First, make sure you are truly alone.
Shave everywhere for optimal aerodynamics.
Find a deep pool of water to safely avoid hitting the bottom.
Water should be as cold as possible. There's a reason ice baths are so popular.
Eat a big meal immediately beforehand--no one likes swimming on an empty stomach!
You can swim in waist deep water, so learn there, and if you drown then you were destined to fail at life. Look into the side stroke and the elementary back stroke. Frick the crawl like in your pic, and absolutely frick the dog paddle which when this boomer was a kid was supposedly "natural". Learn the side stroke and the elementary back stroke and you can swim for hours if you have to.
>Kids go3-5 strokes before they roll back into crawl.
crawl is fine for racing or playing games. on the other hand, everyone should know some other strokes to use for long distance swimming, and for survival in freak accident situations. like the side stroke or the elementary back stroke which you can do for hours if you're fit.
There are adult swim classes. They won't judge you for not having a childhood. Swim classes usually teach floating first, specifically dead-man's float, which is face down and helps you survive for longer periods in deep water and floating on your back both serve to get you more comfortable with the water and how little you need to do to stay alive. Next is sculling or "treading water" where you are in a bicycle position vertically and alternate your legs and arms at once to stay afloat. Next is kicking then actual swimming is added. If you have access to a pool there is probably lap swim for adults in the mornings so you can get in with a minimum of people laughing at your dumb ass. But seriously just go take some fricking lessons before you kys yourself trying.
For centuries, Italian coastal communities have relied on a unique technique to enhance their long-distance swimming capabilities – plugging their noses with oily fish like sardines. This seemingly unconventional practice holds scientific backing and can significantly improve your swimming performance.
The effectiveness of this technique stems from the ability of oily fish oils to coat the nasal passages, reducing the irritation caused by salt water. This irritation can lead to discomfort, congestion, and even breathing difficulties, hindering your swimming performance. By plugging your nose with oily fish, you create a protective barrier that minimizes the impact of salt water, allowing you to breathe more freely and swim for longer periods.
Moreover, the oily fish oils provide a source of essential fatty acids, which play a crucial role in energy production and muscle recovery. These fatty acids can help fuel your swimming exertions and promote quicker muscle repair after long swims.
I was a fatass and I learned to backstroke just by realizing I could lay on the water and not sink. Being fat makes it a lot easier to learn to swim. Time to hit the kitchen.
I'm white and normal but slender, and failed the red cross swimming course for years because I'm not buoyant and couldn't do the moronic dog paddle that they said was so easy. I finally said frick you and taught myself how to swim various strokes (and still can't dog paddle). The only way I can "float" on my back is if i occasionally propel myself with my arms and legs like in your pic. I was jealous as hell of my fat mom who could lie in the water like she was on a bed.
Stop being a homosexual your whale of a mom can't move like you, swimming is watersports for people who run, how about body boarding if you have a beach, it's a floaty tied to you for when you get tired and you'll build rowing strength.
or do you just want to absorb chlorine and piss every workout?
All these people complaining about the freestyle crawl must have never even made it to the butterfly. Frick that shit. Crawl is easy, the butterfly is the one that's not even worth learning.
> How to learn to swim alone?
you don't.
it's not that you don't know what to do. it's the panic that ensues the moment you realize you don't know what to do. that will legit drown you.
Dunno if I should help you, OP. Sounds like helping you would be the same as not doing it alone.
But you can practice alone if you want. Practice doing bubbles first, learning to relax and exhale underwater to prepare for the next breath is the most important thing.
Grab from the edge of the pool, dip and exhale through your nose. Apply pressure with your ribs and make sure to get out before you run out completely. Don't interrupt or negative pressure will fill your nose.
Step two is floating. Lay supine on the water without moving. Grab from the ledge and try it. When you're comfortable, try laying prone doing bubbles.
Third step is doing flippers. Place your arms stretched in an arrow shape, jump, place yourself prone and move your feet in and out the water, go as far as comfortable.
Fourth step is the trickiest one. Place yourself prone while doing flippers, Take your elbow out of the water and reach far. While your elbow is out, rotate your head out of the water and breathe. Rotate back into water. Pull your arm all the way down and repeat. Coordinate the same movement with the other arm. You will only take breaths from one side. Reach and pull, Reach and pull. Done.
How do I get my kid (23) to learn how to RIDE A BIKE. I missed the window of opportunity (age 3-8?) and she doesn't know how to do it. The pleasure and efficiency of bike travel is lost to her. OTOH, she lives in Brooklyn, so she'd have to replace her bike quarterly as it will be stolen by ogres (no offense, Shrek). Any ideas?
First, make sure you are truly alone.
Shave everywhere for optimal aerodynamics.
Find a deep pool of water to safely avoid hitting the bottom.
Water should be as cold as possible. There's a reason ice baths are so popular.
Eat a big meal immediately beforehand--no one likes swimming on an empty stomach!
What color is your skin?
I was wondering this as well. I'm thinking black.
>How to learn to swim alone?
You can swim in waist deep water, so learn there, and if you drown then you were destined to fail at life. Look into the side stroke and the elementary back stroke. Frick the crawl like in your pic, and absolutely frick the dog paddle which when this boomer was a kid was supposedly "natural". Learn the side stroke and the elementary back stroke and you can swim for hours if you have to.
>Frick the crawl like in your pic
Never could get the hang of it, too uncoordinated to get the breathing right
So modern technique is to teach just roll and breathe while you serum instead of between strokes. Kids go3-5 strokes before they roll back into crawl.
>Kids go3-5 strokes before they roll back into crawl.
crawl is fine for racing or playing games. on the other hand, everyone should know some other strokes to use for long distance swimming, and for survival in freak accident situations. like the side stroke or the elementary back stroke which you can do for hours if you're fit.
There are adult swim classes. They won't judge you for not having a childhood. Swim classes usually teach floating first, specifically dead-man's float, which is face down and helps you survive for longer periods in deep water and floating on your back both serve to get you more comfortable with the water and how little you need to do to stay alive. Next is sculling or "treading water" where you are in a bicycle position vertically and alternate your legs and arms at once to stay afloat. Next is kicking then actual swimming is added. If you have access to a pool there is probably lap swim for adults in the mornings so you can get in with a minimum of people laughing at your dumb ass. But seriously just go take some fricking lessons before you kys yourself trying.
Move water with your arms, homie. Ezpz.
1. look around
2. if anybody's there, just wait a while and then repeat step 1.
3. if nobody's there, then proceed to learn how to swim.
For centuries, Italian coastal communities have relied on a unique technique to enhance their long-distance swimming capabilities – plugging their noses with oily fish like sardines. This seemingly unconventional practice holds scientific backing and can significantly improve your swimming performance.
The effectiveness of this technique stems from the ability of oily fish oils to coat the nasal passages, reducing the irritation caused by salt water. This irritation can lead to discomfort, congestion, and even breathing difficulties, hindering your swimming performance. By plugging your nose with oily fish, you create a protective barrier that minimizes the impact of salt water, allowing you to breathe more freely and swim for longer periods.
Moreover, the oily fish oils provide a source of essential fatty acids, which play a crucial role in energy production and muscle recovery. These fatty acids can help fuel your swimming exertions and promote quicker muscle repair after long swims.
Nice try, seller of fry.
I was a fatass and I learned to backstroke just by realizing I could lay on the water and not sink. Being fat makes it a lot easier to learn to swim. Time to hit the kitchen.
Jump into water. You either learn or wont care
the flailing and gasping is a sign of not caring. it's the same when you're raping someone.
If you're white, start doing pic related. Then try to move from one side to the other of the swimming pool using your arms and your legs.
>If you're white, start doing pic related.
I'm white and normal but slender, and failed the red cross swimming course for years because I'm not buoyant and couldn't do the moronic dog paddle that they said was so easy. I finally said frick you and taught myself how to swim various strokes (and still can't dog paddle). The only way I can "float" on my back is if i occasionally propel myself with my arms and legs like in your pic. I was jealous as hell of my fat mom who could lie in the water like she was on a bed.
Stop being a homosexual your whale of a mom can't move like you, swimming is watersports for people who run, how about body boarding if you have a beach, it's a floaty tied to you for when you get tired and you'll build rowing strength.
or do you just want to absorb chlorine and piss every workout?
All these people complaining about the freestyle crawl must have never even made it to the butterfly. Frick that shit. Crawl is easy, the butterfly is the one that's not even worth learning.
> How to learn to swim alone?
you don't.
it's not that you don't know what to do. it's the panic that ensues the moment you realize you don't know what to do. that will legit drown you.
Dunno if I should help you, OP. Sounds like helping you would be the same as not doing it alone.
But you can practice alone if you want. Practice doing bubbles first, learning to relax and exhale underwater to prepare for the next breath is the most important thing.
Grab from the edge of the pool, dip and exhale through your nose. Apply pressure with your ribs and make sure to get out before you run out completely. Don't interrupt or negative pressure will fill your nose.
Step two is floating. Lay supine on the water without moving. Grab from the ledge and try it. When you're comfortable, try laying prone doing bubbles.
Third step is doing flippers. Place your arms stretched in an arrow shape, jump, place yourself prone and move your feet in and out the water, go as far as comfortable.
Fourth step is the trickiest one. Place yourself prone while doing flippers, Take your elbow out of the water and reach far. While your elbow is out, rotate your head out of the water and breathe. Rotate back into water. Pull your arm all the way down and repeat. Coordinate the same movement with the other arm. You will only take breaths from one side. Reach and pull, Reach and pull. Done.
probably you should mention OP can do all of this in 3 feet deep water.
Get help, its not something you should do alone
How do I get my kid (23) to learn how to RIDE A BIKE. I missed the window of opportunity (age 3-8?) and she doesn't know how to do it. The pleasure and efficiency of bike travel is lost to her. OTOH, she lives in Brooklyn, so she'd have to replace her bike quarterly as it will be stolen by ogres (no offense, Shrek). Any ideas?
I could teach her to ride reallllll good, nomsayin?
learn to soon with friends first, then swimming alone is no biggie
Blacks can't swim. Their bones are too dense.