.950 JDJ Fat Mac

This is the .950 JDJ Fat Mac. It is a 100 pound, 5 foot long rifle that shoots a one pound solid brass bullet at 2200 FPS. It is a non-NFA item only because the ATF gave it a sporting exemption as a joke as if anybody is going to hunt with this. This round would be overkill for hunting blue whales.
I would like to paint a picture for you. It's 2AM and you hear a window break in your living room. This is the worst day this could happen, as every single one of your guns was lost in a tragic boating accident this morning. All were lost except for one. You look across your room in dread at your anti-kaiju rifle. You know what you have to do, but you don't know if you have the strength to do it, both literally and figuratively.

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  1. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Heaving the rifle into your arms, you load a .950 cartridge and begin to waddle towards the door. Your feet make a loud “thud” as you take each 6″ step. You know the intruders hear you. You hope they do, for perhaps they will run and spare the world the suffering that is about to befall it.
    You try to set the rifle down, but end up clipping your bedroom door and it is immediately knocked off its hinges by this battering ram in your hands. You attempt to round the corner, bonking the muzzle against the doorframe and adjacent wall across the hall at least 4 times. To your horror, two invaders stand there at the end of the hall.
    With a heavy heart, you raise the rifle to your shoulder while making inhuman grunting noises from the strain of attempting some semblance of a shooting position. The burglars simply stare in disbelief, unable to process the situation they are witnessing, as if in a dream. You cannot aim the rifle, as the last time you fired the gun, it turned your $3000 Leupold into a kaleidoscope. You simply hold it at an angle that appears correct and fire.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      You are immediately knocked to the floor as if hit by a semi truck going 20 MPH. The shot connected with one of the criminals and it erased him from existence. Even the memories of him have been destroyed and you're wondering why you just shot into an empty hallway. The shot continues to travel through at least 4 houses, a car, and a 10 ton boulder before lodging itself 20 feet into a nearby hill, never to be seen again.
      It is at this point, you realize you cannot hear. The surviving burglar can't hear either but he's also on fire from the muzzle blast and is currently vacating your home. You don't care. Your shoulder is dislocated and there is a hole in your brand new AR500 refrigerator. You're crying now. The police arrive and, upon seeing the scene, start laughing. You start crying harder.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >you raise the rifle to your shoulder
      unrealistic
      it should be
      >you prop up the gun on the stair railing, then brace your shoulder into it like a crew served weapon.

  2. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >shoulder firing the JDJ
    I think you'd die

  3. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Holy shit op, I needed that laugh. This is the best thread on /k/ right now

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Thank you. As an aside, I saw JD Jones at a grocery store in Ohio yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.
      He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”
      I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying.
      The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.
      When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        God bless you OP, and your Autism

  4. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    That’s just one of those mini cannons that they used to mount on the railings of galleons, you can’t fool me.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      imagine having a swivel gun mounted on the bannister of your staircase so if someone broke into your house you could blast him with the contents of your silverware drawer.

  5. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >it's a real gun

    Dear god. I must have it.

  6. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    NEED a 950JDJ Gatling gun loaded with 50 caliber sabots going at 4000 FPS in my life

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >not knowing it ballistically mimics 20x102mm
      >not knowing they make a rotary cannon in 20x102mm

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        As far as memes go 14.9 SOP is much more interesting.

  7. 2 years ago
    Anonymous
  8. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >anon tries to tell /k/ about a gun thats existed for like 20 years
    >also adds a very uninspired, not even greentexted story about using one for self defense

    Black person if you want your thread to get screencapped you're gonna have to put in real effort.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Worse, he stole it from Facebook.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        OP is officially a Black person

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Was made 20 years ago, and died 20 years ago.
      Even if it was a production gun, an Anzio 20x102mm rifle would be cheaper even with the tax stamp.

  9. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Isn't it inferior to it's parent cartridge in like every way?

  10. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    ITT: newbies and immigrants

  11. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Frick you, you magnificent bastard. You made me laugh at work.
    Best thread on the board right now.

  12. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    threads like this are always made by redditors who see greentexts on reddit and think 'heh, I'm funny and also witty, I could be a greentext too..........!!!.....' then go off and write this, wait for some (You)'s and screencap them for a reddit post that will feed them updoots. I hate this. I hate this so much. This is gay. this whole thing is gay.

  13. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    So it's a shittier 20mm eh?

  14. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >heheh what if u used big gun for self defense

    tired

  15. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Sure is samegay in here

  16. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >This round would be overkill for hunting blue whales.

    No it would NOT you fricking moronic FRICKING MORON.

    There have been 1887 bomb lances pulled from still living whales today you STUPID FRICKING PIECE OF FRICKING SHIT.

    That would NOT be overkill you FRICKING moronic piece of FRICKING ____SHIT______

    -----
    I CANNOT COMPILE ON MAC OSX
    -----
    Installed Mac Ports on OSX High Sierra

    > https://desuarchive.org/g/thread/87464681/#q87466887
    > https://desuarchive.org/g/thread/87521054/

    CPUOPTIMIZATIONS?=-fcommon -fno-math-errno -ffinite-math-only -fno-rounding-math -fno-signaling-nans -fno-trapping-math -D_THREAD_SAFE -I/opt/local/include/SDL2 -L/opt/local/lib -lSDL2

    Build more but didn't link:
    "_volume", referenced from:
    _M_Draw in menu.o
    _M_Menu_Options_AdjustSliders in menu.o
    ld: symbol(s) not found for architecture x86_64
    clang: error: linker command failed with exit code 1 (use -v to see invocation)
    make[2]: *** [darkplaces-sdl] Error 1
    make[1]: *** [bin-debug] Error 2
    make: *** [sdl-debug] Error 2

    https://pastebin.com/QwM2D7xh

    Won't link and won't thusly create the binary.

    This is the makefile.inc:

    https://pastebin.com/GPkifHGn

    this is the makefile (no extension)
    https://pastebin.com/TP7rJCLP

    my email is m i k e e u s a ( a t ) f i r e m a i l ( d o t ) c c
    If anyone figures out what I have to do after the transhomosexual canadian janitor deletes this thread.

    Or put a thread here with the subject MAC, or my nickname in any of the posts, or discussing grsecurity: ill search on the archives, if a solution is known.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      what the frick did i just witness, is this autism in its most final form?

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        Autism never reaches its final form. There is always more autism. In fact, it's autism all the way down.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      What the frick?

  17. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >makes a shitty thread over a gun they only made 3 prototypes of, and only ~20 custom rounds for, a decade ago, and will never be in production, because you're an underage newbie who stumbled across its wiki/jewtube video of it
    Literally have a nice day scum.

  18. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I don't know why people don't just call this what it is, a 24mm cannon

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