How quickly could the average construction company break through the defenses of a typical medieval european castle? The castle is defended by medieval troops and the construction company is allowed its heavy equipment (e.g. cranes, bulldozers, excavators, etc)
hard mode: the siege must be OSHA compliant
>the construction company shows up with their heavy machinery
>the garrison manning the castle immediately surrenders out of fear from the heavy machinery
>the osha guy has a heart attack because none of his guidelines mention POW's
Like that
they had heavy machinery
this is a human powered treadmill crane
>heavy machinery
>stationary wooden crane
Were going by modern definitions here
Wow that’s cool it would probably take like 10 guys to lift, so anyway actual heavy machinery weighs like 50-100 tons
Now imagine something that could generate 1000x the power is 10x the size and is made out of metal. I don’t think they really had analogues outside of the odd giant siege machines that were built once every 40 year war.
Simple
?
>>the garrison manning the castle immediately surrenders out of fear from the heavy machinery
Not everyone is as moronic and cowardly as you are.
meant for
>Not everyone is as moronic and cowardly as you are.
Anon, did you read the OP post?
>The castle is defended by medieval troops
If you send a messenger beforehand telling them great beasts of steel that breathe thick black smoke are coming for them, they will be terrified when they see the messenger wast lying.
Besides, if that doesn't work, just weld some steel plating over the windows of a bulldozer, make yourself an earthen bridge over the moat, and drive through the front gate.
The average construction company doesn't have a bulldozer. The ones that do have work vehicles usually will only have bobcats and excavators.
Then I will up-armor an excevator, making sure to cover up/ rerout the hydraulic lines so they dont get a lucky shot and sever one.
And remembering to put on a hydraulic hammer for my breaching attempt after Ive bridged the moat.
hydraulic hammer on an excavator is a good idea tbh. Though if I was you, instead of uparmoring the excavator, I'd get a guy with a gasaxe and proper PPE to sit in cover downwind behind the excavator cutting big rocks (or concrete) with it
Basically you're going to create massive clouds of silica dust which will not only partially blind the defenders but also get in their lungs and give them all sorts of nasty long term damage if they stay up there breathing it.
>and give them all sorts of nasty long term damage if they stay up there breathing it.
My dad worked in construction all his life before ppe was a major concern, I know.
>if I was you, instead of uparmoring the excavator
If Im gonna spend a day shoveling dirt around to bridge the moat I dont want a stray arrow damaging me or my machinery
Sure, I'm just not sure it'd be worth the effort if you can find other ways to simply keep them off the walls. Besides, they could theoretically just dump a load of pitch on you and there's no uparmor that could prevent that. You'd be better of devising ways to keep them off the walls in the first place.
Fair point, but fricking up their lungs might take a while.
How far do electric or blank fired nail guns reach when you disable the safety mechanisms? I only have pneumatics.
The silica dust is more to provide cover and make it extremely difficult for them to do any work. Nailguns have a range of around 50-100 ish yards if you take the safety off but you're not going to be hitting anything the accuracy is awful and at any range other than point blank it'd probably be shrugged off by even basic armor. Honestly your best bet might be to construct an impromptu siege tower around your excavator, attach the hydraulic hammer and just use that to smash the entire wall down after you've filled in the moat.
The average construction company leases or rents what they need for a job. If the job requires a bulldozer, you get one.
The average construction company never needs a bulldozer because most construction companies specialize in stuff other than moving earth. If they need dirt moved for foundation prep then they subcontract that work to another company
>how would an average construction company besiege a caste
>they would subcontract out the job to various other specialists
very interesting. get the earth moving guys to build your own earth works. get the welders and steel working guys to make crude weapons, armor, and additional protection for the vehicles. the job would start to bloat out fairly quickly and go over budget. whoever is contracting the castle besieging job would have to pay even more. then there's the unions to deal with. do the workers get paid the entire siege or just during their shift? it's a dangerous job so are they getting overtime, double overtime, or even more. guess it's a 24 hour work site until the castle is subdued
It'd be pretty funny if for some reason it was a common thing for medieval castles needed to be besieged by construction companies (assuming the land needs to be cleared for new developments)
You'd probably have entire lines of specialty PPE armor that workers would be required to wear while on site. You could probably rent or lease specialized protected vehicles for exactly this purpose. Just imagine the discussions you'd have at the weekly safety meetings and the types of hazards you'd have to write into your daily FLHAs lmao
that's what many private security companies actually do, ie evict squatters
>t. Citygay that has never actually done construction
Company i worked for built steel buildings and did everything including grading and preparing the land. We had an excavator, several sizes of skid steers, a loader, a bulldozer, a rolling tamper, two backhoes, lull forklifts, two dump trucks, several tractors with different attachments, a couple man lifts, and a bunch of scissor lifts. And if we needed anything else we rented it. The only thing we didn't do was pour pads but we did the foundation.
>.t moronicgay who lives under a rock
I actually do work construction and this is literally never how shit is done. There is a general contractor and a SHITTON of subtrades. Companies that actually work in places where stuff needs to get done: IE: Not where the frick you live can't afford to have a ton of equipment lying around for use once in a blue moon. Almost everything on buildings is subcontracted, the main thing the general contractor is responsible for is organization, cleanup, and stuff like scissor lifts/genies/forklifts/cranes and even then sometimes those things are subcontracted. You don't work in real construction and you live in a fairy tale universe, have a nice day ruralgay
>ruralgay
Get a load of this homosexual. You need to go back.
>muh citygays
Cope and seethe, you're literally irrelevant and nobody cares how you choose to do things. I don't even live in a major city, I'm just not a complete moronic cousinfucing piss drinking moron
>I'm too much of a homosexual to live the traditional American life of not sucking wiener in Seattle: The Post
You've never had to work for anything and it shows
ah i get it, you run a shovel for a union in a city shithole and think that's how the world works. We'd sub out the pad and hvac but do everything else in house.
A pile of bodies is worse than loose dirt because a person is 70% water.
>I've just never gotten one stuck
because youve never ran one before. One good rain and a mudpit that reaches the tub and you're in shit creek. Every skid steer i've ran has tracks. When you actually do land development on a multi acre project you can get into some nasty terrain but you wouldn't know cause you operate out of a standard city block
>ah i get it, you run a shovel for a union in a city shithole and think that's how the world works.
No lmao, I'm a foreman who works on big commercial projects. I don't tell you how to frick your cousin, don't try and tell me how construction on a big jobsite works
>A pile of bodies is worse than loose dirt because a person is 70% water.
Did you read that in a science book and think it meant something? Bodies are also made of bones and ligaments and muscle. The idea that a tracked vehicle would just get stuck driving over bodies is absolutely moronic
>One good rain and a mudpit that reaches the tub and you're in shit creek
I work on actual jobsites, not rural mudpits
>I'm a bigtime foreman, that's why I know my heavy machines are invincible, unstoppable, monsters that don't require specialized site planning and separate logistic chains. It's impossible for a machine to get stuck because it has tracks!
I'm guessing underaged or daydreaming shovelpusher lol
Nah I'm new to being a foreman and the only sites I've run myself have been smaller scale but I've been working construction for 6 years now. I talked about the need for logistics with the machines earlier, you'd want to dig ditches and make earthworks to protect your refuelling station and maintenance station.
>It's impossible for a machine to get stuck
Did I say that it's impossible for machines to get stuck? No, I said that they wouldn't get stuck on bodies, because they wouldn't. There's plenty of meat and bones in bodies to grip onto. Especially because you'd probably be fighting guys in some form of armor. Don't know why you've got a bee up your ass about this but it's pretty sad.
>never had to put down mats for his excavator, never had to get a equipment through a swamp.
lol you're a joke bro. I will say, I'd bet anything with metal track and over 10 tons will be pretty immune to a pile of corpses, but a 7000lb skid steer with rubber knobbed tracks will get bogged down pretty quick. I've seen it many times.
That's what the bucket is for moron, scoop up the corpses and leave them in nice neat piles
> Bodies are also made of bones and ligaments and muscle
Ligaments and muscles have a lot of water in them.
How come you can walk on them then huh? Huh?
Because I’m jesus, b***h
post miracles
you're describing subcontractors which yeah make up the "average" in the same way that mom-and-pop stores make up the "average" business, but you're being needlessly autistic since by "construction company" OP clearly means a large independent developer or major subcontractor, and not Joe Brown's Site Janitorial Services Ltd
>There is a general contractor and a SHITTON of subtrades
and any general contractor of note would own their own plant
yes, I know there's a shitton of subtrades, but only an autistic moron would point out, say, the plumbing guys and say LOOK LOOK CONSTRUCTION COMPANIES DON'T HAVE BULLDOZERS OKAY
I'm not being needlessly autistic, you just have literally no idea what you're talking about. EVERYTHING is subcontracted. On major contracts, even the fricking subcontractors have subcontractors. I don't know if you're just making things up or if you live in fricksville: population moron where nobody does things properly but that is how things get done in civilized places.
You need entirely different equipment/skillsets for every single phase and area of construction, and if it's all in-house capacity then you have a massive amount of overhead and guys/machines just sitting around doing nothing. The company I work for does construction landscaping/hardscapes on major commercial projects and we alone have like six or seven subcontractors working for us at any given time across multiple sites. And we're one of the few companies on on any given site that actually have stuff like bobcats and excavators, because we actually move dirt. 99% of construction companies will never have an excavator, because they don't work with dirt
>fricksville: population moron where nobody does things properly
>all the other ranting about "ruralgays"
Wew, lad. The sad thing is that a lot of citygays like this guy fricking blow up whenever aspects of life outside of a city gets brought up. How the hell are we living in their heads rent free?
>call someone a moron
>proceed to spout off a moronic opinion on how construction is done that's only relevant in the backwater shithole you live in
>why am I being called a moron
Ruralgays truly do not understand that they don't matter. Nobody in the city is sitting there seething about you, we literally just forget you exist 99% of the time until you pop up to give moronic opinions because you literally live under a rock. Yeah bro, tell me how to run an airport nice one
>Nobody in the city is sitting there seething about you
You're literally doing it right now.
Who brought up who first? I was literally just describing the realities of construction and then some dipshit ruralgay started trying to correct me on how it's done.
Vast majority of construction is done in cities. However it's done in bumfrick nowhere isn't relevant, and literally nobody in this thread is seething except ruralgays who constantly keep bringing up cities and how totally not assmad they are
Post your gun or go back where you came from, gay.
>and if it's all in-house capacity then you have a massive amount of overhead and guys/machines just sitting around doing nothing
alternatively, we're big enough and good enough that we know we will have enough contracts to keep everything in use for years to come
>that is how things get done in civilized places.
oh really? how small is your place that you don't hire-purchase your plant? if you expect to be a going concern for the next 1-2 decades you absolutely will buy rather than subcon
>alternatively, we're big enough and good enough that we know we will have enough contracts to keep everything in use for years to come
I'm sure that works just fine when you're building stuff in bumfrick nowhere, but that's not how business is done in civilized places. It just isn't. Especially because the complexity of building skyscrapers and highrises as opposed to whatever prefab two foot tall shitpiles you throw up makes it impossible to "do it all yourself"
We had a crane collapse at a site recently because the crane company decided to take it down themselves instead of paying for a company that specializes in taking them. With all the moving parts you need to run any single big jobsite, it's literally impossible to be so ahead of the ball that you're always keeping everything/everyone busy if you do everything in house.
>It just isn't OKAY
>We had a crane collapse at a site recently because the crane company decided to take it down themselves instead of paying for a company that specializes in taking them
sounds like your boys are an especial kind of moron
fits what I see here anyway
>construction company MUST include the likes of Joe Bob's Janitorial Services
do us all a favor and take running jump off a tower crane
>sounds like your boys are an especial kind of moron
Damn your daddy must have fricked your little ass so hard he left his baby batter in your brain because you are saying some real gay ass moronic cumbrain country shit. Wasn't even my site, let alone anyone my company. They were a father son company who lived out in the country and that's exactly the kind of moronic mindset that made them think they could take down their own crane while wearing flip flops. Now kiddies are dead and dad is in jail. Don't go full country moron, folks.
>They were a father son company who lived out in the country
I mean, you're the poorgays who are subcontracting to such people, and you say I'M the one from the country?
>I wonder if this is how George Soros feels like when people show off their state of the art home trading desk
What part of
>not my site, not my company
do you not understand? Did they only teach you enough english at school to allow you to ask your cousin if she's down to frick?
>LOOK IT JUST IS OKAY
>here's an example to prove my point!
>no wait it's not actually applicable
>YOU'RE the stupid one!!
The average construction company has an office and connections and offloads the real job like that to subcontractors for 1/4 of teh contract price
Like I said, you're moronic and cowardly. This is not the normal state of man and wouldn't have been then either.
If you're just going to outright ignore the alternative I provided, why dont you post your solution homosexual.
The defenders can just ride out and kill them.
>If you send a messenger beforehand telling them great beasts of steel that breathe thick black smoke are coming for them, they will be terrified
Not once has this ever actually happened, professional soldiers being terrified of "muh technology".
Good luck fighting someone in an excavator or bobcat while on foot. Hell, even armored knights would get fricked up if they got close. Provided the company has stuff all with enclosed cabins, the windows are made of plexiglass and are going to be pretty hard to get through with any sort of bow. Gas is the only limiting factor here- but you can turn these machines on/off really fast. You could just sit there then turn it on when they get close. And unless the force is mostly cavalry, a guy in a bobcat could run you down and decimate your entire force in a few minutes.
Black person they would chew through that metal grating and lexon inside of a minute, to say nothing of the tires.
>while you're in full armor.
People do gymnastics in "full armor", outsider.
Post your gun or go back where you came from.
>People do gymnastics in "full armor"
This has got to be the most counterjerk shit I've seen on /k/
Here's how it goes
Mainstream narratives
>Armor is so heavy you can barely move in it
/k/ counternarrative
>Armor doesn't affect ability to move at all! You can move just as well in armor as outside of it! It doesn't slow you down or limit your physical movement at all!
Again, good luck trying onto an excavator where the driver is actively trying to kill you even WITHOUT armor. What if the guy just starts spinning around in circles while trying to bean you with the arm? You manage to get up near the door, what he if jams the arm into the ground and pushes, lifting the whole thing up at a 45 degree angle?
It's going to be almost impossible to do even without armor on
It may be that you can keep them off you at first but that isn't the end of it. They can attack while you're busy with the wall. Or use fire.
They could, but you're assuming that the entire construction company is going to be busy with the wall, when all you need is one guy chilling in a bobcat to ward off hundreds, even thousands of soldiers. The biggest weakness would be the logistics hub of the construction company- they'd want to use their machinery to make a quick and dirty fort with earthen ramparts to store fuel and other supplies in.
The best active defense the castle could use would be pouring pitch down on the defenders- "using fire" is moronic movie shit unless these guys have greek fire from the byzantines for some reason.
Pitch is a good idea, but it's probably only foul up the excavator a bit and need to be cleaned off. During that time period the company would be at it's most vulnerable. However, after that the company would likely construct a wooden siege tower like structure around their excavator, protecting it from any further attack. At that point, the defenders of the castle are screwed.
A bobcat isn't keeping an army at bay. A castle garrison would be quite small, but still they can shoot and pelt it, any terrain that would make it slow would be fatal, they can attack at night, etc. Pit traps with flammable material were used in ancient and medieval sieges to defeat engines. Give the construction crew handguns and then they win.
A bobcat with a fully enclosed cabin absolutely would keep an entire army at bay lmao. You could run that thing through an entire crowd of people and it'd keep chugging. What do you think swords and arrows would do to a steel bucket or plexiglass window? Nothing. Hell, an average 4x4 truck could take out a decent chunk of a medieval army. Biggest danger would be damage to the tires.
They also have headlights to keep working at night, and it would take a long time to set up those pit traps- they'd almost certainly get noticed.
naw, that plexiglass window is gonna go my dude. those dudes were pretty strong back then
the windows on these vehicles are generally designed to withstand flying rocks/debris so I really don't think a guy with a sword is getting through
okay those are pretty thick windows. a guy with a sword might not make it through, but the horse with a pointy stick might.
provided the operator simply sits still and lets the knight on horseback with the lance charge him instead of defending himself, sure. Your lance sure as hell isn't going to get through the bucket of a bobcat
>provided the operator simply sits still and lets the knight on horseback with the lance charge him instead of defending himself, sure.
No, not "provided" that at all. A horse, much less a team of horses, can out maneuver Juan in a bobcat.
Outmaneuver him how? What are you going to do, stab him in his steel shove? Maybe stab his fricking treads with your lance? Literally all the bobcat operator has to do to make himself invincible is spin around in circles. And a tank of diesel is going to last a lot longer than the stamina of a horse. Not to mention, the bobcat can literally just dig a fricking trench that your stupid fricking horses will break their ankles in if they try to cross it.
The window might be sturdy but the doorfrae isn't, just jam a sturdy stick in it and leverage yourself, what is the driver going to do? Rotate you at a speed marginally slower than when you make a U-Turn on a car? If you want to sit inside a vehicle while medieval peasants try to break in and fail pick a tank, everything else rely on either the driver getting the frick out of the way or an alarm blaring and waking up all the neighborhood.
6 dudes with pointy warhammers probably would if given like, 2 hours.
Well, you're a homosexual and a moron. If you'd ever used a hand tool in your life besides your shriveled wiener you'd know there's a galaxy of difference between the impact forces of a falling stone and a steel implement designed to concentrate force.
Did I say falling, moronic Black person? No, I say FLYING
if you'd done anything in your entire life except suck off your mother's withered micropenis then you'd know that whenever you're digging or lifting or breaking something with a machine, the forces involved mean that sometimes objects like rocks or rebar will snap off and shoot out at high speeds.
I'm sorry, you are not going to get through that glass with a sword or an arrow. Swords are cutting weapons, arrows are piercing weapons and they simply don't have enough force to get through plexiglass. You'd need to smash the window repeatedly with a warhammer, while the operator and all his friends are trying to kill you.
The company could literally also just get a fricking better level of protection for their excavator, and now you're never ever ever going to get through no matter how hard you try.
>Did I say falling, moronic Black person? No, I say FLYING
Distinction without a difference, Black person. What a pathetic screeching semantic (probably semitic) appeal. Unless you're going to pull velocity calculations out of your butthole, and we all know you're not.
>I'm sorry, you are not going to get through that glass with a sword or an arrow.
>HURR HURR all dat eckist in dah past is sword an arrow
Post gun, NOW, gay.
No I’m no expert but I’m pretty sure rocks being propelled by the force of an explosion would have a greater impact than dropping it off of somewhere high.
Also, what exactly are they gonna use that *will* pen the glass? A crossbow?
Flying objects are different from falling objects you moron, a falling rock would hit the top of an excavator not the windshield
>>HURR HURR all dat eckist in dah past is sword an arrow
If you want to talk about a castle that's got canons defending it then that's an entirely different proposition
>canons
The only way I could imagine taking something like that on would be with heavy demolition equipment at night. I'd have standalone spotlights aimed at the castle with the individual equipment's lights turned off, but I doubt that's OSHA compliant anymore.
Honestly the easiest way to take care of it would be some sort of pipe bombs rigged up to a quad copter. Drop one on them when they're trying to load the canon, and repeat until they're no longer trying to load it
Speaking of velocity calculations, were you going to substantiate your whinging or nah? You sound like a gay either way but I’d appreciate if you backed it up
You can get a skid steer stuck in loose dirt, a pile of bodies will mobility kill it unless you are removing them as you go. You've obviously never operated one
>You can get a skid steer stuck in loose dirt, a pile of bodies will mobility kill it
A pile of bodies is not loose dirt, and your skid steer should not be getting stuck in loose dirt if you have the tracked variant
>You've obviously never operated one
No, I've just never gotten one stuck because I'm not a moron, and because I work for a real company we always have the ones with tracks. Fricking moronic shit Black person
What if the driver, with zero combat experience, much less combat driving experience, has realistic reactions and reaction times?
You know people have managed to board thrashing, panicking elephants, right?
How the frick are medieval soldiers who have never even seen plastic in their lives going to know how to open the door of an excavator lmfao
They might have seen door handles before.
This is correct, the only people saying that people would climb on haven’t actually fricked around with these machines. These machines can move fast and are way more agile than what you see on a normal site especially if you get someone who has experience operating that particular piece of equipment.
Yeah, it's pretty funny that these guys are playing all tough calling me a "citygay" talking about a machine they've never actually seen or worked near in their lives.
I don't like close to any heavy machinery while it's operating, even if the operator knows exactly where I am. Let alone trying to climb onto/get into one while the operator is trying to kill you lmao
That really got you upset Pedro.
Sure did, Cletus
The funniest thing is even if they did manage to somehow get on, they’d be completely boned if the guy inside locked the door. Kwwpk
The year is 1299 and the most complex machinery you've ever seen in your life is made of stone. A bulldozer shows up one day like a fricking alien spaceship and plows through the walls of your Lord's keep.
That'll frick your day up.
All that said though, if fear doesn't work the construction company is fricked. Sure they can knock walls down, but don't have much in the way of antipersonnel capabilities with construction equipment. They guzzle gas and once that's gone you have a bunch of dicks-in-a-box who will be ripped apart by angry, scared medieval peasants.
Most soldiers would just think that the enemy has a new kind of siege weapon and look for weaknesses from there. Not everything was spoopy witchcraft, people weren't stupid.
I don't know, imagine some fricking UFO beyond our comprehension showing tomorrow up and leisurely picking apart our defenses while shrugging off direct hits from our weapons. You're not going to just think "AHAH, it's just some regular dude from 700 years in the future with advanced construction equipment!"
>You're not going to just think "AHAH, it's just some regular dude from 700 years in the future with advanced construction equipment!"
jokes on you, I know a Vogon Construction Fleet when i see one
What's the weakness then?
Witty Starfleet captains.
>Soldiers who know what metal is
>See a wagon made of metal
>I-I-IMPOSSIBURU AAAAIIIEEEEEEE
This is your brain on science fiction.
>A bulldozer shows up one day like a fricking alien spaceship
Two months ago world governments started claiming to have encountered aliens and no one gave a shit.
That's because Grusch is a grifter and AARO are secretive c**ts who won't share a single shred of evidence of their claims.
Anyone who believes anything they read like this in the current day is a gullible moron
The year is 1999 and the most complex machiinery you've ever seen in youre life is made of steel, aluminum, glass, polymers, silicon, and some other stuff. An alien spaceship shows up one day like a fricking alien spaceship and plows through the walls of your sergeant's barracks.
That'll frick your day up.
All that said though, if fear doesn't work the alien construction company is fricked. Sure they can knock the barracks down, but don't have much in the way of antihuman capabilities with alien equipment. They guzzle tritium and once that's gone you have a bunch of little green men in a box who will be ripped apart by angry, scared sergeants
Not sure if arrows would get through the windshield of a backhoe, which would probably be your best bet. Assuming we're not talking a specialized demolition company with wrecking balls and stuff.
If the backhoe could get it's arm over the walls to pull stones it probably wouldn't be too hard, but othewise things could get very dicy- most bobcats don't have any protect on the front and you'd probably be best off making some sort of earthen ramp over the walls with your machines. Bobcat would work best for that, but the driver would be vulnerable so I'd suggest buying him some plate armor.
A rock dropped from the top of the wall could probably frick up a windshield with a good throw. Probably wouldn't damage the frame though.
Windshields on most construction vehicles are straight up/down so I wouldn't worry about stones. Most also have fully enclosed cabs with air conditioning. Throwing tar/pitch could ruin someone's day though. Even if it didn't get into the air/ventilation system, you'd have to pull back and clean it off the windshield
and you'd have to send a crew out to clean up the ground all of that stuff got spilt on to keep the osha man happy.
>hard mode: the siege must be OSHA compliant
Fricking kek! I love this.
if it has a mote they cant just batter at it
maybe they could undermine it with a tunnel boring machine
however being fired on with longbows, crossbows, and muskets probably dont meet OSHA standards so the Union would call a stop work
After watching from the walls long enough realize they’re dealing with regular guys, just with vehicles they don’t understand, they’d sally out and kill the shit out of em.
these
The mental imagery of a knight lancing the cab of a backhoe is quite the site.
>A bunch of tards who can’t even penetrate my excavator run at me
>put the pedal to the metal
>it’s liveleak time
Shitskin detected
that is one cozy castle
I think the biggest threat would be that the construction company doesn't have much defense against a sortie by the defenders.
A guy in an excavator/bobcat or honestly any kind of vehicle would absolutely wreck any medieval army, provided the driver is protected from projectiles
They'd just climb up the side and stab him, moron.
Excavators have completely closed cabins, and you can get bobcats fully enclosed as well. Also, good luck climbing onto an excavator which is moving around in circles trying to kill you, while you're in full armor.
And then double good luck getting a medieval soldier/peasant to figure out how open the door handle/latch to stab the guy
throw pitch at it and set it on fire. Now the driver can either burn to death or come out and get stabbed to death.
That doesn't sound very OSHA compliant
Construction vehicles are slow as frick. There's nothing stopping the defenders from avoiding them and murdering most of the construction personnel.
>Construction vehicles are slow as frick.
Lmao no they're not. Skidsteers can easily do 10-12 mph and even a tracked excavator will get you to at least 6, and they don't get tired. You're absolutely not going to be outrunning a skidsteer while wearing any sort of armor/carrying a weapon, and you'd better hope you don't trip or slow down while getting chased by an excavator.
>There's nothing stopping the defenders from avoiding them and murdering most of the construction personnel.
Even providing you do have a mobile light cavalry force, this is basically a hazardous demolition job on an occupied building. Demolition crews don't just have random workers standing around the building waiting for it to fall down, machines do all the work. There's no need to have a crew of guys standing around.
>There's no need to have a crew of guys standing around.
Literally required in order for a siege.
Lmao no? Literally just cover the entry points to the castle with dirt. How are they gonna get out, ladders? Lmao
Sally ports exist.
>covers your sally point in dirt
what now?
You're already paying them, and they're already on site. Put them to work. Sappers need help, moat needs draining, camp needs fortification, forage needs to be gathered, baggage trains need escort, preacher wants a chapel, etc.
Idle hands do the devil's work, it would be unchristian to not help them to salvation.
getaloadofthisguy.exe
I'd like to speak with my union rep.
Assuming they only defend
>crane to yeet heavy shit at the castle
Fricking hated working in construction bros don't ever do that shit
Just ram them
That's not construction equipment
OP said heavy equipment not construction equipment. Bulldozers and excavators are specifically mentioned, both are exclusively destructive.
I have a plan
Maybe you should actually visit some real castles.
A reinforced wall meters thick and tens of meters high will take lots of time to demolish even with machinery.
And if someone starts pouring hot oil on your bulldozer or firing cannon at it it all pretty soon ends
How the FRICK do I get past the moat's Receiving Waters without disobeying the Specs and SWPPP? NPDES forgive me, I have to go all out fill, just this once.
Oh shit. Top kek.
Double hard mode: observating EPA regs.
>Has the report come back to the consultants from the environmentel lab about the waste profile for the material removed from the site?
Honestly the most interesting and fun hypothetical I have seen on this board in years, good job Op
The construction company would absolutely be able to breach the walls, especially if they are allowed to improvise with welding and fuel is not a concern.
They would not be able to kill the defending troops though, so they couldn't actually take the castle.
>They would not be able to kill the defending troops though
I'm decent on the excavator and how many I kill really depends how they react, if those noble warriors hold the walls long enough for me to collpase the stairwells either side of them I just pull the top of the wall off with them on it and then bury then with the rest of the wall.
If they try and hold the keep I do the same.
If they start running around / away I don't get any.
I guess the defenders would sally out and attack the crew/machines. Irl siege engines needed a lot of men to protect them.
>muh alien technology incomprehensible to medieval rock bashing cavemen
Not even gonna (you), are you the same swarthoid shitting up the other castle thread that everyone below a high noble wore shit color clothes because medieval people couldn't comprehend cheap dyes.
How heavy are we talking?
Construction companies have explosives for big annoying rocks. I'd say they'd just tunnel underneath and blast apart the wall with lots of explosives underneath. Wa la.
I was wondering why the frick nobody mentioned this earlier. Kilos upon kilos of funny boom boom sausage
>front end loader with 5 tons of HE in the bucket
>drive up to the moat and use the reach to dump it on the other side
>retreat with a spool of shocktube feeding out as you do so
Yeah, while not many construction companies carry HE that is the fastest option and anyone that survives can be finished off with a sledge hammer.
Do they offer a blemished discount?
I reckon the construction crew could have some fun with their diesel and acetylene.
Do you want the 10 ton excavator there today or can your seige last 2 days for the 40 ton?
The 10 ton will take a day to breach that wall in 1 spot or the 40 ton can half of that wall in the moat and even formed into a crossing in the same time?
We also offer 40 ton single breach, that's still a $500 callout because I have to bring the big truck but it'll be done within the hour.
>siege for two days for the 40 ton
You're going to pay for two days of labor while my guys sit doing frick nothing? If we wanted to wait that long we'd just take the wall down with hand tools and the bobcat. The laborers show up at 7:30 and we need you here no later than 8:30. The 10 ton is fine, just get out here. If I wanted to frick around with deadtime, we would have contracted with local 150 again.
>The average construction company doesn't have a bulldozer
You know there are more types of construction than some residential contractor? Road construction and municipal contractors have plenty of machines.
>arrows would get through the windshield of a backhoe
Cat sells a package. picrel.
>You know there are more types of construction than some residential contractor? Road construction and municipal contractors have plenty of machines.
Those aren't the average construction company.
Yeah they are, you just don't have any experience seeing that kind of work, so it doesn't exist in your brain. You're trying to take down two separate 4 story stone walls protected by a moat and then breach the keep. You're going to contract that bobby joe who built your garage last year? There's not going to be shortage of companies submitting bid packets to the engineer's office.
They're literally not. Statistically the "average" construction company is some variety of carpenter/concrete/drywall. The type of ground prep you need machines for is actually a small percentage of the work required for construction and is generally only needed when you're doing landscaping/hardscapes or during initial prep for foundations. Companies who specialize in making roads are far from being the average construction company, on the contrary they're generally insanely specialized.
If OP is thinking of this like a contract he wants companies to bid on rather than just a bunch of joe schmoe randoms being isekai'd in to take on a castle, then you wouldn't even get construction companies to bid on it, you'd get demolition crews. Wrecking ball comes in, takes care of business and that's that.
>Statistically
What statistic? Municipal and commercial construction are larger than the residential sector.
>demolition crews
Thank you for agreeing that this kind of work wouldn't go to the small time contractor who doesn't have access to large equipment You babbling about the drywall guy is totally irrelevant in this context. Anyone interested in this kind of work isn't going to be the guy who doesn't even own a bobcat.
>Municipal and commercial construction are larger than the residential sector.
I work in commercial construction, and on any given site with 20+ subtrades there's generally maybe two that have heavy machinery. Commercial/residential construction is the majority of construction, and companies that do roads are by definition not the average company because they're highly specialized
>You babbling about the drywall guy is totally irrelevant in this context
It isn't because OP's question was regarding the average construction company, with the implication that they have to do this with whatever tools they have on hand. If all of a sudden you're bidding this out and you can get whatever you need, the first thing you're going to do is hire a bunch of guys with guns to kill the castle's residents before you proceed with anything else
That guys a dumbass, don't waste your time. Some ASCE send out I was reading last week had the breakdown and the residential sector is larger than public and commercial combined.
Sure.
>Statistically the "average" construction company is some variety of carpenter/concrete/drywall
>OP's question was regarding the average construction company
see again:
>you're being needlessly autistic since by "construction company" OP clearly means a large independent developer or major subcontractor, and not Joe Brown's Site Janitorial Services Ltd
idiot
>with local 150 again.
Did you pull that one out of thin air or are you a fellow IlliBlack person who has had the displeasure of working with those worthless fricks?
>contractor fires his excavator because he no-called-no-showed one day, basically shutting the job down, and showed up drunk the next
>150 contract says he has to leave the machine down for 24-48 hours since contractor fired the guy "without cause" since he didn't get breathalyzed
>dragging ass on sending another guy
>only gets solved when the public works director calls a village trustee, who "knows a guy"
>we get a new operator in 25 minutes
You get screwballs everywhere, but 150 makes dealing with them absolute cancer. Would still rather deal with 150, the non-union guys around here just aren't as good. That's mostly because the companies that can't afford 150 are all fly by night morons that refuse to pay for anyone not shit. I only do municipal nowadays.
I have issues with the entire IUOE because I'm IBEW and they constantly piss and moan about how our operators are taking "their work", which none of them are qualified to do, because they can't do shit within 20ft of anything energized. Local 150 is just the one I deal with that is the biggest group of whiners while also being the most incompetent. Last job their crews knocked out 3 light masts, broke several ground cables, then decided to cut a bundle of wire that was in their way without consulting anyone.
Why go to all the trouble of armoring the hydraulic lines when not all the lines are armored?
How are the radiators under those grills going to function with over 9,000 holes in them from spall? Shoot the windows until they're covered with spiderwebs and can no longer be seen through. That thing is vulnerable all over the place to small weapons fire let alone HMGs or RPGs.
Reddit tier take:
>Throw feces over the walls
>cough on of the sentries
They will all die from disease and you can just walk in lol
>you die of plague instead
>they barely notice while drinking poop water and getting bitten by hundreds of malaria flies daily
Reminder that medieval German emperors could only campaign in Italy in winter since once summer came all Germans in Italy started dying of malaria. Barbarossa assembled the largest army in medieval history to march on Italy and then they all died due to disease in a few weeks lol
How much time do I have? Set up one of these babies and just drop pallets of flaming bricks or something on them while listening to the screams from the comfort of my skybox.
Are the defenders allowed to sally forth?
if so, they might have a chance at beating the construction company during a union-mandated break.
>Capture a peasant
>besiege the settlement
>ask for an audience with the lord of the castle
>show said lord and his company on the walls what happens when you introduce a gasoline powered asphalt saw to a human
>after that gruesome demonstration i show them the excavator with the same attachment
>tell them that they need to surrender or this will thing will eat them one by one
Im not being edgy im just certain that the sight of such thing and the sound that the machines make will make them so scared that they will surrender their castle without a fight.
of course. Medieval people had never seen anyone die in a grisly manner, had they?
That'd just make them think you're an absolute fricking monster and fight harder. Maybe they'll actually manage to yeet crossbow bolts into the cabin of your construction equipment.
Didn't medieval people do worse to each other every day, though?
>New game coming soon.
the defenders with spears and swords would just over-run the construction workers
OSH would require you to clear the area of all personnel and disable any machinery before operating in the area.
That'll be a long siege.
I think they could undermine the foundations of the castle pretty quickly without attacking the walls directly
One of those Israeli d9 cats could probably single-handedly destroy the fortifications of any medieval castle on earth in minutes, and survive unscathed
>hard mode: the siege must be OSHA compliant
... Sooooo everyone there has to be wearing steel-toed boots?
>erect one of those
>turn it over the walls
>keep dropping stones and arrows on the defenders until they give up and abandon the wall
This is how most siege towers were used, BTW.
The assumption with this post is that your construction company is defended by a besieging army so it’s not like the defenders would be able to sally forth freely. In this case you could either use bridge equipment or just push dirt to make a land bridge and then just use a heavy vehicle to drill through a wall or just keep pushing land to make ramps to reach the wall.
Assuming they are alone and the property goal is to compromise the defences? It is unlikely a defending army would immediately sally to meet the besiegers. In this case using cement mixers you seal up all exits of the fortification and then drill through the wall and frick off to the next project.
Otherwise there is nothing you can do to prevent the defenders from just marching out and stabbing your dudes to death and that’s absolutely not OSHA compliant
better example, pic related calais late 1400s.
entire plain in front of the city could be flooded at will, and was a marsh otherwise.
It depends what the goal line for success is. Are we just talking making it through the moat and both walls to gain access to the courtyard or are you talking actually eliminating the entire defending force?
The former could be done pretty quickly, especially given the element of surprise. There isn't that much material in a bulldozer wide hole in the walls to remove and a land bridge through the moat would only take a few passes with a full size dozer. Given they'd be motivated to take risks to get through quickly as they'd be under attack, I'd bet it could be done in less than half a day.
The latter would be impossible to say as the defenders could move from one fortification to the next forcing the construction team to demolish everything to eliminate any place to hide. Thats a significantly higher amount of material to move than just poking a hole or two in the defensive line.
Why do you act like castles don't have defenses/machinery? A ballista could pick off a single soldier at a 400m distance and you think it wouldn't penetrate an excavator?
How the frick do you aim that thing accurately.
With practice
If I had an excavator, skid steer and dump truck I could do it in a day maybe a week at most
>bridge the moat with the excavator
>start ripping chunks out of the wall
>use chunks to widen bridge so more machinery can get in and speed up the process
So with that all in mind, the average construction company would take 6-12 months and go overbudget twice.
A simple task. I build a wall around their wall. I build a wall to protect my workers from their projectiles, to build another wall. And when they are surrounded i simply wait with a paper with the terms of surrender.
It worked for Ceasar, it'll work for me. And i'm not even kidding. Prefabricated concrete segments to make it quicker, a wall in the style of the israeli wall at the palestinian border.
To add to that, i will protect my workers with a excavator that has a chainsaw taped to its long articulated arm.
Real 1632 hours
Rip Eric Flint
Its all fun and games until the machinery is on fire.
>Day 1-2
Construct earthen ramparts for camp
>Day 3-4
Fill in moat, and make sure for access for heavy excavator or wrecking ball
>Day 5-6
Breach curtain wall and create proper clearing for vehicular access to outer bailey
>Day 7
Breach inner wall and create proper clearing for vehicular access to keep
>Day 8
Demolish keep and negotiate surrender of castle/further demolition where needed
>Evening Day 7 & Day 9
Pillaging/wenching/misc admin and site tidy up
Of course, it's all size dependent, and the garrison could sally out at any point, day or night, and murder all of the contractors.
>hard mode: the siege must be OSHA compliant
Can't be done, not with all the hostile projectiles and the high chance of being murdered.
this would only work in the early 1300s, by the 1400s you'd never be able to directly approach a castle like that without being murdered by artillery (pre-HE) and most of it would be indirect fire so you'd have no recourse against it without building your own barbicans to allow approach.
Are we talking American or Chinese construction companies?
The Chinese would probably get it done a lot quicker for a variety of reasons
>1 jade token has been deposited into your account.
For the construction/demo company or the castle builders?
Who would win
>a single knight on foot, in full gear
or
>30 anons on pervitin, with chainsaws duck taped to the back of their heads, top-facing
?
The meth heads win, it’s a 30v1 ffs
they'd die in droves first, since they don't have efficient way of killing or even wounding while the knight has a sword or w/e
This is /k/. It depends on how cute the knight is.
Killdozer always wins
>How quickly could the average construction company break through the defenses of a typical medieval european castle?
Well if we go off of my company
>every non-felon shows up with a rifle
>felons show up with two
>pick off any resistance on the walls from well beyond bow range
So far so good. Thing is I've never seen a medieval castle in person. I've been to star forts in the US, and while I imagine the walls are not nearly as thick as those, we'd have a hard time with the equipment I have access to. I see three ways in:
>breach the walls
My equipment can't do it, but we could make something. Probably not worth the effort. Same deal for undermining and other shit. We could do it, but it wouldn't be the way to go.
>go through the gate
Could easily cut our way in here. Problem is the murder holes and other bullshit. Could probably weld up some protection, drive in, and deal with things, but risky for no reason.
>Ramp
We're just gonna scale the walls and build a frickoff sized ramp up there and down the other side. Weld up some killdozer armor on some exacavators so they can do the job. Then when we get to the other side, just tear shit up until they surrender.
>the siege must be OSHA compliant
As long as you don't get caught, it's OSHA compliant. No problem here.
Weeks to months depending on how brave and ornery the workers are and how good the engineers are. The problem is that the defenders can just sallie out and smash open the cabins of construction vehicles with hammers and axes. The glass might hold up to it but the locks definitely won't. You also can't have workers running around on foot because of all the crossbows. Even if the men were brave enough there's no way that would be OSHA compliant.
The construction company would need to not only fortify their own vehicles but make movable barricades to keep the defenders away and framework to get the excavators across the moat and into the baileys so they can tear open the inner keep.
>siege ends quickly with a few machines getting destroyed with fire
>soldiers manning the fortress report back to their liege
>court architect has an orgasm as he listens to it
>local liege throws all the fortune he can muster to the construction company to enlist them
I would just dig a hole around the castle and starve them to death. No in, no out.
pretty quickly. All they have to do is try to fix the potholes on the roads leading in and out if the castle and the garrison will starve to death within the year.
It would be funny to fill the moat with quikcrete
unironically this would be their best chance of winning