late, by the time I hit central Oregon it’s dark
>for those not familiar with the area, once you get east of the Cascades, it starts to get real isolated real fricking quick
>driving on 2 lane highway through the dark when I hit something in the road
>probably some shit that fell off someone’s truck
>engine starts making weird noises and check engine light comes on
>FRICK
>start looking for place to pull off and try to find a mechanic
>pull onto this farm to market road
>drive about a mile and see a farm supply store with the lights still on
>couple locals sitting outside, drinking and smoking
>I get out and try to introduce myself, but they’re acting bizarre as frick
>start losing their shit over how nice my car is and how they never see anything like it out there
>…my car is some rusted piece of shit imported from god knows where
>next they start talking about how amazing my shoes are
>my broke ass literally bought these shoes from some tweaker in downtown Portland after my old ones gave out
>creeped out by these guys, decide to go inside
>kind looking old dude at the counter
>when he sees me walk in, he starts ranting incomprehensibly about some numbers that grow in the soil (?)
>wtf is this place
>look around the shop, pretty typical looking country store
>look in one of the seed bins
>it’s filled with fricking gummy bears
>alright frick this
>rush out of there, decide to take my chances with the car
I’ve driven down that road multiple times since, but I’ve never been able to find that weird fricking gummy bear store again. I try not to think about it.
Hello sir, my name is Opal, and I'm from an organization called the Foundation for Services, Commerce and Pitstops. We're a contracted organization, working for the government that tracks anomalous shops, mechanics, service stations, and stations involved in transit or travel over distances.
We'd be quite interested in hearing your story. Would you be available for an in person interview at a local governmental department? If so, when would this suit you?
Sneed
Ahh yes.
Conflict resolutions.
If anons dad was a cop or shit he shouldn't be such a b***h. California woman shouldn't be a lying tramp either, but this could have been settled in under an hour if either decided to put on their big boy/girl pants that day.
"Hey, why the hell did you hit me and take my gun?"
"I'm sorry I thought you were a criminal."
"How?"
"You were carrying a gun and skulking through bushes doing shifty shit."
"It's an open carry state. I carry because we've had some recent gang concerns here. I was gardening."
"Hoh shit. Sorry about bashing you in the head then."
"All good. You didn't know me or the local demographic, and were acting at personal hazard for selfless action. The error wasn't your own. You just didn't know."
But no. Hell, OD cops don't even do it right. They should be the ones forcing this path, not picking sides and shit.
Good thing that story was utter bullshit, because that woman could sue the fricking courts for ten times what he got.
>"Hoh shit. Sorry about bashing you in the head then."
"I know you tried to kill me and even if that wasnt the intent you could have but all is forgiven"
Really homosexual?
Also yes. Shit's over. Now if he'd been actually genuinely affected, with skull fractures and impairment, taking her to court for her to pay fees is perfectly fine. But he got up, walked around fine, charged her after looking at his gun, and then later down the line, and only four months later is he claiming headaches.
But in reality, functional humans don't go to court. They sort their shit outside it. Courts and lawyers are for people who can't manage to do that and act reasonable.
>functional humans don't go to court. They sort their shit outside it.
You mean morons. You're the reasonpeople can hit others in the back of the head with a baseball bat and since nothing happened it's all ok, we're rational and don't go to the mean civil courts!
Frick off homosexual, Im using the state to crush your reasonable ass.
Your take on this story is interesting but has a flaw. At what point would you expect a person who bashes people in the head from behind and robs them, to engage in a civilian and reasonable conversation with their target afterwards?
When you know why. Obviously.
And asking "Why did you do it" to the woman who's obviously worked up and stressed out isn't even rookie policework. It's amateur policework, larp policework.
I'm in training to be a Cop. I have a bunch of Cop friends, or friends who know or are related to cops. My Great Uncle was in the Armed Offenders, as was my closest friends father, and both hunted escaped Nazi's post WW2.
No Cop worth their salt would not pick up that that was a crime of fear or desperation.
Now I can forgive friends dad for being pissy, but the OD cops should absolutely have picked up both sides, and moved to conflict resolution, as should have friends Dad after collecting himself.
This kind of shit isn't just cut and dry absolutes, which is how you tell a real cop story from a fake like this, with goodies and baddies and shit in the story. Real stories have angles, perspectives, and mess, and how you tell them apart is the resolution will be messy, cover all sides, and often the resulting instructions from Police will seem morally unfair or unrighteous, but they get the job done in resolution. This was the opposite.
Now of course, they could just all be shit cops, which is not improbable, until you get to the last bit where le ebil woman got 65 years in jail and paid out 1.1Mill to friends Dad, who of course spent it wisely.
You do realize that if the cop had not been taken out by the first blow, he would have been in his full right to blow the soccer mom attacker's brains out as soon as he could line up the gun? When a cop gets hit these days it is entirely reasonable there could be 'Allahu Akbar' screaming accompanied with it. Throats get sliced. It's not 1952 any more. If you want to be a cop, put aside the notion that people are reasonable and wish you well. Or the first casualty in your career will be you.
>If you want to be a cop, put aside the notion that people are reasonable and wish you well. Or the first casualty in your career will be you.
It's safer than driving a school bus or delivering pizza, calm down.
>Real stories have angles, perspectives, and mess
It's not a novel, it's a greentext about AG Assault. Rational people don't bushwack their neighbors with a softball bat because they're afraid of their open carry firearm. I still don't think it happened, but if the two base facts of the situation were real (off duty cop got hit with a softball bat while trimming his bushes, perpetrator was a holophobe with simple opportunity and not someone with other motive planning an ambush), then odds are that any theoretical perpetrator capable of carrying out that crime would also be a psycho in other aspects of her life.
So this women, out of fear, charged a man who was in his own property weeding his own garden, not behaving threateningly at all, because he was carrying a gun in a holster? And the lie about it? Are you fricking high? Am I being baited? How is that possibly a reasonable reaction?
>My Great Uncle was in the Armed Offenders, as was my closest friends father, and both hunted escaped Nazi's post WW2.
You're a israelite.
Unironically have a nice day
let me guess, you justify Black person behavior as some kind of harmless prank too.
Too bad the cop didn't suffer permanent damage, b***h shoulda hit harder but what can you expect from a limp wristed californian
Nice fantasy epic you got there. Better than Tolkien.
>live in Mississippi
>hot as balls, so i decide to open carry
>finished buying food and heading home
>stopped for gas at local truck stop
>notice a bunch of cars from texas getting gas
>think nothing of it at first, walk inside
>i pass by a bunch of hispanics who all start whispering to themselves, and pointing at my gun
while i'm getting a drink they follow me around the store
>in checkout lane, overhear one of them say they should rush me and take the gun
>turn around and tell them in spanish "that will be the last mistake you make", and go back to checking out
>they get startled i knew spanish and decide to use another checkout lane
>as i walk out to my car, i notice them scowling at me
>ignore them and head back home to post this
>i'm supposed to cheer for this story about some cop and his cop buddies conspiring to put someone in prison for life for a minor assault
Frick pigs
What the frick is a "minor assault?" Hitting someone in the head with a bat and stealing their gun is not fricking minor.
Nah, happens to people all the time. Anyone tells the police, they just send over a couple of bandaids and a funny mug with a smiley face on. If a kid or a woman or a minority preteen girl happens to be clubbed down, they might even get a pat on the head. Can't make a fuss you know.
extremely fake and gay story OP. reminds me of one of those ragecomics
Of course it is fake. But gay? Would a gay write a story making jokes of a soccer mom? It would probably be a far right winger chosen for that role. "This neonazi saw a black guy with a gun and went on the attack not knowing he was striking at a serving officer and Medal of Honor recipient" sort of thing.