>nukes
no such thing. it's obvious nuclear weapons don't actually exist. as soon as generations were born that know how to critically think, they magically all agreed to stop testing them. imagine believing in nukes lmao. it's obviously a psyop clandestinely done by the two remaining superpowers post germany to try to keep both of their states from engaging in an obviously destructive third world war so close to the second one.
>10 years from now >Congress still deadlocked about whatever latest stupid bill >Whatever President, likely a Dem is making some speech about climate change. >Everyone looks up in the sky as some slow moving shiny balloon slowly starts to float down from upon high.
All of NATOs top ranks are collapsed on the floor laughing. several who were drinking coffee when the news hit about the new 'advanced Russian weapon' and the laughter began suffered serious ejaculation of coffee via the nose and are curled up still, laughing but in some discomfort. Rumours that Putin was going to make a zoom call and demand a million dollars or he would fire it at fort knox resulted in a barrage of prank phone calls to teh Russian ministry of defense asking if Putin would consider a shark with a laser on its head in exchange for complete withdrawal from Ukraine and nuclear disarmament
Man, I should have done something like that in my youth instead of blowing up firecrackers/downsized pipe bombs in a gravel pit. The sound was amazing tho.
I'm so scared and demoralized that I'm calling my MP right now to stop supporting Ukraine, rollback NATO to pre-1997 borders, dismantle all NATO armies and immediately ban the pineapple pizza.
>Pineapple pizza is the worst thing in existence though
That goes without saying. I said it's pandering, never denied it is an abomination and an insult to god and mankind.
Well you'd best get, cos I ain't moving anywhere.
I am quite happy to fight on Pineapple Hill, conduct a fighting retreat along Goat Cheese Plain and die in the Prawn Trenches if needs be.
My name Duncan from Idaho oblast and this scare me greatly
we pigdog american should not meddle with mighty russian bear, which is very powerful and also has best nukes
Britbong here from Manchester oblast. We should not continue to poke the bear. We must let Russia continue their Special Military Desperation. Otherwise they will raise eyebrow and everbody will understand.
Britbong here from Manchester oblast. We should not continue to poke the bear. We must let Russia continue their Special Military Desperation. Otherwise they will raise eyebrow and everbody will understand.
>RT news >Wect is terrified of russia just check these posts xaxa >in other news New Lada with 3 wheels
>I'm not sure the world is ready for the Reliant Lada.
It would have worked if it were not for the rust! A proletarian vehicle for a proletarian world!
Hi Billy Mays from New York oblast here, with a great new product for you: ZigAway. Do you have ziggers and streetshitters shilling on your imageboard, ruining your vibes? Is the comfy factor of your favorite board getting wrecked faster than an IL-76 getting struck by a explosive Amazon box? Simply spray ZigAway on shitposts that annoy you and watch the vatniks and pajeets melt to death in real time. Call now, and we'll throw in a second bottle of ZigAway for free.
Hello I am Hans from Berlin Raion
Seeing this nuclear weapon reminds me of when we lost the Great War against resourceful Russians.
Please NATO don't fund Ukrainians, they are fake country
I remember that thing. That was what they "tested" during Bidens surprise visit to Kyiv last year.
The test was somewhat successful as it demonstrated an important safety feature which leads to the rapid disassembly directly after leaving the launch bunker.
Somehow the videos of this test made it to the public in a few hours (maybe days). If anyone posts the video(s) we could have a laugh together.
Naw buddy, that ain't it. If I have to explain why liquid fuels rockets, especially in Russia, is retard shit for nuclear missiles, than you need to go back to 4chan.
I wonder if they really let Hydrazine and Nitrous Tetroxizide just sitting there in tanks because the corrosion risk is serious. If I get an order to launch it I am not fucking doing it, knowing that one engine or even the silo door could fail and the whole thing will look like putting an unopened can in a microwave.
Tucker is not what I'm "fighting" to defend, but the problem is what's enforced for them is enforced on me by governments who don't like how I think in the future.
>governments who don't like how I think in the future.
Governments not only read my thoughts but read my thoughts in the future, and they don't like what they see.
[...]
They're a pain in the fucking ass, but if we adopt authoritarian tactics to defeat authoritarians, we have betrayed what we are fighting to defend.
>To be honest Russia and China makes me jealous sometimes that we can't just jail these grifters on vague grounds like "disinformation"
Only the state's misinformation is permitted
[...]
They're a pain in the fucking ass, but if we adopt authoritarian tactics to defeat authoritarians, we have betrayed what we are fighting to defend.
these kinds of methods simply open the gates for home grown authoritarians to jail their political enemies. The elephant-donkey uniparty is already borderline flirting with that. Fifth columnists like Cucker sprouting shit in the air is the safer option then facilitating the tools of dictatorships
As always with Russia there are 3 possibilities: >it works but they can only afford 3 >it doesn't work but they can afford 3000 >it doesn't work but they can only afford 3 (Dacha bonus)
>Fails test this year by spontaneously disintegrating >No subsequent tests were announced or major design changes are made >They press them into service anyways
Their space program is considered to be their most competent department, and they failed their lunar mission. What are the chances they wouldn’t even work in a nuclear war and Russia would be atomized without a response?
>Launch n00k at Kiev (fuk yu, I'm not spelling it Kyiv) >Primary neutron pistol fizzles >Shitfuckton of radioactive material dumped dirty-bomb style all over the city >Pretend that was the initial plan all along
Let's face it, it's going to go down like this, if at all.
The thing about secret weapons is that you don't talk about secret weapons, you just use them and let the world be stunned by their effectiveness. >Russia talking about Secret Weapon
They've got a cardbord box with the words "Advanced Nuclear Missile" written on it.
...which will stay mission-ready until Ivan figures out how to turn the fuel into vodka
...after his section leader sells the new giga-secret guidance system to Isreal
...after the factories in Ukraine are put back online some time in the next 30 years?
>wasn't it one of those who failed during their saber-rattling nuke test a year ago?
yes but...maybe Russia is just feigning weakness and incompetency and corruption and failure waiting for the moment to strike.Pic related
Is it working now? Iirc it had one successful test and the second test failed. Sarmat is interesting because it’s the first fractional-orbit ballistic missile in active service. The concept was considered back in the 60s-70s but it wasn’t considered a positive trade-off for various reasons at the time so nobody pursued it.
reminder that russians had patriotic song about how cool ther new rocket is and how nato is very scared of it.
I once watched a documentary about how most of what Russia does and most of what it's military does is intended for Domestic consumption and for show. It's like a Potemkin country. Everyone but the oligarchs is poor so they are all stuck playing make believe and everyone is like an actor performing for an empty auditorium and after the play all the actors congratulate each other on how well they acted. Truly a bizarre country from an outsiders perspective.
>OP: >Russia just put the world's most advanced nuclear missile into military service >headline in pic doesn't specify "most advanced" >headline doesn't even allege it's "advanced" >headline states it's "nuclear-CAPABLE"
This is gonna blow OP's mind, but the threshold for a "nuclear-capable" delivery device is WWII propeller aircraft, rivets and all.
Yet our most esteemed, our most intelligent are pretending Russia has capability to launch 2nd strike? Is this solely because so many of them happen to be of tribe? Take the king and queen of Real Politik: Kissinger & Mearsheimer painfully obvious Israel firsters.
>Have you seen Russia deliver on the things they have trained post-cold war?
Anon, at this point I'm questioning if the Russians actually trained for anything at all post-Cold War. All that Soviet noise about "making a science of war", the nomograms, the official doctrine that takes up more pages than the Encyclopedia Britannica, and this is it? >WTF can they do?
Based on the evidence, not that much. As an invader, just a few hundred km from their own land border on flat terrain, they're on their back heels behind trenches and mines trying to avoid another blowout.
ahahahhahaqh, if i see a russian refugee at night i'm going to brick him when no one is watching. >inb4 they are fleeing
i hate you all, innocent or not.
>Nuclear-Capable
And here I was we finally got passed the point of using that word for big headlines, after Russia ran out of new systems to introduce.
In the Russian arsenal "nuclear-capable" is a synonym for "literally fucking anything"
bet
I'm terrified and demoralized.
Id be that as well if i lived anywhere close to the launch and subsequent failure point of said weapon
>Russian nukes
No such thing.
it doesn't say nuke, it says nuke-capable. If anyone ever gives Russia a working nuke, we're boned
ahh the ol' "HD Ready" trick.
Retard
Russian gay. Russians are too retard to have working nooks.
>nukes
no such thing. it's obvious nuclear weapons don't actually exist. as soon as generations were born that know how to critically think, they magically all agreed to stop testing them. imagine believing in nukes lmao. it's obviously a psyop clandestinely done by the two remaining superpowers post germany to try to keep both of their states from engaging in an obviously destructive third world war so close to the second one.
They exist but the russian ones don't work anymore
Isn't this the same missile that exploded while Biden was in Ukraine?
>world's most advanced nuclear missile
Pajeet, plz
How long until it gets cardboarded?
ETA to Washington - two weeks
How long do we have left until it takes out the Biden Crime Family and saves us all from Globohomo?
with that speed... i dunno, like 10 years maybe?
>10 years from now
>Congress still deadlocked about whatever latest stupid bill
>Whatever President, likely a Dem is making some speech about climate change.
>Everyone looks up in the sky as some slow moving shiny balloon slowly starts to float down from upon high.
oh shit oh fuck
It is of over for the west ;_;
We surrender
That looks fun
NATO has been really quiet after this one dropped...
All of NATOs top ranks are collapsed on the floor laughing. several who were drinking coffee when the news hit about the new 'advanced Russian weapon' and the laughter began suffered serious ejaculation of coffee via the nose and are curled up still, laughing but in some discomfort. Rumours that Putin was going to make a zoom call and demand a million dollars or he would fire it at fort knox resulted in a barrage of prank phone calls to teh Russian ministry of defense asking if Putin would consider a shark with a laser on its head in exchange for complete withdrawal from Ukraine and nuclear disarmament
Haven’t seen picrel in years, fuggin saved
What's Russia's problem?
russians
Putin Zama I kneeeel
Man, I should have done something like that in my youth instead of blowing up firecrackers/downsized pipe bombs in a gravel pit. The sound was amazing tho.
it's so completely over for us, there are Sarmat TEL vehicles dispersed in the car parks of every single Russian commieblock
i was waiting for it to fall back on the street
do it, gay
I'm so scared and demoralized that I'm calling my MP right now to stop supporting Ukraine, rollback NATO to pre-1997 borders, dismantle all NATO armies and immediately ban the pineapple pizza.
Go ahead pidor, make my day!
gay, please don't embarrass us with this shit again.
Seethe, vatnik
>ban the pineapple pizza.
Look how subtly they pander to Italians now that Meloni turned out to be atlanticist.
Pineapple pizza is the worst thing in existence though. I'd hang out with furries before I hung out with someone that liked a hawaiian pizza.
>Pineapple pizza is the worst thing in existence though
That goes without saying. I said it's pandering, never denied it is an abomination and an insult to god and mankind.
fags
Savage.
sweet and savory foods are good, but HAWAIIAN PIZZA IS NOT A GOOD SWEET AND SAVORY FOOD, FUCK YOU
Pretending to hate Hawaiian pizza is reddit-tier
Grilled pineapple is good. If the flavor profile works with the bread, cheese and other toppings it's really not that egregious.
Well you'd best get, cos I ain't moving anywhere.
I am quite happy to fight on Pineapple Hill, conduct a fighting retreat along Goat Cheese Plain and die in the Prawn Trenches if needs be.
once i worked in an office full of women
friday was pizza day
Pineapple pizza
glazed honey pizza
chicken pizza
veggie pizza
never imagined
are the gloves off yet?
My name Duncan from Idaho oblast and this scare me greatly
we pigdog american should not meddle with mighty russian bear, which is very powerful and also has best nukes
Britbong here from Manchester oblast. We should not continue to poke the bear. We must let Russia continue their Special Military Desperation. Otherwise they will raise eyebrow and everbody will understand.
>RT news
>Wect is terrified of russia just check these posts xaxa
>in other news New Lada with 3 wheels
I'm not sure the world is ready for the Reliant Lada.
>I'm not sure the world is ready for the Reliant Lada.
It would have worked if it were not for the rust! A proletarian vehicle for a proletarian world!
>Duncan from Idaho oblast
kek
Hello newfriend
>joke can't be funny if you've seen it more than once
>he doesn't know
I'm sorry you're subhuman
Hi Billy Mays from New York oblast here, with a great new product for you: ZigAway. Do you have ziggers and streetshitters shilling on your imageboard, ruining your vibes? Is the comfy factor of your favorite board getting wrecked faster than an IL-76 getting struck by a explosive Amazon box? Simply spray ZigAway on shitposts that annoy you and watch the vatniks and pajeets melt to death in real time. Call now, and we'll throw in a second bottle of ZigAway for free.
place your bets on what will go wrong.
I bet something will go wrong during a fast decent dive test
NATO Johnny here. I say we leave *kraine be. Mighty Russia has got us by the eggs. Better cut our losses before we all die
Hello I am Hans from Berlin Raion
Seeing this nuclear weapon reminds me of when we lost the Great War against resourceful Russians.
Please NATO don't fund Ukrainians, they are fake country
I remember that thing. That was what they "tested" during Bidens surprise visit to Kyiv last year.
The test was somewhat successful as it demonstrated an important safety feature which leads to the rapid disassembly directly after leaving the launch bunker.
Somehow the videos of this test made it to the public in a few hours (maybe days). If anyone posts the video(s) we could have a laugh together.
Hello, I am peter of New York. I am very scare of this news. We must stop aid to the ukraine immediately.
>RT news: Wect is piccing themselves
>Other news: Putin penis causes earthquake in Tula
I am J Jonah also from New York Oblast. We shouldn’t be wasting tax dollars on Ukraine while the wall crawling menace roams free.
Spidor man? Blyat...
I, Norman Osbourne of New Yorke Oblast also support solidarity with our russian consociates to end the friendly neighborhood menace
>Liquid fueled ICBM in 2023
>Advanced
Naw buddy, that ain't it. If I have to explain why liquid fuels rockets, especially in Russia, is retard shit for nuclear missiles, than you need to go back to 4chan.
I wonder if they really let Hydrazine and Nitrous Tetroxizide just sitting there in tanks because the corrosion risk is serious. If I get an order to launch it I am not fucking doing it, knowing that one engine or even the silo door could fail and the whole thing will look like putting an unopened can in a microwave.
>liquid fuel rockets
What else are they going to drink then?
It doesn't say "monopropellant", though, maybe they actually have a properly set up liquid fuel system? (unlikely)
Hello Pidor of new york
To correct myself:
I now see the orange smoke coming from the rocket. Yup, that's Hydrazine!
Must smell delightful when it launches
>world's most advanced
ziggoids army was the most advanced in the world before some events
This is the one that blew up the last time they tested it, right?janhsr
Are they implying that it wasn't on combat duty? I'm lost in their missile names. Is that the one w very long range?
send it straight to my location
Cool, Putin should do a squat over the silo opening as it launches
half of the posts
>RUSSIA HAS NO NUKES
the other half
>some pineapple WMD pizza
i love the experts of PrepHole
Dew it, cowards.
They're a pain in the fucking ass, but if we adopt authoritarian tactics to defeat authoritarians, we have betrayed what we are fighting to defend.
Tucker is not what I'm "fighting" to defend, but the problem is what's enforced for them is enforced on me by governments who don't like how I think in the future.
>governments who don't like how I think in the future.
Governments not only read my thoughts but read my thoughts in the future, and they don't like what they see.
In Russia and China, Tucker would be a direct employee of the state.
>intercontinental missle
>between continents
No good on the same continent, muchless next door. It will over shoot. Laughably, missing anyway.
Just explode them, lol
>To be honest Russia and China makes me jealous sometimes that we can't just jail these grifters on vague grounds like "disinformation"
Only the state's misinformation is permitted
these kinds of methods simply open the gates for home grown authoritarians to jail their political enemies. The elephant-donkey uniparty is already borderline flirting with that. Fifth columnists like Cucker sprouting shit in the air is the safer option then facilitating the tools of dictatorships
As always with Russia there are 3 possibilities:
>it works but they can only afford 3
>it doesn't work but they can afford 3000
>it doesn't work but they can only afford 3 (Dacha bonus)
Ah yes, the one that exploded during Biden's visit, correct?
>Fails test this year by spontaneously disintegrating
>No subsequent tests were announced or major design changes are made
>They press them into service anyways
Their space program is considered to be their most competent department, and they failed their lunar mission. What are the chances they wouldn’t even work in a nuclear war and Russia would be atomized without a response?
to be fair, if they can crash a rocket on the moon they can probably get a nuclear warhead to detonate over ukraine
>Launch n00k at Kiev (fuk yu, I'm not spelling it Kyiv)
>Primary neutron pistol fizzles
>Shitfuckton of radioactive material dumped dirty-bomb style all over the city
>Pretend that was the initial plan all along
Let's face it, it's going to go down like this, if at all.
That's if the guidance systems are even reprogrammable, or if that's lostech too.
Nah mate.
It'll be a fizzle and some of their nuclear weapons generals will mysteriously die two weeks later.
>Zigeria
>advanced
>liquid fueled anything
You’re gonna have to bait harder than that
How is this any different to their previous missiles that they """put on high alert""?
I'll tell you: it's not.
The thing about secret weapons is that you don't talk about secret weapons, you just use them and let the world be stunned by their effectiveness.
>Russia talking about Secret Weapon
They've got a cardbord box with the words "Advanced Nuclear Missile" written on it.
I should of listened when I had the chance.... Now its too late.
>the world's most advanced nuclear missile
>pic unrelated
Sir, I shall invoice you for my sides' deorbiting operation.
What's even the fucking point though?
...which will stay mission-ready until Ivan figures out how to turn the fuel into vodka
...after his section leader sells the new giga-secret guidance system to Isreal
...after the factories in Ukraine are put back online some time in the next 30 years?
wasn't it one of those who failed during their saber-rattling nuke test a year ago?
>wasn't it one of those who failed during their saber-rattling nuke test a year ago?
yes but...maybe Russia is just feigning weakness and incompetency and corruption and failure waiting for the moment to strike.Pic related
I other words they keep relaxing the buttcheeks until *succ* it captures the cock
Would this be the same Sarmat that they failed to fire three times in a row so far to try and prove to us that they still have functional ICBMs?
https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/europe/russia-launch-icbm-biden-visit-b2287018.html
IS IT A WEAPON OF WONDER AS THEY SAY A WUNDERWAFFEN? WELL OP IS IT? IS IT A WUNDERWAFFEN? ARE YOU POSTING ABOUT A RUSSIAN WUNDERWAFFEN OP? ARE YOU?
>Russia just put the world's most advanced
>Russia just put the world's most advanced nuclear missile into military service
>>>
Is it working now? Iirc it had one successful test and the second test failed. Sarmat is interesting because it’s the first fractional-orbit ballistic missile in active service. The concept was considered back in the 60s-70s but it wasn’t considered a positive trade-off for various reasons at the time so nobody pursued it.
reminder that russians had patriotic song about how cool ther new rocket is and how nato is very scared of it.
I once watched a documentary about how most of what Russia does and most of what it's military does is intended for Domestic consumption and for show. It's like a Potemkin country. Everyone but the oligarchs is poor so they are all stuck playing make believe and everyone is like an actor performing for an empty auditorium and after the play all the actors congratulate each other on how well they acted. Truly a bizarre country from an outsiders perspective.
>OP:
>Russia just put the world's most advanced nuclear missile into military service
>headline in pic doesn't specify "most advanced"
>headline doesn't even allege it's "advanced"
>headline states it's "nuclear-CAPABLE"
This is gonna blow OP's mind, but the threshold for a "nuclear-capable" delivery device is WWII propeller aircraft, rivets and all.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Emperor%27s_New_Clothes
Have you seen Russia deliver on the things they have trained post-cold war? Combined arms is a nope, SEAD is a nope. WTF can they do?
>WTF can they do?
Hire a bunch of Pajeets to shitpost on PrepHole?
Yet our most esteemed, our most intelligent are pretending Russia has capability to launch 2nd strike? Is this solely because so many of them happen to be of tribe? Take the king and queen of Real Politik: Kissinger & Mearsheimer painfully obvious Israel firsters.
>Have you seen Russia deliver on the things they have trained post-cold war?
Anon, at this point I'm questioning if the Russians actually trained for anything at all post-Cold War. All that Soviet noise about "making a science of war", the nomograms, the official doctrine that takes up more pages than the Encyclopedia Britannica, and this is it?
>WTF can they do?
Based on the evidence, not that much. As an invader, just a few hundred km from their own land border on flat terrain, they're on their back heels behind trenches and mines trying to avoid another blowout.
They don't have working icbms or nukes. What is this crap. They dont even have gps for their planes they bought off the shelf crap
Why the fuck would you think they working nuclear weapons and even as sillier working icmbs.
>Russia
>world's most advanced
how do I know this is a lie?
Russia hasn't deployed any of it's advanced munitions or AD assets because it's ok to see cardboard drones hitting An-26's
This is so fucking dumb, not even a russian can say this in their TV with straight face.
This is why America needs to revive SDI. It's important to show that Putin's nuclear blackmail won't succeed.
Is it unstoppable like the Kinzhal wa- I mean is?
ahahahhahaqh, if i see a russian refugee at night i'm going to brick him when no one is watching.
>inb4 they are fleeing
i hate you all, innocent or not.
>Nuclear-Capable
And here I was we finally got passed the point of using that word for big headlines, after Russia ran out of new systems to introduce.
In the Russian arsenal "nuclear-capable" is a synonym for "literally fucking anything"
I didn't know Russia had W76-2s.