Marionettes: The hilarious and poignant story of how globalist garden gnomes made two groups of white people butcher each other (again). Probably get Michael Moore to direct it, because his columbine bullshit is still being shown in schools.
Back when all the bizarre shit like a granny taking out a drone with a pickle(tomato?) jar, another one poisoning dozens of Russians with food, the fucking idiots digging trenches in the Red Forest, etc. happened, people thought that it'd make an insane satire/comedy, kinda like the war version of "Dude, where's my car?".
Just imagine the thing being about some young Russian conscript who suddenly finds himself in the middle of an invasion with no fucking idea what he's doing or why he's even there in the first place and then tries to GTFO as fast as possible, with tons of hijinks ensuring, all while the monkey in charge keeps escalating and shit is getting crazier and crazier.
The Russian guy being surprisingly wholesome with helping random people while remaining ignorant of their real mission, his companion being aware but trying to keep his friend alive?
I get your jest, but salo delicious. Just highly dependent on what the pig ate.
I once stayed at this hostel which was actually a farm making hostel money on the side....if the hogs had a summer of milk from the over-producing cows and a fall of "ugly" fruit from the orchards unfit for the market...dear lord it is close to godliness.
This is also true for bear meat. You want to go hunting during or slightly after berry season.
Describes the whole thing perfectly. Not just on a tactical level like dropping vdv into the sea.
They tried to blitzkrieg just before the start of mud season.
They threatened to cut european gas supply during springtime, giving them the longest possible amount of time to sort it out before winter.
Monkee had half the money that he needed to pay for the war in western banks, where it could immediately be frozen.
If this had been written by Tom Clancy, you'd never believe it
Depicts the last days of Putin in power and subsequent reshuffling of the entire silovik structure complete with hilarious dialogs (to a westerner), a violent purge and the suebsequent reign of terror as Russia attempts to stabilise during a collapse from the sheer amount of shitty churka republics pulling the eject lever, taking manpower and resources with them. Interlaced with slower, more reflective sepia footage of younger Putin travelling from DDR to USSR, german washing machine his only posession.
The Circus tells the harrowing story of a young man convinced he would become a hero. But things rarely work out the way you want them to. Join young Vanya on his journey through Ukraine and witness all the chaos and joys of "modern" warfare yourself. And yes, there are Tigers.
In seriousness: Azovstal. A play by play of the siege from the perspective of Azov bat. , all major events until the surrender. Then a classic "what happened to them after" reel during the credits which is gonna be grim reading.
clown world: The Drunk Dozen. A penal squad is formed during the quiet months of the war to raid a distillery filled with unshipped goods at the whim of the local division commander in hopes of addressing morale issues. Same tone as the The Dirty Dozen but turned farcical due the scale and intent of the mission.
Mariupol, basically a remake of the 1993 film Stalingrad, but from the perspective of a Russian motor rifle platoon fighting in the Siege of Mariupol.
It ends much like the original, with the last two survivors cradling each other in their dying arms just before a Ukrainian drone bought off Amazon drops a grenade on them. Credits sequence comprises entirely of VOG grenades with the cast member's IRL signatures being dropped from said drone on actual Russian soldiers for added authenticity.
>Stallin' Death >a zombie apocalypse during the battle of the mariupol, where survivors try to get out of zombie infested azovstal tunnels and fight hordes of russian zombies
>1 Prologue
From Euromaidan to the Donetsk airport battle and flashing through 8 years of build up, Givi, Motorola, Putin and Poroshenko
>2 Skies on fire
The battle of hostomel, the first VDV assault and the air battle over Ukraine
>3 Highway to hell
Armored rush to Kiev, Kherson falls, Kharkov stands, the Chernobyl skirmish
>4 The fortress of Steel
80 days at the Azovstal plant, Ukrainian special forces operating vs Chechens
>5 Stormy waters
5 months of back and forth in Snake Island, the sinking of Moskva
>6 Sunflower seeds
Enduring occupation and partisan action, attrition and collapse of the northern front, Hind raid into Russia
>7 The Cauldron boils
Russia grinds through Donbass, trench warfare, Chornobaikva burns and burns, war crimes, energy warfare and HIMARS hitting depots
>8 Fury
Ukrainian counterattack begins, Kharkov front collapses, mad rush through the hollowed out DPR, meat grinder in Kherson
>9 Swan lake
Ukraine cuts off Crimea and Kherson, invasion force decimated, military coup in Moscow and the death of Putin
>10 Your son died in Ukraine
Clean up of destroyed bodies, repatriation of bodies and flashbacks to soldiers and civilians experiencing the war
Hard Edge : A lone delta force member is in a secret mission in Ukraine, his mission is to eleminate completely the "Tigress", a unit of elite sexy female spetznaz
A Bunch Too Far
"The beginning of the end: Russia's downfall, from invasion to putins suicide"
Obviously only gonna work in a month or so though
see no evil
Call of Duty: Banan Warfare
Smoke Hard
Smoke Hard 2
Smoke Hard 3: Sweet Home Chornobayivka
Raytheon ad reel 6
>Pain & No Gain: A Russian Story
>Directed by Michael Bay
>Original soundtrack by Mick Gordon
lmao
Death of Stalin II
Corruption in the Kremlin: Dachas no Dakka.
Marionettes: The hilarious and poignant story of how globalist garden gnomes made two groups of white people butcher each other (again). Probably get Michael Moore to direct it, because his columbine bullshit is still being shown in schools.
>two groups of white people
Wait which white country is ukraine at war with now?
>Slavs
>White
>russia
>white
Two men in a BMP, to say nothing of the washing machine
Escape from Kharkov
All is good on the eastern front
No panic in the Kharkiv oblast
The Devil’s Greatest Trick
Sun Tzu: The forgotten Art
Saving Private Shoigu
Babe 3: A Pig Too Far
Vatnik at the Gates
The Clown Invasion
Blyatzkrieg
Back when all the bizarre shit like a granny taking out a drone with a pickle(tomato?) jar, another one poisoning dozens of Russians with food, the fucking idiots digging trenches in the Red Forest, etc. happened, people thought that it'd make an insane satire/comedy, kinda like the war version of "Dude, where's my car?".
Just imagine the thing being about some young Russian conscript who suddenly finds himself in the middle of an invasion with no fucking idea what he's doing or why he's even there in the first place and then tries to GTFO as fast as possible, with tons of hijinks ensuring, all while the monkey in charge keeps escalating and shit is getting crazier and crazier.
>Blyatzkrieg
Best ITT
Slava Ukraini!
Is my second best effort. I came here to post this:
>Blyatzkrieg!
I think the exclamation point in these sell them. The titles in this thread could all be books, war chronicles, written by soldiers and other victims.
Also, great contender for the effort:
>Dude, Where's My VDV?
I just feel it's for a somewhat niche audience.
The Russian guy being surprisingly wholesome with helping random people while remaining ignorant of their real mission, his companion being aware but trying to keep his friend alive?
>Blyatzkrieg
winner
>Dude, Where's My Army?
rubberband of brothers
Operation Blyatrossa: Useless cunts and collapsing fronts
paper curtain
Salo, or the 120 Days of Seethedom
>Salo
Holy shit, that's genius
I don't get it, Salo sucks ass.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sal%C3%B2,_or_the_120_Days_of_Sodom
I get your jest, but salo delicious. Just highly dependent on what the pig ate.
I once stayed at this hostel which was actually a farm making hostel money on the side....if the hogs had a summer of milk from the over-producing cows and a fall of "ugly" fruit from the orchards unfit for the market...dear lord it is close to godliness.
This is also true for bear meat. You want to go hunting during or slightly after berry season.
Spanish cured ham is best when the pigs are processed after they've been eating a
You havent tried fresh general's salo (salo with bacon, a more expensive one) on black bread with pepper and garlic. You know nothing.
>t.ukrop
>3 Days to Kyiv
Great, absolutely great
Okay this one is fine too
The Superpower feint
putin deeper
We Are Lucky They Are So Stupid
Describes the whole thing perfectly. Not just on a tactical level like dropping vdv into the sea.
They tried to blitzkrieg just before the start of mud season.
They threatened to cut european gas supply during springtime, giving them the longest possible amount of time to sort it out before winter.
Monkee had half the money that he needed to pay for the war in western banks, where it could immediately be frozen.
If this had been written by Tom Clancy, you'd never believe it
The failed war against the west
Tbh
That's getting into Japanese LN title territory.
>I Can't Believe Imouto Russia Invaded My Borders But I'm Lucky She's So Stupid
Death of Banan
Depicts the last days of Putin in power and subsequent reshuffling of the entire silovik structure complete with hilarious dialogs (to a westerner), a violent purge and the suebsequent reign of terror as Russia attempts to stabilise during a collapse from the sheer amount of shitty churka republics pulling the eject lever, taking manpower and resources with them. Interlaced with slower, more reflective sepia footage of younger Putin travelling from DDR to USSR, german washing machine his only posession.
mite b cool
Would watch
Paper Bear
pooh sticks
Shit in the woods
stalin 2.0: banan boogaloo
Downfall of the Zeich
Blitzcringe
“Katastropha”
Tom cruise as zelensky
Kevin hart as Putin
Heart of Steel
"Here be dragons"
Dude, Where's My VDV?
Sadistic white collar people that don't participate in war need entertainment too, electric russian bugaloo
Purge VI: The Slavening
Red Sunflowers
If US will provide Ukraine with a proper airforce(Yes, I am on hopium)
Wings of Liberty
World's Largest LARP Gone Too Far
"Without You".
This one was probably one of the best ones by Zelenskyy, and it's barely just some text message on Instagram or something.
Agreed
This. I'm no Zelensky simp, but holy shit if that ain't a speech. That's his "We shall fight on the beaches".
>That's his "We shall fight on the beaches"
No, that was "I don't need a ride, I need ammunition"
Hear hear!
The Circus
The Circus tells the harrowing story of a young man convinced he would become a hero. But things rarely work out the way you want them to. Join young Vanya on his journey through Ukraine and witness all the chaos and joys of "modern" warfare yourself. And yes, there are Tigers.
Somebody already did all the work for me.
Did You Know That Russia Has Tigers?
Dunston checks into Ukraine
Cry me a river turns to you cryin'.
Crimea river, Adventures on the Dnieper
Cry Me A River: Pontooning Ukraine
Generation Cope
Ernest goes to War
>nowatimeen Vernski?
In seriousness: Azovstal. A play by play of the siege from the perspective of Azov bat. , all major events until the surrender. Then a classic "what happened to them after" reel during the credits which is gonna be grim reading.
clown world: The Drunk Dozen. A penal squad is formed during the quiet months of the war to raid a distillery filled with unshipped goods at the whim of the local division commander in hopes of addressing morale issues. Same tone as the The Dirty Dozen but turned farcical due the scale and intent of the mission.
All quiet on the southern front
Not a movie but a game.
Blyatzkrieg: Slavic Warfare
An Airport Too Far: A Straight-To-VDV Special
The longest three days.
Eh, I think Three Days to Kiyv works better.
Make it bitterly sarcastic and depressing tragedy about some of the poor schmucks that found themselves becoming cannonfodder in it.
It would be a comedy movie, we can call it the "Dumbass War"
A Federation of Dunces
Russian History Z
Bear trap: Russia’s 2022 Invasion of Ukraine
Mariupol, basically a remake of the 1993 film Stalingrad, but from the perspective of a Russian motor rifle platoon fighting in the Siege of Mariupol.
It ends much like the original, with the last two survivors cradling each other in their dying arms just before a Ukrainian drone bought off Amazon drops a grenade on them. Credits sequence comprises entirely of VOG grenades with the cast member's IRL signatures being dropped from said drone on actual Russian soldiers for added authenticity.
Holy based thanks for the link
You're welcome 🙂
>If you had make a movie about the war in Ukraine, what title would you give to it?
Slav wars: the empire strikes back
Not sure if that would work copyright wise though.
Might work for a dark comedy movie
Call of Putyn: Monke Warfare
Congrats to all /v/irgins present, next cawadooty will feature russians as generic enemy again.
garden gnomes Lied, White People Died
same title you give every war
>same title you give every war
we need african war games
any war will do
>it's da joos fought russians are retarded snowmorons!
Ace Combat: The Ukrainian War
Carry On Corruption (or How I made million roubles selling tank spares to the russian mafia)
Don't Be A Menace to the Azovstal while Nibbling your Banan in the Kharkiv.
Requiem for Russia
Tractors of Thunder: The Ukraine Gypsies Attack
Dude, where are all my tanks?
Dude, where are all the VDV?
Dude, where's the Moscow?
> Honey, I Shrunk the Kids (again)
Biden Money Laundering Nation Attacked
or
None of Our Business
Vatmoron Assblast
Gay porn documentary of life as a Russian twink conscripted into the Russian military.
The Ghost of Kyiv
2 More Weeks
Enemy at the gates.
The Eyebrow Falls
Despair
2 More Days: A Z Film
Monky business
Essentially a black comedy a la Blackadder, main characters would be Russian high command and their hijinks.
>black comedy a la Blackadder, main characters would be Russian high command and their hijinks
have you heard of Death Of Stalin?
The Circus
Cirque du Monke
Dr Monke or how I stopped worrying and learned to love my VDV
Russo-Ukranian war 2: Electric Boogaloo
>Man Made gayry Beyond Comprehension
How garden gnomes humiliated Whites by putting on its knees the last White country that refused sodomite adoption.
"Putin's Folly"
"Vat Slap"
"50 Ways To Leave Ukraine"
"If I Can't Conquer Ukraine, May God Strike Me Down"
"Cancer Is A Helluva Drug"
50,000 flew over the monkies nest
>Stallin' Death
>a zombie apocalypse during the battle of the mariupol, where survivors try to get out of zombie infested azovstal tunnels and fight hordes of russian zombies
For me it's been set since a thread in May IIRC, where we named the whole debacle. It is Operation Stalling Blunder
The Death of Putin
69 years of Monke
I believe I can fly
3 Days to Kiev
336 Hours
Hetalia Axis Powers: The Big Slav Kerfuffle
>Gate: and so they fought in ukraine!
or
>The invention of lying, russian subbed
>akeome
wat
Monke Goes on Adventure: Mistakes Were Made
10 episode HBO series
Episode list:
>1 Prologue
From Euromaidan to the Donetsk airport battle and flashing through 8 years of build up, Givi, Motorola, Putin and Poroshenko
>2 Skies on fire
The battle of hostomel, the first VDV assault and the air battle over Ukraine
>3 Highway to hell
Armored rush to Kiev, Kherson falls, Kharkov stands, the Chernobyl skirmish
>4 The fortress of Steel
80 days at the Azovstal plant, Ukrainian special forces operating vs Chechens
>5 Stormy waters
5 months of back and forth in Snake Island, the sinking of Moskva
>6 Sunflower seeds
Enduring occupation and partisan action, attrition and collapse of the northern front, Hind raid into Russia
>7 The Cauldron boils
Russia grinds through Donbass, trench warfare, Chornobaikva burns and burns, war crimes, energy warfare and HIMARS hitting depots
>8 Fury
Ukrainian counterattack begins, Kharkov front collapses, mad rush through the hollowed out DPR, meat grinder in Kherson
>9 Swan lake
Ukraine cuts off Crimea and Kherson, invasion force decimated, military coup in Moscow and the death of Putin
>10 Your son died in Ukraine
Clean up of destroyed bodies, repatriation of bodies and flashbacks to soldiers and civilians experiencing the war
No Fat Chicks just Vatnicks. Story of a trap.
Hard Edge : A lone delta force member is in a secret mission in Ukraine, his mission is to eleminate completely the "Tigress", a unit of elite sexy female spetznaz