You are given a turf and 50 million yen in cash by your boss in Osaka, who tells you to start a yakuza family in Tokyo.

You are given a turf and 50 million yen in cash by your boss in Osaka, who tells you to start a yakuza family in Tokyo. How do you equip and train your men so that some random person can't just waltz in and shoot you to death?

  1. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Just take the money, and have Beat Takeshi help me start a Yakuza version of Takeshi's Castle.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Based painful eliminations of the day enjoyer.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Based painful eliminations of the day enjoyer.

      I see you're people of culture as well

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >Trying to get into your HQ is so much fun hitmen who pass it will intentionally miss with all their shots so they have to do it over again after they get more ammo
      >Then whoops haha wrong ammo for this gun I guess I gotta do it again!

  2. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    live by the sword

  3. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Isn’t that like twelve dollars

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      it's like $340k

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      divide yen by 100 and you have a guestimate

  4. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Why bother? Kiryu will just beat me up and then piss off back to his orphanage no matter what I try.

  5. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    What's the Yakuza scene like in Osaka?

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I'm pretty sure it's yakuza central. My gramps ended up owing them money for banging a hooker there.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      So I've not dealt with yaks directly, but my wife has had to (her mother was a gokutsuma, a Japanese gun moll, for a time). Believe me or don't I don't care, but this is all stuff I've heard from her and her mother.
      Yakuza are fucked. After the wars of the 1980s and the Kyushu boys wilin' out too much, the police have far greater powers to investigate, and financial institutions who deal with them can get fucked in the ass for even letting a known Yakuza member get a bank account. Extortion (mikajime and soukaiya) is dying out and they focus more on fraud, scams, and trafficking now. They're increasingly old and desperate and from what I understand the younger ones are increasingly either just thieves or fraud/cyber criminals. Yakuza in the entertainment industry is also pretty much dead now. A lot of the porno industry is increasingly legit, owned by large corporations.
      >and 50 million yen in cash by your boss
      Chump change for Osaka but doable. Their buildings are quite small but they are often quite security hardened. Armored doors, many camera systems. A typical attack is lobbing a grenade through an open window or a driveby.

      Yakuza activity is down everywhere. Regardless, Osaka was always a hotspot. Yamaguchigumi fragmenting means that are likely opportunities there. Dwindling ones but nonetheless.

      Buy off a JSDF facility in the middle of nowher Gifu prefecture. Run a legitimate business in Tokyo and do all my hoodrat shit out in the countryside.

      >buying off state assets with that little money while you can't even get a legit bank account due to the laws
      Yeah nah

      >50 million yen

      You can't even buy a half-decent middle class cuckshed in Tokyo for that you idiot.

      Yeah you can. It's not the 80s anymore. Still, not enough for any kind of grand headquarters.
      Anyway. This is a weapons board. You'll get guns through corrupt contacts in Vladivostok, straw purchases in the USA, and backyard Filipino gunsmiths. The "Dosu" (tanto) is the signature Yakuza weapon, but sword control law makes them hard to come by nowadays if you're not a legit collector, so I imagine a lot will be using knockoffs. Maybe some yaks are making "Yamagami specials" now. Who knows?

  6. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    idk I guess a bunch of baseball bats and swords

  7. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I respectfully tell my boss that I appreciate the faith and esteem he has in me and I appreciate the opportunity he's giving me, but I don't know the first thing about running an organized crime ring and I think someone else should be in charge.
    But if it's "just do it or I'll cut your pinky finger off." I'm going to show nippon the wonders of leather jackets, switchblades and greased hair. They've already got rock n' roll so that's one less item to crowbar in.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous
  8. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    tape a bunch of glocks under the table so Omar Epps and I can shoot the mexicans

  9. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Buy off a JSDF facility in the middle of nowher Gifu prefecture. Run a legitimate business in Tokyo and do all my hoodrat shit out in the countryside.

  10. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    3D print a bunch of FGC-9s and arm my men with them. Also give them cut resistant shirts. That will automatically give my men a huge advantage over other Yakuza families. Most of them don't use guns, or if they do they are used very sparingly.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Better yet; destabilize yakuza rule by printing up as many of these as you can and start introducing them to zed tier criminals in the districts controlled by rival gangs. Bonus points if you can start funneling in fent, too.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Standing out like that sounds like a great way to make everyone, including the authorities, gang up to hammer you down.

      Better yet; destabilize yakuza rule by printing up as many of these as you can and start introducing them to zed tier criminals in the districts controlled by rival gangs. Bonus points if you can start funneling in fent, too.

      Yakuza rule is already destabilized, and fading fast. Membership numbers are in hard decline, and as recruitment in particular is suffering really bad (the bosozoku "nursery" is basically just flat out gone for example) the average age of those who remain is starting to get outright geriatric.

      Armies of lawyers, politicians, locksmiths, cops, judges, dockworkers and warehouse personnel on my payroll.

      Also, a private resort on an island where I invite VIPs, CEOs etc to spend some quality time with top-tier hookers, some who are considerably under 18yrs-old, with everything being secretly recorded of course

      Trying to get all of that with ~50 000 USD and your resort will likely end up being more Fyre than Epstein, etc.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        They really need to get with the times. Yeah the old-school biker gang doesn't exist anymore but there are still plenty of disillusioned youth with shitty future prospects, no father figure in their life, etc, which have traditionally been the source of young recruits for the yakuza. The difference is today those people can be found online rather than hanging around in public. The customer base for the Yakuza--people who want sex, gambling, drugs, loans, etc, is only growing.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          The disillusioned youth of today don't want to start doing household chores at the arse end of the strict yakuza hierarchy. Especially since the yakuza's loss of visibility, prestige and youth has taken a lot of shine out of the supposed reward at the other end of the heyazumi and shatei hustle. And the executives aren't going to make any real changes to that, they didn't suffer through being at the bottom to not getting to enjoy the newcomer's subservience now that they're on top.

          >Membership numbers
          It's all off the books stuff anon. They have official offices and whatnot, but the anti yakuza laws have just made things less publicized and more underground.

          While it has made crime a lot more off the books, informal and underground, that also means crime has gotten a lot less, well, yakuza.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >Membership numbers
        It's all off the books stuff anon. They have official offices and whatnot, but the anti yakuza laws have just made things less publicized and more underground.

  11. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    what are we doing as yakuza?
    Selling drugs? Astroturfing "Idol" singers? Strong-arming businesses? Smuggling weapons? Filming JAV and recruiting young women to the adult industry?

    It really fucking depends because some require you to have control over warehouses and ports, therefore surveillance and guns and armor to use against hard targets.
    others require you to have a presence in town and around shopping districts and schools, so bats, knives, rope and chains, lots of chains, to use on softer targets
    and some require you to force your way into recruitment for business, scalp employees from other firms, network with foreign companies, and most of your money goes into shell companies, taxes, fees, office space, and all that bullshit to cover your tracks and seem like a legitimate business

    If its just your weeb anime bullshit yakuza i'd just get everyone a helmet, a motorcycle, a revolver, and we'd rob cars and bystanders while ambushing cops until the money runs dry

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      If it's uncensored porn, 50 million yen starting cash ain't cutting it, since IIRC you have to produce it outside Japan via a non-Japanese shell company, so you'll need to fly to a foreign location, plus all the ancillary admin staff hires.

      Uncensored hanime may be easier to pull off, but I think it still has to be done via a shell company, and, of course, the potential profit is lower (unless it's phenomenally-well made hanime, we're talking Bible Black/La Blue Girl/Urotsukidouji golden-age-of-hanime-tier story and production values, which don't come cheap).

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >you have to produce it outside Japan via a non-Japanese shell company, so you'll need to fly to a foreign location, plus all the ancillary admin staff hires
        They just use Hong Kong where it's all legal and wages are still pretty low.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >since IIRC you have to produce it outside Japan
        If you were following the law, yeah. But it's not like the Yakuza is known for that.

        >potential profit from hanime
        I doubt that even the high-dollar productions pay off. The last super-high-budget H anime I can think of was Front Innocent and it wasn't exactly a cash cow.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Does all uncensored JAV have to be filmed outside Japan? I'm pretty sure companies the big companies that make uncensored JAV film in Japan.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        God why do the Jap's hate porn so much. It's like their number one cultural export.

        Imagine if Americans hated hamburgers this much.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >God why do the Jap's hate porn so much. It's like their number one cultural export.

          They don't want to be known for that. It's why the one-piece mizugi isn't used in Japanese high schools anymore: perverts exploited that one particular design.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Most countries would kill for that level of soft power man. Don't you think that Sudan would rather be known for its porn than its poverty and infighting?

            I say lean into your strengths man.

  12. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >50 million yen

    You can't even buy a half-decent middle class cuckshed in Tokyo for that you idiot.

  13. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I don't train anyone. I hire already seasoned professionals.

  14. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Well it’s japan so the cops literally wouldn’t shoot you unless you are actively in the middle of killing someone. There’s not much to worry about.

  15. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    OP is either a Zoomer who just played Yakuza 0. Or a Baby Boomer/GenXr who's been living under a rock since the late 80s, and didn't know about the Japanese Crash of the 90s until now.

  16. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    The yakuza is actually very limited in its firepower.
    I bring Detroit-style gang on gang brutality to the table and drag anybody who gets in my way into a basement wet-room.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      kek imagine dropping American moron gangs in Japan and letting them run wild against the Yakuza. I don't even have an idea what would happen but shit would be funny.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        I hope, really hope that the Japs would fuck them up, kill them all, every single one. Asians are pragmatic, they know a cancer when they see one, and I'm sure they'd act accordingly.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Take a shower, Rupert

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Most countries would kill for that level of soft power man. Don't you think that Sudan would rather be known for its porn than its poverty and infighting?

        I say lean into your strengths man.

        The Yakuza actually scoop up most of the mixed race kids in Japan. This is why you play as Ichiban in Yakuza: Like a Dragon, a half-black half-japanese man who is the son of a prostitute and a random john raised in a soapland until he dropped out of middle-school.

        The Yakuza series in particular tends to take a magnifying glass to the sections of Japanese society that they like to pretend doesn't exist, like the Chinese-Japanese, or Korean-Japanese, sex workers, the homeless, etc.

        Same reason organized crime happens in every country. Ethnic minorities are deprived of societal acceptment and advancement, so they band together and set up informal (ie illegal) economies to earn a paycheck.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Second response meant for

          I hope, really hope that the Japs would fuck them up, kill them all, every single one. Asians are pragmatic, they know a cancer when they see one, and I'm sure they'd act accordingly.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Ichiban isn't half black wtf

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            They talk about it in the first hour of the game. Did you think he was just a tan japanese guy with funky hair?

            • 3 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              >Did you think he was just a tan japanese guy with funky hair?
              His barber fucked up his hairstyle, because nobody knows how to do it anymore.

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                Yeah, cause she's never worked with black people hair, she even mentions that 'I've never worked with your kind of hair before' when she apologizes for the bad haircut.

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                He's not biracial. The only other times characters have been non-Japanese or half-Japanese, they always made a big song and dance about it, like the black kid at the orphanage or all the Chinese or all the Chinese or Korean characters who mention it all the time.
                The stylist fucked up his hairstyle because he wanted a punch perm (popular before he went to prison) and they had never done it before (it's out of fashion nowadays).

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                This moron either never finished the game or is just fucking with you. Stop falling for the bait.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >deprived of societal acceptment
          >illegal economies to earn a paycheck
          Fuck that, low IQ coupled with abuse within families makes horrible and violent people predisposed to crime.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Right. Cause we all know the Italians are genetically low IQ. Hence the crime.

            • 3 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              Italian doctors, lawyers, teachers, engineers didn't flock to America, the low skilled, low class, poorly educated did, and believe it or not social class is a very good indicator of IQ.

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                Yeah I'm not a classist.

                Point being the Italians formed gangs alongside the Irish and other immigrant populations back when they were put into the slums of the big cities. But once they started making middle class lifestyles as the anti-immigrant fervor of the day subsided, the power of those mobs dissapated and went away (at least in the US).

                Same is true of every community. People only turn to crime cause they're poor. Or rather if they're rich, they do rich-people crime like trying to sell NFT's.

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                >Italian organized crime dissipated
                Given the cultural background a lot of them came from, it's no surprise that their criminal activities have persisted. It may surprise you to know that Italy also has a problem with organized crime.

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                Well yeah. I would assume Italy isn't a utopian country where no italians do any crimes in Italy.

                It may surprise you to know this, but there are Americans in America who do crime, and Chinese in China who do crime.

                Crime isn't something genetic unless you wanna say '100% of crime on earth is done by human beings' in which case, yeah I suppose it is genetic then. Like driving cars.

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                There is a considerable cultural element to it, and not all poor people just do a crime to get by. There is a subset of particularly nasty people who are inclined toward it, and they tend not to be very bright and also rather violent.

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                Maybe. And I agree most criminals tend to be dumb- most people think past step one and figure they're likely to be caught if they commit a crime.

                But that sort of opportunistic crime is very different from the phenomena of organized crime- which I maintain is largely economic in function. After all, why work the same job for the same pay, but one job means the Cops are much more likely to arrest you? Unless crime pays more than an honest days work? Does anyone ever do crime because it'll pay worse than a 9-5?

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                >low skilled, low class, poorly educated did
                (You) are not low skilled, low class or poorly educated, because of your IQ, (You) are low skilled, low class and poorly educated because your parents are.

  17. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I give him a confused face because all of my anime training hasnt prepared me to understand the Kansai dialect

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      The greatest romance anime of all time is in Kansai-ben

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Sorry I didnt watch Boku no Pico

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Fist of the North Star?

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          U are already dead

          NANI

  18. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Bicycles and energy drinks.

  19. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >50 million yen in cash by your boss in Osaka, who
    That's like $3000 in real money.
    >How do you equip and train your men
    Random black market weapons
    Airsoft games but the team that loses gets water boarded so they feel the adrenaline while shooting each other

  20. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    There is likely severe competition in Tokyo already, and that's only about $340k USD. Instead, I use the money to put the men through police training, so they gain firearms training, employment, and connections as police officers. The gang can then securely operate in jurisdictions where police surveillance is done by covert gang members.

  21. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Forgot to ask, does it have to be current-day, or can we choose the time period this takes place in?

  22. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I start a junior idols studio

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      33-34 years ago, if you were yakuza, you could just produce soft pizza and camouflage it as "art photo books".

  23. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Trick question, Japan has some of the most strict gun control laws in the world so I'm completely safe 🙂

  24. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Armies of lawyers, politicians, locksmiths, cops, judges, dockworkers and warehouse personnel on my payroll.

    Also, a private resort on an island where I invite VIPs, CEOs etc to spend some quality time with top-tier hookers, some who are considerably under 18yrs-old, with everything being secretly recorded of course

  25. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Outrage 1 and 2 were boring by-the-numbers gangster movies and I'm tired of pretending otherwise

  26. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Well first of all. I don't advertise my family's location by putting the name of the gang in big fucking letters over some office building. We go underground like triads or traditional mafias do. We don't wear pins with our gang symbol or dress like typical gangsters. We run the "head office" out of a traditional square business like a restaurant or something. No easy target. Then I fly them to Okinawa and pay off some sleazebag marines to sell them weapons and training. Simple as

  27. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I kill myself immediately

  28. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Do something to exploit the manlet status of your rivals

  29. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Yakuza are almost all zainichis especially at the boss levels

  30. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    change my identity and run away with the money. Thats what you get for trusting yakuza oyabun

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