Natural defenses

Can we discuss landscaping and other passive defenses that could help us?

I have heard of rose bushes under windows and thorny bushes as hedges around property. I need more ideas.

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  1. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Rabbits or gophers digging ankle twisting holes for thieves to cripple themselves in the dark

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Dude, you joke but I once, midspring, across my neighbor land almost ripped my fricking ankle off in a groundhog burrow.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Dude, you joke but I once, midspring, across my neighbor land almost ripped my fricking ankle off in a groundhog burrow.

      Either me or someone I was with absolutely fricking ate shit because of a groundhog/rabbit/whatever hole as a kid. Anon I totally forgot about that memory. I don't even remember where the frick that was.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Rabbits can also disable invaders' firearms by tying a knot in the barrel

  2. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    The entire state of Arizona
    >entire front and backyard is gravel, very loud to walk on no matter how careful you tread
    >every bush and plant is sharp and wants to kill you
    >any local pests and critters want to sting, bite, and kill you
    >during the day all surfaces are 500 degrees
    >almost every suburban neighborhood home has a walled in backyard
    Not to mention every single person owns several firearms

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      This sounds like a home defense system I'd make in minecraft.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      my favorite are these cat's claw bushes. they're kinda vine like but not really and they grow in massive thickets. it's really cool when you step forward and one wraps around your leg just right and tightens down.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        oh I fricking hate Cat's Claw

        This sounds like a home defense system I'd make in minecraft.

        teddy bear cholla. look it up.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Those chollas are no joke. As a kid I walked by one and saw a little bird with a thorn ball stuck in its body. I bent over and helped get it off. Saved it and he flew off, felt pretty good. Then I stood up right into a branch of them. Got a whole ass clump in my head. God bless Arizona

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      you forgot the best part:
      a fent zombie lurking in every shadow!

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Fent zombies aren't an Arizona thing. You're thinking of New Mexico or California.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Na I actually just started seeing them.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Arizona is a proud meth state.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      hello fellow AZ chad
      >prickly pear or cholla in your house's blind spots
      >ocotillo fence
      >make segments of mesquite branches with the 4 inch thorns and place them where you dont want walkers/bikers
      also fent zombies are real. saw one chilling in the road last week

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        do you have boxthorn and goats head ?
        I've had some boxthorns go though my shoes and break off inside my toes, not so good.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      hello fellow AZ chad
      >prickly pear or cholla in your house's blind spots
      >ocotillo fence
      >make segments of mesquite branches with the 4 inch thorns and place them where you dont want walkers/bikers
      also fent zombies are real. saw one chilling in the road last week

      Why does everything in the Sonoran desert have to have thorns?
      t. Arizonan

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >entire front and backyard is gravel, very loud to walk on no matter how careful you tread
      How the frick do you walk quiet on this shit, seriously? I hunt and the amount of state hunting land that uses GRAVEL FRICKING PATHS is insane. I can be near silent if I move like 300-500yds each half hour or worse but it's not exactly time efficient.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        just dont walk on rocks bro

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Easy to say until the morons who take care of the layout make it the only option. Though often the grass in the center is the best option as it's at least padded. Or walk in the fields if the grass is good for it. It's really a mess.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        big ass foam-rubber snowshoes

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          I tried some oversized slip-over stuffing filled boot covers and I think it made even snow louder. I never tried it on anything else other than grass (which also got louder) though as they're mostly for keeping your feet warm. I've tried felt "moccasins" and they seemed to work if you could balance the padding to "being able to feel the ground without having immense foot pain" ratio. Also I actually have foam soled snow boots with some rubber glued to the base as soles and I should see if that does anything. I also have, somewhere, some foam based running shoes that are worn to frick and no longer have a single bit of rubber on them, or at least very little left; they might be quiet, although likely in a bright as frick color scheme.

          It sounds silly but especially early in the season I can literally walk up on foxes just doing their thing if I have a good day staying silent while walking at the right times. Most of the season I can even walk up on squirrels within 30yds or less, especially if they're facing a good direction. I'm not even kidding when I say one of the last shots I took last season (two or three in a row?) were within 25 feet. One within like 15. They were eating on the other side of the tree and I just walked up and tried to find a good angle then waited for them to finish eating if I didn't have one. They reveal themselves.

  3. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Locust trees are great. Black locust grow crazy quick and spread by runners and honey locust thorns are long and hard enough to puncture tires.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Locust trees are fricking evil bastards. They grow fast and your neighbors will hate you if you plant them on purpose, especially if they have pastures. A ring of these things with some rose hedges would probably force all kinds of two legged vermin to approach your home through the official drive.

  4. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I had 65 acres in western NC. The wild rose was tough to cut even with my steel bladed FS-250. Brambles/blackberry is tough but wild rose will frick anything up.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Mountain acres sounds nice. I'm trying to get land out in Swans quarter for retirement.

  5. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Himalayan Blackberries grow like weeds and are covered in sharp thorns, growing them around the perimeter of your property basically guarantees no one is going to approach through there without clearing the brush first. Only downside is they might try to consume your entire yard.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      can be countered with a couple of long pieces of plywood, just lay one down, wak over it, lay the next one down and so on
      it's how we used to get the berries from the center of a large bush
      my friends and I also did it at night near the highschool we went to and made a little hideout in the center of a huge overgrown mass of stickers
      awkward, but viable

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >Need animals to eat your fruit for seed dispersal
      >Punish animals foolish enough to try to eat fruit
      Why are plants like this

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        its safe for birds, which are their primary dispersers, being able to spread seeds hundreds of miles away with the added fertilizer mix they prefer

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          I suppose that does make sense, but you'd think for the amount of berries a plant can produce they'd be happy with anything eating and shitting them out. I guess evolution isn't driven by what could be, rather what just works. But now I wonder, how come the thorns don't frick the birds up too?

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Small birds are just good at dealing with thorns I guess. I've never seen anything bigger than a robin go after bushes like that.
            Hot peppers work the same way, btw. Birds are not affected by capsaicin, almost guaranteeing that the seed will get spread far and wide by them

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            i'd imagine sometimes it does poke a bird or two, but generally, birds are shockingly agile & mindful
            with the amount of berries, its best to give them the most optimal form of dispersal, it'll still be a larger chance for success in the end
            if a racoon was eating them, its not really gonna stray too far from the bush & it's turds aren't going to be a good fertilizer
            birds commonly know where the berry bushes are & also able to spot them easily, leading to whatever berries that are ready to be harvested, all being harvested for the day
            whatever berries that aren't harvested & drop on the ground are fair game though

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >how come the thorns don't frick the birds up too?
            Imagine if the thorns were a foot wide and fairly blunt, and you begin to understand how scale effects the situation.

  6. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    They used to say black locust would make a hedge deer high, pig dense and bull strong (something like that).

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >They used to say black locust would make a hedge deer high, pig dense and bull strong (something like that)
      You are thinking of Osage orange (the big green monkey brain balls) you can weave them together as they grow. They also will live for a long time.
      Not vegetarian but my neighbor keeps hounds for the rich fox hunting people. You can sneak past 1 dog it is completely impossible to get past 50 of them lol.
      As a passive defense bees work well. An anon on here recommended it and I have beehives anyway so I put one right by my driveway/entryway to the house alot of people freeze in their tracks. I’m going to save some wasp nest as scarecrows to put around also.
      Maybe some fake snakes to get some screams
      Skunk decoys
      Classic dog decoy filled with tannerite
      Bat decoys in case they are scared of bats.
      I already have electric fence everywhere for my livestock and visitors are scared of
      Them
      “Caution high voltage”
      I really like dogs though especially when out camping in the woods it’s hard to sneak up on a Malinois

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >Skunk decoys
        BTW you can buy the spray. A couple drops of that stuff in the soil will last weeks if not months and leave the scent in the air for quite a while.
        t. fricked up skinning a skunk frick oh shit oh frick (and I know better!)

  7. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    pic related. it's a climbing vine, so you can put it on fences and stuff. it looks pretty, but it secretes an oil that burns like a motherfricker if it touches your skin, let alone once it pokes a hole in you, and then your blood is boiling.

  8. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I was born and raised in Hawaii and I think I have PTSD from the centipedes (and the massive fricking roaches). I would not want to crawl through dense vegetation there. They won't kill you but they look like they were pulled from my nightmares.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      The flying wienerroach is the unofficial state bird of Hawaii.

  9. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >surround yard in hitch hiker plants to ward of thieves
    >get dogs to alert and scare off thieves
    >waste entire day removing hitchhikers from interior yard and from dogs

  10. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Trifoliate Orange
    >thorns are 1 to 2 inches long
    >thorns cause contact dermatitis that also blisters in sunlight
    >CIA approved as a natural barbed wire, a thicket can reportedly stop a speeding semitruck
    >creates fruits that can be eaten
    >good up to zone 6
    >hardy against disease
    >lasts for decades
    >makes for great hedges

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >thorns cause contact dermatitis that also blisters in sunlight
      Okay these are all great ideas, and I have hypothetically considered thorny bushes as aesthetically pleasing obstacles. But are they safe around kids, pets and birds? And how the frick do you trim it? If it's possible to manage enough to trim, why not use razor wire, which you also don't have to trim

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        just tell the kids not to frick with it, same as having a rosebush around kids, pets are so-so, just depends on the pet, and birds are fine
        you can trim it like any other thorn bush, just have a good pair of gloves, a quality cutter, and a careful hand
        the reason not to have razor wire, is because people don't exactly like it when you start coiling out bands of it in your yard, makes you look like a fricking lunatic, feds'll also get on your ass for that too

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >feds'll also get on your ass for that too
          Gonna need source on that, because that's ridiculous provided it doesn't pose a public hazard or HOA. If razor wire is too nutty for you there is always barbed wire. And arguably, it is more difficult to deal with metal thorns on top of a fence than deal with natural thorns at ground level

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            idk about "feds" but its probably against the zoning code in your city

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            something something mental wellness check
            something something signs of paranoia
            something something institutionalization
            if you don't legit know about this, please come back when when you've lurked more

            • 3 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              Got any examples to share? If (You) put up razor wire, I would definitely count those as a possibility, but for the non-schizos among us, big X Doubt. Because why stop there? CIA approved natural barbed wire is definitely more unhinged than regular razor wire for your nosy neighbor. What about fence too tall? Maybe house too menacing or you seemingly never leave the house?

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                dont feed the board tourists

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                i don't have any saved on my drive, and i'm not gonna fight a search engine
                the "CIA approved natural barbed wire" is also a common hedge in urban areas, and is also used as root stock for citrus trees everywhere

                i don't really know what you want from this conversation, its just a fricking bush with thorns on it, not a god damn mounted CROWS system
                if you want a fence, go build a fricking fence, jesus man

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                >i don't really know what you want from this conversation
                You put forward the idea that you'll be put on a watchlist for using razor wire (assuming you are not violating any residential codes, which vary), and I was simply trying to figure out if there's any merit to it especially in relation to using natural defenses

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                look man
                its not a guarantee, but its the same problem with redflag laws
                all it takes is some old crotchety b***h to say "the man outside is scaring me!!!", and when the cops come over, they see your house covered in razor wire bundles, and immediately think "aw frick, waco 2.0", and just as you're browsing your phone on the toilet, happily taking a fat shit, a guy calls you asking you to "think about your family" & "not to do anything rash", and now you know why that helicopter outside was so loud

                just go spend like $2000 on lumber for a tall fence or plant a bunch of rose bushes & tell your wife its a surprise gift, worse case scenario is that your property value will rise

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            The first and foremost security is camouflage. Putting razor wire around your property will attract cops and Black folk.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            something something mental wellness check
            something something signs of paranoia
            something something institutionalization
            if you don't legit know about this, please come back when when you've lurked more

            Got any examples to share? If (You) put up razor wire, I would definitely count those as a possibility, but for the non-schizos among us, big X Doubt. Because why stop there? CIA approved natural barbed wire is definitely more unhinged than regular razor wire for your nosy neighbor. What about fence too tall? Maybe house too menacing or you seemingly never leave the house?

            it’s a non-native species AKA invasive. Less likely to get visits from the FBI and more likely to get visits from USDA or some other fed/state agency depending on where you grow and how much you grow it.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          I've spent 5 minutes trying to find the abstract merchant here, someone give me a hand

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous
          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            https://i.imgur.com/MEMYvPM.jpeg

            lmao

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Sometimes, a bush is just a bush and there is no merchant.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Another possibility.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >a good pair of gloves, a quality cutter

          doesn't really cut it. you need THREE pairs, some long-ass pliers, and a freakin' sawzall to do it efficiently without getting poked.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      that's some fantasy looking stuff.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Man that plant looks really weird.

  11. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    can confirm. rose bushes under my window. let them go until the HOA revoked my pool pass. when I had to cut them, it took THREE FRICKING LAYERS of leather gloves to not get poked.

  12. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    What’s that Australian stinging tree that’s so bad it has a body count from suicides?

  13. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >D. moroides is notorious for its extremely painful sting which may leave victims suffering for weeks or even months. It is reputed to be the most venomous plant in Australia, if not the world. After contact with the plant the victim will feel an immediate severe burning and stinging at the site of contact, which then intensifies further over the next 20 to 30 minutes and will last from hours to several days before subsiding. During this time the victim may get little sleep because of the intensity of the pain

    Bonus effect: Painkillers do not work on it. It causes pain in a method via a path currently not understood

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >Australia
      While genuinely interesting, I'd rather not introduce an invasive species. Fascinating read through.

      https://i.imgur.com/6Hgfr2b.jpeg

      When I lived in South Korea, a lot of the older houses had concrete walls around them that were full of shards of broken soju and beer bottles around them. I always thought that was cool.

      Pic not mine but it looked like this, some had them coating the outside too.

      Pretty sure those are illegal in most civilised countries, now they just use sharp flint

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      hidden side effect, dont breathe near it.
      its effects are also aerosolized and will damage your lungs.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Why the frick would you surround your house with that?

  14. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    When I lived in South Korea, a lot of the older houses had concrete walls around them that were full of shards of broken soju and beer bottles around them. I always thought that was cool.

    Pic not mine but it looked like this, some had them coating the outside too.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >cool
      lots of shithole countries have that
      we call it "ghetto barbed wire"
      it's easily knocked off and screams "rob me rob me I'm too poor to afford proper security but rich enough that I think I need it"

      https://i.imgur.com/L9QX7VQ.png

      Can we discuss landscaping and other passive defenses that could help us?

      I have heard of rose bushes under windows and thorny bushes as hedges around property. I need more ideas.

      Here in the tropics we have this beautiful and hardy bougainvillea shrubs but their branches are covered with these inch-long thorns that are hard as nails and honestly make them difficult to prune
      my house is hedged all around with bougainvillea. both gorgeous and a painful obstacle.

  15. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Become wasp keeper

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I'm not qualified to manage a country club

  16. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Acacia is also pretty effective, those thorns are evil

  17. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Or simply a tall and dense hedge, those are pretty much impossible to pass. Wide and low are effective as well with the additional benefit that you can see what's going on the other side

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous
    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Challenge accepted.

  18. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    how to deal with ankle twisting burrows?

  19. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Trail cameras and good sight lines. Against people you want good concealment and cover and them to have to cross the kill zones you in order to challenge you.

    We live in the era of long range optics and guns and hobbyist FLIR drones.

  20. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ha-ha

    I'm not sure weaponised optical illusions are legal...

  21. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Bouganvilla grows like mad in full sun once its roots are established and it full of thorns. Give it lots of space as a hedge if you don't want to be trimming and handling those thorny branches a few times a year.

  22. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Plant that Australian suicide plant around your fences. Forget wussy ass rosebushes!

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >Australian suicide plant
      everything 'strayan is designed to troll as hard as possible kek

  23. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Giant Hogweed
    >phototoxins
    >can cause chemical burns similar to industrial acids
    >grows similar to wild carrots and other parsnips
    >this means it pretty much grows anywhere which has some level of human activity
    >it can be also harvested and turned into a chemical weapon through steam distillation

  24. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Musashi Miyamoto writes about this in the five rings. Something about how a well designed garden is basically a giant killzone for invaders.

  25. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Planting pepper or Eucalyptus can throw off the scents of K9 units

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