Any war stories of extreme retardation?

I mean something so moronic I could hardly believe what I'm reading
Also, picrel is probably fake but still

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  1. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Not trying to derail this into Ukro-Russian shitflinging but the Ukranian doorbell traps are absolutely moronic.
    Literally
    >put a random button on a tree in the woods
    >Russians press the button
    >button sets off a bomb
    Also for a short while they were just randomly landing drones to make it seem like they ran out of power, then Russians would for some reason rush over to them, THEN they would detonate the drone payload.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous
      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        The urge to press random out-of-place buttons is truly basic human instinct. They'd have gotten me too.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Who put it up, Wile E. Coyote? Bugs Bunny?

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        I don't know if I would have pressed it without trying to follow the wiring, but absent a warning there's a solid 35% chance.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      It's not moronic if it works
      few can resist the urge to push the button

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Honestly can't blame them, if I saw a button on a tree I'd immediately press it

        Not trying to derail this into Ukro-Russian shitflinging but the Ukranian doorbell traps are absolutely moronic.
        Literally
        >put a random button on a tree in the woods
        >Russians press the button
        >button sets off a bomb
        Also for a short while they were just randomly landing drones to make it seem like they ran out of power, then Russians would for some reason rush over to them, THEN they would detonate the drone payload.

        I would have been filtered too tbh

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Same.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Honestly can't blame them, if I saw a button on a tree I'd immediately press it

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Ask not for whom the doorbell tolls, it tolls for thee

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      This story with the bell is same as "nobody could refuse to pick the card if offered to. Like sounds moronic, ME definately wouldnt do it, but, really? I dont know, i never refused to pick a cars in my life, thats for sure.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      The funniest part is that they'd probably live if they just used a stick like any sensible person

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous
      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        a rare and lethal anomaly,, do not be fooled by its temptations.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          It's an irl SCP.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous
        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          You get DICE LA camo by hitting the switch

          both made me chuckle

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        You get DICE LA camo by hitting the switch

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        In my head I was picturing like a nice antique style doorbell mysteriously attached to a tree, that would be really hard to resist
        this ugly thing crudely zip tied to the trunk is so obviously a trap

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Had the same thought

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Same here, that pic of a box strapped to a tree looks more like a bomb than a doorbell. What possibly could have gone through the minds of those vatbots?

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous
      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        I would press that button

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >MUST NOT PRESS THE BUTTON!

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        don't be shy press that button come on press that button don't be shy don't be shy come on press that button press that button come ondon't be shy press that button come on press that button don't be shy don't be shy come on press that button press that button come ondon't be shy press that button come on press that button don't be shy don't be shy come on press that button press that button come ondon't be shy press that button come on press that button don't be shy don't be shy come on press that button press that button come ondon't be shy press that button come on press that button don't be shy don't be shy come on press that button press that button come on

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I once read that the Germans sometimes did that with pianos in WW2.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        The piano keys activated specific parts of the electric floors to make the israelites jump for officer entertainment.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        The piano keys activated specific parts of the electric floors to make the israelites jump for officer entertainment.

        In fact, it was customary to play the overture of Die Meistersinger von Nuremberg. Now all israelites have an integrated racial fear of that opera. Try it at the next bar mitzvah you go to.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >he thinks he can resist the call of the forest button

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      It's not moronic if it works
      few can resist the urge to push the button

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      no, this entire war proves that at least when it's slav vs slav war is a looney tunes comedy.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      people are often curious, negligent or simply moronic

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >Ynetnews website reported that the man, Israel Levy, was lightly wounded by the explosion.
        >lighty wounded
        lol
        lmao even

        Some real "returned to port under its own power" vibes.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          slap on the wrist equivalent of surviving IEDs, he claims his handgun absorbed most of the shrapnel. lucky guy.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Ah, shame. May he not be so lucky next time.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >Two examples of things that only happened once
      I hate Black folk blowing things out of proportion. Might as well post the fricking tank gif too.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        The drone thing has happened multiple times

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >only happened once
        I've heard a ton of reports about the doorbell traps and I've literally seen the drone trick done more times than I can remember

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous
    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      this is an urban legend back from the gulf war. you bots never quit do you?
      >Not trying to derail this into Ukro-Russian
      lol

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Honestly can't blame them, if I saw a button on a tree I'd immediately press it

      [...]
      [...]
      I would have been filtered too tbh

      RIP

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      that's straight out of fricking dexter's laboratory. americans watch cartoon network, god watches russians.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      was anyone else reminded of the big red button stage from the dumb ways to die stage
      i always pressed it

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Here ya go you glorious morons

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        whoops i fricked the postioning up

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >Also for a short while they were just randomly landing drones to make it seem like they ran out of power, then Russians would for some reason rush over to them, THEN they would detonate the drone payload.
      Easily explainable through monkey brain bullshit:
      >scary thing kill many men
      >scary thing go down on ground
      >KILL KILL KILL
      problem is it's modern warfare so the scary thing is probably a glitter bomb which just so happens to be made of pieces of metal.

  2. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous
    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Same story with better presentation

      I love the Baltic Fleet's whacky adventure of Doom.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Mr Ballen's video better

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      nice resolution dumbass

  3. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I remember one instance in WWII where the Japanese abandoned an island, left it littered with mines, and the advancing force tripped on multiple mines despite having no real resistance.
    I can't remember what it was called.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous
      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >Both U.S. and Canadian forces mistook each other, after a Canadian soldier shot at U.S. lines believing they were Japanese, and a friendly fire incident occurred, which left 28 Americans and 4 Canadians dead, with 50 wounded on either side.

        Why are leafs so much better at fighting than mutts?

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          canada had a much much larger proportion of rural / homesteader population at this point in history than the us.
          farm boys are generally going to be better at WW2 style fighting, no matter where they're from
          also I'm pretty sure in this instance the us were the first to recognise the blue on blue so stopped firing well before the canadians did

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          All fighting entirely depends on geography

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          america's advantage in warfare has always been the untouchable industrial core
          their actual troops are shit, this is well documented

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Top cope

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          I was going to say 2 more years fighting experience but I looked it up and the 6th Canadian Inf. div. was entirely territorial defense units who had spent the entire war wearing cat ears in Vancouver and a few recently activated reserve battalions from regiments fighting in Europe.

          My only waffling explique is that they had SNCOs with 2-4 years of previous war crimes experience in WW1 and 3 years of STAG duty and periodic training allows infantry training to gel/come together a lot better than being a GI shipped straight from boot camp to Kisha.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          It was revenge for https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gander_(dog), and a lot of other things.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Canadians have a genetic impulse to commit war crimes

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          They probably just caught them in a bad position, ignore everyone else.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Canadians are naturally over-aggressive and moronic, like human shitbulls. Whether that makes them "better" is up for debate, but nobody likes a teamkilling fricktard.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >nobody likes a teamkilling fricktard.
            We still haven't forgot Tarnak Farm you hoser.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >killing friendlies means you're the better fighter
          Let me guess, you're a syrup commie.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Yes, moron.
            Killing someone objectively improves you're a better fighter than them.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Oh say can you seeeeeeeee....

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous
  4. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Source: The Home Guard of Britain by Charles Graves
    >One man noted for is slowness in grasping a subject, after having fired his first dummy no. 36 grenade from discharger, in all sincerity looked quite aghast when he could not find grenade in discharger after firing same. Furthermore, on being asked to return his empty case (ballistite), said: "I canna as I've just fired it"

    >On an exercise I asked a man guarding a closed road what his job was. He said he didn't know. The following then took place:
    Who put you here?
    >Don't know sir.
    Who is your Platoon Sergeant?
    >Don't know sir
    Who is your Platoon Officer?
    >Don't know sir
    Who is your Company Commander?
    >Don't know sir
    Who am I?
    >Don't know sir
    How long have you been in the company?
    >Three months sir
    How often do you drill?
    >Five nights a week sir
    He was discharged later as mentally deficient.

    >another story is told by a sergeant-major who was giving a demonstration of AA fire. He told his Platoon they would have better results if they waited until the dive bomber got within at least one thousand feet from the ground. "Would it be advisable to fix bayonets?" was one of the first questions directed at him. The sergeant-major, for the first time in his life, was struck speechless.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >"Would it be advisable to fix bayonets?" was one of the first questions directed at him.
      no way that wasn't cheeky come on

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Yep, sounds like someone got wooshed so hard they even wrote it down in a book.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >Would it be advisable to fix bayonets?
      That phrase was so British it automatically had an accent in my head

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >would it be advisable to fix bayonets
      That private was a legend for the rest of the war

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >Would it be advisable to fix bayonets?
      Ideal Imperial Guardsman.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >"Would it be advisable to fix bayonets?"
      read that in Michael Palin's voice

  5. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Original story from SoF

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Also, sitting on an ak

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        That's an rpd you stupid Black person

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          That's just another kind of SKS

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Its in reference the the sof piece you tit, "how do they sit on an ak"

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >sit on ak magazine like this
        >this somehow rusts and scratches the bottom of the magazine

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I have never believed that story. Amusing as it is, it relies on Africans knowing 10 > 1 and I find that unlikely.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >picrel
      Iirc it’s fake but based in truth
      The real story is brits fighting zulus found some rifles like this

      Does anyone have that essay from some reddit pinko that was obsessed with debunking this story?

      If you look at pics from the Liberian Civil War (and a few other African conflicts from the pre-"mUh rAcIsM" era where the Associated Press sent people to get pics) you can actually find Africans with sights cranked up to "full power". Will share a few samples from my collection.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        In most of the pics, the various Africans just have their sights untouched. This particular piece of "lore" seems reserved from the kinds of "experienced" fighters (who you see in multiple photos) who mistakenly believe they are experts in their weapon system.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        https://i.imgur.com/cQVhH83.jpeg

        In most of the pics, the various Africans just have their sights untouched. This particular piece of "lore" seems reserved from the kinds of "experienced" fighters (who you see in multiple photos) who mistakenly believe they are experts in their weapon system.

        It doesn't matter what your sight is set to if you have zero intention of using it

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        https://i.imgur.com/cQVhH83.jpeg

        In most of the pics, the various Africans just have their sights untouched. This particular piece of "lore" seems reserved from the kinds of "experienced" fighters (who you see in multiple photos) who mistakenly believe they are experts in their weapon system.

        I see this image parroted over and over again time after time but naught in all my years have I ever seen a source... Op is gay.

        Great coincide Anon, I am posting some images.

        Original source is Soldier of Fortune magazine, by the way. Posted here:

        https://i.imgur.com/1A6O6xE.jpeg

        Original story from SoF

        You sort of have to search the depths of the AP and Getty images' archives to find examples of it, but there are examples out there.

        [...]
        It doesn't matter what your sight is set to if you have zero intention of using it

        Sure, but in this case these dudes are cranking this shit up thinking it will make the bullets fly harder (akin to pulling back harder on a slingshot).

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          With his duct-taped jungle magazines, weird paint job, and bizarre shooting technique (wrapping his sleeve around the stock???), this man seems to be under the wild impression that he's a weapons expert.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Black folk got at least a quarter a brain, he was smart enough to not just put his gat down whilst he got fricked up
            Also fun fact, Either I'm too baked or the nog on the left in pic related has the zeroing knob thing all the way to the front (it's blurry, but look how close it is to the furniture)

            • 3 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              See starting post of thread. This pic is one of a series of pics demonstrating the claim is real, despite what some gay Redditor wrote.

              >TL;DR some Africans misinterpreted Soviet military advisors telling them you set the AK to 10 to shoot at further targets, and assumed that increasing the number made the gun shoot harder (the white man is a moron for ever setting it to less than 10)

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                No shit sherlock, I'm just pointing out there may be evidence of it in a popular image that's been posted on here for years

  6. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >be me
    >26
    >join royal air force
    >pass oasc
    >dreamcometrue.jpg
    >signed on for 12 years
    >finish contract
    >sad
    >scol
    >POofficer offers me 5 year contract
    >£20k bonus
    >after persuasion i sign
    >find out they tax me first year
    >scared
    >begin to research
    >panic
    >wife finds out i signed 5 years for oly £50 a week
    >we divorce
    >miserable

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Heart breaking anon. I'm sorry 🙁

  7. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous
    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous
      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        One of the best stories I've seen on 4chin

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        I could go for some jiffy pop now

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      that one got a giggle outta me

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Checks out.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Here's the same thing not downscaled by some phoneposter, for those of us who enjoy not suffering from eye strain

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Thank you
        >elephants
        >monkey
        Thailand

  8. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Obligatory Sam O Nella Academy

    ?si=rdPAVuzp8DdyASy_

  9. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >Any war stories of extreme moronation?
    Here's a short one in visual form.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >jukes a ukie drone
      >drone loses power
      >doesnt run for it after being a statistical anomaly
      >throw rifle then stick
      >explode
      most folks would stay away from the thing thats trying to kill you

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        From his extreme lack of hand-eye coordination and general balance I'd say he was extremely drunk.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        I get wanting to kill it because it's basically a land mine at that point but there is a brick wall right next to it, destroy it from cover.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        I want to know why tf he didn't just stay back and shoot the fricker? lmao guy threw his fricking gun instead of shooting it.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Why do you think he had bullets?

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >stick
        It's an RPG-7

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous
    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >has rifle
      >throws it instead of shooting drone at a distance
      One can only wonder the through processes he having before his death

      >jukes a ukie drone
      >drone loses power
      >doesnt run for it after being a statistical anomaly
      >throw rifle then stick
      >explode
      most folks would stay away from the thing thats trying to kill you

      From his extreme lack of hand-eye coordination and general balance I'd say he was extremely drunk.

      I get wanting to kill it because it's basically a land mine at that point but there is a brick wall right next to it, destroy it from cover.

      checked

      I want to know why tf he didn't just stay back and shoot the fricker? lmao guy threw his fricking gun instead of shooting it.

      checked
      My fare gents, take a closer look at our an hero and ponder at his actions. Not only does he stagger about and sheepishly throws his service rifle at the murder drone, bur he also throws something else too. It’s no stick but instead an RPG. He threw an RPG launcher at an explosive drone.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >He threw an RPG launcher at an explosive drone

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I can understand the desire to ensure it stays down, but the execution was poor.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >standing beside a heap of rubble
      >has all the bricks and planks he could ever need to disable the drone with if he wants
      >does this instead

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous
  10. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Still lost though. Inb4 muh stabbed in the back.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Yeah the entire western world and the commies allying against your tiny country and you only lose 1 man per 20 subhumans is so embarrassing fr, No cap.
      South Africa is doing so much better without those crackers ruling them nowadays.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        lol cope homosexual
        the war would have ended with an atom bomb smashing into the reichstag had they had more success on the eastern front.

  11. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Story from Congo warriors
    >After a battle a couple mercenaries valiantly looked for survivors (free stuff) in the rubble of a blown out Belgian townhouse
    >they came across a painting that one of the mercenaries "sammy" was sure was a rare and valuable object
    >looting was a big no no that could get you court marshaled by the commander that got pissed about that sort of thing.
    >these 3 mercs came up with a grand plan, one would fake injury so he could get a bit of leave
    >the man would then sell the painting for tens of thousands of dollars and split the earnings on his return
    >after copious amounts of drinking they came to the conclusion that the injury needed to be real for their accidental truck accident injury story to work.
    >a fight broke out about who would be the sacrifice
    >Sammy got his arm broken and had to be taken to medical
    >all according to plan
    >Sammy hid the painting in his cast and took leave to New york city
    >after landing he bought a nice frame and went to an art gallery to sell his prize
    >art gallery told him it was a fake and they would give him 40 bucks for the frame
    >Sammy was heartbroken for a moment but then perked up again, he would get em next time
    Not exactly a war story but funny nonetheless, MIkes books are full of funny events.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Gotta love the indomitable spirit of looting

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        you should give his books a read, Mike has a great way of writing.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >hid the painting in his cast
      >offered 40 bux for the frame
      How the frick did he fit the frame in there?

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        literally the line after hiding it in his cast
        >after landing he bought a nice frame and went to an art gallery to sell his prize
        must suck to be a fricking moron like you

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Still doesn't explain how he fit it in the cast dumbo

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            You have worse reading comprehension skills than a black 2nd grader. He took the painting back with him in the cast then bought the frame to put t in then took it to the gallery.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            today this Black person learned that you can roll paintings up

  12. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    being a 3rd world tribal gunman is more of a vibe than a job description.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Great book. Finished it last week on a /k/ suggestion. Sort of peters out near the end is my only disappointment. And babur.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >And babur.

        🙁 pls don't remind me.

        I'd love to have a Afghan Mastiff/Central Asian Shepherd since my grandparents had a Newfoundland when I was a kid but my apartment is too small.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          The whole delivery was very matter of fact. I got the vibe he was tired of Afghanistan near the end, especially the pashtun fricks that kept threatening him.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Pashtuns usually have that effect. The part near the end where he spends the night in the Northern Alliance patrol base (when he meets the hazara guy who the taliban cut his toes off for not having a beard) and shares his MREs with them was pretty wholesome.

            https://i.imgur.com/S6F4DYm.png

            I guess an externally stored piss jug was not used because you don't want that getting caught on something if you have to eject at mach 2.5. iirc the SR-71 didn't have a capsule like the XB-70 or F-111 instead it just had a special 2 stage ejector seat with a drogue chute to slow the person down and shield them from the airflow (since it was in the base of the seat) then a main parachute once you got close to the ground that automatically deployed at a set altitude in the likely event you get knocked out from the force of the ejection or being spun like a beyblade from a fricky drogue deployment.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        What's the book? I'm looking for something to read and I can't find the source.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          NTA but its The Places In Between by Rory Stewart.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous
          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Thanks anon, ordering it today

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        His other book The Prince of the Marshes (about his time as a CPA governor in Iraq) is filled with moronation relevant to this thread. like this story from a contractor:

        >Either the Italians shoot anyone they can see .. or they do nothing. It's mayhem. I was just up there and this Sadr butthole runs towards us with an RPG and I shout to the Italian on the fifty-cal, "Shoot him." And the Italian does nothing. So the butthole shoots his tube. Wham. Smack into a Hesco blast wall .. The Iraqi runs back round the corner and then he reappears with another RPG .. I shout again at the Italian "Shoot him". Again the machine-gunner does nothing. The Iraqi releases another rocket, the grenade hits one of our vehicles. Bang. Vehicle up in flames. I run across the roof and I just fricking push the Italian off his gun .. And then I see the problem. The guy had stacked the sandbags so high around himself that his gun can only fire at a forty-five degree angle in the air

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Why are Shitalians so incompetent when it comes to war?

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            The problem is corruption and poverty historically. In WW2 their main problem other than having a large number of poorly motivated conscripts and quartermasters stealing shit was their horrific lack of industrial capability leading to them having to use tankettes as frontline armor in 1943 and having almost no good equipment.

            The Italian units that were actually highly trained like the Bersaglieri actually fought like devils until their logistics left them with no ammo and made an entire division surrender when attacked by 15 theatre lovies from the entertainment troop of the New Zealand army.

  13. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I don't have a war story of extreme moronation, but several years ago the Brazilian Navy managed to sink one of its own submarines after it submerged with one of its hatches open. Since this happened at port and the waters were relatively shallow, the whole thing was recovered and is now used as a stationary training vessel for new crews, doesn't venture out into the sea anymore.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      same thing happened to an indian submarine but i think they ended up scrapping the whole thing

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        It also happened to a Canadian sub. It was in the Irish Sea when some bright leaf decided the middle of a force 9 hurricane was the perfect time to conduct some minor repairs on an air vent that needed both hatches in the sail to be open. 500 gallons of water leaked into the sub and causing a massive metal fire in the battery compartment.

        The entire boat would have floundered and sunk along with most of the crew if it wasn't for a massive rescue operation from the British and Irish Navies. The LE Aoife was on scene commander of 10+ ships and a Royal Navy helicopter from one of the British frigates airlifted the wounded to an Irish hospital.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Holy shit when was this? Irishgay here, never heard of this. LE Aoife got Decommissioned ages ago so I presume it was a while back.

          I'd like to submit the fact that Tom Barry escaped from a hospital after discovering an undiagnosed heart defect to go back to removing black&tans. He was a maniac. Also Michael Collins wasn't what he was cracked up to be. Wasted other IRA brigades' weapons funds on pissups in Dublin, living large as a country boy in the big smoke. My source for that is The Ballycotton Job, great book in its own right.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          That was HMCS Chicoutimi (ex-HMS Upholder). One Lt(N) died. Ironically enough, that ship is the only RCN sub who conducted war patrols (in Korea). The CO who commanded her during the Korea patrol time was nicknamed Sideshow Bob because he wore size-16 shoes.

  14. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    bump

  15. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Not a war story but anyways. Irish man contacts British Aircraft carrier fleet of the Coast of Kerry and advises them to adjust course 10 degrees north. British Captain replies no sir, you adjust course 10 degrees south. Irish man again advises the British fleet to adjust course 10 degrees north.

    British Captain again replies no sir you adjust course 10 degrees south. We are an aircraft carrier fleet with several destroyers and will take necessary action so adjust course now!.

    Radio silence for a couple of minutes until Irish man replies, do your worst, I'm a lighthouse!

    Believe it or not a true story. Google it. Humiliating for that British Captain but his arrogance deserved it

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      boomer or indian?

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        its pretty clear what non-white ethnic group he is from based on where he edited the setting of the spanish-US carrier story to being set.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Idiot or Moran?

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          put me on your twitter screencap pajeet

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            okay Rajesh. Also it's the US Spanish incident that's fake you absolute imbecile

            • 3 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              calm down sir

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Not true, but popular.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      [...]

      >pure wow Euro
      >you're bloody bloody brain

      God I fricking hate Indians, disgusting little frickers. Something about the combination of supreme arrogance and the lack of competency on all levels, especially social, makes it all so much worse

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I have heard this story but it was with a galician and an american ship

  16. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    i'd argue this may actually be a form of genius

  17. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >picrel
    Iirc it’s fake but based in truth
    The real story is brits fighting zulus found some rifles like this

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Does anyone have that essay from some reddit pinko that was obsessed with debunking this story?

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        https://www.reddit.com/r/AskHistorians/comments/62afkz/saw_this_story_about_the_bush_war_on_my_fb_feed/

        found the magmum opus. tl:dr is that Zim rebels had training from the soviets/chinks (they even had trained tank crews) so they probably knew how guns worked also it sounds racist

        As someone who knows a lot about Afghanistan (I'm the anon who always makes effort posts about the afghan civil war) and a common lesson from that war is just because you have well trained and combat experienced troops in your ranks doesn't mean the guys in sandals got the memo about infantry training. As an example the 90s Taliban had Mig-21 fighters, working radars and even operational SAM sites by the time of the US invasion (that obviously got SEADed on day 1). The Taliban airforce acquitted itself well with air to air victories and ground directed interceptions even if it's air operations weren't as dramatic as some of the other factions like Jamiat-e Islami and Junbish-e Mili.

        Meanwhile most of the beardy jihadi talibs treated their professional communist trained colleagues like dirt, imprisoned them if they tried to voice their strategic opinion and very famously the Taliban leadership tried to make fighter pilots wear full islamic beards despite them needing to wear oxygen masks.

        https://i.imgur.com/aXGzMwg.jpeg

        [...]
        [...]

        If you look at pics from the Liberian Civil War (and a few other African conflicts from the pre-"mUh rAcIsM" era where the Associated Press sent people to get pics) you can actually find Africans with sights cranked up to "full power". Will share a few samples from my collection.

        Do you have the pic of Liberian Batman with the Sterling?

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Sorry to say I do not, Anon. The Liberian Civil War collections are fascinating, but they're massive. Thousands of images. You really have to wade through a lot of shit to find the insane, interesting stuff.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            oh well take an Afghan image that has Liberian vibes.

            It's not /k/ related at all but just before posting I saw a really funny comment on a Iranian zoomer YT video explaining that "Eliot Raajar" is the hero (same word used for slain mujaheddin) of the Incels and that Iranian incels get really mad at Afghan refugees stealing their women.

            • 3 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              I do have Liberian troop stories from my time in the US Army (they came over to train).

              >Be me
              >Newly promoted E-6 in a US SF Group (support dude, not a Green Beret)
              >Go to exercise at buttfrick National Guard base in middle America (this state's NG was doing a big exercise and they wanted some SF guys and cool foreign people to show up to make the exercise exciting).
              >There are a couple different foreign contingents
              >Liberian Army unit is the clear problem child
              >16 men led by Major P and Captain E
              >Major P is very fat, basically a commissar
              >Captain E went to Ranger School, is only actual competent Liberian
              >Major P just makes Captain E do all the work

              >ODA is teaching Liberians battle drills
              >Captain E sticks back with the ODA to observe offer critique alongside trainers
              >Battle drill 1A/2A
              >One Liberian element gets on line, second element goes around (Major P does not join them because he doesn't get dirty)
              >Second element does not flank, they instead form a mirroring line 200 meters away behind the objective
              >They start screaming in gibberish war chants, and bumrush the center. Absolutely no bounding or discipline
              >First element also starts screaming, and bumrushes the center
              >Both sides firing blanks as they ran towards each other, attempting to swarm the notional enemy
              >Major P looks proud, thinking this is a highly successfully assault
              >Captain E is horrified and embarrassed
              >18B is too stunned to say anything

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                I didn't go on the first op with the Liberians (was supporting a different ODA at the time during this exercise), I went out on their second and third ops.

                >Second op
                >ODA had pretty significant critique for the Liberians after all that training, try to teach them about shooting discipline, etc.
                >Liberians overinternalized the lesson on the first op, and absolutely none of them fired a shot
                >"It's okay to shoot targets"
                >Second op is clearing a village
                >Liberians have once again wildly pendulum swung the opposite direction, and are now unloading at every living person they see with blanks
                >Multiple accidental green on blues
                >Repeatedly shoot at the white cell
                >Most of the actual combatants end up getting picked off by one of the GBs with a scoped rifle

                >Third op
                >Supposed to be a massive long distance infil; helicopters (over hundreds of miles from camp) with a multi kilometer offset through woods at night
                >Team concludes it's unsafe to put the Liberians on a helicopter (let alone at night) as there's a solid chance they run into the tail rotor or something moronic
                >We end up all driving to the LZ in vans instead
                >Woods are not sparse
                >Literally the thickest fricking woods I've ever been in my entire life
                >Under NODs, sweaty, miserable
                >Takes us 1.5 hours to go a kilometer.
                >Get to clearing, get accountability
                >One of the Liberians has no helmet or NODs.
                >My heart fricking sinks
                >Thought of combing those woods for his NODs is legit in my top 5 scariest military moments
                >Nope, he just took his helmet off and decided to walk through the woods in pitch blackness instead
                >Assault ends up being three hours behind schedule
                >Thick woodline has made original rehearsed plan unfeasible
                >ODA does most of the work on the assault because they realize the Liberians will never be able to execute the hasty plan they came up with
                >Captain E still unhappy with his men's showing

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                I appreciate the stories. Could you share your other top 5 scariest moments?

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                In no particular order:
                >First time jumping out of a C-17. No idea why, was just the scariest fricking jump I've ever been on. The C-17 really shakes at 1200 feet, and it's just fantastically uncomfortable
                >Deployed, at relatively remote outstation in sandbox. Shit is going very sidewise politically in country we're in. Are told we have to ration food/water. Like the base had already gotten rocked by explosions before, but something about rationing food/water was way freakier.
                >On Korean DMZ at night time. Hear North Korean propaganda music in the woods (both sides use massive loudspeakers at do psyops at night). NK stuff sounds like spooky wailing in the distance. Has eerie, almost ghost-like quality.
                >At a training exercise at KTA in Hawaii, we found a dead pig strung up in the trees. Like a carcass just dumped over a branch (pic related). There were weird stick things (like something out of the Blair Witch Project there). At night, one of the female PFCs is doing stupid duckface shit on snapchat, and sends it to someone else. The recipient tells her to GTFO. In the morning, we check the video and deadass see a pair of eyes behind her (honestly was probably a wild boar). But being out there in the woods at night was fricking freaky after that.

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                Boar story is spooky as hell
                >something about rationing food/water was way freakier
                A fed soldier is a happy one. Cheers for the follow up

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                The rationing also made danger feel more palpable. We were never quite close to running out of either, just trying to make what we had last. But it shattered a certain sense of invincibility. If I could order shit on Amazon and get it delivered to our dinky little outstation, it felt like we always had a lifeline no matter how remote we were.

                The fact that we were suddenly on our own, with no possibility of resupply in the immediate future, changed the dynamic. We were on our own in very dire country, badly outnumber by some hostile forces who weren't that far away...

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                >We were on our own in very dire country, badly outnumber by some hostile forces who weren't that far away...

                Reminds me of the Roman Legionnaires that were butchered while hunkered down for the winter in Gaul. One by one, outpost by outpost, come spring Caesar lost nearly a god damned legion worth of men. Each outpost close enough to maybe get a warning to the next but unable to meaningfully escape or reinforce. Just waiting for thousands of extremely pissed proto-frogs to besiege your ramshackle little fort.

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                As someone with German ancestry it makes me smile to know my ancestors BTFO some guido fricks squatting in their hood.

                Every time someone tries to conquer Germans they just come back even harder.

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                Germany will destroy Europe (including Germany). It cannot be stopped. It can only be postponed.

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                German is the catalyst for human advancement, always has been. Every time they create a "problem" people are forced to come together to devise complex solutions resulting in magnificent leaps in technology. If it weren't for German aggression in WW1 there would be no WW2, no assault rifles, no tanks, no rockets, no nukes, no space programs, etc.

                Next time you meet a German, just nod and say thank you.

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                >We have barred the gates, but cannot hold them for long
                >The ground shakes
                >Hons
                >Hons in the deep
                >We cannot get out...

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                *to do psyops at night.

                Brain fart. Another picture of the dead boar.

                The story has no closure or rational explanation, which has always made it freakier in my mind. We just had to suck it up and spend 10 freak nights in those woods lol.

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                >.
                >>On Korean DMZ at night time. Hear North Korean propaganda music in the woods (both sides use massive loudspeakers at do psyops at night). NK stuff sounds like spooky wailing in the distance. Has eerie, almost ghost-like quality.

                reminds me of that video of the propaganda music being played in Pyongyang where the reel to real tape stretched had gotten stretched making it sound spooky

                I actually saw something similar to that boar once in the scottish highlands which was a rotting red deer stag hanging 10 feet up from a tree branch by a river. I thought I'd seen some shit from Dog Soldiers but I talked to a local and there was a crazy once in generation flood on that river and it probably was deposited from the water.

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                https://i.imgur.com/Z6EEgay.jpeg

                *to do psyops at night.

                Brain fart. Another picture of the dead boar.

                The story has no closure or rational explanation, which has always made it freakier in my mind. We just had to suck it up and spend 10 freak nights in those woods lol.

                >dead boar
                Does Hawaii have any big cats? I know mountain lions, and probably other big cats, will drag carcasses up trees.

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                of combing those woods for his NODs is legit in my top 5 scariest military moments
                I would have contemplated just killing myself tbh fampai

                https://i.imgur.com/H8etyTC.jpeg

                >We were on our own in very dire country, badly outnumber by some hostile forces who weren't that far away...

                Reminds me of the Roman Legionnaires that were butchered while hunkered down for the winter in Gaul. One by one, outpost by outpost, come spring Caesar lost nearly a god damned legion worth of men. Each outpost close enough to maybe get a warning to the next but unable to meaningfully escape or reinforce. Just waiting for thousands of extremely pissed proto-frogs to besiege your ramshackle little fort.

                of all the war movies I've seen, the the build up in this scene is the only one to have ever triggered a response

                not a war story but postan contribution

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                What is the name of the movie?

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                Wind river

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                The stuff about the officers rings very true with stories I've heard from ISAF guys and people working with the Iraqi army.

                My only experience with regional allies is when I went on a course with some Omani Air Force NCOs. They spoke passable english and were pretty switched on guys about engineering (iirc they had already been trained in Oman by RAF SEPKOT Jaguar OCU maintainers) but it took them a solid 2 weeks to go from being devout Ibadis always observing prayers to eating bacon sandwiches at lunch.

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                Had two foreign officers at airborne school when I went. A Lebanese officer (who was really solid) and a Saudi Captain (who was an absolute dipshit). The Saudi Captain was apparently on his third attempt at airborne school and was a jump refusal, but his government kept paying the money/I'm sure he was connected so he kept getting recycled (even though a jump refusal is normally an NTR). He claimed he hadn't been issued any PT uniform so he showed up in designed gym clothes to PT every morning. The Saudi government had BOUGHT him a car for the trip, and were putting him in a fancy hotel for the entirety of his trip. He was arrogant, and very unlikeable.

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                >even though a jump refusal is normally an NTR
                They frick your girl for that? Harsh

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                >be me, inna Saudi Arabia working the night shift at Prince Sultan
                >frequently have to drive across base from the American side to the Saudi flightline
                >one of the enlisted Saudi MPs that is always working the gate surprisingly speaks really good english, also looks like an ethnic Arab instead of the mystery meat sudanese/pajeet slaves that are mostly in the military
                >he always invites me into the guard shack for tea and bread with his troops whenever I drive by
                >start talking to him, turn out he's the son of some high up armaco executive and was "suggested" by his family to join the military as it's some sort of tradition
                >bro why the frick are you stuck guarding a gate literally in the middle of the desert at midnight
                >he says he gave a fat bribe to the recruiter to put him there, since every other job was deploying to Yemen which was a death sentence in those days
                >he goes on to tell me about how he flies out Instagram thots to piss on
                >if you see a woman on the internet posting pictures in the middle east by themselves, they're getting dicked down by some fat oil baron

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                >gate duty in the middle of the night in the middle of the desert
                Seems pretty chill to me; just about the quietest job you could ever get

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                >if you see a woman on the internet posting pictures in the middle east by themselves, they're getting dicked down by some fat oil baron
                common knowledge at this point.
                along with getting shat on, eating shit, sucking dick of said oil baron, his dog or his camel

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                I didn't go on the first op with the Liberians (was supporting a different ODA at the time during this exercise), I went out on their second and third ops.

                >Second op
                >ODA had pretty significant critique for the Liberians after all that training, try to teach them about shooting discipline, etc.
                >Liberians overinternalized the lesson on the first op, and absolutely none of them fired a shot
                >"It's okay to shoot targets"
                >Second op is clearing a village
                >Liberians have once again wildly pendulum swung the opposite direction, and are now unloading at every living person they see with blanks
                >Multiple accidental green on blues
                >Repeatedly shoot at the white cell
                >Most of the actual combatants end up getting picked off by one of the GBs with a scoped rifle

                >Third op
                >Supposed to be a massive long distance infil; helicopters (over hundreds of miles from camp) with a multi kilometer offset through woods at night
                >Team concludes it's unsafe to put the Liberians on a helicopter (let alone at night) as there's a solid chance they run into the tail rotor or something moronic
                >We end up all driving to the LZ in vans instead
                >Woods are not sparse
                >Literally the thickest fricking woods I've ever been in my entire life
                >Under NODs, sweaty, miserable
                >Takes us 1.5 hours to go a kilometer.
                >Get to clearing, get accountability
                >One of the Liberians has no helmet or NODs.
                >My heart fricking sinks
                >Thought of combing those woods for his NODs is legit in my top 5 scariest military moments
                >Nope, he just took his helmet off and decided to walk through the woods in pitch blackness instead
                >Assault ends up being three hours behind schedule
                >Thick woodline has made original rehearsed plan unfeasible
                >ODA does most of the work on the assault because they realize the Liberians will never be able to execute the hasty plan they came up with
                >Captain E still unhappy with his men's showing

                >Final op of the exercise
                >Final op is a massive assault on a full size MOUT town. All foreign troops and all ODAs are participating. Hundreds of people in the assault
                >Liberians are not at all involved in the planning (their foreign counterparts are)
                >ODA needs someone to babysit the Liberians while the prep work gets done.
                >Pick me, an E-6 with 33 days time in rank, to babysit 16 Liberians
                >Very obvious how the ODA views Major P's rank, since they're having a junior Staff Sergeant be his American counterpart
                >Talk to Major P. Not a bad dude, just a shit soldier and leader
                >Talk to Captain E. Dude knows his tactics. While his face has been giving away his embarrassment, he still speaks highly of his guys and their motivation
                >Eventually planning is complete, go do my own mission prep
                >Liberians are given least autonomy of any foreign partners; completely managed by US forces the entire op

                >Mission ends, we win the war, etc.
                >Major P lines his dudes up in two ranks as everybody else is doffing gear
                >Liberians do a warrior chant and dance. It's actually pretty cool

                The Liberians ended up coming to a similar NG exercise in another state a few months later. It was pretty much a repeat of the last exercise, with the exception that the Liberians were constantly beating off in the tents and left a bunch of jizz all over the cots they were sleeping in.

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                I didn't go on the first op with the Liberians (was supporting a different ODA at the time during this exercise), I went out on their second and third ops.

                >Second op
                >ODA had pretty significant critique for the Liberians after all that training, try to teach them about shooting discipline, etc.
                >Liberians overinternalized the lesson on the first op, and absolutely none of them fired a shot
                >"It's okay to shoot targets"
                >Second op is clearing a village
                >Liberians have once again wildly pendulum swung the opposite direction, and are now unloading at every living person they see with blanks
                >Multiple accidental green on blues
                >Repeatedly shoot at the white cell
                >Most of the actual combatants end up getting picked off by one of the GBs with a scoped rifle

                >Third op
                >Supposed to be a massive long distance infil; helicopters (over hundreds of miles from camp) with a multi kilometer offset through woods at night
                >Team concludes it's unsafe to put the Liberians on a helicopter (let alone at night) as there's a solid chance they run into the tail rotor or something moronic
                >We end up all driving to the LZ in vans instead
                >Woods are not sparse
                >Literally the thickest fricking woods I've ever been in my entire life
                >Under NODs, sweaty, miserable
                >Takes us 1.5 hours to go a kilometer.
                >Get to clearing, get accountability
                >One of the Liberians has no helmet or NODs.
                >My heart fricking sinks
                >Thought of combing those woods for his NODs is legit in my top 5 scariest military moments
                >Nope, he just took his helmet off and decided to walk through the woods in pitch blackness instead
                >Assault ends up being three hours behind schedule
                >Thick woodline has made original rehearsed plan unfeasible
                >ODA does most of the work on the assault because they realize the Liberians will never be able to execute the hasty plan they came up with
                >Captain E still unhappy with his men's showing

                https://i.imgur.com/DWvpkec.jpeg

                [...]

                >Final op of the exercise
                >Final op is a massive assault on a full size MOUT town. All foreign troops and all ODAs are participating. Hundreds of people in the assault
                >Liberians are not at all involved in the planning (their foreign counterparts are)
                >ODA needs someone to babysit the Liberians while the prep work gets done.
                >Pick me, an E-6 with 33 days time in rank, to babysit 16 Liberians
                >Very obvious how the ODA views Major P's rank, since they're having a junior Staff Sergeant be his American counterpart
                >Talk to Major P. Not a bad dude, just a shit soldier and leader
                >Talk to Captain E. Dude knows his tactics. While his face has been giving away his embarrassment, he still speaks highly of his guys and their motivation
                >Eventually planning is complete, go do my own mission prep
                >Liberians are given least autonomy of any foreign partners; completely managed by US forces the entire op

                >Mission ends, we win the war, etc.
                >Major P lines his dudes up in two ranks as everybody else is doffing gear
                >Liberians do a warrior chant and dance. It's actually pretty cool

                The Liberians ended up coming to a similar NG exercise in another state a few months later. It was pretty much a repeat of the last exercise, with the exception that the Liberians were constantly beating off in the tents and left a bunch of jizz all over the cots they were sleeping in.

                Man imagine being that captain, liberian or his equivalent in other thirdie militaries
                >intelligent, motivated, competent
                >clearly worked hard through his life to be the guy they send to train in the west
                >train in the west, get to see with your own eyes the best of military strategy and operations
                >dream of bringing it back home and making your country stronger with this knowledge
                >your countrymen are all either mongoloid morons or corrupt bastards neither of which has any interest or ability in improving the state of the military
                >weep internally

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                If you are Mali, your name is Amadou Sanogo, and you say "Frick it", start a coup, and take over the country.

                Happens more often than you think...

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                https://i.imgur.com/WpxfNGS.jpeg

                If you are Mali, your name is Amadou Sanogo, and you say "Frick it", start a coup, and take over the country.

                Happens more often than you think...

                A lot of african warlords and dictators are surprisingly well educated. Like degrees from oxford or harvard and not just undergrads too. Maybe seizing power and becoming a corrupt fatso is just the next logical choice when your society is dysfunctional

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                >>18B is too stunned to say anything
                Shock-and-awe baby

            • 3 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              Balky!
              Its me Larry!

              ROCK THE CASBAH
              ROCK THE CASBAH

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      There were a couple mentions in Like Lions They Fought about the Zulus doing that

  18. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous
  19. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    From SAS Operation Gain (Originally supposed to be Operation Cain but was corrupted in transmission kek)
    "At first Operation Gain lived up to its name, as the squadron launched a series of successful sabotage missions against rail lines and attacked a motorized patrol. Scouts who spoke French were sent out on bicycles in civilian clothes to explore and report back on German troop movements. Occasionally they got too close. One Lieutenant Anderson headed off for an evening ride through the French countryside:

    All went well and I was enjoying myself fine until just as I was passing three Jerry soldiers, who were out walking, the pump fell from my bike, engaged itself in the chain, and I went head over heels, hit the deck, and then the bike hit me. I let go one mouthful: "Frick me you bastard." Suddenly I remembered the Jerries and when I saw them walking towards me, I immediately started to curse in French but all the time thinking I had had it. However, they just laughed, helped me pick up my bike, and off I went, pedalling like hell."

  20. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    ?feature=shared

    Sharing this here for threadly enjoyment, I think this one is best told in video format

  21. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >I mean something so moronic I could hardly believe what I'm reading
    Anything happening in Ukraine and Russia.

  22. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    An excerpt from Storm of Steel:

    "About the same time a N.C.O. of the 6th Company, whom I knew well and whose brother had been killed a few days before, was fatally injured by a ‘ toffee-apple ’ which he had picked up. He had unscrewed the fuse, and observing that the powder was smouldering he put the end of his cigarette into the opening. Of course, the ‘ toffee-apple ’ exploded and wounded him in over fifty places. In ways like this we were continually suffering losses through the carelessness that comes from constantly having to do with explosives. Lieutenant Pook was an uncomfortable neighbour for this reason. He inhabited a lonely dugout in a tangle of trenches behind the left flank, and there he had shepherded together a number of enormous duds. He occupied himself unscrewing their fuses and then examining them. I always gave this uncomfortable dwelling a wide berth whenever I had to pass by it."

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      > Lieutenant Pook was an uncomfortable neighbour for this reason. He inhabited a lonely dugout in a tangle of trenches behind the left flank, and there he had shepherded together a number of enormous duds. He occupied himself unscrewing their fuses and then examining them. I always gave this uncomfortable dwelling a wide berth whenever I had to pass by it."
      >Characters that are literally (you)

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Kek the fuse guy is one of the most memorable parts of the book for me; I always wondered if he survived

  23. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous
    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Fricking hell

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      the ARRSE wiki is completely dead now but it used to be very funny

      >The danger wank is an ideal way of passing the time during the death stag slot [early morning guard duty]. You can also liven things up by simply calling the sentry into the CP for a hot brew (via his radio) just as you are naked and approaching the vinegar stroke. This provides an an amusing distraction from the exercise, and in no time at all you'll be the talk of the squadron... if not the entire regiment. Wear a respirator for extra effect.

      >Once there was a whole body of slang based on Hindi, Urdu and Arabic words thanks to the generations of squaddies stationed in India and other parts of the Empire pre-1947. Now most of it's gone - but buckshee [hoarded/stolen webbing/equipment] is still going strong. Other examples are Char [tea], Bint [woman], Wallah [native servant] and Dhobi [washing] (as in Hoop Dhobeys [homosexual rimming]).

      The funniest page is probably the one giving people tips on how to do Stolen Valor

      >Nothing turns heads like an operator switching effortlessly between his native tongue and some Johnny Foreign jibber-jabber
      >By far the easiest faux language is Arabic, as there's so many different dialects that even the Arabs haven't a clue who's saying what. A weekend listening to the BBC World Service should be enough for you to get the feel of your chosen tongue, and you'll soon be arguing in the kebab shop fluently. The kebab shop owner will think you're taking the piss and argue back (albeit in his own native tongue and quite possibly violently) which only adds to the authenticity.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >A weekend listening to the BBC World Service should be enough for you to get the feel of your chosen tongue, and you'll soon be arguing in the kebab shop fluently. The kebab shop owner will think you're taking the piss and argue back (albeit in his own native tongue and quite possibly violently) which only adds to the authenticity.
        I didn't know Peter Griffin was a fake spec ops https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t30JzS0LHpk

  24. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    that time the US invaded a foreign country, with a so-called "experienced" foreign policy cabinent, who then immediately ~~*delegated*~~ the planning to the incompetent fricking morons in existence,called the CPA, and in their brilliant ~~*wisdom*~~ in full knowledge of "experienced" foreign policy advisors, in a country where 80% of the country was employed by the government and military, virtually fired every abled bodied man in the country 18-45 who knows how to operate firearm in the country with one of the highest per capita gun ownership (full automatic gun ownership ,imd you) in the entire world
    there was an insurgency
    >surprise pikachu face
    anyone who talks about "foreign policy experience" being a qualifier is a fricking moron

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      it was planned, so zionists can get their forever war

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      thats unfair anon. I have it on good authority that Paul Bremer could count to at least 10

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      It was so poorly handled that it had to have been on purpose.

  25. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    SR-71 pilot

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >cousin was in the navy
      >tells me of a time where one of his compatriots got blackout drunk on shore one night
      >tried to make his way back to the ship
      >vomiting and pissing all over himself
      >somehow gets aboard a shipping container vessel and passes out
      >wakes up the next morning to discover he’s several miles offshore and on the wrong boat

  26. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >Any war stories of extreme moronation?
    I remember reading that the americans got wind that the japanese navy had headed out to the ocean because the harbor master was being informed by regular unencrypted radio whos leaving and whos arriving, what a brain fart

  27. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous
  28. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Admiral Graf Spee died in a naval battle against the British off the coast of Argentina in December of 1914, in the early months of WW1.

    The Germans named a Deutschland-class cruiser after him, the Admiral Graf Spee, which was destroyed in a naval battle against the British off the coast of Argentina in December of 1939, in the early months of WW2.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >Admiral Graf Spee died in a naval battle against the British off the coast of Argentina in December of 1914, in the early months of WW1.
      >The Germans named a Deutschland-class cruiser after him, the Admiral Graf Spee, which was destroyed in a naval battle against the British off the coast of Argentina in December of 1939, in the early months of WW2.
      There's something neato about real-life examples of pottery

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      https://i.imgur.com/YeH84Pm.gif

      >Admiral Graf Spee died in a naval battle against the British off the coast of Argentina in December of 1914, in the early months of WW1.
      >The Germans named a Deutschland-class cruiser after him, the Admiral Graf Spee, which was destroyed in a naval battle against the British off the coast of Argentina in December of 1939, in the early months of WW2.
      There's something neato about real-life examples of pottery

      Similar poetic tragedy.
      >Rear Admiral Horace Hood (One of many in his family throughout Royal Navy history)
      >Died aboard HMS Invincible
      >Battlecruiser which went down at Jutland due to a magazine detonation from a German shell
      >Years later, his widow christens a new battlecruiser- named in honor of those previously mentioned Royal Navy men
      >HMS Hood

  29. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    How about Fort Douaumont
    >French build a fort, pretty good one at that
    >Oh shit Belgian forts are getting facefricked by German big guns
    >Strip the fort of everything that isn't nailed down because the place is a deathtrap
    >place is left with barely a skeleton crew and a handful of fixed guns
    >10 Germans waltz up to the joint unopposed
    >take the fort, only casuality was a scraped knee
    It might be a good time to mention Douaumont could survive the German groß neigger artillery that flattened the Belgian defenses
    >France shits bricks and tries to retake the fort
    >lo and behold they made a really good fort and taking it back would be really hard
    >when all seemed hopeless a massive explosion rocked the fort
    >wasn't a French gun that did it
    >it was a fire inside that set off an ammunition cache
    >allegedly set off by someone burning flamethrower fuel to make coffee
    >soot covered Germans ran back to their lines for help
    >get shot, mistaken for French colonial soldiers
    The icing on the cake is, after months of shelling from railway guns and assorted artillery the French retook the fort. However by that point it had been so thoroughly bombed to hell and back it was practically indefensible

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >The icing on the cake is, after months of shelling from railway guns and assorted artillery the French retook the fort. However by that point it had been so thoroughly bombed to hell and back it was practically indefensible

      The front had also moved so much that the fort was in an irrelevant location.

  30. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Similar story from mike hoare.
    >Belgian peacekeepers would use blanks to engage rioters before they abandoned the place
    >black insurgents interpret this as meaning that they had divine protection turning the white man bullets into water.
    >mercenaries show up to do what the Belgians couldn't.
    >mercenaries are using real bullets.
    >insurgents charge them screaming "mai mulele"
    >mulele was an insurgent leader, say they were saying the equivalent of "praise obama"
    >their magic invocation doesn't work, white mans bullets remain quite real
    >massive losses.
    This was either the congo or katanga, cant remember which one but hoare was involved in all of those wars.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      happened in both the congo and when katanga was (far too) briefly not part of congo.
      the mercenaries where also mostly former belgian soldiers sent in by the belgian government so they didn't have to do anything to official
      post independence congo was a magical, weird and horrifying place

  31. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >run aground nuclear submarine in neutral country's super island rich shore
    >don't even try to communicate with them as they start to surround you with all sorts of boats and other equipment

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >claim the grounding was caused by navigation error
      >claim you had no idea where you were and only accidentally ran aground a couple miles away from a massive Swedish navy base
      >claim that the sub isn't carrying nukes, while the swedes take radiation measurements from the outside and confirm the presence of nukes
      >sail a fleet of destroyers and frigates towards the scene and threaten to take the sub back by force
      >broadcast radar jamming signal at the Swedish coastal defense guns
      >b***h out and retreat when the Swedes switch their coastal gun ballistic radars to war mode which you can't jam, and they buzz your ships with jets carrying anti-ship missiles
      This whole affair was a fricking farce.
      But it did lead to some funny moments, such as the Swedish military police had to arrest an 80-something year old man in a rowboat armed with a shotgun because he intended to single-handedly assault and capture the sub.
      Also the part where Soviets refused to negotiate without having drinks first, and the Swedes spitting the drinks out because the wienertails were industrial alcohol mixed with fruit juice. This offended the Soviets greatly and nearly ended the negotiations before they had begun.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        What's worse is that even if the Soviets did go full monke they probably would not have been able to capture the Sub without having to nuke Sweden. Even modern Swedish shore defenses are too tough for Russia, let alone peak cold war Sweden with autistic levels of prep.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >What's worse is that even if the Soviets did go full monke they probably would not have been able to capture the Sub without having to nuke Sweden.

          I've expended some no small autism when it comes to this in CMO and the answer is the soviets would have to start a full scale war to get that submarine out by force if Sweden stormed it. If the Sweden airforce was already at a war footing and at dispersal bases then they would be almost immune to to being destroyed on the ground and would have conducted hundreds of AShM and bombing sorties against soviet ships not to mention ground based coastal guns and missile batteries which there were loads of around Stockholm.

          iirc there were already Viggens airborne with live RB-15s ready to attack soviet vessels after Thorbjörn Fälldin gave his famous "Protect the Border" order to the head of the Swedish armed forces.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Now I want an RTS game about this scenario

            • 3 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              Ask Grim Reapers to set one up?

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Even if they got close to the coast in spite of all that they'd have to contend with
            >assloads of tight islands and dangerously shallow waters
            >troops that can just islandhop and ambush, especially since the aerial recon would be trash thanks LOL russians
            >nets of mines completely blocking off most of the coast
            And while they'd try to make it through that they'd also get bombed and missiled by the relatively large air force. A northern invasion through Finland would also not solve anything because they'd have to pass Finland AND THEN march like 1500km down into southern sweden through a fighting environment their forces were never built for.

            • 3 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              I've always been of the opinion that the greatest mistake we ever made in the cold war was not stopping for a second and realising how much of an apoplectic clusterfrick the soviet union trying to invade NATO et Allies' territory would have been (ignoring nukes and assuming only conventional forces are used).

              Am I wrong for thinking this? The clankening and the current ukrainian war has definitely led me to believe the russian, and by extension soviet, armed forces have been plagued by not merely material shortages, but rather profound doctrinal, psychological and cultural deficiencies that would have made it utterly impossible to function to a level threatening to NATO in open warfare. Thoughts?

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                Ignoring the USSR vs. NATO scenario entirely, the Soviet Union would beat the shit out of the modern day Russian military, and not just because of their numerical advantage.

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                The equipment would be newer, for one thing

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                The USSR has six reasons to be stronger than current day Russia, in scenarios that would pit it against current day Ukraine, Russia, NATO, or Cold War Era NATO:
                1) its kit was much newer. The Soviets literally had the same tanks, aircraft, BMPs, ships etc, except that they hadn't spent the last 30 years rusting away.
                2) Less corruption. Of course, corruption was present, but colonels and generals couldn't buy themselves villas in Spain or Lamborghinis without getting violently purged.
                3) The Baltics, Ukraine, Belarus had the highest rates of higher education of the USSR, which means that the USSR would have a higher rate of functional officers and specialists (SAM operators, pilots, etc) in their armed forces.
                4) The Soviet military industry was running at wartime rates for the entirety of the Cold War, which ruined them in the long run, but in the case of a war, it would mean that they get a steady supply of ammunition, weapons and vehicles.
                5) There was a 20 year gap with little to no military research and development after the fall of the USSR, which allows Western stuff like the F-35 to be some sort of Space Magic™ compared to modern Russian kit. That was after the end of the USSR, though. Before 1991, NATO still has the technological edge over the Warsaw Pact, but it isn't as important as it is now.
                6) Numbers. More people, more hardware (AFVs, planes etc hadn't been shared between post-Soviet states yet), and their shit hadn't been pawned off to India or African states yet. For example, the USSR could field 5 aircraft carriers, at a moment in its history.

                In other words, the USSR of 1990, 1985 or, I'd even dare to say, 1975, would mop the floor with current day Russia. And Ukraine, too. And then, it would proceed to get roflstomped by NATO (cf. "Space Magic ™), but would still be more of a challenge than monke's Russia.

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                Yeah, against NATO (Cold War or Current) the USSR would probably hold out initially due to its sheer military "weight" but once NATO locks in properly in either scenario it'll be able to whittle down the USSR kind of easily.
                I think the main issue for the USSR is not necessarily that it's disadvantaged soley in military power- it's that NATO would overmatch it enough that the Russian SSR, which basically vassalizes the other SSRs into the USSR, may straight up face betrayal by other SSRs who see a chance to break free. Best examples being stuff like the Baltics, Poland or Hungary.
                A fight against a smaller neutral country like Sweden (like in the original scenario) is not an existential threat to the USSR even if they lose, but it's also not economical to win unless they can somehow get close enough with a large army to do it which involves jumping through several AIDS hurdles or equalizing military power by trying to ram a massive navy into a coast that's just an island jungle (see pic rel). And that's before any kind of international support is considered.

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                >There was a 20 year gap with little to no military research and development after the fall of the USSR, which allows Western stuff like the F-35 to be some sort of Space Magic™ compared to modern Russian kit.
                You know the funniest part? The western research in that time was just grift. There's no adversary so let's make our weapons cost an arm and leg. The result is visible to all in the Red Square.

                The West was handed a 20 year lead over Russia and squandered it pandering to israeli greed. Both Russia and China can easily see 'stealth"

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                >The West was handed a 20 year lead over Russia and squandered it pandering to israeli greed. Both Russia and China can easily see 'stealth'
                ...According to themselves, which is not reliable evidence at all.

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                you are brown

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                6.5) Demographics. Modern Russia had a massive decline in births in the 1990s that only began to pick back up in the mid-2000s as Russia recovered from the horrific decline of the post-Cold War Era.

                It's an interesting time in Russian history, as Russia embarks on a massive protracted war despite having a huge shortage of men in prime fighting age. Ukraine also has a similar problem (suffering a similar population bust), but when comparing Russia to the comparative strengths of the USSR the demographic hole is more noticeable.

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                >Soviet Union invades modern Russia through a time portal
                I want to see this anime

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                Fund it!

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                >2) Less corruption. Of course, corruption was present, but colonels and generals couldn't buy themselves villas in Spain or Lamborghinis without getting violently purged.
                This can’t be highlighted enough. Soviet Union had tons of small-scale corruption everywhere, but the elite class lived downright modest lives when compared to the current parasitic elite class that drains billions and billions to their private offshore accounts. Also, the system had far more true believers who had interest in keeping shit running, while modern Russia is an ideologically dead hellhole in comparison.

                Not saying this as some Soviet Union fanboy, I sure as frick wouldn’t have wanted to live there, but the point is that the system was oriented towards military prowess and procurement first and all else second, while in modern Russia the free-for-all grabfest comes before all else.

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                >Also, the system had far more true believers who had interest in keeping shit running,
                This is also true of modern china fyi

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                The USSR was a whole different beast from Russia.
                Russia is fighting with mostly ancient relics from the USSR era, they're like barbarians wearing Roman armor and tearing down the Colosseum to build houses.

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                The USSR was absolutely capable of threatening and overrunning NATO, even up to 1989, because NATOs strategic plan was to contain Soviet forces in Europe and the Soviet Far East using Germany, China, and Japan as meat shields while American air and sea power gradually wore down Soviet combat ability.
                To the extent that NATO could be overrun in Europe: 100% possible. To the extent that NATO would take the Soviet conquest of Europe lying down: 0%

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                To build on this, if the Soviets were willing to accept horrendous losses from NATO air power and prepared defensive lines, then they could drive as far as the English Channel before a non-nuclear American response could affect them; Soviet air defenses were designed for denial and are still halfway decent. The big issue with a Soviet assault is that once they invade West Germany, they're also needing to fight all over the Baltic Sea, the Black Sea, the Sea of Japan, and probably the entire Chinese border.
                That being said, the real threat is the complete diplomatic and geopolitical isolation the Soviets will face as they'll be cut off from every single nation they don't share a direct border with, and the Americans will knock over allied regimes one by one while keeping the pressure up on all fronts

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                >and are still halfway decent
                Ah yes the Soviet air defences that misidentify airliners as jet fighters and are being routinely demolished by airborne attacks.

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                To build on this, if the Soviets were willing to accept horrendous losses from NATO air power and prepared defensive lines, then they could drive as far as the English Channel before a non-nuclear American response could affect them; Soviet air defenses were designed for denial and are still halfway decent. The big issue with a Soviet assault is that once they invade West Germany, they're also needing to fight all over the Baltic Sea, the Black Sea, the Sea of Japan, and probably the entire Chinese border.
                That being said, the real threat is the complete diplomatic and geopolitical isolation the Soviets will face as they'll be cut off from every single nation they don't share a direct border with, and the Americans will knock over allied regimes one by one while keeping the pressure up on all fronts

                The USSR was absolutely capable of threatening and overrunning NATO, even up to 1989, because NATOs strategic plan was to contain Soviet forces in Europe and the Soviet Far East using Germany, China, and Japan as meat shields while American air and sea power gradually wore down Soviet combat ability.
                To the extent that NATO could be overrun in Europe: 100% possible. To the extent that NATO would take the Soviet conquest of Europe lying down: 0%

                Is this the same state-of-the-art Soviet air defense that protected Bagdad in 1991?

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                Yeah. It's also the same air defense that Ukraine and Russia are using to cuck each other's air forces.
                Really, if you're going to use Arabs to shit in Soviet gear you need to shit on the US gear they frick up with too

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                Except when soviet pilots used soviet planes to show the arabs how to defeat the evil western technology they were annihilated by the israelis.

                I'm so tired of this shit.

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                The United States did not have the precision guided munitions that were a key component of desert storm for most of the Cold War. They would have been using in most cases WWII style dumb bombs, many of them manufactured during the early 40s and left to decay.

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                >russian, and by extension soviet, armed forces have been plagued by not merely material shortages, but rather profound doctrinal, psychological and cultural deficiencies that would have made it utterly impossible to function to a level threatening to NATO in open warfare.
                They were paranoid of NATO attacking them. It was a hosed-up place for sure and the system was highly repressive to their own people, turned them into mincemeat if they got out of line, and told lies all the time, and it wasn't sustainable; but the society and the leadership was deeply traumatized by WWII, and Cold War propaganda that presents them as Red Alert 2 villains doesn't give an accurate picture of how the Soviets saw themselves or their place in the world. Like there was never a nuclear war hysteria there, children weren't taught to hide under their desks or anything like that. There was a strong feeling that the last war was so terrible that there wouldn't be another one. The Cold War was really a propaganda war and both sides used a lot of it, trying to prove their side was right, their ideology, their ideals. It takes two to tango.

                The average Russian in American propaganda is kind of like the broadcaster for Soviet T.V. news in Airplane! That's the image. Short, fat, stodgy, with a strong accent, dresses badly, and just says "ze party has told us to do this." Thing is, there were people who were kind of like this, but the Soviets were really bad at propaganda and Yuri Bezmenov was telling tall tales, it was really only in the 30s when Soviet propaganda resonated with Americans outside of fringe communist newspapers but most of the time it had no effect because Americans usually don't care about what's going on in the rest of the world. The Soviets wised up in the 80s and sent Vladimir Pozner (who grew up in the U.S.) to represent them on Nightline because he could speak in American "language." Pretty interesting:

                ?si=6kHsb9RBfzWQ52F2&t=2440

  32. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    During the Japanese invasion of the Phillippines the US Army deployed US Navy personnel in full dress whites to the front and it freaked the Japsanese out. They thought the sheer moronation of the seamen was a trap

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >freaked the Japsanese out. They thought the sheer moronation of the seamen was a trap
      I would have reacted in the same way. That shit is way too suspicious.

  33. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I can tell you this is not fake. Sadly the picture was lost on an old phone but I can tell you that in the Carter presidential library in Atlanta, there is an AK on display that was gifted to him by an African warlord and the rear sight is maxed out. You can go there and see for yourself.

  34. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous
    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      This one didn't actually happen - it's 100% apocryphal BS

  35. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous
  36. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >mayor of major city
    >make municipal services to separately bid for radio system, to save money
    >no service has the ability to communicate with eachother because they have seperate radio systems with no agreed standard
    >fire department ends up with vhf that doesnt work in buildings
    >stick the headquarters main office in an empty failing office building that holds chemical and hazardous materials, for whatever reason
    >pissed off muslims fly planes into neighboring buildings
    >main hq endsup closing due to the building its in catching fire
    >emergency service communications slowly start to breakdown
    >fire dept communications breakdown because their radios start to not work the higher they ascend into the inside of the building
    >in each service, even with separate bands the few channels they use start to pile up with too much radio traffic
    >one of the building collapses
    >fire dept cant reach people in the other building
    >firefighters only decide to go back down from feeling the other building collapse through the noise and vibration that entered the stairwell
    >city loses like half the fire dept
    >get praised as a hero and america's mayor

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Was this during 9/11?

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        No, it was last Thursdays buy one get one drink special in Boston

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >>city loses like half the fire dept
      >over 5,000 firefighters died that day

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        yeah but they only count for 3/5 of a person
        hence the 3k death toll

  37. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >be me
    >live in a concrete floored shack out in the boonies
    >crickets sometimes get in
    >hell naw, crickets are annoying
    >try chasing them around with a pocket knife trying to stab them
    >eventually break the tip off my pocketknife, decide this method is far too inefficient/unhinged
    >remember I have an airsoft gun
    >some CO2 powered M9
    >eventually figure out that using biodegradable ammo that breaks up easily, if I aim down towards a cricket but just in front of it, the BB essentially turns into buckshot after ricocheting off the floor, shredding the cricket
    >eventually get good enough to casually one shot them
    And that's how I won the Great Cricket War.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      good jorb

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      When I moved to a suburb of Toronto we had the craziest most massive crickets I've ever seen in Canada. I guess they had moved into the house for the year or so it was unoccupied and colonized it. An exterminator kept a few dead ones to study because he had never seen black crickets get to be so frick huge. They were the size of mice.

      Anyways, I got so good at finding then murdering them because their chirping was so loud that to this day I can I can immediately know how many, how far, and what direction crickets are from their chirping. It's my most useless skill.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        I still have the broken pocketknife and airsoft gun from that awful war, glad to have moved out four years ago.

  38. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    All of Bolivias wars are stories of moronation (besides the conquest/confederation of Peru our Lord Marshal was betrayed and we would never again have a competent General)
    >Piss poor logistics
    >shiity indio conscripts who take to the hills when the going gets tough, most cant even speak spanish
    >incompetent white or mestizo generals who either sold weapons to the other side, were batshit crazy or straight up traitors (besides one or two exceptions)

    Hear let me put two examples
    >war for the pacific
    >Bolivia is still getting its forces to bear
    We win some skmirshes but get btfoed in Battle of San Francisco
    >President Diaz decided to lead the Campaign and marches to Camarones to regroup with Peruvian allies across the Atacama Desert
    >either through sabotage by Bolivian officers who had money in Chilean banks/buisnesses or huge levels of derp they packed wine instead of water
    >Wine...Through a Desert... Bolitas btfoed dying of thirst

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >2nd Example Chaco war there is rumored to be oil in the Area Bolvia is backed by Standard Oil and Paraguay is backed by Royal Dutch Company
      >arid hilly areas of el chaco
      >fighting against paraguay the 2nd most poorest country in South America
      >Bolivian goverment is actually kind of smart this time
      >they hire a German General who drills the army regularly
      >he puts the order to buy several pieces of modern military equipment
      >Bolivia actually has tanks the best airforce (at the time) and pretty good rifles
      >first sign of moronation appears
      >General Hans Kundt proposes a plan to invade from the North, using Rivers to resupply the Army and lay siege to Asuncion
      >moronic President refuses and proposes his plan of Lee Roying through the Arid chaco
      >piss poor logistics strike again
      >many bolivians die of thirst
      >Hans Kundt regularly ignores air reconnisance reports of Paraguay movement
      >All of our tanks get captured an we are forced to buy Anti Tank equipemnt to destroy the tanks we bought
      >Kundt would regularly order frontal assults with Mass casualties
      >Paraguay counterattacks start
      >they encricle entire regiments and divisions on the regular
      >they capture so much ammo and guns they basically dont even need to buy anymore
      >they push us back to the begining of the Andes
      >we sue for peace
      >Paraguay gets most of the chaco, they look for oil they find none
      >Most of its on the Bolivian side

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >Lord Marshal

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Is Bolivia a fun country to live in? Is it like a 2nd world country? Mostly safe with basic stuff but lenient when it comes to laws?

  39. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous
  40. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous
    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Weaponized trolling.

  41. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >stories
    Here are Russians setting artillery firing positions... under artillery fire.

  42. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Doing MOUT at night. Dude forgot to put batteries in his nods before stepping and was too embarrassed to say anything. He actually makes it up a flight of steps in pitch black but on the way down he falls down every single one and breaks his ankle.

  43. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Not my story, but my friend who was on a separate 'ghanistan deployment told me a story of an ANA guy who got blown up by an ied and what was left of his body landed in a tree. His ANA biddies proceeded to try to recover his corpse by shooting the tree branches.

  44. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_the_Crater

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Battle of the Crater
      >US Civil War during Siege of Petersburg
      >Union digs underneath the Confederate trench line and sets charges
      >A unit of black troops is trained to lead the attack, told to raise ladders to exit their own trenches and then charge AROUND the crater to attack the disoriented Rebs
      >Gens. Meade and Burnside decide it would look bad if casualties were mostly black, and that those soldiers wouldn't be as good as whites for leading such an operation anyway, change the leading unit to a white one the day before the attack
      >Leading unit chosen by commanders drawing straws, the commander chosen does not brief his men (and may have been drunk)
      >The time comes, the fuses fail to fully burn
      >Resplice the fuses and try again
      >Detonate a huge mine
      >Confederates thrown into disarray
      >First Union forces stumble out of their trenches and charge INTO the crater
      >Realize they cannot get out the other side because it's too deep
      >Union panics and orders more forces to attack, they hastily rush into the crater too
      >Confederates rally and fire into a pit full of Yankees
      >Throwing stones and other debris down into the hole, stabbing anyone who made it to the top
      >Confederate officer orders a ceasefire because it's become a slaughter
      >Surviving (white) Union soldiers are pulled from the pit and sent to prison camps or hospitals
      >During the inquiry, Meade tries to throw everyone else under the bus

      bro are you me?
      >went to the crater last year and plucked a dandelion to bring home to my grandma

  45. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Battle of the Crater
    >US Civil War during Siege of Petersburg
    >Union digs underneath the Confederate trench line and sets charges
    >A unit of black troops is trained to lead the attack, told to raise ladders to exit their own trenches and then charge AROUND the crater to attack the disoriented Rebs
    >Gens. Meade and Burnside decide it would look bad if casualties were mostly black, and that those soldiers wouldn't be as good as whites for leading such an operation anyway, change the leading unit to a white one the day before the attack
    >Leading unit chosen by commanders drawing straws, the commander chosen does not brief his men (and may have been drunk)
    >The time comes, the fuses fail to fully burn
    >Resplice the fuses and try again
    >Detonate a huge mine
    >Confederates thrown into disarray
    >First Union forces stumble out of their trenches and charge INTO the crater
    >Realize they cannot get out the other side because it's too deep
    >Union panics and orders more forces to attack, they hastily rush into the crater too
    >Confederates rally and fire into a pit full of Yankees
    >Throwing stones and other debris down into the hole, stabbing anyone who made it to the top
    >Confederate officer orders a ceasefire because it's become a slaughter
    >Surviving (white) Union soldiers are pulled from the pit and sent to prison camps or hospitals
    >During the inquiry, Meade tries to throw everyone else under the bus

  46. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Volkssturm in general. One basic summary from Tiger In The Mud:
    >Give out thousands of panzerfaust to trigger-happy boys and old men
    >Don't properly train them on IDing friend from foe
    >They start firing on the first armor they see and kill a few Jagdtigers
    I would actually like to read of more accounts from them because as dire as it was, I imagine there's some humorous stuff like the British home Guard posts ITT.

  47. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I see this image parroted over and over again time after time but naught in all my years have I ever seen a source... Op is gay.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >source
      >hey reddit where is the source
      >cant find it on wikipedia
      >hey reddit can anyone fact check this
      >thats just racist myth, downvoted.
      you tourists need to stick to your ukraine containment threads. Black person Black person double Black person.

  48. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    In an old notebook I have the GPS coordinates of where a very large trench was dug deep in the Saudi desert a few weeks before Desert Storm when it was Desert Shield. In that trench is a UH-60, two OH-58D's minus their mast mounted sights and 4 Humvees. The sand was just pushed over them, leveled a bit and everything loaded up and we left. They were "extras" that nobody could find paperwork for.. So it was better for more than a few careers that they just disappeared.

  49. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Basically a story my veteran father told me from the First Nagorno Karabakh war.
    >1992, Somewhere in Nagorno Karabakh
    >Azerbaijani and armenian army both use pretty much the same uniform and equipment (left to them by the Soviets)
    >One day while on a small outpost my father and his buddies hear and detect a T-72 tank, immedietaly radio close elements saying if there is a friendly tank supposed to be around
    >Everyone says no
    >They immedietaly raise the QRF that has anti-tank element
    >They get ready for contact realizing the tank is unbelievably near.
    >They also have armenian POWs with them just causally sitting around and all.
    >The tank with a huge white cross on it (this is how armenians used to differ their stuff from us) drives to the outpost, turns the corner into there real fast and literally drifts.
    >Our guys start throwing hand and anti tank grenades to it start taking cover with some POWs, plan to run away.
    >After literally being grenaded for about 10 15 minutes 2 guys climb out of tanks all shaked up and angry just swearing around.
    >Apparently 2 friendlies stole an armenian tank and wanted to just frick with the guys for shits and giggles.
    >They didn't fricking think they're in the middle of a war and people might frick em up with anti tank rockets and etc.
    >mfw Armenian POWs laugh their ass off about this so much they get annoyed and exchange them first.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >IT'S A PRANK BRO
      >but with a tank and in an active warzone
      Kek

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Basically a story my veteran father told me from the First Nagorno Karabakh war.
        >1992, Somewhere in Nagorno Karabakh
        >Azerbaijani and armenian army both use pretty much the same uniform and equipment (left to them by the Soviets)
        >One day while on a small outpost my father and his buddies hear and detect a T-72 tank, immedietaly radio close elements saying if there is a friendly tank supposed to be around
        >Everyone says no
        >They immedietaly raise the QRF that has anti-tank element
        >They get ready for contact realizing the tank is unbelievably near.
        >They also have armenian POWs with them just causally sitting around and all.
        >The tank with a huge white cross on it (this is how armenians used to differ their stuff from us) drives to the outpost, turns the corner into there real fast and literally drifts.
        >Our guys start throwing hand and anti tank grenades to it start taking cover with some POWs, plan to run away.
        >After literally being grenaded for about 10 15 minutes 2 guys climb out of tanks all shaked up and angry just swearing around.
        >Apparently 2 friendlies stole an armenian tank and wanted to just frick with the guys for shits and giggles.
        >They didn't fricking think they're in the middle of a war and people might frick em up with anti tank rockets and etc.
        >mfw Armenian POWs laugh their ass off about this so much they get annoyed and exchange them first.

        Still somehow not the worst war-prank

  50. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I don't have a fantastic story but it fits since liberation day was yesterday.
    my grand-aunt got into an argument with a Canadian officer because some German soldiers shot at her (she went to get groceries in the only part of town still held by the Germans).

  51. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I think it's balancing out if blacks had brains we would all be in trouble

    >they commit the most crime rape murder what ever in a local scale
    >they also have lot of children out of wedlock with multiple women, to understand how much, they are killing them selves and being sent to jail so much yet there population is still at 13 percent, if they don't kill temselves or get sent to jail I think usa would be over run by blacks in 1 or two gnerataion like in brazil.

    Hence they are strong but stupid so they won't over run the world. Imagine an organised well trained diciplined blacks they would be raping murdering and doing brutal shit in an international level. It would be unbelivbale pandemic. Have you heared the shit rebels do in africa to people it will keep you awake at night.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >Have you heared the shit rebels do in africa to people it will keep you awake at night.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Literally why I shot Mordin

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >kill wrex
        >save the data
        >convince Mordin the Krogan aren't worth saving

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        https://i.imgur.com/71i8Xzt.png

        >kill wrex
        >save the data
        >convince Mordin the Krogan aren't worth saving

        LMAO, pussy. Imagine being so scared of the overgrown lizards that you'd refuse their use as shocktroops because MUH KROGAN WARS. The only reason those didn't end sooner was because the others did not want to go full genocide and engineer a plague that actually wiped them out but instead delicately reduced their numbers instead. If post-Reaper threat they sperged out again they'd simply get culled for good that time.

  52. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Anyone have that greentext of the "zombie outbreak" that happened in a prison in the Middle East that an American soldier went into with a gas mask? I don't remember much but I remember there was an infected guy that shit himself and was acting weird, trying to get the soldier to take off his gas mask

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Bumping for this, it sounds interesting.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Bumping for this, it sounds interesting.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Thanks, Anon. I was looking for it for hours a few weeks ago

  53. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous
  54. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    A few from my grandfather.

    >Serving in the Black Watch in North Africa.
    >Night patrol.
    >Gets separated from the rest of the guys.
    >Gets lost.
    >Wandering through the desert trying to find his way back.
    >Walks around a dune and comes face-to-face with a German soldier.
    >Both raise their rifles at each other, Mexican standoff begins.
    >German finally realises they're both in the same situation and starts laughing.
    >Grandfather laughs back.
    > Both go their separate ways.

    >1945
    >Captured, in a POW camp in Germany.
    >Allied forces advancing, Germans retreating
    >Guards leave the camp and the prisoners.
    >Most prisoners are in no shape to do anything but wait for friendly forces to arrive with food and medical aid.
    >Some of the fitter prisoners find a stash of wine the Commandant had left behind. Proceed to get shitfaced.
    >Manage to steal a car from somewhere, with the intention of using it to get to friendly lines and re-join the fight.
    >Being shitfaced, they drive 20 miles the wrong way and get re-captured.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      where and when did he get captured?

  55. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous
    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      No fricking way ... did he just ... for real?

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        war is heck

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Saw this 1000 years ago, but I never heard the backstory.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            What happened there?

            guy tried to anhero with a FAL under the chin but got the angle wrong. After he pulled the trigger he decided he didn't want to die as badly as he had thought. Video taken by buddies that found him after.
            Dudes name is Francisco Medina Sivira and don't feel too bad for him. He supposedly was connected to at least 13 murders by the age of 18.

            • 3 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              Damn, thanks. Did he survive?

            • 3 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              Damn, thanks. Did he survive?

              NVM I just googled it lol.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          What happened there?

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Sauce?

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Jesus Christ. What in the frick.

      >They always turn into garbage and toilet paper.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >tis but a scratch

  56. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    >aftermath of a grenade accident
    Damn.
    I thought the grenade injury in The Old Guard was hyperbolic gore but it must have been storyboarded from military ICU photos because it was pretty fricking close to that.

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