You are given full command of the entirety of The Russia's forces. Your only order: Win this war, or you peacefully fall out of a window in your sleep.
What do you do? Anything goes, but if it's something big like "remove all corruption" it's gonna take a long time. Your only timeline is that you need to win before Putin dies of old age.
>Your only timeline is that you need to win before Putin dies of old age.
That's not fair.
Miliyary coup
Execute Putin and his cronies
Withdraw forces from Ukraine
10 years of military Junta, then declare free and open democratic elections
Holy gay
Workable and you become a hero to both sides for saving the world. Then you wallow in money and dicky.
NICE try ciamoron fucker.
Also dilate
based moderate
only acceptable answer
this is what i think might happen when monke gets balconied, possibly with some enthusiastic de-nazifying in transnitria targeting moldova (who've been there for the ukes since the beginning) to make it look good for Moscow while using diplomatic back channels to withdraw, sue for peace, and removal of sanctions. then all it takes is a few decades of re-armament before trying again.
>I have Putin killed so he can't die of old age.
kek
this. any victory is pyrrhic under these conditions, even if they hold part of Crimea, Puccia is kill
>"everyone i disagree with is a glowie"
back to 4chan schizo
gay tbh
Launch surprise attack on North Korea. Hope they have some good stuff hidden around.
First order of business: sell off some hardware for money to buy a yacht.
I think not much left for sale after coruption or intelect of previous generals
Then I'll just sell organs from mobiks on the black market. Not much difference if they die by Ukraine's model airplane club, friendly fire, suicide or an acute lack of kidneys, liver, lungs, etc.
Who would buy AIDs infected organs, specifically livers that have been run dry by institutionalized alcoholism?
Doesn't have to be pristine if I can sell many of them.
Literally the only winning move is to stockpile a bunch of classified secrets, charter a Mi-8 and fly to Kiev to accept my new command post in the Ukrainian military.
The Mi-8 carries a bounty of $500,000 but the equipment bounties go up to a cool million. A little research first and you can charter something that will maximize the payout.
Try to negotiate a separate fee for the classified info, and remember to get a broad spread of state secrets. The Ukrainians are interested in some things but the EU and US have other priorities, and you might be able to score separate deals with a bunch of well-to-do Western agencies with deep pockets.
Publicly execute Shoigu and Garasimov, now with this newfound boost in morale, launch a general offensive across the whole frontline until something breaks.
Trade nukes to the Norks for as many shells and tanks as they are willing to part with. It's not like they can be realistically used without everyone turning into a plate of glass.
It is a purely mathematical question of who has more meat for the grinder.
Coerse Africans for manpower in exchange of food and humanitarian aid to create black meatshield regiments.
Bite and hold, if there needs to be trenches from Sumi to Moldova, so be it.
We'll have it in the bag in ten years flat. With somewhere north of ten million casualties, but that's not my problem.
>until something breaks
That "something" is gonna be your army.
Lets not be fatalistic, they can get some R&R if they reach 80% casualty rates.
>you gonna throw in the 14-year olds and their great-grandpas
They are already using 60 year olds so throwing some young blood in the mix would make the statistics even out.
>It is a purely mathematical question of who has more meat for the grinder.
At current casualty rates, that's Ukraine.
>north of ten million casualties
What, you gonna throw in the 14-year olds and their great-grandpas
>At current casualty rates, that's Ukraine.
yeah those ww1 levels of amputations totally confirm that Ukraine has insignificant casulty rates
>What, you gonna throw in the 14-year olds and their great-grandpas
No one knows dedovschina like gopnik Gramps. He'll split mobik bootay like a rotten peach then sleep happily through the weeping.
Mobilize the entire population and economy like it's Great Patriotic War II : Zhukov's Revenge, and prepare summer camps in Siberia for any complainers.
Is that a complete sunk cost fallacy for Putin's regime? IDGAF, he put a gun to my head and said win.
>Trade nukes to the Norks, Iran, Syria, Myanmar
That's hilarious but it would be hard to keep secret, and the west would probably be about as freaked out as if you just started lobbing them around in Ukraine.
>it would be hard to keep secret
Why bother? What is the west going to do about it?
Sanction the Norks? Saction Vatniks?
Well, what's the west going to do about it Russia simply starts nuking Ukraine, sanction them harder?
No, the current American threat on the table is to attack Russia conventionally in that case, world war fucking 3.
And why make that threat, to defend their ally Ukraine? No, that threat wasn't on the table when Russia looked like they were going to roll into Ukraine's capital in 3 days.
It's entirely about stopping nuclear escalation and bad nuclear precedents by pre-emptively escalating really hard against anybody doing dumb shit with nuclear weapons.
I'm speculating that if Russia started handing out ICMBs to every tinpot dictatorship that will trade a can of beans for them, it would probably get a similarly extreme response.
I don't know if there's a stated policy, it's the sort of thing that's so crazy that nobody is worrying about it.
Man, that is one beefy door stopper.
DWONGWONGWONGWONGwongwongwongowong
NATO generally gets to make most of the rules on account of being the most dominant superpower, never collapsing, etc.
But it has certainly led to many large arguments like the Cuban Missile Crisis.
And that's JUST talking about countries stationing their own nukes under their own control in allied territory.
It's not the same transferring WMDs to geopolitical allies than actively using them. The west has its own nuclear weapons sharing program.
"Were gonna store some nooks inside one of our bases on your soil, you fine with that?" is a little bit different from "here's a nook, do what you want just don't nook us."
Does the wording really matter in the geopolitical chessboard?
It doesn't change the fact that a rook has been moved somewhere else.
Those kind of statements are mostly for internal and PR purposes. To the opposing side there's no other optic than "this is a threat somewhere else".
Better analogy is we're playing chess and I want to let my little brother make some moves too and he's known to flip the board.
And who wins then?
It's not the wording, it's about clearly exerted control over the nook. First one is "nuke on foreign soil surrounded by your own soldiers", the other is "not your nuke anymore".
In the first case, if I want to use your nuke for some tomfoolery I would declare war on you by killing your soldiers and stealing your nuke. The second case is just me using my nuke (that is clearly traceable to you).
Giving nukes to iran and north korea is the same as launching them, and should draw a proportional response.
Fun fact:
The guy who painted that is now working for the NPS part time giving tours of the place
Israel would absolutely refuse Syria and Iran getting nukes in a deal, and would respond with force if need be
>Operation Opera and Praying Mantis rolled into one
Chyna is not letting Myanmar get nukes. I could see North Korea being allowed to make the deal though.
>you just started lobbing them around in Ukraine.
Do it, fagget! No balls!
Linebacker 3 and once the earth has cooled enough to be walkable again convert the country into a parking lot.
Norks already have nooks, do you think things would escalate into potentially suicidal insanity because they'd get cold war era nooks that are ever so marginally less shit?
Look into what's been done to prevent nuclear proliferation. That some countries outside of the first five or so have developed the technology (more: stole it) caused more than one open threat about war and isolated two countries nearly completely from the international community.
how were you able to come up with such a sound plan? how come you're so versed in warfare?
what's this pic where does that door lead to?
lol
>what's this pic where does that door lead to?
>Blast door leading to underground launching facility at Minuteman Missile NHS
>https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:World-wide_delivery_in_30_minutes_or_less.JPG
thanks!
>what's this pic where does that door lead to?
Blast door leading to underground sex dungeon beneath your mom’s bedroom. She can fit a whole fraternity house down there stocked with cheap beer. The door is, sadly, necessary to keep all the sorority girls away so your mom can keep all the dick to herself.
>verification not needed
your mom sucks cock? true
Switch to total war.
Anything else is slow defeat.
Mass mobilization and hope you will kill so many Ukrainians they eventually fold. DTWC can outproduce and out sanction BRICKS without any doubt.
Some version of this. Trade nukes and ICBMs to NK, Iran, Syria, Myanmar and anyone else who has appreciable military hardware and possibly troops to send in return. Trick illiterate Africans into becoming meat shields with promises of big pay and white women. Go full war economy and mobilize another half million Russian men at least; force pensioners to work civilian jobs in their place.
Conscript 10million mobiks and zerg rush Ukrainian defenses.
What is win? Hold onto land bridge? Hold onto Crimea and Donbas?
Ukraine surrenders
Pretty much impossible. Total mobilization isn't really going to help. Actually, the best bet is playing for resurrection by waiting for western support to crack.
Should have figured by now that it's not going anywhere.
KMS
>have Putin accidentally fall to his death or my forces sgoot him or whatever
>Putin can't now die of old age
>trade land with morons and chinks for weapons and manpower and gold
>hire shitskin mercenaries
>keep fighting
>desert to china or dprk or moon if i can't win
just defend forever and mobilize the nation
>Win this war
You have to define this first
pronoun
pronoun: this; pronoun: these
1.
used to identify a specific person or thing close at hand or being indicated or experienced.
"is this your bag?"
used to introduce someone or something.
"this is the captain speaking"
referring to the nearer of two things close to the speaker (the other, if specified, being identified by ‘that’).
"this is different from that"
2.
referring to a specific thing just mentioned.
"the company was transformed and Ward had played a vital role in bringing this about"
determiner
determiner: this; determiner: these
1.
used to identify a specific person or thing close at hand or being indicated or experienced.
"don't listen to this guy"
referring to the nearer of two things close to the speaker (the other, if specified, being identified by ‘that’).
"this one or that one?"
2.
referring to a specific thing just mentioned.
"there was a court case resulting from this incident"
3.
used with periods of time related to the present.
"I thought you were busy all this week"
referring to a period of time that has just passed.
"I haven't left my bed these three days"
4.
informal
used in speech to draw attention to someone or something.
"I turned round and there was this big mummy standing next to us!"
adverb
adverb: this
to the degree or extent indicated.
"they can't handle a job this big"
Is a thunder run to lviv from belarus a thing? Cutoff resupplies from the west.
>bro just trade nukes for weapons with anyone who's willing, what could go wrong
I think you guys need to brush up on your 101 foreign policy material.
unzip my fly and spin my dick around
Mobilize two million men, arm them with Nork equipment I get for the missile and nuke teach, also get as much old soviet trash from Africa as possible.
Also spent billions on disinfo campaigns in the West and help to elect traitors and isolationists.
I turn the men under my command around march on Moscow so that we can help Putin peacefully fall out of a window in his sleep. But for real this time. You know, as a joke.
Send 10 nukes at night to sleeping ukies main cities, victory in one day
>victory in one day
More like victory for one day.
turn my forces 360 degrees and walk away
That's piss easy, I just mass my forces and do a single push to achieve a breakthrough and then keep going. Russia already doesn't give a fuck about casualties, so you might as well just brute force it like the Soviets planned.
With what for logistics? Bushankas?
Those who have legs carry those who don't have
>just mass my forces and do a single push to achieve a breakthrough and then keep going
What do you think they've been trying to do until now? They simply cannot
I'm gonna nook
>Invade one of the Baltic states
>Force NATO to directly intervene
>Execute Putin
>Surrender to big bad NATO so it doesn't look as bad as surrendering to just Ukraine
>Blame Pootin for the whole mess and thus provide an off ramp for Germans to say that Russia learned the lesson and put pressure on the rest of the EU to lift the sanctions
>Instate myself as the dictator of Russia for the next 20 years and bleed the sheeple dry like Putin and his pals were doing before
Option 1:
>dig an as deep as possible and hope you can reduce the intensity of the conflict and drag it out for long enough that the west eventually stops caring and aid to Ukraine trickles out
Arguably what Russia is trying to do tight now
Option 2:
>detonate nuke over black sea, tell the Ukies the next will detonate over a city in an hour and then the next over the next city in an hour until they unconditionally surrender.
Depending on how the west reacts to this it won't work and either way Russia will be fucked geopolitically for all eternity, but it's not like I have any better ideas.
Option 3:
>same as Option 1, but embezzle some money and have a good life. If the war doesn't end, I haven't lost it and I get to keep my mansion.
I guess technically I could argue the war is going on, even if Russia is pushed back to 1992 borders, if I stage some border skirmish every now and then
>breaking the nuclear taboo with a warning shot to a country you're already failing to invade
i wish they were this stupid. counterforce strikes become absolutely necessary instantly regardless of your "surrender now" timetable. you're effectively threatening the entire planet the moment you break the taboo, showing everyone you'll nuke over any demand that's not going your way - you can't be allowed to continue to exist.
hell, China might join the counterforce strike themselves.
India and Pakistan would probably just use it as an excuse to nuke each other unless something has fundamentally changed in that animosity over the last few years.
Oh I'm fully aware, but in OPs scenario I don't have many options, so that sounds like a Hail Mary worth trying on the off chance that it works.
That is what Russia is banking on. Albeit in their view the decadent West will eventually lose interest in supporting Ukraine so they just have to hold on until then, while I think anon was implying that Ukraine will run out of stuff any day now.
>That is what Russia is banking on
isn't it great. "us is a dying empire and will collapse any second. but please stop sending ukraine old equipment"
I guess it's more along the lines of "The US will stop sending equipment because it is a dying empire"
It doesn't have to make sense
>technically I could argue the war is going on, even if Russia is pushed back to 1992 borders, if I stage some border skirmish every now and then
This is the best outcome for Ukraine. Russia will never end the war and their claims it'd be too humiliating, but they need to lower it to NK/SK style occasional shelling along a DMZ.
Valery, are you browsing PrepHole during work hours again?
I would just mobilize. They have not actually mobilized anyone who was not already eligible for MANDATORY military service.
Just one mobilization would win the war for Russia. But they cannot mobilize like Ukraine the population would not go along with that.
It would be best to wait for Ukrainian aid to run out and they have depleted their reserves in this counter offensive. Then massive mobilize and take Kiev
>wait for Ukrainian aid to run out
Ivan, I...
>They have not actually mobilized anyone who was not already eligible for MANDATORY military service.
You're right anon, russia isn't using enough geriatrics, women, and children. Surely this shall turn the tides and have no domestic consequences
Women should absolutely be drafted. In Ukraine too
>Your only timeline is that you need to win before Putin dies of old age.
I have Putin killed so he can't die of old age.
Can I just embezzle some money and then shoot myself?
Well, the Baneposter IRL dude ruined the coup option, poopkraine is running out of summer for their counteroffensive of little gain, but that means Russhits are going to have no time for a counter-counter.
I guess try to minimize casualties this winter, and build up and train for a competent (I know) spring offensive.
Meanwhile, offshoring assets wherever I still can and building my own gtfo network for when heckin Putler gets mad at me.
Really aint shit you can do at this point, but try to hold on.
id march on moscow. Could be done before October.
Conscript 2 million russians
Send what remains of my good Spetsnaz that work under the MOD to sabotage Putin's planes, drive Armatas into Moscow, shoot them at anyone who complains. Start backdoor talks with the USA/Britain to agree to a withdrawal if I promise not to be like monke and get the sanctions lifted. Start killing oligarchs and opening trade with the west until the economy improves, let the Euros have some cheap gas for 5-10 years so they forget about Ukraine, groom my successor. In 10-20 years start bullying China for fun in hopes I get more gibs. Die in a Russia with 2 times the population and 20 times the economy.
>Boost the internal security forces like HOMO, make sure they are loyal and well equipped
> use these forces to mobilise EVERYONE
>Dont care if its old babushka or 17yo Grisha gaming in Moscow, you're going to the front comrade
>Banners with Z everywhere, give totaler krieg speeches on red square every day
> everyone who doesnt agree with this fun new direction gets shot, no goelag
By this point the west will conclude that we have lost our minds, wich is exactly what we want them to think
>Get to at least 3 mil mobilised, DONT send them to ukraine
>Line these poor fucks up on NATO borders, escalate, constant NOOK threats
Then at the eleventh hour, just when all seems lost, offer peace terms to the west (to the westen euros first): Russia gets to keep crimea, ukraine gets everything else, fuck luganda and donbabwe.
The west might take that deal and put ukraine in a tough position diplomatically, so ukes MIGHT agree to our deal
"Winning" is easy: just ruin your society and go back to stalin times paranoia and escalate to almost WW3 and MAYBE russia can hold crimea 🙂
more arrows
Nukings of Warsaw. What is chud West of going to do? Fights second super power of world? Xaxaxaxa*~~))
How nuking Warsaw will win you war with ukies?
I nuke Sweden
Putin is a retard but the current Russian GENERAL strategy is their best (and only) shot at victory. Hunker down, fortify the SHIT out of the occupied lands, fight for every inch of territory and prolong the war into 2024, 2025 and 2026, and when Western support for Ukraine (hopefully) ceases, go for round 2.
This plan is retarded, but its safe to say at this point that Russia has lost ALL offensive capability, and simply doesn't have the military industrial complex required to refit their troops anywhere near satisfactory levels.
The best way to win this war is to never have fought it in the first place.
Russian people are suffering in poverty. What they need is a nation that cares and builds up their nation, not endless wars.
It is already the largest nation in the world. There is a reason why Putin fired so many high command, they knew the invasion was a bad idea and were fired by Putin and his criminal billionaire oligarch friends for refusing to comply.
There is the task of securing the nation's borders and the Chechens as well. There is widespread issues with poverty and drugs. People yearn for simple things. Security, freedom, opportunity. The elite want war, on both sides, as it is good for business.
Anyways, here is what I would do:
Withdraw from criminally annexed lands under current mafia regime.
Call in the Cossacks and other rural volunteers, rebel forces from the West.
Make demands for the immediate end to mobilization and to the end of the war.
With rebels re-united within the regular force, march on the Kremlin and take control.
Bring Putin and his mafia friends to trial, unless they flee the nation, install new president.
Someone from the people and the revolution, rather than a coup from a military official.
A regime change, mobilization ended, trade sanctions lifted, fair elections installed.
KGB/FSB pawn wins the elections. Now what?
>What they need is a nation that cares and builds up their nation, not endless wars.
that nation wouldnt be russia anymore. Thus it shall never be
>Promise some Ivans a shitload of money and vodka, stage multiple mass shootings/bombings ISIS style
>Blame it on the Ukies
>Put poison in the Ivans' vodka, silencing them
>Pull 90% of forces from the border regions and hope Ukies take the bait and invade some villages
>Mass mobilization
>Throw every body I can find at Kiev
>Pray to every god I can think of that domestic support and logistics hold out
Bribe Luka to enter the war with a bag of potatos. Start a massive offensive to get ukrop attention then let them luka boys take kyiviev. Oh and resurrect Prigozhin from the dead and give him wagner and a full pardon.
Glass the planet with nukes. Winning.jpg
What happens when you find out that your nuke maintenance budget got pocketed too?
>Some silo doors don't open
>You're in luck the rockets don't light too
>The ones that finally do spin and break apart over your own territory just after triggering everyone's launch warning
>Spaghetti pouring out of your pockets
Jump out the fucking window before the FSB does me in minutes later the same way in their attempt to get a new croonie on the board.
Russia is already doing what it can to win: evading sanctions and ramping up industry, stockpiling standoff PGMs for another crack at a winter infrastructure strike, strong defensive lines to keep Ukraine at bay while the government and MoD works out schemes for boosting force generation short of a general mobilization. They really want to avoid agitating the important Russians so they need to get in numbers via alternative measures, something they’re working frantically on.
>shopping spree in whatever shithole countries are willing to sell, buy anything I can get my hands on
>conscript ~3 million mobiks, anyone between 15 and 60 that can conceivably carry a rusty AK gets grabbed
>volkssturm from the south and east, try to grab everything east of dniepr
>if they grab a bunch of land: every mobik possible digs in, make it no man's land for any possible counterattack
>if they fail: oh well, it was hopeless anyway
grabbing extra cannon fodder from africa and so on could be useful but it's not like I care about russians and there's plenty of them around. the country goes into starving-africans-tier recession for 30 years afterwards, but that sure doesn't sound like my problem.
First thing I'll get back Surovikin and cancel Shoigu and Gerasimov
Kek. How much propaganda copium do you have to inhale daily to come up with these answers? This place is worse than Reddit, holy shit.
first order of business is to detonate a dirty bomb in rostov-on-don. blame it on the ukes but refuse to launch retaliatory strikes and claim moral superiority. instead i use it as justification to mobilize everything and everyone without causing as many riots. dissidents get free tickets to siberia. buy up equipment from whatever is willing to sell to me. pull every vehicle I can from storage, including T-14s, T-10s and IS-3s. force belarus to either join the war or leave the CSTO. either way, station troops in their country and push for kiev again. we can lose the south and east as long as we take kiev. combine massed missile stikes with air strikes to try and overwhelm the city. I'm betting on the ukes surrendering if they lose it. if we fail to take it after two months I head to the black sea and swim for turkey.
1) Send Shoigu on a permament SIberian vacation
2) Start mass recruiting morons from Africa
3) Use the morons in human wave tactics with experienced units on the flanks, just like in Bakhmut
4) morons reproduce faster than they die so unlimited morons
5) Spam morons until you win and enter Lvov
Well, I'm supposed to be a Russian leader so the answer is obvious.
Offer to end the war and withdraw from Ukraine completely. In exchange, the West unfreezes all the Russian assets that they have frozen and transfers them all to my personal account. After that retirement somewhere nice I guess?
Failing that, keep the war going for as long as possible until I embezzle a couple of billion. Then retirement somewhere nice.