come in...
come in...
this is massachusetts oblast reporting in.
russian activity is nominal.
the frontiers seem stable.
all quite here on the eastern front.
all other oblasts state your status.
status report
come in...
come in...
this is massachusetts oblast reporting in.
russian activity is nominal.
the frontiers seem stable.
all quite here on the eastern front.
all other oblasts state your status.
Mass this is stock photo coming in over.
Do you see torpedo boats?
nope just fishing and recreational boats
This is Kamchatka, we are under attack by Japanese torpedo boats
kamchatka oblast were diverting an armed cessna-172 gun ship for support
...over
Tennessee oblast reporting, somebody fish my binoculars out of the water as they float past and open fire on the Kamchatka.
Washington oblast, they're fricking everywhere. You're on your own. Godspeed.
The chair is against the wall and John has a long mustache
which oblast is this.
report in are you under attack?
...over
The Pig is doing a Jig, I repeat the Pig is doing a Jig. We have a Babe situation, over
which oblast is this?
Hampshire Oblast, please we are getting overrun, upgrading to Animal Farm, I repeat Animal Farm, over!!!
hampshire oblast
this is massachusetts oblast
were sending 3 regiments and 5 tank battalions and 6 203mm SPG
expect the train load in 3-4 days
...over
This is the Washington oblast
Get me the frick out of here, take me back to the donbass front, if I have to see one more fricking pride parade
Over
dont worry tennesse oblast were mounting a counter offensive south to take some heat off your front
This is Rio de Janeiro oblast.
Nothing unusual around here, bandits and druglords everywhere but no Russians.
We're having sopa de macaco for dinner today, if you guys want a bowl just come over here, over.
Rio de Janeiro oblast.
good to hear
...over
allo this is California oblast
bad status
everything is on fire
repeat
everything is on fire
terrorist insurgents are opening fire on us, but in small bursts of 10 rounds, so they are not big threat
we try to subjugate rainbow color revolution parades here "kazakh style" but now phallus is also on fire for 60% of combat force
but cyka blyat there is smoke everywhere and it is very hot ~~*
tacos for dinner very very good, we are become friends with mexican comrades
over
we'll send in the 505th hillbilly militia for support
...over
I love that I can recognize this as Deadliest Warrior: Taliban vs IRA
This is Utah Oblast.
Ukrainians are invading via amphibious assault!
oh no we're sending you 10 crates of mg-42's
...over
best carolina oblast
enemy continues ingress from blue states
they appear to have not only failed to thin the russian ranks, but increased them
god damn commies everywhere
the horse trots. I repeat, the horse trots
Copy Massachusetts Oblast.
This is Austin Autonomous Oblast reporting. Situation is desperate. Bugmen are over running all core sectors via mass ariel swarms, pushing us to the frontiers of Oblast. They are evolving. They have begun erecting +200 meter tall hives in former capitol district. We can not hold out for much longer, requesting S-400 support ASAP. Our supplies of ammunition and nicotine are also dangerously low.
Over.
KSGQueen reporting in
Cascadian Foothills reporting. Enemy convoy has been neutralized. Switchbacks are a b***h and armor doesn’t stop landslides.
Texas oblast reporting.
Austin is lost, but the Mexicans are turning on their DNC masters. It's a wild ride.
copy that Massachusetts Oblast
this is Oregonsky Oblast, Portland sector
Situation stable
OPFOR offensive codenamed "Deadliest Sin" has been ground to a halt
Blue forces have established a defensive line along the Willamette, but have suffered heavy losses
request reinforcements to prepare an immediate counteroffensive, over
Massachusetts Oblast,
Virginia Oblast.
Bugmen overruning the North
Infestations in the Southeast reported
Cannot, repeat, cannot hold
Will fall back to Appalachian Oblast and link up with 103rd Pickup Hillbillies break
Request immediate resupply on the I-81 how copy over?
This is Chicago oblast reporting
Everything is still as bad as it's always been and I've lost 15 men in the last 20 minutes to isolated gang incidents
Requesting reinforcements, over
Florida oblast here, we have been forced to sustain ourselves solely off of Cuban food for three days straight, over. Toilet paper situation critical, send hell immediately.
OhiOblast checking in. The local street corner was raided by a small platoon-sized element of loud women with big signs last week. Crude hand gestures and negative auditory reinforcement were applied with discretion, enemy seems to have dispersed for the time being, over.
Kentucky Oblast reporting in, Appalachistani Rebels have looted every Cabellas innastate, the hills are lost but the plains are holding fine.