>Place order for 200,000 bomb vests. >Manufacturer skims his cut so nly 50,000 get made. >General sells 40,000 on the black market so he can have a new yacht. >10,000 are issued to the troops, 5000 sell their vests for vodka and the rest kill themselves by hitting each other with sticks.
I've got a better idea. They could just say they're retreating from Bakhmut but leave a giant wooden toilet as a present for Zelensky. He'll be confused at first but then the orders the washing machine to be moved to kiyiieiv to be displayed on the maidan square. What Zelensky doesn't know is that Prigozhin, Shuigu and Gerasimov are hidden inside the toilet. Once their in kyieiv, they can open the city gates and let the rest of the russian in.
Fucking stupid ideas but somehow still more likely to succeed than their original plan of just shooting cruise missiles into hospitals and shopping malls until you run out and then send waves of badly equipped mobiks into fortified positions for six months trying conquer a strategically irrelevant city and fail.
Russian Federation!? More like Russia's Defecation! I'm not half as offended by their war crimes as I am but their godawful tactics and shitty weapons! I'd rather get fucked up the ass by a Chechen than be a Russian soldier, not that they have to pick one or the other!
I've got a better idea. They could just say they're retreating from Bakhmut but leave a giant wooden toilet as a present for Zelensky. He'll be confused at first but then the orders the washing machine to be moved to kiyiieiv to be displayed on the maidan square. What Zelensky doesn't know is that Prigozhin, Shuigu and Gerasimov are hidden inside the toilet. Once their in kyieiv, they can open the city gates and let the rest of the russian in.
You want Russia to buy 100,000 suicide bomber vests? Where do you expect them to find money for 50,000 of those things? They are still waiting for those 5,000 helmets they've been raising the funds for.
>The suicide vests you sent us are made out of egg cartons! Vladimir Vladimirovich, please send real explosives.
We all know that this is exactly how it would play out
>one explodes
>all of them explodes like in C&C
kek
not enough vests, problem of premature chain detonation of mobiks, problems to find Ukrainian positions and getting lost on the way.
they don't have the vests. they can't make the vests. if they tried to make the vests they would just blow themselves up (early)
>Place order for 200,000 bomb vests.
>Manufacturer skims his cut so nly 50,000 get made.
>General sells 40,000 on the black market so he can have a new yacht.
>10,000 are issued to the troops, 5000 sell their vests for vodka and the rest kill themselves by hitting each other with sticks.
Yeah
And they're all filled with rocks
WHEN ONE MAN BLOWS UP, THE OTHER MAN PICKS UP THE VEST AND CARRIES ON
>ook ook
>Shoigu, you just have to see this.
I see you’ve never built banelings before
>why not try Zerg rush formation 37474463 this one will definitely work
bro russian soldiers won't even perform normal combat missions properly, what makes you think they would willingly kill themselves for this clown war?
Do you think explosives are cheap? Russia can't afford that.
They couldn't even give them a first aid bandage each. Where would the bomber vests come from?
even for a russian that's too stupid
Why don't they simply scoot into Kiev
Fucking stupid ideas but somehow still more likely to succeed than their original plan of just shooting cruise missiles into hospitals and shopping malls until you run out and then send waves of badly equipped mobiks into fortified positions for six months trying conquer a strategically irrelevant city and fail.
Russian Federation!? More like Russia's Defecation! I'm not half as offended by their war crimes as I am but their godawful tactics and shitty weapons! I'd rather get fucked up the ass by a Chechen than be a Russian soldier, not that they have to pick one or the other!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
no joke I always thought of them as Russians
I've got a better idea. They could just say they're retreating from Bakhmut but leave a giant wooden toilet as a present for Zelensky. He'll be confused at first but then the orders the washing machine to be moved to kiyiieiv to be displayed on the maidan square. What Zelensky doesn't know is that Prigozhin, Shuigu and Gerasimov are hidden inside the toilet. Once their in kyieiv, they can open the city gates and let the rest of the russian in.
https://funker530.com/video/nsfw-isis-unit-fake-surrender-and-detonate-suicide-vests-near-kurd-positions/
Would probably just end like this kek
You want Russia to buy 100,000 suicide bomber vests? Where do you expect them to find money for 50,000 of those things? They are still waiting for those 5,000 helmets they've been raising the funds for.
Because the mobiks would then record a video
>dear Vladimir Vladimirovich...
>The suicide vests you sent us are made out of egg cartons! Vladimir Vladimirovich, please send real explosives.
We all know that this is exactly how it would play out
Too early for that you have to wait until March 2025
>another false flag vatnik slide thread try to make ukraines supporters look like obnoxious idiots
Dude, everyone knows that this thread is just harmless shitposting. Lighten up
Are you seriously suggesting that russians all strap themselves with explosives BEFORE they finally uncover the identity of the dreaded smooker??
Why don't they just try a paradrop into the capital? Genuinely mind boggling that they haven't tried this already.
Petard are not effective under castle fire.