How much canned goods, spaghetti, oatmeal, rice and beef jerky do I need to survive the apocalypse?
How much canned goods, spaghetti, oatmeal, rice and beef jerky do I need to survive the apocalypse?
How much canned goods, spaghetti, oatmeal, rice and beef jerky do I need to survive the apocalypse?
four
you forgot toilet paper and baby wipes
you mean dude wipes?
>odd fascination with baby yoda
true
I use waterwipes and simplywater by momandbaby or something. great for my inflamed anus!
The canned goods wont last long enough, you need seeds and fishing gear.
you can eat them several years after the Best By date.
I think he means you'll go through it too quick. Which is true. Should still get lots of cans, though. Canned stuff is a huge treat when you've been eating dry goods for a long time.
Yeah, you obviously haven't tried. You CAN eat it typically, but it looses nutrition. The best example is canned green beans. Get the French cut ones, they only have about a year's shelf life. Wait an extra three months and crack that bad boy open and prepare for the blandest cardboard tasting beans you ever ate. Dumb idiots are going to get wrecked this decade. Innawoods only boys going forward. Eat shit commies.
get a load of this dork, wanting to "survive". Deadchads where ya at?
Present!
I was going to off myself once all my friends and family died of suddenly, but it turns out my niece and nephews are not vaccinated.
>I VILL raise them
>I VILL train them
>I VILL form the most feared RWDS of the post-collapse world
>Klaus, we VILL find you
based. start taking them camping and training them up now.
>40 years later
"E... Everyone is gonna die from the vax guys, I swear it'll happen any day now!"
reporting in, I'm trying to be in the center of the blast
The apocalypse will not be like a hurricane, and then after, things will get back to normal. It will be a giant suck fest, that gets shittier more every year, year after year, for decades.
The living will envy the dead.
Frickin heaps anon, you need heaps of stuff., i can't be bothered tbh
1000 calories per person per day is kinda the minimum.
at least 60 grams of that need to be protein.
According to officials apocalypse should last about 2 weeks.
this is effectively 3 cans of banked a day, per person.
what you really want is good black bread and crunchy peanut butter
this is literally all you need when SHTF
so much protein and a good amount of dietary fibers from the black bread
one jar of peanut butter and some cans of vacuum sealed black bread will last you a month without going hungry or having to shit at all
i mean imagine having to shit and fart all the time from consuming canned beans, they will probably give you diearear, literally
you gotta be prepared
anyways dont forget to stack on bic lighters and condoms they will be like gold
>This homie's eating beans.
Buy dry. Stow them in plastic totes. Pack them as full as you can then toss in a couple of instant hand warmers on something that won't melt. Close the lid and seal the seam with duct tape. Don't forget to have a big thing of lard and some of those big jars of bouillon and some dried spices. Keep them all sealed in a dry cool place. Get a pressure cooker. It won't smell when you cook and it saves time and fuel.
imagine the smell in your bunker
>May contain basedbeans.
nty
baaasedbeans, PrepHole autotroonycorrect
>May contain $0yabeans
nty
I'm not worried about storing lots of food for the apocalypse because I know that humans are made of meat!
in that case you want to stack on a good amount of sauce and dip varieties
you are lucky because storing these is very effective in terms of squarespace used
also a lot of sauce manufacturers sell their product in bulk buckets for conveneience restaurant use
Enough to fill a standard closet. Don't overstuff though, me and the boys don't wanna take long while we're looting it.
At 2000 Cal × 365 days / 390 Cal / 15 Oz can of black beans = 1871 cans
You gonna be gassy homie
im thinking about those beans
more than you can ever buy and store.
you just end up as the last man to die.
lonely and probably with scurvey.
if you want to survive, work to avoid the apocolypse...
if you have a few weeks of food stored, you are already ahead of the curve. once most are starving, its easy to outmaneuver them
I have 20kg of fat
About 2 months of food, I have fasted for 20 days, I will hunt you down and claim your stuff, and I’ll add your face skin to my war banner
what you gays don’t realise is you are a docile slave caste, and in a collapse the warrior class will rule
what you dont realize is that you can stack food and weapons at the same time.
cope, you’ve already revealed your mindset
when the raiders come use the gun on yourself, they may not make it quick for you
you'll be shot, killed, and hung out as a warning and thats a good thing.
have you ever fasted? it’s peak mental clarity and energy? plus you need frick all sleep, I’ll be stalking you when you eat your beans, when you shit, when you sleep, a metre at a time, over days, then I’ll add your face to the banner
And throw your beans and rice in the dirt moving on to the next prepper
you'll look great strung from a lamp post swinging gentle in the breeze.
if you had the balls for that you wouldn’t be collecting beans, your face skin will decorate a banner
i will have your balls
in a famine scenario the fat people will be kings
>20kg of fat
that’s up to 1,5 years of food
((20kg*10*7000kcal)/2000)/365=1,9 years of food
some of that Aussie fat will come in handy
lol
actually it’s even more than 1,9 years because once in starving mode his metabolism will slow down so he won’t need 2000kcal/day
so fatties literally could go on for years without any food at all (they probably would need minimal amounts of proteins though as well as minerals etc. because that shit doesn’t get stored in fat cells)
If you don't eat for a month you die. No matter how fat you are. Simple as.
how come people can fast for longer than a month then?
There have been cases where they weren't *trying to survive the breakdown of society* while under medical supervision and had all their needs taken care of by others. If a morbidly obese person tries to fast their way through a year of SHTF, they're going to lose their mind then die of dehydration or violence.
>lose their mind then die of dehydration
you’ve already lost your mind despite not fasting at all.
fasting = no food, but always enough drinking
You're going to need to find clean water, anon. That takes work. Work takes calories. People in shithole countries spend hours a day hauling water.
>clean water
just distill your fricking water you stupid moron
You better supplement with magnesuim, calcium and zync then homie. Unless you eat healthy -and varied- already.
yeah, then go in a cave in lick some rocks. or go to the forest and pick some berries. voilà, there you’ve got your minerals
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1199012/#:~:text=Unfortunately%2C%20boiling%20consumes%20a%20lot,fuels%20are%20not%20always%20available.
>Walk 20km to get water
>walk to get 1kg of wood per liter
ngmi
moron, I live 1km away from a river and am surrounded by trees
Have fun drinking chemical spill water after a long day lumberjacking and trying to use fresh cut trees as fuel.
Moron I have zero problem getting firewood and why would there be chemical spills in rural Australia?
https://www.google.com/search?q=chemical+spill+rural+australia
Hint: Refineries, mines, etc are out in rural areas and shit needs to be transported.
0 results
Nice work moron
I knew Australia was an Orwellian nightmare, but this is just ridiculous.
Also this was the first resukt when I checked it a minute ago: https://thewest.com.au/news/harvey-waroona-reporter/chemical-spill-cause-probed-ng-b881834747z but now it doesn't show up.
>3000 km away
should I be worried?
Well, considering your government is hiding spills from you, yes. Because there can be a spill or chemical fire on your area and you don't even know it.
>your area
>5 hours by plane
Uh huh
it’s over for you
He's gonna be fine. Im sure he can get his 300lb ass over the fence at the voluntary concentration camp and outrun the police dogs.
https://www.bbc.com/news/world-australia-59486285
https://www.watoday.com.au/national/western-australia/urgent-call-for-drivers-to-wash-cars-after-roe-highway-chemical-spill-20221110-p5bxbb.html
Anon, you should do something about your government if they are hiding this from you.
Google where that is moron
https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2017/may/18/australian-oil-well-leaked-into-ocean-for-months-but-incident-kept-secret
This was by the coast, but it went on for months and was covered up. I think you guys might have an environmental problem.
Do you think rivers flow from the ocean inland moron?
Apparently your government is hiding environmental disasters from you already. Good luck, Anon.
>I don’t know how rivers work
>does the ocean feed them?
Lol
>walk 20km to get water
how about digging a fricking hole in your frontyard and get your fresh water from there?
estimated working time: 24 hrs. so three days. with lots of shitposting on /misc/
I can envision a fat slob trying to dig a well by hand during shtf without any food and probably not even hamd tools. Hilarious.
shtf doesn’t mean that everything built by civilisation magically disappears and you end up stranded on a primordial isle without basic shit
>shovels don’t exist
Fatty would probably outlive you on fat stores alone.
If you're a masochist you should google:
>will distillation remove
and report the 1st result
mine was vynil chloride
That too.
mfers think surviving without a FRICK ton of help is really that easy, even outside of a situation where chemicals are being spilled, violence is breaking out, etc
Fricking tards, man.
Are you moronic? A still will purify water
see
your fat isn't going to kill you and rape your corpse, either, but I listed violence. I should have also listed exposure. Fat people can't handle the weather, especially hest, and especially if they have to do something as strenuous as walking down the street. Hell, they'll be sweating like a pig, too, so there goes your water.
No they won’t, and 90% of Americans have enough fat to fast longer than a month
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Angus_Barbieri%27s_fast
>He lived on tea, coffee, sparkling water, and vitamins
>and vitamins
frequently visiting Maryfield Hospital for medical evaluation.
>medical supervision
>world record
Are you going to be trying to set a medically supervised world record during a shtf scenario?
So you're 5 male maltese dogs overweight? Sounds like you can't run from the cannibal hordes, Anon.
https://weightofstuff.com/10-common-items-that-weigh-about-40-pounds/
why would I run? I’ll be leading them, right to your gay prepped store, your autistic dog knowledge won’t help you
preppers are moronic
what do you do if your town is on fire or you have to be evacuated because of a massive hurricane
you have a refugee bag aka bug out bag?
>muh supply chain
good luck with that
about 2-3 l of water and at least 2000 kcal daily
so about 1000l and 700k kcal per year
thats caloric equivalent of 200kg of flour
have spare for trade and to account for spoilage; also diversify to get all vitamins and minerals
can you translate that ? what the frick did you just say? you expect me to survive on ketchup or some shit?
why not just buy 1 ton of rice and some vitamin pills
1 ton of rice only costs about 1000 dollars and will last you like 15 months
Where/how do you store 1 Metric frick ton of rice?
Wouldn't actually suggest a whole ton of rice but rice should be stored in buckets. If it needs to be stored over 3 years, freeze it for 3 days to kill weevil larva and store it in your bucket with a couple oxygen absorbers. You can get free pickle buckets from most restaurants for free, but make sure they're cleaned and aired out or it will make the rice taste weird. 1 bucket is about a 6 month supply for 1 person.
in 1300 one liter jars.
Nothing
Just loot the preppers
Get rice and lentils, Anon. You can buy 20 lb of rice for like $13 which is enough for about 6 months. Lentils are good because they aren't a b***h to cook like dry beans and don't get super hard and uncookable when they're old like beans do. You can cook rice and lentils in the same pot by just moxing them together and cooking like normal rice. Maybe buy lots and lots of chicken bouillon and it makes it taste okay. You can add just about anything to make just about anything.
You can put some oil in the bottom of a pan, spread out cooked rice, put a couple eggs on it, and get the rice coated in egg. Good stuff.
You can put some cooked chicken thighs and pineapple in your rice and eat it with sweet and sour sauce. Good stuff.
You can make rice pudding with milk and sugar. Good stuff.
Gravy, cheese, broccoli, carrots, peas, beef, chicken, pork. Everything goes with rice.
It will keep for about 3 years with no additional changes. To keep it over 3 years, put the rice in gallon ziplock bags and freeze it for 3 days to kill any weevil eggs, then store it in a pickle bucket you can get for free from most restaurants. Just make sure to clean and air out the bucket really well or it will make the rice taste funky. Oxygen absorbers optional. Keeps forever.
Get a cheap water filter like a double threaded Sawyer Mini off of Amazon. It's like $20.
Also buy heirloom seeds from MI Gardener when you have enough food and water to last a year.
Basically the idea isn't to live the rest of your life off of preps, but try to buy yourself time to figure out a place for yourself in the new paradigm.
I don't like lentils, they stink and taste awful. however I've found raw lentil sprouts are good, none of that nasty cooked lentil taste or digestive problems. they sprout and are ready to eat in 48 hours.
I don't know why some people hate on lentils I can *barely* even tell if they're in my rice. Just get a hint of chickeny flavor maybe, IDK. I only put them in for nutrition. Maybe dried peas instead? They're basically the same thing.
Thanks for the tip on the sprouts. I'll try that soon. I've got a whole bunch of lentils so it would be cool to have something different to do with them.
fill the bottom of a jar with lentils, cover the opening with cheese cloth & elastic band, soak them for a few hours in warm water then drain & rinse. rinse & drain every 12 hours for two days and you've got a jar full of fresh sprouts for your sandwich.
Thsnks. I used to have a roommate who would eat sorouts every day and that b***h was the healthiest person I ever knew even though she was in her 70s.
Sprouting is incredibility easy and healthy. Seeds are cheap and don't take up much room.
a big problem I've found is they irradiate all the western beans now, I had to get packs of ethnic beans from the ethnic isle. want to try chic peas, black eye peas and kidney beans but none of the bags I've got will sprout. 🙁
I know in the US by law they have to sterilize with radiation anything imported if it would be able to grow, and they do a lit of the domestic stuff, too. Fricking ridiculous.
I got red lentils from india and mung beans from china that sprout, everything else has been irradiated. this is recent too a few years back all recall all the beans I got spouted after soaking overnight. this kind of sucks not just because you can't make sprouts but also the nutritional value goes way up after the beans are activated.
Buy local beans from a farmers market.
Or get some heirloom seeds and spend the summer growing your own beans.
>I got poo lentils from india
No matter how many generations you breed those out for at least some of their genetic is going to be pajeet shit.
the options for viable seed & feed are limited these days
I haven't tried sprouting beans yet. I've been doing broccoli, alfalfa, and radish. I'd like to try more.
like 100million calories worth
6 million tons
Youll most likely just die in a nuke. Itll be painless, nothing to fear. Death is a better place.
not everyone is a city slicker
Just eat the bugs, you’ll be fine.
Picrel is $1.25 from Dollar Tree. You can buy stuff from their website, too, and absolutely should. I like this size because if I don't have a fridge I'll eat the whole thing before it can go bad outside the fridge.
And funny enough, both peanut butter and jelly go okay with rice.
First and foremost you should learn how to cook and be a functional autist. I cooked this in the time after my last post.
You need to learn to eat people.
Toxic
> eat people
You’ll be spitting out graphene.
life long supply
so two weeks then.
depends on how well armed and capable in shooting you are
Quite a lot.
Do it a week at a time.
So 1 week worth. Then 2 weeks, then 4 weeks. See what you have money and space for.
Get a vacuum packer for the dry foodstuffs. It kills vermin.
Put it in a container mice can't get into.
I'm looking into getting a vacuum sealer. Shit looks cash. If you get a roll of the bag material it's waaaaay cheaper than canning in jars. in fact, canning jars are only worth it if you reuse them, while like $50 of vaccum sealing material can probably last you a couple years.
You can get the covers for large and small mouth mason jars also and attach to most vac sealers to suck the air out of jars.
I've seen someone reuse mason jars to dry seal stuff in jars with the hose attachment on a vacuum sealer. It's something to consider, but I think I would use the brown bag in the vacuum bag method forst for stuff like that. It's lighter and less bulky.
Just get 10kg bulk bags of lentils, amaranth, and rice.
If you don't wholesalers, you're doing wrong.
you're in norway, canned food will freeze and explode.
you need dry food, like beans and wheat berries.
>metal
>explode
it simply would adapt by stretching
Fricking wheat. Shit will last indefinitely as-is and can be bought in sealed tubs. Just add a mill.
Until it pops open.
it’s water, not tnt
It's not going to demo your house, but it will ruin your food and potentially attract vermin.
nothing will happen
Does picrel look okay?
Just a little fermentation. The juice probably didn't get pasteurized properly before it went into the can. Don't expect high alcohol content. The can would have exploded long before the content reached decent alcohol levels. Open the can outside or in the shower cabin. And take off your clothes before you do it. Just in case the content is smelly. Because the can will release pressure.
>grapefruit
that actually looks tasty. i’m surprised. shouldn’t you be storing kool-aid or so?
I don't let my cans go bad. This is from online.
Cans bulge when they get air in them. Air can get in them if they freeze and expand, atressing the joints. This can is not okay to eat.
Granted, it takes a long time at well below freezing for a can of food to freeze, so most people don't have ti worry about it. But if you live by the north pole or whatever it's somrthing to consider.
You're moronic. Go put a can in the freezer.
I really ought to consider my choices when making a good pasta sauce with 85 beef
to all the dry beans and rice bros - invest in a pressure cooker. they save you loads of cooking time, use less fuel to heat and keep a lot of the smells and steam contained.
>to all the dry beans and rice bros - invest in a pressure cooker
Got a hot tip for cooking beans perfectly every time:
quick soak your beans (bring to a boil, turn off heat (you can leave them on the off burner) and let soak covered for 1 hour)
Then transfer to a steamer basket with that sink filter and pressure steam for about 14 minutes. add about 3 cups of water to the pressure cooker. This is done with a 8 quart presto 01370 and 8 quart basket. Both of these objects can be purchased on amazon.
yeah the soaking thing helps a lot. wife soaks a pan full over night then pressures them.
forgot to mention, the sink filter goes in the center of the basket, and you put it in upside down. it's so the center cooks, so everything cooks evenly.
Sometimes I like to soak the rice for a couple of days and it cooks really fast also gets some fermenting happening if left long enough.
IF the SHTF and the bullets start flying you aren't going to have time to sit and boil up your rice and beans.
I'm a human microwave. food goes in cold, comes out hot.
Just eat people
5 boxes of sketi and should be gud
Unironically, dried pasta is a top-tier prep. I prefer the rotini myself. Holds sauces better and more convenient to eat.
>survive
>apocalypse
these are mutually exclusive idiot
Just eat people. That's what I'm going to do.
dont forget iodized salt
salt is most important
and cheap
the beef jerkys at the bottle shop and the supermarket are all shit now
You can survive up to a year with just protein, a multivitamin and water if you are morbidly obese. Perhaps longer. I bet those 1000lb could last a year easy. Just get fat now.
You only need enough to survive until most of the non prepared died off. Then the world is yours.
>How much
at least five years
water is biggest issue; bulk now
For food prepping, I always go by a rule of:
1 month of food per person I expect to feed.
The average adult human needs roughly 2,000 calories a day (give or take a few hundred).
1 cup of white rice is 200 calories.
So 10 cups of rice will feed 1 adult human a day.
So you'd want 300 cups of rice to feed 1 adult human for a month.
Now, rice isnt very nutritious, its carbs and starch; great for killing hunger pains and giving energy to work and hunt.
So ideally, you wont be using 10 cups of rice a day, youd expect and plan a mix of foods to ensure a balanced diet
Bare minimum:
Stockpile rice, beans and multivitamins.
Inb4:
This is not neccessarily the ideal food storage for shtf, but it is an easy, idiot proof long term storage plan; and its easy as shit to cook.
Boil the rice and beans and add any veggies/meats you can hunt or gather or farm.
The multivitamins ensure youre not missing important vits or minerals while you either work out a more stable food source or wait for the power to come back on.
And why 30 days? Ive had some here "reee" at me over "only 30 days".
Well, do what you like, but I do 30 days, because if the power is out for longer than 30 days, you can bet Im not sticking around after, and trying to haul months worth of food is not only risky, its difficult.
But you choose your level of prep and stick to it.
eat Black folk
Not too many, lad. You don't want to become a target for raiders and mutants.
Indian here. I just take care of my mom (when she visits or I'm at home). She takes care of my food. That's the only prepping i need ^_^