Nuke an entire backyard of weeds

hey PrepHole question for ya:
So my fiance and I just moved into our new house at the end of June and the backyard is an absolute horror show of weeds, moss and patchy dirt spots. Since it was already into summer we decided that next spring would be the time for us to remedy it.
My questions are:
>What's the best option for herbicide to absolutely obliterate everything so I can start fresh and re-seed
>How long for it to fully take effect and wash away (Need to make sure my dog isn't running around it while it's a toxic wasteland)
>Better option than Herbicide?
Thanks bros

  1. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Lawns are cancerous in general, but let's see what I remember.

    Can't recommend a normal store herbicide if you're planning on keeping a vegetable garden anywhere (dunno if you are) since it bleeds into everything in the local environment and you don't wanna eat that. If you don't care and won't have anything playing on your grass then use whatever, but stay the fuck away from Roundup whatever you do. If you want non-toxic shit, corn gluten-based weed killers stop new weeds from sprouting after you yank the grown fuckers out and can help grass growth on the side. Moss is based, everything else would do best getting pulled out by the roots with gloves and a spade if you want the job done thoroughly. Just set aside 30-60 minutes per free day to go out there with a drink and enjoy the weather. As for the bald patches, throw a bit of potting soil and grass seed on it and the patches fill themselves in, been doing that forever.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >Lawns are cancerous in general
      I agree, but I'm trying to find a happy medium between something my dog can run around on but also not having shit pop up that can kill her (We already pulled up a shit ton of Black Nightshade that we didn't even realize was growing).
      I thought about trying to nuke everything, save the topsoil and put down a bunch of clover, but not sure how feasible that would be

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >I'm trying to find a happy medium
        I hear that, I have a lawn that's a fucking eyesore of large dirt/clay patches and some random crab grass. I'm not a lawn snob, I dont intend to make it all solidarity. I do want shit to grow (except crabgrass) so I intend to till, mix some compost, and try to find a blend of low maintenance seed specific to my region and microclover. If you haven't looked into microclover, do so. It's pretty expensive but it works with your grass to provide nutrients and if you want, it can take over.

        Some other grass types that classified as invasive are zoysia and i think st. augustine. There's probably others. meaning if you get it established it'll start taking over and both are low maint but zoysia handles shade better. depending on your region it might not be worth it. I think in the north there's types of rye that are pretty low maintenance.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        looks like it's taken over by low fertility weeds. after tilling everything, a typical "weed, feed and seed" is a good bet for monoculture turf grass.

        microclover is a good option too, doesn't really need as much soil richness, doesn't make flowers constantly, and seems to resist urine spots. or there is also dog-specific grass seed out there.

        think about the future too and if you might want wildflower or garden areas or other landscaping

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >bleeds into everything

      Bullshit unless you fail to follow directions.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      I'll take the bait, what's wrong with roundup?

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Also voting for clover, it will fixate nitrogen from the air and enrich the solid. Then just mow what's there. Monoculture lawns are cringe and cuckpilled

        >I'll take the bait, what's wrong with roundup?
        NGMI. It's cancer in a bottle.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          Interesting. Been using it since 1982. No cancer.
          MIJF

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monsanto_legal_cases#RoundUp

            • 1 month ago
              Anonymous

              You linked to an article that says "inconclusive" at best? Cool. Gonna keep on using it.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          >cringe and cuckpilled

          Thanks for proving you are a clueless child.

          >cancer in a bottle

          Have you tried not drinking it?

  2. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Just rent pic related and tear up the entire lawn, seed, and fertilize

  3. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    depending on how flat you are, rent a sod cutter and flip the sod so the roots are sticking up to the sun. i'm not an expert but could reduce the amount of roundup you have to inject straight to your prostate.

  4. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >we decided that next spring would be the time for us to remedy it

    don't wait until spring. you'll have greater success if you reseed in the early fall. less weed pressure and in the spring you'd be able to kill weeds without killing grass.

  5. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    It would help if you mention which region and what weeds.

    Do you own the property?

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >What region
      gatineau quebec
      >Do you own the property
      Yes

      https://i.imgur.com/Z9qUg8Z.jpg

      Just rent pic related and tear up the entire lawn, seed, and fertilize

      This may actually be a decent idea. Then I could try the corn gluten-based weed killers to stop new ones from popping in like

      Lawns are cancerous in general, but let's see what I remember.

      Can't recommend a normal store herbicide if you're planning on keeping a vegetable garden anywhere (dunno if you are) since it bleeds into everything in the local environment and you don't wanna eat that. If you don't care and won't have anything playing on your grass then use whatever, but stay the fuck away from Roundup whatever you do. If you want non-toxic shit, corn gluten-based weed killers stop new weeds from sprouting after you yank the grown fuckers out and can help grass growth on the side. Moss is based, everything else would do best getting pulled out by the roots with gloves and a spade if you want the job done thoroughly. Just set aside 30-60 minutes per free day to go out there with a drink and enjoy the weather. As for the bald patches, throw a bit of potting soil and grass seed on it and the patches fill themselves in, been doing that forever.

      said.

      Thanks guys

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        So you're from the home of Jacque d'Gatineau, one of the wise men of Canada?

  6. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >we decided that next spring would be the time for us to remedy it.

    don't wait. do it now in the early fall so new grass seed can get a start before winter.

    I'm doing this right now, where I got knock-off brand 18% glyophosate (RoundUp) from Rural King, killed out the entire lawn front and back, am going to rent a mini skid steer with a tiler attachment for $300 for the entire day to till the entire property under, then I'll seed and straw the lot, kick back and wait.

  7. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Fastest would be sod cutter, bring in compost and seed/hydro seed.
    My lawn looked like your pic rel when I bought my first house. I sprayed a Scott’s safe for grass weed killer over the whole thing. After the weeds died I thatched, aerated and overseeded in the spring and fall for 2 years. Nice lush green and weed free. Good luck op

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      This certainly the classy way to go, A soil test would be useful as well.

      A budget approach is regular applications of weed n feed and some spot spraying and hand digging. After a long while you end up with a lawn of one or more types of grass.

  8. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    More important than weeds, your soil is shit and drainage needs to be examined.
    Amend your soil first.

  9. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    just use multiple tarps to cover the area, nothing will be able to grow it'll all die out and you'll be able to plant fresh afterwards

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      no photons no photosynthesis

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        just use multiple tarps to cover the area, nothing will be able to grow it'll all die out and you'll be able to plant fresh afterwards

        This is the way, so simple yet so effective

  10. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Weed-B-Gon is amazing stuff. It's a broad leaf weed killer so it leaves the grass intact. It's made out of some of the same stuff as Agent Orange from the Vietnam war and works like a charm.

  11. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Rent rototiller
    Grind everything into the ground
    Cover with cardboard
    Add soil
    Fresh seed/sod

  12. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >my yard looks like a healthy and natural environment in my region
    >what poison should I spray on it?
    >also, once I rake out all the leaves and carry all the dead grass to the dump, what artificial fertilizer should I spread across my land and allow to seep into the soil and the groundwater, which either I or my descendants will drink?
    all this to impress the neighbors...how terrible. Lawns were a mistake

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >the backyard is an absolute horror show of weeds, moss and patchy dirt spots.

      Noooo! OP's yard is healthy and natural!!!

      Pic is generic, moron. Go gather a nice organic salad of poison ivy,

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        hazardous plants, like poison ivy/oak/sumac, and ones that are poisonous to your pets are obvious exceptions, anon. Otherwise, all this money, time, water, and other resources just to make your lawn conventionally "nice" just so you don't feel like a poor person is just absurd. So many better uses of the space that don't poison the environment around you.

        heads up for people who plan on having children, especially women (since they're born with all the eggs they'll ever have), be very careful with pesticides. Not only will they cause you trouble, they'll fuck up your kids as well. Sons born to people who deal with a lot of pesticides are far more likely to suffer genital defects, like the dickhole being on the side of the shaft, or the nuts being somewhere other than they belong.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          Rubbish

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >artificial fertilizer
      What so scary about NO3, CaCO3, PO4, KNO3, etc? Oh I get it you have no idea what the fuck you’re talking about

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        That's not what I'm talking about and you know it. I also noticed that you didn't even try to defend the pesticides. At least you're not totally retarded.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          Certain pesticide labels have their uses but yeah I’m not into digesting them so Monsanto can write off the legal fees from their taxes. One day you could stop being a soil fertilitylet, you know.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >my yard looks like a healthy and natural environment in my region
      OP is in Gatineau. His yard would "naturally" be a forest. It looks like that because it's compacted mud. Rototiller + reseeding + regular mowing is his cheapest option.

      Of course OP has a dog, who is going to turn any lawn into a patch of mud anyway.

  13. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    If you want the best possible lawn, spray a broad spectrum herbicide to kill every plant, then plant what we call a smother crop. This will be a warm season annual grass which will grow vigorously and suppress weed survivors. At the end of the summer spray kill your smother crop and plant your cool season perennial lawn grass (in the mid Atlantic region, probably tall fescue)

  14. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Well, with that small a target area, your only option is the M-29 unless you want to settle for a dirty bomb. I'd recommend you get at least a mile away pre-launch just to be safe

  15. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Till it, top it, roll it and plant white dutch clover. I mow my clover lawn once/month and its full of wildlife now. I live in a subdivision and a hawk keeps sitting in my yard trying to kill my rabbit friends.

  16. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Goats, clover, shit, mulch and compost.
    Find a local company offering goat mowing or weed control. Plant a literal fuckload of white clover after the goats. You can add mulch at this step, but a light layer. Once the clover is literally everywhere, add shit and mulch. Till it all together, then plant grass and white clover. Add a layer of mulch about 1-2 inches.
    >Call local tree companies and ask about mulch. You may get it for free or really cheap.
    >Find folks with livestock for the shit. Chicken, goat, cow, or horse are greater.
    If you want the super cheap and lazy method without chemicals. 6 inches of mulch will act as a barrier to almost any plant under it.

  17. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >weeds are le bad

  18. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Moss is good though anon
    >doesn't need as much direct light
    >doesn't need to be cut
    >soft
    >covers up dirt uniformly

    Really you should just take the best looking weed that is most robust and covers everything well and spread it as much as possible until it's largely all that's left. It'll be much easier than trying to fight nature itself.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >It'll be much easier than trying to fight nature itself.
      if only society understood that as a whole, this is especially true for food production, we should strive to go along with nature, not against it
      see Food Forests and Syntropic Farming

      forgot to reply

  19. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >It'll be much easier than trying to fight nature itself.
    if only society understood that as a whole, this is especially true for food production, we should strive to go along with nature, not against it
    see Food Forests and Syntropic Farming

  20. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I know this isn't the point of the board, but my gf and I paid some landscapers to give us a reset a few months after we moved in to our new house. We had a ton of other shit to do to get settled in and just didn't have time to stay on top of it. Once we were ready to tackle it it had grown into a four man job. I highly recommend this depending on how much free time you have right now.

  21. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Sprayed this summer with 2,4-D and threw some water, leftover rock salt and dish soap in there to stretch the herbicide. It killed about 2 feet beyond the boundary that I sprayed. Nothing has grown there since

  22. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    plow it flatten it put real grass carpet over it

  23. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    weeds are a natural and healthy part of the native plant reclaimation cycle.
    if you're concerned about bare patches, overseed with some clover.

  24. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Throw down a lot of clover

  25. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Forget chemicals. Till it all up and replant.

  26. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Do what I did as a kid. Mix all the shampoos/chemicals in the bathroom then pour it onto the grass. That same patch of lawn became black which in return, killed the weeds and pissed off my parents. Yes I am retarded and it was fun.

  27. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Ez, fuck all plant life

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