Why are Security Guards so cringe?

Every time I see them in public, they are decked out in the most mall ninja looking gear ever and are usually extremely obese or weighing less than 100lbs. Why is this?

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  1. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    because they frick ya mudda

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Well my dad is a port security guard so that tracks

  2. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Very low barriers for entry. 90% old men and fat fricks because there’s little to no work required. Just some light walking and a lot of sitting around unless you have a shite location. I work security and it’s only good because I can do all my school work at the same time

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Because the people you are talking about specifically are too incompetent to make it into the police or army, and want to flex whatever meagre authority and status they can get their hands on

      Little bit of both, it's the last thing lying frick sheepdawg poser pussies can do that lends them a bit of credibility while also not making them prove anything or holding them accountable. They can just be a gunsoomer loser who talks about guns all day while being unfit as frick fat as frick weak and cowardly its the last remnant of the old soldier of fortune made up stpries or fake navy seals we have left or they have left.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        I’ve worked security for a few years now, unarmed, and have yet to come across a try hard. I only find lazy pricks. So many people have lost their job at my sites for simply not showing up. You literally just have to type a few lines of a reports every hour or so, wear the uniform, and show up on time. No training. No code of conduct. No micro managing. Just show up. And people can’t even do that.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Bouncing, I usually wear soft armor in a concealed vest, but sometimes I put an axternal molle vest on with med pouches and stuff, it really freaks the hippies out and I love it.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            You are the kind of homosexual OP is talking about.

            • 4 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              Well I'm BASED as he'll, so idk what your b***hass has a problem with.

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                I don't know about that just yet. Can you tell us your experience about beating up minorities and how you patrol thots?

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                My state doesn't have minorities.
                And when a that comes up after a show and asks for a hug, I duck under, hit the rear body lock, transition to a high crotch and slam them on their head.

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                Passing grade. Could improve by have some minorities to bully daily but your thot patrolling technique is on point.

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                It would be good to have some people to OC

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                What do you do if they have gay

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Our uniforms are pretty vanilla. Just 5.11 pants and a sky blue button up. Only says security on the lapel, which is technically illegal. But I have my tacticool OD green bag with that has some molle on it. Always grabs attention even though it just has textbooks, first aid kit, and my giant thermos of coffee.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      This. I work security for some billionare community because even with all that money they still fear poors. Sit on my ass for 6h and take lunch break for 1. The last hour is split between showing up and checking doors are locked and checking those same doors before I leave.

  3. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Leo wannabes

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      2bh OP's description is befitting of most LEOs, they're all fat moron wannabe SEALs or they're manlets/womyn

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      and what really fricking pisses me off is how leo will always side worh these fat fricks over us, the people who pay their pauchecks. I got into a fight with a security guard and got arrested. All right cool get avreal man to fight your foghts for you fat pussy frick. But then they were just chatting while I was handcuffed on the ground, and when I called the security guy a fat lying frick the frickinng police officer came over and hit me in the face. frick the m

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        brown hands

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          50% Danish from my Mothers Side, 50% Ohioan from my Dads. You lost shitskin

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            100% Mutt

            • 4 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              post skin

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          hooked nose

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Your mental illness is showing

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        did you have stroke while posting?

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      My uncle was a cop and did security work after he retired, my other uncle blasted a guy in the head with a handgun for some diamonds and died serving life for murder. The duality of man.

  4. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Because the people you are talking about specifically are too incompetent to make it into the police or army, and want to flex whatever meagre authority and status they can get their hands on

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      You do realize a majority of security guards are either former or retired law enforcement or military right?

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        The moron here is you, not every jumped-up mallcop has that kind of experience.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >he believes this
        Lmao, do you support the fat blue line too

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Police don't go into security anymore, it used to be the case, but now the LEO career path is
        >die
        >get out after 2 years, transition to guntuber/Podcaster-> suceed
        >get out after 2 years, transition to guntuber/Podcaster-> fail, comit suicide
        >die in line of duty
        >use force, go to prison, get murdered in prison

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >>Die in tHe liNE OF DUTy
          >In 2022, there were 708,001 full-time law enforcement officers employed in the United States
          >A total of 62 law enforcement officers died in 2022

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            ay yo, can I get a KDR on that?

            Begone vampire scum

            Nah son, we daywalkers here

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        That's why they're all fat.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      The military has a lower bar than security.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        I can attest to this being true

        t. was rejected for a guard card but got into the National Guard less than a year later.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          The military has a lower bar than security.

          Generally some security guards have better qualifications than most infantrymen, I would rather not waste my skills for the government.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          I've worked plenty of security, with plenty of sketchy terrible people, but the worst of the worst were always ex mil, with the absolute worst being an army national guard cook, still in. ~45, 5'9 st least 300 pounds of lard, and legitimately was moronic.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        I can attest to this being true

        t. was rejected for a guard card but got into the National Guard less than a year later.

        [...]
        Generally some security guards have better qualifications than most infantrymen, I would rather not waste my skills for the government.

        Based actual security work knowers

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        The military doesn't have a lower bar than security and security guards often times are either old coots finding some form of income or college kids looking for part time jobs. The main thing about being a security guard is having the right license, which is often a barrier for most people because they don't want to spend $30-$400 on a license that will only get them a $20 an hour job

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Guard cards are literally free or dirt cheap at the most.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            If you're talking about unarmed, yea. But some people don't want to pay along going through a course that you don't get paid to do. Overall, the entry barrier is mainly the license.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Kek, no. You don’t even have to pass a physical or do any sort of fitness test to get a security job.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          You do have to have some level of social skills and a clean record.
          Being able to tie your shoes unsupervised is also a suggestion in security, or any private sector work.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >some level of social skills
            not if your graveyard shift 🙂

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >not being able to meet minimum requirements to join the police academy

      How is that even possible? I thought American police departments have a very low bar for joining, like only a GED.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >I can't read cursive

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >2 positions open
        >300 applicants
        >thinking the mouth breather will get it
        Only in leftist shitholes with insane turnover rates can the lame brains get through

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Course he will, there was a story of a person denied because he was too smart

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >there was a story of a person denied because he was too smart

            • 3 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              [...]

              why would the police deny a "too smart" applicant?

              https://abcnews.go.com/US/court-oks-barring-high-iqs-cops/story?id=95836

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >there was a story of a person denied because he was too smart

            why would the police deny a "too smart" applicant?

            • 3 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              PDs want patrol cops who are juuuuust smart enough to do their job but not smart enough so that they'll quickly get promoted to manager/detective/SWAT.
              PDs want to patrol cops to stick to being patrol cops as long as possible.

            • 3 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              >checks the /k/ archive
              >some guy says smart applicants apply to be cops just so they can acquire CC for life

              lmao, that can't be right

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >How is that even possible? I thought American police departments have a very low bar for joining, like only a GED.
        Far from the case. Family friend just retired as a Captain in local PD. Her last post was recruiting. Over wienertails, she shared:
        > getting harder to find qualified applicants
        > will take 10 applicants to find 1 person they can send to the academy
        > they have at least one RSO (registered sex offender) apply each year
        > one or two will fail for drug or DUI problems
        > "time and distance are key here, we can work with you if it was years ago"
        > one or two will fail for prior felony convictions
        > "sort of a hard no if prior conviction for murder"
        > then you need to take the standardized test (70% score to pass)
        > then you need to pass oral interviews
        > pro tip: have a good answer for "why do you want to be a cop?"
        > then you need to pass the background check
        > then they'll make a conditional job offer, pending polygraph
        > and interview with the chief
        If you make it through all that, you will get a final job offer.
        And then you still need to make it through the police academy (5 months) and not frick up your field training (another 5 months).
        In general,
        > 10% fail at the testing stage
        > 10-15% fail at the interview
        > 75% don't pass the background
        So, if your PD needs cops right fricking now, they'll need 10 applicants for every vacant position and the 1 person that makes it won't be useful until this time next year.
        t. lives outside of Seattle and is watching first hand what happens when you defund the police

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >that high of a failure rate
          That's pretty fricking grim
          >RSO attempting
          Lol at this bit. Is this the "get in positions of authority to diddle kids" angle I've read about? Guess they were hoping to pass a background check.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >> 75% don't pass the background
          Holy frick. Are we criminalizing too much stuff, or are the only people interested in police work fricking thugs?

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Both.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Think about what kind of person who would want a job where pretty much all your human interaction is gonna be wrangling junkies and the main perk is "sometimes you get to kill someone legally"

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          well shit then why the frick hasnt my local PD contacted me back for my application its been over a week. granted i am applying while having an OOS license but i grew up here
          also you think "to gain experience and training to eventually apply for the NNSA" is a good enough reason to be a cop?

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          No, I don't fugg students. Not that they don't try, I'm young and in shape and work with a bunch of fat morons so a lot of the girls (and a few boys) crush on me pretty bad, but I feel strongly about not exploiting my position of power while these kids are so young in their lives. One year I had an RA that would leave flowers and notes on my car, another girl faked getting roofied so that I'd go to her dorm room and find her naked. One boy told me he wanted to sit on my tazer, college kids are way too horny to keep any hook up on the down-low.
          I do frick the staff and professors though, there's a ton of hot young visiting lecturers that are looking to put out. They don't make enough money to try and wife up or anything, and I'm still trying to bag a sugar mommy with tenure lmao.
          One fun perk I didn't mention before is that we get to keep any alcohol we confiscate. Those little shits have kept my bar stocked since I began working there

          did these guys lie about drug history or are there genuinely still people who haven't had weed in this country?

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >Are you currently a user of...
            No
            >Piss in this cup
            Sure

            If you can demonstrate the level of forethought required to show up with clean piss and don't have an arrest record, you're golden. Also tons of people haven't bothered with weed. Plenty of people don't drink either.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >did these guys lie about drug history
            I asked about that.
            > this is Washington state
            > weed is legal
            > she said 'time and distance' matter here
            > smoked a couple of times in college, fine
            > it's been a couple of years, fine
            > but, oh yeah, I smoke every week, hard no
            You're going to carry a gun, you're going to make decisions about use of force on a daily basis. You have to be drug free.
            Bonus: she said "you'd be surprised how many people jerk off at work"
            > uh, that's a disqualifier?
            > turns out, yeah, it is

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            I’ve never had weed. Never had any friends to try it with. Closest thing I’ve done long ago was Delta 8 and THC-O

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Is IQ capping still a thing?

          I know Freddie from Freddie's Modern Kung Fu on Youtube was fired from the police for being mentally subnormal.

  5. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Modicum of power

  6. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    They couldn't (or shouldn't) become a cop, least the tacticool ones who go out of their way to rp with extra equipment. Those who work for corporate offices/warehouses are pretty chill for the most part since those positions have some barriers to entry like social skills and soft uniforms that these sort wouldn't be okay with.

  7. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    It depends on the post and contract of the guards. You don’t higher a 5ft 3 whale to guard the entrance to a popular after hours night club. You hire the whale to press a button on a gate because a literal monkey could do it. Different standards.

  8. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous
  9. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Security guard working for an actual police department here. It's because there's very few people that want to work for the department despite great benefits (we get the same as officers here). Management is terrified of firing low performers because theyre at least a warm body.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      A police department that needs security guards?

      What state is this and what company if you don't mind me asking.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        NTA but alot of police stations employ private security to handle on-site security and reception work to free up officers for patrol

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Not him but Fort Worth and Dallas have a Security Program for Officers that can't be uniformed PD but still get sent to the City Security sector. Pay is okay, but it comes with a shit ton of OT.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >city security sector

          So... basically standing outside train stations or bus terminals?

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            I dunno, it's east coast nonsense.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Yup and just keeping up a presence on city properties

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Dude, I was just in ft worth and dallas. Fricking palestinians c**ts were protesting the JFK site, being loud and obnoxious. One of these stupid shits with their terrorist flag hit me the face with their flags. Theyre the most oblivious groups of shitbags i've ever had to deal with. I wish Israel would just wipe these insects off the face of the planet.

          Anyway, I did see a lot of security guards patrolling and keeping on an eye on the migrants and homeless.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >One of these stupid shits with their terrorist flag hit me the face with their flags
            Would have been a good self defence shoot. Missed chance Anon.

            • 4 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              lol even. I was hella pissed off and just swatted it away. I had a gun and didn’t want any kind of confrontation. Just walked away pissed.

              >not wishing for the desruction of both Israel and Palestine
              You tip your hand, Rabbi

              I’m Latino. Though, most of my close cousins have done 23 and me and they all have like 1% ashkenazi israelite in their profile. Frick these pricks. Why the frick should I care about these c**ts because their plight is considered current events? Frick ‘em.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >not wishing for the desruction of both Israel and Palestine
            You tip your hand, Rabbi

            • 4 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              jews and brownies deserve each other

              lol even. I was hella pissed off and just swatted it away. I had a gun and didn’t want any kind of confrontation. Just walked away pissed.

              [...]
              I’m Latino. Though, most of my close cousins have done 23 and me and they all have like 1% ashkenazi israelite in their profile. Frick these pricks. Why the frick should I care about these c**ts because their plight is considered current events? Frick ‘em.

              Lol
              lmao even

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                I'm my own person too, moron. Just like you, I form my own opinions - well, maybe not like you /misc/tard. Post a single gun you own.

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                >/pol/tard
                I'm White, why would I go there?

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                >posting a blurry pic
                >why would I go on /misc/
                typically, only complete losers adopt racism as their personality. Those who have literally nothing going for them or they just had their live fall part because theyre so undisciplined or irresponsible. Post a better pic of that rifle schizo lol.

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                Yes, the pic is blurry but I assure you it's a very nice rifle. CMP special grade. I have other aspects to my personality, ese.

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                You know what, anon. As long as that rifle is yours and youre taking care of it, youre alright.

                still would like to see that rifle. I like seeing what others have. I'm still learning about firearms.
                >I have other aspects to my personality, ese.
                fair enough kek

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                Yeah, it's mine. I am unironically paranoid, ergo the blurry pic. My next gun's going to be a nice .22. Garands are neat if you'e into milsurp/history but are somewhat annoying to clean. Yo no shit is this you?

                [...]

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                >I am unironically paranoid
                lol yeah I figured from the signal file name format.

                >next gun is a .22
                Nice, what are thinking of getting?

                I do want some milsurps in the future, more so as projects since I’m more confident in my gunsmithing. And no, that’s not me. I wish though. I’m pretty sure that dude has a shit ton of berettas, more berettas than I have guns in total.

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                You know what anon I don't want to go to bed in the middle of a big gay PrepHole argument. You posted gun, I posted gun. Frens? We can at least agree that palestine protesters are annoying.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        I'm a non sworn security guard that works for a University Police Department. In our case, the non sworn guys handle all the bullshit teenage moron and drama calls, freeing up the sworn officers to deal with serious cases.
        It's a really fun job but the pay is shit and the security side is pretty much the dumping ground for morons who failed at applying to be a sworn officer. But I love fricking with the kids and I've been able to hoard all kinds of neat certs and training opportunities just in case I want to move around to a different line of work

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          The campus cops were some of my favorite guys at undergrad. Bunch of good ol' boys marking time, very laid back.

          Shortly after Russia invaded Ukraine, one of them was driving by in his patrol car while I was preparing to head back home from class. I wore a couple of milsurp jackets the whole way through whenever the weather was cool enough, and it being February at the time I was there in my M65. Well he sees me, rolls down his window and stops and tells me I better break out the Russian camo. Totally caught me by surprise, but we both had a good laugh at that.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          based. Ever fricked teenage(18+) students?

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            No, I don't fugg students. Not that they don't try, I'm young and in shape and work with a bunch of fat morons so a lot of the girls (and a few boys) crush on me pretty bad, but I feel strongly about not exploiting my position of power while these kids are so young in their lives. One year I had an RA that would leave flowers and notes on my car, another girl faked getting roofied so that I'd go to her dorm room and find her naked. One boy told me he wanted to sit on my tazer, college kids are way too horny to keep any hook up on the down-low.
            I do frick the staff and professors though, there's a ton of hot young visiting lecturers that are looking to put out. They don't make enough money to try and wife up or anything, and I'm still trying to bag a sugar mommy with tenure lmao.
            One fun perk I didn't mention before is that we get to keep any alcohol we confiscate. Those little shits have kept my bar stocked since I began working there

  10. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Security here.
    Wish we could be kitted out like this. Mine is an unarmed position, but luckily i dont do shit at all, and i get to study for pretty much my entire shift. So i cant complain
    Anyways, my coworkers and i are nothin like this, but if i had to guess id say its because they want to feel authoritative and powerful when theyre really just pussies

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Based. I love being able to just bring my stacks of homework to my security office. I work in a very rich part of town and the biggest “emergency” I have is a leaky roof. 99% of my shift is just sitting there with nothing to do. Our cameras have also been down for months so I can’t even watch that. So I just study max to get the hell out of there. Most of my revolving door co workers expect way too much money for doing nothing.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >I don't have a gun because my job is monkey tier
      >I should be able to wear a complete plate carrier chest rig with a EMT certified IFAC incase I get a splinter
      >>my coworkers and i are nothin like this

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        I will never understand why office monkeys think they're superior to security monkeys. My brother in Christ I could train a chimp to do your office job. His breath would prolly smell better too.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >cuffs
          >radio
          >oc spray
          >gloves
          There is literally no need for anything else that you couldn't keep in a designated area.
          You aren't operating in the field, it's a warehouse bro.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            DESU, I would add Truncheon/ baton and body cam.
            Body cam for liability and accountability reasons and Truncheon, not necessarily to hit people with, but also becasue it can be useful to have something to poke stuff with.

            The most important tool in a security guards aresenal is training and confindence to do their job effectively and minimise risk to life and limb

            • 4 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              (me)
              I swear to God I did not add that "DESU" origianally

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                Go away newbie

            • 4 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              >Truncheon
              Go away underage eurocuck

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                Go away newbie

                No

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            lot of posts the whole point is being at a very particular location like a door way or exit or shack, and you might have a guy come around to give you piss break or might not, so I have a pretty big backpack and pockets stuffed with everything from Bug Juice to Sunblock to water to Wet Wipes to dust mask to ski mask to caffeine pills to allergy pills to hankies.
            (plus laptop and extra power bank, snacks etc).

            You never know when someone is going to tell you some other clown is AWOL/MIA and they want you to cover a 16hr shift of unknown aspect.

            There are two types of guards, those that know its mostly a BS job only because Insurance requires it, and those that failed the cop psych eval but didn't take the hint. I've known a few guys that became cops and lots of guards who think they will be cops (someday) but never even heard of a successful transition. I think even being a guard puts loser stink on you from police hiring viewpoint.

            Underrated aspect of security is seeing various business operations from the inside that you never dreamed existed, and security normally only answers to top management so you get coveted face time with people that might actually be able to hire. 95% of hiring is just if they personally like you, not HR and resumes.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Office monkeys get paid more

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            As security I make more than the office workers at my wife's work, and they require a bachleors degree.

            • 4 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              If that was true, you would've posted your salary

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                It’s true for me too. Fiancé works in a school position that requires a bachelors while my security job literally accepts anyone with a pulse. It’s not that much more, but still wild.

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                $23/h compared to $18/h for those office workers.

            • 4 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              >a bachleors degree.
              Goddamn they must be rocket scientists. What do they sell, wireless phone wires?

              It’s true for me too. Fiancé works in a school position that requires a bachelors while my security job literally accepts anyone with a pulse. It’s not that much more, but still wild.

              >Teacher at a public school
              Yeah, I'd rather do security as well lmao

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                Not a teacher, just an administrator in one of the programs. But runs major events for a community college in a nice area.

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                It's a biotech company.
                The basic office workers get 18/h, scientist 1s make 16/h, lab assistant are 15/h, and they all need a degree.

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                Frick me, I make 48/h correcting the odd excel mistake and bullshitting with the boys how much we're underpaid.

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                >48 per hour
                >underpaid

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          That is the difference. I monkey doesn't need training to be a security guard lmao

          Office monkeys get paid more

          Get paid more, get to hit on hot interns, get business trips, get recognition on tinder and the 'gram and then when it is weekend get to ball out with the boys and their select fire gats.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          My brother in Christ I don't need to train a chimp to do your sec job, considering it's just scratching your ass and eating your fingernails (in that order). At least the salary is similar, its peanuts!

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Show me a chimp that understands electrical engineering please. I have job for him. Diversity requirements and shit

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            I think this moron thinks that the call center he is guarding is an office job or something. Unless its literally Dunder Mifflin you're not earning less then 40 bucks an hour at an office.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Yeah because itd be fun. Difference is, we wouldnt be gay cringey morons about it

  11. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >impotent rage off topic blog post because securitas denied your application

  12. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Currently mostly just bounce at a club, but I've done every other type other than armored car and hospitals, including contracted armed for my states military department working on a national guard base, armed to the teeth in legal Marijuana operations, and even got my start as a full on Paul Blart.
    AMA

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      You will never experience the sheer thrill of driving a barely running humvee along route Irish while escorting a clapped out rhino and 4 semis delivering Mountain Dew and chef boyardee to the PX. You will never take pleasure in a loose RoE, affording you a wide spectrum of combat manoeuvres as you shoot, AT4 and run over any hajji, civilian or otherwise, who is unfortunate enough not to get out of your way while some failed 92G who wanted some live fire action blares Insane Clown Posse out of tinny speakers to drown out the horrible screams of maimed human beings as you crunch over them. You will never feel like some sort of old school Congo badass from the 60s because the PMC life allows you to avoid your wife and at least pay for a (then) decent education for your estranged kids. You will never stare at your tired, haggard reflection in the mirror decades later as you reminisce about the lives you have taken and the weight pressing down on your soul for what you have done in vain for this country and yet yearn to be back out there in the shit, rolling with misfits and slotting Mahdi insurgents for 10k a month after tax. Why even live?

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        How do I get this anon

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >You will never feel like some sort of old school Congo badass from the 60s because the PMC life allows you to avoid your wife and at least pay for a (then) decent education for your estranged kids.
          speak for yourself

          You will never experience the sheer thrill of driving a barely running humvee along route Irish while escorting a clapped out rhino and 4 semis delivering Mountain Dew and chef boyardee to the PX. You will never take pleasure in a loose RoE, affording you a wide spectrum of combat manoeuvres as you shoot, AT4 and run over any hajji, civilian or otherwise, who is unfortunate enough not to get out of your way while some failed 92G who wanted some live fire action blares Insane Clown Posse out of tinny speakers to drown out the horrible screams of maimed human beings as you crunch over them. You will never feel like some sort of old school Congo badass from the 60s because the PMC life allows you to avoid your wife and at least pay for a (then) decent education for your estranged kids. You will never stare at your tired, haggard reflection in the mirror decades later as you reminisce about the lives you have taken and the weight pressing down on your soul for what you have done in vain for this country and yet yearn to be back out there in the shit, rolling with misfits and slotting Mahdi insurgents for 10k a month after tax. Why even live?

          There's reports of mercenaries fighting in Ukraine (well not just reports, frickers are collabing with warkino tubers to post music videos as well as making videos themselves). Wars are definitely coming, and so will PMC contracts for stationary security as well as what Blackwater became famous for- personal protection and running convoys from A to B. Who knows, maybe they will even openly allow actual offensive mercenary work; it's already going on under hush-hush

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >You will never feel like some sort of old school Congo badass from the 60s because the PMC life allows you to avoid your wife and at least pay for a (then) decent education for your estranged kids.
        speak for yourself

  13. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    ITT: Paul Blart seethe

  14. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Does anyone have that old mall ninja story? Was about some dude LARPing as one and acting like his local mall was hotter then Fallujah. Haven't read it in years.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Gecko45.
      And it wasn't a LARP

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >Gecko45
        >I do not understand the “joke” or the “Rambo.” I am in a high-risk job. It is not the Mall of America, but Ill tell you what its no podunk mall either.I am a responsible citizen who has made the choice to carry at all times. I defend others. If something happens at the Mall then I would be the hero, not those of you who are making fun of me for no reason. Yes Im not a Green Beret but guess what neither are you and unlike you I have to face unruly shoppers every day.My REAL problem is that, like any LEO, I have enemies because of my job. They may have access to high-powered rifles. My job starts and ends at the same time every day. Although I use four rotating routes to drive to and from work, I am still vulnerable during the walk to and from my car. This is the time that I load up on the trauma plates because I DO NOT WANT TO BE SHOT DEAD!Also, someone said that my Tac Team doesn’t get training. Not true. We meet at the range every night and shoot 400 rounds each through weapons that closely resemble our duty setup. We also practice unarmed combat. I am a Master of three martial arts including ninjitsu, which means I can wear the special boots to climb walls. I don’t think any of you are working as hard as I am to be prepared. I asked a serious question about tactical armor and I wanted a serious response. If you want to laugh at somebody, try laughing at the sheep out there who go to the mall unarmed trusting in me to stand guiard over their lives like a God.

        Thanks Anons. Been ages since I read his stuff.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >wasn't a LARP
        Honestly doesn't even matter if it was, because he was the first ever.
        Kinda like watching Aliens today and thinking it feels cliche.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >Gecko45
      >I do not understand the “joke” or the “Rambo.” I am in a high-risk job. It is not the Mall of America, but Ill tell you what its no podunk mall either.I am a responsible citizen who has made the choice to carry at all times. I defend others. If something happens at the Mall then I would be the hero, not those of you who are making fun of me for no reason. Yes Im not a Green Beret but guess what neither are you and unlike you I have to face unruly shoppers every day.My REAL problem is that, like any LEO, I have enemies because of my job. They may have access to high-powered rifles. My job starts and ends at the same time every day. Although I use four rotating routes to drive to and from work, I am still vulnerable during the walk to and from my car. This is the time that I load up on the trauma plates because I DO NOT WANT TO BE SHOT DEAD!Also, someone said that my Tac Team doesn’t get training. Not true. We meet at the range every night and shoot 400 rounds each through weapons that closely resemble our duty setup. We also practice unarmed combat. I am a Master of three martial arts including ninjitsu, which means I can wear the special boots to climb walls. I don’t think any of you are working as hard as I am to be prepared. I asked a serious question about tactical armor and I wanted a serious response. If you want to laugh at somebody, try laughing at the sheep out there who go to the mall unarmed trusting in me to stand guiard over their lives like a God.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >I am a Master of three martial arts including ninjitsu, which means I can wear the special boots to climb walls.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        I think I'm too new to have seen this before, but man I'm glad I just fixed that.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          I actually remembered it as being a /k/ thing because it sounds 100% as something that could have been posted on old /k/. It's a bit dated and a little too much at some point but it's still chefs kiss.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            It was reposted in /k/, but the OP was in a gun formum, maybe ar15.com

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Geco45

      >Can anyone recommend a plate that protects against .338 Lapua? I've been doubling up some IV plates and duct taping them directly to my back but my skin is getting irritated.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Whole thing is here: https://lonelymachines.org/mall-ninjas/

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Fricking incredible anon haha

  15. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    They are bottom feeders who didn't make it into the army (failed physical) or the police (failed any law exam)
    But they still want to live their cowadoody fantasy so they slap on some shit to look cool without having any idea why or why not they would do what they are doing, since they lack formal training or the environment where they would actually gather experience on their equipment.
    I worked security before joining the police force because it was an easy hire and I could do my degrees while earning money. The people you work with who don't do this as a stepping stone either have negative IQ or they gave up on life and couldn't get anything better.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >10/10
      >he completely missed that clown "earpiece" that you see ticket booth workers and the like using

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      A 7/11 security guard is more likely to experience combat than your infantrymen nowadays.

  16. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Lol at the stun gun placement on far left and far right. High on the chest, dominant side, with something right above the grip.

    That'll work. Sure it will.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      The only one whose setup doesn't make me cringe immediately is the beaner second from left.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        He seems to be the only one who put thought into it.

  17. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Imagine if security was allowed to dress up as Noir detectives or western sheriffs.
    Would this be an improvement?

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I think all security should be issued guns, katanas, and leather trench coats.
      Let's bring back that turn of the millenia drip

  18. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    It’s a dead end job for morons who can’t be expected to do anything other than stand around and do nothing all day. Who the frick else do you think they’re going to recruit?

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >getting paid to do nothing
      Don't look a gift horse in the mouth

  19. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Does working security offer any good skills to put on a resume? It does seem like a comfy job

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >CPR training
      >some emergency response for disaster training depending on the site
      >some basic tech and computer skills
      >ability to work weird hours and staying late
      >guard card carrys some weight as it requires some drugs tests and background checks
      Not much else

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Yes, standing around and doing nothing opens your career path to many options including receptionist and retail worker.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Lol this, also getting crackhead or homeless bum blood pressure shit on you.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >CPR training
      >some emergency response for disaster training depending on the site
      >some basic tech and computer skills
      >ability to work weird hours and staying late
      >guard card carrys some weight as it requires some drugs tests and background checks
      Not much else

      If you can do it for a couple years it'll show that you're a good wagie who can handle bullshit pay/hours

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      You'd be better off working in a prison. It's easy as hell just tell felons to frick off when they get uppity and if they really cause a fuss just spray them and drag them to seg. In 4 years I've only had to use force once and it was because a guy kept popping his door open and ran around the day room. Honestly I feel closer to a waiter than LEO because I'm just delivering food/meds to these guys and hall monitor duty when they walk to rec.
      Biggest headache is half the staff are braindead. Drugs aren't as big a meme as it's made.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        How hard is it to get a side hustle going and how hard is it to get some unobserved and uninterrupted alone time with a twink who was just a bit to late with his transition to end up in a female prison?
        Asking for my minecraft RP server ofcourse.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >how hard is it do become a drug dealer and catch AIDs from raping men

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          you become a registered sex offender and get room and board 24/7 in that facility.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >It does seem like a comfy job
      If you want a comfy job where you don’t do much most of the time go become a stationary engineer like I did
      >whats that
      You turn valves, adjust thermostats and sometimes change light bulbs. Basically a custodian. Depends on the job site.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >become a stationary engineer
        How?

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          So, aside from sour grapes, what’s stopping the security guards of /k/ from becoming cops?

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >what’s stopping the security guards of /k/ from becoming cops?
            Well personally I don't have the patience to be a cop and enjoy the fact that my job is just straight up easier than being a cop.
            That said, I don't work in security to LARP as one, I work in security because it pays well enough and I don't mind the work.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Did try. Had a spotless background, BS in criminal justice, and in great physical shape. Not a single bite. They pretty much just want laterals, ex military, or applicants with 5 law enforcement references. Feels bad. Probably dodged a bullet, shits crazy now. Studying for accounting now.

            • 4 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              BS in criminal justice just means you were chasing upper middle class blonde girl pussy instead of studying anon. You can walk into a Manhattan beauty salon and see lower percentage ditzy b***hes then in any BS course.
              Also accounting? With a BS in CJ just go into law with a focus on anything Private or Tax and you'll be a lot happier. People talk shit about AI taking over jobs but accountancy 100% is the field that is going to be hit the hardest.

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                Not a fan of law. It’s fun and all to talk about but I could never pass the bar and actually practice. Accounting so far has been way more fruitful and has a lot more opportunities. And as for AI, that’s what they said about computers and smartphones. They said accounting finance would be obliterated only to find that it exploded. Yeah the job is easier but it’s still a high barrier of entry. Either way, I’ve fallen out of love in law and don’t want to do near it anymore.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            I make significantly more than the local cops and spend all day reading manga on my phone

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            My salary is higher than city police for 1/10th the stress.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            I live in a leftist hell hole where cops are getting buttfricked by the government and the general population.
            We are hoping to move within ~5 years, since no one wants to be a cop here, they are pretty desperate, in ~3 years i might try for it, then do 2 years and when we move try for a Lateral transfer in the new place we live.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Don't want to be one in the large metropolitan city hellscape I'm currently living in, but have honestly considered either that or being a CO at a women's prison (giggity) once I gtfo of here

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Getting my EMT, but aside from that I'm already in the running to be a FL deputy. Also put in my application for USBP so either way I'm gonna be dealing with hispanics and druggies all day, which I already do at my hood bank posts.

            • 4 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              Hope you get shot

            • 3 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              Good Luck

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            I make $9/hr more than my local cops and they have rotating day/night shift cycles.

            And I'm browsing /k/ on the clock rn getting mad overtime

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Engineering seems to always require math which I suck at. Plus sounds like that would require a degree

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >Engineering seems to always require math which I suck at.
          It involves very basic math if anything, trust me I suck at math too. Like middle school level shit. If you can read a gauge you’re already halfway there.
          >Plus sounds like that would require a degree
          Nope. No degree required. Plenty of guys in the trade come right out of high school. Like I said, you’d basically be a custodian who fixes leaks, maybe changes light bulbs. Not janitorial stuff mind you, more like equipment operating and facilities maintenance.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Can it pay well and offer good skills on a resume? I’ve been wanting to go into something maintenance related cause I’m not sure a poli-sci degree is gonna get me anywhere

  20. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    After years of protecting the city as a licensed security officer, I find I've been honed into a high efficiency crime fighter, I can't turn it off, everywhere I go I'm always watching, staying vigilant, observing and reporting

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      After years of security I learned 99.9% of “suspicious activity” is just some moron doing something mundane. Police and guards watch too much true crime and image themselves stumbling on a drug cartel or something.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        What I've found is more people ate involved in drug shit than most think.
        Every shitty little Mexican ran store, that no one uses, but is surviving the current economy, money laundering operations for cartels.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >always watching, staying vigilant, observing

      You should have been doing that anyway, fricktard.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >always watching, staying vigilant, observing

      You should have been doing that anyway, fricktard.

      I feel that anon. The other day I was at this kids party my cousin was throwing for my lil nephew. I'm there with the grown ups just chilling and suddenly I see lil Jaqueel pull out a scissor with intend to maim. In the eyes of the general population I almost murdered him by tossing a 50lb chair full force in his face. Veterans from the industry would have appreciated I saved the lives of Timmy and Tiffany.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        I’m not at that level but I’m certainly always scanning. My girl NEVER sees the shit I see around us. The other day we went for a walk around our apartment complex. A weird guy started following us and I was watching him in my peripherals and kept my hand on my cc pistol. She stopped walking and got really mad I wasn’t paying attention to the conversation despite the fact the weirdo was nearly within arms reach. She had no idea he was 3 feet away from us. He ended up turning and walking away at that moment, pretty sure he just wanted to piggy back through the gate. When she finally noticed him she jumped pretty good and asked me if I had seen him. Yes dear, I did see him.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Good point there. Security jobs are one of the few places where you can still really see why most women can't hack real mens work. It's not as glamorous as being a cop or a marine so it is less attractive to them while at the same time being a lot harder to safeguard or dumb to work down for them. Good on you for keeping your girl safe. She's lucky because most of todays soiboys would have been ambushed in a situation like that.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Used to work outdoor foot patrol at night and unarmed. So I had to watch my ass or I’d be screwed. I love my fiancé but damn she has no concept of danger. Which is weird because she came from a very dangerous country and I came from a privileged background. Life is funny sometimes.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Because women are fricking dumb and inattentive.

  21. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Holy shit, where is this pic from?
    I'm 90% sure I know the ginger on the left from 10+ years ago

  22. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    >how hard is it do become a drug dealer and catch AIDs from raping men

    How the frick else are you supposed to entertain yourself?

  23. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    What's worse, ex mil security, or female secirity?

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >ex mil security
      the unarmed types that flaunt their service like this were usually cooks lol.
      >female security
      Do you even need to ask?

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Female. They hate the job. The workload is almost zero and they still manage to do less than that.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Female security is bad in the sense that they are usually bad workers BUT*
      The ones who aren't landwhales are usually cute-enough tomboy types who are more right leaning and not troongroomed.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        This. I had land Wales and Tom boys at my last site. Tomboys got new jobs and moved up while the landwales got pissy and filed a bunch of sexual harassment claims.

  24. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    There is one that doesn't operate under the state but surpasses them...

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Was that the mall security guy in the ghetto that used to post on YouTube?

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        No, you're thinking of that Atlanta Mall security guy. Last I saw his channel died off because he started doing and stopped doing security.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        I only know him as Left hand Trey. Good people and could hold his liquor the times we met at conventions.

        Used to work outdoor foot patrol at night and unarmed. So I had to watch my ass or I’d be screwed. I love my fiancé but damn she has no concept of danger. Which is weird because she came from a very dangerous country and I came from a privileged background. Life is funny sometimes.

        When she identifies the danger you might be surprised. Had a girl like that who'd go from the sweetest thing ever to a hellcat if she felt danger. Problem was that wasn't as often as it should have been.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Nah Darien Long never looked this cool and was fired for actually doing his job at that mall which was a front for money laundering or something
        Last I heard he lost a bunch of weight due to an infection or something and couldn't do anything physical anymore

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Agent Wolf is guarding the hood from vampires.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >One firearm that is unwieldy as hell to unholster
        homie is gonna be caught sleepin' by my bois frfr

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Begone vampire scum

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Ok, that double blade draw was pretty smooth.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Some motherfricker's always trying to ice skate uphill.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        okay, now lets see him run with all that
        >starts jogging and leaves a trail of bladed weapons

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        What sword?

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Aww
        He reminds me of my son playing pretend with his toys in that completely sincere, chuuni way of acting

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous
      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Can I get a QRD?

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Falls into mall fountain
        Drowns

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      What kind of day walker is that?

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Oh Jesus frick what is it with these guys and the god damn contacts. Also this one reminds me of that Cleveland from family guy looking "Detroit protection whatever" gun fu clown "instructor"

  25. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >want my PI liscense
    >state makes getting it gay as frick

  26. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    morons taking shit too seriously, just make your rounds and wave the light around until something moves.
    t. security

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Basically. My “totally not a solid metal beating club” flashlight took care of all my issues.

  27. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Because you notice the ones that do and ignore the ones that don't, and you are too stupid to realize the world does not conform to your cognitive failings

    >This goes for any threads with a presumptuous OP

  28. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I MAKE SIX FIGURES OVERSEAS WORKING FOR THE STATE DEPARTMENT AS A SECURITY GUARD LMAOING AT YOUR LIVES.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Sounds like boring low threat environment shit.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >envious anon gets paid better than you for just sitting on his ass in kit a few hours a day

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >Pretending to be superior even when he is cut off from a reliable source of Mountain Dew

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Yes. I love being paid so much for minimal risk. I love being able to spend my time off in the city getting drunk and fricking prostitutes. I love that I'll land a comfy, high paying corporate security role when I come back to the US.

        >Pretending to be superior even when he is cut off from a reliable source of Mountain Dew

        I'm no more than 20 minutes away from a US style grocery store

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >This homie things corporate security is high paying
          This isn't fricking Shadowrun dipshot. Corporate threats are negligible and at best you'll be escorting some dipshit who couldn't handle being fired out of the door. If you think that kind of crap pulls in six figgy's a year I've got plumbing job with an equal salary lined up for you.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            moron, that's exactly the kind of job I want. Six figures to manage a basic b***h guard force and electronic security systems. I'm not delusional like the average poster here. I don't romanticize war and violence. And I know for a fact there are corporate jobs that pay that well.

            • 4 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              Corporate security is digging through hours of logs to figure out if Karen's e-mail to herself only consistent her 10 year collection of dog pictures or also contained confidential information if you want to come close to six figures. Unless it is cyber security corporations treat security like Russia treats another conscript. I can't speak for Governmental work but corporations will just see you as another warm body they can toss a median income at. Unless it's a cooperation in the security branch, but guess what; there is some butthole at there that was studying the blade while you were getting drunk and fricking cheap prostitutes who will take your job.

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                I literally have a folder of high paying job listings saved. You have no idea what you're talking about, moron. Even if those jobs didn't exist. I'd have 200k between my checking account, investments, and my 401k. You're such a fricking homosexual moron.

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                I also have a folder of pornstars saved, doesn't mean I get to bang them.
                >Muh 200k
                Poverty tier lmao
                Sorry to shit on your parade anon. But you are 100% like that guy who is in the Marines and has a 100k job stripping floorboards in West Virginia lined up when he gets out.

  29. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I think that says more about the places that you go to. The local Yugioh tourny isn't going to shell out for Rambo.

  30. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I work security at a casino. I just get a tan shirt and a radio. We have actual state police on property due to local laws requiring them and they do most of the really serious work.

  31. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    They're rent-a-cops, no one likes cops much less rent-a-cops.

  32. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    it's a near-minimum wage job for people who are too moronic or disgraced to be cops. an unarmed big black bouncer is better security than an wannabe LEO security guard.

  33. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >Why is this?
    low iq, they are the fall guys for their own behavior and usually have no right to lay a finger on anyone. People to tarded to become cops are borderline special needs
    I do like the guy in the dawn of the dead remake though

  34. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Fun fact CJ from dawn of the dead is celebrated as the perfect samurai death during drinking games in Japan. They even make haikus about him

    CJ warrior essence death
    Both the victor
    and the vanquished are
    but drops of dew,
    but bolts of lightning
    Thus should we view the world.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >"fricking figures"

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        The mustache has something to do with it I think

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Just figures how gay the Japs are. Perfect Samurai death is what the the deaths of Shughart and Gordon in Mogadishu are like.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        CJ-Sans death is purer

        Though my corpse rot

        beneath the ground

        of Musashi,

        my soul remains forever

        Japanese.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Shughart and Gordon,
          Fierce warriors in Mogadishu
          Honored in death's wake.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        I don't know, going out through a fiery explosion while taking out a horde of zombies with you seems a whole lot better than getting shot in the head and having your corpse get raped and mauled by Black folk.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I hate how that movie ends.

  35. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    CJ-san is the beauty of a pure death.

    The Sharp-edged sword, unsheathed,

    cuts through the void.

    Within the raging fire

    a cool wind blows.

  36. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Idk but I'm considering doing it as a 2nd job on the weekends. Seems easy.

  37. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Former casino Security here.
    All we did was stand at doors, escort money, tell tweakers to frick off, and make first contact at domestic disputes happening in the hotel totally unnamed.

    Most of it was helping old people. But I was on a couple serious domestics, thefts, and drug finds. But I also went above and beyond for incidents. I didn't like door duty if I could avoid it.

  38. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    So on the topic of private security what's the best way to find non-meme tier work?

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Do ahitty security work until you have a decent resume then you will get better stuff.
      Or be ex mil in SOF

  39. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    one will protect you. the others will hunt you. choose.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I want the tall Black person with the shotgun and the vest over his white shirt. He looks like he can handle his shit. The rest of these guys, except for the unarmed black guy in the white shirt look like larping goons who probably couldn't even shoot you point blank.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      what the actual frick is the rifle that the fat moron in the middle left pic is holding? i cannot figure it out

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        walther g22 (22lr)

  40. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Because the cool security jobs are usually outside the continental United States or the UK. The oil rig guards, polar bear guards, military contractors, etc. are generally capable guys, so they're able to get those higher-paying jobs.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >The oil rig guards, polar bear guards, military contractors
      Can anyone redpill me on those? I was natty guard infantry for a while, one deployment but no combat or anything. Obviously the latter is reserved for former SF or rangers, but what about the first two?

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        oil rigs are fairly easy to get into, you just probably won't find a job and on indeed.

        polar bear guards are a bit harder to get into, but you're basically just driving a snowmobile to do drive-bys with non-lethals on polar bears. $100k+, and you get to schmooze with rich people so you can segway into VIP security

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        also, not every military contract is for Rangers and secret squirrel guys. My coworker was just a regular Officer Doofy guard and he's on some insane contract in Bulgaria rn

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Military contractors don't have to be SF or rangers to get in. Thats if you apply to homosexual groups made up of dude vets that knows each other. Aside from that, you can get into it if you have the networking to do so regardless of military experience.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Check the links on the right hand side of this blog

        https://feraljundi.com/

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        oil rigs are fairly easy to get into, you just probably won't find a job and on indeed.

        polar bear guards are a bit harder to get into, but you're basically just driving a snowmobile to do drive-bys with non-lethals on polar bears. $100k+, and you get to schmooze with rich people so you can segway into VIP security

        shooterjobs.com

  41. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I sit on my ass and play vidya for 24 hours. Doesn't play best but it barely counts as working.

  42. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Armed patrol OfFiCeR here. We're actually discouraged from wearing or carrying any tactical shit at work. My boss had to talk to me about tucking my pants into my boots because even that was too much. I think it just depends on your company, because our town also has a company of mall operator LARPers.

    our boss basically only lets us wear a gun belt, our uniform, and plates IF they fit the company-designed carrier

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >he thinks blousing pants is tucking them into your boots
      Laughinggirls.jpg

  43. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I did money transports for loomis while I got my associates. It was an alright gig. $24/h. Shit days when I got paired with a mexican. Good days else. Mostly rode with a black dude that couldnt care less or some larperator with a blinged out cz and operator beard. For the most part I tried to be the "jumper". Means being the guy that loads and unloads the cash. Inbetween that I could kick back and study. Problems with the mexican dudes was that they were too lazy so if you didnt drive you had to direct them or they get lost or if you drove it would take them forever to load and unload. Some trucks didnt have ACs. No gps and not allowed to use google maps which sucked. Was pretty laid back except for being paired with larperator. Then everything was super serious. I just told him I studying to become a cop (became electrician and shortly after office job company paid for electrical engineering degree) but he let me study in peace after thinking I want to be a cop. I hate my office job wish I would have actualy went the cop route only upside is good pay (6 figure) at 31 in a cheap midwestern state and no student debt.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >I hate my office job wish I would have actualy went the cop route only upside is good pay
      Is the extra cash worth looking back at your life in 30 years and seeing that all you did was work in an office?

  44. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I've worked in security for the past 10 years, and I take offense to your post. Also, I look nothing like your picrel. Don't know who those knobs are, but the typical security guard looks nothing like that. A very small percentage of security guards are even armed, with either a firearm or even tazer/pepper spray. Weapons are seen an an insurance liability.

  45. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Your average armed American group, wether it be a group legally providing security or “bounty hunters”, or even a self described militia all look cringe compared to even your most low down Yugoslav war Serbian vatnik militias in the 1990’s. I think it’s something in the water

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I'd wager it's because they're LARPers vs people who know for a fact that they're going into combat/have no shit seen combat.

      >I am unironically paranoid
      lol yeah I figured from the signal file name format.

      >next gun is a .22
      Nice, what are thinking of getting?

      I do want some milsurps in the future, more so as projects since I’m more confident in my gunsmithing. And no, that’s not me. I wish though. I’m pretty sure that dude has a shit ton of berettas, more berettas than I have guns in total.

      Based and encryptionpilled. Probably a CZ 457, everyone seems to like those. Can't stand that ugly orange wienering indicator though.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Should also note that at least with militias, nobody who is
        1) actually serious about overthrowing the government or whatever shady shit militias do
        2) has a triple digit IQ
        Is going to let themselves be photographed

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >Probably a CZ 457
        I don’t know anything about CZ, but I do know that most .22lr clones are made by umarex. Umarex pistols are notorious for being badly made with shit parts and terrible QC. Again, I don’t know anything about CZ, but if you get a umarex pistol, you might have to do some work to get it to reliably cycle. Some of those pistols break anyway because the parts are so shitty. Do some research and don’t buy some crappy pistol because it looks good. Just my two cents.

        You can always just polish away that finish on the accents if you wanted to.

  46. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Anyone have any stories about being an actual legally licensed bounty hunter/bail agent? Am intredasted

  47. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    looks like patriot front

  48. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    either give them a easy job, or they’ll turn to selling fenty and meth to your daughter, mother, and/or wife

  49. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Anyone here done amusement park security?
    That shit is real

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Is it amusing?

  50. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Because it is a very undesireable job.

    You are used a disposable meat.
    High rate of being violently attacked.
    Low pay.
    Most companies employing you will turn on you the moment they want to financialy distance themselves, so even less support than most police officers if something bad happens. At least cops have other cops that have thier back.
    You are given rules of engagement that insure you can only react after it is too late if attacked by anyone competent.
    Treated as little more than an early warning system for more important people.
    Often restricted to pathetic weapons.

    It is a beyond bad job, one actually likely to get you hurt or sued or in prison. And tends to appeal to those unable to see that in advance. Flipping burgers is better.

  51. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    While we’re talking about rent-a-cops and such, I wanna chime in and say TSA agents are the worst of the bunch. Always have an attitude, always trying to get people in trouble for no reason, and always fricking FAT.
    I work aircraft maintenance for a major airline at a big job station. They threaten to pull my buddies badge for having a leatherman past security. Luckily, there’s a stipulation in their rules about “tools of the trade” so the union helped him out there, but seriously? Trying to defacto suspend a MECHANIC from work because he had a multi tool?

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I remember a TSA lady complimenting a sticker of a buff waifu on my laptop while I was going through security a few years back. I still remember trying not to blush

  52. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I’m a Security homie and look exactly like that.

  53. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    if you work in house at a hospital you will see and do some crazy shit. hands on every shift. ballistic psychs, visitors, and meth heads. the regular so1s hired were hit or miss. the place I worked was mostly prior military with k9 and a tac team that had to pass the cooper standard quarterly. You're dealing with violent insane shit possible with practically nothing to defend yourself. while I was there I had so many uof with my dog I lost count. for those you had to go to an internal uof board compromised of directors. though, if we went hands on and beat the dog shit out of someone it didn't count as a uof. you just wrote a report and no one cared. I fricked a lot of RNs and cnas on campus while working nights. with shift diff I was making more than local pd. I was at $28 an hour with shift diff. I loved that job but I'm retired military was getting to old for the violence. I broke two ribs during a fight when a guy was trying to stab us, got my workers comp and bounced to enjoy my late 40s. I had multiple knives pulled on me there, luckily never got stabbed. if you want to do real shit find in house hospital security in a city.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      No, I don't fugg students. Not that they don't try, I'm young and in shape and work with a bunch of fat morons so a lot of the girls (and a few boys) crush on me pretty bad, but I feel strongly about not exploiting my position of power while these kids are so young in their lives. One year I had an RA that would leave flowers and notes on my car, another girl faked getting roofied so that I'd go to her dorm room and find her naked. One boy told me he wanted to sit on my tazer, college kids are way too horny to keep any hook up on the down-low.
      I do frick the staff and professors though, there's a ton of hot young visiting lecturers that are looking to put out. They don't make enough money to try and wife up or anything, and I'm still trying to bag a sugar mommy with tenure lmao.
      One fun perk I didn't mention before is that we get to keep any alcohol we confiscate. Those little shits have kept my bar stocked since I began working there

      GOD I wish I was you guys. I work security in hospital myself but its shitty 3rd party contracted and none of the nurses look my way because all the tall Adonis built chad male RNs absolutely steal the show and im more of an ottermode/dex build/Spiderman kinda built guy and the stigma of being >security where im at and considering who I have to work with on my team is just too much of a handicap. I've got a pretty decent resume and I'm going on my 9th ish year total across different jobs throughout my life. Its always something to fall back on but I'm trying to get my armed card and in my state they only want LEO and ex mil even though most of those dudes aren't trying to guard an HOA gate or strip mall. Thanks for reading my blog

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        yeah I would never work third party. they won't hire people from securitas or allied there. a lot would apply too thinking this was warm body. during the huge traveler contracts was the best for getting ass. I think watching us frick someone up to protect them triggered some primal shit in them. you could feel the moisture in the air. the travelers were always surprised by the amount of shit we were allowed to do. I was surprised as well when I first started. looks don't mean much man, carry yourself well, speak with confidence, take pride in your appearance.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Amen to that brother, I definitely do try and its been noticed that I'm not one of the mouth breathers for sure which keeps me going on the shittier days. 100% agreed on the primal bit lol

  54. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous
  55. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    My experience in security
    >Be veteran
    >Cashing in sweet GI Bill money in college in Florida fricking prostitutes, snorting blow, and fishing instead of my homework
    >GI Bill benefits run out
    >No degree
    >Frick
    >Move home to midwest
    >Amazon is first place to hire
    >Frick that job
    >Security looking for veterans
    >Armed security qualification cause of bullshit easy deployment as enabler for 1/75 doing nerd shit
    >Armored car glorified delivery driver gig
    >Run cash to banks
    >Boss is a c**t and keeps fricking with our manifest
    >Frick this going to be CO in jail
    >US Marshal facility
    >All prisoners short timers
    >Nobody wants to write up the dickheads because they get stuck their longer
    >Witness horrible shit
    >Nobody doing shit about it
    >Nobody doing shit about my misconduct either though
    >Eventually get stuck a full 24 hours on shift because homosexual quits
    >Another homosexual quits and I get stuck there for 36 straight
    >Frick this job, frick the inmates, and absolutely frick you too LT
    >Take comfy gig during COVID handing out masks to whiney homosexuals at a bank enforcing Nazi moron Corona policies
    >Argue with Black folk that hate any white dude with a badge
    >What the frick ever dude I don’t care it’s policy so put it on or frick off
    >Be most hated person there
    >Get hired by bank
    >Become comfy as frick banker
    >Got free Glock 17 out of the deal
    Worse ways to spend four years of your life I guess.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      You are a gigantic fricking homosexual.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Gigantic homosexual with a free Glock. Be madder.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Now that you mention it I feel pity instead. Do they offer you workers comp if it blows your knee off?

          https://i.imgur.com/aPkIHU9.jpg

          [...]
          GOD I wish I was you guys. I work security in hospital myself but its shitty 3rd party contracted and none of the nurses look my way because all the tall Adonis built chad male RNs absolutely steal the show and im more of an ottermode/dex build/Spiderman kinda built guy and the stigma of being >security where im at and considering who I have to work with on my team is just too much of a handicap. I've got a pretty decent resume and I'm going on my 9th ish year total across different jobs throughout my life. Its always something to fall back on but I'm trying to get my armed card and in my state they only want LEO and ex mil even though most of those dudes aren't trying to guard an HOA gate or strip mall. Thanks for reading my blog

          >mild typo
          Into the trash it goes

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Possibly. Already lied about PTSD for that full 100% disability so never looked too far into it. Would have been dope to get some more scripts though. Guess I’ll just have to keep selling jacked up credit cards and high interest auto loans to college students and immigrants to make up for it.

  56. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Because their gear decisions are made by corporate fricks who want to minimize cost while outfitting their guards with the shit they think is tacticool.

    Ask me how I know.

  57. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I wonder what percentage of /k/ is personally offended by this premise, having been diet pigs themselves.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      judging that almost half of the replies are seething or coping, I'd say a lot

  58. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >get laid off tech job
    >obviously wont land a similar tech job because everyone's getting laid off everywhere
    >look at other things, see an opening for the local gun store
    >apply but dont get any notification
    >indeed recommends a security guard company
    >need a "guard card" whatever the frick that is
    >look it up
    >i qualify beyond a shadow of a doubt, its actually kind of embarrassing how easy it is
    >but it takes time and I need money now
    >get a job at a grocery store instead
    Its so bad, i got this job at the grocery store as just an immediate "stuff the gauze to stop the bleeding" job but now I like it too much to quit so early.
    I might just give it a year or two. Cold cuts and forklifts are a breath of fresh air after a decade of cubicle work i'll tell you what.

  59. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I did security for like a year on and off. Night Patrol gigs are the best, You get to just drive around and chill while no one messes with you and if you set your timer to get off every 5 minutes you can get away with taking light naps Hotel jobs are pretty comfy but my boss would make me walk around in the cold all night with only a 30 minute break to sit down, Wouldn't let me chill in the challenge to rest my knees.

    Security can be legitimately dangerous or kindergarten cozy, You'll either get somewhere were shit constantly happens or nothing happens, depends on the job site. Most of the people you're gonna deal will be are homeless crack heads just loitering and usually they're not much trouble and if you talk to them a bit, They might give you a rundown on the location and a heads up. Hotels can get pretty wild if the tenants are noisy. If you're Patrolling through middle to low income neighorhods youll have to report alot break-ins

    Although I never got into altercation I heard about coworkers having knives pulled out on them and was even warned that should wear a bullet proof vest to certain locations. When I was starting and a bit naive, I was walking behind a grocery store and saw some dude with glasses chilling in his car with the engine running, conveniently behind the exist to the storage area, I wave him a good hello and carry on about my business. When I finally make it to the front of the store, The grocery lady tells me some chick just ran out the back and escaped in the car.

    Shit like that is how a suburban sheltered autistic NEET like me started getting streets smarts and there's a certain toughness you develop from working this shit, The uncertainty of not what dangerous shit might happen, Having to raise your voice and confront people unlike what you get from lifting and martial arts.
    If you do security, Wear a bullet proof vest no matter were your job is even if its in a posh white people area

  60. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Depends on the security. If its shitty little rent a cop guarding a mall or grocery store, then yeah its losers doing loser work. If its slightly more serious, like PP or protecting a server farm then you get more serious people.
    >I had a neighbor who used to move gold bullion and art and shit that goes from Manhattan to the two airports
    He never gave me the full details but yeah, lvl 4 armor concealed under jackets, civilian looking cars with run-flat tires and some armor plating, mandatory firearms training every month, annual driver training, not allowed to make friends with co-workers (they weren't allowed to talk to each other) etc etc.

    Also, apparently, motorcycles are a big way of moving shit. Totally nondescript looking person on a nondescript motorcycle with a backpack with a $1 mill worth of diamonds or whatever. Driver never knows if he has the backpack with the goods or if he is a decoy. Hiding in plain sight and low level guys never knowing anything was a big part of how they protect stuff.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      That’s badass. I love clever transportation and hiding in plain sight. It’s so clever. Pretty much impossible to sniff out unless you have a leak. Pretty sure there’s at least 5 movies that feature that exact situation

  61. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    it looks like a quite dangerous profession in this movie

  62. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Imagine being a cop but you don't get to be a superior caste that can commit crimes and get away with it.
    Also pay sucks.

  63. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    It's so funny to see people say security are "failed cops/soldiers".

    cops: arrest people for owning guns or pot. Or driving too slow, or too fast, or too far to the right side of the lane, or too far to the left side of the lane. Hated by everyone. Constantly testing everyone you meet to see how many of their rights you can violate before you escalate the situation too far, and even if you are defending yourself, your bosses will throw you under the bus

    military: sent to foreign lands to fight unjustifiable wars for corporations and interests of politicians. Even if you are on the side of the "good guys", the war was probably instigated by an intel op in the name of influence peddling and in no way needed to happen

    OR

    Security: help people who get locked out of their car, remove shoplifters and violent people from the premises or just wait for them to leave, don't start shit or escalate, help people who are genuinely in trouble, don't give a shit about the law

    I'm starting to like the idea of doing security the more that I think about it.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I agree, cops and soldiers serve the state. Guards, at least the good ones, serve the people

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        no you serve corporate interests no different than police/military

  64. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I think I lucked into a higher paying security post than the other ones that were available but so far it's a really, really nice change of pace compared to something like construction. The hours are weird but the fact I get days off is really neat. I'll definitely need to look into getting certifications elsewhere at some point, but for being early 20s it's a dream where I'm at.

  65. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Please just stop wearing all black uniforms, it never looks as cool as you think it does.

    Dress like Mike Vining or something.

  66. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Why is this thread an actual discussion instead of just pics of mall ninjas?

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      50/50 shot this guy is completely incompetent or a John Wick-level killer

  67. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous
    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Frickin Bullet Bill’s fat brother lookin ass

  68. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous
  69. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous
  70. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    the barriers to being a cop in the US are very low. Rent-a-cops are too slow, physically and/or mentally, to be real cops, which is why they're so pathetic.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >the barriers to being a cop in the US are very low
      Depends on where you work. Big cities have high barriers for entry

  71. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    It's cool being friends with guards tho, especially when they're chill because you can basically do stuff like pic rel.

  72. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Guarantee all of them have had sex and probably have a gf/wife.

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