Pick your class:. For me, it's retarius

Pick your class:
For me, it's retarius

  1. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Thraex or nothing, Retiarii were the most despised class of gladiator and were viewed as effeminate due to their lack of armour

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >Effeminate due to their lack of armor
      Really?

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        No

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >most despised class of gladiator
      probably because they're the only ones out of OP's pic that can actually see anything

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Literally the opposite was true, imagine making shit up like this thinking no one can just look it up

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        I've read a similar thing, that the way a retiarius fought was seen as cowardly because he relied more on keeping his distance and inflicting small wounds to bleed out the opponent

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          He was also bare chested and bare faced which made him a more friendly face in the Arena and they were usually the heart throbs of the Roman women who frequented the fights. Retiarus were always pitted in fights where they were at a disadvantage making them more heroic too

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Dipshit detected, Retarius were the most popular, as everyone could see their face.

  2. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    spectator

  3. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    More like retardius.

  4. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    hoplomachus
    spear>everything else
    swordfags need not reply
    also >a fucking net

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Spears get fucking mogged by nets

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >can't greentext
      reddit's that way, moron

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Back to plebbit you go, gay.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      One handed spear and shield is difficult to use well against sword and shield, it is much easier to lose control of a spear than it is a sword, especially a short one like these. Two handed spears and especially polearms are a different story.

  5. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Myrmillo, precisely so I can dab on effete, womanly retiarii like OP.

  6. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Provocator, and everytime I close I say something nasty about the mum of my contrary.

  7. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    PARMVLARII is the best

  8. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    90% of PrepHole would only qualify for noxii

  9. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Mvrmillo
    I prefer to be last so that I can learn from others' mistakes.

  10. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Patrician. I will be out in the stands, eating grapes, watching you fight, throwing back some wine and opium and getting amped up for the orgy tonight. By boy Vespasian has 30 different qt 3.14 slaves coming over, Persians, Illyrian, Egyptians, Gauls, Germans, and some from here in Rome; enough for us each to have two or three, plus we can switch off.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Disgusting. You fucking Patricians haven't actually took part in the defense of Rome since we defeated Carthage. All you do is suck up all the money and spend it on degeneracy: drink, gambling, actors, women, and Greek boys.

      I hope you die next time the Plebians riot, which should be any day now since I heard the grain shipment for the dole sank.

      T. Equestrian and Tribune in Legio XII, the Thunderbolt Twelve, striking like Jupiter!

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        HEHE YERP, PATRICIANS THESE DAYS DON'T KNOW ANYTHING LOL!!

        ---------------------------
        BILLIUS "MAD HOVND" HITCHCOCKUS
        VELITES '21 - '19
        I CARRY A PILUM BECAUSE THEY DONT MAKE A PILLUM
        JESUS "MUHAMMAD" CHRIST

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >MAD HOVND

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I hear some of them will even be female this time.

  11. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Yep you certainly are retardius.

  12. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Hoplomachus
    Also are there any real loadout differences between the various scutarii?

  13. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Person with the biggest pointy stick always wins 1v1. So I'll go with the Hoplomachus

  14. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Murmillo, secutor and provocator are exactly the same, just with different helmets!?!? Are Romans fucking with us?

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Myrmillo is the Ryu of the roster, with Secutor as the Ken.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >Myrmillo is the Ryu of the roster, with Secutor as the Ken.
        kek

  15. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Where is the Crupellarius?

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      To follow up this anon, it's a couple of Glads you can add to your pic, OP.
      This is the tanky Crupellarius.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        And the cutty Scissor.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >fredericus krugerus origin story

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        The Gauls invented this load out when the rebelled against the empire. They where rocking great helms before it was cool.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          They also invented chain mail, at least in that side of the world. Crafty people.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          They didn't invent it, it was already a thing for a while there, the revolt that passage refers to just talks about some gladiators taking up arms in the fashion that was traditional to gladiators in that province, that might mean it was armor invented in Gaul or that gauls had picked it up for their games.

          Nobody actually knows when Lorica Segmentata style armors first appeared but it was already around by the mid first century BC

  16. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Is he okay?

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      The guy's fine, that's just a dummy. You can see the real gladiator in the shadows behind the dummy propping it up.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      No, died of indigestion.

  17. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    For me it's the caestus

  18. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Hoplomachus if I learn how to use the spear.

  19. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    The Secutor because is a less retarded Murmillo.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      the secutor is wearing the handicap helmet with no air holes
      it is the retard gladiator

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Commodus was a secutor iirc

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        The reason is that secutors mostly fought against retiarii (fish vs fisherman matchup, Romans loved this kind of stuff)
        The retiarius is mostly unarmored but armed with a better weapon, so he's a bit of a glass cannon. The point is that a secutor has to take risks and try to get up close to finish the fight quickly, otherwise he'll get gassed and overheated, meanwhile retiarius tries to evade, tangle his opponent up in his net and inflict small wounds with the trident to win by attrition

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Commodus was a secutor iirc

        >it is the retard gladiator
        >Commodus was a secutor iirc
        checks out

  20. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    what kind of retiardvs shows up to a battle with a net and trident

    Someone taught that man to fish and he went to war.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      It was surprisingly effective in 1v1 combat. Use the net to entangle the opponent and start poking them.

  21. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    as bad as a heavy helmet designed to limit vision is hoplomachus still probably meta, gets a shield and spear so retarius can't harass as well and smaller shield means doesn't wear down as quickly even has leg protection
    roman gladiators are weird though you read about some having features designed to counter other types and have to wonder how much metagaming was going on

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >have to wonder how much metagaming was going on
      Gladiator games are for entertainment not raw combative skill with optimal equipment. The matchups are meant to be interesting.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I rememver certain matchups were ceremonial: Retarius vs Murmillo was a fisherman fighting an armored sea monster, I think.

      >Roman citizen explaining deepest lore to his slave, 23AD, mosaic on bath floor

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        The two boomers sitting in front of Brad and his bimbo there were my football coaches in high school. Every time is see this meme I get a chuckle because there is a 100% chance the guy with the goatee turned around at some point and engaged the couple in conversation so he could get an eye full of that blonde’s bolt ons.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      afaik murmillos and thraxes were often put against one another to compare the usefulness of a larger shield (murm) vs more leg armor (thrax)

  22. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Is the eqves like those fuckers doing lvl 1 dark souls runs?

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Usually they would get the advantage of being on a horse, bot sure how common that was down the line though.

  23. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >not going scissor for maximum offhand hookage
    (you still have a gladius in your right hand)

  24. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Hoplomachus seems OP

  25. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Eqves

  26. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Hoplomachvs.
    Spears are excellent weapons and I'd have a blade to fall back on if someone managed to push in past my point.

  27. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Which is the one that had the blade gloves? I want that one

  28. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Retarius was the joke class. IIRC they lost so often to Murmillo that it was expected.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Retarius was a high risk, high reward class. A really good retarius destroyed a murmillo, but an average to bad retarius jobs against a rookie murmillo all the time.

  29. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Gladiator fights in Hollywood:
    >wanton slaughter with little regard for human life or the costly gladiator training.
    >every gladiator is a poor slave that just happens to be there.

    Real Gladiator fights:
    >a set of complicated funeral fights by trained professionals that love their jobs.
    >different classes of Gladiators with different equipment were matched against each other and a referee made sure that fights were fair.
    >killing a gladiator was extraordinarily expensive. So you mostly had show deaths of criminals or jobbers that were there to be killed by animals or special gladiators.
    >another popular myth is the rape of slave girls by animals, but there is no source to prove that claim. The earliest sources are english fapfictions from the 18th century.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Spartacus blood and sand actually presented gladiator fights pretty damn accurately

  30. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    i choose the Empreor class, and pay my Praetorian Guard pretty well.

  31. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    AND TODAY WE PRESENT:

    A FISH (MYRMILLO)
    VS
    A FISHERMAN (RETIARIVS)

  32. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    If you're not a Murmillon, are you even really a gladiator? You're like the punter on a football team. You might be on the winning team, but you didn't win the game.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      The point of being a Gladiator is having a stupid gimmick. If you don't have a stupid gimmick you might as well not be a Gladiator, just be a soldier.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        It's not that they have a gimmick, it's that they have a *stupid* gimmick

  33. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    HOPLOMACHVS or MVRMILLO, everything else is gay as fuck.

  34. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    SECVTOR, of course

  35. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >you now remember that one Lindybeige video where he claimed Gladiators were basically pro wrestlers of their day
    The man is the greatest shitposter of all time.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Well yeah basically, a gladiator fight was a show where they hopped around and fought to inflict cosmetic wounds on their opponent and win through exhaustion once they thought the crowd was happy. They had referees in the ring, and if you look at their armour it reflects it - protect head and neck, as well as 'fighting arm,' have a shield you can smack around, and leave your torso exposed so you can take lots of nasty looking scratches. Fights to the death were rare but even more hyped.

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