>We're in the pipe, five by five

>We're in the pipe, five by five
Listen up, /k/ommandos. Choose your role in the squad, make up a touching backstory if you like, and tell us what weapons you're packing on this op. Looks like another goddamn bug hunt.

250 Piece Survival Gear First Aid Kit

LifeStraw Water Filter for Hiking and Preparedness

250 Piece Survival Gear First Aid Kit

  1. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    I'm Greg the rapist. I rape. Any and all POWs or civilians must be kept away from me. When the war is over, I've got a rape list to get through.

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      They've got acid for blood

      • 10 months ago
        Anonymous

        condoms

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      Cпacибo дoктop

  2. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    I brought a 45, more than enough to kill bugs, yessir, don't need to be no snowflake with 99 bullets when one does fine AMEN

  3. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    >Viper, on station
    >The sky's belong to me pilot
    >No where to run
    >No where to hide

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      just picked that game up for 2.99 on a steam sale and it's a fricking blast holy shit. Campaign is way too short.

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      just got back into the game, still one of the most fun games ive ever played. i love it so much.

  4. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    I got a massive erection, a mean chili recipe, and a horrible case of tinnitus

  5. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    Standard pulse rifle. I've seen the movies so I know what happens. I earn Ripley's trust by explaining to her Burke's motives and having her check the company logs to prove I'm right. We still have to enter the colony and get ambushed because the LT is a moron but post ambush everyone believes me because I described exactly how it'd go down and we manage to retreat early so Apone doesn't get gibbed. We tip off Spunkmeyer and pilot lady about their stowaway and they manage to bag it and survive thus we can extract via dropship. We nuke the site from orbit and get home safely.

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      If the pilot doesn't have a 10mm pulse rifle what then? I doubt a handgun could do it

      • 10 months ago
        Anonymous

        I refuse to believe the pilot and her copilot do not have access to a 10mm pulse rifle either already on board the dropship or somewhere near where their dropship is stationed. But just in case, we alert the pilot to lock her door. Spunkmeyer dies and when she lands we kill the alien and the we go home.

        • 10 months ago
          Anonymous

          Thats a better plan, sealing off the wienerpit (or at least keeping an eye on with with a gun) wouldn't risk anyone who can fly

        • 10 months ago
          Anonymous

          >60+ families go missing
          >that's about 200~ or so colonists gone dark
          >Yeah let's send one squad of Colonial Marines, a WY executive, an android and a consultant who was the lone survivor of the Nostromo
          >no one left behind the Sulaco
          >no extra pilot + crew
          >no extra CM squad waiting to drop down
          >everyone thinks it's just a bug hunt, nobody brings extra ammo and supplies just in case
          >Lt. Gorman is only armed with a pistol, homie didn't even bother carrying his own M41A Pulse Rifle

          • 10 months ago
            Anonymous

            Something something about hubris

      • 10 months ago
        Anonymous

        I refuse to believe the pilot and her copilot do not have access to a 10mm pulse rifle either already on board the dropship or somewhere near where their dropship is stationed. But just in case, we alert the pilot to lock her door. Spunkmeyer dies and when she lands we kill the alien and the we go home.

        When the 2nd dropship comes under remote control, it's chalk fricking full of Pulse Rifles and flamethrowers, zero reason to assume the first Cheyenne wasn't loaded up as well.

        • 10 months ago
          Anonymous

          >chalk
          Chock, dude. Chock!

  6. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    I just wanted free college and will end up dying as a background character/extra

  7. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    Skinny weapons guy. (That is, 50% of /k/, with the other half being fat weapons guy.)

  8. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    Nuke the entire site from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      Hold on one second. This installation has a substantial dollar value attached to it.

      • 10 months ago
        Anonymous

        They can bill me!

  9. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    I am Archangel-1. A 3.2m tall cyborg grown in a test tube and implanted with various animal and artificial DNA as a chimera hybrid to create the ultimate killing machine. I require 20kCal a day just to sustain my mass and have reflexes equal to the speed it takes electrons to travel down my nerves. In addition to subdermal armor and a reinforced skeleton I have a nano-carbon weave suit that hardens in response to trauma and have a fully integrated HUD system linked up to my 14mm reciprocating rifle.

    I will die in the opening scene being a wienery douchebag to set up the stakes for how deadly the bad guys are only for them to then lose to two civilians and a small child later on.

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous
    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      >I will die in the opening scene being a wienery douchebag
      lmao

  10. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    >Choose your role in the squad
    I am the attached intel officer whos a complete stranger to everyone in the unit and who has secret orders that cause some observant people to become mildly suspicious of my activities and they later come a major plot point in the story unexpectedly
    >what weapons you're packing
    sidearm and extra short tactical PDW loaded with armor piercing rounds

  11. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    I'm Lieutenant Clydesdale Bonestaff. My weapon is chambered in .22 Eargesplitten Loudenboomer, and I'm here to fffffuuuuuck...

  12. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    I'm the resident mechanic. I love fixing things, and flesh disgusts me.

    I'm equipped with an axe, a flamethrower, a plasma rifle and 4 mechanic arms I can control with my head.

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      I never understood that... doesn't headbutting your arms into position get tiring after a while?

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      Attention mechanic, dropship pilot here, do not frick with the flight controls on my bird, I finally have them calibrated how I like them, and if I have to recalibrate them I will shit in your toolbox every chance I get, and it will not be a solid log you can remove easily, I will eat as much chili as will fit inside my body beforehand.

  13. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    I'm Jace but you can just call me da car boy. I'm armed with dual deagles. I also have a bowie knife with the marine motto inscribed on it.

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      Holy Trips.

      • 10 months ago
        Anonymous

        deagle nation forver brother

  14. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    I'm Jerry. I'm a nutjob with a massive deathwish that ironically grants me a enviable plot armor. I carry a shiny sawed off over-and-under, a slightly rusted machete, and the most beaten up C-9 you ever saw. I appear at random, make some comic-relief tier remarks, then blast my way towards the enemy for the cycle to begin again. I once appear with a NTW 20, and once with a grocery bag full of claymores.

  15. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    I'm a cowboy lookin for anything heavy. I get along with Hudson but don't like hicks. Ramirez wants me. Bad. I'm not going back to any prison planet.

  16. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    T-14 Armata here, my role is support. Some people say that I don't really exist, but that's far from the truth. As a support specialist, I spend the bulk of my time in Mongolian basket-weaving forums demoralizing the Aliens with my superiority. In essence, winning the battle before it even starts. But when I do make a battlefield appearance, look out! I use my patented ScreamDrive powerplant to stun and immobilize the enemy with the tortured groans of imprisoned machine spirits. If the enemy manages to close, I block their path by stalling in the most inconvenient location, and when they bunch up around me I detonate my auto-loader, taking dozens of xenos with me and allowing the rest of my team to safely escape.

  17. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    man i wish i could have been her.... i bet she got so wet when she saw that alien on her ship...

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      I like how Fireteam addressed that issue by modifying the dropships so the cargo module is now a separate container that attaches to the underside of the dropship, so if xenomorphs get in it they can just detach the container and nope the frick out of there.

  18. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    I'm a .38 special snub nose
    I have a goal in life, it's not a wife or some grand dream
    no, it's to end one dream
    I don't care if I spend all the movie in some frickers boot, I will survive, I will make it out and I will do the one thing i was born to do

  19. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    I'm the flamethrower guy, this is my first combat mission.
    I go missing in the hive and am never seen again.

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      >bring a woman with your squad
      >she flames her own man while screaming hysterically causing all your ammo to explode

      • 10 months ago
        Anonymous

        >bring another woman with your squad
        >she disobeys orders to hand over ammo and starts firing explosive rounds underneath a nuclear reactor

  20. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    Must be the cornbread.

  21. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    I'm part of the liaison team. What does ONI mean, you ask? I wouldn't worry about it.

  22. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    co-pilot, professional smuggler, drops bombs and flies combat missions for recreation. substance abuse problems, has never crashed an aircraft that wasn't shot to pieces

  23. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    I want to be a velociraptor. Can I be a velociraptor in this?

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      Sure why not, you were grown in a lab and you're some kind of experimental guard dog.

  24. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    I'd be in Ferro's pipe, five by five.

  25. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    I just want to protect the people i love.

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      Who is this qt?

      • 10 months ago
        Anonymous

        ai

        • 10 months ago
          Anonymous

          Not perfect, but surprisingly good hands.

        • 10 months ago
          Anonymous

          Not perfect, but surprisingly good hands.

          I was about to say, those are really good hands for a robot.

          • 10 months ago
            Anonymous

            Robots are getting better with hands. Guns however

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      https://i.imgur.com/WfBskNg.jpg

      ai

      Army or navy?

  26. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    Certified penis inspector.
    Private Jim Bone, grew up in west Texas where there weren't any steers, but was forced into military enlistment after raping my father to death. It was very sad. Very sad indeed.

    I'll be carrying a buttplug and a 5 gallon tub of KY jelly.

  27. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    I’m the team‘s dog handler, except the dog is a rambunctiously untrained mascot of a mix that just chews through doors.

    I also do psychological profiling.

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      He's eating through the suit!

  28. 10 months ago
    Anonymous
  29. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    My name is Ugata Ngabusa. I am the last of the Rwandan mecha-commandos. Our unit was officially disbanded after the first war, but we continued operating in secret. Apparently our prowess was a threat to the world order as CIA drone striked our base a few months after. Some blame this on a gas leak in a 70-year-old installation, but those are clearly agents running psychological operations. I am the only one that survived (in picture, in the middle).
    I'm bringing my own power armor.

  30. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    This mission was fricked up since the Lt. in charge didn't even bother taking Ripley seriously.

    Ripley should have told the Muhreens what the xenomorph looked like, how it killed her crew, how it hides inside vents, how its green blood is corrosive and melts through everything, is sneeki breeki and how it hates fire.

    The moment they ended up together in the medbay and saw the facehuggers inside the vats was the part she was paid for and told everyone to shut the frick up and listen to her.

  31. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    Game over man, game over!
    >rip Bill Paxton

  32. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    >Hey everybody, my name's Matt and it's my first day. I asked where the bathroom was and I got lost. I don't think I'm in the right place.

  33. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    My name, John Alien. My job, shoot Alien.

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      >t. Jakey Human from Earth Oblast

  34. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    I'm John Shovel. I have a shovel. I shovel the enemy.

  35. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    I an a perfectly normal human science officer I am here to study the bugs. Totally not because I'm trying to make alien waifus that would be silly.

    I did bring my own M41.... and no I totally didn't enhance myself with illegal genetics that'd be silly.

  36. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    I can handle the driving. I'm good with cars, and SPEED.
    However, I have a phobia... manual labor, so I'd have to be an officer.

    As long as I can draw penises on our equipment and tell obscene jokes over the radio, we have an understanding. Also, don't ask me to park a trailer. I can do it, no problem, but it's beneath me.

  37. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    I'm the sniper

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      You're the sniper who gets eaten while in overwatch

  38. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    dibs on a smartgun. I don't care what the frick the rest of you are doing. double-check your IFF transponders please.

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      >runs out of ammo fast
      >you're practically immobile and at the mercy of ayys not ambushing you from behind or at a dead spot
      >can't be used for shoot and scoot
      >can't be used inside vents and tight spaces
      A smart homie will always carry a M44A1 with a flamethrower attachment

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      >runs out of ammo fast
      >you're practically immobile and at the mercy of ayys not ambushing you from behind or at a dead spot
      >can't be used for shoot and scoot
      >can't be used inside vents and tight spaces
      A smart homie will always carry a M44A1 with a flamethrower attachment

      "Let's Rock" said the illegal alien to the other alien, as a long burst of heavy exposive rounds torn into the primary heat exchanger. "All I need to know is where they are, muchao." She arced her long, man like arms in deadly torrent of fire....

  39. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    I’m Juan the gun Muerte I have a Mossberg shockwave loaded with slugs.

  40. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    I'm Johnny gayosauros; i like plugs.
    I will wear a facehugger as a tight fit tanga; getting a chestbuster inside my anus in the process. I will then proceed in shitting out the chestbuster showing aliens a peaceful and degenerate way to coesist. I identify as a non binary t72 autoloader.
    As Aliens have dignity, they will kill me and my smelly offspring immediately.

  41. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    I wanna be Hudson

  42. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    if yall havent already, recommend reading "Aliens: bug hunt"
    Great anthology series, the audio book on audible is super well done. one of my favorite stories is written like a history channel episode on "tales of the gun" and just about the development and use of the Pulse Rifle.

    it's a really fun book if you like the Aliens Universe

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