If you were going to arm and train a group of orangutans to fight back against the "people" deforesting their homes to grow palms for palm o...

If you were going to arm and train a group of orangutans to fight back against the "people" deforesting their homes to grow palms for palm oil, what would you give them? Do you think they could understand how to use a gun, or do you start them off with spears and knives?

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  1. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    Something to enhance their latent telekinetic abilities. The government doens;t want you to know this but orangutans have psychic powers. The larger the flanges, the more power they have.

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      Technically we can all tap into the collective unconscious. With high enough doses of psychedelics, perhaps a psychic bond can be formed between the Ape Army and it's human commander(s) so direct communication can be achieved.

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        >Dood shrooms lmao

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          I was thinking IV DMT.

          Laser designators. They just need to paint the targets and off-shore missile cruiser turns them into mist.

          No need for supplies and if things go south you just stop firing the missiles.

          >this is how ZOGbots think you fight
          kek, we're talking about gorilla warfare here

          • 11 months ago
            Anonymous

            >we're talking about gorilla warfare
            nonsense, that's clearly an orangutan

  2. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    Machetes, anything the locals use that isn't more complex than a revolver.

  3. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    Laser designators. They just need to paint the targets and off-shore missile cruiser turns them into mist.

    No need for supplies and if things go south you just stop firing the missiles.

  4. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    >what would you give them?
    Highly v1iral pathogen engineered to be harmless to them but deadly for humans

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      This. Not some practically harmless Covid either. We need something that will give Cocoliztli numbers.

  5. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    Don't try to uplift them, next thing you know the damn lutherans will import them to your town where they'll be using the training you gave them to mug people and deal fentanyl

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      Well, as long as the CIA doesn't supply them with drugs and weapons and funding like they do with the entire illegal drug industry in North America, then we should be okay.

  6. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    Give them nooks and teach them how to press a button.

  7. 11 months ago
    Anonymous
    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      hmm

  8. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    i would teach them to hide banana skins everywhere, like a kind of slippery landmine. i would make them wear coconut shells as helmets and i would also train them to climb on top of one another and form up into a giant orangutron and in this form they would be unbeatable

  9. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    teach them gorilla tactics

  10. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    I've seen them use saws before so a gun should be possible. I'd give them the vhs seeing as their lanky arms will need all the lop they can get

  11. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    You would have a better shot at making a difference by arming the indigenous populations that are being fricked up by illegal land development.

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      I don't care about them.

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        You don't have to, but caring about all of the plants and animals in those places going extinct is something to care about .
        Not to mention the mushrooms. Think there's around 50 species of mushroom per species of plant in the amazon.

  12. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    Teach them the strength and certainty of steel

  13. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    Grenade drones. They totally get video game controllers so it shouldn't be hard. Just need a few human technicians to arm the quadcopters on each run.
    Oh! Those laser-ranged automatic mortars from South Africa, too.

  14. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    Operation Primate Speargun

  15. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    Weaponized STDs so that when they're placedin the rape camps they'll slowly kill the humans

    https://metro.co.uk/2018/11/26/orangutan-was-shaved-made-to-wear-jewellery-and-used-as-a-prostitute-8179714/

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      What a horrible day to be able to read

  16. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    single barrel shotguns

  17. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    bomb vests

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