If i find this in my house whats the best improvised weapons to kill it before it kills me?
can i simply trowh a huge book at it?
If i find this in my house whats the best improvised weapons to kill it before it kills me?
If i find this in my house whats the best improvised weapons to kill it before it kills me?
can i simply trowh a huge book at it?
That’s just a guy’s hand. You can ask him to leave like a normal person
yeah wtf or bite him if he doesn't OP
like what's a book lol
Eight spindly legs typed these posts.
Girthy legs; spindly legs are for gay webBlack folk.
I've killed a mouse with a spring airshit pistol; granted it was a 1911 so maybe it experienced a memetic transference of some destructive potential from the 45acp of the real thing.
>granted it was a 1911 so maybe it experienced a memetic transference of some destructive potential from the 45acp of the real thing.
lol
>I've killed a mouse with a spring airshit pistol; granted it was a 1911
Are you me? I did exactly the same thing. Was surprised it killed the mouse, thought it would just frick off. Maybe it truly had memetic stopping power.
ArachBlack folk keep moving, /k/ is a mammalian neighborhood
It doesn't want to kill you.
Large spiders like that do not like entering people's homes as there is not enough confined shelter. However if you see one in your home it is likely not a threat; they are probably just having trouble finding a good burrow and you need not fear them for we will keep to ourselves and will only hunt small insects
>we
YOU SON OF A b***h
Buddy you’re on the World Wide Web. There are spiders here. You don’t see me going to a gas station bathroom calling the number on the wall and telling you one the phone “ew wtf are you a gay???”
>Vladimir
>VLADIMIR
>get ze shoe
>we will keep to ourselves
>we
Unironically I learned the best weapon is a AEG. one of those expensive airsoft guns. You don’t need the lipo battery with voltage. Normal ones at 8-9v with a few thousand Mah will do fine. Get a hicap mag. .23g bbs are fine. That kind of gun will shred any bug or spider without destroying walls/furniture.
If that was in my house I would kill myself.
Why?
Can you imagine living in the same house as a h*man?
NTA, but I understand completely. I wouldn't want to live in Australia, either.
Yeah, me too, humans are fricking scary.
Are there really spiders that big? That thing is big enough to frick.
T. Blondi, the goliath birdeater. In terms of body mass, they're the largest spiders in the world. Their bite is mostly harmless beyond the whole two inch fangs impaling you thing, the real problem is that they have a nasty tendency to fling their hair at potential threats, and it stings like a b***h if it gets in your eyes.
Largest above sea arachnid. Tiny compared to the largest.
note that I said "spiders" and not "arachnids". While all spiders are indeed arachnids, not all arachnids are spiders. Big difference
Post spider crab
Why are you thinking about fricking spiders
I keep some big ones and the bigger they get the more frail they are. A five foot fall can be a death sentence for a tarantula which is kind of goofy if you think about it but small bumps can rip open their abdomen and the bigger they get the slower they move because of how their respiratory system works.
I had a Rose Hair as a kid. It’s interesting how deliberate they are with their movement.
I thought short falls affected most things equally regardless of body mass since gravity accelerates everything at the same rate. Is it some weird problem with their exoskeleton when they get that big?
Inverse square law
>Theraphosa blondi
My one true love.
There is lots of tarantulas where I live. If one randomly appears, it's because something ousted them from their shit hole - they aren't looking for food. Most tarantulas just don't meander around, especially in residential areas. They're slow as shit, Just grab an oven mitt, pick it up by its ass, & toss it over the fence. However, there are lots of scorpions where I live too & I gladly declared genocide on them years ago. Fricking hate those things.
Don't toss. They're rather fragile.
Thank you friend
This Black person knows what's up.
I have killed spiders this size in Cambodia just by brushing them of the ceiling/wall. Gravity very effectively does the rest. I almost felt bad.
>Most tarantulas just don't meander around, especially in residential areas.
Except males during mating season, usually late summer. I've seen hundreds of tarantulas crossing a road.
>how to defeat a spider
>not how to team up with the spider bros
I carry a box of spiders with my in my backpack. Been doing this for several years since I started living in a bad neighborhood. I’m a really nice guy so people think I’m an easy target. Every time a street gang comes up to me while I’m walking to work and back and tries to assault me I stay calm and collected with a smile on my face. Then I throw my box of spiders at them. They get covered in spiders. Some are venomous, some are not, idc. I collect them from my basement where I let them breed. No weapon in the world is as effective as hundreds of spiders crawling all over a person. The screams those thugs make brings a smile to my face. Now I carry them as a backup but nobody has bothered to mess with me for a year.
What's happening there?
A mud sorcerer trolling the police
>I carry a box of spiders with my in my backpack. Been doing this for several years since I started living in a bad neighborhood. I’m a really nice guy so people think I’m an easy target. Every time a street gang comes up to me while I’m walking to work and back and tries to assault me I stay calm and collected with a smile on my face. Then I throw my box of spiders at them. They get covered in spiders. Some are venomous, some are not, idc. I collect them from my basement where I let them breed. No weapon in the world is as effective as hundreds of spiders crawling all over a person. The screams those thugs make brings a smile to my face. Now I carry them as a backup but nobody has bothered to mess with me for a year.
someone actually typed this crap
You’re kind of a homosexual bro
Decent pasta
Knowing that two spiders in a box will instantly attack and eat each other kinda spoils this post.
In terms of weapons you will need to get smart, put some of your webbing at eye level at the top of the stairs or consider hiding near their keyboard and rushing in to deliver a bite when they least expect it.
Or just unplug the internet. Hu-troons will simply neck themselves without constant reinforcement.
Those are opiliones. One time I stuck my phone in a hollow tree to see what was inside and saw a zerg of them coming toward me.
your oven should have a massive metal fly swatter in it, try hitting it with that.
Dude you can just pick it up and carefully move it outside. T. blondi are super chill and their bites don’t even really hurt, it’s just a pinch and then some itching
The venom is pretty weak (around the strength of a bee sting) but the fangs are quite large.
They don’t stick em in super deep though. I’ve been bitten by this species; it’s way less painful than a Yellowjacket sting
If they need to be that big they're not going to kill you. They're going to kill whatever disease-spreading vermin is in your house to lead them there. Let them do their fricking job you c**t. Or tidy up. Your choice.
You telling me if I see a spider the size of a cow there's even less to worry about, that it will defend me from bears or some shit? Na, frick you. I will not be tricked, I will not have eggs laid in me.
If the spider is the size of a cow, you'd be too small to lay eggs in.
A new world tarantula (North and South America) isn't going to kill you. Even something as big as a Goliath Bird Eater won't kill you. Their venom is on par with a wasp sting and is a nothing burger unless you have some kind of allergy. Their Urticating hairs they kick off in defense can be very unpleasant especially if you breath them in or get them in your eyes.
Old world Tarantulas don't have these kicking hairs, but their venom is more potent. It'll make the toughest of men cry if you get a bite from a tarantula from parts ofAfrica, Asia, etc. But so far, nobody has really died from a Tarantula bite. I'd be more afraid of dogs or cats to be honest. Hamster bites aren't a joke either. Fear of arachnids is overrated normalgay bullshit.
Dog bites crack your bones which then heal stronger than before, cat germs boost your immune system when they inject them into your flesh with their sharp bits. Spiders serve no useful purpose when they attack.
Their venom gives you the greatest hardest erection you ever had.
Yeah, Erecto Mortis
Spiders...why you have issues with mirrors?
Can't recognize self in reflection. And spiders are generally solitary, so any other spider, of the same sex, is a possible threat.
It's the wasps that collect spiders that you gotta watch out for.
>mud daubers
Are fricking based, they destroy mostly venomous spiders and their babies sing.
>have house free of spiders
>mud dauber spends all day going in and out putting shit on your wall and fills it with still alive spiders that were previously outside
Not all of them do spiders, once sat on a big nest as a kid and it was filled with fricking caterpillars.
This is clearly somebody's pet. You're not going to get one of these in your house unless you're in the middle of the deep jungle
I’d finally have a use for the sword Mr. Tom O'Dell sold me during his Cutlery Corner Network marathon!
I want to pet it
gay spider
there is no tarantula that can kill humans so just scoop it up and take it outside. the scary spiders are small. (camel spiders are scary and deserve death)
Anti-spider rhetoric is a israeli conspiracy to decrease the spider population in order to breed more mosquitos and flies across the globe in order to make more sales on ~~*insect repellent*~~.
This is the dumbest shit ever and I don't get how people are moronic enough to repeat this nonsense over and over.
Avere spiders can survive for DAYS on a single fly they catch. The chance of an insect getting caught in the web is extremely small and they are just adapted to this. If they catch more, they mummify them and leave them in their web.
Bats are the real heroes. Bats eat an average of 6 grams (0.21oz) of insects every night. An average mosquito weighs 2.5 milligrams (0.039 grains).
That's 2400 mosquitoes EVERY NIGHT.
Spidercucks btfo
Trident