>fake the funk to get a one-in-ten chance at half a million dollars >put your ignorance and incompetence on full display, to include breaking your wal-mart folding saw on camera >puss out after seven hours, make up a story about a "bear charge" even though you had a camera recording you the whole time >spend the rest of your life avoiding family BBQs so you don't get roasted
kek
>Aus alone s2 >It's in fricking New Zealand >zero danger >food everywhere >at least 4 people have already fricked off because so ronely >1 guy does nothing for 2 weeks and fricks off >muh abo culture >muh women >muh mental health
Why do I watch this shit.
>ties up a tarp >strikes ferro rod a few times against wet wood >AAAAGGGHHHHHH >I'M KNACKERED >I'M FEELING SO TIGHT IN THE CHEST >ARGGHHH >COUGH COUGH >I'VE BEEN DOING STEROIDS MY WHOLE LIFE, HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN??? >AAAHHH I'M SO SCARED COME GET ME
LMAO what the frick is this? The whole first episode is people just sitting on the beach staring at the ocean while doing nothing. The animals aren't even afraid of them, they just hang around the campsite.
>before I get started I better do an abbo prayer to honor the natives >alright, time to do some awful freestyle rap, shit in my sleeping bag, try to illegally kill animals on camera and then quit
It's hilarious and infuriating at the same time
>I always thought the Aussies and Kiwis were like Florida but they seem really gay
It’s probably more a casting thing, you’re not gonna see any Steve Irwins on that show
Can't do that unless you let them range a lot further and actually hunt the game in the area. You've seen all the stupid restrictions. There was one stupid season where that guy got sick after eating a beaver that the only big game they could hunt were black bear. It's goofy as hell. That's not really surviving. And most seasons have stupid restrictions like that
>that guy got sick after eating a beaver that the only big game they could hunt were black bear
That’s the dumbest shit I’ve ever heard. They’re a million times more likely to get some horrible disease eating a predator like a bear that accumulates parasites than a beaver
https://i.imgur.com/N9YBznt.jpeg
>The australian seasons are a woke abortion
>ties up a tarp >strikes ferro rod a few times against wet wood >AAAAGGGHHHHHH >I'M KNACKERED >I'M FEELING SO TIGHT IN THE CHEST >ARGGHHH >COUGH COUGH >I'VE BEEN DOING STEROIDS MY WHOLE LIFE, HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN??? >AAAHHH I'M SO SCARED COME GET ME
LMAO what the frick is this? The whole first episode is people just sitting on the beach staring at the ocean while doing nothing. The animals aren't even afraid of them, they just hang around the campsite.
>The animals aren't even afraid of them, they just hang around the campsite.
It’s because that area of Tasmania never even had a permanent indigenous settlement because there’s too little large game, not to mention the trout people were eating on the show aren’t even native
this plus the woman putting a axe into her hand are prob the finest moments of proving you cant fake outdoor knowledge, then you have that gigachad in season 3 or 4 that lived in siberia and absolutely destroyed everyone
they are always trying force some racial or girl boss bullshit ever season now, they always dredge up some annoying ass character and milk the footage to make like they lasted way longer like that dumb 1/2 british c**t in season 5 that faked her accent.
Now that Pablo the diversity slug "won" by lying in one spot and refusing to do anything the show will be an endless parade of un-entertaining bullshit unless they implement some strict rules
Yes, and just like I said, it wasn't entertaining >I'm hungry, better quit >I miss my fiance, better quit >I just came here to b***h about my dad, time to quit now >muh journey is complete, lol bye
You'd have to give them goals to meet at certain points >been out for two weeks? Let's see your shelter >got to the two month mark? You'd better have constructed some sort of food storage >100 days? Where's your statue of Roland, peasant?
I know it would make it more like a game show, which sucks, but no amount of editing can turn hundreds of hours of "hurr durr here I am in my sleeping bag again, wallowing in my filth" into enjoyable TV. Survival exercise or no, at the end of the day it's a show for us to watch and people aren't going to keep coming back for "NapCam: when survival gets sleepy"
>t. enjoys watching one-hour compilations of people shitting in their sleeping bags
Good for you, but some of us have standards
3 weeks ago
Anonymous
And some of us want to continue watching the show we've watched 10 seasons of. What you're proposing not only goes against the spirit of the show but it wouldn't even work, there's really nothing you can do to stop someone if they decide they want to fast.
3 weeks ago
Anonymous
You won't be watching it anymore if every contestant just plunks their asses down and refuses to do anything, because anybody with more than two neurons to rub together will stop watching and History will drop it. >"""fasting"""
Saying you're not even going to maintain a fire because it's too much work isn't fasting
3 weeks ago
Anonymous
>there's really nothing you can do to stop someone if they decide they want to fast.
I think you can greatly mitigate it if you do not allow fat people in. They should have a body fat % limit or something.
3 weeks ago
Anonymous
>fat people are too good at survival
3 weeks ago
Anonymous
Can't do that unless you let them range a lot further and actually hunt the game in the area. You've seen all the stupid restrictions. There was one stupid season where that guy got sick after eating a beaver that the only big game they could hunt were black bear. It's goofy as hell. That's not really surviving. And most seasons have stupid restrictions like that
3 weeks ago
Anonymous
>you can't stop fat people from joining unless you let everyone eat whatever they want
Incorrect. I'll be the first to say that hyping up a season as "grizzly mountain" and then telling people they can't hunt bears is pants-on-head moronic, but that has nothing to do with keeping lards out in the first place. The show is about how you survive while you're there, not how many donuts you ate before it started.
3 weeks ago
Anonymous
Nah. While that is bad. In the Beaver season they could *only* hunt black bears.
It was pants on head moronic. And they're gps limited in their roaming range to a ridiculously small area. That's not a real test of skills, and if you're not gonna let them really use their skills you can't blame them for starting fat.
3 weeks ago
Anonymous
>it's not a test of skills unless you make it much easier >you have to let them all roam 5+ miles from their starting points or it isn't fair >that's why they have to be fat lards and make a really shitty show
lol
>girl boss bullshit
I dunno anon there have been a lot of females that have done really well on this show. It doesn't feel forced. It makes sense as they have lower calorie needs
Don’t forget the obese troony >I used to be a cop! >I have PTSD >Bear sniffs shelter >troony honks clown horn >Muh PTSD! >It’s not good to be good at violence!
Frick off homosexual you got scared by a bear.
What about that guy from Georgia in the last season who had like 5 children but the only one he ever talked to and about during the entire show was his one autistic kid.
Yes, this ranks right up there with the spook drinking bad water and tripping his balls off. Season 1 had some of the quickest tap outs of the whole series.
Motorpool jockey in OP's pic still holds the record at seven hours; I wonder if they set an unofficial minimum time limit because of him >if you tap out inside the first 24 hours we're not coming to get you, so don't be a pansy-ass b***h
I still don't get why he was like that. Every season of Alone on Vancouver island starts with "OOOAH HIGH BEAR POPULATION!!!!". I have difficulty believing there are people this moronic out there that even reach his age, let alone people who go PrepHole. Surely drinking some stagnant water takes those people out of the equation somewhere along the way.
Funniest Alone season was the “Alone Together” one where two brothers found the perfect spot, and then one of them started saying that he missed his family, and the other one really didn’t wanted to go quick.
>fake the funk to get a one-in-ten chance at half a million dollars
>put your ignorance and incompetence on full display, to include breaking your wal-mart folding saw on camera
>puss out after seven hours, make up a story about a "bear charge" even though you had a camera recording you the whole time
>spend the rest of your life avoiding family BBQs so you don't get roasted
kek
>Aus alone s2
>It's in fricking New Zealand
>zero danger
>food everywhere
>at least 4 people have already fricked off because so ronely
>1 guy does nothing for 2 weeks and fricks off
>muh abo culture
>muh women
>muh mental health
Why do I watch this shit.
I couldn't make it through one episode of the first aussie shitshow
Alone is hit and miss
The australian seasons are a woke abortion
I always thought the Aussies and Kiwis were like Florida but they seem really gay
Unsurprising really. They're like Americans but without even the smallest measure of freedom or rights.
>The australian seasons are a woke abortion
>ties up a tarp
>strikes ferro rod a few times against wet wood
>AAAAGGGHHHHHH
>I'M KNACKERED
>I'M FEELING SO TIGHT IN THE CHEST
>ARGGHHH
>COUGH COUGH
>I'VE BEEN DOING STEROIDS MY WHOLE LIFE, HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN???
>AAAHHH I'M SO SCARED COME GET ME
LMAO what the frick is this? The whole first episode is people just sitting on the beach staring at the ocean while doing nothing. The animals aren't even afraid of them, they just hang around the campsite.
>before I get started I better do an abbo prayer to honor the natives
>alright, time to do some awful freestyle rap, shit in my sleeping bag, try to illegally kill animals on camera and then quit
It's hilarious and infuriating at the same time
>I always thought the Aussies and Kiwis were like Florida but they seem really gay
It’s probably more a casting thing, you’re not gonna see any Steve Irwins on that show
>that guy got sick after eating a beaver that the only big game they could hunt were black bear
That’s the dumbest shit I’ve ever heard. They’re a million times more likely to get some horrible disease eating a predator like a bear that accumulates parasites than a beaver
>The animals aren't even afraid of them, they just hang around the campsite.
It’s because that area of Tasmania never even had a permanent indigenous settlement because there’s too little large game, not to mention the trout people were eating on the show aren’t even native
They could’ve at least done it somewhere in northern Australia with dingos and crocodiles
this plus the woman putting a axe into her hand are prob the finest moments of proving you cant fake outdoor knowledge, then you have that gigachad in season 3 or 4 that lived in siberia and absolutely destroyed everyone
they are always trying force some racial or girl boss bullshit ever season now, they always dredge up some annoying ass character and milk the footage to make like they lasted way longer like that dumb 1/2 british c**t in season 5 that faked her accent.
Now that Pablo the diversity slug "won" by lying in one spot and refusing to do anything the show will be an endless parade of un-entertaining bullshit unless they implement some strict rules
Bro the last season was won by a white high school teacher and it was the shortest yet because Northern Saskatchewan weather is just that shitty
Yes, and just like I said, it wasn't entertaining
>I'm hungry, better quit
>I miss my fiance, better quit
>I just came here to b***h about my dad, time to quit now
>muh journey is complete, lol bye
How tf could they even make a rule addressing that and enforce it
>you're only allowed to starve if it's not intentional
You'd have to give them goals to meet at certain points
>been out for two weeks? Let's see your shelter
>got to the two month mark? You'd better have constructed some sort of food storage
>100 days? Where's your statue of Roland, peasant?
I know it would make it more like a game show, which sucks, but no amount of editing can turn hundreds of hours of "hurr durr here I am in my sleeping bag again, wallowing in my filth" into enjoyable TV. Survival exercise or no, at the end of the day it's a show for us to watch and people aren't going to keep coming back for "NapCam: when survival gets sleepy"
That's fricking stupid. I'll take a few boring contestants over fundamentally altering the show by requiring arbitrary tasks
Verification not required
>t. enjoys watching one-hour compilations of people shitting in their sleeping bags
Good for you, but some of us have standards
And some of us want to continue watching the show we've watched 10 seasons of. What you're proposing not only goes against the spirit of the show but it wouldn't even work, there's really nothing you can do to stop someone if they decide they want to fast.
You won't be watching it anymore if every contestant just plunks their asses down and refuses to do anything, because anybody with more than two neurons to rub together will stop watching and History will drop it.
>"""fasting"""
Saying you're not even going to maintain a fire because it's too much work isn't fasting
>there's really nothing you can do to stop someone if they decide they want to fast.
I think you can greatly mitigate it if you do not allow fat people in. They should have a body fat % limit or something.
>fat people are too good at survival
Can't do that unless you let them range a lot further and actually hunt the game in the area. You've seen all the stupid restrictions. There was one stupid season where that guy got sick after eating a beaver that the only big game they could hunt were black bear. It's goofy as hell. That's not really surviving. And most seasons have stupid restrictions like that
>you can't stop fat people from joining unless you let everyone eat whatever they want
Incorrect. I'll be the first to say that hyping up a season as "grizzly mountain" and then telling people they can't hunt bears is pants-on-head moronic, but that has nothing to do with keeping lards out in the first place. The show is about how you survive while you're there, not how many donuts you ate before it started.
Nah. While that is bad. In the Beaver season they could *only* hunt black bears.
It was pants on head moronic. And they're gps limited in their roaming range to a ridiculously small area. That's not a real test of skills, and if you're not gonna let them really use their skills you can't blame them for starting fat.
>it's not a test of skills unless you make it much easier
>you have to let them all roam 5+ miles from their starting points or it isn't fair
>that's why they have to be fat lards and make a really shitty show
lol
>girl boss bullshit
I dunno anon there have been a lot of females that have done really well on this show. It doesn't feel forced. It makes sense as they have lower calorie needs
Don’t forget the obese troony
>I used to be a cop!
>I have PTSD
>Bear sniffs shelter
>troony honks clown horn
>Muh PTSD!
>It’s not good to be good at violence!
Frick off homosexual you got scared by a bear.
Ironically, she later died for completely non-bear-related reasons
Self delete?
Naked and afraid is better
Anyone watched Alone Sweden? Is it worth the download?
>Lay in one spot, but his time it's the fricking law
*this time
The feeling in my hands is getting all wonky, sometimes my fingers will move and hit keys and I won't even feel them typing
i have autocorrect
What about that guy from Georgia in the last season who had like 5 children but the only one he ever talked to and about during the entire show was his one autistic kid.
After his third speech about his defective child I just skipped his video entries for the rest of the season
>his son posts on PrepHole
>NIKOLAI MA moronic SOOON
>NIKOLAI DADDY MISSUSS YOOOUU
>NIKOLAI I MAADE YOUU A TOY MA moronic SOOONNN
I call him rat king, I think if given a chance he would make a throne out of stuffed rats and sit in it while wearing a rat pelt suit.
built for bbc (big bear wiener)
Yes, this ranks right up there with the spook drinking bad water and tripping his balls off. Season 1 had some of the quickest tap outs of the whole series.
Motorpool jockey in OP's pic still holds the record at seven hours; I wonder if they set an unofficial minimum time limit because of him
>if you tap out inside the first 24 hours we're not coming to get you, so don't be a pansy-ass b***h
Why? It's hilarious, makes for good TV.
I still don't get why he was like that. Every season of Alone on Vancouver island starts with "OOOAH HIGH BEAR POPULATION!!!!". I have difficulty believing there are people this moronic out there that even reach his age, let alone people who go PrepHole. Surely drinking some stagnant water takes those people out of the equation somewhere along the way.
Funniest shit. I love it when people do well, but I also love it when there's a token idiot like this.
Fun series but it really went stale after starving became the meta.
You obviously didn't watch the seasons where someone hunted big game. Clay, Roland and Jordan were thriving more so than just surviving.
I killed a black bear with a tire iron. Dude brought the wrong supplies.
Holy shit, story?
Funniest Alone season was the “Alone Together” one where two brothers found the perfect spot, and then one of them started saying that he missed his family, and the other one really didn’t wanted to go quick.
I'd be inclined to disagree
its quite easy how. let them set goals during interview
maybe id be cool if they get help in the first week from their husbandos
>AYO, HOL UP *SMACKS LIPS* DEY BEARS OUT HERE? OH HELL NAWWWWWW I AINT BUILT FOR DEM BEARS
>HOL UP, BEARS? YALL SAYIN DERE BE BEARS OUT HERE HELL NAWWWWWWWWWWW BRO I AINT BUILT FOR BEARS
I thought bears were just things you saw on tv Tbqh