You find yourself stranded within Pyongyang, North Korea. How do you carry out a stealth escape mission through the demilitarized zone into South Korea?
You find yourself stranded within Pyongyang, North Korea.
You find yourself stranded within Pyongyang, North Korea. How do you carry out a stealth escape mission through the demilitarized zone into South Korea?
>crossing the DMZ
fuck that I'm booking it to the swedish embassy
>In 2020 because of the COVID-19 pandemic, the diplomats were withdrawn temporarily. The embassy remained open and is staffed by local employees.
> is staffed by local employees.
Good luck.
well fuck
luckly as annon pointed
out there is still the Polish embassy
the problem being that the only Polish I know is bobr, kurwa and the lyrics of that coke song
Try singing it, they'll understand the situation
I'm not sure that is up to date
Useful tip for EU citizens: if you are stranded somewhere and for some reason there isn't/you can't access your national embassy, you can walk into the embassy of another EU state and they'll help you all the same.
https://www.consilium.europa.eu/en/policies/consular-protection/
And other nations citizens can also be given diplomatic passports or failing that, there have been cases of people being smuggled in the diplomatic "bag".
The diplomatic bag being any container clearly marked as such and those get certain protections and immunities. And a bag can be anything, like a pallet full of books some embassy wants to give as presents but couldn't get trough customs in time if had to go trough customs.
I'm Canadian, surely you guys would be cool if I needed safe haven in one of your embassies right?
how does this work if I'm an american citizen with a parent who's a british citizen with dual citizenship.
I know I can apply for dual citizenship but I haven't done it.
if you arent a citizen of that nation why would you get the benefits from it? also the UK is out of the EU so youre double fucked.
What? You are not an EU citizen, why would you be treated like one?
i don't (nor will anyone else), and end up getting nabbed by the police & get tortured to death
I look for directions towards Polish embassy.
I'm pretty sure I get arrested instantly since I stand out like a fucking sore thumb.
>6"5
>stealth is chinkland
Not happening
>Be white
>194cm.
>Chinks wonder where my handler is
>Glowies ask me where he his in perfect English
>I don't have one
>Arrested
>Make it out of the city somehow
>White tall man roaming the country side
>Every fucking farmer there is get on their bicycle or wood gas generator or whatever to power the village telephone to report a ghost
>Arrested
>Make it out of the city somehow
>Cover in dirt and improvise a camo suit
>Somehow make it to an area that makes the Berlin wall look like an obstacle course without any insider knowledge
>Step on mine
>Get shot by sniper
>Fall into pit
>Get tangled up in razor wire
>Get arrested and put into death camp
I never had a chance.
I don't. Crappy timeline, I just kill myself.
>Hello I am John Roberts I would like to star as the american bad guy in your propaganda movies
>live like a king forever after
Just ask them to let me go? The fuck are they gonna get out of me being there.
... money?
You do realize that's one of North Korea's money making schemes the past few decades? Accuse a foreigner of committing some "crime" and holding them for ransom until it takes some high-level American politician to come bail you out? Every single rescued person out of North Korea has always shared the same story about their treatment in North Korea: BAD.
>through the demilitarized zone into South Korea
if you had no diplomatically semi-legitimate options available, this would still be a lot worse than trying your luck with any other land or sea border. we only know of a tiny number of people who have ever attempted it, and what, one? border guard whose full escapade was caught on camera.
land borders: look up some travel vlog content and you'll see. the borders are very porous, really. at any number of reasonably convenient locations, you can just walk out, passing through china or russia on your way to a third nation. many stretches aren't marked by anything more than a lil stream, a culvert, guidestones.
the main deterrent for this isn't physical border controls. it's (a) the guaranteed household / multi-generational suffering of your whole family back home, as well as (b) the lack of incentive for (nearly always) chinese locals to want to smuggle you in a turnip cart, at great personal risk and likely for a fee that's nominal even for a chinese peasant. many nork defectors / illegal emigrants end up permanently circling the drain in the lower rungs of chinese society, unable to earn enough in wages to pay for further passage onto south korea and unable to coordinate this even if they had the cash, given their limited language skills and network in china. iirc the vast majority of escape attempts end in chinese authorities deporting the individual. but if you aren't cursed with nork citizenship, that means fuckall to you. you just get to china, one way or another, and figure it out from there.
sea route for the truly desperate is interesting too. buy or appropriate a rustbucket fishing boat. fashion a sail. launch east and pray to poseidon. glowwies and maritime agencies are always monitoring odd naval activity. they'll see you eventually.
You guys are no fun. Im aware this is quite possibly the stupidest way to go about escaping. I was looking forward to reading what almost MGS3-esque scenarios of crawling through the woods and mountains for days on end would anons come up with and instead everyones just being rational about it, lame.
how many months/years straight of day in, day out highlight reels of vegetable, animal, mineral, and vehicle all being fucked by minefields do you need, anon? mines fucking blow. they blow so unbelievably hard. they are easily one of humanity's worst collective accomplishments and their continued relevance in warfare is an indictment of our species. the dmz is full of them. you can't clever your way out of it. you just bleed out.
Even Naked Snake was sent in with some gear, constant radio support and guidance, and multiple people on the inside helping him out. Your scenario is really fucking hard by comparison, even if we don't have to fight the Cobra Unit.
>sea route
kek what are the fucking odds – i open up news app to clear notifications and see that someone has just done this, but china to south korea. on a jet ski.
https://bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-china-66585657
>the borders are very porous, really. at any number of reasonably convenient locations, you can just walk out, passing through china or russia on your way to a third nation. many stretches aren't marked by anything more than a lil stream, a culvert, guidestones
It's no longer that easy. They've just walled and fenced the shit out of the northern border in the last couple years and increased patrols. The rate of defectors making it to South Korea has plummeted from 1-2 thousand a year to less than a hundred. The smugglers charge unaffordable amounts or won't operate because even as professionals they don't have easy ways in anymore.
i've seen some of that buildup on china's side but not the norks. where's the change most noticeable?
>How do you carry out a stealth escape mission through the demilitarized zone into South Korea?
perseverance and a few tourniquets
Escape? Pyongyang is a nice town.
Living in the future.
You really shouldn't get psyop'd this easily anon its embarrassing. I can grab beautiful pictures of San Fran doesn't mean I would want to live in that shit hole either
You really thought I was serious? Come on now.
>0 people
Honestly my best guess is acquiring food and a backpack, a knife, way to light fire and water and make it through the mountains somehow or some other spot in the north that is not under guard. You'll probably die in the mountains but it beats living in north korea.
That's how they used to do it. Kimmy has spent everything they possibly can to lock that country down since the pandemic. The northern border is worked hard now.
It reminds me of a book pre covid where some woman was smuggled out of norf korea together with her mother by chinese workers through the north. I don't remember the details if it was some sherpa tier mountain trek tho
>make it through the mountains somehow or some other spot in the north that is not under guard.
They fixed that during the koff. The average escape rate WITH help is in the 60s per year atm
Speaking of which, working in an embassy in North Korea must be one of the coolest jobs out there.
I will hang out with kimmy and watch his cool awesome rockets
i wonder what his taste in vidya is
Seduce little sister, get her to let me just walk out.
Imagine the performance anxiety for anyone unlucky enough to be her consort. Do or die.
F-22 raptor
I head to the Pyongyang airbase. I find some guards (no more than two) and wait by the nearest restrooms. Once a soldier goes in, I quickly follow behind and bash his skull in with a rock. I have a good chance if I catch him with his pants down.
With a slightly used uniform acquired, I head past the main lines of defense. The disguise should be good enough to get past basic security. I do my best to look like I belong, then find a spot to hide until night. Once night falls, I commandeer a MiG-29 and haul ass to take off before they notice. Before flying away I bring er around and, with the weapons lock off, strafe the remaining aircraft to prevent them from chasing me. I make a beeline to South Korea and pray I do not get caught by AA.
You sure would bond burger those norks!
Anon gets shot trying to find fuel.
Unless you're a korean and malnurished that's not going to work.
>the Nork being that thick
Use a smaller line for the stick figure.
Best method for a firstie citizen is simply to lie low and walk to China. From there you can begpack your way to the embassy. The Chinese won’t deport you to North Korea if you are very obviously not a nork.
I speak Russian and have a Russian passport, I just leave.
Literally the only time it's not a hindrance
You dont. The DMZ is impossible to cross these days, its far to militarized. They only ones who are able to do it are people who take the official tour then sperg out at the official crossing site. All actual defectors from the north use the northern route across the Yalu into china. Preferably in winter when parts of the river are frozen and more easy to cross. Ive heard rumors though that Un has recently increased the size of the northern border garrison. So this traditional route has become a lot harder. That said money and alcohol always helps.
>That said money and alcohol always helps.
Apparently it's more expensive than ever to get aid to cross through the Northern border because of the increased security. It's something like $30,000 to get smuggled outta the country into China and to your average nork that's a lifetimes worth of money so unless you already have family on the outside it's no good. That and China is starting to clamp down on defectors too, any that get caught are held indefinitely until the NK government want them back. Once you're across that northern border you're basically moving across the country hoping to god that none of the millions of cameras in china don't pick you up.
Can you even escape NK at this point? due to COVID and the chinese stepping up their surveilence game it's almost impossible to escape that country now. I wish I had the stats but apparently only something like 23 people have managed to escape the country so far this year.
Pretty much impossible to escape now, unless you are wealthy and can bribe your way through.
I see no other way than to rampage my way to the top of Ryugyong hotel and have a fistfight against Kim Jong-Un in the rain with only Yo-jong as our witness.
What if I just ask them politely and say I'm Canadian
>it's just a misunderstanding eh
Why escape? I've got enough cash on me to live like a fucking king there. Just go buddy up to good 'ol Kim, rustle up some sweet nork pussy, and have a grand fucking time. Beats being a wagie under the biden regime.
First I rescue the tea girl.
tea girl may well be dead, or serving her 10th year in a hard labor camp for speaking with a westerner
>but she was part of the tour
like that matters?
The odds of Tea Girl still being alive are like the odds of you winning the lottery. If you want to go find her, a noose would be more effective than a plane ticket.
>really wants to talk to Westerners
>she's alone all day
>most likely reassigned to a farm or factory to waste away
And 4chan thinks they're the good guys.
>stealth escape mission
heh.
Legally, how wide is the border between countries?
legally they don't agree that there are "countries" at all. and the conflict was frozen while the UN was babby so the rest is largely built on shaky bilateral norms rather than citing international legal precedent.
in practice, there's a line in the middle with 2km of death on either side. civilian control buffers outside that. the joint security area is the black dot on the line in this pic.
what were you up to? get any pics kowtowing to big murals/statues of best kims?
If I can’t make it to my or any other embassy I will just sell out, the success rate of North Korean defections has been going down to the lowest levels ever and that’s not even considering my skin that would make me stand out too much
Best bet is on selling out to the regime and producing propaganda for their offline version of bilbili
I've been to Pyongyang.
If you're on foot and have nothing with you then you are fucked.
I'd stay
First I get a knife and some local wardrobe, try to hide face and hair.
Hide patiently for someone with an firearm., get uniform and firearm.
Then official car, those guys are all malnourished, naïve and kinda weak.
Then tank, then plane(do they have planes?).
But then I wouldn't go to SK, NK is the biggest producer of drugs, hookers and counterfeit money...
Why the fuck would I leave?
I would become new Kimmy Chin Cho
I've been to the Chinese side of the North Korean border, there's a river in Jinan province that separates them and you can take a boat tour on it (in China anyway).
That's probably not that hard to cross if you're a good swimmer, it's only 100m wide in most parts and not a really fast river (and you don't care about being carried down stream anyway).
Only problem is that now you have to escape from China but at least there are more foreigners in China so you're not instantly reported.
If you're not North Korean and you get across the border into China you're fine. They'd just deport you to your home country, not send you back to North Korea.
If you're North Korean though, and the Chinese catch you, they treat you like an illegal immigrant and send you straight back to Best Korea kek. Then you're imprisoned, tortured, and probably hung in front of a crowd.
Probably better off just trying to sail a crude raft into Japanese territorial waters or make a hang glider and fly it over the DMZ at night until you're in South Korea. I doubt Best Korea has any capable anti-air.
>you get across the border into China you're fine. They'd just deport you to your home country
They certainly wouldn't deport you to North Korea I think but you're not guaranteed of a swift and smooth deportation home either.
It would look a *lot* like you were a spy and you might end up being held for years before they decided you weren't, or found someone worth trading you for.
Even if they accept that you're not a spy, you entered illegally, you didn't just overstay a visa. You're probably going to jail for a year or two and Chinese jails are no bueno.
On the bright side, you can at least borrow a phone from someone and send an email so folks will know what's going on and if your government is inclined to help, it has a chance to do it.
In any case, the problem is getting down south cross-country through China. If you can get some money then you can buy a bike and cycle the backroads, it starts to be almost possible then. You can't use trains, buses, highways or hotels or hostels because China has such invasive tracking and identity scans, even the backroads are an issue because cops that see you might ask to see your passport and they can run immigration checks pretty easily and find you have no visa. Still, if you're cycling at night and camping in a tent then you might make it far enough south to be able to cross a sea border.
I think I'd probably try to make a raft or steal a boat and head for Kinmen Islands, once I'm in Taiwanese hands I can ask for asylum or throw myself on their mercy, they're likely to be more understanding.
Trying to get to Japan on a raft would almost certainly kill you, maybe if I could get a sail boat I could do it.
going the china land route just to end up on a solo sea voyage all the same feels like you're getting the worst of both worlds to me. a straight-shot east from the northeast korean coast toward the sea of japan is an individual step with high risk, but it's not compounded by other risk factors in the same way that attempting to navigate china or russia under the radar would be.
the hurdles for getting to china's southern industrial coast are so hard to counter if you aren't receiving any help. the ubiquitous surveillance make it impossible to hide, and all of china (even rural "agricultural" china) being wasteland makes it exceptionally difficult to live off the land for any length of time.
if i got to china's southern industrial coast, and i couldn't get myself out in a diplomatic bag or whatever, i'd probably try to get myself smuggled onto a cargo ship. those are well-established criminal networks, and the criminals involved just want to get paid, not deal with ugly shit, so at least you know that it's just a matter of not fucking it up.
>all of china (even rural "agricultural" china) being wasteland
That's nonsense.
There are villages and little stores everywhere.
Admittedly you either need to speak Chinese or have an offline translation app on a phone but that's not the end of the world, lots of people have translation apps on their phone and second hand phones are dirt cheap in China.
If you have a bit of cash, you could live off minimart instant noodles (everywhere that sells noodles offers boiling water as a free service, it's standard) and dumplings from village restaurants for quite some time.
Getting the cash is probably hard but assuming you have your passport, I don't think a money wire service is going to obsess about checking your visa (outside of Guangzhou's trader district anyway, they're always doing crackdowns). You could always ask someone to help you and get cash transferred to someone who gives you local currency.
The biggest problem with this is sleep, you can't use hotels because they will scan or photocopy your passport and register it with immigration, they're required to under law and Chinese don't usually take bribes these days or at least you won't know how to bribe them and who can be bribed and it's high risk because they might report you for trying.
So you're forced to camp by the side of backroads and it's probably only a matter of time until some police see you and ask for your papers and then you're fucked.
If you can obtain a car then you're way better off, you're still forced to use back roads because you don't want to end up in the highway surveillance system but you can sleep in your car easily enough and won't be bothered if you pick isolated car parks and similar locations.
i meant living off the land in the sense of foraging, trapping, maybe rustling the occasional chicken from sleepy farms, etc.
in this scenario i'm just committing upfront to sleeping rough and avoiding human interaction as much as possible (bc for some reason, i can't make my presence known to authorities). villages and stores being everywhere does you no good under these constrains. pointing out that this is compounded from the other end by the fact that bushcraft experience does you far less good trying to navigate china by back trails than many other regions. the extreme lack of wildlife and low-productivity, desertified land is a big challenge.
>low-productivity, desertified land
You're travelling south parallel to the coast, it's lush fertile terrain nearly the whole way.
You don't know anything about China, stop pretending.
>i'm just committing upfront to sleeping rough and avoiding human interaction
Not impossible but there'll be long stretches where there's no where wild to sleep, farmers are going to be asking why you're sleeping in their fields, many would probably offer you a bed or a barn or something, they tend to be pretty curious about foreigners in backwater villages and helpful if they think they can communicate with you. Some would definitely mention it to the local cops though and they'll look into it out of curiosity because village cops don't have a lot to do so there's going to be a low key search for you or at least cops on the lookout for some hobo foreigner.
Bushcraft does you less good in this area of China, it's mostly cultivated land but there's a good amount of woodlands and hills that are difficult to farm (this isn't rice terrace territory) so you'd get some use I suppose.
>You're travelling south parallel to the coast
to avoid people, as i clearly mentioned i'd be doing? no i absolutely the fuck am not. you talk like a presumptuous asshole who wants to have a pissing match about something only losers would ever want to have a pissing match about, so i'm done with you.
If you want to get from Korea to the southern coast as you said, you have to go south and you start and finish on the coast so you're going to be parallel to the coast.
It's all settled, cultivated terrain and has been cultivated and settled for three thousand years.
sneaking something like 2700km across the population density capital of the world (east of the hu line) and expecting to operate a mobile device more than never without getting caught, all while under the premise that you need to stay under the radar or you're getting vanned, is not realistic. i say "living off the land" and you think i mean eating at an "authentic" sit-down "village restaurant" instead of ordering food off an app. we have such a radically divergent view of what the challenge problem is that this discussion cannot proceed fruitfully. i tried to clarify the terms on which i'm engaging the problem and you tried to insult me. i will not brook insults from your zoomer garden gnomefro ass.
You have no comprehension of the land you think you're going to live off. You can't even grasp the direction you need to travel.
you are overly impressed with your knowledge of gradeschool geometry and the logical necessity that all north-south travel routes must lie vaguely parallel to china's eastern coastline. yes, this is in fact a propertly of two lines that never meet. very good. want a cookie?
You're still denying reality and pretending you know Chinese geography better than anyone that's lived there.
I'm fucked. Do I at least have one of my guns somehow
No, but if you're cunning enough you can stab a guard and take his gun. Better start studying your copy of ALL IN FIGHTING by W.E. Fairbairn, it's the quintessential guide to shanking changs.
I would just accept that there is no escape and instead focus on ensuring that I am not taken alive when I am inevitably found. Nork prison camps are hell on Earth.
I'm white amd american, I literally just walk through and dare them to start ww3 over it. If it works in my favor it will be the first time in my life I've pulled the white card
>laughs in Warmbier
nobody is going to start ww3 over some guy from kentucky
Didn't work so good for that college kid
Cardboard box
I surrender to the nearest guard and beg the mercy of great leader
Disguise myself as an old korean Babushka and start stealing supplies and gathering intel. Once I've stashed enough food and equipment in my sewer hideout, I'd hike east at night. Korea is tiny, I could get to the ocean in a day or two. There, I'd steal the smallest boat I can find and head out to sea and either paddle or sail over to China. It's about 100km, I think it's doable in a couple days. Not glamorous I agree, but simple enough to possibly work.
It's north Korea. What makes you think they'll have supplies, let alone food to steal?
Pyongyang is the richest area. But I agree it would probably be shitty rice and fish and water bottles.
once I'm in china I would wave my phone pretending to be european tourist making vlogs and hitchhike to embassy
>hitchhike to embassy
Embassies are no good anon, they're guarded by People's Armed Police and they'll scan your passport before allowing you entry, see you have no visa to be in China (and no entry stamp or electronic entry record) and arrest you.
Why is a thread about escaping NK mostly about escaping China…?
>Why is a thread about escaping NK mostly about escaping China…?
Because it seems less suicidal to get into China than to try the DMZ.
Punch straight east toward the ocean, cross at sindae-re, and push all the way to the jejin checkpoint.
The security is much more relaxed in this area.
>t lived in Korea for years.
Only related because NK, but I got a short story
>year is 2000
>dad's friend is holiday China to see some of their last steam trains
>he and the rest of his group of ~8 Brits and Germans get a charter flight on a light aircraft up to Manchuria
>plane has engine trouble over the Yellow sea and has to ditch
>get picked up by NK coastguard and taken ashore
>they all get accused of being spies (including the Chinese pilot), have their documents seized, and get interrogated for a day and a half
>Chinese government asks NK if they know anything about a missing light aircraft with some tourists on it
>whoops
>everyone gets apologies and is given "the tour"
>get shown around a museum of American crimes and see some tanks before they all board a Chinese goverment plane sent to pick them up
>at no point were the British or German governments informed about any of this
did they inform the swedes or poles? they are the Ue representatives so they should have been told.
I assume not. But from my own experience it can take a while for things to get around when you have to aces your own diplomatic service via a third country.
embassy third country - foreign affairs third country - embassy your country in third country - foreign affairs your country and then back again
You can't. PERIOD. North Korea is the world's largest open air prison, if it were easy to get out then 95% of the population would have fled DECADES AGO. The number of people that have immigrated TO North Korea can be counted on two hands, that's how bad it is.