Any books specifically for funny, bizarre of or otherwise wacky instances which happened in wars?

Any books specifically for funny, bizarre of or otherwise wacky instances which happened in wars?

250 Piece Survival Gear First Aid Kit

LifeStraw Water Filter for Hiking and Preparedness

250 Piece Survival Gear First Aid Kit

  1. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    The Home Guard of Britain by Charles Graves contains some funny, and serious shit.

    >One man noted for is slowness in grasping a subject, after having fired his first dummy no. 36 grenade from discharger, in all sincerity looked quite aghast when he could not find grenade in discharger after firing same. Furthermore, on being asked to return his empty case (ballistite), said: "I canna as I've just fired it"

    >On an exercise I asked a man guarding a closed road what his job was. He said he didn't know. The following then took place:
    Who put you here?
    >Don't know sir.
    Who is your Platoon Sergeant?
    >Don't know sir
    Who is your Platoon Officer?
    >Don't know sir
    Who is your Company Commander?
    >Don't know sir
    Who am I?
    >Don't know sir
    How long have you been in the company?
    >Three months sir
    How often do you drill?
    >Five nights a week sir
    He was discharged later as mentally deficient.

    >One night in 1941, Pte. R. Brown, aged 18, was a member of the Guard at a works in the district. A heavy raid occurred and at about 9 pm a message was telephoned to the works calling for Brown because of serious trouble at his home. Brown asked for and received permission to be relieved from the NCO of the Guard.
    >On reaching his home the private found that both of his parents had been killed and his sister seriously injured by a direct hit. He assisted in disposing of the casualties and collected what few valuables he could from the wreckage of his home. These tasks completed, he returned to duty without delay, reporting back to the NCO of the Guard. He completed his normal Guard duties for the remainder of the night in spite of the considerable numbing shock he had received.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      volunteer, an old man wearing an ancient uniform of the great war and carrying a Ross rifle, a relic of the same, was challenged on how he would deal with a Hun paratroop. He responded by chambering a single cartridge and shooting a crow flying overhead. Exit questioner and crow; the former abashed, the latter bashed.

      >The scene was he orderly room at B Company's HQ of the 23rd BAttalion. A woman walked in and demanded to see the O.C. This she was allowed to do, and she said that she had come to see him about her husband. "Madam", explained the O.C., "your husband has to do his parades and guard duty like every other member of the company.". "I am quite sure of that,", was the woman's reply. "What I have come to see you about is to try and get you to make him do more parades and guards."

      >another story is told by a sergeant-major who was giving a demonstration of AA fire. He told his Platoon they would have better results if they waited until the dive bomber got within at least one thousand feet from the ground. "Would it be advisable to fix bayonets?" was one of the first questions directed at him. The sergeant-major, for the first time in his life, was struck speechless.

      You can't make this shit up, it's like /k/ but 90 years ago. Alas, that is not an easy book to find.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        It's fun to see the dry wit and shitposting is eternal, and frankly it's just the way that translations go that makes em dry.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          volunteer, an old man wearing an ancient uniform of the great war and carrying a Ross rifle, a relic of the same, was challenged on how he would deal with a Hun paratroop. He responded by chambering a single cartridge and shooting a crow flying overhead. Exit questioner and crow; the former abashed, the latter bashed.

          >The scene was he orderly room at B Company's HQ of the 23rd BAttalion. A woman walked in and demanded to see the O.C. This she was allowed to do, and she said that she had come to see him about her husband. "Madam", explained the O.C., "your husband has to do his parades and guard duty like every other member of the company.". "I am quite sure of that,", was the woman's reply. "What I have come to see you about is to try and get you to make him do more parades and guards."

          >another story is told by a sergeant-major who was giving a demonstration of AA fire. He told his Platoon they would have better results if they waited until the dive bomber got within at least one thousand feet from the ground. "Would it be advisable to fix bayonets?" was one of the first questions directed at him. The sergeant-major, for the first time in his life, was struck speechless.

          You can't make this shit up, it's like /k/ but 90 years ago. Alas, that is not an easy book to find.

          >A visiting officer from the War office noticed one particular instructor, a middle-aged man, who seemed to have masterly powers. He turned to the accompanying L.D.V. officer:
          >That one of your people?
          Yes sir.
          >Looks as if he's done some soldiering before.
          Yes sir.
          >Knows his job.
          Yes sir.
          >What was he?
          Regimental Sergeant Major, Grenadier Guards.

          >On one occasion a visiting Brigadier observed a lengthy row of ribbons on the chest of a Private soldier volunteer. He stopped in front of him and said somewhat patronizingly: "Well, my man, you seem to have seen a lot of fighting. Tell me, my man, which campaign did you enjoy most?" The private thought for a moment and then said: "I think, sir, it was the one in which I was second in command to Allenby"

          >In one particular Battalion the Explosives Officers is a tall, powerful, rosy-cheeked parish minister. He is equally at home with the Old Testament or new grenades, and his parishioners have sometimes been seen to hold their breath while their spiritual adviser plays about negligently with guncotton and instantaneous fuse.

          >In the early days we had orders to stop everybody we saw after dark on the Downs and ask for their identity cards. On our first night we came across a couple in a car and as they stole away on the approach of our armed party our leader held them up, demanded their id cards, and said to the man: "Do you know you have been in a prohibited area?" "No, he hasn't!" snapped the girl.

          >One tough little fellow who had lost his son at Dunkirk turned up at every patrol with a Ghurka knife which as a memento of the last war. This was in a mining village in Lancashire.

          >A farmer claimed he would require no training whatsoever; as having gone out to face a mad bull alone and having killed it with his first shot, he was quite capable of dealing with any Jerry within sight.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            In the context of a training exercise between Home Guard volunteers and the army
            >The actual day was kept secret, though the Intelligence service were on their toes. Soon soldiers on foot and in cars were seen snooping around the village, examining approaches and asking leading questions. The inhabitants quickly poured froth an astonishing amount of inaccurate information while the village children shadowed the soldiers with maddening persistence.
            >Fifth columnists appeared, one was knocked out by the village fast bowler getting him in the face with a sand bomb, and a cartload of spies thought they could deceive an agricultural village by driving a cart loaded with hay in the middle of August and pulled by a foreign horse.
            >It was unfortunate for the officer concerned that he had never learned the Scout trick of looking above eye level, and therefore while he was explaining to his platoon their plan of attack with imagining and zeal out of sight of the village, he failed to notice the small Wolf Cub in the tree directly above him. No sooner had this earnest officer withdrawn with his men when the boy slid down and lit out for his home and father, and breathlessly but with much detail recited his piece.
            >At 21:00 hours the enemy launched his main attack to the centre. They came under fire [blank] from the Home Guard flanks and centre but came in without any pause towards the oast-houses where they were to billet for the night. Nothing would stop them, the umpire was unheeded...

            • 1 month ago
              Anonymous

              ...continued...
              >The 'casualties' advanced even farther than the rest of the attackers and the standing corn (out of bounds) was about to be entered. The Home Guard Commander acted instantly, it was no use firing blank, so Northover projectors were loaded up with green apples as hard as stones and fired into the advancing enemy.....Molotov bottles were thrown high into the air and the Platoon Commander burst them one after another with a 12 bore game gun and No. 8 shot. The light wind carried the smoke directly into the advancing enemy. The enemy's right flank was under fire from Northover projectors firing apples, their left flank was receiving potatoes, and they were met in front by a blinding smoke-screen accompanied by broken glass and a few stray shot pellets. It marked the end of a perfect summer day and they surrendered.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            In the context of a training exercise between Home Guard volunteers and the army
            >The actual day was kept secret, though the Intelligence service were on their toes. Soon soldiers on foot and in cars were seen snooping around the village, examining approaches and asking leading questions. The inhabitants quickly poured froth an astonishing amount of inaccurate information while the village children shadowed the soldiers with maddening persistence.
            >Fifth columnists appeared, one was knocked out by the village fast bowler getting him in the face with a sand bomb, and a cartload of spies thought they could deceive an agricultural village by driving a cart loaded with hay in the middle of August and pulled by a foreign horse.
            >It was unfortunate for the officer concerned that he had never learned the Scout trick of looking above eye level, and therefore while he was explaining to his platoon their plan of attack with imagining and zeal out of sight of the village, he failed to notice the small Wolf Cub in the tree directly above him. No sooner had this earnest officer withdrawn with his men when the boy slid down and lit out for his home and father, and breathlessly but with much detail recited his piece.
            >At 21:00 hours the enemy launched his main attack to the centre. They came under fire [blank] from the Home Guard flanks and centre but came in without any pause towards the oast-houses where they were to billet for the night. Nothing would stop them, the umpire was unheeded...

            Imagine if sea lion actually popped off and some poor falschimjäger jumped straight into a position filled with insane veterans and old geezers who can circumcise a mosquito with their hunting rifle.
            The Germans didn't stand a chance.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            Can't forget about the Lance Corporal in the LDV who earlier that same year had been a Major General commanding the 7th Armored Division (Percy Hobart, of Hobart's Funnies fame).

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >s Platoon they would have better results if they waited until the dive bomber got within at least one thousand feet from the ground. "Would it be advisable to fix bayonets?"
        lol

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          Imagine being the pilot who was sent into AA fire and other dangers just to drop a fake bomb

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            When you read the mentality found in many pilots, and especially the British. The pilot was probably the one who thought of the idea.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          Imagine being the pilot who was sent into AA fire and other dangers just to drop a fake bomb

          imagine being in such good spirits that you find time to play games like this during war

          WW2 truly was the GOAT, there will never be anything like it ever again.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >>One man noted for is slowness in grasping a subject, after having fired his first dummy no. 36 grenade from discharger, in all sincerity looked quite aghast when he could not find grenade in discharger after firing same. Furthermore, on being asked to return his empty case (ballistite), said: "I canna as I've just fired it"
      Am I the only one struggling with the English of those sentences?

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        I've no idea why, but for some reason the English would often write in the late 19th and early 20th centuries, especially when they were narrating some event in a memoir or letter.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous
      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Guy shot a blank and was then confused why his blank was shot, and then when they asked for the empty casing back, he said he couldn't give it back since he'd already fired it

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >7th grade reading level

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >second story
      he's literally me

  2. 1 month ago
    Anonymous
  3. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    The Hinge Factor: How Chance and Stupidity Have Changed History by Erik Durschmied

  4. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Catch 22

  5. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Spike Milligan's books on WW2. Later in life he was a radio DJ and entertainer was a gunner in the British army and wrote some hilarious shit about his war experience. Even his book titles are a top kek
    >Mussolini, his part in my downfall
    >excerpt: A voice is calling across the land, "Bombardier Milligan.""Bombadier Milligan is dead," I replied in a disguised voice. The voice replied, "Then he's going to miss his breakfast."

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >On the platform, they handed us a pamphlet with Hitler's face, with the words, "This is your enemy."
      >I looked all along the train but couldn't find him.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Peak Milligan. Dude was a shitposting pioneer.

  6. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Hawk Recon: Headhunters is a trip
    >carries skull on his backpack
    >talking with WW2 vets who jumped in Normandy and Corregidor who now do snake eater shit
    >banging dicky
    >watching beastiality
    >smoking blunts on guard duty
    >rock apes
    >bee attack
    >insane blood lust after his first kill
    >more bee attacks
    The author later in life went on to run smuggling ops in light engine aircraft.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >I could be a rambler from the seven dials
      >I don't pay taxes 'cause I never file
      >I don't do business that don't make me smile
      >I love my aeroplane 'cause she's got style
      >I'm a treetop flyer

  7. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    the guinness book of military blunders

  8. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    No books in particular, but I like reading about the time the Americans and Canadians during the Aleutian campaign shot the shit out of each other thinking each other were Japanese.
    There were no Japanese on the Island.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >Japan (not present)
      CAPTCHA: YWAR

  9. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    The Prince of the Marshes is a pretty good book about the Iraq War from the POV of a civilian governor in southern iraq so he tends to see things not as a serious military situation but an endless iraqi farce. pic related.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Lmao
      Okay I'm getting this book

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        It has some great observational comedy for a book written by a politician

        >Mustache size matters in the old Ottoman world. One of the greatest Ottoman sultans had mustaches so long they had to be tied behind his neck while he fought, and in the tragic last scene of the Montenegrin national epic, a companion says to the dying hero, "let me lift up your mustaches so that I can see the wound in your chest." The neat mustaches on these statues of Saddem were the size of surfboards.

        >On the upper walls outside the dining areas were proverbs in Arabic, worked in marble. One ran "ask not what your country can do for you but what your can do for your country - Saddam Hussein"

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Doensn’t this just teach the terrorists that gay sex is the perfect cover for planning dirty deeds?

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >Hahah, the decadent Western troon globohomosexual wants to turn us gay with their propaganda! But we are cunning and will resist by cleverly fricking each other in the ass!
        Absolutely Russian tier thinking.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >Doensn’t this just teach the terrorists that gay sex is the perfect cover for planning dirty deeds?

        And they're 100% correct about that, wouldn't you say?

  10. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Flashman is pretty great even if its historical fiction although based on true events.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      one of the silliest events mentioned that I thought was fake was the Rugby School mutiny of 1796

      >some boys at Rugby private school make homemade pop guns and fire cork bullets at the headmaster's house
      >one boy gets caught and says he bought the gunpowder from a local village shop
      >the shop owner covers his ass and denies selling the powder so the boy is flogged for lying
      >his friends smash the windows of the shop in revenge
      >the headmaster says he's going to force the entire senior 5th and 6th school years to pay, they draft group letter saying they refuse
      >on Friday, 4th period after negotiations fail they used the rest of the gunpowder as a breaching charge to blow the door of the classroom
      >the senior year boys ring the school bell to signal mutiny and roused the entire school into open rebellion where they barricaded the doors/windows into the school, smashed the headmaster's study and made a massive bonfire with his books in the courtyard.
      >the local justice of the peace is called and he drafts an army recruiting party lead by a company sgt. major to end the mutiny
      >as the soldiers arrive with bayonets fixed the boys set fire the furniture in the schoolhouse and retreat to a small island in the school grounds
      >as the justice reads them the riot act the CSM flanks them and wades through the water before using his NCO's sword to take the ringleaders prisoner effectively ending the mutiny.

      The main ringleader 14 year old Willoughby Cotton was expelled and immediately got a commission as a junior officer in the army where he ended up as a Lt General in India.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        I mean if that isn't potential idk what is.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        God, i wished i was this based as a kid. I can only hope that when i'm a father, i can instruct my children so that they can surpass me in being cool-ass motherfrickers.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Flashman is fricking based
      My recommendation as always is "One Soldiers War" by Arkady Babchenko, reading it will give you an idea of the clusterfrick the russian military is, and how little it has changed since Chechnya
      Also read up on the authros interactions with the russian government,, fricking hilarious

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        This is more soul crushingly depressing rather than weird or funny...

  11. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    This and its sequel book are great ones for reading on the shitter. Hell, they're even illustrated!

  12. 1 month ago
    Anonymous
  13. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    In 1880 the Comanches besieged a Texas town trying to goad the Texans out of their fortifications to fight them on open ground. It started when the Indians came to the town to negotiate with the Texans for a return of white prisoners, during negotiations the whites took offense and a huge fight broke out results in scores of dead Indians. The Indian warbands heard about the perceived ambush and were rightfully angry, so they came to the town to kill every last white they could.

    The funny story comes from inside the besieged town though. The Texan soldiers wanted to fight but there was a 12 day truce negotiated. It boiled over and resulted in the death of two officers.

    Colonel Wells reprimanded Captain Redd and called him a “dastardly coward” for refusing to fight. Wells went so far as to accuse Redd of refusing to fight because of his “inappropriate” relationship with a young woman sharing his quarters, and not because he wanted to honor the truce. Since those were fighting words, Redd challenged the officer to mortal combat.
    A duel was arranged at 6:00 a.m. The Texan officers fired at each other. Redd sprang into the air and fell dead with a bullet lodged in his brain...Wells, too, in fulfillment of their fearful repartee, was shot very near the heart; he, however, lived a fortnight in great agony, begging every one near him to dispatch him or furnish him with a pistol to kill himself.

    I love the idea that when the garrison needed leadership the most, two of the commanding officers go and act like dumbasses and kill each other

  14. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >WW2, Casablanca Conference.
    >Churchill got in the habit of walking down the beach after hours, smoking, while he pondered the day's negotiations.
    >One day wanders further than ever, goes outside the secure perimeter, and runs into a guard.
    >Said guard is an American private on his first deployment of the war. He is determined but green as grass.
    >"HALT! WHO GOES THERE!!!?"
    "It is I, the Prime Minister of teh British Empire," Churchill replies affably enough, being a former soldier himself.
    >"NO YOU AIN'T!"
    >"Well, yes I am."

    This goes on in this same vein for a minute or two, with this private from bumfrick nowhere
    refusing to believe the leader of 1/3 of the entire Allied coalition just randomly wandered up on in the dark. The G.I. gets more and more frustrated. Finally he screams out:

    >"SERGEANT OF THE GUARD, I GOT HERE A FELLA THAT SAYS HE'S THE PRIME MINISTER OF ENGLAND, AND I THINK HE'S A GODDAMN LIAR!!!!"

    Sergeant runs up. Shines flashlight. Sees soldier. Sees Churchill.
    >OH SHIT FACE
    Many abject apologies are made, never happen again. Churchill was a chap about it, shared some his smokes, wandered off.
    History does not record what happened to Private Snuffy afterwards.

    From Army At Dawn by Rick Atkinson. His WW2 histories are full of these hilarious antecedents.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Reminds me of the guy who told Rickover to frick off because he didn't have proper ID.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Funny story, probably one of the few where that neurotic israelite is likable

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          >That son of a b***h gave me a Navy Achievement medal

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Something similar happened in the Battle of the Bulge. A sergeant was guarding a road when a Jeep rolled up with a bunch of guys in British uniforms, having been warned about infiltrators in Allied uniforms he asks for their identification but the man in the passengers seat says, “I’m Bernard Montgomery, you can let us through.” Sergeant says no sir there’s been infiltrators, you need to show ID or you’ll have to be detained, the British man gets annoyed and after going back and forth for a bit, orders his driver to go through the roadblock at which point the sergeant shoots out his tires and demand they all get out. That’s when the sergeant finally got the IDs and found, he really had just opened fire on Field Marshal Bernard Montgomery and his aides

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Based GI teaching Monty and Tards to just show their fricking ids

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        I heard a story about my grandmother from when she worked a desk job in D.C. during WWII as a secretary. Some general or something came in out of uniform and wanted to go see whoever's office she was the secretary for, and being in civilian clothes he didn't have proper ID. She told him to pound sand, he got increasingly irate swearing up and down that he's a four star general and he's killed fifty men and he'll have her job yadda yadda yadda and eventually left steaming mad because my stubborn c**t of a grandma wouldn't let him in.
        Later that day he came back in full uniform, apologized profusely, and thanked her for doing her job correctly.
        The only part of the story that I really believe is how stubborn she was being, God bless you Gertrude.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          Ching Lee was a giga based admiral in the USN, and he was given a job making sure that Naval Security was up to wartime standards which he took to ridiculous degrees. He got a second desk which he used exclusively to make increasingly ridiculous Identity papers with shit like actresses and axis leaders on it to try and sneak into Naval facilities, including at least two tries where he dressed up in a Hitler mustache and got into secured facilities. Then the guys on security would get pulled into a meeting in front of their boss and would have to go through this humiliating conversation like, “hello Mister Anon, I must say I am very flattered you think I’m so pretty. What do I mean? Oh I walked right past you with an ID naming me as Rita Hayworth with a picture of her taken from a magazine, so either you think I’m as pretty as Rita Hayworth or you are failing to perform your duties as a guard. Which is it Mister Anon?”

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          My grandma worked at a school in the 70s with a ex SS boss and a german israelite boss. There was much schenanigans

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            Tell us of these shenanigans.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Something similar happened in the Battle of the Bulge. A sergeant was guarding a road when a Jeep rolled up with a bunch of guys in British uniforms, having been warned about infiltrators in Allied uniforms he asks for their identification but the man in the passengers seat says, “I’m Bernard Montgomery, you can let us through.” Sergeant says no sir there’s been infiltrators, you need to show ID or you’ll have to be detained, the British man gets annoyed and after going back and forth for a bit, orders his driver to go through the roadblock at which point the sergeant shoots out his tires and demand they all get out. That’s when the sergeant finally got the IDs and found, he really had just opened fire on Field Marshal Bernard Montgomery and his aides

      I know this isn't the thread for it, but nothing really changes does it?

  15. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I remember reading about how a boxer decided to climb on top of a panzer 4 and beat up the commander then the crew surrendered in Normandy '44

  16. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    This is from the Strategemata by Sextus Julius Frontius.
    >Melanthus, the Athenian general, on one occasion came out for combat, in response to the challenge of the king of the enemy, Xanthus, the Boeotian.
    >As soon as they stood face to face, Melanthus exclaimed: "Your conduct is unfair, Xanthus, and contrary to our agreement. I am alone, but you have come out with a companion against me."
    >When Xanthus wondered who was following him and looked behind, Melanthus dispatched him with a single stroke, as his head was turned away.
    Literally the oldest trick in the book.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      ?si=Dpw8YU8xrMEMjOIk

  17. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Great collection of the funny and absurd shit that happens at sea

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      I've had that since before PrepHole existed. Good book.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        I got mine back in 08, but I gave my copy to a friend in the hospital before he passed.
        Still haven't replaced it. Probably because I know I won't be able to reread the book without thinking of him.

        I have to say that Italian sub skipper was pretty based

        Germans actually did that on a regular basis. It was expected that the german Uboat commanders would do something for the crews after their ship sank. Tow lifeboats, offer food/water, offer navigational aids such as a compass or map, etc etc.

        It wasn't until the Laconia Incident that Donitz put a stop to it. His order "Do not rescue any men..." stemmed from that incident and the Allies used that order as basis for his war crime trial. The prosecution fell apart after he explained the Laconia Incident and the allies brushed it under the rug because it meant they had their own war crimes to deal with.

        The chart that anon has posted is delusive. Many of the "wacky" anecdotes are told in half-truths or omit important details.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          >NOOOOOOOO THE GERMANS NEVER DID NUFFIN WRONG! THEY WAS GOOD BOIS!

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            Donitz quite literally did nothing wrong.
            Well done seething over being moronic.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            >U-boat sinks ship
            >German sub policy is to tow it back to port and take everyone prisoner
            >US bombs the shit out of you when you try to take prisoners during the Laconia incident
            >Stop taking crews prisoners altogether
            Germans did nothing wrong in this situation.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            It's hard to understand ye olden warfare when all our brains are fried with us vs them, kill them, gore, gore, kill -media. The old dudes were hardcore, and sometimes just killers and rapists and sadists, but still mostly polite.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          There's actually a decent movie on this Incident. Free to watch.

          ?si=hTWYS8m7fBlrR5Op

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Nice.

  18. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Any books in English about supernatural stuff related to wars?

    In Finland we had this book released some years ago, titled ''Supernatural War''. It's a collection of stories about premonitions, visions, dreams, hallucinations, things like seeing relative die at the frontlines in a dream, or seeing their ghosts etc. Rather than just being about ghost stories, it gave an interesting perspective on the stress that war gives everyone involved and how it changes people's behavior. Left me wanting for more books like it.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Roald Dahl tells a very interesting story about how when he was being burned alive in the fire of his crashed fighter, he had a vision of suddenly flying in a long procession of fighters, bombers and other planes and he knew they were all the shot down airmen of world war 2 flying up to heaven.
      Probably a morphine hallucination. Probably.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        I remember his whole story of getting shot down in the desert being pretty wild on his autobiography.

  19. 1 month ago
    Anonymous
  20. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Its historical fiction taking place during WW2, so nothing real but god damn its a fun adventure.

  21. 1 month ago
    Anonymous
  22. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Stories about armies encountering guns for the first time are as horrifying as they are funny.

  23. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Does this poorly sourced image count?

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      I have to say that Italian sub skipper was pretty based

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >Interviewed by Home & Garden for his innovative use of cacti
      LOL
      >Had a favorite alligator at the zoo; Russians siezed it and it survived until 2020
      IDK why but I'd like to have seen that alligator but you know, it being in Russia and all. Are there any ~80-100+ y/o zoo alligators in the US? Didn't think they lived THAT long.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Alligators are very weird in that they never really hit old age, similar to lobsters they can keep growing their whole lives as long as they can feed themselves and don't die from their immune system starting to weaken.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >Taught the Dalai Lama to fire a gun
      God, Gustaf really was based.

  24. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    For me, it's that time during WW2 that US servicemen cucked Aussies so hard that it caused a riot.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Brisbane
    >U.S. military pay was considerably higher than that of the Australian military. and U.S. dress uniforms were seen as more attractive than those of the Australians. The U.S. Army provided silk stockings and candy to American troops which they handed out to Australian women, as well as U.S. Army rations, in a time when Australians were on a poor diet due to rationing of food to civilians. This resulted in U.S. servicemen not only enjoying success in their pursuit of the few available women but also led to many Americans marrying Australian women, facts greatly resented by the Australians. In mid-1942, a reporter walking along Queen Street counted 152 local women in company with 112 uniformed Americans, while only 31 women accompanied 60 Australian soldiers.
    >By the time the violence had been quelled, one Australian soldier was dead and hundreds of Australians and U.S. servicemen were injured.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      never forget that started as a fist fight until some homosexual Yank MP shot an Aussie soldier dead

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        maybe the Australians should have acted civilized instead of raging out like the simple animals they claim not to be

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          So you're defending the US Blacks?

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            The Australian women sure were.

  25. 1 month ago
    Anonymous
  26. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Stay alive damn you

  27. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    The Narwal incident makes for a funny section in Sea Harrier Over the Falklands. For context the Narwal was an Argentine factory trawler turned spy ship mostly crewed by fishermen. Some sea harriers found it while carrying bombs fused for medium level attacks so they wouldn't go off at low level. Despite that they managed to disable the trawler by hitting the engine directly with an unexploded 1000lb bomb and strafed it with 30mm. The SBS did a textbook assault on the ship but all they found were some elderly fishermen who practically hugged and thanked them since they were sinking and had no working lifeboat.

    >All but one of the trawler-men were found to be genuine fishermen. It was [a] younger-looking man who turned out to be an Argentine Naval Intelligence Officer.
    >In parallel with treating the captured fishermen like kings [they were given sailor's berths and the crew pooled together to donate 100 cigarettes and a porno mag to each man], Invincible also looked after the Lt. Cmdr. of Argentine Naval Intelligence in a manner befitting an officer.
    >He was convinced that having been captured in a war zone in a spy ship and not in uniform, he was destined to be taken to the quarterdeck and shot as a spy. He asked for permission to write a last letter home to his wife and children and, to keep him happy, his request was granted.
    >The Captain [J.J. Black] wondered how he was going to convince the man that he wasn't for the chop. Then he had a brainwave. "I know what.. we'll send the Roman Catholic Padre down to see him. He's sure to believe a man of the cloth".
    >One sight of the Padre, however, convinced him he was about to be executed. It took him several days of needless worry to realise he was in civilized hands.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      [...]
      >A visiting officer from the War office noticed one particular instructor, a middle-aged man, who seemed to have masterly powers. He turned to the accompanying L.D.V. officer:
      >That one of your people?
      Yes sir.
      >Looks as if he's done some soldiering before.
      Yes sir.
      >Knows his job.
      Yes sir.
      >What was he?
      Regimental Sergeant Major, Grenadier Guards.

      >On one occasion a visiting Brigadier observed a lengthy row of ribbons on the chest of a Private soldier volunteer. He stopped in front of him and said somewhat patronizingly: "Well, my man, you seem to have seen a lot of fighting. Tell me, my man, which campaign did you enjoy most?" The private thought for a moment and then said: "I think, sir, it was the one in which I was second in command to Allenby"

      >In one particular Battalion the Explosives Officers is a tall, powerful, rosy-cheeked parish minister. He is equally at home with the Old Testament or new grenades, and his parishioners have sometimes been seen to hold their breath while their spiritual adviser plays about negligently with guncotton and instantaneous fuse.

      >In the early days we had orders to stop everybody we saw after dark on the Downs and ask for their identity cards. On our first night we came across a couple in a car and as they stole away on the approach of our armed party our leader held them up, demanded their id cards, and said to the man: "Do you know you have been in a prohibited area?" "No, he hasn't!" snapped the girl.

      >One tough little fellow who had lost his son at Dunkirk turned up at every patrol with a Ghurka knife which as a memento of the last war. This was in a mining village in Lancashire.

      >A farmer claimed he would require no training whatsoever; as having gone out to face a mad bull alone and having killed it with his first shot, he was quite capable of dealing with any Jerry within sight.

      These are great

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >the crew pooled together to donate 100 cigarettes and a porno mag to each man
      And they say the west has fallen

  28. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    The Ed Dyess Story is a very good account of a group of airmen bungling their way through the Battle of Bataan with no combat experience.

    https://archive.org/details/in.ernet.dli.2015.59993/page/n72/mode/1up

    >It was midnight of January 17 that we were awakened in our blacked out camp and hurried into waiting trucks. A seven mile ride took us to the Agoloma bay region, where the Japs had effected a landing just after dark. They now were in the jungle and, as we later learned, were preparing to advance until dawn.
    >Our green troops made so much noise with their yelling, shooting, and floundering, however, that the Japs thought they were facing a major force and dug in at once.

    >Later the same day we were advancing into a particularly dense jungle sector. We knew there were Japs just ahead. Beside me was one of my squadron boys carrying a Lewis gun. It was a tense moment and, as often happens at such times, the gunner felt the need of a little levity.
    >“Cap’n,” he said, “how will we tell which are Japs and which are monkeys?”
    >The sergeant answered for me. “Just kill ’em all, son,” he said. “We can eat the ones that ain’t got uniforms on."

    >I’ll never forget the little Filipino who had set up an aircooled machine gun at the brink and was peppering the crowded beach far below. At each burst he shrieked with laughter, beat his helmet against the ground, lay back to whoop with glee, then sat up to get in another burst.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >Perhaps the bagging would have been easier if we had known a little more about the terrain and military tactics. Sometimes the mistakes we made were beyond the ludicrous.
      >I recall a day of maneuvers when I was acting as referee. Our men had been divided into two forces, one to hide in the jungle and the other to go in and flush them. I was walking down a jungle trail when I was amazed to hear the whistle of a bobwhite (quail). There were many things I didn’t know about the Luzon jungle, but I did know there were no quail out there.
      >I sat down behind a stump of something and answered the whistle. There were responses from so many directions it seemed the brush must be filled with quail. I continued to whistle. Presently I could see helmeted heads poking around trees and bushes. In about ten minutes I had whistled up a full platoon.
      >Lieutenant James May (who was to give his life at Agoloma bay) was in command. I told him I could have cleaned out the whole bunch with a quail gun. He was as mad as a wet hen.
      >"I told ’em to whistle,” he yelled, “but I didn’t tell ’em to imitate a bunch of blankety-blank bobwhites!”

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >At each burst he shrieked with laughter, beat his helmet against the ground, lay back to whoop with glee, then sat up to get in another burst.
      Based

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >>I’ll never forget the little Filipino who had set up an aircooled machine gun at the brink and was peppering the crowded beach far below. At each burst he shrieked with laughter, beat his helmet against the ground, lay back to whoop with glee, then sat up to get in another burst.
        Definitely a Flip, alright.

        >dram dram dram teh Firripinos
        >closs-eye kackiyaki radrones
        >honderneat ower sunry frag
        >srivirise dem wit Arisaka
        >and return rus to ower owno beroved hromes!

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >>I’ll never forget the little Filipino who had set up an aircooled machine gun at the brink and was peppering the crowded beach far below. At each burst he shrieked with laughter, beat his helmet against the ground, lay back to whoop with glee, then sat up to get in another burst.
      Definitely a Flip, alright.

  29. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Not book but my grandma has funny stories. She grew up in ww2 balkans and saw a lot of stuff firsthand. The funniest story is of a naighbor woman going to the forest to gather wood only to get blown to bits by an american aerial bomb from a bomber that was getting rid of a few extra bombs by dropping them onto an uninhabited forest.

  30. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Along the Florida coast, the water is deep and US merchant ships would sneak along within feet of shore to avoid uboats. Captain Hardegan was wise to this, and pulled his uboat close to attack one night. Protocol was to stop the ship with 1 torpedo, wait for the crew to evacuate, then finish the ship with deck gunfire. But on the beach, cars and trucks immediately began to gather to aid the stricken crew. Hardegan swung his sub inshore so he could fire out to sea and spare the civilians. Quite civilized. The British put him and his crew down some time later.

  31. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Geoffrey Regan has written a whole bunch of books about variosuu branches of the military committing blunders.

    I can also recommend "Quartered Safe out Here" and for huor even more the "McAuslan" books by George McDonald Fraser, the same guy who wrote the Flashman books.

  32. 1 month ago
    Anonymous
    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >German sentences a man to an early and gruesome death because he doesn't understand bants
      many such cases.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >he doesn't understand bants
        What the frick are you talking about? Sending that guy to the eastern front is top tier bantz.

  33. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    My Tank Is Fight is a pretty wacky read.

  34. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    It was during the end of the Cold War but the whole ‘Whiskey on the Rocks’ saga reads like a comedy rather than a serious international incident. From the Russians declaring that they had crashed due to equipment malfunctions after allowing Swedish naval officers to inspect their perfectly functional instruments, to the Swedes calling the Russian bluff and declaring the vessel salvage, then getting so spooked they launched two full squadrons of fighter bombers armed with ASMs who came moments away from engaging what turned out to be German freighters, every time I read it I can’t help but smile

  35. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Churchill being a clumsy fatass got me laughing so hard that my balls hurt.

  36. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/On_the_Psychology_of_Military_Incompetence

  37. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    filthy thirteen by jack mcniece.

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