>solves the zombie apocalypse

>solves the zombie apocalypse

250 Piece Survival Gear First Aid Kit

LifeStraw Water Filter for Hiking and Preparedness

250 Piece Survival Gear First Aid Kit

  1. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >those babymaking hips
    zombies might just start humping you if you wear that

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      You don't even need to go that far, human jaws aren't very tough
      >leather/denim jacket
      >gloves
      >jeans
      >workboots
      >scarf or neckguard
      >helmet
      GG you won
      >b-buh what if you get mobbed
      You're fricked no matter what then, but at least this getup doesn't take 10+ minutes and an assistant to put on or take off, and you can move quietly while wearing it

      armoured women sexo

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        this, as bad as World War Z sucked, using magazines and tape as bite sleeve would work great and only take seconds to apply.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          I think like one guy in TWD also made duct tape armor but nobody else ever did for some reason.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      you're obese

  2. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >Haven't had a zombie flick where knights with swords just cleave zombies apart for 2 hours
    I guess Evil Dead might count? Otherwise, weird.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      There's not a lot of mid-level budget zombie movies that could do that. There's a shit ton of low budget zombie trash and a few big budget trash, but a studio lending money for a zombie movie like that is unlikely and indie people can't afford it. Also George A. Romero's trilogy and Return of the Living Dead are the only good zombie movies.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        They made pride and prejudice with zombies why not some medieval version

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          What kino saar

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            "Pride + Prejudice + Zombies"

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      check out Kingdom. It's about the only 'medieval'-type zombie story you're gonna get

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Great series followed by a great prequel movie
        Weird fricking release tho

  3. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    there was a quote of a king to his defeated armored general which went something like 'with adequate food you'd withstood a seige'

  4. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Zombies wouldn't even win in the Bronze Age

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      new witcher armor be crazy

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >no forearm protection
      >in a zombie apocalypse

      kwab

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >HECTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      tusk helmets kick ass

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >not
      >even
      >any
      >fricking
      >SANDALS

  5. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    you dont need all that shit
    a fricking leather jacket would solve the problem

  6. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Human teeth are made for chewing gathered food, not biting living prey. No zombie movie has ever addressed how dead people have stronger jaws and sharper teeth than a living person. The only cinema zombies that can defy this logic are demonic source zombies and "zombies" that can still use tools. Where's accurate zombie kino in 2024? I ask Hollywood to do better.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >muh soience
      nerd

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Logic is what has killed film

        Do. *black fist* Better. *black fist*

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Logic is what has killed film

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      moron strength, no inhibition. This only works for fresh zombies though, that haven't lost muscle density due to rotting.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      idk if you talk to people who encounter the impaired and the insane on a regular basis like cops, nurses, and such, then you'd be surprised. I've heard of a nurse who got a chunk bitten out of her arm while trying to give sugar to a diabetic guy whose glucose levels had dropped too low.
      Like anon said above me, moron strength is real.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        diabetics confirmed morons

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous
    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Maybe you with your recessed chin, underdeveloped jaw, and narrow palate cant, but I could easily do some damage with a bite

  7. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Zombies are the shittiest antagonist in all of fiction. They're just slower, dumber version of normal people. They're only ever a threat if there are large numbers of them and the protagonists are unarmed.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I think of them as slow pitbull humans

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Yeah, pitbulls wouldn't be dangerous if you could escape them by walking at a slightly brisk pace.

  8. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    The entire idea and scary factor of zombies is that they are unexpected, surprise everyone leaving no time to prepare, and no one knows how to counter this seemingly impossible event. Yes, if everyone knew what a zombie was, knew exactly how to defeat them, had huge stockpiles of supplies/food/water, and had a set of plate armor and weapons for every person, then the zombies would be defeated easily. You're right.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      A dozer or a snowplough and it's all over for any kind of zombie horde

  9. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >US military solves the zombie apocalypse
    Just a reminder that there are over 300million civilian guns in the US alone. The US military keeps a stockpile of billions of small arms rounds and 500million artillery shells and hundreds of millions of bombs. The idea they can't handle a zombie outbreak is fricking moronic.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >Just a reminder that there are over 300million civilian guns in the US alone.
      Just a reminder that the americans have done frick all with those guns while the zog government runs a train on them.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        we're talking about fictional zombie scenarios, if you could leave to /misc/ bullshit in your scattered thoughts that'd be great.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        If even the threat of force doesn't ensure rights why is the US the only developed country with the right to arm yourself?

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          What the frick do they teach you morons in school? There are plenty of countries which allow you to own a gun.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >There are plenty of countries
            Yeah, you can own a gun in mexico but you have to have a written approval and there is only one gun store located on a military base. And then every other nation like UK and Australia where you have outright handgun bans and strict control on shotguns and rifles.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Own a firearm as a constitutionally protected right? With few arbitrary restrictions? Don't even bother bringing up Switzerland or Israel. The state owns your service rifle.
            >umm in my country you can get a bolt action .22 after a 3 year waiting period and background check and you can only use it on approved ranges
            Lmao cool, homosexual

            • 3 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              >There are plenty of countries
              Yeah, you can own a gun in mexico but you have to have a written approval and there is only one gun store located on a military base. And then every other nation like UK and Australia where you have outright handgun bans and strict control on shotguns and rifles.

              >muh constitutional right

              Who cares? You do nothing with it. The liberals are shitting in your mouths while you're just impotently waving your guns around.

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                You still haven't told me the "plenty of countries" that have gun ownership as an enshrined right

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                As soon as you tell me what the point of that right is if you never use it.

                >You must forcibly attack your political opponents.
                You are literally moronic.

                Lol you are the ones under attack, you dumb, fat homosexual. You are being ethnically replaced, homosexualry is being pushed on you and your kids, DEI etc. It's unironically over.

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                stay in /misc/ moron.

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                >As soon as you tell me what the point of that right is if you never use it.
                Well your country gave that right up I assume. Which one is it? How did that turn out? You may be able to answer your own question...

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                Why are Ivans getting this angry? Not enough asians replacing their loses and not enough secret police staff to arrest all the anti-semites?

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                They're mad at their endless state of quasi-serfdom so they just bide their time until their inevitable draft notice, chechen ass rape, and grueling death that's streamed by millions of cheering Redditors.

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                >You must forcibly attack your political opponents.
                You are literally moronic.

            • 3 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              A medieval zombie film could work, but castles and shit were built to keep people out and populations were pretty small, along with people being a lot hardier and used to fighting.

              I'm in the UK and our gun laws are shit. But I still have several shotguns and hundreds of cartridges in the house

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Depends on the outbreak. Something supernatural like in Dawn of the Dead will frick the world.

  10. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    doesn't protect you from being overwhelmed

  11. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    What the FRICK is up with those toes tho? How do you walk?

  12. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    A dogpile or crowd press still kills a knight, and probably most unarmoured people as well. Zombies being uncoordinated shamblers means that their strikes and scratches won't be very lethal anyway

  13. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >gets mobbed
    >dies of thirst because you can't throw 100 bodies off you at once

  14. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Zombies?

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      He’s a big guy

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        For you

        stay in /misc/ moron.

        Do you feel in charge?

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Zom 100 got this

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        this show was really underrated

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Yeah I've been watching it on Toonami they just showed this episode.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          The production problems along with the second half being kind of shitty story wise killed it.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            shame really I watched it after it aired and loved it,
            great art, animations and the story was fun
            I really hope the studio survives this

  15. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >the news says it's finally happening
    >look out window; yep zombies
    >it's time
    >squeeze into my sharksuit
    >load my speargun
    >waddle around back and climb onto my roof
    >nothin' personal

  16. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >solves the zombie apocalypse

    Slow zombies are literally no threat at all, you can easily kill them or just walk away of there are too many.

  17. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Zombie apocalypse would solve itself in lest then a month. All those rotting zombie corpses would immediately decompose under the hot sun.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      you assume that the zombies are some gay virus shit and not supernatural monsters

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Zombies make no scientific sense in most media like The Walking Dead. You need working organs and metabolic system to function. If you don't have any pumping blood giving oxygen to your cells then you wouldn't be able to move. Even then the rule of "destroying the brain" as if the brain could survive without oxygen. Or you could just wait until winter when all their cells would freeze destroying them.

      The only way it makes sense is if it's supernatural or some kind of "rage virus". In case of the rage virus most of them would die of dehydration since they never really eat anything or drink water.

  18. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    You'd just have 30 zombies wriggling on top of you trying to open you

  19. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Dead Rising did zombies right
    >during day slow and moronic
    >during night fast and scary

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      why would they become different at night?

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Well, I only know for the first game but, the virus is caused by hornets, and each zombie bite passes on a larva, hence why when you find a queen and kill her all the zombies die and there are maggots on the ground. The hornets however are nocturnal, and more than likely are more active, thus aggravating the brain of the infected, increasing their aggression.

  20. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Anons, if a zombie outbreak happened tonight, is your cardio and strength up to snuff? Would you be capable of running just a few miles? Walking with a heavy pack a few more miles? How about jumping onto something tall and pulling yourself up to safety?

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I'll assume that's a no. Get on it, PrepHole!

  21. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >loud ass clanking attracts everything to you
    >get rapidly exhausted in your full armor
    >taken down to ground by horde of zombies
    >eventually they get part of your armor off and eat your face or fingers
    >or you just die of dehydration while under a pile of zombies

    What would be interesting is a story leveraging how medieval fortresses are designed withstand a siege. They figure they'll wait out the mysterious force only to realize that it is unnatural and endless, ultimately forcing them to abandon it. Then you get a shield wall formation trying to carve through a zombie horde or full plate knights doing their best to stay upright while creating a distraction so that others can escape.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Full armor is not exhausting and it'd obviously be used by an organization capable of making it then putting it to use in a strategy to effectively kill of large numbers of zombies. They could easily put rubber or cloth under the segments to minimize noise. There's no reason whatsoever to assume they would be out alone in the armor. It would be a group, using long spiked weapons, and defensive fortifications to switch out teammates as they tire. Same thing the Romans used to do.

  22. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Watch football.
    Tell me about how you in heavy armor can push of a dozen bodies clinging onto you when an athlete in spandex falls to a couple of homosexuals also in spandex.
    Armor cannot help you, especially you weak losers who have never done a single push up in his entire life.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >a dozen bodies
      250lbs men in peak physical condition, no a bunch of rotting corpses that can barely walk.

  23. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Romero zombies, as seen in the original NotLD, would be finished off in a weekend by hobby shooters and kids. You don't need any of that armor. Sprinting "zombies" infected would rip that shit to shreds.

  24. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    For me? It is the frog helmet.

  25. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    depending on weather you can get fricked by moderate heat or cold; also your stamina eventually run off, zombies' does not

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