What weapons could have been used in an assassination attempt against Vladimir Putin?

What weapons could have been used in an assassination attempt against Vladimir Putin?

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  1. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    magic... sharks... who the frick cares? He survived

  2. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Polonium-soaked silver bullets

  3. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    polonium banan

  4. 2 years ago
    Anonymous
  5. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Novichok cola

  6. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Attach his Copium mask tube to Nikocado Avocado's colostomy bag.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      holy shit we found him, a man more evil than putin himself

  7. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Well it's Russia and we heard of no close jumps out of a window so poison.

  8. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    My throbbing hard penis

  9. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >Kremlin confirms rumor of assassination attempt on Putin

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Exactly

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Oligarchs or FSB?

  10. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    heart attack gun

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      but instead of the shellfish toxin he'lll get the polonium AIDS

  11. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    what if they just lock the door to his bunker from the outside?

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >chimp_rattling_cage_door.webm

  12. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >that their was

  13. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Did he actually make it back to the Kremlin under his own power or is he going to be reported dead in an hour or so?

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      lmaoooo

      The poison laced butthole of a 9 year old boy?

      lol

  14. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    it was some kind of explosive that could be thrown with a single hand, his motorcade was cut off by an ambulance with dead dude loaded in the front seat, and another vehicle threw some kind of charge at putin's actual vehicle, picking it out of the decoys. the vehicle made it away, putins motorcade never stopped, and he's probably fine. But some of his top security guys disappeared immediately afterwards, and I bet they got gulaged or killed, and that we'll see more attempts.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      seems pretty amateur for a serious attempt

  15. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    The poison laced butthole of a 9 year old boy?

  16. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    An open window.

  17. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    a good old Ak-47, the irony will be so good.

  18. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    sink the boat hes on with a torpedo attack
    shoot down the aircraft hes in with air-to-air missiles
    blow up his car with ATGM

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >blow up his car with ATGM
      this one seems like the most obvious one considering the ongoing war and the corrupt-as-frick vatnik army
      how hard can it be to get a hold of something like this if you allready have the money and connections to know where and when Punty will be driving?

  19. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    A remotely triggered landmine or IED. The US secret service sweeps for things like this ahead of the presidential motorcade. If someone was willing to go out with a bang, ramming Putin's limo with a truck loaded with HE.

  20. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Nuke

  21. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    zip ties, a sledgehammer, good lighting and multiple 4k cameras

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      almost forgot: ASMR grade stereo microphone setup

  22. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I kinda hope putin lives and stays in power and is forced to co exist with Ukraine and the rest of the world, then he can take his anger out on his shitty russian npc populous

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Agreed, and the population will be fed propaganda saying that everything wrong with their economy is the West's fault. And they will eat it up. None of them will move, they will just live in a perpetual anger about their present and future livelihoods.

      Meanwhile the super rich will continue to have access to Western luxuries, send their children to private schools in the West, etc.

      I genuinely believe that Russians NEED to be under some sort of authoritarian ruling. The only proof you need is to look at their history. But it's also not like they are too pussy to do something about it. They are just content with being drip fed what ever scraps from the table their Government daddy gives them. Russians, eternal victims of their own fault.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        North Korea?

  23. 2 years ago
    Anonymous
    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >Germans claiming they're the reason for the success in Ukraine
      LMAO FRICKING GERMS.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        >rent free

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          nah man, it wasn't due to the hundreds of tanks the Poles sent, the dozens of artillery pieces the americans and bongs sent... no no no, it was *squints* 25,000 helmets and a couple of gepards! oh and some phz2000 that died in a month.

          scholz is a liar and a cheat and will do anything to get the status quo of russia back

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          Rent free? You do know Ukraine’s ambassador to Germany Andrij Melnyk responded to this claim with "Unpopular opinion: FRICK OFF", right? Not even the Ukrainians believe this lol.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      boy Putin was a paranoid schizo already these sorts of articles have to get to him even a little

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous
  24. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >"did someone try to assassinate you?"
    >"no."
    >"HA THIS IS PROOF THAT A HITMAN ALMOST KILLED YOU. YOU FELL FOR MY RUSE!"
    why is /k/ like this?

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      It's Russia, they are not exactly known for being truthful.

  25. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Rumour was some kind of explosive.

  26. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Tochka-U

  27. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    It didn't work, so probably a Russian nuke

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Ah yes, the nook

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