>Monkey have declared that the sale of Alaska is illegal and are now going to invade

>Monkey have declared that the sale of Alaska is illegal and are now going to invade
>since the US is not going to spend taxes on such a minor problem as the Russia invasion, Alaska must handle this problem on its own
How should you arm the Alaska National Guard?

250 Piece Survival Gear First Aid Kit

LifeStraw Water Filter for Hiking and Preparedness

250 Piece Survival Gear First Aid Kit

  1. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    go larp on PrepHole

  2. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    they're fine .

  3. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    By the way, the part about the declaration is not a joke.
    https://essanews.com/putin-stokes-tensions-with-us-declares-1867-sale-of-alaska-illegal,6987041965938817a

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Russia has been saber rattling about Alaska for years now. It's the only part of CONUS that they can conceivably threaten with invasion.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Given Russia's naval and swimming record I think the most Alaskans will have to deal with is a few bloated Nigerian VDV bodies washing up on their beaches

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          Do bodies still bloat if they are frozen solid?

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            The bodies would, it depends on how much they are carrying with them when they fall into the drink though.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          I wonder if it works better than cod for bait.
          >Be John Hillstrand
          >See dead floating Vatniks
          >Get the greenhorn to shred them as bait
          >Sell Kings and Opies caught with said bait to people who approve of TZD
          >????
          >Profit
          Although the FDA might object

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        It'll be interesting to see how pozob***h and the other tards who have their tongues stuck in puccian ass sell handing alaska over to monke to their crowd of followers.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        That’s the only place where they could even attempt anything, but realistically speaking, I wouldn’t out too much stock on Z-day.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >conceivably threaten with invasion.

        they THINK they can, honestly I wouldn't be shocked if the Alaskan National Guard 100% by themselves could stop a Russian invasion with how destroyed the Russian military is at the moment.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          shit, if we gave the aleuts some hardware they'd be capable of doing most of the dirty work

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          How much operational experience does the ANG have? Did they get deployed anywhere during the War on Terror?

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            All sorts of National Guard groups got deployed to Iraq/Afghanistan so they probably have a decent amount of people still in who have experience.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            It's probably one of the better trained and equipped state guards actually

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            shit, if we gave the aleuts some hardware they'd be capable of doing most of the dirty work

            >conceivably threaten with invasion.

            they THINK they can, honestly I wouldn't be shocked if the Alaskan National Guard 100% by themselves could stop a Russian invasion with how destroyed the Russian military is at the moment.

            Alaska ANG has fricking raptors, they are crazy stacked relative to the population size given the strategic location. Hawaii is similar.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            The single infantry battalion in the Alaskan National Guard was deploy to Kuwait and Iraq in 2006/2007. I don't think they say any combat though.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          I think every /k/ butthole in America would be booking a flight to Alaska looking to bag themselves a BTR

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            america might be lenient about that until you start getting culty

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        That'd be comical; I kinda wish they'd try.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        I think it's very funny that you think they can access the eastern part of their empire

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Try it buttholes. There's no native Russians there for you to bs about either.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        They will concoct some bullshit about the native eskimos being original russians because they are a multiethnic state or something

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        There's a large population of ethnic Russians in Alaska.
        Here's the catch, they're all tzarist white army refugees from the 1920's. They have a hate boner for soviets you cannot even imagine.
        In my village as a kid, we found a USSR passport on a recent immigrant and they burned his fricking house down. This was in 2001.
        The blood bath would be biblical.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          Deranged.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            Living that far north does that to people. The insanity of the Scandinavians, Russians, Alaskans, and Canadians isn't all the same, but they are all insane in their own ways.

            • 1 month ago
              Anonymous

              Being a Northerner has nothing to do with it. Northerners are cold and cruel, but not irrational. Arson is on the table, but there must be a good reason.
              >this man did not wrong me in any way whatsoever, but our grand-grand-grandfathers were on the different sides of a war
              is not a good reason. That's blood feud, and this shit is for Southerners.

              If they are still that salty about being exiled from Russia a century ago, maybe they should go back.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                Bro
                My grandfather was alive when his family fled their country to escape the red terror in the 1920s. His dad was an officer in the white army. My dad was literally the son of a refuge from communist/soviet murder hordes that slaughtered their way to the theft of his nation and home.
                Old man lived until 2017 by the way, died half done putting a new fence up on his property.

                Yes, they burned the guys fricking house down for having a passport from that regime. You do not understand the hatred for commie soviet fricks that exists in Alaska.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                Yes, you are correct.
                I don't understand burning a house of some random guy for being born in a wrong country.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                >I don't understand burning a house of some random guy for being born in a wrong country.
                His country didn't murder your family. Look at Ukraine, same hatred.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                >That's blood feud, and this shit is for Southerners
                Remember, these are Russians...

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                >Northerners are cold and cruel, but not irrational.
                Exactly. Killing homosexual sovieticus whenever you get the chance is the rational choice.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          I have the meme green text someone made of your town somewhere lemme find it.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          Frick I meant for that meme to be for you. Oh well

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          >2001

          https://i.imgur.com/cEaaTmw.jpg

          I was wrong it wasn't a green text, it was your post I'm guessing. Still fricking funny and amazing.

          >2008

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            Eh, it's around that time, I'm not gonna lie and say I didn't frick one of those up.
            >TFW memory from pre-teens

            • 1 month ago
              Anonymous

              Went to Alaska as a kid once on a cruise.

              You frickers are insane as shit, I honestly believe they did that. Like Florida man levels of crazy, without the gators or flipflop related injuries.

              One of our tour guides one stop put on a survival suit and jumped into the harbor while we are lunch. Why? "Because I like floating"

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        I was wrong it wasn't a green text, it was your post I'm guessing. Still fricking funny and amazing.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >essanews
      Literally no site of repute is reporting this. Literally only morons.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      That says nothing about Alaska?

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >roossia gon invade
      Do it manlet. Please God let it happen. It's literally all I've ever wanted.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        It won't happen, it's just an old Russian trick to first create a problem and then bargain for its solution. So all these claims are just another bargaining chip.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          Frick you I WANT TO SEE RUSSIA REDUCED TO CINDERS IN RIGHTEOUS FIRE AAAAAA

          These blue balls are killing me.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Lmao ok but only if Putin agrees the lend-lease of WW2 was illegal and gives the entirety of Russia to Germany.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Doesn't mention Alaska at all. Seems to be a wonky budgetary thing.

      Also, the Supreme Court would apparently hold that Alaska just has to let them invade if the feds don't want to stop it

      But still this is a fun hypothetical so I'll play along. Alaska is a logistical nightmare, so they really just need to disrupt Russian supply lines in hit and run attacks. Their small population means they should avoid direct confrontation with Russia. So they basically just need a lot of landmines and manpads. Anything else is going to encourage bad tactics.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      I wish a homieh would fr fr

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      If Trump gets elected Putin might actually have a good shot at this, he has him on a tight leash and the cope from WH will be talking about preventing a war or something.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Oh my God I have to vote for Biden in November otherwise the criminal Donald Trump will take over office and he will let Putler walk all over us! BTW we need to ban assault weapons and send them all to Ukraine they need them more than us. Biden Harris 24

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Total glowBlack person death

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous
  4. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    > holhol editing makes it somewhat untrustworthy

    you mean google lens translate?

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      that's a hohol google

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous
    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      thats google translate/lens dipshit. Are all chuggers knuckle-dragging luddites?

  5. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Just ignore them and they'll all be dead to exposure, polar bears, and being mugged by natives to buy alcohol before they reach Anchorage.

  6. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I would fully expect Canada to jump in and give the Alaskans a hand, but these days, I don't know.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      I’m from British Colombia and I say kill em all.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      We'll help but only if the US agrees to annex us.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        would be kind of kino but i think the only way it happens if is canadians REALLY wanted to be part of the US or if Canada went full on enemy state against the US.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          Canada already is an enemy state. It’s practically owned by China

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            Maybe the US should indeed annex Canada then. They will initially hate it, but in time they will realize its the best thing that could have happened.

            • 1 month ago
              Anonymous

              The problem with annexing Canada (or at least all of it) is twofold:
              1. You'd have a sudden influx of Canadians. This doesn't sound bad, up until the point they start voting like Europeans.
              2. Quebecois, who will demand the whole country speak their frog language despite they and only they having any interest.

              In my opinion, only western Canada should be annexed, and even then maybe only BC and Alberta. Give the Yukon to the natives, 'liberate' Quebec and grant them independence under the condition they never attempt to force their bizarre culture on anyone else ever again, and Newfoundland can frick off for all I care.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                The Quebecois would be easy to deal with. After all, we stuffed their kin into Louisiana, which is a fricked up state, sure, but has served as an effective ghetto for those frog mutts. We'll just do the same thing with Quebec. No easy solution to the rest of the Canucks, though, since those fricking Californians are already enough of a blight.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                It’s amazing that you remembered newfie enough to not care, and forgot the even more forgettable islands completely. Which is fair

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                >google Quebec
                >see this
                And Muricans are ready to give it up for free. Truly Murica is a nation of pigs who are simply unable to understand beauty at the genetic level.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                I'm not gonna lie to you senpai, this is just a low-tier European town. The only difference between this and where I live is the shop signs are made out of wood instead of plastic.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                Quebec looks better than all American cities combined. Muricans do only identical concrete cubes or standardized paper houses from Ikea. 0 taste.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                Have you considered necking yourself.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                No, I don't live in a depressing shithole called the USA.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                Hey, it's Leavenworth.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                Leavenworth mentioned! All the beauty of an alpine European town without the homosexual europeans

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                TQD

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                Trudeau?

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                And what sort of people is that town filled with? Quebecois who want to force me to learn French? Napalm is too good for them.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                We don't give a frick about the ROC not speaking French. Just nuke the West Island. For Americans: think of Quebec as Ukraine. Canada is Russia and the poor oppressed Anglos of Montreal as Donbabwe.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                Quebecois aren't oppressed, they're oppressive. Imagine the state of Louisiana forcing the entire US to write all signs in both English and French, under threat of revolt. The only solutions at the moment are genocide or cutting the cancer out entirely. US should NEVER annex Quebec, they are the worst Canada.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                Aside from the shitty streets this looks like my town in Southwest Ohio.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                You don't want BC. Lived near that border long enough to know it's just Canadian California. If it's annexed as a territory they can't vote. This solves the problem.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                What about just splitting Vancouver off from the rest of the province?

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                The best option for everyone involved is
                >Alberta and Saskatchewan annexed and made into the inevitable right-wing gun-loving powerhouses they will be, and I GUESS Manitoba can be dragged along for that delicious crop land
                >BC can come along to complete the coastline
                >All Pajeets and chinks removed from by force and dumped in Ontario. All of them.
                >Quebec can do whatever, they’re worthless but amusing in how schizo they can be
                >The Maritimes are worthless, they can sort themselves out
                >The Yukon, NWT and the big chug land call Nunavut get gobbled up for their coastline and waters and resources
                Let Ontario, Quebec and the Maritimes sort themselves out as a pitiful remnant of days gone and watch as America becomes the most godlike incredible powerhouse the world has ever seen.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                >Saskatchewan annexed
                How will the feds deal with the massive increase in piracy?

            • 1 month ago
              Anonymous

              >annex Canada
              this will probably happen during the water wars, i dont see how it couldnt

            • 1 month ago
              Anonymous

              inb4 enclave and NCR.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      I will shed every last drop of Russian blood to defend Alaska.
      t. leaf milgay

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      I’m legally barred from entry for the next few years and I would still happily illegally skip over the border to blast ziggers, defend Freedom and steal their kit and guns to sell on the black market.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >Hawaii
        >Gets invaded by savage Japanese rapists
        >Chad Americans come and liberate them
        >Joins America out of gratitude
        >Philippines
        >Get invaded by savage Japanese rapists
        >US chads win again, kick the Nip out
        >Regains independence, wishes it could be part of the US

        I'm not tracking

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >steal their kit and guns to sell on the black market
        That's precisely the entrepreneurial spirit that made America great.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      I would personally drive up from Vancouver and shoot the first vatnik I saw.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Canada literally has to

  7. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I'd let them in, with the condition that everyone who can't (or won't) keep a job gets a one-way flight to a sanctuary city. So I guess I'd use the budget to buy cargo planes or just charter alaska airlines for the job

  8. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Alaska has a squadron of F-22s, right? The Russians wouldn't even be able to make it to the shores.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Those are administered by ALCOM, disqualified from use, clearly more worried about not shooting down Chinese spy balloons than a Russian invasion

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        ALCOM? You mean PACAF?

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          >US Armed Forces? You mean the US Navy?

  9. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    RusBlack folk will probably freeze to death before making it 10 miles from the coast without the locals or wildlife needing to do anything but dispose of mobiksicles.

  10. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    resistance is futile

  11. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >needing the national guard
    Put a $20 bounty out for each Russian head and the locals will have things sorted out in no time

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      You mean I get to shoot Russians AND I get paid for it? Finally, a reason to stay in Anchorage.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        bro why would you willingly stay in Anchorage
        come to the kenai peninsula for a comfy time

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      They'd just shoot each other and pretend the corpse was a Russian. Not saying I have anything against that, it just wouldn't solve the whole invasion thing.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        cope

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >$20 bounty per Russian head
      >entrepreneurial locals start capturing and farming Russians
      >a few decades pass and you now have as many Russians in Alaska as the cooked books said there should be
      >if you stop the bounty program then farmers will just release the invasive species into the countryside, destroying the local ecosystem

  12. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >since the US is not going to spend taxes on such a minor problem as the Russia invasion, Alaska must handle this problem on its own
    LMAO. Dream on, Vanya.

  13. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Just make a peace deal it's not like Americans are willing to mobilize and fight a peer war.
    Also muh nukes so just peace deal and territorial concessions.
    Also there are parts of California that also had ancient Russian colonies.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >California
      Oh they don't even need to ask. The Russians can put up with those buttholes for a change, for a while. Serves em right.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        > The Russians can put up with those buttholes for a change
        Do we really want to triple Russia's GDP?

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Go back to twitter hinkle

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >Puccia vs. USA
      >a peer war
      And in case you meant against just Alaska
      >a peer war
      Lmao.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >it's not like Americans are willing to mobilize and fight a peer war.
      Why would you imply that Russia is peer with the USA, or Alaska? Russia isn't even peer to Ukraine. India probably has them beat.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >peer war.
      Between Alaska and Russia maybe

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      I am John Smith from Alaska blast and I am of approving this message.

  14. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    japan tried to take the Aleutian islands and it was a complete failure that was so underwhelming it doesn't even get brought up, i can't imagine russia would fare any better since they have the most self-humiliating navy in near history

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      To be fair the Japanese were never serious about invading Alaska. It was an unironic feint to try to get the US to redeploy forces, which itself was a feint to try to get the Japanese to redeploy forces, and really just a clownshow all around.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        It was also founded on a fundamentally flawed understanding of American culture and sovereignty. The Japanese thought the Americans would care a lot more about a potential invasion on their own territory, even Alaska

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      in fairness the US reinvasion was also a complete shitshow that no one likes the talk about

  15. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I'm pretty sure if Russia tried to take Alaska, assuming they got across the strait, more Americans would be killed by other Americans fighting over who got to torture the Russians to death than by actual enemy action.

  16. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Is the vatnik mind really so simple that tsar monke saying
    >this piece of dirt is OURS, not YOURS
    Is enough to make them think puccia stronk?

  17. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >ATF declares that you can register captured invader's automatic weapons as transferrable machine guns, (you must prove it was captured from a dead vatnik, stockpiles don't count)
    All Russians dead in a week from the horde of bubbas and /k/ommandos descending on them like mongols to loot their rusty AKs and sell them for a 9000% markup or butcher them into neon green "zombie blasters"

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Forget machine guns. Imagine the ATF trying to contain the sudden influx of grenades, RPG's, and mines following a Russian invasion.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        and the subsequent establishment of recreational seal grenading

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous
          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            >homiesaki

            • 1 month ago
              Anonymous

              homieSAKI!
              homieSAKI!
              homieSAKI!
              Hoy! Hoy! Hoy!
              *drink*

            • 1 month ago
              Anonymous
              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                Why do people keep posting that fricking edit. People unironically think this is a legit label. It's Nikka Whisky.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                >Why do people keep posting that fricking edit.
                Because he said homiesaki. Sake is a Japanese alcoholic drink. Whisky is also an alcoholic drink. This is a pun. Now that I have explained it, it is no longer funny.

                What is funny is if you google Black person whisky from the hood, the top result is a site selling Nikka whiskey.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                for real nikkas

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          They do that anyway

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Imagine the rush to get some sweet PKMs

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      I will now volunteer for your war.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Frick you, it wouldn't make it past the mountain line. The entire world combined on a pacific side assault with a somehow unopposed landing could not breach the continental divide. Ever.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Oh please, Americans are cowards and they will be scared if the Russians attack. It would be like Rome (of which Russia is the rightful heir) destroying the child sacrifice of the Carthaginians again.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        You're dumb, aren't ya bud? It's ok, lots of folk are.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Perhaps Americans are cowards. American territory has not been threatened in a very long time. We are completely incapable of understanding what foreign domination is like.

        And yet we fear it. Despite having the largest, most powerful military in human history, backed by the largest, most powerful navy, backed by the largest, most powerful airforce, as well as the largest, most powerful military alliance, we are afraid. Against all rationality, one of the things Americans fear is the foreign invader. We fear it enough that attacking American soil lead to a full scale chimpout and American invasion of multiple countries and the deaths of millions.

        If anyone were to ever pose an actual threat to the USA or its territory, we would utterly destroy them. We would unleash savagery never before seen in modern war. And if we were to lose, we would most certainly end all life in the invader's country with zero regard for the rest of the earth and its survival. Because we are indeed very afraid.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          You are child killers will only fall like the Carthaginians to Rome.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            There is no Rome to save you.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            Keep dreaming Ivan

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            Carthage gets a bad rap historically but when you look at it objectively none of the other Mediterranean powers of the time were able to last even a single round against the Roman Republic while the Carthaginians managed three
            They were clearly a LOT tougher than many people give them credit for

            • 1 month ago
              Anonymous

              I don't think I've ever seen anyone who knows anything at all about the subject claim they were weak. They very nearly destroyed Rome. They were however child sacrificing Moloch worshiping Semitic merchants, and none of that is an exaggeration or slur against the israelites for a change. Pretty sure that's the reference anon was making.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            You're moronic, the US is significantly more Roman in character than Russia.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          History teaches that fear is wise and the only security is ability to kill everyone else. That "fear" is historically pragmatic. The trivial few years of global peace (with trivial exceptions) since WWII are not representative. In the future there is only war.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Lmao fricking try it vatnik
        PLEASE try to invade the US. It would be comedy gold.
        Reminder Russia is currently being kept at a dead stop by a shitty vassal state of theirs that's being drip fed old gear the US was gonna scrap anyways.
        You know those deadly HIMARS Russia is constantly seething about?
        Do you know how many of them the US has?

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Do it Black person, let's see dead Puccians scattered across American soil and not just Ukraine's

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          >scattered across American soil
          lol, Russians would never even make it. Even ignoring the fact there's no way they can or would fight a two front war, they'd never get a single foot on American soil.

          Even if they mobilized every single man woman and child, not one would make it.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        I will peel your face off your skull with my buck knife and wear it as a loincloth so that my wiener and balls are resting on your face from now on.

  18. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Sorry America it's legally belongs to russia you can't do anything about it now

  19. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    power armor and ppsh shotguns

  20. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I’m flying to Mexico, illegally crossing the US border, then Canadian, then US again just to loot Russians I kill.

  21. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >How should you arm the Alaska National Guard?
    Why would I? According to SCOTUS just now, it's illegal for Nasty Girls to defend the border of their respective states. Why should I not allow Russia to invade?

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Hey moronchama. The fed can deputize the national guard to act in its interest.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      SCOTUS issued a temporary stay while they're considering the issue. The media misreports this shit intentionally trying to give Biden something resembling a win as we slide into an election year.

  22. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >How should you arm the Alaska National Guard?
    I think we should get them beer and a few couches so they can watch the hilarity.

    >Russia invades
    >"invades"
    >while it's trying to fight in Ukraine, and cannot seize its capitol which is in walking distance of their staging ground for the invasion
    >so they ship the Chechens they have shooting their actual army in the back to Alaska
    >99% desertion before they even get loaded on rail cars crossing the entire length of Siberia
    >the 20 or so guys who make it to Vladivostok look at the harbor and spot brand new ships sitting there already at sea
    >wtf this is awesome wish we had these in the black sea, sasuga Putin-sama, you must have foreseen this war with America and staged our best gear here! It all makes sense!
    >notice they're all flying the wrong flag
    >pic related
    >fug
    >then they notice their actual ships
    >10 men immediately commit suicide, half the invasion is done for
    >the rest board their ship which periodically loses power due to having no heating systems, and its systems being overloaded by the numerous ancient space heaters plugged in in every berth
    >instructed to wait on ship until the rest of their reinforcements arrive
    >frost bite and starvation plague the crew
    >nobody bothers to tell them that the fleet from St. Petersberg of two Imperial Russian era tugboats defected to Ukraine and are now blockading Russian shipping as privateers

  23. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I wonder how the Inuits and other natives would fare against russians. Would they even bother to fight them or let them pass and watch them die from the cold, wildlife and local military/guerilla?

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      last time alaska was "invaded" during wwii they suffered the most losses (because of internment camps). i don't know if america has the same playbook anymore

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        I knew West Coast Japanese-Americans were put in camps, but I didn't know the US the same with Alaskan natives. Why did they do that?

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          It was only people in the Aleutian islands. It was originally meant to be an evacuation but wound up being a classic case of "we're from the government and we're here to help"

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          pretty good question honestly, back when i read about it i never wondered why, but i'd imagine they had the long list of european national revolutions as their prior century's history and weren't taking any chances. and they obviously were already used to manhandling the natives

  24. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    We will take Anchorage in 3 days

  25. 1 month ago
    Anonymous
  26. 1 month ago
    Anonymous
    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >a white blond guy

  27. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Send Lyod Austin to negotiate a peace deal.

  28. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >even the best of the russian military are going through a slaughterfest in a heavily urbanized country right on their immediate borders
    >somehow they’re going to manage the remote and hostile terrain of alaska, which is also one of the biggest states in the entire union, which is seriously saying something

  29. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    6 HIMARS and whatever they have on hand already.

  30. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    The National Guard will be called in to stop the violence

  31. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Doesn't Alaska have several army Tank Divisions that just sit around there full time?

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >Doesn't Alaska have several army Tank Divisions that just sit around there full time?
      No, it has the 11th Airborne Division, which used to be called the 25th Tropic Lightening Division. After years and years of study, the US Army came to the conclusion that having the majority of Tropic Lightening Division in Alaska was false advertisement, so they started calling it the 11th Airborne.

  32. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I will fricking take noses and ears if they do, I FRICKING WANT THEM TO

  33. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    You were warned

  34. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I truly wish they would.

  35. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Fool proofs plan of victory:
    Offer a 100 dollar McDonald's gift card, a free toilet, and Canadian citizenship to every Russian that surrenders.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >leaf citizenship
      I don't think 100$ worth of big macs and a toilet seat compensates them enough for that torture

  36. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >declare that Russians are planning to attack
    >nothing happens
    >declare that Russians got scared away
    >population loves you
    Amazing how easy it is.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Ok moron. Although you are right that nothing will happen because talking shit is already a sign of strength in the RuBlack folk society, the fact that Monkey dared to his trap like that and did not taste a knuckle sandwich is already an achievement for white Black folk.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >dared to open his trap
        fix

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          >Monkey dared to open his trap like that
          Like what?
          This story comes from a single article on a noname Polish news website, and it doesn't cite any original sources nor publishes the supposed decree signed by Putin.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            >https://english.almayadeen.net/news/politics/russia-won-t-reclaim-alaska-territory--us-state-dept
            Ok Zcoper.

            • 1 month ago
              Anonymous

              That's a later article about American reaction to queries about nonexistent decree.
              It does not post a decree either.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                Ok moron. It's always funny to watch how tankie deny reality and make excuses.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                That's not a decree, that's a Medvedev twitter shitpost laughing at allegations.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                yes, just like they where days before they invaded Ukraine.
                I don't think they will now because they can't beat Ukraine. But this being a "joke" doesn't take away that the russians are willing to start stupid wars and "joke" about the invasion even as it starts

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                Changing the topic already?
                By law, every single presidential decree must be published on the official government website (http://publication.pravo.gov.ru/documents/block/president), otherwise they hold no legal power. Here's this one

                https://i.imgur.com/R40XfmY.jpg

                By the way, the part about the declaration is not a joke.
                https://essanews.com/putin-stokes-tensions-with-us-declares-1867-sale-of-alaska-illegal,6987041965938817a

                , for example:
                http://publication.pravo.gov.ru/document/0001202401180021

                It must be a very weird coincidence that not a single news agency managed to open this website and find the absolutely real decree about Alaska, but I'm sure you'll have no problem doing it. Get to it.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                >https://kapital-rus.ru/news/403468-u_putina_vidy_na_alyasku_chego_opasaetsya_zapad_/
                Keep deny reality you schizophrenic.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                It's literally the same one as

                https://i.imgur.com/R40XfmY.jpg

                By the way, the part about the declaration is not a joke.
                https://essanews.com/putin-stokes-tensions-with-us-declares-1867-sale-of-alaska-illegal,6987041965938817a

                , dipshit.
                I was promised a decree which, quote, "declares 1867 sale of Alaska 'illegal'".
                This one says nothing about Alaska, nothing about any deals, and doesn't declare shit.
                It just says that there will be a state organization that should investigate, properly register ownership and protect foreign property of the Russian state.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                >protect
                Precisely translated as "legal protection in court", I should clarify, because you ape will surely try to twist it into "capture and defend by force".

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                What a stupid distinction to draw. They mean the same thing, and Russia does lack the tact or even ability to bother with negotiation. They are right now "protecting" Ukraine.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                >you ape will surely try to twist it into "capture and defend by force"
                How simple-minded.
                Anyway, ready to concede that the whole "Russia declared Alaska their property" scaremongering is completely made up?

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                Nah I wasn't part of that and don't care about it. It seems like parody but so do half of Russia's official actions.

                All political endeavors are inherently backed by violence and pretending that is not the case is laughable, but especially so in Russia's case since they employ it regularly especially in securing former Soviet territory. Just ask Ukraine, Georgia, and Chechnya.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                How is it parody to have a government department for managing government property abroad?

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                I already told you, I don't care about that and am not part of your argument. You really are fricking stupid. The parody part is obviously "it seems like parody that Russia would claim Alaska." Maybe there's some disconnect between English and your language.

                But since you want to go in on this, sure. That is not what that order is. It is for investigating former Soviet and Imperial Russian property. In other words, things that do not belong to Russia. Things that they have routinely and regularly invaded on numerous occasions in numerous places over the last several decades, because Russia is a parasitic state that cannot continue to exist without regular cultural rallying points against imagined foreign threats.

                Is that what you wanted to hear zigger subhuman?

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                >That is not what that order is. It is for investigating former Soviet and Imperial Russian property.
                Learn to read before you try to act smug and condescending, homosexual.
                It's not "former property of USSR and Russian Empire", it's "property of former USSR and former Russian Empire". In other words, property that still legally belongs to these entities, and therefore legally owned to Russia, the internationally recognized successor. Parasites are the ones who squat there, benefitting off the fact records of ownership got lost and forgotten in some archives when the Russian state collapsed. The decree seeks to rectify it.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                The two mean the same thing, since they will indeed loot any former Soviet or Imperial property they can. Again, ask Chechnya, Georgia, and Ukraine. They will do so with the flimsiest of excuses and lie about it as they do it. And after they get a small bit, they'll go back for more.

                But you are right, they do not need to establish any organization to do so besides the Russian army lol

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                >Chechnya
                >former property
                Way to drop any pretense right from the start, homosexual.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                >Way to drop any pretense right from the start
                I don't think I had any to begin with. I've been pretty blunt and antagonistic from the start really.
                >Chechnya
                I brought up Chechnya like, almost 40 minutes ago, did you just now catch on? Are you handicapped? Mentally disabled? Can you just not read English?

                At one point, it was former Soviet property. Do you disagree? Russia invaded it on multiple occasions, do you disagree? In fact the man tasked with leading the endeavor resigned in protest, and called it criminal, do you disagree?

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                >I brought up Chechnya like, almost 40 minutes ago
                You did, but in a different context.
                Back than you just mentioned that Russia reclaimed their property, Chechnya, by force. That is correct.

                But now you are claiming that Russia has a pattern of taking what doesn't belong to them by force, based on former and no longer applicable property rights, and trying to fit Chechnya into this pattern.
                It was not just a former property of the USSR. That's irrelevant, and it was not the reason for the Chechen Wars.
                The reason was Chechnya being a current property of the Russian Federation.
                You are trying to imply that Russia was in the wrong for protecting their territory from being illegally taken away by force. That's because you are a disingenuous homosexual.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                >You are trying to imply that Russia was in the wrong for protecting their territory from being illegally taken away by force
                Huh? Of course they were. No matter what metric you try to look at it from. From the western "rule of law" standard, the USSR disbanded and Chechnya declared its independence and held an election for its new government.

                From the Russian standpoint, they properly and legally seized power by throwing the head communist in charge out of a window. This is a valid and often required legal function, and whoever throws them out the window is fully in the right. You should know this.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                >From the western "rule of law" standard, the USSR disbanded and Chechnya declared its independence and held an election for its new government.
                Jesus Christ.
                That's why all the countries in the world recognized the independent Ichkeria, right? Oh wait.
                Just in case you are really that moronic and not just baiting, I'll help you out.

                De jure, USSR has always been a union of formally independent Soviet Republics. Incidentally, this is why Ukrainian SSR was a member of UN - on paper, Ukraine was a separate state and had the right to be represented, the right to have it's own army, the right to bypass Moscow and directly have international relations with other countries, and so on.
                It was recorded in the Constitution that, being independent separate states, every one of 15 Soviet Republic had a legal right to secede at will. Of course, this right only existed on paper, and they wouldn't be able to do it in practice till 1991 - but in 1991 each and every one of the newly created post-Soviet states used this legal right as a formal justification for their secession. That's why they seceded with no issues, and became proper internationally recognized states.

                Chechnya didn't have this right. It was never an independent republic, but an integral part of the RSFSR.
                And unlike USSR, RSFSR did not at any point disband. It was just renamed to Russian Federation.
                State being renamed does not give it's regions the right to secede, which is why Ichkerian separatism had no legal basis and was not recognized.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                >All political endeavors are inherently backed by violence and pretending that is not the case is laughable

                Yeah but this isn't like Central Asia or even one of the Baltic States. Russia simply doesn't have any remotely plausible claim to that sort of power, not in the 1800s, not in the cold war and certainly not today. This is the equivalent of the British prime Minister demanding the 13 colonies back.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                Did you even read what I said? Do all of you just want to argue about nothing because you're bored? I do too, so I'll oblige but try harder. Make it coherent.
                >Russia simply doesn't have any remotely plausible claim to that sort of power, not in the 1800s, not in the cold war and certainly not today.
                Ok, what does that have to do with what I said? They aren't actually saber rattling about Alaska, though theoretically they could, and Russia is not above China-tier "final warnings" that amount to nothing anyway. See: shitting and screaming over consequences if Sweden and Finland join NATO, despite knowing perfectly well they can do nothing about it or to them.

                So, in summary:
                Russia is a failed state
                This proclamation is not about Alaska

  37. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    HEYA HOYA HEYA HOYA

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      I want armor like that in a Souls game.

  38. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Please sirs understand that not surrendering to Russia immediately is of escalations and show HATO is a war monger. Please surrender, vote trump and all be peace.

  39. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    When did Russia turn to a f****** parody of itself? Even during the 80s this would have been seen as absurd.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      You're a fricking moronic Black person. Don't ever censor yourself again you cumcraving homosexual.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      when the KGB took total control of the country and started murdering anyone who might possibly someday pose a threat to their total control

      It's a nation run by increasingly senile demented paranoid soviet baby boomer glowies.

      Anyone vaguely competent presents a possible alternative to Putin as a ruler of the nation and thus has been murdered to prevent that possibility, leaving only paranoid spooks an incompetent morons to run things.

      Its a nation run by a pack of organized thieves who think murder is the best solution to any and all problems. They have for 30 years been slowly stealing and expending the entire nations supplies of soviet leftovers while the production infrastructure of the nation crumbles around them, leaving less and less capacity for new production and virtually no capacity for technological advance, since anyone/any organization capable of designing and producing such things is by its nature a potential threat to Putin and his goons, and has, thus, been murdered. They themselves are NOT technocrats but are spooks who do not have the means, knowledge or temperment to run a country.

      Russia is a Junkyard whose management has been given over to the attack dogs the humans having all been mauled to death. The only thing they know how to do is sense intruder, bark at them and bite if they get close enough.

  40. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Pay for free flights to Alaska to whoever wants to go and kill vatniks. Very cost effective.

  41. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >Retroactively, I, President Biden's manager, declare Putin's mother to be a prostitute impregnated by a customer approximately February 1952.
    Same impact.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Just Declare all of Russia the property of Mongolia

  42. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I guarantee it's a ploy to curb American spending in Ukraine. If we're worried that they'll invade Alaska, we are more likely to save our weapons and money for defense instead of sending them overseas, they don't actually give a frick about Alaska. If one single Russian sets foot there in an invasion attempt I'll eat my fricking hat, there's no way Ostrich Legs is that moronic

  43. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >US is not going to spend taxes on such a minor problem
    You're looking at this all wrong. By the end of it half of Russia would be conquered and the rest balkanized with none of the successors called any form of "Russia". Within a year of that outcome thousands of mines, lumber mills, and boom towns would have popped up and the program to build highways across Siberia would be chugging along nicely. The tax impact would be nothing compared to obtaining the vast riches Russia clearly is incapable of exploiting. It'd also be an Article 5 moment meaning the load isn't squarely on US shoulders. On top of that CHina couldn't say shit because Russia started this by invading US. The Chinese are also at least smart enough to not stick their dicks in that blender. If anything they might use it as an excuse to invade outer Manchuria and instantly cool tensions with the Chinese-American relations. I'd also expect Japan to have Karafuto back by the end of it with several other countries gaining turf too.

    Russian and soviet small arms would flood the US gun market. Buying a dragunov would still be expensive but it'd be real. It'd be like expensive nuggets. There'd be frickloads of them but once they're gone they're gone. Black market would be FULL of machine guns, RPGs, and other goodies. Some lucky bastards would have the best /k/ related barn finds ever, awful lot of stuff was staged by the USSR to fight off invasion then forgotten about. Imagine buying a mining claim, finding an old barn or other structure on your land, and inside the thing is a ready to rock T-72 or Hind.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Interesting how Russians haven't built a single town in Siberia in at least 40 years.

  44. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    That is a very moronic scenario. Didn't the Tsar sell the fricking land in the first place, 200-something years ago?

  45. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    a couple of F-22's and the Alaskan coastguard augmented by Bering Sea crab fishing boats would be more than enough to stop any naval and air assets the Russians have in the east to try to project and invasion across the straits

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Alaska controls neither the F-22s nor the Coast Guard

  46. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    What if they invaded Hawaii? Hotline Miami said they'd invade Hawaii

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      With what navy?

  47. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Three story tall robot with laser eyes, nuclear bombs to chuck, and a frick-tonne of catchy voice lines.

    We'll call it something patriotic like Freedom Alpha or somesuch.

  48. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Did you guys win yet?

  49. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Thinking of getting into real estate. All those soon-to-be fatherless widowers in Kamchatka, plus some nice views. Man could carve out a nice harem for himself out there in the future recently-liberated U.S-aligned nation.

  50. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >chechen blocking ships

  51. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Declare that Siberia is actually ancient Native American territory and arm roving warbands of Injuns with tanks, helos and thermonuclear weapons to retake their ancestral homelands.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >The theory with near-unanimous support from both archeologists and geneticists is that the first humans to populate the Americas arrived on foot via a temporary land bridge—across a region known as Beringia—that connected Eastern Siberia to Alaska for a span of roughly 5,000 years.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Exactly. Siberia is their Zion and they have been wandering in the American desert for forty years. Sound the horns. Jericho must fall and the chosen people led be the prophet Shitting Bear will take the promised land

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          >will take the promised land

          I almost forgot about the Prince of Egypt memes from the beginning of this war

          >Mud... Blood... Rockets
          >NLAW!; (Cover!)
          >Blood, nasheeds...
          >Shell and smerch
          >Fire and phosphorus
          >NLAW!
          >(Cover!)

          >With the sting of comrade in my auns
          >With the blood of tankers on my brow
          >Vladimir, from on high, can you here your conscripts cry?
          >Help us now, this dark hour blyat!

          >Deliver us!
          >Ammo sir, deliver us!
          >Vladimir deliver us!
          >A working air defense!

          >Deliver us!
          >Armata you promised us!
          >Deliver us Novorussia land!

          >Vkusno i tochka Rossiya
          >veh-deh-veh prygat' snova, suka

          >I have nothing I can give
          >But onions if you don't live
          >Allah we'll meet again;

          >Veh-deh-veh deliver us!
          >Drones bear down, deliver us
          >From despair, draft slavery
          >HIMARS too cruel to stand

          >Deliver us!
          >Victory you promised us!
          >Deliver us promised Donbas land!
          >And deliver us from the NATO man!

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            A single mobnik in a company
            Though his patriotism brightly shines
            Can never see his purpose
            When he is ass raped from behind.
            And the Monke that sits on the very top
            Of the Kremlin's mighty face
            Knows he'll be the first to die
            When ICBM's rain down from space.
            So how can you see what your life is worth
            Or where your value lies?
            You can never see through the eyes of man
            You must look at your life
            Look at your life through a vatnik's eyes.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            Beautiful.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      There will be a second battle of the valley of tears but this time it will be Injuns in surplus M60s/Abrams vs vatniks in T55 Obr2024s

  52. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Alaskan flag over moscow in two weeks max.

  53. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *