unconventional/improved weapons

post how mundane objects could be used as weapons (for self defense of course)

I'll go first:
>belt wrapped around wrist to use buckle as brass knuckles

250 Piece Survival Gear First Aid Kit

LifeStraw Water Filter for Hiking and Preparedness

250 Piece Survival Gear First Aid Kit

  1. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >a whole frozen salmon

  2. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >$1 Utility Knife
    >

  3. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Are we talking improvised weapons to beat your wife with?

    Well the belt is a good choice, but so is a wooden spoon, bathbrush, hairbrush (charging cable if you want to keep things quiet)

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      those leaves marks, get one of those gel stress balls in 2 pairs of wool socks

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >(charging cable if you want to keep things quiet)
        >Quiet
        Really? I use a telephone cable on my wife now and then, and the way she screams is anything but quiet. I think it might be the weight of the copper inside but that thing cuts like a knife, it's on a completely different level to anything you get with a whip, crop or belt.

        [...]
        Leaving marks is part of the fun though.
        Who doesn't like to see some evidence of their handiwork?

        Well that's what gags are for anon. Cables/cords really are remarkable though, even the smaller ones sting like crazy. Even hurts when they're already bruised/numb. Thank God for women who like getting beaten

        Wait, wait, wait...
        Are we talkin S&M or "don't burn dinner again"?

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          It's an either /or?

          Come on man, live a little.

          Or don't. I tied bdsm to domestic bullshit and she started doing shit deliberately and fully expected all our shit to be resolved that way.

          . . .
          You can use a Japanese kataba as a paddle if your b***h is into knife play. I think knife play is incredibly lame and for people who don't regularly use knives, and so therefore see them as exotic, but I will compromise, and spanking her backside with a pullsaw without cutting her gives me a sense of satisfaction in my work and apparently is scary enough that she's creaming herself in self defensive submission.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Do you have kids?

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Yes.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Punch em in the back. I dont let her wear anything that shows her back anyways.
        Balled up socks in another long sock (prison padlock sock style) also work and dont leave marks

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          This is ironic btw, me and my gf are in a healthy loving relation. She’s just clumsy and trips alot.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      My ex HATED it when I tried to keep things quiet.

      There's a lesson for you young 'un's. Be sure to make some noise.

      . . .

      Anyway, I'm quite surprised I have never heard of a Stanley Fubar being used as a weapon. Even in CQC from Engineer Corps

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        FUBAR is too heavy to be effective as a weapon, homies see your wind up and sidestep you all day

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          But isn't that it's beauty? Every single part of that thing can be used to hurt someone, even little quick moves will do it.

          Or am I thinking too defensively and over relying on stealth a little to?

          Okay, the small Japanese (but I believe stanley took this idea as well) crowbars for putting in floors (But they're brilliant little tools for carpentry and cabinet making, and toolmaking)

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >(charging cable if you want to keep things quiet)
      >Quiet
      Really? I use a telephone cable on my wife now and then, and the way she screams is anything but quiet. I think it might be the weight of the copper inside but that thing cuts like a knife, it's on a completely different level to anything you get with a whip, crop or belt.

      those leaves marks, get one of those gel stress balls in 2 pairs of wool socks

      Leaving marks is part of the fun though.
      Who doesn't like to see some evidence of their handiwork?

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Well that's what gags are for anon. Cables/cords really are remarkable though, even the smaller ones sting like crazy. Even hurts when they're already bruised/numb. Thank God for women who like getting beaten

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          I like hearing her scream. Its fine though, we sunk some money into soundproofing the basement when we built our house so there will be no more awkward interruptions from the police.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous
    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?

      Nothing, you've already told her twice.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        What do you call a woman with one black eye?

        A fast learner.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          What's the difference between a woman and a computer?

          You only have to punch the information into a computer once.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >law enforcement general has entered the chat

  4. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    In a pinch, you can curl your fingers into your palm and use your own hand as an improvised bludgeoning device

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Bullshit. There's no way to impart force through your hand like that without impacting equivalent force to your knuckles
      >Anon wants to break all of his fingies immediately

  5. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Pencil and three yards of braided dental floss makes an effective garrotte.

  6. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I flatline another kid in high-school with a cable type bike lock

    he was semi moronic after, doesn't even remember what happened

  7. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    a can of diethyl ether starting fluid (or even WD-40 or hairspray) and a cigarette lighter is a terrifying mini-flamethrower that can give people second degree burns in seconds

  8. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous
  9. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    The good old rock in a sock is as easy and effective as ever.

  10. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    My best friend got expelled from high school for cracking a dude in the back of the head with a metal fence post. It was very effective.

  11. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    One of cousins once beat the shit out of my other cousin with a frozen rack of beef ribs

  12. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >weapons
    do you really need anything more than your bare hands to beat up a woman?

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      It can be rough on your hands

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        fair enough

  13. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >me reading this weapons thread

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      How many safety regulations does the lift in the video break?

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Well, the guys lifting with his back instead of his legs, so OSHA's pissed anyway.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >How many safety regulations does the lift in the video break?
        finally a weapon to surpass metal gear

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          If you add a shield around the feed it'd be perfect

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        It looks like it's triggered by the weight of the cage on it, so it's most likely hydraulic. The cage hasa ring on the top, so an engine crane can easily extract it in the event the lift fails.
        I'm sure it breaks some regulations but it's very manageable from a safety perspective

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        at this point the woman will suffocate in less than an hour.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Horrible carpet

  14. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    You could always use a gun.

  15. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Improvised weapons ?

  16. 3 weeks ago
    TSAR john from texas oblast

    i use my dick as a weapon

  17. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Almost everything is a bludgeon, dagger or garrote if you're creative enough.

  18. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    A bag of oranges and writing Bible verses.
    Also, those long, thin glow sticks that you get in packs of 3 from the dollar store.

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