Looks like I'm going to jail. Don't ask. I need every resource /k/ can provide me about shanks and other improvised prison weapons.
Help a fellow /k/ommando out.
Looks like I'm going to jail. Don't ask.
Looks like I'm going to jail. Don't ask. I need every resource /k/ can provide me about shanks and other improvised prison weapons.
Help a fellow /k/ommando out.
if you're actually going to prison you want to make friends, not shivs.
This guy is unironically right. You're gonna be far worse off as that loner with a shiv than that unarmed guy with a backing.
But seeing as this guy is also right, you'll have plenty of friends. They get lonely. Even straight guys sometimes go prison gay.
I've never been good at making friends, and I'm going into prison with a handicap.
How do I hide shivs? I assume sticking it up the anus is something guards look for, since everyone knows about it.
>going into prison with a handicap
don't be a b***h but be the hobbled disabled guy in prison.
https://www.motherjones.com/politics/2016/06/cca-private-prisons-corrections-corporation-inmates-investigation-bauer/
Enjoy
You know damn well nobody is going to help you until you spill the beans so why even make a thread?
I'm going to assume gay male prostitution. Your best friend is concrete. Rub something against it like a toothbrush or the empty case of an ink pen until there's a point then just stab.
When you first enter the common room, scan for the biggest, blackest motherfricker out there and punch his ass. You will left alone for the rest of your sentence, trust me.
*eat his ass
use wall outlets to make fire (pencil lead trick some dude mentioned). use the fire to melt down plastic items into a shiv
Don't worry about shivs man, they're easy to make. You basically take your toothbrush and file it on concrete or rough metal until it's sharp. Alternatively, you can remove the razor blade from the disposable razors and melt them into a toothbrush handle with a lighter.
What you need to learn is how to make friends. Don't let yourself get cornered. Don't open your mouth until you've figured out the pecking order.
Maybe stock up on some vaseline in case your cell mate is a homo.
Hopefully you're not pretty
Reposting a /k/ anon's advice about prison:
>Just keep to yourself, don't touch anyone's shit, and don't join a gang. They weed out the actual monster very quickly and put them in maxsex or the SHU. Also, don't accept gifts from people, they come with debt (unless you're really close with some guy and he makes you a spread for your birthday or something).
Look, media hypes it up, but most people in prison are potheads, people who fricked up on their taxes, minor domestic violence at the 4th of July BBQ, shit like that. Just mind your own business, like I said they segregate the monsters and real criminals pretty quickly. Also, get a job, go to school, go to church, enlist in every single extracurricular activity they offer. Don't trip dude, just do your time, it's not going to be a Hawaiian vacation, but it's not going to be the hell that movies and MSNBC led you to believe.
Correct post. Also: don't run your mouth, and don't spread gossip.
Also DON'T FRICKING GAMBLE. Just don't. You might feel like you're making friends but you're not and all it takes is one bad run to end up getting punked out for soups to pay your debt.
Watch FPSrussia’s prison discussions on the PKA podcast
Shave your bussy boy
are you going to jail or prison
they are different
>jail
>not prison
It's not nearly as bad as you're making it out to be. Jail is like 24 hour public school with the same amount of programs and classes you can take - and probably with some of the same people you went to school with. Just read books or try to get a degree/certification while you're in. Our gay police state also has great reintegration programs for urban yooth who wen down dey wron path which will help you get back on your feet when you get parole or released.
Shouldn't have stolen that ammo you dumb frick.
Take 2-3 tablespoons of raisins and add them to water and let sit for 2 weeks or until it smells like a fermented wine, strain the liquid and add that to juice or even sugar water, wait 2-3 months and you have a strong brew people will buy. Also most prisons sell coffee mate which can be used as a makeshift fuel air bomb if you know what your doing. Also if the Mexican got on boots shit about to go down. Learn how to tie a monkeys fist, it’s easy and effective.
>coffee mate
Go on and explain how to make it please
Jail not prison? If you arent in a shitty area its not that bad. If you're in like los angeles county than frickin godspeed
I'm not in America.
What country? So we can laugh at you.
Germany
What did you do, call a Muslim a rude name? Take too long in the shower?
I said don't ask. It's too long a story to go into.
Well then I can’t really help you, now can I? If you can give a category of the crime, then maybe I can help.
Considering you're on PrepHole I'm just going to assume you diddled kids, in which case you deserve whatever's coming to you
what. is. your. crime. we don't need a novel you fricking moron
Involved in a situation and some kids got hurt is all I can say
Pedophile. Figured.
Yeah you deserve to get sliced up by Turks. Your butthole is gonna get fricked shut
...bernd is that you?
Was it cute and was it funny?
German prisons are some of the best, even maximum security. You’re 100% going to medium or minimum, which is basically like being in a remote work camp setting, good food, TVs in your cells, your allowed a lot more shit that can be weapons, you’re not with lifers. One thing to watch out for in min or med is the wannabe gangsters trying to prove themselves. I’m not from Germany but I’m going in for 7 years soon, federal time in the penitentiary, I’ve looked into the prisons I’ll likely be sent to and they’re just adult day cares, some even feed you steak, it’s not like tv at all, people think of Sam quinten or ADX when they think prison but that’s just America. Either way it sucks, especially if your halfway intelligent cause you’ll be the smartest person there, people in jail are generally fricking moronic.
wtf did you do
Or rather what were you convicted of I understand your response is not an admission of guilt.
Illegal machine guns and explosives.
If you're in north/western europe, Australia, or NZ, I hear your jails/prisons are fricking heaven compared to being "free" in the US. Varg Vikernes fricking killed a man and was put in one of the strictest prisons in Norway in the 90s and the way he described it sounded like NEET heaven.
If you're not from one of those countries, the US, or Canada - gg no re.
Then you'll either get a hotel room with a Gamecube or you'll get thrown into Vorkuta
You're posting on PrepHole so I can safely bet that you need to start stretching that butthole right now.
Swallow a bullet before going in. When your first rapist tries to have his way with you, turn yourself in to a weapon by clenching really hard. Rest of the rapists will avoid fricking the infamous butt gunner..
Unless you’re going to high security, you don’t need weapons, and using any is likely to make your situation infinitely worse. If you choose to make one anyway, the mechanics of making objects sharp are self-evident - you’d sharpen something you can grab. Focus instead on doing good time.
Bring your glasses and a list of prescriptions mailed by your doctor when you surrender into custody - they'll typically let you keep them and they’ll otherwise come to your final location very slowly.
Get a job and go out when allowed. Prison goes by faster if you're doing something.
Prison is racist and cares about your origins. You are expected to spend time with and participate in activities with your "car", a prison "group" with a leader offering some protections from physical and sexual violence. If you're a white boy from New York who looks Slavic, you're probably in the white car, the New York car, and the Eastern European car. Most non-gang cars, especially if you have a short sentence and clean paperwork (you didn't commit a sex crime), will respect if someone just wants to "do their time" and keep their head down. You should be clear this applies to you and avoid trouble.
Arrange for family members to mail you books if you can and aim to develop a love for learning. If you like reading, and take learning seriously, you can do a lot of it in prison.
Learn to do a little "prison cooking" before you go, eg https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IuWkZki_5qY&t=142s, it will make you friends and keep you sane.
Do not gamble, it's the biggest cause of serious fights. Do not self-identify as LGBT, it marks you for sexual violence. Do not look into other's cells, and knock before entering someone's cell, that is their home. Repay debts quickly and on-time. Be polite to others: "please", "thank you", "excuse me".
Don't pick fights, but don't let others push you around. People respect a man who lost a fight but stood their ground and went down swinging.
Wait. OP, are you the butthole that made the thread about stealing ammo?
Prison isn't like what you see on TV. There are other "normal" people in there as well so just make sure to shower and maintain reasonable grooming. Keep your head down, attend your programs/whatever and unless you're going in for life you're getting out alive (99.99% of prisoners do, you know).
Also, I honestly don't get the whole gay rape thing. In my country (not the US obviously) rapists get beaten to death in prison. Especially gay rapists.
>t. former corrections officer
Also also; don't do the crime if you can't do the time. Dumbass.
>don't do the crime if you can't do the time.
>faps to e-girl pics spammed by shitposters on PrepHole because you're too much of a coombrain and couldn't hold your urge to fap
>someone finds out and reports you for that
>gets sent to prison for possessions of "virtual child pornography"
Nice justice system you've got there.
>>faps to e-girl pics spammed by shitposters on PrepHole because you're too much of a coombrain and couldn't hold your urge to fap
finds out and reports you for that
>>gets sent to prison for possessions of "virtual child pornography"
That doesn't happen, they don't arrest people for only seeing pictures.
Don't save it on your PC and obviously don't produce any and you will never get arrested
you take something made of metal/plastic/wood and scrape it against the floor until it's sharp and/or pointy, then wrap a handle on it maybe. it's not rocket science, you don't need to read a fricking PDF
I can only give you generalized tips unless you tell me what you did. It’s all crime specific.
>Be polite
>Don’t give out information
>Don’t accept gifts
>Don’t join any groups
>Don’t give out opinions/views
Our do good , Christian citizens of /k should not engage in conversation with felons. When the felon says good morning, do not reply
1st world prisons are like paid vacation time, get a grip on yourself you are ashaming yourself publicly
so how does it feels to kill the premier of Japan?
and why ya did it?
One gay
One gun
You gonna get yo cheeks busted op
RIP yo booty
OP doesn't want to say his crime. Probably a disgusting pedophile that should be put to death
Probably an animal fricker
its not illegal to frick animals in Germany if the animal consents
tbf if you manage to frick a grizzly bear the bear absolutely consented
TIL darting large game qualifies as consent
Save your ice cream and freeze your shit with it. Sharpen it on the walls of your cell immediately before use.
You know we can give you crime specific tips to help you better survive your sentence if you tell what you are going in for, right?
Also, you are on an taiwanese fly fishing forum, we will not judge you for your crimes
Dont do the "punch the meanest guy" shit because they will fricking kill you
Upvoted and subscribing to this thread because I am also a hardened criminal who has every intention to persist in doing something that can also lead to me being thrown into jail here... namely riding my non-road-legal electric unicycle.
>need weapons in prison
Let me guess CP/Child molestation charges? A shank ain't gonna save you.
Yeah, there's no way this guy isn't a kid diddler otherwise he would fricking tell us what he did. Eat shit and die, OP.
Didn't mean to hit that other post whoops
>shanks and prison weapons
If you did something to kids or abused your partner, shanks won't save you, they'll get you, don't expect help from the trannies and the gays
Glock dookie is all you need