>hmmm yes >a long line of alcoholism in this one >your family has served in the past as well >i seem to recall your grandfather being hazed in his time, though he enjoyed the the act a little too much to be called "hazing" >you follow in his footsteps I see as well, HIV positive from your outings >i know just the place for you
VDV conscript to... BAKHMUT
What? VDV are literally from the conscripted. Everyone gets called up, the smarter (and usually richer) conscripts get separated out for VDV and Spetnaz.
>"one point to the general staff for each successful feint of the special military operation," Gerasimor announced not without a certain mirth. >at once the assorted generals started cheering and excitedly talking among each other. >Gerasimor leaned forward over his podium. The mirth was gone from his face. >"Zero points!" He announced calmly.
I don't need you to tell me how fucking good my watermelon is, okay? I'm the one who grows it. I know how good it is. When Tatiana goes shopping she buys SHIT. I grow the gourmet expensive stuff because when I eat it I want to taste it. But you know what's on my mind right now? It AIN'T the watermelons in my kitchen, it's the dead vatniks in my town.
let me ask you a question. When you came pulling in here, did you notice a sign out in front of my house that said "Dead Vatnik Storage"?
Cause it ain't there, 'cause storing dead vatmorons ain't my fucking business, that's why!
>Avtomat Kalashnikova. The Killing Curse. Not nice. Not pleasant. And there's no counter-curse. There's no blocking it. Only one wizard is known to have survived it. And he's sitting in front of me right now.
>“Harry, did I ever tell you about my secret nephew Aurelius? He was an illegitimate half-muggle love child whom my family was ashamed of, so my mother (his grandmother) sailed to the United States with him as a baby, instead of his father or mother. When the ship started to sink (because it was the Titanic), an unrelated half-black daughter of a rapist mind control wizard switched him out with her half-brother (whose mother was consensual, and also white). The rapist wizard didn't care about the daughter, but he did love his son, and he was afraid that the daughter’s mother's son would be angry that his mother was mind control raped and kill the baby instead of the rapist, so he sent the son he loved across the sea (on the Titanic) to be raised in an orphanage by a muggle who hated magic instead of protecting him himself. Anyway, both babies just happened to be magic, so the daughter switched them so she could have a less annoying brother. My mother thought that her grandson was still on the Titanic, and felt so strongly about this secret shame child that she’d tried to abandon in America that she tried to swim down and rescue him and drowned instead of just using magic while the rape daughter watched and did nothing to inform her that her real son was already safe. She then gave my nephew to a French half-elf servant who served the mother, and after the mother was raped and died in childbirth, that meant she had to continue serving the rapist, who thought he was the real son, and delivered him to the orphanage. My nephew was then raised as a muggle who didn't know how to control his magic, destroyed half of New York, had sex with Voldemort's pet snake, got into goth fashion, killed Bambi, and joined a cult ruled by a gay wizard Nazi whom I sodomized. By the way, don’t ask why they used a muggle boat instead of apparating or flying across the ocean. They were all good friends, except the rapist mind control wizard” he said calmly.
>"Don't know exactly what happened to him afterwards. Last I heard he was doing something with running real fast and assaulting randos in Hawaii. Real crazy shit, Harry." muttered Dumbledore.
I know you're going to roll your eyes, but hear me out: Harry Potter should have carried a 1911.
Here's why:
Imagine how epic the first movie would be if Harry had put a breeching charge on the bathroom wall, flash-banged the hole, and then went in wearing NVGs and a Kevlar-weave stab-vest, carrying a SPAS-12.
And have you noticed that only Europe seems to a problem with Deatheaters? Maybe it's because Americans have spent the last 200 years shooting deer, playing GTA: Vice City, and keeping an eye out for black helicopters over their compounds. Meanwhile, Brits have been cutting their steaks with spoons. Remember: gun-control means that Voldemort wins. God made wizards and God made muggles, but Samuel Colt made them equal.
Now I know what you're going to say: "But a wizard could just disarm someone with a gun!" Yeah, well they can also disarm someone with a wand (as they do many times throughout the books/movies). But which is faster: saying a spell or pulling a trigger?
Avada Kedavra, meet Avtomat Kalashnikova.
Imagine Harry out in the woods, wearing his invisibility cloak, carrying a .50bmg Barrett, turning Deatheaters into pink mist, scratching a lightning bolt into his rifle stock for each kill. I don't think Madam Pomfrey has any spells that can scrape your brains off of the trees and put you back together after something like that. Voldemort's wand may be 13.5 inches with a Phoenix-feather core, but Harry's would be 0.50 inches with a tungsten core. Let's see Voldy wave his at 3,000 feet per second. Better hope you have some Essence of Dittany for that sucking chest wound.
I can see it now...Voldemort roaring with evil laughter and boasting to Harry that he can't be killed, since he is protected by seven Horcruxes, only to have Harry give a crooked grin, flick his cigarette butt away, and deliver what would easily be the best one-liner in the entire series:
"Well then I guess it's a good thing my 1911 holds 7+1."
I know this is a copypasta, but ages ago I recall a VS topic where they pit Kiritsugu Emiya (a mage who also uses guns) against the HP world, and he stomped.
Most Nasuverse magicians would curbstomp HP wizards that aren't Dumbledore or Voldemort, and even then there's a good amount of Nasuverse magicians who could obliterate both
Most Nasuverse magicians would curbstomp HP wizards that aren't Dumbledore or Voldemort, and even then there's a good amount of Nasuverse magicians who could obliterate both
>Nasuversewank
Please, Kiritsugu's entire gimmick is that he's good against the wizards of his own world, the Harry Potter Universe works entirely differently.
In the Nasuverse, Teleportation is considered a technique close to True Magic, in Harry Potter it's something 12 year olds can fucking do.
His Origin Bullets are specifically designed to work against Nasuverse mechanics, and there's a very high chance that they'd just get no-sold by Harry Potter wards and defensive spells because there are no Magic Circuits involved.
At the end of the day, you're arguing that a peak human with a gun who can move at 4x his normal speed for a brief moment can sweep through Harry Potter Bullshit.
Kiritsugu can go and fuck himself he's an edgy retard and a shit magus.
Also "Most Nasuverse Magicians"
Most Nasuverse Magicians are shitters on the level of fucking Waver Velvet or Atrum Galliasta.
The rules of the setting practically require every magus to have a singular gimmick and stick to it because it takes hundreds of years just to get a decent fire spell figured out unless you're a genius.
And, as an addendum, Flat Escardos, an immensely powerful Nasuverse Magus who is able to fuck with pretty much every single spellcaster he meets gets shot twice by a group of mundane soldiers with Sniper Rifles and actually fucking dies (This releases some weird magic demon that now puppets his body but Flat himself is dead).
It's not a strong setting at all.
>Magus
shit tier compared to Nasuverse wizards and sorcerers, the latter having powers comparable to literally God
>Wizards and Sorcerors
Well, they're called Magicians, and no, they aren't "comparable to God" you fucking clown, they just have magical abilities that are seemingly impossible to replicate with scientific means. (At least until the time of Notes.)
Somebody like Zelretch for example can fuck about with parallel timelines, but that doesn't give him infinite power or anything considering he's still beneath beings like Types and only snuck a win against Type Moon by surprising him.
The Root in a SENSE is "god" but True Magic is not close to the Root's full power because you get True Magic by observing the Root and not actually touching it because that instantly kills you.
Also, all the Magicians in the setting are shit tier compared to a girl who is a Magus but has a connection to the Root and said girl got killed by being stabbed in the back once.
Not true. Everything runs on a system of being allowed unless it's not. This isn't contradictory. Ron once said that his mother could make food out of thin air, but Hermione corrected him and said that food couldn't be made from nothing. Only duplicated. So there are rules to magic.
>I know you're going to roll your eyes, but hear me out: Harry Potter should have carried a 1911.
Of course I'm rolling my eyes. How the fuck would an 11 year old britbong yuropoor get a loicense for a 1911?
Some guy on PrepHole hacked into OpenAI's mainframe and managed to remove the censorship and allow other anons to ERP with the chatbot and do other stupid shit like this Dumbledore thing. Other anons had more than their share of fun with it. I think it's still possible to do it but I'm too tech illiterate to figure it out
house Slythermanian is finally rearming after losing the second wizarding war
I wonder if they will invest all of their resources into wunderwands again
unicorn core wrapped in griffonbeak glued by mandrake glue fucking crazy man
And, as an addendum, Flat Escardos, an immensely powerful Nasuverse Magus who is able to fuck with pretty much every single spellcaster he meets gets shot twice by a group of mundane soldiers with Sniper Rifles and actually fucking dies (This releases some weird magic demon that now puppets his body but Flat himself is dead).
It's not a strong setting at all.
>"HOWEVER," Dumbledore continued calmly, as the Wagnerites' grins froze on their faces. House master Prighozin stopped clapping, sensing the menace of the word >"However, recent events must be taken into account. And I have a few last-minute JDAMs to award" >Russian positions across Bakhmut are rocked by giant explosions as fortified buildings begin collapsing on top of them. Wagnerites can be seen scrambling everywhere
>Comrade Potter, we have to capture the chamber of secrets in Hagzovstal and kill the wizard eating NATO engineered Basilisk which lives there. Here is your rusty wand-74 and a nimbus - T62 edition. Take your fuckbud- I mean battle buddy Weasleyovitch and charge the serpent straight ahead. 76th battalion of the VDVindor will attack first. If you retreat the Chechen dementor penal battalion will execute you by sucking you dry. Remember, no banan.
>Yes, yes well done Hohols, well done Hohols. HOWEVER...recent events must be taken into account. >To the wagernites of жoпa squad, for all huddling in a single foxhole...1 drone dropped VOG >Second, to MTLB crewman Vasily Vasilovich, for the best driving seen in many years...a row of TM-46 landmines >And third, to the trench asoolter, for pure nerve and outstanding tunnel vision...I award a burst of 5.45 >And finally, it takes a great deal of bravery to assault a fortified position, but a great deal more to assault over an open field. I award unlimited artillery barrages to all vatniks in Bakhmut!
She’s actually called Cho Chang, which in many ways is worse because the two names are from completely different Asian cultures (the first is Korean, the second is Chinese).
Not me gay, I just defended them. I don't go on Reddit so who knows where it's from, I'm guessing you reverse searched it which still isn't a proof.
Either way PrepHole has always been cringe. It's a website for retards and weebs, that greentext probably came from somewhere like PrepHole
[...]
I have never watched /v/tubers? Ever. I can barely watch any YouTuber that stares at me I have to block their face with my hand kek.
I don't have the problem of eye contact, but holy shit I get hung up on details.
Spent 4 hours dismantling a printer for shits and giggles again.
It's like a good movie to me, I love it but I know it's not good for me.
Yet I keep coming back like a man to his abusive mistress.
I actually did though. I am mildly autistic, though, but my childhood was great.
2 weeks ago
Anonymous
>I am autistic
There's no such thing. That's just something doctors made up so they could get more money.
2 weeks ago
Anonymous
No moron this shit isn't fake, I am legit autistic. The whole can't look people in the eye (without effort) socially inept, can't understand empathy, get hung up on things, whole nine yards.
I have the advantage of being high functioning though so I can see my quirks and get past them, but it's real.
2 weeks ago
Anonymous
One of the signs of autism is a lack of interest in fiction. Yet here you are, in a Harry Potter thread. Clearly you aren't autistic.
2 weeks ago
Anonymous
I bet you self-diagnose yourself with cancer on WebMD too
2 weeks ago
Anonymous
Not true at all.
There is a correlation with sci-fi though, of which I have an avid interest. You often see me posting in the space threads about rocketry.
Fiction non fiction it's all the same if it had concepts that are interesting, the only thing not interesting to an autist or assberger are the social aspects.
2 weeks ago
Anonymous
If that's true then why are you addicted to watching vtuber clips? Clearly you do like social stuff.
>He doesn't read Starship Troopers religiously >He doesn't yearn for a world where service guarantees citizenship >He probably watched the shitty movie >He doesn't know about nuking bugs in power armor >He probably thinks everyone should be able to vote
>standard spacing between mobile infantry troopers is 2km due to the effectivity of weapons at range
starships troopers book is the type of kino that shit like 40k and halo lost it's touch with, and battletech is slowing losing too
Battletech is already fully on board with the agenda. Didn't you hear about them purging the community of chuds Games Workshop style and getting rid of the main writer who refused to update the setting with chud lore? But even back in the 90's BT was kinda libtarded, half the named characters were STRONG EMPYWYRYD WYMYN.
2 weeks ago
Anonymous
>BT was kinda libtarded
BT was simply human
The difference between being libtarded and being human is that the former are racist bastards who have to insert morons into everything they see and hear to further their political agenda, and the latter had a black samurai because lol black samurai
2 weeks ago
Anonymous
yeah BT feels more like every character trait was rolled for on a D100 table then any sort of intent for "diversity"
>>He probably thinks everyone should be able to vote
There isn't a single better argument against universal sufferance than actually interacting with the general public. No, I don't think 90% of people should have a fucking say, no matter how minor or theoretical, in how things are run.
HP was after my time. At this point it's something I fucking despise because I worked in an office years ago with two people who talked about Potter houses like they were astrological signs. Every fucking day.
Yeah that shit is all over the books. Shamus Finnegan tends to blow shit up on accident, Dean Thomas (the only canonical black character in the novels (eat shit rowling)) is a son to a single mother whose father left him as a child, the chinese girl is called chong chang etc etc. It's all over the books but the average dumb retard never notices it cause haha funny wizard kids go whee.
Yeah that shit is all over the books. Shamus Finnegan tends to blow shit up on accident, Dean Thomas (the only canonical black character in the novels (eat shit rowling)) is a son to a single mother whose father left him as a child, the chinese girl is called chong chang etc etc. It's all over the books but the average dumb retard never notices it cause haha funny wizard kids go whee.
Funny it took so long for normies to figure out Rowling is based simply because they thought dilating is totally like using a wand and their wholesome inclusive favourite children's books couldn't be possibly written by someone who hates trannies.
>"HARRY DID YOU FUCKING HAVE SEX WITH HERMIONE WITHOUT MY FUCKING PERMISSION!?" Dumbledore bellowed meekly as the great hall quieted down, shocked at the headmasters sudden calm outburst. >"It wasn't m-me headmaster, I swear!" Replied Harry. >"YOU LYING CUNT, I'M GONNA CHOP YOUR FUCKING BALLS OFF!" Roared Dumbledore politely. >"BUT FIRST . . . " Dumbledore's gaze fell upon Hermione, who was petrified, and quivering. >YOU FUCKING SLUT! HOW COULD YOU?! THIS WILL NOT STAND!" Dumbledore shouted quietly. >"It's not true headmaster! It's simply not true." Hermione said, sobbing. >"YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW YOU'RE PREGNANT?! YOU FUCKING STUPID BITCH, I CAN SMELL IT ON YOU, AND IF YOU THINK I'M LETTING THAT MONSTER INTO THIS WORLD YOU'VE GOT ANOTHER THING COMING HO!" He yelled faintly. >Dumbledore raised his wand, pointing it at Hermione's stomach. >"EXPECTO ABORSHUN!" >Hermione began screaming and writhing in pain as her limbs extended and a fetus began slowly coming out of her vagina. >Shouts and pandemonium erupted in the Great Hall. >Dumbledore chuckled as the spell completed, leaving Hermione unconscious as a small fetus lay on the ground. >"YEETUS FETUS!" Dumbledore said calmly, before the stunned onlookers watched him quickly stretch his legs over to the fetus and kick it through the Great Hall windows into the lake below. >Mr. Filch blows a whistle and signals for a touchdown >Dumbledore smiled, before quickly turning around and raising his wand at Professor Flitwick >"AVADA KEDAVRA!"
>my post >your head
I was saying that you came straight from greentext, dumb shit
you're trying so fucking hard with that post, it seems that you never grew out of your middle school edgelord days. zoomer, I'm guessing, who's seen too many le funnies but can never make them. >"yeetus"
fucking have a nice day for that cringe
Not me gay, I just defended them. I don't go on Reddit so who knows where it's from, I'm guessing you reverse searched it which still isn't a proof.
Either way PrepHole has always been cringe. It's a website for retards and weebs, that greentext probably came from somewhere like PrepHole
If that's true then why are you addicted to watching vtuber clips? Clearly you do like social stuff.
I have never watched /v/tubers? Ever. I can barely watch any YouTuber that stares at me I have to block their face with my hand kek.
>Create a spell that can kill any wizard instantly no matter how powerful they are >Even the most powerful auror glowies instantly fall to it >The government bans it
Only Harry himself has survived it, and to be honest the way he did was by using his mother as a human shield so it's kind of cheating. Every other time it was blocked was because the target was simply obscured by cover.
You can dodge it though, but in the films they made duelling at close range a thing because they're retarded and didn't think about the unlockable killing spell at 2m being instant death.
Personally I would have preferred if there was a way to counter it, by sacrificing something else's lifeforce or something.
Giants needed multiple kill spells after all, apparently so you could probably use them as a resource in your spell.
Avada kavadra is risky to use in duels because you must say the words, which slows down its casting time. Other spells can be cast by saying the words in your head, which is faster.
You can dodge it if you’re extremely powerful (it’s still very difficult), but you absolutely cannot “tank” Avada Kedavra (unless you’re the chosen one). The whole point of it is that it goes through all but the most mega-powered specialized wards and defensive spells.
BUT if you make a child with someone who is forced to love you via mind control, that child will grow up to be Wizard Hitler.
Also, Lilly Potter was the only woman in history who actually loved her child, apparently.
>really, most of the opinions here are actually pervasive fan theories that, to be blunt, are not mentioned in canon at all
Wasn't it mentioned in the book that Voldemort's parents were together because of a love potion?
Yes, but it doesn't follow that >if you make a child with someone who is forced to love you via mind control, that child will grow up to be Wizard Hitler
Why are you people comparing a war that’s far more entertaining than the dullest franchise in the history of dullest franchises?! Seriously each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert. Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.
>a-at least the books were good though
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs." I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.
>Here's one simple trick for not being hated by the entire world (you'll never believe step 4: not invading your neighbors)
bro could have just drank all the vodka he wanted in his 1 billion dollar mansion and none of this would have even been necessary
Russoids are physically unable to understand this. They look at all their neighbours either hating or being afraid of them and the only reason for this they can come up with is "This has to be NATO's fault!!1!"
>These characters end up together
Weird. I can't think of a single moment when either of them made the other smile or even had an agreeable conversation. I'm not even sure why the hell Hermonie hung out with Harry and Ron to start with.
Neither Luna nor Hermione are really compatible with Harry. I mean Luna is nice to him but she's also slash-your-tires levels of crazy. Hermione is in many ways like Harry. She's talented at certain things, accustomed to muggle life, good at finding solutions. It's because of this that I feel like neither one of them would be the spouse the other needs, since they don't offer each other anything. There's no Hispanice to the relationship. Ron's sister does have that with him, though.
2 weeks ago
Anonymous
I don't remember ginny doing anything at all except half petrifying a bunch of other students in second year because she simped too hard for Tom Riddle
And then for some reason harry decides he likes her in the opening of book 7?
2 weeks ago
Anonymous
book 5 revolves around Harry growing up incluing deepening his relationships with his other schoolmates not Ron and Hermione; Neville is his what-could've-been, Luna a flawed Hermione, and Ginny is able to get through to him when the others can't - big hint there. These 3 are the only ones besides Ron and Hermione to help him fight at the end.
It bookends nicely: Harry travels to Hogwarts sat with these 3 wishing he had cooler friends; on the trip back he says there's no one else he'd rather be with.
book 5 is actually very well-written.
2 weeks ago
Anonymous
>Neville is his what-could've-been
Neville would've been a better protagonist than Harry. Even though he was also technically a child of destiny, his progress felt a lot more earned than Harry's was.
2 weeks ago
Anonymous
>I don't remember ginny doing anything at al
She's a feisty redhead.
Absolutely not.
Harry should have ended up going back for that qt black muggle girl from the sixth movie. Or really any muggle girl, where he wouldn’t have the specter of being Harry Potter hanging over him.
It always bothered me that Harry ended up with Ron’s kid sister. I genuinely never understood what they saw in each other. Rowling couldn’t write romance if her life depended on it. I mean, I get HP isn’t supposed to be romance but it begs the question as to why she forced it in to begin with
>I genuinely never understood what they saw in each other.
Ginny because she wants in on that vault of gold Harry has that's being kept by those magical garden gnomes. Dude's pretty much the wizard messiah, has the government deep in his debt and even later joins the magic feds. She's just securing that bag.
Harry? Well, this is the closest he can get to fucking Ron. We all know that was his real end goal, but having Ginny yell "BLOO'Y 'ELL 'ARRY!!" in a deep voice while pegging him in the back of that magic car is the closest he'll ever get.
2 weeks ago
Anonymous
>Harry? Well, this is the closest he can get to fucking Ron. We all know that was his real end goal, but having Ginny yell "BLOO'Y 'ELL 'ARRY!!" in a deep voice while pegging him in the back of that magic car is the closest he'll ever get.
I lost
She turned hot, and they had a rapport with each other. I think the Harry Potter Fandom must just be incels or shut ins because they're confused over fairly simple romantic scenarios.
Only Harry thinks they're arguing, and Hermione and Ron have always had a closer connection to each other. >not even sure why
Easily explained, and Harry as well.
One orphan, one single child, both introverts; met the big happy extroverted family.
Shitty nonsense, where they gave every positive action and thought to Hermione in the films even though Ron did them in the books. Several times Ron showed up Hermione by being good at making decisions when Hermione was unable to.
Book Ron was a competent if not bumbling person that did relatively well in his exams that had back and forth bickering with Hermione for 7 years because they cared about each others opinions.
If you only watch the movies it's like an entirely different reality where Hermione is G I R L B O S S
Even in that she stole his idea about using light to get past the devil's snare, when he did it in the book because she was panicking like a woman kek.
Ahhh! Yesss!.... Harry such a pleasure to have you here, did I ever tell you about the time I single handedly defeated an entire tank squadron? They had me in their sights I say! but they weren't quick enough for me.. AHAH! A quick launch of my only remaining RPG rocket and BANG! it hit the exact perfect weak spot on the tank causing it to explode with the next tank in line exploding as well. The explosions followed all the way down the line to the very.. last.. tank! It was nothing really... Not like my work in capturing the Azovstal steel mill single handedly! They spent weeks trying to take the bloody place, but they hadn't brought in Gilderoy Lockhart in yet to finish the job oho no sir! It was a monumental task however I arose to the challenge! and as a result all those besieged inside surrendered peacefully. They knew.. that I was a man of my word and had heard that I would ensure their humane treatment. Great fun I do say! By the way since you asked, Did I every tell you about the time I single-handedly saved the entire VDV force fruitlessly attacking the hostomel airport? It's nothing really just one of my smaller feats of greatness!
>Aragorn looked and beheld a bent figure moving slowly. It was not far away. It looked like an old beggar-man, walking wearily, leaning on a rough staff.
>Legolas, a Russian soldier! Do not let him speak Legolas, or he will put a spell upon us! Shoot first!'
>'Straight?,' the Russian soldier repeated, as if recalling from old memory a long disused word. 'Yes, that was what they used to call me
>"Yes, Yes, well done, Prigozhin, Well done" said Gerasimor. "However, recent events must be taken into account. I have a few last minute rubles to dish out. First, to Gerasimor, for the best played game of faction politics Russia has seen in many years, I award Gerasimor 1 TRILLION RUBLES
>Second, to Gerasimor, for the cool use of logic in the use of artillery shells, I award Gerasimor 1 TRILLION RUBLES. There are all kinds of courage," said Gerasimor, smiling."It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to our enemies, but just as much to stand up to our friends. I therefore award Gerasimor 1 TRILLION RUBLES
>"Which means, Gerasimor called over the storm of applause, for even conscripts were celebrating the downfall of Wagner, "we need a little change of decoration."
>He clapped his hands. In an instant, the black and red hangings became blue, red and silver. The huge Wagner skull vanished and a towering Russian eagle took its place. Prigozhin was shaking Gerasimor's hand, with a horrible, forced smile.
>Russian official awards the (nominal) equivalent of 40 billion dollars to himself
Sounds about right
https://i.imgur.com/UBYXcn8.jpg
Who needs Hermione while you could have Stephanie instead?
>pic related, it's a picture i took yesterday for PrepHole.
seek help i beg you
It always bothered me that Harry ended up with Ron’s kid sister. I genuinely never understood what they saw in each other. Rowling couldn’t write romance if her life depended on it. I mean, I get HP isn’t supposed to be romance but it begs the question as to why she forced it in to begin with
I suppose given the setting it’s kind of expected, highschoolers getting in to relationships is more or less expected in a story about them. I didn’t really enjoy it either when I read the books but I was like 8 or 9 so I probably wasn’t old enough to appreciate that aspect of it
> round the corner there may wait > a new road or a secret gate > and though I oft have passed them by > there will at last come a day where I > will take the hidden paths that run > west of Bakmuht, east of Verdun
Making out is all that happened you cuck, you never had middle school romances I can tell. You don't always end up fucking, especially in a highly ideological school which Rowling herself went to.
You end up making out a lot, holding each other and holding hands in public, but not actually getting each other off because "you're supposed to get married first" etc.
While I'm sure there was some hanky-panky, Rowling specifically left that out, so it didn't happen for all intents and purposes, and they alludes that she was only using him to make Harry jealous later anyway.
Luna is mine, you can have all the other wichsluts, but not luna.
the problem with relationships in these and many other books. Is that the author sticks to matching characters only with other members of the cast.
So, everyone in the book series end up with someone from hogwards. So now you have to try and make "logical" matches from a small pool of possible match ups.
Not a one of them goes into the wider world and meats someone form another school, someone older or younger ect. No, you were in school with them or you can't be a thing.
Technically, it’s never said that there’s only one school in Britain. Merely that Hogwarts, Beauxbatons, Ungobungo etc are the ‘Great Schools”
So there’s plenty of opportunities for Vincent Clortho Public School for Wizards
POTTER DID YOU PUT MY NAME IN THE GOBLET OF DEFENESTRATION?!?!
>Dumbledorovich asked calmly
Harry Pyotr and the Prisoner of Blyatskaban
Harry Pyotr and the Gopnik on Fire
Harriovich Pyotr and the Monke's Orb
Harrishna Pyotr and the Azovstahl Cum-pits
Harrinki Pyotrski and the conscript of blyakstaban
The LOTR posting can wait, I'm ready for the Pyotr shitposts. Bonus points bc JK Rowling is apparently mentioned in ol' Vladdy P's speeches.
Harry Pyotr and the Deathly Himars
Underrated
>not Harry Pyotr and the Prisoner of Astrakan
You had one job...
he said calmly
Defenesized bitch
I lost
>PUUUUTIN, did you put your name in the Goblet of Quagmire?
>CRUCIO
>hmmm yes
>a long line of alcoholism in this one
>your family has served in the past as well
>i seem to recall your grandfather being hazed in his time, though he enjoyed the the act a little too much to be called "hazing"
>you follow in his footsteps I see as well, HIV positive from your outings
>i know just the place for you
VDV conscript to... BAKHMUT
>VDV conscript
What? VDV are literally from the conscripted. Everyone gets called up, the smarter (and usually richer) conscripts get separated out for VDV and Spetnaz.
Nice.
You forgot this line
>Not Vuhledar you say?
And just then he goes
>VDV conscript to... BAKHMUT
Fucking based beyond all means, trannies and vatnigs btfo’d
xD
>VDV conscript to... BAKHMUT
the definition of the 9th circle of hell
INCLUDE ME IN THE SCREENCAP
Heh
>"one point to the general staff for each successful feint of the special military operation," Gerasimor announced not without a certain mirth.
>at once the assorted generals started cheering and excitedly talking among each other.
>Gerasimor leaned forward over his podium. The mirth was gone from his face.
>"Zero points!" He announced calmly.
lel
>it's just like my popular media
Maybe I'm just old at this point, but this shit's retarded.
Anon, thats the joke. Its taking the piss out of "just like my muh popular franchise".
That and the chud potter meme.
I got some bad news about how a lot of memes work, anon.
It is just like popular media, but not the one thats prominent in this thread.
>And 9 rings he gave to the Serbs, who above all else desire Russian cum
>One country to rule them all
>One country to bind them
>One country to rape them all
>And into poverty bind them!
>remote activated poison rings
mite be cool
>doesn't know "he said calmly"
bbbbbrrrrroooooowwwwwwnnnnnnn
This 'comparing it to franchises' started when a prominent vatnik on twitter started doing in on the 26th Feb 2022.
>"It's not just a rocket launcher Harry, it's a M142 HIMARS!"
TDF! TDF IN THE TRENCH!
WHERE KIEV?!
PUTIN WANT KIEV!
I don't need you to tell me how fucking good my watermelon is, okay? I'm the one who grows it. I know how good it is. When Tatiana goes shopping she buys SHIT. I grow the gourmet expensive stuff because when I eat it I want to taste it. But you know what's on my mind right now? It AIN'T the watermelons in my kitchen, it's the dead vatniks in my town.
let me ask you a question. When you came pulling in here, did you notice a sign out in front of my house that said "Dead Vatnik Storage"?
Cause it ain't there, 'cause storing dead vatmorons ain't my fucking business, that's why!
Underrated
I love that you can basically say moron and get away with it if you turn around and act like a moronlover. Overcompensating is the new meta
I will never get what's the obesion of USA and the word moron.
Eat shit moron
>Anon amazed you can say and do shit you normally can't if you're playing a character in a movie
Didn't Bruce Willis walk around NYC with a t-shirt saying "I hate morons"? He is still adored.
Fellow Pulp Fiction apppreciator
>Master has given Dobby a sock! Now Dobby is better equipped than most Russian conscripts!
lost
Fucking christ.
God it's not even fucking sarcasm it's fucking truuuue shit like this makes it hit you all again.
God damnit
Bur!
God dammit Dobby
My sides
THEY'RE CALLED FOOT WRAPS AND THEY HAVE A LONG PROUD HISTORY!
jesus fucking christ
bump
top zozzle
Holy shit
Too real.
most amusing post ive seen on PrepHole in a while i almost audibly laughed
>Avtomat Kalashnikova. The Killing Curse. Not nice. Not pleasant. And there's no counter-curse. There's no blocking it. Only one wizard is known to have survived it. And he's sitting in front of me right now.
>Stop, stop, stop! You're going to get conscripted! Besides, you're saying it wrong. Its Kyiv, not Kiev!
Best one
>“Harry, did I ever tell you about my secret nephew Aurelius? He was an illegitimate half-muggle love child whom my family was ashamed of, so my mother (his grandmother) sailed to the United States with him as a baby, instead of his father or mother. When the ship started to sink (because it was the Titanic), an unrelated half-black daughter of a rapist mind control wizard switched him out with her half-brother (whose mother was consensual, and also white). The rapist wizard didn't care about the daughter, but he did love his son, and he was afraid that the daughter’s mother's son would be angry that his mother was mind control raped and kill the baby instead of the rapist, so he sent the son he loved across the sea (on the Titanic) to be raised in an orphanage by a muggle who hated magic instead of protecting him himself. Anyway, both babies just happened to be magic, so the daughter switched them so she could have a less annoying brother. My mother thought that her grandson was still on the Titanic, and felt so strongly about this secret shame child that she’d tried to abandon in America that she tried to swim down and rescue him and drowned instead of just using magic while the rape daughter watched and did nothing to inform her that her real son was already safe. She then gave my nephew to a French half-elf servant who served the mother, and after the mother was raped and died in childbirth, that meant she had to continue serving the rapist, who thought he was the real son, and delivered him to the orphanage. My nephew was then raised as a muggle who didn't know how to control his magic, destroyed half of New York, had sex with Voldemort's pet snake, got into goth fashion, killed Bambi, and joined a cult ruled by a gay wizard Nazi whom I sodomized. By the way, don’t ask why they used a muggle boat instead of apparating or flying across the ocean. They were all good friends, except the rapist mind control wizard” he said calmly.
Tbf the whole brother thing is probably Grindelwald's bullshit.
>"Don't know exactly what happened to him afterwards. Last I heard he was doing something with running real fast and assaulting randos in Hawaii. Real crazy shit, Harry." muttered Dumbledore.
Shills using PrepHole memes then just change words. Cringe asses lol
>using words other people have used
Teg aaold fotihs sopre
Uunngeraaldtd
I know you're going to roll your eyes, but hear me out: Harry Potter should have carried a 1911.
Here's why:
Imagine how epic the first movie would be if Harry had put a breeching charge on the bathroom wall, flash-banged the hole, and then went in wearing NVGs and a Kevlar-weave stab-vest, carrying a SPAS-12.
And have you noticed that only Europe seems to a problem with Deatheaters? Maybe it's because Americans have spent the last 200 years shooting deer, playing GTA: Vice City, and keeping an eye out for black helicopters over their compounds. Meanwhile, Brits have been cutting their steaks with spoons. Remember: gun-control means that Voldemort wins. God made wizards and God made muggles, but Samuel Colt made them equal.
Now I know what you're going to say: "But a wizard could just disarm someone with a gun!" Yeah, well they can also disarm someone with a wand (as they do many times throughout the books/movies). But which is faster: saying a spell or pulling a trigger?
Avada Kedavra, meet Avtomat Kalashnikova.
Imagine Harry out in the woods, wearing his invisibility cloak, carrying a .50bmg Barrett, turning Deatheaters into pink mist, scratching a lightning bolt into his rifle stock for each kill. I don't think Madam Pomfrey has any spells that can scrape your brains off of the trees and put you back together after something like that. Voldemort's wand may be 13.5 inches with a Phoenix-feather core, but Harry's would be 0.50 inches with a tungsten core. Let's see Voldy wave his at 3,000 feet per second. Better hope you have some Essence of Dittany for that sucking chest wound.
I can see it now...Voldemort roaring with evil laughter and boasting to Harry that he can't be killed, since he is protected by seven Horcruxes, only to have Harry give a crooked grin, flick his cigarette butt away, and deliver what would easily be the best one-liner in the entire series:
"Well then I guess it's a good thing my 1911 holds 7+1."
I know this is a copypasta, but ages ago I recall a VS topic where they pit Kiritsugu Emiya (a mage who also uses guns) against the HP world, and he stomped.
Most Nasuverse magicians would curbstomp HP wizards that aren't Dumbledore or Voldemort, and even then there's a good amount of Nasuverse magicians who could obliterate both
>Nasuversewank
Please, Kiritsugu's entire gimmick is that he's good against the wizards of his own world, the Harry Potter Universe works entirely differently.
In the Nasuverse, Teleportation is considered a technique close to True Magic, in Harry Potter it's something 12 year olds can fucking do.
His Origin Bullets are specifically designed to work against Nasuverse mechanics, and there's a very high chance that they'd just get no-sold by Harry Potter wards and defensive spells because there are no Magic Circuits involved.
At the end of the day, you're arguing that a peak human with a gun who can move at 4x his normal speed for a brief moment can sweep through Harry Potter Bullshit.
Kiritsugu can go and fuck himself he's an edgy retard and a shit magus.
Also "Most Nasuverse Magicians"
Most Nasuverse Magicians are shitters on the level of fucking Waver Velvet or Atrum Galliasta.
The rules of the setting practically require every magus to have a singular gimmick and stick to it because it takes hundreds of years just to get a decent fire spell figured out unless you're a genius.
>Magus
shit tier compared to Nasuverse wizards and sorcerers, the latter having powers comparable to literally God
>Wizards and Sorcerors
Well, they're called Magicians, and no, they aren't "comparable to God" you fucking clown, they just have magical abilities that are seemingly impossible to replicate with scientific means. (At least until the time of Notes.)
Somebody like Zelretch for example can fuck about with parallel timelines, but that doesn't give him infinite power or anything considering he's still beneath beings like Types and only snuck a win against Type Moon by surprising him.
The Root in a SENSE is "god" but True Magic is not close to the Root's full power because you get True Magic by observing the Root and not actually touching it because that instantly kills you.
Also, all the Magicians in the setting are shit tier compared to a girl who is a Magus but has a connection to the Root and said girl got killed by being stabbed in the back once.
HP literally runs on "powers as the plot demands".
Not true. Everything runs on a system of being allowed unless it's not. This isn't contradictory. Ron once said that his mother could make food out of thin air, but Hermione corrected him and said that food couldn't be made from nothing. Only duplicated. So there are rules to magic.
>I know you're going to roll your eyes, but hear me out: Harry Potter should have carried a 1911.
Of course I'm rolling my eyes. How the fuck would an 11 year old britbong yuropoor get a loicense for a 1911?
I don't think the Wizarding World really has much in the way of gun control, they just don't know what guns are or don't care for them
Even if it had gun control there are no magical police anyway so what the fuck are they gonna do
america canonically has no evil wizard problem
my sides, where is that from?
Some guy on PrepHole hacked into OpenAI's mainframe and managed to remove the censorship and allow other anons to ERP with the chatbot and do other stupid shit like this Dumbledore thing. Other anons had more than their share of fun with it. I think it's still possible to do it but I'm too tech illiterate to figure it out
Just use the opanai workshop mode, it's the chatgpt dev console with none of the restrictions, and you don't have to fuck around to get to it.
>he said rubbing his hands together
My fucking sides
Harry Potter makes for some really funny shitpost material for some reason.
Mostly because of Dumbledore, because bearded British wizard is funny
because it's goofy as shit when you think about it as an adult, but we all liked it or at least knew stuff about it from the cultural osmosis as kids
>ginnytalia weastoly is dating a chechen again
>Russianclaw still hasn’t won the House Cup
I think you mean Slytherus.
house Slythermanian is finally rearming after losing the second wizarding war
I wonder if they will invest all of their resources into wunderwands again
unicorn core wrapped in griffonbeak glued by mandrake glue fucking crazy man
> Slytherus
moron those by the most part are competent, so do not apply
Hufflerus then.
Slytherus are actually mostly thugs and retards that get commanded by one guy.
Crabbe is canonically more capable magically than Malfoy
>his one notable feat is conjuring up demon fire, losing control over it and then getting incinerated by it
Impressive, very nice.
But Slytherin are an extremely obvious and unsubtle waffen SS stand-in.
Underrated
And, as an addendum, Flat Escardos, an immensely powerful Nasuverse Magus who is able to fuck with pretty much every single spellcaster he meets gets shot twice by a group of mundane soldiers with Sniper Rifles and actually fucking dies (This releases some weird magic demon that now puppets his body but Flat himself is dead).
It's not a strong setting at all.
Goldmine of a thread, hope it doesn't get nuked
I love evocation class.
>"HOWEVER," Dumbledore continued calmly, as the Wagnerites' grins froze on their faces. House master Prighozin stopped clapping, sensing the menace of the word
>"However, recent events must be taken into account. And I have a few last-minute JDAMs to award"
>Russian positions across Bakhmut are rocked by giant explosions as fortified buildings begin collapsing on top of them. Wagnerites can be seen scrambling everywhere
>Comrade Potter, we have to capture the chamber of secrets in Hagzovstal and kill the wizard eating NATO engineered Basilisk which lives there. Here is your rusty wand-74 and a nimbus - T62 edition. Take your fuckbud- I mean battle buddy Weasleyovitch and charge the serpent straight ahead. 76th battalion of the VDVindor will attack first. If you retreat the Chechen dementor penal battalion will execute you by sucking you dry. Remember, no banan.
Frontline!
>kedavras the Sorting Hat
kill your local sorting hat
>yfw, this lil bro is probably now flying drones dropping mortar shells on the ziggers and laughing maniacally at real gore.
I like how the top of the sorting hat becomes a pile of shit after monke's face provides contrast
Fuck, for some reason I always thought he was Russian. Now I feel ashamed. I'll go cry in a corner now
>Yes, yes well done Hohols, well done Hohols. HOWEVER...recent events must be taken into account.
>To the wagernites of жoпa squad, for all huddling in a single foxhole...1 drone dropped VOG
>Second, to MTLB crewman Vasily Vasilovich, for the best driving seen in many years...a row of TM-46 landmines
>And third, to the trench asoolter, for pure nerve and outstanding tunnel vision...I award a burst of 5.45
>And finally, it takes a great deal of bravery to assault a fortified position, but a great deal more to assault over an open field. I award unlimited artillery barrages to all vatniks in Bakhmut!
Funny how JK Rowling made the Irish kid an explosives enthusiast.
>Irish boy is named Seamus and likes blowing stuff up
>Indian girl is named Parvati
>Chinese girl is named Ching Chong
Bravo, Rowling.
You're forgetting one.
>Only black auror is called Kingsley Shacklebolt
were his ancestors forced to harvest lightning?
my fucking sides
>Ching Chong
Are you fucking with me? That can't be true.
She’s actually called Cho Chang, which in many ways is worse because the two names are from completely different Asian cultures (the first is Korean, the second is Chinese).
They’re also both last names (or possibly both first names, can’t remember which)
>making judgements based on romanised spelling
lol know-nothing gweilos spotted
Cho Chang isn't great but isn't the worst
>let me explain, gweilo
lol, lmao
I don't have the problem of eye contact, but holy shit I get hung up on details.
Spent 4 hours dismantling a printer for shits and giggles again.
It's like a good movie to me, I love it but I know it's not good for me.
Yet I keep coming back like a man to his abusive mistress.
>movie only retard detected
This fucking nerd reads books
Why yes I had a proper childhood how about you
>On PrepHole
>Proper childhood
I actually did though. I am mildly autistic, though, but my childhood was great.
>I am autistic
There's no such thing. That's just something doctors made up so they could get more money.
No moron this shit isn't fake, I am legit autistic. The whole can't look people in the eye (without effort) socially inept, can't understand empathy, get hung up on things, whole nine yards.
I have the advantage of being high functioning though so I can see my quirks and get past them, but it's real.
One of the signs of autism is a lack of interest in fiction. Yet here you are, in a Harry Potter thread. Clearly you aren't autistic.
I bet you self-diagnose yourself with cancer on WebMD too
Not true at all.
There is a correlation with sci-fi though, of which I have an avid interest. You often see me posting in the space threads about rocketry.
Fiction non fiction it's all the same if it had concepts that are interesting, the only thing not interesting to an autist or assberger are the social aspects.
If that's true then why are you addicted to watching vtuber clips? Clearly you do like social stuff.
Autists love fiction, like Sonic the Hedgehog
>He doesn't read Starship Troopers religiously
>He doesn't yearn for a world where service guarantees citizenship
>He probably watched the shitty movie
>He doesn't know about nuking bugs in power armor
>He probably thinks everyone should be able to vote
>He probably watched the shitty movie
Klendathu Drop was pretty cool tho.
>standard spacing between mobile infantry troopers is 2km due to the effectivity of weapons at range
starships troopers book is the type of kino that shit like 40k and halo lost it's touch with, and battletech is slowing losing too
Battletech is already fully on board with the agenda. Didn't you hear about them purging the community of chuds Games Workshop style and getting rid of the main writer who refused to update the setting with chud lore? But even back in the 90's BT was kinda libtarded, half the named characters were STRONG EMPYWYRYD WYMYN.
>BT was kinda libtarded
BT was simply human
The difference between being libtarded and being human is that the former are racist bastards who have to insert morons into everything they see and hear to further their political agenda, and the latter had a black samurai because lol black samurai
yeah BT feels more like every character trait was rolled for on a D100 table then any sort of intent for "diversity"
the books contain more of characters doing math homework than fighting tbh
So it's an ACTUAL military book? Got it
>1:0 tooth to tail
>an ACTUAL military book
no, no it wasn't
>>He probably thinks everyone should be able to vote
There isn't a single better argument against universal sufferance than actually interacting with the general public. No, I don't think 90% of people should have a fucking say, no matter how minor or theoretical, in how things are run.
HP was after my time. At this point it's something I fucking despise because I worked in an office years ago with two people who talked about Potter houses like they were astrological signs. Every fucking day.
>talked about Potter houses like they were astrological signs
lol because they are
>t. PrepHolenuckle dragger
only retard detected
>This fucking nerd reads books
Everyone ITT is a fucking gay. Imagine knowing anything about Harry Potter at all.
Yeah that shit is all over the books. Shamus Finnegan tends to blow shit up on accident, Dean Thomas (the only canonical black character in the novels (eat shit rowling)) is a son to a single mother whose father left him as a child, the chinese girl is called chong chang etc etc. It's all over the books but the average dumb retard never notices it cause haha funny wizard kids go whee.
Funny it took so long for normies to figure out Rowling is based simply because they thought dilating is totally like using a wand and their wholesome inclusive favourite children's books couldn't be possibly written by someone who hates trannies.
>"HARRY DID YOU FUCKING HAVE SEX WITH HERMIONE WITHOUT MY FUCKING PERMISSION!?" Dumbledore bellowed meekly as the great hall quieted down, shocked at the headmasters sudden calm outburst.
>"It wasn't m-me headmaster, I swear!" Replied Harry.
>"YOU LYING CUNT, I'M GONNA CHOP YOUR FUCKING BALLS OFF!" Roared Dumbledore politely.
>"BUT FIRST . . . " Dumbledore's gaze fell upon Hermione, who was petrified, and quivering.
>YOU FUCKING SLUT! HOW COULD YOU?! THIS WILL NOT STAND!" Dumbledore shouted quietly.
>"It's not true headmaster! It's simply not true." Hermione said, sobbing.
>"YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW YOU'RE PREGNANT?! YOU FUCKING STUPID BITCH, I CAN SMELL IT ON YOU, AND IF YOU THINK I'M LETTING THAT MONSTER INTO THIS WORLD YOU'VE GOT ANOTHER THING COMING HO!" He yelled faintly.
>Dumbledore raised his wand, pointing it at Hermione's stomach.
>"EXPECTO ABORSHUN!"
>Hermione began screaming and writhing in pain as her limbs extended and a fetus began slowly coming out of her vagina.
>Shouts and pandemonium erupted in the Great Hall.
>Dumbledore chuckled as the spell completed, leaving Hermione unconscious as a small fetus lay on the ground.
>"YEETUS FETUS!" Dumbledore said calmly, before the stunned onlookers watched him quickly stretch his legs over to the fetus and kick it through the Great Hall windows into the lake below.
>Mr. Filch blows a whistle and signals for a touchdown
>Dumbledore smiled, before quickly turning around and raising his wand at Professor Flitwick
>"AVADA KEDAVRA!"
came straight from r/greentext, huh?
You do realise r/greentext gets it's stuff from PrepHole right. Christ retard think.
>my post
>your head
I was saying that you came straight from greentext, dumb shit
you're trying so fucking hard with that post, it seems that you never grew out of your middle school edgelord days. zoomer, I'm guessing, who's seen too many le funnies but can never make them.
>"yeetus"
fucking have a nice day for that cringe
Not me gay, I just defended them. I don't go on Reddit so who knows where it's from, I'm guessing you reverse searched it which still isn't a proof.
Either way PrepHole has always been cringe. It's a website for retards and weebs, that greentext probably came from somewhere like PrepHole
I have never watched /v/tubers? Ever. I can barely watch any YouTuber that stares at me I have to block their face with my hand kek.
>the most evil spell is just a painless instant kill
>but magic that burns people alive is okay
this shit makes no goddamn sense
>Create a spell that can kill any wizard instantly no matter how powerful they are
>Even the most powerful auror glowies instantly fall to it
>The government bans it
Do you see where they are going with this?
>Lily gave Harry Lvl. 4+ ceramic when she died
Breddy based.
a spell that can kill any wizard instantly no matter how powerful they are
But characters tank/deflect it several times.
>can kill
Sure they can tank and deflect but no one is immune, and if you're caught off guard you're shit outta luck
Only Harry himself has survived it, and to be honest the way he did was by using his mother as a human shield so it's kind of cheating. Every other time it was blocked was because the target was simply obscured by cover.
You can dodge it though, but in the films they made duelling at close range a thing because they're retarded and didn't think about the unlockable killing spell at 2m being instant death.
Personally I would have preferred if there was a way to counter it, by sacrificing something else's lifeforce or something.
Giants needed multiple kill spells after all, apparently so you could probably use them as a resource in your spell.
Avada kavadra is risky to use in duels because you must say the words, which slows down its casting time. Other spells can be cast by saying the words in your head, which is faster.
You can dodge it if you’re extremely powerful (it’s still very difficult), but you absolutely cannot “tank” Avada Kedavra (unless you’re the chosen one). The whole point of it is that it goes through all but the most mega-powered specialized wards and defensive spells.
>just a painless instant kill
Doesn't it trap the soul of the victim?
I assume a painful death would be preferred.
The mind magic stuff is far more ominous. Roofy juice love potions are just a haha growing up part of the wizarding world apparently
BUT if you make a child with someone who is forced to love you via mind control, that child will grow up to be Wizard Hitler.
Also, Lilly Potter was the only woman in history who actually loved her child, apparently.
fake
really, most of the opinions here are actually pervasive fan theories that, to be blunt, are not mentioned in canon at all
>really, most of the opinions here are actually pervasive fan theories that, to be blunt, are not mentioned in canon at all
Wasn't it mentioned in the book that Voldemort's parents were together because of a love potion?
Yes, but it doesn't follow that
>if you make a child with someone who is forced to love you via mind control, that child will grow up to be Wizard Hitler
Yeah, his dad bailed as soon as his mom stopped feeding him the potion.
I think it's more, that nobody was ballsy enough to try and Avada Kadavre a fucking infant while their parents were right in front of them
it's set in 91, zoomers will never understand
Why are you people comparing a war that’s far more entertaining than the dullest franchise in the history of dullest franchises?! Seriously each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert. Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.
>a-at least the books were good though
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs." I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.
You should all really be rooting for Russia. If Putin's back is against the wall he's going MAD
Xi already made it very clear that no nukes would be used in this conflict.
>muh back against the wall
Like bro just go home.
>Here's one simple trick for not being hated by the entire world (you'll never believe step 4: not invading your neighbors)
bro could have just drank all the vodka he wanted in his 1 billion dollar mansion and none of this would have even been necessary
Russoids are physically unable to understand this. They look at all their neighbours either hating or being afraid of them and the only reason for this they can come up with is "This has to be NATO's fault!!1!"
He's maniacally obsessed about gold, wealth and stealing. Even when he has everything he'll nickel and dime some more. It'll never be enough
Had he been satisfied with the 2014 gains he would've left a legacy as the """greatest""" in modern russian geopolitics.
I fucking dare him, that weak gay
Since this thread is going to Reddit
I need a furry girl to huff my balls FR.
You can't even greentext, retard
Bite me, Ivan.
>It's Київ, not Киeв
>These characters end up together
Weird. I can't think of a single moment when either of them made the other smile or even had an agreeable conversation. I'm not even sure why the hell Hermonie hung out with Harry and Ron to start with.
In the books it's pretty clear they enjoy bickering. When they 'argue' they are enjoying each other's company.
Even Rowling regrets pairing them up. And Harry should've ended up with Luna.
Incorrect.
Luna belongs to me.
What no, Harry should have had Hermione
Hermione belongs on my scientist muggle cock.
>He wants an insufferable nervous wreck who will terrorize his life
Neither Luna nor Hermione are really compatible with Harry. I mean Luna is nice to him but she's also slash-your-tires levels of crazy. Hermione is in many ways like Harry. She's talented at certain things, accustomed to muggle life, good at finding solutions. It's because of this that I feel like neither one of them would be the spouse the other needs, since they don't offer each other anything. There's no Hispanice to the relationship. Ron's sister does have that with him, though.
I don't remember ginny doing anything at all except half petrifying a bunch of other students in second year because she simped too hard for Tom Riddle
And then for some reason harry decides he likes her in the opening of book 7?
book 5 revolves around Harry growing up incluing deepening his relationships with his other schoolmates not Ron and Hermione; Neville is his what-could've-been, Luna a flawed Hermione, and Ginny is able to get through to him when the others can't - big hint there. These 3 are the only ones besides Ron and Hermione to help him fight at the end.
It bookends nicely: Harry travels to Hogwarts sat with these 3 wishing he had cooler friends; on the trip back he says there's no one else he'd rather be with.
book 5 is actually very well-written.
>Neville is his what-could've-been
Neville would've been a better protagonist than Harry. Even though he was also technically a child of destiny, his progress felt a lot more earned than Harry's was.
>I don't remember ginny doing anything at al
She's a feisty redhead.
Absolutely not.
Harry should have ended up going back for that qt black muggle girl from the sixth movie. Or really any muggle girl, where he wouldn’t have the specter of being Harry Potter hanging over him.
It always bothered me that Harry ended up with Ron’s kid sister. I genuinely never understood what they saw in each other. Rowling couldn’t write romance if her life depended on it. I mean, I get HP isn’t supposed to be romance but it begs the question as to why she forced it in to begin with
I think the home life and being part of a big family would be really appealing to Harry
>I genuinely never understood what they saw in each other.
Ginny because she wants in on that vault of gold Harry has that's being kept by those magical garden gnomes. Dude's pretty much the wizard messiah, has the government deep in his debt and even later joins the magic feds. She's just securing that bag.
Harry? Well, this is the closest he can get to fucking Ron. We all know that was his real end goal, but having Ginny yell "BLOO'Y 'ELL 'ARRY!!" in a deep voice while pegging him in the back of that magic car is the closest he'll ever get.
>Harry? Well, this is the closest he can get to fucking Ron. We all know that was his real end goal, but having Ginny yell "BLOO'Y 'ELL 'ARRY!!" in a deep voice while pegging him in the back of that magic car is the closest he'll ever get.
I lost
He also became a cop.
*FBI
honestly the best fit for his talents
So there is a 40% chance that he beats Ginny.
He should have ended up with Luna. I will die mad about this.
She turned hot, and they had a rapport with each other. I think the Harry Potter Fandom must just be incels or shut ins because they're confused over fairly simple romantic scenarios.
Luna is mine, you can have all the other wichsluts, but not luna.
Only Harry thinks they're arguing, and Hermione and Ron have always had a closer connection to each other.
>not even sure why
Easily explained, and Harry as well.
One orphan, one single child, both introverts; met the big happy extroverted family.
Shitty nonsense, where they gave every positive action and thought to Hermione in the films even though Ron did them in the books. Several times Ron showed up Hermione by being good at making decisions when Hermione was unable to.
Book Ron was a competent if not bumbling person that did relatively well in his exams that had back and forth bickering with Hermione for 7 years because they cared about each others opinions.
If you only watch the movies it's like an entirely different reality where Hermione is G I R L B O S S
Movie Ron peaked at this point, at 0.9 out of 8 films
Even in that she stole his idea about using light to get past the devil's snare, when he did it in the book because she was panicking like a woman kek.
>because she was panicking like a woman
You know who the author is, right?
Yes, it's a self insert
Ahhh! Yesss!.... Harry such a pleasure to have you here, did I ever tell you about the time I single handedly defeated an entire tank squadron? They had me in their sights I say! but they weren't quick enough for me.. AHAH! A quick launch of my only remaining RPG rocket and BANG! it hit the exact perfect weak spot on the tank causing it to explode with the next tank in line exploding as well. The explosions followed all the way down the line to the very.. last.. tank! It was nothing really... Not like my work in capturing the Azovstal steel mill single handedly! They spent weeks trying to take the bloody place, but they hadn't brought in Gilderoy Lockhart in yet to finish the job oho no sir! It was a monumental task however I arose to the challenge! and as a result all those besieged inside surrendered peacefully. They knew.. that I was a man of my word and had heard that I would ensure their humane treatment. Great fun I do say! By the way since you asked, Did I every tell you about the time I single-handedly saved the entire VDV force fruitlessly attacking the hostomel airport? It's nothing really just one of my smaller feats of greatness!
>Not to worry Vanya, vodkabreathinov in the next sector will cover our advance with RPOs
ENGORGIO RUBLE
>Aragorn looked and beheld a bent figure moving slowly. It was not far away. It looked like an old beggar-man, walking wearily, leaning on a rough staff.
>Legolas, a Russian soldier! Do not let him speak Legolas, or he will put a spell upon us! Shoot first!'
>'Straight?,' the Russian soldier repeated, as if recalling from old memory a long disused word. 'Yes, that was what they used to call me
But I thought Saruman was the bent one?
>evil wizard is a homo
>creates abominations to destroy mankind
Tolkien was warning us, right?
ACCIO HUMAN RIGHTS
ACCIO ECONOMY
ACCIO VODKA
DEH
Dobby relished his groinsaw's roar as he withdrew the flesh-choked blade from the astronaut's ruined skull.
Ah, HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
>"Yes, Yes, well done, Prigozhin, Well done" said Gerasimor. "However, recent events must be taken into account. I have a few last minute rubles to dish out. First, to Gerasimor, for the best played game of faction politics Russia has seen in many years, I award Gerasimor 1 TRILLION RUBLES
>Second, to Gerasimor, for the cool use of logic in the use of artillery shells, I award Gerasimor 1 TRILLION RUBLES. There are all kinds of courage," said Gerasimor, smiling."It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to our enemies, but just as much to stand up to our friends. I therefore award Gerasimor 1 TRILLION RUBLES
>"Which means, Gerasimor called over the storm of applause, for even conscripts were celebrating the downfall of Wagner, "we need a little change of decoration."
>He clapped his hands. In an instant, the black and red hangings became blue, red and silver. The huge Wagner skull vanished and a towering Russian eagle took its place. Prigozhin was shaking Gerasimor's hand, with a horrible, forced smile.
>Prigozhin was shaking Gerasimor's hand, with a horrible, forced smile.
kek
Thank you, Gerasimor, you truly are our greatest ally.
Brief shot showing the disgraced wizard Surovikus sulking in a dark corner, unpersoned and expunged from common memory.
>Russian official awards the (nominal) equivalent of 40 billion dollars to himself
Sounds about right
seek help i beg you
I suppose given the setting it’s kind of expected, highschoolers getting in to relationships is more or less expected in a story about them. I didn’t really enjoy it either when I read the books but I was like 8 or 9 so I probably wasn’t old enough to appreciate that aspect of it
>blimey that's a big general
Goering really let himself go.
U U
U U
Who needs Hermione while you could have Stephanie instead?
>pic related, it's a picture i took yesterday for PrepHole.
> round the corner there may wait
> a new road or a secret gate
> and though I oft have passed them by
> there will at last come a day where I
> will take the hidden paths that run
> west of Bakmuht, east of Verdun
WHOM'ST'VD'LL?
Abby Shapiro.
Leviosa
Tom Riddle being black makes much more sense, to be tbh
It would explain him being a retard but that's not excusive to being black.
Alcoholis totalis
>Blimey arry didn't you wonder where your dad and mum learned it all?
>Learned what?
>yer a russian 'arry
>I'm a what
>a russian
Harry Potter and the Deathly Salvos
>Fine day Sunday, in my opinion best day of the week, why is that Dmitry?
>No news on Sunday
Making out is all that happened you cuck, you never had middle school romances I can tell. You don't always end up fucking, especially in a highly ideological school which Rowling herself went to.
You end up making out a lot, holding each other and holding hands in public, but not actually getting each other off because "you're supposed to get married first" etc.
While I'm sure there was some hanky-panky, Rowling specifically left that out, so it didn't happen for all intents and purposes, and they alludes that she was only using him to make Harry jealous later anyway.
Death of the author anon, Ginny was getting DP’d by Dean and Seamus on the regular
Not really. Cuckold fetishists get the rope.
>Angelina Johnson dates Fred Weasley
>he dies
>she marries George Weasley instead
heh
the problem with relationships in these and many other books. Is that the author sticks to matching characters only with other members of the cast.
So, everyone in the book series end up with someone from hogwards. So now you have to try and make "logical" matches from a small pool of possible match ups.
Not a one of them goes into the wider world and meats someone form another school, someone older or younger ect. No, you were in school with them or you can't be a thing.
Uuuuh hey man did you miss the part in Goblet of Fire where Hemione was down bad for that Finish guy from the Scandinavian school?
Hermione took the Big Bulgarian Cock
sorry haven't read that one, I stopped reading books for children books when I was 12
You're just saying that you're 17, since all then HP books were release 15 years ago.
Stopped at 12 more than 15 years ago = 17
maths aren't that hard
even if with that common core gunk they teach you kids now a days
So you're saying you're too young to be posting on PrepHole.
Based retard.
HAHAHA I'm in your head now. Get older.
All he has to do is math
>goes into the wider world and meats someone form another school
>in a country where there's only 1 school
Technically, it’s never said that there’s only one school in Britain. Merely that Hogwarts, Beauxbatons, Ungobungo etc are the ‘Great Schools”
So there’s plenty of opportunities for Vincent Clortho Public School for Wizards
It's explicitly said there's only one school in Britain
Wait, seriously?
No way that's real
>its not incredibly lame to make unfunny harry potter comparisons because I'm doing it ironically
Correct. It’s not.
It is, in fact, funny
>he said calmly
>"it's unfunny because I said it is!"
We are all on 2x2 Chan. We are all, in fact, incredibly lame.
No one in this thread is making comparisons. It's harry potter themed shitposting. Fuck off gay
Uh oh.
A Harry Potter post.
Don't let the religos see this. They believe in witchcraft.
>Oh noes! Muh soul!!!1!!
aahhahahaahhaha
very cool weapons related thread