Anons a advanced alien race wants to occupy our planet.
What weapons would you use? ARS? Man pads? AR 15s, man portable nukes? Ieds
Alien Invasion!: Best Weapons to stop an Alien Invasion
Anons a advanced alien race wants to occupy our planet.
What weapons would you use? ARS? Man pads? AR 15s, man portable nukes? Ieds
My dick
This. Weapons will be unnecessary as the alien women will all want human wiener
Fpbp
I've seen enough interspecies porn to be sure humans and aliens will be way too busy fricking to fight
lieterally came here to post this anon. But I must respect you, go frick all them alien b***hes
Even if they aren't hot alien women, and pop out of their ships looking like a xenomorph, I've seen enough around here to know someone, somewhere, will try to frick it.
And if that don’t work use a brick
I will save Earth
Based
You're a hero
quintessentially human response.
>"muahaha im going to type my dick"
>someone else already posts that
YOU FRICKING prostitute
KILL ALL ALIEN WOMEN
>What weapons would you use?
That guys dick.
I kneel
Are there any old, obscure sci-fi books that involve fricking aliens?
What if the alien doesn't pass the Harkness test?
cant beat the wiener, not the wiener
"To his surprise, he discovers that all the Martians have been killed by an onslaught of earthly pathogens, to which they had no immunity."
I know you're just quoting war of the worlds but that's literally the opposite of how it works. Earth pathogens would do literally nothing to affect martians because the bacteria never evolved to take advantage of their cellular structures.
Unless it's something amazingly moronic like martians and humans are the same species from a progenitor race or something.
maybe for viruses, bacteria are far less picky, fungal infection can occure in any organic matter there are also amoeba, archaea, molds, etc.
Will not stop a robot invesion but any kind of organic life is vulnerable.
Also common chemicals like water or oxygen could be toxic for life from a different planet.
This gentleperson is correct.
Bacteria and fungi can start munching on cellular structures from different planets. Fungi doesn't give a frick. Imagine athlete's foot? Now imagine athelte's foot growing on an alien armpit that has zero resistance to it.
Human biosphere is chock full of yeast bacteria, from the highest mountain peak to deepest ocean trench to 10 miles beneath earth crust, there is yeast in there. If the aliens are suspectible to yeast infections, this is a death world for them.
And then there are amoeba life. Those flesh-eating amoeba you hear horror stories about? They are nasty because we humans don't have resistance to them. But the aliens don't have resistance to ANY of them. And those amoeba are fricking everywhere. Your filthy kitchen is probably the most toxic environment imaginable to the aliens.
Also, other organic compounds in the biosphere might turn out hazardious to foreign life forms. Like pollen might cause severe allergic reactions and be downright toxic ...or it might not do jack shit. It's a roll of a dice.
"The thing about Death worlds is that you don't realize you are living on one, until you leave."
This also makes space exploration impossible. More likely any space going civ is going to know about the issue and solve the problem.
More like most space-faring spieces are heavily cybernetic.
Or they just don't bother trying to live on alien biospheres, but rather just terraform the planets they fancy to suit their own needs.
So if aliens would want our world, we probably would be dead long before even one of them set foot on earth, and the planet would look unrecognizable.
>Bacteria and fungi can start munching on cellular structures from different planets. Fungi doesn't give a frick.
unless their chemical chirality is opposite handed, then our species are unable to eat them for nutrients
Excellent point. And going even further - water and oxygen are both excellent solvents and oxidizers. Our atmosphere alone might be caustic to them - much less our oceans.
Are those illegal aliens? If so a 357 would be enough
Not really, enzymes only work on very specific molecules. Aliens with different biochemistry would be largely immune to most pathogens, much like e.g. plastic would be, unless they just happen to coincide with an Earth organic molecule. The only thing they'll have to watch out for would be ones that feed on inorganic molecules, but those would be extremely slow growing and food for normal pathogens, so not really a problem.
a specific enzyme is specific in function, sure - but enzymes as a whole are so broad in function we genuinely don't know what their limits are
oh, as an aside, if their body temperature is below a certain threshold their immune systems are basically irrelevant to fungi.
fungi digest externally, meaning that on top of the facts they grow quickly, spread prolifically, and adapt astoundingly rapidly (see: Chernobyl fungus), they are covered in digestive fluids at all times (meaning they don't have to evolve to recognize a food source before they've already started eating it).
>TFW humanity finally gets to other planets and finds out Earth is considered a death world by the rest of the galaxy and we've just done the equivalent of a rat infested spice ship docking in Constantinople in the 12th century to them.
Oxygen is already toxic we just deal with it at the 21% it is already.
Why would water be toxic to martians, they have water on their planet.
maybe they're made of sugar
The problem is when War of the Worlds was written, HG Wells was specifically making a parallel to the disastrous effects of accidentally introducing european diseases to colonial natives. But the thing is...those are other humans, of course would affect them.
>Human biosphere is chock full of yeast bacteria, from the highest mountain peak to deepest ocean trench to 10 miles beneath earth crust, there is yeast in there.
>Aliens turn out to be plant-type grain-form of life
>spontaneously turn into muffins upon stepping out of their ships
It's as shrimply as that
But oh no
>humanity celebrates in new-found brotherhood and consume the delicious alien muffins
>turns out this is just part of their lifecycle and they burst out of the infected humans
Defeated by bread at last
so you're saying we have to frick the muffins, not eat them right?
also checked
Just because their cell structure/proteome can't be exploited by the Earth microbiome, it doesn't mean they can't be affected by it.
Take for example mucormycosis. It's a disease usually affecting people with untreated diabetes. What happens is that, as the diabetes progresses, the blood of the patient gets more and more acidic, to the point that Ferredoxin, a protein used to store iron in your cells, starts leaking it's stored iron. One of the many functions Ferredoxin has in your body is to deprive fungi of a crucial limiting resource. If fungi do have access to it, they start slowly but indiscriminately growing inside of the patient, filling in any cavity and space they can and causing havoc on any tissue affected. The only cure for this is to remove the affected parts.
A similar scenario could happen to any alien that visits Earth without any biological protection; it could be bacteria, yeasts, molds, pretty much anything that produces spores and spread them in the air could get them. Imagine the invasion over in a week since all the invasion force just turned into a mass of slime molds.
Pic rel is a micrograph of a blood vessel with mold growing inside of it (purple ribbons).
You know, if this was true...
The aliens would know to be prepared, and they almost certainly need full environmental suits to walk around here anyway before the place has been "terra"formed. (Try running around on Mars or Venus in just your underwear and it isn't microbes you need to worry about.) But we're not, and don't. So if horrible plagues the immune system has no answer to start running rampant, it doesn't exactly appear like it'll be our plagues killing them.
> before the place has been "terra"formed
it goes beyond that, unfortunately for the aliums
Earth life is so pervasive and so resilient the only way to actually wipe it out with any degree of certainty is to ablate the entire atmosphere and melt the upper lithosphere.
as a little example of this in practice: to study life there without contaminating the entire planet, we have to build in meticulously isolated clean rooms the probes we send to fricking VENUS
I guess you can die from alien plague then safe in the knowledge that the aliens will have to go to great lengths to be able to walk around on Earth unprotected in the future. Or this civilisation that's likely so advanced that we seem closer to the fungi them them technologically may just develop some good fungicidials (be it toxins, custom made virii, nanobots, gravitochamical meson resonance sterilizers or just smacking the fricking moon into Earth).
>we have to build in meticulously isolated clean rooms the probes we send to fricking VENUS
That's an excellent illustration of what's going on here. You're blindly flailing around with a few half-remembered factoids you've heard, but with no actual understanding of anything. We build everything that goes into space really fricking clean because stuff gets extreme out there, and you don't want to find out what a stray bit of hair may do to a mission critical hinge after being both deep frozen to a few kelvin and roasted by sun that makes Death Valley seem lukewarm. "It'll probably be fine" just doesn't cut it when a decade of work and five billion dollars have been spent on getting a preposterously sensitive instrument in place to do its thing. Venus? Last time humanity tried to land anything on Venus was 1984, and we've sent nothing there to study life since there isn't any life there to study. Now we have sent probes to other places to look for traces of life, and for that we do need shit extra clean. But no, not because some moronic notion that these invincible fungi will grey goo the entire fricking place, but simply so that if traces of life are found we won't have to wonder which planets those traces are from. If a mass spectrometer on Mars starts hinting at complex organic molecules we want to be certain those are Martian, and not just Pence's fingerprints, which means we need to be sure to scrub everything squeaky clean before lift-off.
>and you don't want to find out what a stray bit of hair may do to a mission critical hinge
i figured
>blindly flailing around with a few half-remembered factoids you've heard
was projection, but i didn't expect you to confirm it in the very next sentence
>this civilisation that's likely so advanced
you know, something tells me the "if they got here, they have magical tech you can't imagine" folks aren't doing a terribly good job of imagining the details of alien tech.
if your response to "they might struggle to deal with this problem" is "nuh uh you don't know they aren't gods", you're not contributing.
the Venus thing applies to orbiters, by the way. a planet is more than just its surface. there are some concerns that the good ol' venereal probes of the USSR could have contaminated the atmosphere, but realistically the amount of material transfer between planets and the existence of endolithic microbes likely makes inner solar system panspermia a matter of time regardless.
Disease
Nukes
No
Yes
ICBMs from SSBNs
magical girls
>Alien Invasion!: Best Weapons to stop an Alien Invasion
The best humanity has to offer.
MOVING AT THE SPEED OF DEATH!
I will serve planet earth until my dick falls off or is ground flat from friction.
Pleidian pussy aryan milk milk baby alien breed machine wiener my wiener my wiener
ah yes, I am also schizo.
Pretend you are collaborative and give them moldy food. It may end up in you getting tortured though, but it will be funny looking at them while they get fricked over by the funny hairy cheese
surely they're going to test everything before they try eating it just to determine it doesn't contain poison
>a advanced alien race wants to occupy our planet.
Then it is truly joever. I humbly offer my assistance.
just because they're technologically advanced doesn't mean they can fight, they might have politicians in charge giving us victory on a platter
Anon if some advanced aliens came out of a wormhole and decided they want Earth for whatever reason it is completely over. They wouldn't even need to use weapons like nukes or giga lasers or whatever. They could send an army of nandroids to occupy the males and within one generation all of humanity would cease to exist.
Assault rape with high capacity balls.
>meme answer
My dick
>real answer
battle rifle
If anyone is looking for a good read, I highly recommend the Captain Corinth manga. You will enjoy it.
Ants would stop them
musica
Biological weapons.
Drunken cropduster pilots driving a motorhome with a full shitter.
P90s, nuclear weapons, and the penis
Contortionists, people with the ability to tuck their heads between their legs in order to kiss own ass goodbye, will be the most well suited for the situation.
Why would we fight them?
Black folk
basicaly the perfect zerg race
>multiply way too fast
>raisaided by a single paren rage
>just smart enought to use any weapon given to them
>horde mentality
>too dumb to use anything other then there desegnated weapon
>easly contralable, who shout the loudest is the leader
>pheromones weakened any females
>lost of number can be skiped over to keep moral since they arent people
>still can trow shit like a chimp
The common cold virus. Kills aliens, kills Chinese.
>woman with white hair
homie that aint white thats blonde are you colorblind
HUMAN FRICKING SHITS
deserved
What if the aliens are something abstract…like a propagating thought?