wear full body maille and plate on top, find some other people to cover my flanks with spears and polearms, and just go crazy with halberd and choppers
You could get off way lighter than that. Biker’s leather is way too tough for any weak-ass zombie to bite through. That, a leather gorget, and a biker’s helmet is all the protection you’d ever need.
or even worse, what happened to knights in many medieval battles - since their armour couldn't be penetrated or in some cases even broken through with rocks/heavy stuff, they would just overwhelm them with numbers and hold their arms and legs down solid against the ground and stab them with spears or preferably dirks/knives through any available holes in their armour, like armpits, eye/mouth slit, inner thighs etc.
it would be entirely possible for someone with impenetrable armour to literally be pinned down by a mass of zombies and if they couldn't bite through your armour to die from starvation or dehydration probably
good plan if you want to kill one zombie and then be jumped by the other 40 and die of suffocation in a dogpile. I know you thought halberd was cool in dark souls but you want a sword at the least if you want to do this dumb plan
barricade myself up in my attic for a week or so I guess and come out when they've all decomposed or degraded to the point of being completely harmless
Zombies hordes resemble the primitive human's hunting method, slow but persistent pursuit, there is no counter. You can't run forever and if you stop they will siege you for as long as it take to kill you.
>primitive human hunting method
big meme, only used in the plains of Africa in Europe is was nearly impossible because of inadequate terrains. human beings were originally nocturnal animals
I don't need a source to tell you that trying to hunt a caribou or feral hog across multiple, wet hilly terrains in either broad daylight or pitch black night to somehow 'outrun' it is going to work ever. Maybe use your fricking brain, it'll help. They wandered until they found signs of prey, tracked it or waited and stalked. They didn't find a small antelope and chase it for hours and hours over banks and wooded turn arounds.
>About 250-230 million years ago, the mammalian ancestors, called the therapsids, became exclusively nocturnal, and stayed so until the demise of the dinosaurs 66 million years ago.
You're the type of moron who'll start a blog with insane opinions then start fights on YouTube comments and link to your blog. Unironically get off the internet
So many things wrong with this post >Plains of Africa
Africa didn't have plains 100,000 years ago which is when humans hunted this way, it was mostly jungle area. >in Europe is was nearly impossible because of inadequate terrains
Europe was almost entirely covered with permafrost and not even Neanderthals lived in most of Europe back then, let alone homosexual sapiens. >human beings were originally nocturnal animals
If I didn't know better I'd think you'd be trolling with this one. Doesn't even warrant a serious rebuke.
Guys would being a zombie really be that bad? Aside from the painful death, you aren't getting chased anymore, you can take walks again, and hang with your bros. No worries at all
Find an Amazon warehouse I guess? depending on the state you can get weapons I'm sure or maybe chill in a storage lot since they have pretty good walls and gates around the complex
>massproduce papers that look like they're liberal-leaning government issued about how "people of colour may not show symptoms in the same way as caucasians, so be more patient and understanding with them, bites may not look as clear on their skin" etc to make entire community distrust nonwhites
it's a plan.
As much as "humans are the real monsters" is such an overdone trope I'd really like to see some kind of spoof zombie movie where the zombies aren't even really a danger at all and it's all about people freaking the frick out and killing each other and looting costcos. Kind of like the bear patrol episode of the Simpsons.
Dig a trench, built a fortified wall somewhere, Make a Hill Fort eventually and a well. Farm tomatoes, squash, watermelons. when enough food is storaged start looking for batteries and shit to power up a VCR or DVD and watch movies all day, maybe set up a ham radio to talk to others.
haha imagine just undressing them from a distance with a knife and making them walk around all nude and jiggly haha that would be kind of funny i think
I've wanted to see for a while some sort of zombie movie like this. I feel like if you pulled all their teeth and ripped their nails off you could very easily rape a zombie.
Well, I already have my own land and a small earth shelter, solar panels, battery array, interior well, about ten years worth of dry foodstuffs, all the basic essential equipment, medicine, etc
So I guess I would take everything important out of my house down into the shelter and just NEET around playing offline games and coding and sorting my files and stuff. Or if the solar panels got stolen or something, or just during the winters rather than risk going out to clean them off, I'd just read books by crank flashlight and cope.
People like me who don't hoard or prep or anything will just take stuff from people like you. You can't kill us all, eventually you will get tired and we'll overtake you.
? I'm not going to claw my way through anything, me and my group will just find your bunker hole and wait for you to come out of it and then kill you and take your stuff.
not that anon but if your larp bunker is connected to any air or water from outside, you won't last a year. if they're nice they'll just smoke you out; if they're not you'll get any number of contaminants in your water and/or inert gas that you'll never even smell vented in with your air.
>we'll just find your bunker!
lmao. you'll be offering up your butthole to giga chad for a can of beans and safety in numbers, not locating hidden bunkers you moron
not that anon but if your larp bunker is connected to any air or water from outside, you won't last a year. if they're nice they'll just smoke you out; if they're not you'll get any number of contaminants in your water and/or inert gas that you'll never even smell vented in with your air.
? I'm not going to claw my way through anything, me and my group will just find your bunker hole and wait for you to come out of it and then kill you and take your stuff.
Why are you gleefully fantasizing about being a sociopathic Black person fricking over other people because they were better prepared for a crisis than you?
Because I'm realistic. No I didn't prep or hoard or anything, but I will join the groups who kill others and take their stuff. You think you were smart doing this? You were, but you're also just some loner in a bunker and me and 1000 other starving men will take your stuff after we kill you. Sorry, them's the breaks. Nothing personal. Oh, there's also the fact that I get to take out my genocidal tendencies too.
This. My real plan in a zombie apocalypse is making sure it's total. I'm not resting until every safe house is a buffet and every military site has been compromised.
This. My real plan in a zombie apocalypse is making sure it's total. I'm not resting until every safe house is a buffet and every military site has been compromised.
Zombies don't enough of a mind to enjoy my body and will not be the caviar fed to pigs. I am so delicious, my sweat smells of cured ham. I would find an aristocratic zombie who still has some taste left, hoping his zombie chef roasts me to perfection.
I don't have a good plan. The area I'm in is strategically non-viable. Major city, high-traffic area, densely packed population.
I stopped doing any kind of prepping a long time ago, because there's simply no point. The place I live is not defensible. best I could do is go as many stories up as possible, but that's a death sentence too because you'll just end up trapped.
Try to travel anywhere? Instant death as well
This same logic applies to the potential of Nuclear War for me. I'm not escaping, multiple 750kt warheads would be spread across the area and I would either die instantly or within the next few hours. No viable escape or survival plan is possible.
The benefit is I am an night person, so I would probably just be asleep when it happens.
My only legitimate tactical decision is if suicide is warranted.
Why don't you buy a hot air balloon and keep it stored away? That way when the time comes, you can get away by going to the roof of your building and hot air balloon your way to safety
>zombie apocalypse starts >stay indoor for like 2 days until the military has dealt with it
What can a zombie even do against a tank or a heavy vehicle? Plus, most people got the sense not to go near others who have blood around their mouths and just stood up feeding from a corose
A tank without spotters and logistical support will get stuck somewhere eventually. They are more fragile than you'd imagine and not exactly fuel efficient. Also if zombies climb on it while you're inside, you're stuck driving around with a tiny field of vision and no way out.
It doesn't rotate that fast, and they can still get on top of the turret or somewhere else it doesn't reach. Irl tank school teaches to machine gun a friendly tank that has enemies on top of it, or even fire a shell near it.
>stay indoor for like 2 days until the military has dealt with it
Prolly not. I could see the military just deserting, especially once shit really starts to fail.
28 Days Later rage infected made sense as they were pretty much just humans with super rabies. They all starved eventually as well.
You could sit those out, depending how fast the rest of the population gets infected.
Traditional zombies shouldn't be able to produce body heat, so the further up north you live, the better off you are. They'll just freeze solid n the winter.
this is a good summary. for a plague of fast zombies that can survive in extreme heat or cold you really have to start getting into Resident Evil style explanations where you can just say, "it's ourobourous, i ain't gotta explain shit."
slow zombies are kino because they lead to your death either by simply being TOO MANY and swamping you, where even if you begin to run away from one you'll come across another and so on until they're so very many chasing you, and you know that no matter where or how you stop they WILL catch up eventually...
It's kind of like the monster from It Follows but now there's billions of them and they're visible and after everyone.
fast zombies are just fricked. you're never escaping, you're inevitably getting swarmed and fricked instantly or within a very short time, there's no way to win unless you live on an oil rig with no staircase that also has food and a society on it or something.
>and you know that no matter where or how you stop they WILL catch up eventually...
what [...] said
how are they going to catch up with me when I've looted a bike and fricked off, while the zombies are still shambling in the direction they saw me disappear 3 hours ago and isn't the same direction I'm traveling now?
that's my point though, you may be chased by a couple of them and break line of sight by going around a corner .. but oh, there's another few zombies, and now they're after you. if you turn back the ones you broke LOS with are gonna spot you again and now you have them coming from 2 directions. or you keep going and oh, what do you know, by breaking LOS again there are even more of them in that direction, and now you suddenly have a tail of maybe 5-10 zombies behind you and have to keep going. eventually even if you find a safe corner to LOS them, you'll have like 20 of them coming in your direction, and that could stack up if other zombos hear them making noise in that direction etc ...
if you ask me to I will draw up an autistic MS Paint image to explain what I mean.
>if you ask me to I will draw up an autistic MS Paint image to explain what I mean.
you don't need too because you are wrong, you aren't going to run into a constant stream of zombies every single step you take, you absolutely will be able to find somewhere to hide or get far enough away it doesn't matter, besides zombies typically get distracted by sound so while I'm fricking off and the zombies can't see or hear me anymore, any other sound is going to draw them, as for the zombies that may be ahead in the direction I'm traveling then I have to asses the situation when I see them, am I on foot or on a bike/vehicle? if on foot, have they seen me yet? how many are there? might be a case of kill those 3 zombies or sneak around and keep going
in a vehicle just zoom past them if you can
if it's a massive hoard then obviously you need to go another way, but that doesn't mean turning 180 and going straight back to the other zombies who are probably now chasing something else they can actually see
Bro you can’t have common sense in the zombie apocalypse. You have to do like everyone always does in the zombie movies and get yourself killed in totally avoidable situations that only happened because you’re a moron
>and you know that no matter where or how you stop they WILL catch up eventually...
what
All you have to do with slow zombies is to break line of sight or distract them with fireworks or something. It would be easymode
said
how are they going to catch up with me when I've looted a bike and fricked off, while the zombies are still shambling in the direction they saw me disappear 3 hours ago and isn't the same direction I'm traveling now?
Hoard food, water, medical supplies and whatever else I would need, bunker down in my house with the doors and windows barred, and be very quiet. Then just wait until they decompose and the threat is gone. The real problem wouldn't be zombies, it would be desperate people trying to survive and criminals and sociopaths taking advantage of the breakdown of law and order.
>Fear Itself - 2008 Horror Anthology >"New Years Day" (ep 8)
If you guys want a cool little beginning of the zombie apocalypse story, look this bad boy up. Avoid spoilers and enjoy!
If the zombies do come, I'll just go live in the sewer.
>If the zombies do come, I'll just go live in the sewer.
The only fricking PrepHoletard that actually GETS IT
Remember back in the 50s, they made fallout shelters? Well, since the late 1800s, we were making our own fortified bomb shelters aka the sewer system!
Look up some history, due to the sewer system, Rome grew to be one of the most powerfully built cities in all of history. Aqueducts! God bless em.
I don't care if zombies run, I run everyday and I'm fast as frick. I haven't timed myself but I'm like 99% sure I could beat Usain Bolt's record. I don't care about that shit though, I'l busy with other stuff. So yeah I would outrun the zombies
Scottish highlands is the second least human populated area in Europe and you can live off the lay of the land with the right gear and basic survival know-how.
Scottish highlands is the second least human populated area in Europe and you can live off the lay of the land with the right gear and basic survival know-how.
There's a Crossed web series where the main group are a bunch of people who managed to make it up to one of the Orkneys and they just stay safe there for years until someone fricks it all up
What if zombies were insatiably horny and just fricked you to death? Also only women became zombies, most men just died.
Wouldn't that be scary, h-haha..
Zombie apocalypse would be the great equalizer, so I'd go around murdering celebrities. I'd take Emma Watson and make her my anal sex slave. Who knows...I might get her pregnant if she asks me nicely. Once I get tired of her I'll leave her to her own devices and watch how she gets eaten. One day, in the future, I'll tell my son how his mother was a stupid dumb bawd, too weak to survive in the real world and I'll redpill him about minorities and the federal reserve
>First off get my leather jacked so i couldnt been bitten(humans cant bite through leather) the picrel would be ideal full body armor >Start filling up bath to have drinking water >Go to Neighbor to look around if he still has machetes and all those knives of course ill take axe with me before leaving house. >Once i find it i have to be careful there are living like six people in that house.
Ill need to act quiet and take out the ones in lower levels first and quietly not to alarm anyone. >Then go upstairs and go all out and kill all 4 as quickly as i can. >Fill up the bath with water for later and leave house >After leaving house take care of the dogs both theirs and mine so they wouldnt alarm zombies later. >Repeat with all other neighbors.Now i have several families worth of food and water and a zone around me where shouldnt be many zombies >After that ill go take look if the police station down the street has been raided.i hope ill find some weapons there. >Next ill go raid the vietnamese convenience stores (like a kid in candy shop i always dreamed of this as many instant noodles as i want) >Then barricade in my house and maybe sometimes kill gipsies for fun and occasionaly go for food i aquired from neighbors. >I live in suburbs so once i ran out of foot ill fix up my morcycle(it leaks benzin so i only need to cover it with flex tape) and go check out center of city if uts safe. >The motorcycle will surely attract lot of zombies but they wont be able to catch up.
>going for le scrappy leather armour that goes EEHHH AHHH EHHH AHH creakily every time you move instead of raiding museums until you're a literal knight in steel armour riding on a motor cycle across the apocalyptic zombie world with a morning star
couldn't be me!
>he still thinks armour was cumbersome
I genuinely believe you could move in medieval armour as easily, if not only a slight tad rougher, as in modern biker armour. I mean biker armour isn't really made to be rolled around and acrobatics'd in.
>Zombie Apocalypse starts >Get excited, grab my Zombie Survival Gear and drive to the mall. >Start barricading, collecting what resources I can find >This is going to be great! >3 days later, the last of the rotting, unintelligent zombies are cleaned up by well-equipped Military personnel in bite-proof equipment. >Since the virus only spreads by bite and the symptoms are easy to identify, the outbreak is easily contained and brought to an end. >Life goes back to normal quickly. >Go to prison for looting and vandalizing the local mall.
Literally just have enough food for a month and the while thing will blow over
not only will zombies start decomposing rapidly due to exposure to the elements, but the basic human body needs energy to function, no source of food for zombies (especially after a month) results in them basically being unable to function and basically harmless
>all these people that just give up and die
Where's your sense of wonder and adventure? The world's laws no longer apply. As long as you're careful, you can do anything, anything you want
A minimum of 500 people is needed to build a sustainable gene pool if there is to be a future to the human race in the aftermath, so running aorund like walking Dead and forming gangs that kill each other is the costliest and dumbest mistake you can make. There needs to be rules even if unwritten "pirate rules." And you can't count on others going through the same shit everywhere else to carry humanity forward while you go "Mad Max" with all the lawless fighting and chaos.
One part removed from the canonical Bible is the story of the first divorce, which catholics are against. Adam and Lilith were divorced by God himself, Lilith was cast out into the world where she encountered one of the lords of hell (I think Astaroth), and she bred born-sinner babies to populate the earth with. which began before Adam and Eve were kicked out of the garden. There's no sense of time between how long the two events of Lilith and Adam/Eve entering the world had passed, so generations later in the human world Adam and Eve are out, and the descendants of Lilith and Astaroth are the other people Adam and Eve encounter and begin building civilization with.
Catholics take shit out even it causes holes in the story
2 years ago
Anonymous
the Apocryphal books of the Bible had some of the best shit. Jesus getting pissed at some kid in a sandbox and turning him into a frog was kino.
2 years ago
Anonymous
Wait, that's where the magical frick frog that cures AIDs came from?!?
2 years ago
Anonymous
>jesus gets mad as a child >decides to set you alight for no fricking reason >god allows this
Man young jesus must of been wild as shit.
2 years ago
Anonymous
>Catholics deliberately created a massive plot hole just because they didn't like something
wtf I hate the Pope now. what a bunch of hacks
2 years ago
Anonymous
Its hilarious that not only do ppl not want to acknowledge failed marriages in the bible, but also that Adam went through 2 women who both fricked shit up for the whole of humanity. Goddamn ironic. >Lilth, the origin of b***hes who know it all >Eve, the origin of b***hes who dont listen
Realize that the longer it goes on, the more they rot and the slower they get until eventually they rot away to where they're no threat. The biggest danger is within the first couple of weeks when they're fresh, and then it gets easier. Learn to drink water sterilized with alcohol (grog). Do what Alaskans do in order to deal with bears, and surround all entrance points to buildings with plywood sheets with nails hammered through them. Burn every corpse around to speed up the zombie virus going away in the area, and fire is the best tool for dealing with large groups of zombies.
How would a zombie apocalypse realistically last more than a year? A single summer would probably be enough for their muscles to decompose to the point that they can’t stand up
Make it more about attrition, like the initial zombie outbreak isn't THAT bad, but its bad enough to interrupt supply chains, and while preppers and people with lots of dry food and non-perishables could just shelter in place, everyone else has to start scavenging within a week or two, giving more people a chance to be infected, so the pandemic stretches along for a long ass time as the world basically becomes anarchy.
the actual physical threat of a zombie attack is only one aspect of a scenario like this.
Make it more about attrition, like the initial zombie outbreak isn't THAT bad, but its bad enough to interrupt supply chains, and while preppers and people with lots of dry food and non-perishables could just shelter in place, everyone else has to start scavenging within a week or two, giving more people a chance to be infected, so the pandemic stretches along for a long ass time as the world basically becomes anarchy.
this anon offers up some of the lesser considered problems that start to crop up when the entire world is thrown off its rails. remember how people scrambled and hoarded groceries during the pandemic? imagine how much worse that would have been if they were talking about people eating each other alive on the news.
I'd tie up a bunch of female zombies and rape them for days before I get infected through my dick (I assume the infection can spread through your peehole). When I eventually turn into a zombie myself I hunt down and eat exlusively women
>no electricity >no running water
i would simply, die. you're not about to catch me trying to hedge out a shitty, bleak little Bear Grylls existence in Super Hellworld. i'm barely hanging on in regular Hellworld.
You do know we now have solar-powered electric generators available? They do exist. Find any sporting goods store or maybe even a Wal-Mart, and there you go. Unless you're in the desert there's water all around. You just gotta learn to treat it by boiling and filtering first. Plus findind/crafting drinking cups made out of gold or silver will help as both literally kill viruses, germs, and bacteria on contact with those metals.
The biggest loss for many will be the loss of internet, tiktok, facebook, netflix, etc. I know that'll be responsible for a million suicides, but oh well.
if i already had solar-powered generators on-hand, it might take me a little longer to accept death. that's a valid observation. the fricking attrition of having to defend my shit all the time would wear me down, though. not to mention what a nightmare it would be trying to acquire solar-powered generators post-outbreak if i didn't already have them, or trying to keep them maintained so they're less likely to break down. at some point you would need to learn to build one from scratch.
Kill everyone that wasn’t smart enough to buy guns before the apocalypse. Stocking up on anything other than ammo and water is stupid. If you have a gun, you automatically own everything your neighbours without guns have stocked up on.
Also imagine all the humvees and shit that will be standing around waiting for a warlord to take them and use them to terrorise whats left of the population
I’ll just shoot them in the face right away and take everything they have. Leaving people alive after fricking them over is a recipe for disaster. Every single post apocalyptic movie/show tells you that you moron.
I plan to bug in in the event of [catastrophe] so I'll just adapt it to zombies.
>shitty solar panels sitting outside condo can charge up three golf cart batteries given a week of overcast
which i can hopefully ration to continuously power a hot plate and/or electric kettle and subsist on rice (250lb sealed) and ramen, maybe power a laptop or phone. >pallet of MREs stolen from my unit sitting in my storage thing
lmao frick them. trade b8 because i really don't want to eat them. >pallet of water (iirc 40 packs of 18 1-liter bottles, 700 ish liters) from the Sam's club right next to it
was a pain in the dick to daisy chain them up to the 3rd floor but hey.
I have no other specific plan other than throwing neighbor's (i hope they die) furniture down the stairs to block shit off and then leaning out the various accessible windows of the third floor with my AR-15 to shoot at shit I can see and deem worthy of a bullet. I should get a drone. What else do I need? More water yeah. I plan on filling some water sacks from the bathtub the moment I think it looks like water might get cut off. So an extra 100 gallons or 3 weeks of life lmao.
thing is, that guy with his motorcycle helmet and crash suit is more likely going to be able to get free from that pack than someone without those clothes, the suit and helmet provide protection from fingers and bites, giving him the opportunity to try and fight his way out/wriggle free while someone without it's going to be immediately pulled apart with fingers and teeth
i don't know man, i've seen plenty of zombies just tear people's arms and legs off. that motorcycle suit might not cut it. lol
2 years ago
Anonymous
then what do you suggest? because at the moment you still fair better wearing a motorcycle suit than just regular clothes
2 years ago
Anonymous
i still stand by the plan of "die immediately on my own terms to avoid suffering an excruciating mangling later" lol
2 years ago
Anonymous
>die immediately on my own terms to avoid suffering an excruciating mangling later
I know this is all fun and games but that mentality is absolutely mental to me, I'd rather risk an excruciating death to continue to live in the now free world, so many options to try and avoid the zombies all together, like fricking off on a boat to an uninhabited island or some shit
don't get me wrong I have no delusions I'm going to be a great survivor and live a full life, I'd probably die after a few weeks but I'm going to do my best to stay alive
2 years ago
Anonymous
i like heating, air conditioning, electricity, the internet, medicine, running water, plumbing, and working phones too much to live in zombie world.
i'm also low functional major depressive and medicated, so if i can't refill my prescriptions i'm gonna start coming apart at the seams anyway. any world without pharmacies isn't one i'm lasting long in. lol
2 years ago
Anonymous
>air gets turned off >suffocate
2 years ago
Anonymous
>can finally go around with my ghillie suit capping people without showering for days, eating shit, listening to my mp3 player that runs on aaa batteries and just genuinely having fun without having to talk to another living soul for the rest of my life
Sounds good
the 300 way, but I wear a full leather armor instead of going in naked. I live next to a dam, my cardio and my strength are on point. I'll use a spear with the guys, their numbers won't mean shit.
I have a comfy forest nearby, I know some places that would be good for camping during le zombie survival because
1 so few things there and nearby that no one would go there / no one would go there and then get turned
2 steep hills with lots of gravel, rocks, or leaves and branches so anyone approaching would be very loud regardless of human, animal, or zomb
3 it's got water nearby and wild animals so could probably hunt rabbit and squirrel at worst, deer at very best (even fish in some larger body of water, but that's a bit close to civilisation)
Anon, surely you are PrepHole enough that you have supplies, gear, and clothing to just go anywhere and set up tent, ev en in harsher climate, right ?
All I know is that if brain suckers were chasin me, I'd drop fried chicken and watermelon to distract the Black person zombies. If I'm gonna die, I want it to be by a white man. Like, Hulk Hogan's zombie killing me would be kino. But my question is, why in every zombie film or show, the black zombies ALWAYS run off after fried chicken. It's like splashing vampires with holy water.
I live on the 30+ Floor of a building in a major city, am I; > Fricked because I am trapping myself with no quick way down but stairs? > Better than most because I can use the inaccessibility of my apartment as a defence?
little of column a, little of column b. i vaguely remember parts of a Korean zombie film about a guy who lived on the upper floors of an apartment complex. being high up off the ground was a gift and a curse.
Yeah I think being stuck up a tower block is probably a good way to go mental and frick yourself over.
Probably fine for the first couple of months, as you can scavenge the building and most apartments will only have 2 or 3 zombies at most. When you run out of food and have to go outside, it'll be hell.
I am one of the little goblins who thinks I would kill myself first real sign of Zombie apoc, i've no grand allusions that I will be able to survive given i've zero experience ever really surviving.
Saying that maybe I can just ride out the initial wave here, and if it gets to the point where I am out of food I can just yeet myself off the top floor. I really don't want to get ripped apart bros.
Probably fine for the first couple of months, as you can scavenge the building and most apartments will only have 2 or 3 zombies at most. When you run out of food and have to go outside, it'll be hell.
Yeah I think being stuck up a tower block is probably a good way to go mental and frick yourself over.
[...]
I am one of the little goblins who thinks I would kill myself first real sign of Zombie apoc, i've no grand allusions that I will be able to survive given i've zero experience ever really surviving.
Saying that maybe I can just ride out the initial wave here, and if it gets to the point where I am out of food I can just yeet myself off the top floor. I really don't want to get ripped apart bros.
i will say this, i do like having ring-out as a potential win condition in a zombie fight. if we're on the ground floor and i toss you over the rails, you're coming back across and the fight is continuing. if i toss you over the rails on the 35th floor, it's frickin' over for you, chief. lmaoo
They could create a black hole inside the large hadron collider that gets out of control and destroys our solar system. Then again we wouldn't even see it coming, probably.
Most likely scenario is either the US or Russia exploding nukes in our atmosphere and fricking up 90% of our electronics. That'd be some chaos.
Running zombies = we're fricked, I'll watch the shitshow on the internet till its down, then die like 99% of humanity
Walking zombies = the military of any competent nation will kill them all in a few days, hoards of slow walking corpses are a non-existent threat to an army, the only discussions will be people making up movies and games about how the zombies "could've" wiped out humanity
If you have honestly ever thought about zombies and consider them a credible threat to humanity you are a brainlet of the highest order. You are the cattle fricking up the world, you should throughly think about everything you invest your time into.
A zombie could not exist for more then 1 week. A virus is a living organism that would need to convert energy to ambulate a human body, no thing that is subject to the laws of psychics that lives can survive without an energy source. For a human that means lots and lots of food and water everyday. If the viruses primary method of inoculation was bodily fluids then it’s chances of spreading would decrease tremendously, think about how you feel when you are sick, can you move around disoriented, without water or food, for even a couple of days? Any virus that worked even remotely like Hollywood moron zombies would wear out all useful functions of the host within a week at absolute most. There would be no years and years of corpses walking through cities, this is not possible. Please plan for more serious dangers like a solar flare, a thing that has already happened. This consideration of a biological impossibility is a tremendous waste of your time.
it's 9am dude, why are you already this pissed lmao
2 years ago
Anonymous
Actually a good point thanks man, shouldn’t be. Zombies are just moronic, people seriously considering them pisses me off, or really thinking about the amount of people that seriously consider them piss me off.
2 years ago
Anonymous
nah i feel you, zombie outbreaks are a fun conversation to have but it's definitely the last thing you should be prepping for in real life. there's a lot more plausible shit that could happen. i wasn't the anon you were talking to originally though, i just saw you seemed fired up and wanted to cut the tension with a joke. i'm glad i got through to you. lol
Another autistic materialist *sigh*
Let me explain to your kind once again: the zombie virus is a spiritual force, much like the Biblical Plagues, sent to punish Humanity for our collective sins. It draws energy from 2,000 years of Human Degeneracy, amplified by the knowledge of Christ's Death and Resurrection but complete failure to heed his warnings.
Don't worry though, I'm sure when you're dragged down to Hell you'll find a "logical explanation" for what's happening.
>It draws energy from 2,000 years of Human Degeneracy, amplified by the knowledge of Christ's Death and Resurrection but complete failure to heed his warnings.
if the universe worked this way, and you could stockpile negative energy like that to turn it into a catastrophic weapon, i'm pretty sure the Earth wouldn't still be here. there's no way we're racking up more degeneracy points now than what they were collecting when hitting on a girl was literally hitting her on the head, with a rock, and dragging her into your cave to be your wife. we have jobs and shit to do, we can't just frick farm and pillage all day like they did before we invented light bulbs.
the way you wrote it does sound Biblical as frick though, very ominous.
Let’s autism in this
Africa and India are tropical place where bugs mate all year. With walking corpse : all kind of ants, flys, centipede and corpse eating insect would take care of them in a matters of day
Plus a steady supply of fresh infections in densely-populated places like India and Africa. It ends when the population is reduced so much that it's easy for survivors to stay away from the walking infected until they're dead.
Plus climate matters. The zombie apocalypse won't last as long in Alaska as it would in Hawaii.
Either go North & move in with my Mom, brother & stepdad, who have a house with wood stove heating, a well, a chicken coop, herb & vegetable garden, etc.
Otherwise, move to Florida, preferably an agricultural area with orange & peach trees. I won't have to worry about winter, would have food year round, & wild alligators will eat some of the zombies.
Why dont all you suicide gays just buy some heroin and a needle.
if the zombies come you hang on to it until the last moment and then you will be smiling and high as frick while beeing eaten alive?
1. DON'T flee to the countryside. That's what everyone else will do, that's what those living there will expect, and that's where all of the violence will occur. That's also where the survivors of the governments will send soldiers to force people into slavery for farms, factories, etc. to get civilization going again. All the resources are in the cities anyway, and it won't take much to turn the back yards of residential areas into small farms.
You need to hide from government in the post-apocalypse because with the way shit's going and after Faucivirus there's a strong chance govenment will be responsible for it.
2. make use of gold and silver for cups. They kill bacteria, germs, etc. Gold is malleable enough, so it takes a little cold-hammering to turn a gold coin into a gold cup.
3. learn to make alcohol. It kills germs, and for the right car engine, the moonshiner is the gas station.
die
join them
wear full body maille and plate on top, find some other people to cover my flanks with spears and polearms, and just go crazy with halberd and choppers
You could get off way lighter than that. Biker’s leather is way too tough for any weak-ass zombie to bite through. That, a leather gorget, and a biker’s helmet is all the protection you’d ever need.
zombies are stronger than humans
leatherhomosexuals are the first to go with their girly getups
Based
What's the plan after you're exhausted after 2 minutes and can't move?
you can still get your arms and legs torn off that way.
or even worse, what happened to knights in many medieval battles - since their armour couldn't be penetrated or in some cases even broken through with rocks/heavy stuff, they would just overwhelm them with numbers and hold their arms and legs down solid against the ground and stab them with spears or preferably dirks/knives through any available holes in their armour, like armpits, eye/mouth slit, inner thighs etc.
it would be entirely possible for someone with impenetrable armour to literally be pinned down by a mass of zombies and if they couldn't bite through your armour to die from starvation or dehydration probably
good plan if you want to kill one zombie and then be jumped by the other 40 and die of suffocation in a dogpile. I know you thought halberd was cool in dark souls but you want a sword at the least if you want to do this dumb plan
barricade myself up in my attic for a week or so I guess and come out when they've all decomposed or degraded to the point of being completely harmless
Form turtle formation and conquer the world
Chop down the stairs and chill on the second floor of my house with a bathtub full of nasty water. Die within two weeks.
>not abusing zombie ai with wood fences and wood boxes
ngmi
Well, well, well. Looks who got a house and a second floor.
Innawoods.
I just hope it’s after one of my big Costco runs. Otherwise I’ll try to take over a mini market nearby.
Zombies hordes resemble the primitive human's hunting method, slow but persistent pursuit, there is no counter. You can't run forever and if you stop they will siege you for as long as it take to kill you.
>primitive human hunting method
big meme, only used in the plains of Africa in Europe is was nearly impossible because of inadequate terrains. human beings were originally nocturnal animals
Source
t. my ass
I don't need a source to tell you that trying to hunt a caribou or feral hog across multiple, wet hilly terrains in either broad daylight or pitch black night to somehow 'outrun' it is going to work ever. Maybe use your fricking brain, it'll help. They wandered until they found signs of prey, tracked it or waited and stalked. They didn't find a small antelope and chase it for hours and hours over banks and wooded turn arounds.
Not reading that
Stop making shit up
>human beings were originally nocturnal animals
>source: I saw it in a dream
shut the frick up, moron
https://www.earth.com/news/human-ancestors-nocturnal/
https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwixuMqIk776AhU3LzQIHYG4Bg4QFnoECAEQAw&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.sciencedaily.com%2Freleases%2F2019%2F10%2F191015131505.htm&usg=AOvVaw1Qk_bpkqYip-JzL6b7SWXU
>About 250-230 million years ago, the mammalian ancestors, called the therapsids, became exclusively nocturnal, and stayed so until the demise of the dinosaurs 66 million years ago.
This IS DA REAL human ancestor guys!!!!!! ZOMG!!
Shut the frick up you stupid homosexual. Humans did not come from reptiles you illiterate homosexual.
Looks like your mother (who I fricked)
>250m years ago
Holy moron
The Earth is only like 5000 years old.
>De rabisds :DDD
>humans were nocturnal
>250-230 million years ago, the mammalian ancestors
Jesus fricking christ anon
You're the type of moron who'll start a blog with insane opinions then start fights on YouTube comments and link to your blog. Unironically get off the internet
Humans ackshully lived underwater because our ancestor 500mn years ago did.
Persistence hunting also usually involved hitting the deer with a spear first then following while they slowly bleed out.
Humans were not nocturnal thats horseshit
that by definition is not persistence hunting
A big part of growing up is realizing you don't have to have an opinion about everything
Christ you're fricking moronic holy shit
So many things wrong with this post
>Plains of Africa
Africa didn't have plains 100,000 years ago which is when humans hunted this way, it was mostly jungle area.
>in Europe is was nearly impossible because of inadequate terrains
Europe was almost entirely covered with permafrost and not even Neanderthals lived in most of Europe back then, let alone homosexual sapiens.
>human beings were originally nocturnal animals
If I didn't know better I'd think you'd be trolling with this one. Doesn't even warrant a serious rebuke.
> AGGHHHHH SOMEONE IS CHASING ME AT 2MPH
> THERE IS NO WAY I CAN POSSIBLY SURVIVE THIS
You americans make me sick
just trick them into chasing you off a cliff bro its not that hard
R
Guys would being a zombie really be that bad? Aside from the painful death, you aren't getting chased anymore, you can take walks again, and hang with your bros. No worries at all
You're gonna smell bad and none of the cute girls will wanna kiss you
so nothing changes big deal
Find an Amazon warehouse I guess? depending on the state you can get weapons I'm sure or maybe chill in a storage lot since they have pretty good walls and gates around the complex
shoot every nonwhite on sight
It's the only way to be sure.
>massproduce papers that look like they're liberal-leaning government issued about how "people of colour may not show symptoms in the same way as caucasians, so be more patient and understanding with them, bites may not look as clear on their skin" etc to make entire community distrust nonwhites
it's a plan.
>Zombies? What are you talking about guys?
>He was a zombie?
As much as "humans are the real monsters" is such an overdone trope I'd really like to see some kind of spoof zombie movie where the zombies aren't even really a danger at all and it's all about people freaking the frick out and killing each other and looting costcos. Kind of like the bear patrol episode of the Simpsons.
that is why the ending of Shaun of the Dead was so wholesome
probably begin researching the t virus and set it loose
Go north
Cannibalize some people
Maybe camp up in the mountains
Rape
join the zombies, frick that shit
Dig a trench, built a fortified wall somewhere, Make a Hill Fort eventually and a well. Farm tomatoes, squash, watermelons. when enough food is storaged start looking for batteries and shit to power up a VCR or DVD and watch movies all day, maybe set up a ham radio to talk to others.
Make sure to set up a save file in case you die and lose all your progress.
>savescumming
Fricking hell.
die instantly
Hammock in a big tree, shoot deer.
As soon as the shit hits the fan I'm gonna ride around the wasteland "saving" women so I can make them part of my harem.
>Picking up deadweight
You have plenty of undead pussy all over the place anon
I become Jagi of course!
Also FRICK webp.
Kill everybody. Why take the chance?
How dumb are you
You're literally living in the zombie pocalypse right now
i'm 14 and this is 2 deep 4 me.
shut up homosexual.
>14
Isn't that being underage?
Live off the sea.
>running zombies
Kill myself.
>walking zombies
Die later to a papercut.
Imagine fricking a horde of slow moving zombies like that....... just seeing how many times you could coom before turning
Can you get infected by fricking a zombie?
I'd assume it would be like getting an std, if there is any blood transfer then yes
don't fug zombies if you have a cut on your dick
Probably, Zombussy has it's price.
just don't get bit bro
haha imagine just undressing them from a distance with a knife and making them walk around all nude and jiggly haha that would be kind of funny i think
based haha poster
I've wanted to see for a while some sort of zombie movie like this. I feel like if you pulled all their teeth and ripped their nails off you could very easily rape a zombie.
Probably not use elevators in zombie areas. Not sure they would be pleasant elevator company.
Steroids, meth and a cold forged steel blade in each hand when I run out of ammo. I’m going to frappe these Black folk.
Well, I already have my own land and a small earth shelter, solar panels, battery array, interior well, about ten years worth of dry foodstuffs, all the basic essential equipment, medicine, etc
So I guess I would take everything important out of my house down into the shelter and just NEET around playing offline games and coding and sorting my files and stuff. Or if the solar panels got stolen or something, or just during the winters rather than risk going out to clean them off, I'd just read books by crank flashlight and cope.
can i keep you company?
we can set up an ethernet PrepHole and call eachother Black person all day long
People like me who don't hoard or prep or anything will just take stuff from people like you. You can't kill us all, eventually you will get tired and we'll overtake you.
You trying to claw your way to concrete is as little if not less of a threat than a zombie attempting the same. You won't steal shit, Black person.
? I'm not going to claw my way through anything, me and my group will just find your bunker hole and wait for you to come out of it and then kill you and take your stuff.
>we'll just find your bunker!
lmao. you'll be offering up your butthole to giga chad for a can of beans and safety in numbers, not locating hidden bunkers you moron
not that anon but if your larp bunker is connected to any air or water from outside, you won't last a year. if they're nice they'll just smoke you out; if they're not you'll get any number of contaminants in your water and/or inert gas that you'll never even smell vented in with your air.
Why are you gleefully fantasizing about being a sociopathic Black person fricking over other people because they were better prepared for a crisis than you?
jealousy and spite, of course!
Because I'm realistic. No I didn't prep or hoard or anything, but I will join the groups who kill others and take their stuff. You think you were smart doing this? You were, but you're also just some loner in a bunker and me and 1000 other starving men will take your stuff after we kill you. Sorry, them's the breaks. Nothing personal. Oh, there's also the fact that I get to take out my genocidal tendencies too.
nta but based on how moronic you sound you'd be the one on the raping block if you tried to join a raider gang or whatever.
I don't care if it's zombies, aliens, or the old gods invading our reality, I'm betraying humanity the first chance I get.
This. My real plan in a zombie apocalypse is making sure it's total. I'm not resting until every safe house is a buffet and every military site has been compromised.
Real israelite hours
Bought ten fentanyl pills and stashed them plan on downing them when the shit hits the fan
Hole up with some other human survivors and sell them out to the zombies in exchange for clemency.
Depends
>fast zombies
kms
>infected runners
kms
>slow as twd zombies
Time for the greatest road trip ever!
>99% of the earth's population dies to zombies
>50% of the remaining 1% are black
The numbers don't add up, Jerry!
>50% of the remaining 1% are black
If you're talking TWD that's a very conservative estimate.
The blacks will survice because of their superior genes. In the end, they will get all the zombie pussy, no way around that white boi
Zombies don't enough of a mind to enjoy my body and will not be the caviar fed to pigs. I am so delicious, my sweat smells of cured ham. I would find an aristocratic zombie who still has some taste left, hoping his zombie chef roasts me to perfection.
I don't have a good plan. The area I'm in is strategically non-viable. Major city, high-traffic area, densely packed population.
I stopped doing any kind of prepping a long time ago, because there's simply no point. The place I live is not defensible. best I could do is go as many stories up as possible, but that's a death sentence too because you'll just end up trapped.
Try to travel anywhere? Instant death as well
This same logic applies to the potential of Nuclear War for me. I'm not escaping, multiple 750kt warheads would be spread across the area and I would either die instantly or within the next few hours. No viable escape or survival plan is possible.
The benefit is I am an night person, so I would probably just be asleep when it happens.
My only legitimate tactical decision is if suicide is warranted.
Why don't you buy a hot air balloon and keep it stored away? That way when the time comes, you can get away by going to the roof of your building and hot air balloon your way to safety
Next door neighbor is a single mother with a 10 year old daughter. Run over to "save" them, mother doesn't make it.
Repopulating the Earth after a global catastrophe is a noble pursuit. I too shall take a young bride.
Treasure hunting??
>zombie apocalypse starts
>stay indoor for like 2 days until the military has dealt with it
What can a zombie even do against a tank or a heavy vehicle? Plus, most people got the sense not to go near others who have blood around their mouths and just stood up feeding from a corose
>What can a zombie even do against a tank
frick up the treads enough it is eventually disabled. Enjoy your tomb.
A tank without spotters and logistical support will get stuck somewhere eventually. They are more fragile than you'd imagine and not exactly fuel efficient. Also if zombies climb on it while you're inside, you're stuck driving around with a tiny field of vision and no way out.
Can't they just swing the cannon around really fast to knock off the zombies on top?
It doesn't rotate that fast, and they can still get on top of the turret or somewhere else it doesn't reach. Irl tank school teaches to machine gun a friendly tank that has enemies on top of it, or even fire a shell near it.
Ok if the tank gets totally overrun then isn't there some kind of bottom hatch you can escape out of? Or did the walking dead lie about this?
That tank was one I'm unfamiliar with, but current US military tanks don't. Older tanks often did.
>he hasnt read World War Z
>stay indoor for like 2 days until the military has dealt with it
Prolly not. I could see the military just deserting, especially once shit really starts to fail.
Find a ginger QT to live the rest of my days with
I've always hated fast zombies.
What's powering them to run like that? Do they get tired?
At least normal zombies make sense, as they're essentially just dragging their dead body
normal zombies don't make any sense either
rigormortis
Lots of zombie shit forget basic physics like needing to consume energy or you know what zombies bodies do with the flesh they eat
Fast zombies are just rabid humans that don't feel pain
They're only fast while they're fresh. The threat diminishes each day.
28 Days Later rage infected made sense as they were pretty much just humans with super rabies. They all starved eventually as well.
You could sit those out, depending how fast the rest of the population gets infected.
Traditional zombies shouldn't be able to produce body heat, so the further up north you live, the better off you are. They'll just freeze solid n the winter.
this is a good summary. for a plague of fast zombies that can survive in extreme heat or cold you really have to start getting into Resident Evil style explanations where you can just say, "it's ourobourous, i ain't gotta explain shit."
slow zombies are kino because they lead to your death either by simply being TOO MANY and swamping you, where even if you begin to run away from one you'll come across another and so on until they're so very many chasing you, and you know that no matter where or how you stop they WILL catch up eventually...
It's kind of like the monster from It Follows but now there's billions of them and they're visible and after everyone.
fast zombies are just fricked. you're never escaping, you're inevitably getting swarmed and fricked instantly or within a very short time, there's no way to win unless you live on an oil rig with no staircase that also has food and a society on it or something.
All you have to do with slow zombies is to break line of sight or distract them with fireworks or something. It would be easymode
that's my point though, you may be chased by a couple of them and break line of sight by going around a corner .. but oh, there's another few zombies, and now they're after you. if you turn back the ones you broke LOS with are gonna spot you again and now you have them coming from 2 directions. or you keep going and oh, what do you know, by breaking LOS again there are even more of them in that direction, and now you suddenly have a tail of maybe 5-10 zombies behind you and have to keep going. eventually even if you find a safe corner to LOS them, you'll have like 20 of them coming in your direction, and that could stack up if other zombos hear them making noise in that direction etc ...
if you ask me to I will draw up an autistic MS Paint image to explain what I mean.
You are fricking moronic
>if you ask me to I will draw up an autistic MS Paint image to explain what I mean.
you don't need too because you are wrong, you aren't going to run into a constant stream of zombies every single step you take, you absolutely will be able to find somewhere to hide or get far enough away it doesn't matter, besides zombies typically get distracted by sound so while I'm fricking off and the zombies can't see or hear me anymore, any other sound is going to draw them, as for the zombies that may be ahead in the direction I'm traveling then I have to asses the situation when I see them, am I on foot or on a bike/vehicle? if on foot, have they seen me yet? how many are there? might be a case of kill those 3 zombies or sneak around and keep going
in a vehicle just zoom past them if you can
if it's a massive hoard then obviously you need to go another way, but that doesn't mean turning 180 and going straight back to the other zombies who are probably now chasing something else they can actually see
Bro you can’t have common sense in the zombie apocalypse. You have to do like everyone always does in the zombie movies and get yourself killed in totally avoidable situations that only happened because you’re a moron
>and you know that no matter where or how you stop they WILL catch up eventually...
what
said
how are they going to catch up with me when I've looted a bike and fricked off, while the zombies are still shambling in the direction they saw me disappear 3 hours ago and isn't the same direction I'm traveling now?
Find a busty zombie cut her hands off cut her teeth out and fondle her. I am very lonely
capture a hot zombie and have sex with her
Pretend to be zombie/dress up as animal/use willpower to become a hyperzombie (zombie that hunts zombies, but can never die, because zombie.)
Go into my bunker, play vidya and frick my pocket pussy until I eventually kill myself.
Sail into the ocean and find an oil rig or island to live on
sit around indoors watching kino for the 4-5 days or so it would realistically take for all the zombies to become immobile carcasses
I already view everyone as subhuman it wouldn't be any different
get eaten alive, my chest hurts just from rolling around in the bed.
>most fit PrepHole poster
Hoard food, water, medical supplies and whatever else I would need, bunker down in my house with the doors and windows barred, and be very quiet. Then just wait until they decompose and the threat is gone. The real problem wouldn't be zombies, it would be desperate people trying to survive and criminals and sociopaths taking advantage of the breakdown of law and order.
Find Jill so she can protect me.
>Fear Itself - 2008 Horror Anthology
>"New Years Day" (ep 8)
If you guys want a cool little beginning of the zombie apocalypse story, look this bad boy up. Avoid spoilers and enjoy!
If the zombies do come, I'll just go live in the sewer.
>If the zombies do come, I'll just go live in the sewer.
The only fricking PrepHoletard that actually GETS IT
Remember back in the 50s, they made fallout shelters? Well, since the late 1800s, we were making our own fortified bomb shelters aka the sewer system!
Look up some history, due to the sewer system, Rome grew to be one of the most powerfully built cities in all of history. Aqueducts! God bless em.
i wish every city had like 40 floors of fallout shelter sewer tunnels beneath it. that would be so frickin' creepy and cool.
Winter. Zombies don't have body heat so they'll freeze.
I don't care if zombies run, I run everyday and I'm fast as frick. I haven't timed myself but I'm like 99% sure I could beat Usain Bolt's record. I don't care about that shit though, I'l busy with other stuff. So yeah I would outrun the zombies
>UK
Scotland would be a good place to go where barely anyone lives. Take the camping gear and risk getting food from shops etc.
OR stay at home and wait it out. I really doubt zombies could get through the composite doors made today
Scottish highlands is the second least human populated area in Europe and you can live off the lay of the land with the right gear and basic survival know-how.
>all of that mounted on a woodframe
There's a Crossed web series where the main group are a bunch of people who managed to make it up to one of the Orkneys and they just stay safe there for years until someone fricks it all up
blowhole
stealth, suspicion and no mercy
Take the Claimerpill
"Why hurt yourself when you can hurt other people?"
>become king of a polynesian island
>marry 15 women
>annex all other pacific islands
>have myself declared a god
>amerisharts
>have plan and routines for a zombie apocalypse
>don't have plans for diabetes, atherosclerosis and cancer
Why are they like that?
once the apoc starts, you'll be thanking your stars for that bit of fat to burn before your muscles start to go
OnionZ
Rape everyone
and that right there?
that's why i'll never ever lower my guard
sex zombies
What if zombies were insatiably horny and just fricked you to death? Also only women became zombies, most men just died.
Wouldn't that be scary, h-haha..
i'd sill brian them before they can touch me
i don't want that kind of stink on me
Zombie apocalypse would be the great equalizer, so I'd go around murdering celebrities. I'd take Emma Watson and make her my anal sex slave. Who knows...I might get her pregnant if she asks me nicely. Once I get tired of her I'll leave her to her own devices and watch how she gets eaten. One day, in the future, I'll tell my son how his mother was a stupid dumb bawd, too weak to survive in the real world and I'll redpill him about minorities and the federal reserve
The one thats been plaguing the world since 2012?
We are in a zombie apocalypse right now
An underground sex dungeon where I hunt zombie chicks and twink survivors and chain them up as sex slaves
>First off get my leather jacked so i couldnt been bitten(humans cant bite through leather) the picrel would be ideal full body armor
>Start filling up bath to have drinking water
>Go to Neighbor to look around if he still has machetes and all those knives of course ill take axe with me before leaving house.
>Once i find it i have to be careful there are living like six people in that house.
Ill need to act quiet and take out the ones in lower levels first and quietly not to alarm anyone.
>Then go upstairs and go all out and kill all 4 as quickly as i can.
>Fill up the bath with water for later and leave house
>After leaving house take care of the dogs both theirs and mine so they wouldnt alarm zombies later.
>Repeat with all other neighbors.Now i have several families worth of food and water and a zone around me where shouldnt be many zombies
>After that ill go take look if the police station down the street has been raided.i hope ill find some weapons there.
>Next ill go raid the vietnamese convenience stores (like a kid in candy shop i always dreamed of this as many instant noodles as i want)
>Then barricade in my house and maybe sometimes kill gipsies for fun and occasionaly go for food i aquired from neighbors.
>I live in suburbs so once i ran out of foot ill fix up my morcycle(it leaks benzin so i only need to cover it with flex tape) and go check out center of city if uts safe.
>The motorcycle will surely attract lot of zombies but they wont be able to catch up.
>going for le scrappy leather armour that goes EEHHH AHHH EHHH AHH creakily every time you move instead of raiding museums until you're a literal knight in steel armour riding on a motor cycle across the apocalyptic zombie world with a morning star
couldn't be me!
>Step from motorcycle to get groceries
>Oh no here comes roider but with all that heavy armor im too slow to get to motorcycle in time
>he still thinks armour was cumbersome
I genuinely believe you could move in medieval armour as easily, if not only a slight tad rougher, as in modern biker armour. I mean biker armour isn't really made to be rolled around and acrobatics'd in.
The issue isnt as much about movement but about weight
But it would be super badass anyway
Motorbike leathers boots gloves ect
Probably head to Appalachian mountains.
>Zombie Apocalypse starts
>Get excited, grab my Zombie Survival Gear and drive to the mall.
>Start barricading, collecting what resources I can find
>This is going to be great!
>3 days later, the last of the rotting, unintelligent zombies are cleaned up by well-equipped Military personnel in bite-proof equipment.
>Since the virus only spreads by bite and the symptoms are easy to identify, the outbreak is easily contained and brought to an end.
>Life goes back to normal quickly.
>Go to prison for looting and vandalizing the local mall.
Literally just have enough food for a month and the while thing will blow over
not only will zombies start decomposing rapidly due to exposure to the elements, but the basic human body needs energy to function, no source of food for zombies (especially after a month) results in them basically being unable to function and basically harmless
don't forget bugs and buzzards gobbling up all that rotting flesh in no time. can easily knock it down to a few days
But what if these zombies are leftists and won't die
Simple I'll go to the Winchester
Have a peaceful painless suicide.
>all these people that just give up and die
Where's your sense of wonder and adventure? The world's laws no longer apply. As long as you're careful, you can do anything, anything you want
A minimum of 500 people is needed to build a sustainable gene pool if there is to be a future to the human race in the aftermath, so running aorund like walking Dead and forming gangs that kill each other is the costliest and dumbest mistake you can make. There needs to be rules even if unwritten "pirate rules." And you can't count on others going through the same shit everywhere else to carry humanity forward while you go "Mad Max" with all the lawless fighting and chaos.
Frick that, I'm going to spin the inbreeding roulette wheel.
so you're telling me i need to kidnap 499 women
Yes.
>500
It's more like 14.
Then how did the first few creatures who need copulation to breed do it? Checkmate atheists.
One part removed from the canonical Bible is the story of the first divorce, which catholics are against. Adam and Lilith were divorced by God himself, Lilith was cast out into the world where she encountered one of the lords of hell (I think Astaroth), and she bred born-sinner babies to populate the earth with. which began before Adam and Eve were kicked out of the garden. There's no sense of time between how long the two events of Lilith and Adam/Eve entering the world had passed, so generations later in the human world Adam and Eve are out, and the descendants of Lilith and Astaroth are the other people Adam and Eve encounter and begin building civilization with.
Catholics take shit out even it causes holes in the story
the Apocryphal books of the Bible had some of the best shit. Jesus getting pissed at some kid in a sandbox and turning him into a frog was kino.
Wait, that's where the magical frick frog that cures AIDs came from?!?
>jesus gets mad as a child
>decides to set you alight for no fricking reason
>god allows this
Man young jesus must of been wild as shit.
>Catholics deliberately created a massive plot hole just because they didn't like something
wtf I hate the Pope now. what a bunch of hacks
Its hilarious that not only do ppl not want to acknowledge failed marriages in the bible, but also that Adam went through 2 women who both fricked shit up for the whole of humanity. Goddamn ironic.
>Lilth, the origin of b***hes who know it all
>Eve, the origin of b***hes who dont listen
Actually.
oh no id have to frick my daughterwives
what a horrible fate
Realize that the longer it goes on, the more they rot and the slower they get until eventually they rot away to where they're no threat. The biggest danger is within the first couple of weeks when they're fresh, and then it gets easier. Learn to drink water sterilized with alcohol (grog). Do what Alaskans do in order to deal with bears, and surround all entrance points to buildings with plywood sheets with nails hammered through them. Burn every corpse around to speed up the zombie virus going away in the area, and fire is the best tool for dealing with large groups of zombies.
How would a zombie apocalypse realistically last more than a year? A single summer would probably be enough for their muscles to decompose to the point that they can’t stand up
Make it more about attrition, like the initial zombie outbreak isn't THAT bad, but its bad enough to interrupt supply chains, and while preppers and people with lots of dry food and non-perishables could just shelter in place, everyone else has to start scavenging within a week or two, giving more people a chance to be infected, so the pandemic stretches along for a long ass time as the world basically becomes anarchy.
the actual physical threat of a zombie attack is only one aspect of a scenario like this.
this anon offers up some of the lesser considered problems that start to crop up when the entire world is thrown off its rails. remember how people scrambled and hoarded groceries during the pandemic? imagine how much worse that would have been if they were talking about people eating each other alive on the news.
>zombies driving cars
I'd tie up a bunch of female zombies and rape them for days before I get infected through my dick (I assume the infection can spread through your peehole). When I eventually turn into a zombie myself I hunt down and eat exlusively women
>i'd trip over and be too fat to pull myself up in time to avoid the descending zombie bites
kino but alo lose some weight fricker
>no electricity
>no running water
i would simply, die. you're not about to catch me trying to hedge out a shitty, bleak little Bear Grylls existence in Super Hellworld. i'm barely hanging on in regular Hellworld.
You do know we now have solar-powered electric generators available? They do exist. Find any sporting goods store or maybe even a Wal-Mart, and there you go. Unless you're in the desert there's water all around. You just gotta learn to treat it by boiling and filtering first. Plus findind/crafting drinking cups made out of gold or silver will help as both literally kill viruses, germs, and bacteria on contact with those metals.
The biggest loss for many will be the loss of internet, tiktok, facebook, netflix, etc. I know that'll be responsible for a million suicides, but oh well.
if i already had solar-powered generators on-hand, it might take me a little longer to accept death. that's a valid observation. the fricking attrition of having to defend my shit all the time would wear me down, though. not to mention what a nightmare it would be trying to acquire solar-powered generators post-outbreak if i didn't already have them, or trying to keep them maintained so they're less likely to break down. at some point you would need to learn to build one from scratch.
Rape.
Kill everyone that wasn’t smart enough to buy guns before the apocalypse. Stocking up on anything other than ammo and water is stupid. If you have a gun, you automatically own everything your neighbours without guns have stocked up on.
Also imagine all the humvees and shit that will be standing around waiting for a warlord to take them and use them to terrorise whats left of the population
>hands over poisoned food
"Haha wow, can't believe those morons didn't even try to fig-ACK!!!!"
>proceeds to vomit comical amounts of blood
I’ll just shoot them in the face right away and take everything they have. Leaving people alive after fricking them over is a recipe for disaster. Every single post apocalyptic movie/show tells you that you moron.
I plan to bug in in the event of [catastrophe] so I'll just adapt it to zombies.
>shitty solar panels sitting outside condo can charge up three golf cart batteries given a week of overcast
which i can hopefully ration to continuously power a hot plate and/or electric kettle and subsist on rice (250lb sealed) and ramen, maybe power a laptop or phone.
>pallet of MREs stolen from my unit sitting in my storage thing
lmao frick them. trade b8 because i really don't want to eat them.
>pallet of water (iirc 40 packs of 18 1-liter bottles, 700 ish liters) from the Sam's club right next to it
was a pain in the dick to daisy chain them up to the 3rd floor but hey.
I have no other specific plan other than throwing neighbor's (i hope they die) furniture down the stairs to block shit off and then leaning out the various accessible windows of the third floor with my AR-15 to shoot at shit I can see and deem worthy of a bullet. I should get a drone. What else do I need? More water yeah. I plan on filling some water sacks from the bathtub the moment I think it looks like water might get cut off. So an extra 100 gallons or 3 weeks of life lmao.
>zombie apocalypse movie
>not a single body armor in sight
Why don't they wear it? Zombies just have human teeth.
zombies also tend to grab and pull at you
That's cool, I'm wearing a motorcycle crash-suit.
just don't get grabbed and don't get knocked down
thing is, that guy with his motorcycle helmet and crash suit is more likely going to be able to get free from that pack than someone without those clothes, the suit and helmet provide protection from fingers and bites, giving him the opportunity to try and fight his way out/wriggle free while someone without it's going to be immediately pulled apart with fingers and teeth
>jacket zipper breaks 20 seconds after getting pulled to the ground
that's 20 seconds longer to try and do something than a zombies hand going straight through your chest at 1 seconds
>reinforces with straps and steel hooks
*shoots you*
Should have worn kevlar and ceramic plates you biker dummy
>nukes you
should've made a bunker while you had the time homosexual
Zipper that's designed to hold up to sliding along the road at 200kmph? try harder spastic
i don't know man, i've seen plenty of zombies just tear people's arms and legs off. that motorcycle suit might not cut it. lol
then what do you suggest? because at the moment you still fair better wearing a motorcycle suit than just regular clothes
i still stand by the plan of "die immediately on my own terms to avoid suffering an excruciating mangling later" lol
>die immediately on my own terms to avoid suffering an excruciating mangling later
I know this is all fun and games but that mentality is absolutely mental to me, I'd rather risk an excruciating death to continue to live in the now free world, so many options to try and avoid the zombies all together, like fricking off on a boat to an uninhabited island or some shit
don't get me wrong I have no delusions I'm going to be a great survivor and live a full life, I'd probably die after a few weeks but I'm going to do my best to stay alive
i like heating, air conditioning, electricity, the internet, medicine, running water, plumbing, and working phones too much to live in zombie world.
i'm also low functional major depressive and medicated, so if i can't refill my prescriptions i'm gonna start coming apart at the seams anyway. any world without pharmacies isn't one i'm lasting long in. lol
>air gets turned off
>suffocate
>can finally go around with my ghillie suit capping people without showering for days, eating shit, listening to my mp3 player that runs on aaa batteries and just genuinely having fun without having to talk to another living soul for the rest of my life
Sounds good
>motorcycle crash-suit
babby tier
Looks very lightweight and breathable :^)
the 300 way, but I wear a full leather armor instead of going in naked. I live next to a dam, my cardio and my strength are on point. I'll use a spear with the guys, their numbers won't mean shit.
Move to altitude. Zombies can't make it up the mountain to any ski resort town. Never a single zombie movie takes place in the mountains.
That is because all american movie producers grew up in suburbs and don’t know what nature is
>steal a plane
>simply stay in the air for a few weeks
ez
I have a comfy forest nearby, I know some places that would be good for camping during le zombie survival because
1 so few things there and nearby that no one would go there / no one would go there and then get turned
2 steep hills with lots of gravel, rocks, or leaves and branches so anyone approaching would be very loud regardless of human, animal, or zomb
3 it's got water nearby and wild animals so could probably hunt rabbit and squirrel at worst, deer at very best (even fish in some larger body of water, but that's a bit close to civilisation)
Anon, surely you are PrepHole enough that you have supplies, gear, and clothing to just go anywhere and set up tent, ev en in harsher climate, right ?
if human werent nocturnal why do i eyes adapt to they dark moron
cuz god on our side blood
if humans can't breathe underwater, why is 60% of all humans water?
>doesnt know aquatic ape theory
hahaha, touche
Rule.
>save a cute e-girl
>teach her how to survive
>make her wear micro bikinis and maid outfits
Vast majority of people die getting sniped by other humans while on supply runs. That's why I'm going underground.
what are the zombies plan for me? they're not ready for me.
capture neighors and use as sex slaves and meat. necessary because after 4 weeks without sex you'd lose all hope and be ready to have a nice day
All I know is that if brain suckers were chasin me, I'd drop fried chicken and watermelon to distract the Black person zombies. If I'm gonna die, I want it to be by a white man. Like, Hulk Hogan's zombie killing me would be kino. But my question is, why in every zombie film or show, the black zombies ALWAYS run off after fried chicken. It's like splashing vampires with holy water.
>If I'm gonna die, I want it to be by a white man. Like, Hulk Hogan's zombie killing me would be kino.
lmfaoo holy shit
I live on the 30+ Floor of a building in a major city, am I;
> Fricked because I am trapping myself with no quick way down but stairs?
> Better than most because I can use the inaccessibility of my apartment as a defence?
little of column a, little of column b. i vaguely remember parts of a Korean zombie film about a guy who lived on the upper floors of an apartment complex. being high up off the ground was a gift and a curse.
Yeah I think being stuck up a tower block is probably a good way to go mental and frick yourself over.
I am one of the little goblins who thinks I would kill myself first real sign of Zombie apoc, i've no grand allusions that I will be able to survive given i've zero experience ever really surviving.
Saying that maybe I can just ride out the initial wave here, and if it gets to the point where I am out of food I can just yeet myself off the top floor. I really don't want to get ripped apart bros.
Probably fine for the first couple of months, as you can scavenge the building and most apartments will only have 2 or 3 zombies at most. When you run out of food and have to go outside, it'll be hell.
i will say this, i do like having ring-out as a potential win condition in a zombie fight. if we're on the ground floor and i toss you over the rails, you're coming back across and the fight is continuing. if i toss you over the rails on the 35th floor, it's frickin' over for you, chief. lmaoo
Why not think about a real apocalypse instead, like the Carrington Event?
They could create a black hole inside the large hadron collider that gets out of control and destroys our solar system. Then again we wouldn't even see it coming, probably.
Most likely scenario is either the US or Russia exploding nukes in our atmosphere and fricking up 90% of our electronics. That'd be some chaos.
Running zombies = we're fricked, I'll watch the shitshow on the internet till its down, then die like 99% of humanity
Walking zombies = the military of any competent nation will kill them all in a few days, hoards of slow walking corpses are a non-existent threat to an army, the only discussions will be people making up movies and games about how the zombies "could've" wiped out humanity
>jogging zombies = day time televsion reports about racial profiling of zombinated individuals
Yeah but what about zombies that walk at a brisk pace ?
If you have honestly ever thought about zombies and consider them a credible threat to humanity you are a brainlet of the highest order. You are the cattle fricking up the world, you should throughly think about everything you invest your time into.
Realistically they wouldn’t be a threat to western society but places like africa and india would be fricked
A zombie could not exist for more then 1 week. A virus is a living organism that would need to convert energy to ambulate a human body, no thing that is subject to the laws of psychics that lives can survive without an energy source. For a human that means lots and lots of food and water everyday. If the viruses primary method of inoculation was bodily fluids then it’s chances of spreading would decrease tremendously, think about how you feel when you are sick, can you move around disoriented, without water or food, for even a couple of days? Any virus that worked even remotely like Hollywood moron zombies would wear out all useful functions of the host within a week at absolute most. There would be no years and years of corpses walking through cities, this is not possible. Please plan for more serious dangers like a solar flare, a thing that has already happened. This consideration of a biological impossibility is a tremendous waste of your time.
It’s all just fiction anyway you autistic moron.
Don’t downplay the amount of time you and your Reddit homosexuals have spent “planning” for muh zombies, fricking cattle midwit shitskin.
it's 9am dude, why are you already this pissed lmao
Actually a good point thanks man, shouldn’t be. Zombies are just moronic, people seriously considering them pisses me off, or really thinking about the amount of people that seriously consider them piss me off.
nah i feel you, zombie outbreaks are a fun conversation to have but it's definitely the last thing you should be prepping for in real life. there's a lot more plausible shit that could happen. i wasn't the anon you were talking to originally though, i just saw you seemed fired up and wanted to cut the tension with a joke. i'm glad i got through to you. lol
Another autistic materialist *sigh*
Let me explain to your kind once again: the zombie virus is a spiritual force, much like the Biblical Plagues, sent to punish Humanity for our collective sins. It draws energy from 2,000 years of Human Degeneracy, amplified by the knowledge of Christ's Death and Resurrection but complete failure to heed his warnings.
Don't worry though, I'm sure when you're dragged down to Hell you'll find a "logical explanation" for what's happening.
>It draws energy from 2,000 years of Human Degeneracy, amplified by the knowledge of Christ's Death and Resurrection but complete failure to heed his warnings.
if the universe worked this way, and you could stockpile negative energy like that to turn it into a catastrophic weapon, i'm pretty sure the Earth wouldn't still be here. there's no way we're racking up more degeneracy points now than what they were collecting when hitting on a girl was literally hitting her on the head, with a rock, and dragging her into your cave to be your wife. we have jobs and shit to do, we can't just frick farm and pillage all day like they did before we invented light bulbs.
the way you wrote it does sound Biblical as frick though, very ominous.
imagine having to believe such utter horseshit in order to justify your own doomer fantasy. zombies are not real and never will be
Let’s autism in this
Africa and India are tropical place where bugs mate all year. With walking corpse : all kind of ants, flys, centipede and corpse eating insect would take care of them in a matters of day
Plus a steady supply of fresh infections in densely-populated places like India and Africa. It ends when the population is reduced so much that it's easy for survivors to stay away from the walking infected until they're dead.
Plus climate matters. The zombie apocalypse won't last as long in Alaska as it would in Hawaii.
>zombie lift operators
Rake and pistol. Spikes into the head then headshot, good to keep distance then shoot
>zombie podcasters and 'influencers'
think your dog would remain loyal if you became a zombie and follow you around aiding you while doing your zombie shit?
Dogs alert zombies kill them first
lick some zombie feet
I'd bunker up with Tommy Gunn
Either go North & move in with my Mom, brother & stepdad, who have a house with wood stove heating, a well, a chicken coop, herb & vegetable garden, etc.
Otherwise, move to Florida, preferably an agricultural area with orange & peach trees. I won't have to worry about winter, would have food year round, & wild alligators will eat some of the zombies.
>stepdad
cuck
I won't dead cause open inside
Why dont all you suicide gays just buy some heroin and a needle.
if the zombies come you hang on to it until the last moment and then you will be smiling and high as frick while beeing eaten alive?
Nothing. City fricks will be the only fricks to die.
A life without libshitz. I can only dream.
Id join a group and destroy them from within by letting myself become infected and not saying shit. Frick all of you.
1. DON'T flee to the countryside. That's what everyone else will do, that's what those living there will expect, and that's where all of the violence will occur. That's also where the survivors of the governments will send soldiers to force people into slavery for farms, factories, etc. to get civilization going again. All the resources are in the cities anyway, and it won't take much to turn the back yards of residential areas into small farms.
You need to hide from government in the post-apocalypse because with the way shit's going and after Faucivirus there's a strong chance govenment will be responsible for it.
2. make use of gold and silver for cups. They kill bacteria, germs, etc. Gold is malleable enough, so it takes a little cold-hammering to turn a gold coin into a gold cup.
3. learn to make alcohol. It kills germs, and for the right car engine, the moonshiner is the gas station.
just admit you want to shoot at FEMA staff and cops. no need to pretend you are preparing for a "zombie apocalypse"
zombie apocalypses are a fantasy for mentally ill people who would enjoy shooting at humans if it had no moral consequences
what if the animals become zombies like birds