How to beat Alucard with Modern Weaponry

Alucard is bullet proof and can do magic and has over 3 million lives. How would you beat Alucard from Hellsing? He is my favorite anime anti-villain.

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  1. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Wrong board

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      anime website

  2. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    You don't, you 14 year old douchebucket.

  3. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Nuke it.

  4. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Unless your name is Saitama or Goku you probably just flat can't beat him. Best you could do is nuke the living frick out of him and hope it works or kill off all other life on earth and make him wish he died too for an eventual mindfrick victory.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      after he integrated schrödinger he cannot be killed anymore. at least not by wordly mean.
      Before that, it'd take about 3 million nukes, assuming he cannot become immaterial

  5. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    1911 in .45 ACP

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Bingo

  6. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    800mm Schwerer Gustav shell loaded with 102 pounds of Hitler's magical catboy son

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >shell loaded with 102 pounds of Hitler's magical catboy son
      sorry i will need all of the worlds strategic supply of that sent to me, and only me

  7. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Jam the nail from the true cross in his chest, pretty much killed him in the anime.

    I doubt he would die from any conventional means, he needs to be killed with with holy relics or through magic, and since magic doesn't exist probably a vial full of the Pope's spinal fluid should do.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Doesn't the current Pope worship Satan though? His bodily fluids would probably just empower Alucard.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        No. He's not a very good Pope but people really exaggerate what he's done, we've had much worse even in the recent past.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >Pope worship Satan though?
        I don't think he worships anything except his own ego.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Pride is a deadly sin and historically vainglory has been considered one as well. If he's most personified by sinful activity, then he's quite clearly more aligned with the devil than God.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        No. He's not a very good Pope but people really exaggerate what he's done, we've had much worse even in the recent past.

        >Pope worship Satan though?
        I don't think he worships anything except his own ego.

        Pride is a deadly sin and historically vainglory has been considered one as well. If he's most personified by sinful activity, then he's quite clearly more aligned with the devil than God.

        >Pope is actually good for once.
        >”WHY ISNT HE TELLING ME I CAN MURDER ALL NONCHRISTIANS! HE MUST BE SATANIC!”

        Defining your evil as “good” and then defining “evil” as “not what I believe” is the height of Pride.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Post gun with timestamp

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Post six next to Big Ben.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >good
          >ignores scripture
          >coddles enemies of Christ for PR points
          >plays wienersuck for Russia
          >still has done nothing significant about the conspiracy of abuse in the Church
          The man's loyalties lie with Marx, not God.

  8. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Be a human that doesn't give up no matter what.
    >What did she do, what did she chose?
    >Giving up kills man. When man refuses to give up, he gains the right to become something that tramples upon humanity.

  9. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Lock him in the oven for 2 years. Welcome to the industrial age.

  10. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Wait for him to sneeze and then say "Bless you"

  11. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    power of friendship

    i want integra to slap me across the face

  12. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    literally just use bait van winkle to trap him on a bote, it's that easy.

    now how to get him there...

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      forgot pic

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      The lockheed SR-71 Blackbird.
      An advanced long-range strategic reconnaissance aircraft capable of mach 3 and an altitude of 85000 FEET.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >the SR71 Blackbird

        I like how Marvel is so moronic they put the Xmen as passengers in the fuel tank area.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Anon, the SR71 is also not capable of VTOL. I think Xavier had some work done to it.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Could be interpreted as a metaphor for modern day Marvel.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        you sure seem to know a lot about it anon

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          DO YOU EVEN READ MY CHRISTMAS LIST?!

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        FEET
        Imagine the smell

        Hit him with the truck full of liquid nitrogen then lure him into the steel mill and get him to fall into the vat of molten iron.

        Kekd

        I think he must be killed in the same fashion where his energy source comes from - through the power of main character or through toon power.
        People capable of dedeating him are
        >saitama
        >goku
        >yugioh
        >the Mask
        >Wille E. Coyotte
        So the ideal plan is to challenge him to a children's card game, while someone drops an anvil on him, and the rest just smack him while he's on the ground

  13. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Garlic

  14. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    garlic bullets and M249 machine gun
    with leather strap.

  15. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Same way I beat any vampire. The dick.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      in this case the vaginer might work better.

  16. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Giant space mirror

  17. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Pic related

  18. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Brick

  19. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Hit him with the truck full of liquid nitrogen then lure him into the steel mill and get him to fall into the vat of molten iron.

  20. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Get him a new 75" TV. You'll win by forfeit.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      with netflix
      (boy that aged poorly didn't it?)

  21. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    he is a supernatural entity moron so why ask what reality could do to unreality?

    what if there was an invincible rapist in your home and you only had 10 seconds to either grab a weapon to delay the inevitable, or a bottle of lube to make it less uncomfortable for yourself?

    gay

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I'd use a FAMAS

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Clever, because after the rape you still would have your famas

  22. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Concentre and then too the bootom of the ocean

  23. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    just tell him not to go to the moon, he will go to the moon.

  24. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    put him in a concrete.
    he is immortal but his upper strnegth is pretty low.

    And to be 100% gove me a tv with netflix subscription so he will never get out.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >he is immortal but his upper strnegth is pretty low.
      Except when it needs to be for "da cool thing happen".
      He was able to catch a bullet in his teeth that was doing circles around an SR Blackbird, and punch through a magical playing card that cut a 30mm shell in half lengthwise without damage.

  25. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    He's a vampire. Just don't invite him in and wait for him to get bored and frick off to become someone else's problem.

  26. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Steal his nose

  27. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Take something well written, shred it up and compact it into a bullet, and shoot him with it.

  28. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    dupe him into sucking a gay dude's blood so he gets infected with aids

  29. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I haven't seen that anime but could he survive a direct hit from a howitzer shell?

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      The entire show is just him getting his head blown off in every fight then regenerating out of thin air with a big gay "12 year olds think this is really scary" pointy teeth smile and going "I'm da strongest" and killing the bad guy with one shot. Every single fight goes this way, even the very end of the series is him getting blown up bigger and harder than ever before and he just reappears after a timeskip.

      It's like One Punch Man for young emo boys who jerk off to Jeff the Killer fanfiction.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >It's pretty fun

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        you forgot a critical part of the story: this walking pair of breasts making silly faces and sometimes angsting about whether or not she should drink blood (she does)

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >Never has sex

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Pip eventually gets inside her though.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          TV Seras is objectively superior and also my wife

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Hot take
            TV>Ultimate

            • 3 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              TV has better writing and actually focuses on integra. Ultimate has better action.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        sounds like kino SOVL to me

        https://i.imgur.com/Zm1Zha5.png

        TV Seras is objectively superior and also my wife

        Hot take
        TV>Ultimate

        Seras getting actual character development (+ the ost) is why I consider the TV series mandatory viewing despite the OVAs being objectively better.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >sounds like kino SOVL to me
          The trash of the past gets to pretend to be "classic" just because it aged.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        The original really was a lot better than the remake

  30. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >is bullet proof
    Is he really though? I always thought his "regeneration", or not being able to die just came from him having a shit ton of lives absorbed and stored inside of him. So either kill him 3 million times, or trick him into doing that thing where he releases all of those souls to fight for him.

  31. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >Things that can kill or weaken Alucard, a non comrehensive list
    Stake, Sunlight, Decapitation, Drowning, Fire, Silver, Garlic, Holy symbols (including the ones on his gloves), Running water. Van Helsing, Alexander Anderson, and the Nazi catboy are really the only ones shown to be a real threat to him but it's implied you absolutely can use conventional weaponry on him if you have enough time and ammo. If you have unconventional weaponry, like his own weapons, he can be injured easily and Walter nearly gets the kill just from sabotaging his new gun.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      well no, he was just playing with walter.
      so long as his army is around he cannot die.
      you have to do what hellsing OG did and literally kill every single member of his army, every single life he has claimed, either by killing them in manifested form or by killing him that many times.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >Alexander Anderson
      Did he not punch straight through Anderson even after Anderson had made himself infinity times more powerful?

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        The nail didn't make Anderson that more powerful, it just gave him the power to purify the souls stored within Alucard.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          it turned him into a monster, and therefore unable to defeat alucard due to the law of the protagonist not wanting it to happen

  32. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Brick.

  33. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    isn't he a vampire or whatever? just gear up, jump in a pool of holy water, let some homosexual in a robe ask Jesus to give you a hand job or whatever and then go shoot him like any other guy. If he's bulletproof because of demon stuff, he'll just die because all your bullets have holy power or something

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      The entire series is a non stop sequence of Alucard looking like he's injured by something magic or holy and then going "nuh uh" at the end of the episode and he was actually completely immune to whatever they were doing the whole time, he was just pretending.

  34. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I've been drafting a greentext for the past half an hour in an attempt to outline my disgust for the ending of this show and I keep on starting over.

    I don't think it's possible to truly capture the loathing I have for the blatantly infantile resolution of the story, it's like the mangaka sat down after writing the penultimate chapter and had an egocentric epiphany: "Nuh-uh he's Alucard, my immortal vampire OC with a big tity side chick sorry I meant side kick he can't possibly be dead, what can I do? *lightbulb* I know!!!"

    And just like that we get a 30 year fast forward to when he comes back, nevermind that the whole story up to that point revolved around a secret Nazi organisation set on killing him AND SUCCEEDING. None of that matters because Alucard (Dracula spelled backwards, ain't that clever) is just too cool for skool.

    Two nukes were not enough, not by a long shot.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I hate Japan too, but you may be taking hellsing too seriously, it's more a parody of anime with gun autism and breasts.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Don't forget nazi catboys

  35. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    He’s very killable, it’s just hard to do with the forces the manga throws at him. He’s got hundreds or maybe thousands(?) of lives on tap, so if he had to fight an actual military for an extended period of time he’d be perma-killed eventually.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      he kills 20 and gets 20 more lives.

  36. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Capture Integra and compel her to use her command protocols to seal him in slumber. Put him in a lead coffin dripping with holy bullshit and drop it into the depths of the ocean. Or do the same except load it onto a rocket and drill into one of the gas giants' moons subterranean oceans.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      How the hell would you compel Integra to do so in the first place?

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        She's an anglo boomer, offer the chance to cripple the next generation in some way and she'll come over to your side instantly.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Probably you'd need a sufficiently credible ultimatum to make against England herself that Alucard and Seras couldn't solve by shooting it. You'd want to do it while they're away, too, or you're going to get gibbed. Even then, she might resist out of pure spite.

        The one advantage you seem to have is that Alucard seems to be absolutely under Integra's rule. At least until he assimilated Schrödinger. After that, putting him in sleep mode and trapping him in running water is no longer any guarantee. 'Everywhere and nowhere.'

  37. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >Alucard is bullet proof and can do magic and has over 3 million lives.

    Get me Himmler

  38. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    It's not modern, but it'll do.

  39. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    You can't kill him. it would likely take the collective efforts of the best of mankind to devise some sort of plan where they trap him and repeatedly kill him/hurt him into submission. If millenium and the major's ambition couldn't do it, no one can. Alucard has gotten to a point in power where nothing can stop him and he just gets more and more powerful.

    Without an Achilles heel that i know of. He may as well be god.

  40. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    He belongs to BTC (big turkish wiener)
    Find a turkish ugly bastard and he will kneel

  41. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    YOU JUST WANNA TALK ABOUT HELLSING ON /k/

  42. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >Alucard
    make him say his own name, in english

  43. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Technically, all you just need to do is kill him until he eventually dies, as his ability to avoid death is more related to his ability to make the soul of someone else he's drunk from take the mortal blow in his place (albeit he can also get around this issue via experimental occult knowledge plus being a frickoff old vampire).
    This is called the "Walter" method.

    While it is theoretically possible, it's an improbable approach as it would need an apocalyptic level of resources to achieve.

    Or you can just do the Anderson method, and so long as you're a Sterling example of a Man (including knowing the basics of killing vampires and being able to fight well), he'll face you on (roughly) equal terms, which makes it possible to best him without starting WW3.

    TL:DR either be very very cut-throat and cunning, spending lives by the thousands, or just be an absolute fricking Chad of a man that can back it up, then use whatever weapon you prefer.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      note that the method wouldn't even work anymore after he get schrödingered since he's then truly immortal. It's just dummly OP after that point. thank god the series ended

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        No, the series ends with him having to spend 20 or so years removing the vast amount of his own power and survivability by killing all the souls inside him to avoid turbo-identity death due to ingesting Schrodinger.
        He gets a suggestion of the catboy's powers, but they're not exactly consistent, are dependent on him being unobserved, and he has to give up most of his powers. He ends up more flexible, but way weaker by the end.

        https://i.imgur.com/hBwprXL.jpg

        You don’t use rifle, you use knifu

        I did some boredom math on this guy. Approximating the weights of his Bayonets (in that they can drop onto wooden floorboards, bounce, and then sink), this guy's able to generate 13620N of force with a backhand flick, throw material fast enough downrange to cause windows to blow out due to overpressure, and then overtake his own thrown projectiles.
        His physical feats actually match up incredibly well to what you might expect of a highly trained 6'8 guy who's body runs purely off hysterical strength because he can just let it regenerate after each blow or action.

        This guy could quite literally pull you in half, Raian Kure style, if he wanted to.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >Approximating the weights of his Bayonets
          I hate spacebattlers like you wouldn't believe.

  44. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    You don’t use rifle, you use knifu

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