How would a Russian invasion into the Appalachians play out?

How would a Russian invasion into the Appalachians play out?

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  1. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    poorly for the russians

  2. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Aren't those some mountains in bumfrick nowhere?

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      All mountains are in bumfrick nowhere because few people live there. The difference is Appalachia is known for the bumfricks.

      Yah this thread is great. Thanks, op.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >because few people live there
        2/3rds of Americas population lives in driving distance of the lower Appalachias.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >American understanding of their own geography

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        To be fair the scale of the US is huge. This could legit be like someone in Poland or Belarus not knowing the geography of Spain except it's someone in New Mexico not knowing much about West Virginia. Regularly have to point out that the distance from LA to NYC is about the same as the distance from Lisbon Portugal to Moscow Russia if you just drew a straight line between each destination.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          I'm an Australian. I'd be rightly treated as a mental moron for not knowing the Blue Mountains exist.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            Sure, at the same time you probably don't actually know much about the place beyond "they're mountains" right? I'd expect most of us would probably phrase our questions about either region much better than he did hih.

            He really should've just opened up google for 5 seconds to confirm instead of asking a dumb question.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            i mean unless you are in Perth you are closer to the Blue Mtns than someone on the West Coast is to Appalachia, also Sydney is smack dab in the middle of the Blue Mtns so a bit more important to Australia at large.

            • 1 month ago
              Anonymous

              Perthgays will also know what and where the Blue Mountains are.

            • 1 month ago
              Anonymous

              >also Sydney is smack dab in the middle of the Blue Mtns so a bit more important to Australia at large.
              And no it isn't lol

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                in what way is Sydney not in the middle of the blue mtns?

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                Look at the topography and get back to me.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                Yes it appears to be rather cornered by mountains, one might even say surrounded, a small sliver to the ocean doesn't change that.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                One might even call such a feature a valley.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      They would be raped to death. The military would be involved to prevent those hard scrabble crackers from commiting atrocities.
      Really. Those people are hyper patriotic and most are military veterans who would enjoy raping then selling off organs.

      People who frick around there vanish. The Mexican cartels tried to establish there in the 90's. Hundreds vanished. No kidnapping or records or responses. The Mexicans just kept vanishing. Only Alaska and California would be worst and even they have "chill'. The hill billies scare off the American military including Delta Force.
      Delta even stays off their territory. Delta Force is afraid to go there even to train. Recruits kept vanishing during the 40 mile plus first trial.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Chat, is this true?

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          Probably not, but it wouldn't surprise me if it were true.
          There's some weird shit up there.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          Probably not to the degree he's claiming but one of my favorite correlations is disappearances and known cave systems. Tons of people go missing never to be seen again in those mountains.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            >National park services has left the chat
            The parks are perfectly safe, stop being paranoid lmao

            • 1 month ago
              Anonymous

              Right? I wouldn't worry about it.

            • 1 month ago
              Anonymous

              The rumors about underground cannibal tribes are completely unfounded.
              Most of the caverns are uninhabited and as long as you steer clear of the few that are we won't bother you.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                Russians will find the true meaning behind finger licking good

  3. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Badly, but why the frick would they? Unless the Russian invasion hinges on coal, hotsprings and whitewater rafting, they would just go around it. Every motherfricker likes to circlejerk that their backwater would be hellish to invade, and they're often right, but they forget that if they actually had anything worth invading over; they wouldn't be a backwater.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      If you're trying to get from the Atlantic inland you can't go around them, unless you go up the Mississippi. But then you have a massive flank with the Appalacians

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Ah yes, if course. Insurmountable Appalachia threatening the flank. However will the Russian-Mississippi flotilla strike at the heart of the American empire in Iowa?

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          not iowa, but the rest of the midwest. chicago is still a major city and financial/logistics/communications hub.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        They'd just go through Canada.
        >nothing but plains
        >oil fields
        >no military to speak of
        >barely any people
        >the only people aren't worth mentioning
        Honestly why would they bother with Appalachia.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        see

        They'd just go through Canada.
        >nothing but plains
        >oil fields
        >no military to speak of
        >barely any people
        >the only people aren't worth mentioning
        Honestly why would they bother with Appalachia.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          They'd just go through Canada.
          >nothing but plains
          >oil fields
          >no military to speak of
          >barely any people
          >the only people aren't worth mentioning
          Honestly why would they bother with Appalachia.

          Where do you enter in from?
          >Enter in from BC, it’s mountains. There is a naval presence with 5 Canadian Frigates, 3 Subs, and 6 coastal defense ships
          >By the time you’re trying to land in the Fraser Valley, NORAD has turned your landing party into a kill zone
          >Entering East Coast means going around Halifax with another 7 Frigates, 6 Coastal Defense ships, and 1 Sub
          >Enter into Saint Lawrence River and become target practice for F-18 Hornets turning the remaining Russian fleet into eternal submarines.
          >By the time they land in Quebec you’re already taken so long that the US military is waiting for you. Air Force would end the invasion very quickly
          Unironically the only way for Russia to “invade” is to pretend to be migrants crossing the US/Mexico border, carry guns and explosives, and start carrying sabotage operations in the Permian oil fields, and do guerilla tactics. Everything else is a hilarious curbstomp.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            It is a moronic plan any way you spin it. Might as well take an icebreaker through to James bay and send a landing party down the Moose River to Kapuskasing. Loot as much paper as can be carried, go back and call it a win.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Not good. Appalachia has one of the most extensive cave systems in the world. It'll be a guerilla fighter's wet dream.

      Also this. Even federal agents tread lightly in Hillbilly territory.

      Appalachistan would kill all of the federal agents,, err, I mean Russians.

      And This Is Why.

  4. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Appalachistan would kill all of the federal agents,, err, I mean Russians.

  5. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    What if we shit out our mouths and ate through our asses because that's what you sound like you fricking shit skin.

  6. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I'M LOOKIN AT FIGHTER JETS OVER I-95

  7. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    How did the Russian invasions of Chechnya play out?

  8. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    If the entire world descended upon the Americas with every bit of military might they could muster the Appalachians would be the last part to fall. It’s Switzerland with meth heads.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >It’s Switzerland with meth heads.
      Meath heads with extensive mining and related explosives knowledge

  9. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    They would be welcomed as liberators.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Nah, you greatly underestimate how badly hillbillies look for an excuse to use their guns to kill something
      t. former boone resident

  10. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    they show up, immediately realize there is nothing of value in the region and leave

  11. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Eaten by mountain men. Wrong Turn was a documentary.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Shut up, my community wishes to live in peace.
      Unless you bring in some women as tribute

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >if you bring tribute we will bring war
        What did the mountain men mean by this?

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          wet dicks for wet work

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          >Thousands of well-armed and intoxicated hobos with access to rusty guns, ork welded vehicles and golf buggies declare war on the US government in an incomprehensible language
          >some of them have access to weapons of unimageable destructive power that just fell into their hands at the end of the Cold War

          Would anyone notice? Would the Russians really not immediately drop their identity and decide to live in America?

          That the mountain men don't want women as tribute. Their mountain ways may seem queer to us but we must respect them.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            of well-armed and intoxicated hobos with access to rusty guns, ork welded vehicles and golf buggies declare war on the US government in an incomprehensible language
            >>some of them have access to weapons of unimageable destructive power that just fell into their hands at the end of the Cold War
            I honestly can't tell if you're talking about the Russians or the Appalachians.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            Confirmed Appalachians are the Ork Faction.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >Wrong Turn meets Red Dawn
      Fund it! It can only be better than that reboot that came out last year.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        I liked the reboot though

  12. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    [muffled dueling banjos in distance]
    And now the ass is truly in the ass

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Bruh, the ass gon be on the dinnerplate

  13. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    They will grow mushrooms. The big sort of mushrooms.
    At this time and age the only people who want to occupy US land are mexicans, southern americans and chinese. Maybe some odd pajeet who's heard that there are indian preserves in murica.

  14. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    It would be extremely painful.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      UUUU

  15. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    The local population would be jacked to the breasts to hunt russians like game animals and loot their gear. So, poorly would be my guess.

  16. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >How would a Russian invasion into the Appalachians play out?
    How would dropping mice in a running blender play out?

  17. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    We'd be wearing their scalps and drinking moonshine from their skull.
    These hills are already hard enough to navigate for the people that live here, let alone the poor Pidor that has to drop in.
    As much as we down play being mountaineers, most of the people here are born survivalist. Not the larping kind, either. Even the drug addicts.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >We'd be wearing their scalps and drinking moonshine from their skull.
      Anon, that's how you get AIDS.
      >Appalachians
      Oh, never mind, carry on.

  18. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >How would a Russian invasion into the Appalachians play out?
    if you combined every single country's army (other than the US) and started them out in two flotillas, one in San Francisco, one in Richmond, they would never in a million years meet in the middle, let alone probably get more than 100 miles inland

    if you assume that only 10% able-bodied gun owners participated in a resistance, that's still close to a 3 million person standing army of irregulars who intimately know the lap of the land and are totally indistinguishable from the local populace
    a conservative 30,000 of those are basically SOF-lite with skills and training, NODs, and suppressors

    america is un-invadeable in a conventional sense, which is the reason why it needs to be economically kneecapped by BlackRock, the Fed, and the COMEX while simultaneously invaded by immigrants and ideologically subverted

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >the resistance LARP
      The taliban was in much better condition than your average redneck militia and still got kicked around for 20 years

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      You clearly underestimate how passive Americans are
      You guys may make fun of Russians for acting the way they do but at least 75% of the stuff that you make fun of Russians for doing applies to the vast majority of Americans

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        In cities maybe. You get to the countryside and try to "invade" militarily good fricking luck. You are getting sniped by hicks who been hunting since they were children.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          >Americans
          >choosing hardship over comfort
          Yeah all 7 of those guys will change a lot

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            Let's go then homosexual.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >if you assume that only 10% able-bodied gun owners participated in a resistance, that's still close to a 3 million person standing army of irregulars who intimately know the lap of the land and are totally indistinguishable from the local populace
      >a conservative 30,000 of those are basically SOF-lite with skills and training, NODs, and suppressors

      Typical no-knowledge american braggadocio. In reality, once the fuel and food transportation systems are bombed to shit, most of these stronk independent amerimutts that need no human would be dying from exposure, dysentery and starvation, and use their guns and ammo on each other.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >a conservative 30,000 of those are basically SOF-lite with skills and training, NODs, and suppressors
      A conservative 30,000 of them have achieved a level of individual training lower than the exit standard of infantry AIT and a lower level of collective training than bootcamp, but have bought the equipment that they think will make them look most like SOF. None of them meet the entry standards to commence an SOF reinforcement course, let along starting to achieve any of the training outcomes. Anyone who thinks otherwise clearly has absolutely no idea how much SF learn and practice in their full time, residential, 1-2 year long, extremely well resourced and costly training.

  19. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >supply lines either through the arctic or 10,000 of sea
    would the americans even need to fire a shot?

  20. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >it's another shithole
    If they go full Forest Brothers Suppression on the rednecks they exterminate them. If they try to halfass it ala Chechnya, both sides take a lot of casualties and nothing happens until some redneck druggies realize Moscow pays better than coal mines, turn on the other locals, and become Kadyrov II.

  21. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    The Red Dawn sequel we REALLY deserved.....
    Or the next DEATH WISH franchise prompt.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      bonus, this time its also with POTUS Kamala! :()

      Portland and Seattle are obvious choices but strangely enough so is Colorado.

      Cartels would also play a role as "New Govt" and bringing the large and pervasive LatinX populations in line.

      Fun Fact: every Mexican in the USA is a Cartel Sleeper Cell, and that goes double for any cops and triple for any elected officials and judges.

  22. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    You ever see the movie Deliverance?
    >[Dueling Banjos Intensify]
    The Russians might actually enjoy it!

  23. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Entire russian force obliterated before it even boards the aircraft in russia

  24. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    The american mountain ranges are an absolute nightmare. We did some training trying to go through the north cascades and we kept getting slaughtered by our snipers because they could set up across a gully or a river crossing and kill us before we could even see them. And when we were the bad guys we could just call for fire and they never even knew we were there.

  25. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Pretty good if they play it right. Crack and fentanyl in exchange for the names and locations of key insurgents, as long as the drugs flow free and easy there wouldn't even be regrets. Could even introduce people to krokodil, if that's still a thing.
    >"Cmon guys, bobby wouldn't sell us out. he's got a problem sure, but he's a good guy and hes been doing really good lately. he hasn't even stolen from moms purse in like, at least two weeks..."
    >At that moment, bobby stands across the street, pointing emphatically at the goon secret clubhouse while hungrily eyeing the large bag of ready rocks in the FSB agents hand.
    >The agent shrugs, hands over the bag and watches bobby sprint off down the street, glaring suspiciously at anybody who might steal his prize.
    >He turns and nods to the waiting assault team, who ready their thermobaric launchers at the brick colonial-revival structure housing the future of the resistance

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >Could even introduce people to krokodil, if that's still a thing.

      Krokodil is similar to fentanyl but much weaker per milligram. America #1.

  26. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    There’s some real hardcore Lovecraft shit up in the old hills. The poor VDV troops would find themselves starring in the Blair Witch Project 2.

  27. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    It's not the Russian
    It the Wu Tan crushin
    Roulette
    Slip up and get fricked like Suzette
    Bring da frickin ruckus

    Captcha is with me

  28. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    "Squeal like a piggie, boy."

  29. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >have Putin announce he's going to reinstate Trump and rape Biden to death on live television
    >VDV get greeted as liberators with bouquets of flowers

    You can thank me with a three-night stay in Shoigu's wood palace later.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >VDV get greeted as liberators
      Hey, I've heard that before, that one's a classic

  30. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Sunk/shot down before they can even get close. Purely in hypothetical land though where they actually get there in the first place and the US military does nothing to stop them they still get their asses shot off. The survivors have panic attacks upon hearing a banjo in the dark. If you're a mobik and you find a pristine jar of moonshine, apple jack, or some other local flavor sitting on a stump or a rock in the middle of nowhere that you just walked up to you best take a sip and enjoy it because you're probably not leaving that spot under your own power and someone's feeling polite enough to let you have a last drink before they send you on your way.

    Typical attempts at violent repression, which the Russians would absolutely try, come with the opposite effect leading to even more very angry hillbillies shooting at them from the woods every chance they get. The ghost of Simo Häyhä smiles as thousands if not tens of thousands of local hunters switch from deer and whatnot to blasting Russians. It'd be downright impossible to deal with insurgents because Appalachia's utterly insane cave networks make Afghanistan look solid. Between that and moonshiners having sometimes generations of experience when it comes to hiding from authorities in the woods it'll be like fighting ghosts. Russian casualties would be titanic.

    When it's all over and the Russians have been forced out there'd be taxidermied mobiks in local private museums and heads hung on the walls of people's homes as trophies. Then the next war kicks off almost immediately when the ATF tries to round people (who are now battle hardened) up for possessing unregistered machine guns and DDs (war trophies).

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Vgh... the appalachian wars... my new favorite althis setting

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >who were the Forest Brothers
      Stalin deleted the Euro-Appalachian insurgency with no drugs and technology 50 years worse than Putin's.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        The Baltic states are a hell of a lot closer than Appalachia and MUCH smaller with far fewer massive cave networks. Today's Russia is honestly a far cry from Stalin's mighty soviet hordes of the late 40s to mid 50s. It's also a safe bet the Lithuanians, Latvians, and Estonians of the time weren't the sort that had a pile of guns and ammo per person.

        >50 years worse
        He says when the current Russian army has been seen using T-55s and nuggets.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          You think back then they weren't using crap for the period too? Russia has always been a shithole. It doesn't take advanced tech to beat partisans, simply a brutal government.

          >weren't the sort that had a pile of guns and ammo per person.
          They were WW2 veterans with deep stocks of weapons, including explosives. It doesn't matter here tho because larpers don't care about history or politics or logistics. They're schizos indulging in a persecution fantasy.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            Something like using T-34s in the 1950s is a far cry from t-54s and 55s in 2024. The soviet military was huge, well drilled, well maintained, and likely far less affected by corruption back then too. It's pretty likely the average Soviet soldier from the 50s is a better soldier than the vast majority of modern mobiks fighting in Ukraine.

            Veterans had guns in the forest brothers. Ok, that's to be expected. In the Appalachians EVERYONE has guns. Yeah I know, not literally everyone. However there are easily enough guns for every man, woman, and child to be armed. Many on those folks hunt religiously in the very woods they'll stalk your boys through. There's a man who was a local hunter that became legendary for killing Russians in the Winter War, I've already mentioned his name. The people that have never shot a gun are a minority. Many folks also have explosives or access to them. Plenty of folks also have or have access to loads of heavy equipment that could easily make passing through those mountains even harder than it already is.

            Do you seriously think the terrain of Appalachia and the Baltics are comparable? Have you never looked at either region in google earth?

            >politics or logistics
            Anon... there's a reason I mentioned the nations your example took place in and how they are significantly closer to Russia than the Appalachians. There's a pile of reasons Russia couldn't even hope to invade the Appalachians and aside from the US military greeting them warmly before they even hit land the logistics would be a fricking nightmare. This whole thing requires the mother of all handicaps being given to Russia for it to even start. You're acting like it's absurd anyone could stand against the Russians when it's far more absurd to think they could even make it to the beaches they'd have to get past in the first place.

            The only realistic outcome if they even tried it is a frickload of Russians become hagworm chow after paying a visit to Davy Jones's Locker.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      kekkk

      sounds about right

      The Russian commandos couldn't take an undefended airport even with first strike.

      Now they want to take a whole mountain wilderness manned by armed paranoids?

      Unless they open with like 10 Nagasakis with modern nukes right off the bat, forget it.

      Even then the ones who are not caught in the deathzones will be pissed and alert and bunkered down for siege.

      This will be the battle of Stalingrad except
      >the Russians will be doing the invading
      >through dangerous wastes
      >at multiple multiple multiple defended positions
      >with multiple multiple multiple entry and egress
      >and waiting defenders with ammo stockpiles
      >and explosives
      >and hooch and drugfueled disregard for life

      Russia is in day 900 of a 3 day picnic invading open towns and farmlands.

      If it tries the Appalachians there will be no more Russia.

  31. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    About as well as a US invasion of Krasnoyarsk

  32. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    The Appalachia Oblast cannot be invaded

  33. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I dunno, I feel that once they get over the culture shock the moronic hillbillies would get along with Central Asian brain dead peasants.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Aryans were Central Asians, dumbass.
      They're basically cousins,

  34. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    How would a Fed invasion of the Appalachians work out? A bit better, being closer up, but not that well.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      An outright invasion? Ruby Ridge and Waco times a thousand, ends worse for the Feds.

  35. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Lost, presumed raped by locals.

  36. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    They'd get taken by the mountain people and turned into jerky. They wouldn't even make it to the nearest town.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Hell, they'd probably do the same to an American unit on an exercise

  37. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Never ask a west Virginian bear where he gets his food

  38. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Decisive Russian Victory
    >Thousands of Russians eaten
    >All infrastructure captured and transported to the Motherland
    >Increase in Russian living standards

  39. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >How would a Russian invasion into the Appalachians play out?

    It wouldn't.

  40. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    poorly. for the vatniks.

  41. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    > How would a Russian invasion into the Appalachians play out?

  42. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Russians do not invade the Appalachians. Why do so when better mountain ranges are available?

  43. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Honestly, it'd be rough for the Russians, but we have a shitload of geezers who aren't in any condition to fight. Something like 50% of my little Appalachian town is over 65 and most of those are poor shape. Most of the area has similar demographics. They might be able to take potshots from cover or plant IEDs, but anything involving speedy movement isn't happening.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Issue is so much of Appalachia makes any kind of speedy movement either practically impossible or limited to chokepoints that can be easily blocked and sabotaged by literally anyone bored enough to bother, or hell just not bothering to clean up debris after a big storm. Russia can barely manage warfare on a country right on its own borders, and even dealing with some relatively tiny region that only numbered in the low millions at most resulted in over a decade of conflict that was only resolved after Chechen leaders were bought out by the kremlin. Now imagine 206,000 square miles of dense mountain and forest with roughly 26 million people spread throughout 13 states. There is literally nothing they can do even if they somehow mustered enough people to get to Appalachia. Its practically Afghanistan with forests.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >Something like 50% of my little Appalachian town is over 65 and most of those are poor shape.

      Without a steady supply of blood pressure medication almost all of these people would be dead within 1 year. Most would die within a few weeks of no medication. Where do this medication come from? China.

  44. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    implying it would even get to that in the first place

  45. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Russia can't project force that far, let alone inside the US.

  46. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I can hear some muffled voice behind a shaggy beard singing to the tune of a banjo thousands of miles away in the end of a holler.
    >come on down, come on down

  47. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    How are they going to get to Appalachia?
    Frick Appalachia, how they going to reach the Atlantic ocean?

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Just call up their relatives who already live in the US. Fricking vatniks are all over the west coast.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        1 hour after invasion It will be the largest beige crowd USCIS ever seen.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        I don’t want a war, but if there was one good thing in wartime, local vatBlack folk would get their ass cooked. People might be willing to sip worrying amounts of kool-aid beneficial to Russia as part of America’s moronation brought by political polarization, but in actual wartime, the sheer hate towards invaders would probably wash the doubts away from everyone but those who are 100% irreversibly subverted.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          you sure? it might happen that a quarter of the country goes
          >My life for Yuri
          once rzigger boots step on american soil

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            The fact that people think this is even a remotely likely outcome if Russia got the balls to even try really just shows how bad the partisanship problem is.

            The single easiest way to unify the country is to invade us.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            My personal assumption is that vatBlack persony rises from 3 main factors
            >personal opportunism from the political influencers who drive that shit
            and
            >complete ideological subversion and false belief as Russia as some kind of white conservative messiah
            and
            >the fact that whatever shit Russia does happens so far away that the majority of people don’t really even properly understand the gravity of what they’re talking about, it’s just one distant thing they can use as a ball in internal political bickering

            The last group doesn’t really love Russia, but they are willing to make decisions beneficial to Russia because they see it as a way to own their political opponents while consequences are so far that they don’t have to think about it. But if a real invasion scenario happened, I’d imagine that their ideas of American pride would still make them so mad about the fact that they’re getting invaded that they would forget internal political bickering for the immediate moment. Meanwhile, the first group would be doing what they see as the most beneficial choice for them, and second group would form the actual fifth column. But the first and second groups aren’t that large on themselves.

            • 1 month ago
              Anonymous

              People only like Russia because their minds are still on 80’s action movies where the USSR was still the big bad and the average Russian was portrayed by the likes of Lundgren and Schwarzenegger. They bought the propaganda of Russia being this le based trad Christian state despite the fact it has some of the highest amounts of muslims in Europe, has the highest rates of HIV outside of Africa, and has an article on Wikipedia detailing accepted and ongoing actual rapes and other sexual assaults on men within the military, which also includes a period of soldiers just flat out being prostituted by officers, that is longer than the entire article of Belarus. And the precursor to Dedovschina now has been around since at least the 18th-19th century. Anyone in the West who actually believes the horseshit from the kremlin and isn’t just a grifter looking for a quick buck or an edgy wannabe memer is almost certainlh someone who is getting stirred up by agitprop after being discontent with their home government, which to be fair is likely ass on some level anyways. Its all in an attempt to feel that they’re rebeling against the current system.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            The moment we're at war the Russians are gonna let the mask slip on just how much they hate America and that's gonna alienate basically everyone who was sympathetic to them. Kind of like they did with Ukraine, before 2022 it was all "we're brothers, evil west tries to drive us apart" and from 2022 onwards it was "kill all the piggers". It would be the same with America. And make no mistake, Russians do hate Americans and anyone else they see as having British cultural heritage. When the invasion starts they would begin talking online about how much they hate Americans and how much all Americans need to die, and gloating over dead American civilians. In the invasion itself they'd be raping and shooting and torturing civilians just like in Ukraine, and it wouldn't just be happening in cities, it'd be happening in small town America and basically everywhere the Russians showed up.

            Virtually nobody would support them at that point.

            • 1 month ago
              Anonymous

              >Virtually nobody would support them at that point.
              apart from pedo ritter, chompsky, pic related, an the like

  48. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >rednecks hunting on VDVs
    >rusty pickups drag Tigers
    Same as battle of Kyiv basically.

  49. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Russia will just use firebomb the whole region Tokyo 1945 style and make sure the region is entirely decimated before occupying it, assuming they fully convert to war economy

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >Russia invades and occupies Hokkaido
      >America frees the shit out of them from Okinawa

      What firebombing?

  50. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >How would a Russian invasion into the Appalachians play out?
    It would probably involve most of the Russian fleet sinking about halfway across the Atlantic, and that's before the US even starts firing on them.

  51. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    It would be an astonishing new chapter of opiates and nonconsenual buttfricking for humanity to gawk at.

  52. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >cletus shows ivan the power of moonshine and together they retake appalachia with slav shootin irons
    it would be so based the entire us government would abandon all foreign boondoggles just to deal with it

  53. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    russians aren't even capable of invading their neighbor, how are they going to get across an ocean? ukraine made all their ships anyway, actual russians are barely human and genetically inferior to everyone around them

  54. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >a bunch of FAS drunks and druggies without indoor plumbing, used to living in piles of their own trash and with no indication that they're capable of civilization dying in increasingly embarrassing ways,
    >then the russians invade

  55. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >Finally! Liberation.

  56. 1 month ago
    Anonymous
  57. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    An alarming amount of dead pidors.

  58. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    Laying it on waaay too thick buddy. Tone it down and maybe you'd get a good bite.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      No point in telling a BR to tone it down because he'll always double down.

  59. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >civilians with semi-auto hunting rifles can stop an organized military
    why do yanks keep huffing this copium?

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Good to know Russians are apparently immune to bullets if they're fired from a semi-auto. Have the Ukrainians been informed? Being an organized military doesn't stop your men from getting shot while out patrolling the wilderness. They're also guaranteed to be HORRIBLY outnumbered by the locals.

      Actually look at the terrain in Appalachia and think about how hard it would be to fight guerillas in that even if all they have is civ legal semi-autos and bolt actions. Then realize what you can't see in the satellite photos is thousands of caverns, many of them interconnected. It would make the worst Afghanistan has to offer look like a lovely day at the park.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      > semi-auto
      Do you REALLY think the ATF is going to care about anything if there’s a straight up invasion happening?
      Shit, at the point the government would probably be having “Build your own machine gun” and “explosives for dummies” classes.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      We already did with you guys back in the day

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      This already happened multiple times during the initial stages of the war in Ukraine and the quality of Russia's "organized military" has drastically degraded since than.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        An unarmed civilian demonstration with trash barricades across the road had delayed the fall of Kherson for several days.

        t. samegay

  60. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >itt: bubba's power fantasy

  61. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Assuming the U.S. Military gets magically deleted and all of Russia's logistical problems are taken care of by some Vodka demon they made a blood-pack with, it'd be Chechnya x 20, with an extra helping of murder-rape. That is to say, extremely poorly for the Russians.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      And given their inability to shoot down Ukrainian drones, they’d also have to contend with particularly rich bubbas dropping grenades from his clapped out Piper Cub.

  62. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Are they even allowed to do something like that?

  63. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Only been to the smokey mountains in Tennessee once as a kid (absolutely beautiful part of the country)
    I could imagine a few things
    Fpv drones guided by coon hounds charged with treeing mobiks,
    Psychological warfare by a guy dressed like pic related, just out of vision in the mist who occasionally plays a sting from a jaw harp or a banjo and takes shots at squads with a black powder rifle only to disappear in the dense vegetation, men covered in coal dust as camouflage in pitch black mine tunnels waiting for an ambush, and moonshine left around that's all heads and they get poisoned

  64. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous
  65. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Are they trying to score meth and moonshine, because otherwise it's a huge waste of time

  66. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    The Russians will be that Kindergartener that gets bullied by the 6th grader with an alcoholic single dad.

  67. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I feel like answering this question seriously would require us to make up so many excuses for how the Russian military would even get to Appalachia that we'd ultimately be talking about some fantasy version of Russia, not the real thing. The correct answer is that any Russian invasion force would be destroyed 50 km away from its starting point (half way across the globe from the US).

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >how the Russian military would even get to Appalachia
      400.000 freshly trained and abhorrently badly equipped mobiks, dozens of 1950s tanks, dilapidated aircraft and hundreds of golf carts and rusty kamaz trucks are ready to storm ukrainian trenches this autumn when suddenly a mischievous allied player chronoshifts the entire force into the middle of appalachia instead

  68. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    West Virginia is probably the most defensible terrain for light infantry in the whole country. There is exactly one (1) piece of level ground large enough to put an airport on that can handle any kind of cargo aircraft or fast mover. The entire N/S transit route can be cut by multiple single point of failure bridges or dams, and I really doubt you're going to be able to traverse the New River Gorge with any kind of armor if the bridge is out. Airborne assault is going to be like mixing the worst parts of Vietnam and Afghanistan-- there is significant relief between the ridges and valleys, so you have to come into gun and Manpad engagement range, but unlike in AFG it has the densest most biodiverse forests in the entire United States so all the ridgelines are very heavily forested and you won't see the missile teams till you're autorotating and on fire. Aside from the natural cave networks, which are extensive, it is also the most extensively mined area in the country. Go on the West Virginia Geologic Survey site and you can download free maps showing where *they think* most of the mines are. The entire fricking place has like a 9 level skaven undercity beneath it and you could traverse the majority of the state without seeing daylight if you dewatered the mines. In the past, WV mountaineers were pretty renowned fighters but they are pretty much completely broken by substance abuse etc now so I'm thinking about if you had regular army and ODA type people there. Like, it would be very difficult for the USA to take WV in a mirror match situation. It's just brutal terrain with every imaginable advantage stacked in favor of the defender.

  69. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    one thing America has that i don't think Russia really does is a shitload more variety in wildlife. They have a decent wolf population and even bears and T I G E R S but those live in the middle of nowhere and the average Russian, even the mongoloids from the far east don't really bump into them as often as the average rural American anywhere in the country runs into yotes, wolves, cougars, bears and gators.

    They also don't have the same awful fricking plagues like ticks carrying typhus, lyme, rocky mountain fever, etc. They'd have to have a long list of vaccines before stepping out of any plane or ship. This is something even the US military isn't the best at handling with their troops let alone the second army in the world.

  70. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    If Russia managed to fight their way to the Appalachians, I would say America is properly fubar and they would easily make their way through it.

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