Iraq stories

Or general war stories

>innaship
>innaocean
>onnadeployment
>have shithead abo in my squad that apparently stealing (watermelon)
>frickthishomosexual.gif
>wait till he falls asleep
>get out of the rack at around 0300
>get to his rack
>realize hes left his SAW unsecured
>yoink.mov
>walk to the smoke deck which is unobserved
>total pitch black out there, see nothing, but hear the ocean
>heave-ho.mkv
>hear the splash as I turn around and walk back to the berthing space
>the next day wake up to screaming
>SSgt, Gunny and 1Sgt are screaming at him
>all i hear is stuttering

>mfw

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250 Piece Survival Gear First Aid Kit

  1. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    on recent deployment in syria a platoon sergeant went ape mode and lost his shit and tossed a 240 over the wire

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      da fuq is a 240 - why is tossing a 240 over the wire an abnormal thing to do?

      why do military people use 69 diffferent acronyms like morons

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        M240, a big belt fed machine gun.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        240 is M240B, a machine gun
        tossing a machine gun outside the perimeter of your base is unheard of for obvious reasons
        how are you on a weapons board with 0 knowledge of firearms

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          >implies moronic acronyms is firearms related

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            damn nibba u got shit for brains

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            How is the name of a firearm an acronym?
            How is a number an acronym?
            How is a firearm not firearms related?
            You're either a a troll or the dumbest motherfricker to get on the internet

            so if its a machine gun, he could probably only toss it 10 feet at most. why didnt someone simply walk the 10 feet and pick it up again?

            why is this an abnormal occurence?

            hold on I'm going to have to draw some shit up in MS paint for your dumb ass

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            >acronym

            I don't think you know what that word means.

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            How do you not know the name of one of the most prolific versions of the most common NATO GPMG? It's because you're a noguns homosexual.

            • 1 year ago
              Anonymous

              >NATO
              >GPMG
              >he still expects me to understand all of his shitty miltard acronyms

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                reddit moment

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                Go back to your war thread

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                You don't know what the FN MAG is?

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            so if its a machine gun, he could probably only toss it 10 feet at most. why didnt someone simply walk the 10 feet and pick it up again?

            why is this an abnormal occurence?

            Kill all ESLs, it's the only way

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            Anon, this is a weapons board. We can recognize the shortened name of a common military weapon and recite some history and trivia about it.

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          so if its a machine gun, he could probably only toss it 10 feet at most. why didnt someone simply walk the 10 feet and pick it up again?

          why is this an abnormal occurence?

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous
            • 1 year ago
              Anonymous

              oh that makes sense.

              i thought the perimeter was more those soviet trenches we see in ukraine

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                no, this is syria

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                interestinggggg.

                is this the base that has no air defense and keeps getting hit by iranian rockets?

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                yeah
                those were annoying

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                why dont we have air defense at the base? is this one of many bases?

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                there is some defenses
                this is a small shitter base, bigger bases have real defenses
                here's video of when I was on a bigger base and we got attacked by Iranian Medium Range Ballistic Missiles

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                interestingg, thanks!

                were those incoming, or outgoing air defense intercepting the missiles? were there like underground bunkers to shelter in when there were incoming missiles?

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                first light is incoming, the 2 super bright ones you see are patriots going out to intercept, you can also see a bunch of smoke trails from previous patriots. That attack was really bad, every single patriot battery was expended and if they had sent more they would have got through.

                whats the point of being in Syria unironically, seems like nothing would change if it was left to itself
                >t.geopoliticallyilliterate

                Man I dont know I just be strokin my shit in the desert getting paid

                i would be a huge pussy and go to bed every night wearing my helmet and plate carrier

                just kept it by the bed, there was very loud alarms

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                yeah that's scary i'd probably be a giant pussy and sleep in a 10 foot hole in the ground.

                its gay we didn't fire back at Iran, teach them a lesson

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                we bombed the shit out of the dudes who launched them, but yeah I agree
                always had enough warning time on the missiles to get to a shitty bunker, it was wild feeling the impact of the intercepted missile falling to the earth
                the suicide drones were the annoying ones because they can evade radar, and they liked to send those at mealtimes or when I was jacking off

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                whats the point of being in Syria unironically, seems like nothing would change if it was left to itself
                >t.geopoliticallyilliterate

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                its a useful 'bridgehead' that be can be used as a launching pad to other places in case shit gets fricked up and we need to world police.

                also it holds back isis and probably prevents iran and assad from genociding that whole area

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                Is Iran an actual threat, they seem like a poorer, dumber russia. cant the arabs handle it?

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                Believe it or not, they're actually richer than Russia. Significantly. AND they've done it while totally cut off from most of the global economy. Everything Russia has it looted from the corpse of the USSR, Iran actually has some dynamism and a plan for the nation that goes beyond seething inferiority syndrome and self-delusion.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                To be honest they'd be a far superior ally in the middle east over the Arabs, If there was a choice and historical circumstances hadn't forced the USA's hand into supporting Saudi Arabia.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                Yeah Iranians are fine. Shame the supreme leader had to go
                >hey everyone else, do an Islamic Revolution like us!

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                Dont wan to be that guy but saw Croatia above Russia, and had to look up current stats

                Current ranking
                Iran == 11
                Russia == 9
                Croatia == 83

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                wut. so from a humanitarian perspective, iran would be a 'threat' to the unarmed civilians in syria, because assad would use iranian militias to ethnically cleanse whatever sectors of syria dont like him.

                i guess from a strategic point of view, if iran gets nukes, and we need to launch something into iran to take those nukes out - what would our launching pad be? i dont think we have bases in iraq now and iraq is sort of a puppet of iran.

                i dunno i'm not an expert

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                Bro the USAF has literally flown B2s the entire way round the world to bomb like 3 taliban with mosin-nagants, everywhere is the US's launching pad

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                i more so meant ground force type stuff.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                ISIS and sheeit.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                i would be a huge pussy and go to bed every night wearing my helmet and plate carrier

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        go back or i'll shoot you with an APFSDS.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        Why do noguns struggle with nomenclature? Why are noguns on this board? We will never know.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        >why do military people use 69 diffferent acronyms like morons

        Because we have literally thousands of things that are named with acronyms you stupid homosexual. Do you say Automated Teller Machine, Personal Identification Number, or Ante Meridiem or Post Meridiem every time you speak?

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        >too dumb to google "240 gun" given this is the weapons board
        god I fricking hate the common core generation. The only solace I have is knowing you impotent homosexuals will die from drinking runoff.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        M2308 shoots 308

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        AI generated answer, surely nobody can be this moronic

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          Have you looked in a mirror?

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        >Inbred Black person tourist on military/Weapons board
        >Dont know what an M240 is
        Your skin is the color of POOP!

  2. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Abos join the military? You'd think they'd all hate the government over there

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >Abos join the military?
      Yes, they like to huff military petrol as well

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Since always, we’ve had abos in the army in WW2 and Vietnam

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Pretends to be Australian:
      >bruce pic
      >abo
      Uses non-Australian terminology:
      >squad
      >SAW
      >SSgt, Gunny, 1Sgt

      OP is a homosexual liar larping as an Australian.

      In answer to your question, yes, but OP has never seen an abo, isn't Australian and probably hasn't ever been in the military.

  3. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    This is probably a stupid question to those of you who served but why are there no security cameras on ships? Its a boat with 400 morons, i wouldnt trust them with anything. They might throw a saw in the sea.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Because no one wants to monitor 24/7 cctv of sailors sneaking off to rub one out in whatever nook they can hide in and occasionally get to see two guys eating each others unwashed ass holes.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        >Because no one wants to monitor 24/7 cctv of sailors sneaking off to rub one out in whatever nook they can hide in and occasionally get to see two guys eating each others unwashed ass holes.
        Im sure someone would want to do that.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      There are, just only in the important areas for accountability. A missing gun's nothing compared to a misfired torpedo or shitty maneuvering that results in an oil tanker collision.

  4. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >abo
    >australia meme picture
    >SAW not F89
    >ssgt, gunny, 1sgt
    what

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      For me it was the bit about watermelon, I don’t think I’ve ever seen an abo eat a watermelon. It’s probably happened at some point but for the life of me I can’t recall seeing it happen.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        There is a pic of a bunch of abo kids eating watermelon, one was in a bin filled with water if memory serves me right. But yeah.. never seen it irl

  5. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >join army to fight Talibros
    >Army turned me into a robot, hungry for brown flesh
    >own mother doesn't recognize me
    >cruising in my Stryker Armored Combat Infantry Fighting Armor truck Vehicle
    >Got Metallica ride the lightning on loop
    >I was air guitar and didn't see Talibro IED
    >It explodes
    >Swiper Armor Combat Lory flips 14x
    >Come under heavy bullet barrage from Talibros
    >I dismount the M2A3 and fire it from groin, my balls get HOT
    >I saved all 14 of my crew mates though they were badly burned
    >Get awarded iron cross with hop leaves
    >Come home a hero
    >Frick Britney spears raw dog
    >The end

  6. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    My wife lived in Iraq until 2013. She had a story of visiting Baghdad in 2006 as a little girl and hating it, not because of the war or anything, but because there was a giant bug in her bedroom which scared her.

  7. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Innacoffin

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Why are you posting an image of a scuttled vehicle?

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        heres a fun one from deployment last year

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          >last year
          where, also do you yanks still have still have significant forces in mena ?

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            Yes, lots of places the deep state lied to Trump and said they were pulled out of.

            Obama started 13 wars or some shit.

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            That pic is in Syria
            Significant forces? Just Kuwait. Although that depends on what you consider significant. If you are a brit you might consider 500 dudes significant (not the actual amount of troops in syria, I dont know/wouldnt post that number)
            we also got dudes in iraq, some in jordan, saudi arabia, uae, a ton in kuwait

  8. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >innaship
    >innaocean
    >onnadeployment

    Holy shit /k/ is so fricking cringy

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      [...]

      terrorists are thataway, glowBlack person

  9. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    /k/ oldgay here.
    Many moons ago I used to collect fricked stories from /k/lansmen soldiers deployed in Iraq, Afghanistan... I can post them when I get back home, anyone interested? Would be cool some could add ones I missed, I think I managed to save like one in a houndred.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      yeah

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      He’ll yep

      Captcha: SPAGAY

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Yes, fun times.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        K stories.

        [...]

        Iraq is actually pretty nice now and you can actually go out and party in Erbil and a few other places. The green zone isnt even layered in T Walls anymore. The Iraqi people are pretty much tired of war and decided that continuously blowing themselves up was gay.

        As for Afghan its the Afghan people's fault. Having worked with them they are the most moronic people on the planet and their moronation prevents them for doing anything good, even for themselves. Ive encountered afghans that thought medicine was western devil magic and would rather let their kids die than give them antibiotics. Ive seen an afghan sell his own son to the ANP commander to be a sex slave. Frick afghans. Theyre so moronic they HAVE to be ruled by a theocracy.

        .....

        [...]

        (You)
        Not mine and i cant recall it, but i remember reading one that went about the afghan sandBlack folk thinking the amerimutt and NATO soldiers were demon beasts because they couldn't be stabbed in their body armor. A soldier once greentexted that a village elder told a kid (no older than 13) to try and stab a soldier with a shitty knife in the middle of the armor to see if he could be killed.
        I have no idea how pre-1979 people claim afghanistan was a civilized place if today everyone from all ages is a literal single digit IQ monkey

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          It's the same in every country that has a shit government or is war-torn. The smart people all leave. Same thing happened in russia under the soviets and other places in the middle east. It's called brain drain

  10. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    be in kuwait waiting for a bird.
    >the norwegians arrive
    >got some bag nastys in the fridge for people
    >they ate all of them but didnt use any of the conidments
    >litearl stacks of mustard and salad dressing on the table after their left
    >waiting for my
    >ocd triggered, sweating profusely, look around
    >everyones watching tv or sitting outside
    >stack the condiments in neat rows
    >walk away, catch eye contact with an airforce guy giving me a weird look
    >get called the bird is here
    >go home
    >find out my favorite lcoal teppan grill got destroyed in a hurrricane

    havent had good seafood sauce and shrimp since. fml.

  11. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    What an absolutely dog shit thread.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      feel free to post a meaningful contribution

  12. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    > be in iraq
    > route clearing and react to fire patrols
    > got some Iraqi army guys were escorting around
    > come across an IED
    > burried 155 shell
    > call up EOD
    > goona be like 4 hours
    > Iraqi army guys think this is bullshit
    > frick waiting we got goats and little boys to frick and wives to beat.
    > break convoy and drive up into the cordoned off area.
    > iraqi army guys start digging the shell out with picks and shovel
    > get it unburried and 3 guys craddle the shell while one guy snips wire by wire
    > whole timevwe watch with baited breath that they will become pink mist any second now
    > iraqi army guys defuse IED and have at us giving us the all clear
    > Allah was on there side that day.
    > bless the iraqi EOD team you magnificent sons a b***hes.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      holy shit

  13. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    air force deployments be like

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      KINO

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        air force deployments also be like

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          >GOOD TONE

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Sorry to kill your joke, but these were set up for the incoming refugees in Qatar and were cordoned off. So airmen couldn't access them. Yes I'm mad.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        This picture was not taken in Qatar, it was UAE, and only US servicemembers used it

  14. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    motherfrickers havin showers like this and complaining about how they're suffering in the worst place to be deployed like ?????????

  15. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    > Be Me in Iraq
    > Be in Baghdad, which was 'captured'
    > Still lots of fighting
    > Manning Checkpoint in the middle of the night
    > Hear Humvee Motor and Country Music
    > Coming from Indian Country
    > WTF.JPG
    > Soft Skinned Humvee, GREEN OFC, with a giant rebel flag comes into view.
    > WTF INTENSIFIES
    > Lousiana and Georgia National Guard is lost and asks for directions to Victory.
    > HOW THE FRICK ARE THEY ALIVE.WEBM
    > They just drive off into the night.

    They didn't get their heads cut off on CNN ?

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