Home Repair Horror Stories

>Away doing work at a festival event, gone for 2 weeks
>Wife texts that the toilet is broken
>Says it's making a lot of noise and won't flush
>Tell her to get the puke/popcorn bowl and fill it in the sink then dump it into the bowl
>She dumps it into the tank and says it's not working
>Tell her to dump it *IN THE BOWL*
>She says its not working
>I ask if she's filling the bowl all the way.
>"Like halfway."
>Ask her to get her dad to fix it
>Come home 2 weeks later and the toilet is still broken
> The fill valve is broken. Water isn't flowing at all.
>On top of this, the rod on the flush lever is metal and was so rusted it snapped off
>Get a new fill valve and lever and install it
>Toilet fills up.
>Then drains, then refills, then drains, etc.
>Realize where the noise was coming from
>Hold the flapper down and realize it's not forming a seal
>Go to the store for a flapper
>Universal flapper is the wrong size, falls right through the hole
>Go back to the store 5 minutes later
>Get the "extra large" flapper
>Replaced every part of the toilet in one day.
>Toilet is finally fixed.

What stupid bullshit have you had to put up with lately?

  1. 1 month ago

    that's not a horror story, you don't have a wife and if you did have a wife and go on some trip, i assure you there was a plumber there for the duration of the two weeks filling your wife's bowl and fixing her flapper if you know what i'm saying

    • 1 month ago

      That's cool because I was def. slutting around the event. I slept more in other peoples tents than my own.

      • 1 month ago

        your whore wife deserves better

      • 1 month ago

        I feel really bad for your wife. You sound like the kind of guy who, "never got around to," something as simple as doing his laundry or doing the dishes, then acts like a lord over her for not knowing how to do something they haven't done before like basic plumbing.
        Probably a reason why a lot of these crazy bitches have daddy issues.
        >I am projecting. I had to teach my dad how to do the laundry. I was 30, he was 60. And he forgot by the next time, but I had to know when I was a kid. I'm probably a crazy daddy-issue bitch.

        • 1 month ago

          No, you just need to be more confident. You're right- I feel bad for this guys wife too. OP Teach your wife how a toilet works, and it will reward you. You sound like you kick dogs

          • 1 month ago

            Youtube. Replaced the handle and flapper earlier on ours while my husband was plaguebound. The old flapper reminded me of those grow 100x lizard/other creature toys that you soak for days, it was waterlogged.

            • 1 month ago

              >my husband

        • 1 month ago

          Post tits.

          Also I used to know how to do my own laundry before i got married. Then my wife started doing it and making up all these asinine rules about how laundry has to be done in a precise way with certain chemical combinations like some sort of chemistry lab. Now I no longer know how to do my own laundry...

          • 1 month ago

            Have her make instructions, laminate it, and put it on the side of the washer on a suction. She might do it a specific way because of the type lf washer you have, for specific types of stains, or for certain fabric requirements.

            • 1 month ago

              Or I could just let her do the laundry and i will do the stuff that I'm better at and enjoy doing.

              • 1 month ago

                Nope, you've got to learn. If anything happens where she leaves to take care of a parent or has to be hospitalized or anything, you'll know how to take care of it.

              • 1 month ago

                I'll just go back to the way I used to do laundry. Throw clothes in washer, throw scoop of detergent in and run it. Fuck it.

          • 1 month ago

            Very relatable

          • 1 month ago

            My roommate is always asking if I have something I want to throw in a load of whites or cold wash or whatever and I feel totally lost. The only time I separate laundry is when I don't want my underwear full of fiberglass.

            • 1 month ago

              I seperate my oily work clothes from everything else. I also wash my white sheets seperate, but that's it.

              • 1 month ago

                My roommate once washed my black cumrag and his black cumrag together. Had trouble guessing from the stains alone

    • 1 month ago

      Not really home repair but related wife story. Have older house, toilets seem to need parts replacing often. Master toilet starts running sometimes but I hadn't noticed as it's intermittent.

      Wife takes a monster shit one night and clogs the toilet. Doesnt bother to pick up the plunger to unclog AND doesn't even both to tell me.

      Toilet starts running overnight, fills the clogged bowl and overflows, flooding the bath and master bedroom.

  2. 1 month ago

    I have a toilet related one from last year
    >Roommate says toilet making noise
    >Go check it out
    >Fill valve leaking from the top
    >Go to get another one
    >Get a call while I’m out
    >Roommate fucked with the full valve and now water is shooting out of it like a jet
    >Tell him to turn the water off to the toilet
    >He says hes twisting and its not working
    >Says hes twisted all the way in both directions.
    >Pick up a shut off valve
    >Get home and roommate is sitting reverse on the toilet with thumb over the valve
    >Room is covered in water
    >Says it will shoot up if he takes thumb off
    >Turn off water to the whole house
    >Replace the shut off valve
    >Replace the fill valve
    >Silver lining is realizing that since the shut off was completely rotted away it would have made a much bigger mess if I removed the fill valve first.

  3. 1 month ago

    "Horror story" would be if you flushed and shit sprayed all over you.
    Nigga you made a thread because your wife broke the handle and flapper because she flushed too many tampons?

    • 1 month ago

      >she flushed too many tampons
      Probably condoms, just not his

  4. 1 month ago

    One time our hard water softener broke. I was in the shower and felt a sandy texture on my body.
    Then I ran the outside hose and noticed the sand-like beads. Entire system had to be flushed. Every faucet had to be flushed. The laundry machine needed to be disassembled because it was full of those beads.

  5. 1 month ago

    Your "horror story" is that you made a repair?
    Or that you married someone so helpless they couldn't fix the toilet for two weeks?

  6. 1 month ago

    >puke/popcorn bowl
    White trash anons rise up!

  7. 1 month ago

    complex main drain backed up into ground floor tennets shower, scrubbed that shit snaked and scooped, had a plumber out to relay the main day three found one of the workers passed out unresponsive, all work stopped that day think the plumber took him to the hospital.

    I learned that if the job is too big for me to do I should go get an alibi while the lowest bidder gets it done.

  8. 1 month ago

    >be me
    >helping in-laws by rebuilding their bathroom
    >house built in '73
    >multiple DIY renovations by multiple owners
    >the only bathroom's shower lines are one stud away from the breaker box
    >black mold literally fucking everywhere
    >get mold sick on and off for a month
    >eight layers of vinyl flooring
    >the room isn't fucking square (95deg), or square (97.5in x 94in x 92in)
    >popcorn ceiling nowhere in the house but the bathroom
    >normal drywall everywhere but one small square in the bathroom
    >no insulation in the walls for sound proofing
    >no shutoff valves for half the water lines
    >copper pipes in crawlspace aren't insulated at all
    The list is much longer than this, but you can see the kind of shit I've been up to lately.

  9. 1 month ago

    >tub drain is broken
    >buy a neat little pop up drain to replace it with
    >try to take the old one out
    >metal cross in the center used to unscrew it shatters into dust
    >have to drive 20 miles to obtain picrel
    >put it in the drain, smack it with the hammer, put the adjustable wrench on, it pops out, i cuss
    >do this 40 times
    >im fuming
    >wife comes in and asks if i need anything
    >fantasize about caving her skull in with the hammer

  10. 1 month ago

    Boo Hoo. You had to go to the store twice. Let me give you a *REAL* horror story. This was about 30 years ago.
    >Live in a house built in the 1890s.
    >Hear dull buzzing behind the headboard in the master bedroom, which shares a wall with the upstairs hallway.
    >Try to figure out whats causing the sound
    >Wiring is totally fucked, literally 90 years of people tinkering with it.
    >Completely cut power to the house and still hear the buzzing
    >And that's when I noticed honey leaking from the baseboards.
    >Call up my dad who is a hobbyist beekeeper
    >He comes over with a bunch of 5 gallon buckets
    >Without saying anything, he smacks the claw hammer into the wall and starts ripping it out, revealing floor-to-ceiling rows of honeycomb.
    >Bees are swarming around him
    >He doesn't have a suit on or anything.
    >Bees all over the fucking master bedroom.
    >He starts sawing off the big chunks of honeycomb
    >Pulling piles of bees out of the fucking walls with his bare hands and putting them in the buckets
    >He captures the queen and continues the work
    >Clears all the bees, puts the bucket in his truck, and then leaves to go set them up
    >Leaves me to clean up the sticky shit and the drywall

    I wanted to fucking die and moved shortly after.
    >Pic related, but not mine.

  11. 1 month ago

    My toilet also lets some water run down the bowl unless i do a slight lift of the lever. I got it a new flapper and the shit fits. I wonder what isn't letting it sit in place naturally.

  12. 1 month ago

    Here's a story of me fucking up horribly. It's my own fault.
    >Sliding shower door isn't moving smoothly
    >Take shower door off
    >The track roller has a crack in it. Like, a whole wedge missing
    >Go get new wheels
    >Replace them
    >Put the doors back on
    >Slide the door forward to test it
    >The door doesn't catch on the bottom track anymore
    >The door swings toward me and falls, shattering instantly
    >Tempered glass everywhere
    >My arms are cut to shit and I am standing barefoot in the shower
    >Walk out of the bathroom and gluestick my arms to stop the bleeding
    >Get the broom and start sweeping up pebble-like glass
    >An hour passes
    >Use wet rags to get all the glass particulate on the floor
    >Start looking at a replacement door. $250+ per door
    >Fuck my life
    >Sitting in the kitchen looking at replacement door options
    >Air conditioner turns on
    >Air pressure changes
    >Hear a colossal crash from the bathroom
    >The other fucking door fell off the rail and shattered
    >Repeat everything from before, but this time my housemates are helping
    >Picking glass shards out of the rail cut at the top of the shower.
    >GF comes home with a telescopic curtain rod and a curtain
    >We're actually much happier with the curtain rod over the glass doors

    • 1 month ago

      I'm glad you had people help you, and that you're alive. FWIW, I just put some glue on a cut I had in my hand. It seems to interrupt the healing process - I've lost a little bit of feeling

  13. 1 month ago

    >puke/popcorn bowl

    • 1 month ago

      it's also for washing feet on a daily basis, and during christmas we make a big potato salad in it.

  14. 1 month ago

    > contractor I work for gets job in ritzy beach enclave
    >major remodel of a ground floor condo in a high rise built in the 60s-70s
    >we're there to install cabinets and interior doors and other finish carpentry
    > boss is a tract house builder getting jobs way above his grade, likes to think he's an expert on everything building related
    > he's schmoozing with the client who is kind of a dick, client is bitching about building infrastructure he doesn't like but doesn't want to pay to change out even as he's doing custom everything in his ritzy beach condo
    > shows boss this weird heat exchanger thing that uses the building's central hot water supply pipes and a blower for environmental heating- never seen one before or since
    > says it's all rusty and old and looks like it could fail and leak at any time, but a new one is $1000, and fuck that, if it just leaked a tiny bit now his insurance would pay for it
    > wink.jpg
    >boss gets the message and agrees that it looks awfully close to failing and maybe just needs a tiny bit of help...pulls an ice pick out of his tool bag and spends 20 minutes in the utility closet
    >"there ya go, no extra charge, by tomorrow there should be enough moisture to get an adjuster to sign off on replacing it on sight"
    >whata fucking idiot, baka.gif
    > come back in the AM and the entire building is in turmoil;, there's hot water supply issues affecting everyone
    > go to dickhead client's unit and all work is stopped to deal with the total catastrophic failure of the heat exchanger thing overnight, which among other things has pumped hot water all over and completely ruined the $10K custom hand laid exotic hardwood parquet flooring that was installed last week
    >there's an 18" tall hump in the middle of the room and workers are tearing that shit out along with drywall and baseboards and a shit ton of other damaged materials
    > client is pissed at boss's insurance fraud incompetence so we never go back

    • 1 month ago

      Addendum: Heard later through the grapevine that insurance paid for a new heat exchanger, but that policy didn't cover any of the other stuff, lmao.

      That job was also memorable because there was a guy there working for another trade contractor who was the 10000% identical, can't ignore it, real life doppelganger of pic related.
      He was actually pretty cool, more than once I heard him say, " yeah, it's OK, I know what you're thinking and I'm not mad." when someone new showed up and did a double take

      • 1 month ago

        Aw, poor guy. Hope he got a nice wife even if she was ugly.

  15. 1 month ago

    Kitchen track lighting, transformer went out. All the connection brackets turned to dust as I touched them

  16. 1 month ago

    One time I had to get stitches and it stung a little bit. I just removed some stitches earlier today, actually, and my hands shake a bit more than they used to so I fucked up one of the stitches and had to dig it out with the needle nose tweezers and now it's itchy.

    • 1 month ago

      why did you remove your own stitches, are you a doctor?

      • 1 month ago

        Not yet. Interestingly, after I went back to school MDs are a lot more open with me about not knowing shit or just letting me do whatever.

        • 1 month ago

          PhD isn't MD.

          • 1 month ago

            Nope, but they still pull me over and go "look at that...weird, isn't it" when they used to never do that before. Anyway, you never took out your own stitches? I've done that at home since I was a kid. Only time I ever had to get help was when I had staples and that was because it was fucking staples.

    • 1 month ago

      >Americans have to perform their own surgical procedures on themselves because they can't afford to go to a Doctor

      • 1 month ago

        I didn't pay anything to get stitches and I wouldn't have had to pay to get them removed. I just didn't want to bother with going to the doctor. They're stitches. You can take them out yourself. I have no idea why people think that's weird.

        • 1 month ago

          yeah last year I pulled 20 staples and stitches out myself, takes 2 minutes why waste a whole day going to the dr

      • 1 month ago

        >Europeans have to wait in line for 2 years because there's an energy shortage for manufacturing suture, a refugee needed the existing suture inventory because he fell on a beer bottle, and the mandatory 1 year waiting time because "you're an evil white and fuck you and socialism".

  17. 1 month ago

    >buy a house
    >after closing/moving in realize every single outlet in the room that was a later addition/renovation isn't properly grounded despite having 3-prong outlets installed
    >have an electrician check it out
    >pull outlet covers off
    >realize whoever installed them snipped the fucking ground conductor off so he can't just land a conductor and be done with it
    >no attic access so can't bring a ground wire down from somewhere up above
    >crawl space doesn't extend under that portion of the house
    >will probably have to rip wall down to properly get at it
    Between this and a previous owner building a bathroom around the main fucking breaker box I wish for a slow, painful death on whatever Handy Andy decided this was acceptable.

    • 1 month ago

      Grounds are just a redundant neutral. Unnecessary.

    • 1 month ago

      When I replaced all the dimmer switches in my house with regular switches the previous owner hadn't grounded any of them.
      I haven't had a reason to check all of the outlets but the few I've looked in were grounded.

    • 1 month ago

      This happened when I bought my house. Owner was a "handyman" and his work looked good at a glance, but fucking *crumbled* under any kind of inspection. They ended up doing $10k in home repairs before closing.

    • 1 month ago

      In most places it is considered code compliant to have a 3 prong GFCI outlet that is ungrounded in situations like that. No need to fuck with wiring, just buy a GFCI outlet.

  18. 1 month ago

    Not a home repair story, happened while I was doing apartment maintenance back in the day
    >Be me, painting a bathroom and fixing a light fixture after a tenant moved out
    >Painting wall across from shower, vanity and sink and all that to my left
    >Sudden gurgle from toilet and drains in the room
    >Oh no
    >Fucking nasty ass sewage water erupts from all 3
    >Fucking plasters my back, side, and most of the room
    >Throw up in already disgusting sink
    Turns out the city was doing something to the sewer lines out by the street that day, whatever they did caused shit volcanoes in all the units closest to the street

    • 1 month ago

      I have a shit volcano story, sort of
      >working under a shitty old 1960s lake house where everything is 6-year old scabbed-together patchy junk
      >septic pump chamber is next to the building right where we’re working
      >coworker is trying to wiggle siding behind the ABS line that runs from the pump chamber to the septic tank
      >the cobbled-up DIY elbow connecting the chamber to the 4” line separates
      >100’ grey water and sewage immediately discharge out of the 4” line into coworker’s face
      >coworker flees high-pressure shit shower, runs to the lake and jumps in fully clothed
      >the rest of us laugh heartily at his misfortune

  19. 1 month ago

    >parents both pass
    >leave house to me
    >already own my own place
    >decide to rent house out
    >post a lot here and do lots of reading online
    >7 years without any major issues I cant personally solve
    >new tenants have lived at house for about a year or so
    >get a call about toilet not working
    >head over and check it out
    >flapper bloated and decayed
    >the o ring under the flapper is bloated and I can see floating bits and chunks missing
    >flapper and orink seal don't work together because seal is fucked beyond repair
    >ask tenant if they poured anything in the tank
    >"yeah I poured pure bleach in it once a month to mix with the water"
    I figured it was beyond my skill level. And of course the plumper I called out said my flange was also decayed and warped and I would need a new one of those too. I watched a bunch of videos and ended up just replacing the entire fucking toilet because it was an old toilet that was installed in the 80s. Got a new model and just installed it and a new flange and it wasn't too hard. But it was costly-ish and I had to explain to the tenant why what they did destroyed the toilet and not to do it again.

    • 1 month ago

      >it was costly-ish and I had to explain to the tenant why what they did destroyed the toilet
      You were in the right to charge them for damage/replacement.

  20. 1 month ago

    >split level home
    >“grinder” pump for basement shitter
    >like a sump pump but more beefy for solid waste matter
    >flush basement toilet after taking a massive shit
    >takes a while to go down and doesn’t flush all the way
    >flush again
    >same problem but a little worse
    >what the fuck is wrong with this toilet?
    >flush one more time
    >doesnt work at all
    >hear gurgling in shower as shit water starts bubbling out of the drain
    >run to utility room
    >sewage pooling on the floor near pump pit
    >have to stand in fresh shit water to remove pump pit lid
    >filled to the brim
    >grab a bucket and start bailing out poo goo
    >gagging as the crap slop sloshes around and wafts to my nose as i make my way to the door
    >multiple more buckets later and the situation seems to be under control, got some shit on my shorts
    >had to buy a new pump for like $400
    >replace it and try to wash away the psychological damage in the fetal position in a hot shower
    >it was a faulty unit and i go through the same hell like 2 months later
    At least it was under warranty the second time, so they gave me a new one for free, but they can never undo the mental scarring.

  21. 1 month ago

    >puke/popcorn bowl

  22. 1 month ago

    work as a welder in a cleanroom, making pipeworks for cooling of industrial equipment. we flush the insides of the pipes with argon to keep it from decoloration, using special blocks that fit to one of the manifolds.
    > colleague, lets call him Beavis, can't find a flush block
    > to lazy to search
    > plastic hose normally connects to the flush block. the block has a lot of thermal mass so it doesn't transfer the heat to the hose
    > Beavis just tapes the hoses into the manifold.
    > welds pipe to manifold
    > plastic tube melts and blue plastic/rubber is all over the insides
    > another collegue, lets call him Butthead, jumps in to help remove the plastic, using a steel wire brush on the end of a drill.
    > Butthead absolutely fucks the heck out of the hole and fails to get out the last of the blue plastic.
    > i leave them a bit to talk to someone else
    > hear a loud "FUCK" throughout the cleanroom.
    > walk towards them
    > the brush is partially snapped off inside the tube
    > they try getting it out for 40 minutes before they decide to saw off the pipe, drill out the manifolds welding cuff and replace the bit with a new pipe anyway.
    2 hours for two guys wasted because Beavis was to lazy to look in a few drawers.

  23. 1 month ago

    >ask wife to follow instructions
    >get angry at her because they don’t solve problem
    >angry because he is being asked to handle the “man” tasks around the house
    >rage posts about it on image board

    Next time just tell her to stay with her boyfriend until you get back

    • 1 month ago

      No no. The issue isn’t that following the instructions didn’t fix it. The issue is she half assed the work around (flushing the toilet with a bowl of water) and panicked instead of listening to instructions. No matter how fucked up the fill valve is, putting water down the toilet will flush it.

      Also, her boyfriend lives in a trailer with no plumbing at all, so that would have been worse.

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