>snow falls on a dimly lit Ural dacha as a Lada Niva pierces the darkness >from the shadows of the wooden hut, a great figure emerges >"Comrade Pavel... It's been a long time." Says the FSB man stepping out of the SUV wearing an ill fitting suit >the face of the great giant is illuminated only by the glow of an unfiltered cigarette. Smoke wisps into the air and joins with the flurry of snow >"I know why you're here comrade. I'm out of the game." Says the man, pursing his lips >"Russia needs you. Our boys need you. They're trapped out in the fields of Ukraine and they need cover quick. You're the only one that can get these guys out." >"I'm done shielding people. I gave my health and my mass for the motherland, and now I just want to rest." >the FSB man draws a soft sigh as he unbuttons his coat and reaches in. Pavel's eyes dart in trepidation. He knows what will happen next. >Can he cover the distance in time? In Afghanistan he once body slammed three mujahadeen off a mountain to save his squad... But that was a lifetime ago > The FSB man instead pulls out a hamburger from Vkusno & Tochka. Pavel's mouth waters as the agent tosses the burger to him >"Your down payment for one last operation... General." >Pavel unwraps the burger in a frenzy, but stops as he realizes what happened. They got him now. >"One last job, comrade agent? What assurances will you give that I'll be left alone after this?" >The FSB man wieners a devilish grin >"My dear General. Tasty... and That's It."
Now sorry to ruin the fun but this guy (and the rest in the back) appear to be from the Federal Customs Service of Russia. No idea why he's wearing that uniform though.
There is a reason why everyone calls you /k/ope trannies, because you got absolutely BTFO by russians trolls, that sent the Dailystar this fake story which got mirroed to other moron israelite sites.
[...]
And the leftmost dude is the best, with russian imperial eagle sitting atop of soviet badge with hammer and sickle
It's a day where Russian servicemen from past and present come together to get drunk, swim in fountains, and beat the shit out of random passersby. The VDV have one as well.
Shame we don't have one for the Rangers in some shithole like LA, the keks would be off the charts.
Where's the red trim? Why's the twine not yellow and a leather strap instead? Where's the lip on the brim? Why does the color of the 'broach' not match?
I've got no idea whether that guy's R*ssian, Ukrainian or what but that's clearly not the same hat.
Where's the red trim? Why's the twine not yellow and a leather strap instead? Where's the lip on the brim? Why does the color of the 'broach' not match?
I've got no idea whether that guy's R*ssian, Ukrainian or what but that's clearly not the same hat.
.
2 years ago
Anonymous
Yeah, the symbol would be the most indicative, but it's too small to properly make out.
2 years ago
Anonymous
There should be enough contextual clue to figure it out regardless. What about his clothes? Or that of the other people in the picture? This shouldn't be that hard.
>The catering plan I just filed with the restaurant lists me, my men, General Pavel here, but only ONE of you! >First one to talk gets to stay at my buffet!
>Shoygu, morale among the troops is dwindling, we need to do something. >I have just the right man for the job, it is said that he never runs from a fight.
https://www.fox3now.com/vladimir-putin-calls-up-retired-general-pavel-to-lead-troops-in-ukraine-after-running-out-of-commanders/ >General Pavel, a veteran of Russia’s disastrous war in Afghanistan, is being dragged out of retirement to join the battle in Ukraine. He is said to eat five meals a day washed down with a bottle of vodka
>General Pavel, a veteran of Russia’s disastrous war in Afghanistan, is being dragged out of retirement to join the battle in Ukraine. He is said to eat five meals a day washed down with a bottle of vodka
How is he still alive
How are any of these fat people alive for that matter
The HATO Pavel is obviously not even half the man Russias general Pavel is.
Clearly. Pavel is like 3 men at least, maybe even 4
2 Pavels x 4u = 8 ...but of what? Planes crashed with no survivors? Mercenaries trying to steal a prize? This is a sign!
>Planes crashed with no survivors? Mercenaries trying to steal a prize?
All of this has already happened between now and 2014. We’re in the post-credits scene now.
>The officer’s enormous girth necessitates that he wear two sets of body armor in addition to having his uniform tailored specifically for him so that it can accommodate his weight.
So he wears two vests, one one each side I guess?
>He is said to eat five meals a day washed down with a bottle of vodka
that's some serious PTSD, and now he has to go through it all over again, except with javelins instead of stinger missiles
poor circulation too, all the little capillaries not getting blood means the heat doesn't transfer there as fast, I think it's why out of shape people have freezing feet/hands
he is handsome. these gays are too in the closet to admire a masculine man of the old European phenotype. he looks like he would be a good wingman too. or in a cologne commercial smashing puss
>General Pavel, a veteran of Russia’s disastrous war in Afghanistan, is being dragged out of retirement to join the battle in Ukraine. He is said to eat five meals a day washed down with a bottle of vodka
How is he still alive
How are any of these fat people alive for that matter
[...]
Clearly. Pavel is like 3 men at least, maybe even 4
[...] >Planes crashed with no survivors? Mercenaries trying to steal a prize?
All of this has already happened between now and 2014. We’re in the post-credits scene now.
Which is funny because all the vatBlack folk and people who fantasize about sucking off the monke go on about how strong the ruble is and Czar Bomba here is the best they can do?
The original is about killing babies sure, but for real that is some really shitty meme remake considering the sanctions are there whether you like them or not and they're not going away vatnik.
2 years ago
Anonymous
The East can't meme.
2 years ago
Anonymous
You illiterate homosexual, what does supporting sanctions have to do with sanctions being in place? Nobody cares that you got butthurt over this comic, eat shit and preferably leave this place forever.
2 years ago
Anonymous
Post flush toilet
2 years ago
Anonymous
>moron newbie doesn't get that russian versions of memes doesn't make sense >tries to call others newbies for calling it out
I was not implying that I do not know this certain "individual", anon. Just that even tho he gives himself a name among anons he will still be a nobody at the end of the day. 🙂
Fair enough. At this point, given his consistent schizophrenic posting style and extremely limited collection of shill images he may as well just use a tripcode.
>Just that even tho he gives himself a name among anons he will still be a nobody at the end of the day. 🙂
I just want to point that name does not mean shit.
Also i suck dicks.
You are a serb and a namegayging c**t. You will have a nice day when the vatniks are kicked out of Ukraine and everybody you know will let out a sight of relief.
No one gonna bring up that Mandic is a Black person cuckold fetishist? Guess I will.
Okay but does anybody actually have an idea on where this image is from? As much as I wish the story of General Pavel eating 5 meals a day and downing it with a liter of vodka was true, it sounds way too general and doesn't go into any real detail about the lad.
The hats these three wear look a lot like your standard run of the mill soviet-style giant ass dress uniform hats, yet their colors and markings don't resemble anything I could find. The uniforms are even weirder. Now I ain't one to praise Donbabwe and Luganda but they appear to have eliminated the problem of their troops looking like an average airsoft game uniform-wise years ago, all of them we've seen so far wear your standard digiflora. Not to mention that we very rarely see DLNR officers in dress uniforms, if at all. Meanwhile the big lad is wearing what looks to be desert digiflora, the guy on the rightmost is wearing generic camo pants with something that looks like Ukrainian dubok from before 2014 as the top, and the guy in the center is just wearing some black pants with some random camo shirt.
Where the frick is this from?
Yeah, I see nothing to confirm the hilarious story everyone keeps sharing about this. It's questionable as frick. It is a really funny picture no matter who he is. I guess we know what happened to the last seven years of Russian military rations.
> The officer’s enormous girth necessitates that he wear two sets of body armor in addition to having his uniform tailored specifically for him so that it can accommodate his weight. >It is believed that he must eat five meals a day, each of which must be followed by at least one liter of vodka.
Whew imagine his girth on top of some fresh conscript
he's probably too fat and old and alcoholic to maintain an erection. When the raping ritual begins he probably just makes conscripts suck his breasts till he achieves orgasm.
>We will bring the FULL WEIGHT of our army to battle, general >General, I will EAT through your forces >SCUD storm, general? I've done worse, believe me
>Ivan: I'm I fat doc, wife says I am? >Doc: Yes, you are >Ivan: Why am I fat, is there a medical reason >Doc: Your greedy Ivan >Ivan: Greed is the reason >Doc: Yes, it is >Ivan: Greed is a western value, NATO is western >Doc: Wait, what!!! >Ivan: NATO must of dropped a greed bomb on me to make me fat >Doc: I think it's more likely something in your diet >Ivan: So NATO poisoned me with greed, I'll nuke them for this >Doc: Just calm down, now tell me what type of food do you eat >Ivan: Chinese...
Okay but does anybody actually have an idea on where this image is from? As much as I wish the story of General Pavel eating 5 meals a day and downing it with a liter of vodka was true, it sounds way too general and doesn't go into any real detail about the lad.
The hats these three wear look a lot like your standard run of the mill soviet-style giant ass dress uniform hats, yet their colors and markings don't resemble anything I could find. The uniforms are even weirder. Now I ain't one to praise Donbabwe and Luganda but they appear to have eliminated the problem of their troops looking like an average airsoft game uniform-wise years ago, all of them we've seen so far wear your standard digiflora. Not to mention that we very rarely see DLNR officers in dress uniforms, if at all. Meanwhile the big lad is wearing what looks to be desert digiflora, the guy on the rightmost is wearing generic camo pants with something that looks like Ukrainian dubok from before 2014 as the top, and the guy in the center is just wearing some black pants with some random camo shirt.
Where the frick is this from?
It's literally shitposting from the Bong tabloids.
Dude was posted on r/absoluteunits 3 weeks ago and they picked it up. I mean come on, a general and he doesn't even have a first name?
I'm sure he was horrified he was mobilized again. It says he served in Afghanistan and was serving in Syria right up until his retirement 5 years ago. Since then he's been living in a Moscow suburb, probably eating lots of food and staying shitfaced drunk, enjoying retirement. Then he gets the letter he's called back up to active duty. He looks fricking pissed and kind of embarrassed as well in the photos.
I love how the dress uniform of Russian field grade officers appears to be a zippered stretchy track suit jacket. Like if a generic fat mob boss from the Sopranos was given a commission
add some abibas stripes to the sides and it'll be perfect.
Kek
But seriously why? Surely the hyper image-conscious vane leadership of the Russian federation would realize how sleezy and lazy a zippered track uniform looks?
Now sorry to ruin the fun but this guy (and the rest in the back) appear to be from the Federal Customs Service of Russia. No idea why he's wearing that uniform though.
>vatnig accuses westerners of mental illness >when Russia has state-enforced homosexuality for all fighting-age men
http://wikipedia.org/wiki/Dedovschina
This man strategic genius requires immense calories. I’m just one fortnight of military thought, this man will shrink down to 120lb if not supplied with the flesh of fresh conscripts, medium rare.
A thread this size for a man of his size is truly a blessing. 5 meals a day and enough Vodka to make Godolfini blush will come to you but only if you send this thread to the Archive.
>Lord Pavel, we chased the last Azov soldiers as deep into the steel factory sewers as we could go... Cum pits, shit and garbage up to your shoulders, nothing could survive that- It's a certainty. >a great mass bubbles and emerges from the liquid >So it's done then? Send word to India, to begin selling our oil reserves... But slowly. We don't want the Ruble to fall. >...You have no idea how much it cost me to bring my force to bear here. Now I only have one requirement... >Dinner! Feed me Rabban, and feed hard! >Yes Pavel. ...And the shoppers? >Kill them all.
it's simple, we eat the Ukrainians
Taking a page out of Chinese military tactics I see general!
That's a Ukrainian
Singlehandedly holding up entire Russian divisions by simply eating their supplies. What a lad
hahahah...
you call that a ukrainian?
this is a ukrainian!
God I hate fat people. Gas them all.
>not just starving them but wasting their labor force instead
ngmi
'Cado was born in Kherson so he is Russian now
Lmao
So this is what Russia is invading Ukraine for
except it's not
he is Russian general from their Afghanistan era
68 years old
scraping bottom of barrel
>scraping bottom of barrel of fat
you think there's a barrel big enough to fit all that?
>snow falls on a dimly lit Ural dacha as a Lada Niva pierces the darkness
>from the shadows of the wooden hut, a great figure emerges
>"Comrade Pavel... It's been a long time." Says the FSB man stepping out of the SUV wearing an ill fitting suit
>the face of the great giant is illuminated only by the glow of an unfiltered cigarette. Smoke wisps into the air and joins with the flurry of snow
>"I know why you're here comrade. I'm out of the game." Says the man, pursing his lips
>"Russia needs you. Our boys need you. They're trapped out in the fields of Ukraine and they need cover quick. You're the only one that can get these guys out."
>"I'm done shielding people. I gave my health and my mass for the motherland, and now I just want to rest."
>the FSB man draws a soft sigh as he unbuttons his coat and reaches in. Pavel's eyes dart in trepidation. He knows what will happen next.
>Can he cover the distance in time? In Afghanistan he once body slammed three mujahadeen off a mountain to save his squad... But that was a lifetime ago
> The FSB man instead pulls out a hamburger from Vkusno & Tochka. Pavel's mouth waters as the agent tosses the burger to him
>"Your down payment for one last operation... General."
>Pavel unwraps the burger in a frenzy, but stops as he realizes what happened. They got him now.
>"One last job, comrade agent? What assurances will you give that I'll be left alone after this?"
>The FSB man wieners a devilish grin
>"My dear General. Tasty... and That's It."
Im loving it
>"My dear General. Tasty... and That's It."
I'm in frickin tears
Perfection
Beautiful
I clapped
He will be soon be opposed by the ultimate challenge to the fast food wars.
>Gorky Park begins playing
>directed by Mikhail Bayovich
Starring Steven Seagal as General Pavel
bump
what if he is a Cincinnatus/Scipio Africanus/Lord Castellan Ursarkar E. Creed grade warboss? who turns the tide with 100 baneblades?
There is a reason why everyone calls you /k/ope trannies, because you got absolutely BTFO by russians trolls, that sent the Dailystar this fake story which got mirroed to other moron israelite sites.
Russian Border Guards wear those exact hats, moron.
These soviet badges always cracks me up
It's a day where Russian servicemen from past and present come together to get drunk, swim in fountains, and beat the shit out of random passersby. The VDV have one as well.
Shame we don't have one for the Rangers in some shithole like LA, the keks would be off the charts.
Why they so gay?
It's dey culcha
https://wikipedia.org/wiki/Dedovshchina
> VDV have one as well
*had
Bruh! Its just so fricking gay! Its like an all male military Mardi Gras.
Hats? Where we are going, we won't need hats.
And the leftmost dude is the best, with russian imperial eagle sitting atop of soviet badge with hammer and sickle
Yeah, but the symbol on the general's hat is very clearly the Ukrainian one, not the Russian one.
Where's the red trim? Why's the twine not yellow and a leather strap instead? Where's the lip on the brim? Why does the color of the 'broach' not match?
I've got no idea whether that guy's R*ssian, Ukrainian or what but that's clearly not the same hat.
Cope more vatnik
Now this looks a lot closer.
Neither one fits exactly though. See
.
Yeah, the symbol would be the most indicative, but it's too small to properly make out.
There should be enough contextual clue to figure it out regardless. What about his clothes? Or that of the other people in the picture? This shouldn't be that hard.
That’s no Ukrainian, it’s a space station
No one cared who I was till I put on the hat...
Those Donbabweans behind him are even better. I wonder if they bought these hats on ebay, or russia making some use of their old soviet surplus.
If I took that off, would he die?
it would be extremely painful
Keeping it on is more of a death sentence
>He was trying to grab your pies
>He works for the patisserie. The pancetta man?
>CHAMPAGNE?
GET IT IN MY STOMACH, I'LL ORDER IN
>The catering plan I just filed with the restaurant lists me, my men, General Pavel here, but only ONE of you!
>First one to talk gets to stay at my buffet!
LOT OF CALORIES FOR A GLAZED BUN
Or perhaps he's wondering why someone would feed a man before throwing him out of a buffet?
AT LEAST YOU CAN TIP. WHO ARE YOU?
It doesn't matter who we are. What matters is our appetite!
No one cared who I was till I put on the mass
Russia truly is a man eat man country
that's an American mercenary
You mean a British SAS.
lotta loyalty for a hired gun
Do Russian medals mean anything? I always considered it like the norks where it’s just their own version of a chevron patch or whatever ID symbols.
some of them just lie about it
>seven orders of lenin
Would be good name for a movie about the collapse of the Russian Federation.
There's scraping the barrel and then there's appointing said barrel.
Underrated
>Shoygu, morale among the troops is dwindling, we need to do something.
>I have just the right man for the job, it is said that he never runs from a fight.
never runs towards one either
Hearty chuckle m8
General Pavel, I'm CIAte
https://www.fox3now.com/vladimir-putin-calls-up-retired-general-pavel-to-lead-troops-in-ukraine-after-running-out-of-commanders/
>General Pavel, a veteran of Russia’s disastrous war in Afghanistan, is being dragged out of retirement to join the battle in Ukraine. He is said to eat five meals a day washed down with a bottle of vodka
Inb4gout
>General Pavel, a veteran of Russia’s disastrous war in Afghanistan, is being dragged out of retirement to join the battle in Ukraine. He is said to eat five meals a day washed down with a bottle of vodka
How is he still alive
How are any of these fat people alive for that matter
Clearly. Pavel is like 3 men at least, maybe even 4
>Planes crashed with no survivors? Mercenaries trying to steal a prize?
All of this has already happened between now and 2014. We’re in the post-credits scene now.
>The officer’s enormous girth necessitates that he wear two sets of body armor in addition to having his uniform tailored specifically for him so that it can accommodate his weight.
So he wears two vests, one one each side I guess?
Nah, it can't be.
>He is said to eat five meals a day washed down with a bottle of vodka
the man has to keep his girlish figure somehow.
>His name's actually pavel
>He's a big guy
for you
>He is said to eat five meals a day washed down with a bottle of vodka
that's some serious PTSD, and now he has to go through it all over again, except with javelins instead of stinger missiles
General Pavel, I'm FSB
Why the camo outfit? You can spot this guy from orbit.
His thermal signature alone will draw in any heat seeking missiles in the operational theater.
Fat is an insulator, his skin temperature is colder than fit people
t. fatty
poor circulation too, all the little capillaries not getting blood means the heat doesn't transfer there as fast, I think it's why out of shape people have freezing feet/hands
"The breadbasket of Europe?? Don't mind if I do!"
*wiggles fingers*
There's no way that's a real photo. Just look at everything.
Uniform size: T-72 cover
Did you know Russia is so rich that it has fat people? Well did you?
I knew it had T-I-G-R-S
he is handsome. these gays are too in the closet to admire a masculine man of the old European phenotype. he looks like he would be a good wingman too. or in a cologne commercial smashing puss
>How is he still alive
he ate death.
13 is cute. I'd pork her.
I pity Russians at this point. What a shit show of a war.
Which is funny because all the vatBlack folk and people who fantasize about sucking off the monke go on about how strong the ruble is and Czar Bomba here is the best they can do?
Ukraine is losing
Russia already lost
two more weeks
Can you explain to us what a R*ssian victory would look like?
Russia holds Luhansk, Donetsk, and Sevastopol! Decisive Russian Victory!
Pretty sad that I never get a (serious) answer to this question. Apparently even vatnigs just don't know.
So moronic vatBlack person shills keep claiming, yet somehow Ukraine objectively keeps winning.
lol
>a "z" shittily painted on a truck from the 1980s
Damn bro, you sure showed him
lol
What would a R*ssian victory look like?
No idea, but it includes lots of dead hohols.
Your meme doesn't even make sense
Thank you for outing yourself newbie shill.
The original is about killing babies sure, but for real that is some really shitty meme remake considering the sanctions are there whether you like them or not and they're not going away vatnik.
The East can't meme.
You illiterate homosexual, what does supporting sanctions have to do with sanctions being in place? Nobody cares that you got butthurt over this comic, eat shit and preferably leave this place forever.
Post flush toilet
>moron newbie doesn't get that russian versions of memes doesn't make sense
>tries to call others newbies for calling it out
NATO has its own General Pavel....and he is in much better shape.
The HATO Pavel is obviously not even half the man Russias general Pavel is.
There are hippos that aren't half the "man" Russia's Pavel is.
D-do you need some meds?
>The HATO Pavel is obviously not even half the man Russias general Pavel is.
Is that because of Russian Pavel's weight and girth
He is rather handsome.
gay
He's well groomed
Indeed
2 Pavels x 4u = 8 ...but of what? Planes crashed with no survivors? Mercenaries trying to steal a prize? This is a sign!
>wait a minute, that card
there's a master plan
>NATO has its own General Pavel....and he is in much better shape.
That guy is handsome as frick i'd commit war crimes if he commanded me.
Uhhhhhh... Guys? Has anyone else noticed a similarity between him and a certain enjoyer of large mass?
Post-War Ukraine will be Architected.
wow, that 13 is really good.
A lot of breeding shall be done after the war. All those single Ukrainian women.
Salud.
dozens of children per family will be mandatory, as with dozens of firearms also being mandatory.
Cue the glorious Ukrainian Breeding Threads on /trash/, lol.
Based
related because tanks are heavy
10/10. Would breed.
ohh yeah
Lot of generous family support, encouraging them to have many children and praising impregnation.
would, would, would, would
would (on the right)
would, and would (on the bottom)
>would (on the right)
I'd marry 13 and 16
Frick 14
Kill 15
Poлл 4 number 13
>Ukraine is the breadbasket of the world
>It must not fall
Lot of carbs in Ukraine.
but does NATO have their own Kane?
If Russia ever kills him no one will believe it's real
10/10 would fight Harkonnen and Sardaukar with
Too bad that sardukars turned out to be a tiktok army
he will be running for the czech presidency in february
He vaguely looks like Colonel Sanders
>Ukrainian Pavel is Col Sanders
>Russian Pavel looks like he eats KFC every day
Somebody more schizophrenic than me needs to make a connection here.
He cute and handsome
Oh shit it's Mr Creosote
>Fear not president Putin i shall bring the full weight of the Russian war machine down on the rebels
>Russia is literally bringing out a boomer as a bossfight
This fricking timeline, man
A B S O L U T U N I T
underrated
A Russian challenger appears for Super Potato?
>"At last, a worthy opponent! Our sumo battle will be LEGENDARY!"
This man isn't even fat, you stupid frick. Go jump off the roof already.
Valeri is BigGuy4U. Pavel is just some sack of potatoes that came to life.
My point is, it's amusing that Russians called Super Potato "Doughboy".....then proceeded to get a Russian General TWICE the man's size.
Local Kozak dude.
>GENERAL
SECOND ARMY IN THE WORLD
What a hilariously forced meme. Havent expected more from a namegay tho tbqh
>he's not familiar with our resident S*rbian schizo
Srbija je Turkije
I was not implying that I do not know this certain "individual", anon. Just that even tho he gives himself a name among anons he will still be a nobody at the end of the day. 🙂
Fair enough. At this point, given his consistent schizophrenic posting style and extremely limited collection of shill images he may as well just use a tripcode.
>Just that even tho he gives himself a name among anons he will still be a nobody at the end of the day. 🙂
I just want to point that name does not mean shit.
Also i suck dicks.
I LOVE TURKISH DICK
>i suck dicks.
We know
btw I’m trans
Nice man! A steady source for Vitamin C that no one can take from you.
Kyiv offensive
I mean Kiribati could invade Tuvalu but I don't think it'd be a good idea.
You are a serb and a namegayging c**t. You will have a nice day when the vatniks are kicked out of Ukraine and everybody you know will let out a sight of relief.
>kicked out of Ukraine
>a literal twitter screencap
the absolute state
>casually loses over 1000 tanks in a little over 4 months of combat
You will NEVER be an Albanian
No one gonna bring up that Mandic is a Black person cuckold fetishist? Guess I will.
Yeah, I see nothing to confirm the hilarious story everyone keeps sharing about this. It's questionable as frick. It is a really funny picture no matter who he is. I guess we know what happened to the last seven years of Russian military rations.
>24 February 2022
shall be adding this to my "tweets that didn't age well" folder
OH HEY! CAN YOU STILL SUCK MANDICK THROUGH ALL THAT LAYER OF FAT? XAXAXAXAXAXAXAXAXAX
they ran out of tanks so now they're sending in the fatties
he's a big guy
> The officer’s enormous girth necessitates that he wear two sets of body armor in addition to having his uniform tailored specifically for him so that it can accommodate his weight.
>It is believed that he must eat five meals a day, each of which must be followed by at least one liter of vodka.
Whew imagine his girth on top of some fresh conscript
he's probably too fat and old and alcoholic to maintain an erection. When the raping ritual begins he probably just makes conscripts suck his breasts till he achieves orgasm.
Thanks for making me picture that nightmare
The Big Mac of Mariupol
He isn't Russian general that's fat bastard from Austin Powers, good try hohols.
>We will bring the FULL WEIGHT of our army to battle, general
>General, I will EAT through your forces
>SCUD storm, general? I've done worse, believe me
He ate the previous general, absorbing all of his powers.
it's just a trick of the eye
>>>/tg/
>Ivan: I'm I fat doc, wife says I am?
>Doc: Yes, you are
>Ivan: Why am I fat, is there a medical reason
>Doc: Your greedy Ivan
>Ivan: Greed is the reason
>Doc: Yes, it is
>Ivan: Greed is a western value, NATO is western
>Doc: Wait, what!!!
>Ivan: NATO must of dropped a greed bomb on me to make me fat
>Doc: I think it's more likely something in your diet
>Ivan: So NATO poisoned me with greed, I'll nuke them for this
>Doc: Just calm down, now tell me what type of food do you eat
>Ivan: Chinese...
>Doc: Just calm down, now tell me what type of food do you eat
>Ivan: Chinese...
lol, so that's why Xi don't want to help the russia
Ultimate tank commander. Able to seal the top hatch by simply exhaling.
Mr Boombastic Elefantastic
UnderrATEd
They've finally caught Dr. Robotnik!
>Unshaven, morbidly obese, uniform instead of squared away is rounded out.
What better example of Z do you need?
Porkins survived the Death Star?
Okay but does anybody actually have an idea on where this image is from? As much as I wish the story of General Pavel eating 5 meals a day and downing it with a liter of vodka was true, it sounds way too general and doesn't go into any real detail about the lad.
The hats these three wear look a lot like your standard run of the mill soviet-style giant ass dress uniform hats, yet their colors and markings don't resemble anything I could find. The uniforms are even weirder. Now I ain't one to praise Donbabwe and Luganda but they appear to have eliminated the problem of their troops looking like an average airsoft game uniform-wise years ago, all of them we've seen so far wear your standard digiflora. Not to mention that we very rarely see DLNR officers in dress uniforms, if at all. Meanwhile the big lad is wearing what looks to be desert digiflora, the guy on the rightmost is wearing generic camo pants with something that looks like Ukrainian dubok from before 2014 as the top, and the guy in the center is just wearing some black pants with some random camo shirt.
Where the frick is this from?
I remember seeing this weeks ago. I think it's a border official, customs officer in Russia or something. I'm not sure.
It's literally shitposting from the Bong tabloids.
Dude was posted on r/absoluteunits 3 weeks ago and they picked it up. I mean come on, a general and he doesn't even have a first name?
Greetings from The Humungus! The Lord Humungus! The Warrior of the Wasteland! The Ayatollah of Rock and Rolla!
Ok
Elden Ring boss looking mf
>run image search
>reddit military
So this is the shilling power of Okraina!
It's not implausible a RETIRED military officer would be fat. Dude never expected to be called back into service.
Why did they call him back into service?
The experienced generals are being injured or killed and Putin is having to call up retired generals to replace them.
I'm sure he was horrified he was mobilized again. It says he served in Afghanistan and was serving in Syria right up until his retirement 5 years ago. Since then he's been living in a Moscow suburb, probably eating lots of food and staying shitfaced drunk, enjoying retirement. Then he gets the letter he's called back up to active duty. He looks fricking pissed and kind of embarrassed as well in the photos.
What does that have to do with what you're replying to?
>t. General Pavel
>not being morbidly obese is reddit
No, taking pictures off of reddit is reddit.
The NYP is reddit?
You don't seriously think that the New York Post is a legitimate newspaper, do you?
It's not reddit is all I'm saying. That boogeyman seriously lives 24/7 rent-free in some of y'all's head.
:^)
General, what are you going to do?
EAT!
>"Conquer Poland? It was delicious!"
Megaton Pavel.
General Pavel, I'm Chipotle
The meal plan I just filed with the FSB lists me, my hectare of potatoes, a bottle of vodka, and none of you
Russia ran out of massive missiles so they grabbed the first human missile they could load into the cannon.
You've seen the Butcher of Syria. Now meet, The Baker of Kabul.
Are we sure that's not a C&C character?
They will drop him on Ukraine, the country will collapse in an instant
Oh lawd he comin for them pies
I JUST BAGGED THE WORLD'S FATTEST MAN!
Aw lawd he comin
Now we know why Turkey is changing their name to Türkie. They're afraid he'll eat everyone
Right proper Bo is that
YOU CAN ONLY BRING ONE PLATE TO MY BUFFET
>"General Pavel, we're KIA"
He wasn't alone
I love how the dress uniform of Russian field grade officers appears to be a zippered stretchy track suit jacket. Like if a generic fat mob boss from the Sopranos was given a commission
>Like if a generic fat mob boss from the Sopranos was given a commission
You mean Shoigu?
Yes actually, he is exactly that
Kek
But seriously why? Surely the hyper image-conscious vane leadership of the Russian federation would realize how sleezy and lazy a zippered track uniform looks?
add some abibas stripes to the sides and it'll be perfect.
Uh, you don't get to bring fries
Very good
General Pavel is so fat his radar signature is bigger than a Flanker.
the pavelest of them all
Now sorry to ruin the fun but this guy (and the rest in the back) appear to be from the Federal Customs Service of Russia. No idea why he's wearing that uniform though.
bigger
Even norks are now replacing their mushroom hats with satellite dishes
>Hey, Kim. Do you want new hats for your generals? We have more hats than we have generals now, so just ask, and they are yours
>All those medals
>For a country that hasn't seen any real military action in decades
>hat architect
What thefrick is happening in this thread
>ACK!, you gotta fricking rekt
Now that's what I call an organic post, very cool anon!
>vatnig accuses westerners of mental illness
>when Russia has state-enforced homosexuality for all fighting-age men
http://wikipedia.org/wiki/Dedovschina
The only thing he can order is french fries.
This man strategic genius requires immense calories. I’m just one fortnight of military thought, this man will shrink down to 120lb if not supplied with the flesh of fresh conscripts, medium rare.
Truely a weapon to surpass METAL GEAR!
I almost feel really bad for the guy that made that image. He probably expected the war to go very differently.
Why does Pavel, the largest Russian, simply not eat the Ukrainians?
bump
>captcha: J G0D X
They're sending GENERAL PAVEL?
Oh, you feel scared, motherf***er?
Sh*t, Black, that's all you had to say!
why the asterisks?
he's from reddit
He's a phone poster using text to speech. By default text to speech censors swear words.
I'm trans btw
the only thing he's missing is correct camo pattern
>he does it for free
>That's a big pie
>For you....
>weapons
It's weapons related
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bouncing_bomb
he's a big guy for you
He's on Special Beach Operation.
《 oтpыжкa этo cooбщeниe oт eды 》
" BELCHES ARE A MESSAGE FROM THE MEAL "
My Donbas, my spoon
>Baron Kharkovnen
>GENERAL PAVEL...
I'm CIA. You don't get to bring friends.
Is that Gerard Depardieu on the left? Tf he's doing there?
hes looking for the next Obelix actor
Do you have face blindness or something, anon? That guy looks nothing like Depardieu.
>You’re a big general.
>For U-kraine
i guess he wont be afraid of getting hit by missiles because the gravity bends around him
I am F.A.T
>Gimme another cheburek Cyka I hunger
A thread this size for a man of his size is truly a blessing. 5 meals a day and enough Vodka to make Godolfini blush will come to you but only if you send this thread to the Archive.
>Lord Pavel, we chased the last Azov soldiers as deep into the steel factory sewers as we could go... Cum pits, shit and garbage up to your shoulders, nothing could survive that- It's a certainty.
>a great mass bubbles and emerges from the liquid
>So it's done then? Send word to India, to begin selling our oil reserves... But slowly. We don't want the Ruble to fall.
>...You have no idea how much it cost me to bring my force to bear here. Now I only have one requirement...
>Dinner! Feed me Rabban, and feed hard!
>Yes Pavel. ...And the shoppers?
>Kill them all.
New thread, come and get your seconds