Welcome to PrepHole, kiddo. If you think what I said was anywhere close to edgy, perhaps reddit.com/r/ukraine is more your speed. I come here to laugh at burning slav bodies, both Russian and Ukrainian. It makes me laugh to know a bunch of worthless retards are dying over nothing.
Nah son, that shits gay. You wanna drop some real ordinance, not those clean-up crew cherry bombs. Where's the fucking gopro urban combat? Where can I find more BMPs skipping 30mm across the pavement? It's just janitors doing thier fucking job. Yes I'm mad, stupid pricks like you deserve one of those frags square on the nuts with no secondary.
I fucking hate this useless gay brotherwar and i'm not even slightly concerned (except my taxes go into Ukraine ofc). Those images are god awful, Putin, Zelensky, Biden, Macron and all the reste are god awful. The whole thing is lame and disgusting. Fuck them all.
Russians believe they and Ukraine are brother nations (aka triune people). Which is a big tipoff that op has putin's cock down his throat.
3 weeks ago
Anonymous
>Which is a big tipoff that op has putin's cock down his throat.
That guy isn't me.
3 weeks ago
Anonymous
No one would dispute this. Half of them speak the same language and the other half basically do. Russians and Ukrainians are like Scots and Celts. Americans and Canadians. Spanish and Portuguese.
Ukraine is finally on the attack, I found a cute chubby gf that cooks, vatniks and chinks are getting btfo left and right, life is beautiful and amazing.
Great. Every day we get more dead slavs from the endless Slav Slaughter, the Blood God is appeased, and Polacks remain seething. I hope this war never ends.
>I hear the boys in the kremli-la-krem are prepping a little retaliation for western yurope.
Those gabby motherfuckers should quit squawking like old ladies and get on with it then.
Not him, but I spent the equivalent of $20k dollars on a degree I'm failing, I don't have enough money to redo the year. My wife has had 5 miscarriages in the last two years, my marriage is breaking up, I hate my job and my job hates me so that's probably not gonna last and I've had to sell a bunch of stuff and remortgage the house just to keep afloat, I'm sick from service related shit and can't afford the medical bills.
I think I'm seriously just going to shoot myself. Like seriously. It's not a joke. I made this thread so someone would ask me, but nobody did.
The only thing keeping me going is the little guy in the OP. If anything happened to him I don't know what I'd do. My life is a failure and I wish I was dead.
Please overdose on heroin instead, we don't need another one for the gun death statistics. Even though we all know that's bullshit and going out with your own firearm is one of the inalienable rights we all have.
OP, I hope you learn something today. You gotta put it out there. You can't just wait for someone to ask. I made that mistake like 9000 times when I was younger. It's good you made this thread man. Don't let the system grind you down, even if you go bankrupt, that's what it's trying to do. Don't let it.
I'll vent my first worls problems I guess >work at at a hospital in a poor area >low pay, garbage clientele, can't leave this place for another year >see lunatics on public transit every day, completely normalized in the social fabric somehow
I need some healthcare for myself man.
If your disability isn’t too bad then try to get back in through the National Guard. They pay all tuition for most state universities via the minuteman scholarship, you get your tricare back (which on the part time side is barely above $150 w/ dependents) and you can try to get an MOS that correlates to a real CIV job. They’re also giving fat bonuses to Reservists now so you could maybe leverage that. Don’t give up just yet, things aren’t as bad as they seem.
It's never too late to turn it all around anon. Take the trouble to struggle for a better future. This life is perpetual struggle. Don't leave your wife and doges alone. We may never know each other, anon, but I want you to know I'm sending you good thoughts and love.
Do not try to "eat the elephant". Embrace autism and document your issues as individual problems with things that are causing them.
Degree: what is it, and have you communicate to your school what is going on?
Wife: Communicate and determine if the relationship is salvageable, just listen and document what her biggest stressors are, ask directly, do not try to solve them in that conversation.
Job: You know its bad, if you can relocate do so. Just fucking start applying.
Stuff and house: If it is too expensive, it is a hot coal you are trying to hold onto.
If you want actual help from the thread:
What is your job? Not where you work, just, what is your skillset?
Are you willing to move?
Are you prior military?
And Anon, if you aren't real, and are just trying to be a downer. Fuck yourself, but also this will serve as an example of people who are capable of still caring, so you still did some good. Entropy will never stop, but neither will creation.
Dogs save lives anon. Treat the pupper well and he'll treat you well. Do it for him. You are going through an extremely unlucky time of your life, but that doesn't mean that you'll be unlucky forever. If you get past this, then you'll be better for it.
>I made this thread so someone would ask me, but nobody did.
You're getting the (You)s now, good and bad. Make the most of it, people tend to think about their self, even you right? You made this thread for yourself not out of any genuine concern for the wellbeing of others. You clearly stated that, so don't get upset nobody shined light on you.
Hang in there, my dude!
Things might seem tough now, but they will get better. You need to power through the tough times and keep going.
I failed out of college essentially THREE times. Yet I kept going back and plan on graduating this semester. Never give up and don't fear failure. It's something essentially we all gotta deal with.
You'll make it through to better times.
Just don't be the one that defeats yourself. Support yourself. Get some more good food and sleep.
Wish I had some advice to give you but I don’t unfortunately. Your dog is cute though. I hope it works out for you somehow, anon. If you live through this, you’ll have one hell of a story to share
I went back to school as well anon to change careers. Put in the time and effort to do well anon it’s possible. Do not give up just because things are tough right now.
>too poor to complete degree
Get loan, preferably from your family
>wife miscarried 5 times
Dude just go for artificial insemination, you should have went for that after the 2nd time
>going to kill myself
I know it's hard but calm down and think about it. You should try and exhaust all possible options before you do something so drastic. Have faith and keep trying.
You all need to give up on this whole not being in pain thing. I don't get you people.
Like what the fuck do you think you're supposed to be doing here in the suffering pit?
Doing decently well. I’m improving my shooting with my RMR I just need to get a more consistent draw stroke so I pick it up every time it comes out of the holster.
Honestly? Not too great
I hope it's all just memes, but I'm really unhappy to see that all we have left to pick as leadership nowadays is either a based and trad (but incompetent) one vs a hypercompetent (but globohomo) one
I have heard many adjectives used for Joe Biden. Competent has never been one of them. Even Obama, the guy who picked Biden for VP, thought he was a perennial fuck up.
>crippling anxiety, self consciousness and insecurity >multiple health issues in my 20s >the underclasses are about to start rioting in the streets
Not fucking good
I'm perpetually one disaster away from not being able to keep a roof over my son's head, so that's fun. His mom is bipolar and it's getting worse recently. Sometimes we hate each other, other times we're as in love as when we first started dating. The big family support system that we moved back out to the c*ty for doesn't actually show up.
But our son is healthy and happy, we have a one-year plan to get back to the small town we met in where I'm already talking to employers who can pay at least what I'm making here and the cost of living is lower.
Tl;dr could be better; could be worse
My wife is bi polar, it sucked at first, I researched a lot about it and over time I was able to handle her. Some times when she has an episode, it's just best to walk away because no matter what you say and do it won't mean jack shit.
Best of luck to you, keep at it and you'll make it through it.
Do you happen to have an idea of places to start looking? I'm reading a few articles here and there
My wife is bi polar, it sucked at first, I researched a lot about it and over time I was able to handle her. Some times when she has an episode, it's just best to walk away because no matter what you say and do it won't mean jack shit.
Best of luck to you, keep at it and you'll make it through it.
My dad is in bad health, so I'm responsible for earning enough money for the household
He probably won't die before I'm in my 40's
I wanted a career (which would require me to move to a bigger city)
I wanted to travel the world
Whatever, I'm tired
>I'm responsible for earning enough money for the household
Are you though? Why would you spend your life taking care of someone who already spent theirs?
Body recomposition is going well for me. I've been lifting for years but I've had the discipline to eat better so i could ditch the skinnyfat look. Hopefully I'll look better before my trip to Rome in July so I could get some Italian poon.
I wouldn't worry about it, the amount of fat hairy bastards hung with gold chains you see with petite girls on Italian beaches is through the roof. Dimorphism at work.
P good. In the process of moving into an apartment with gf and simultaneously switching to a tech job. Stressful but our new couch is coming tomorrow and my recruiter says the manager thinks I’m “very bright.” So the worst is probably over.
I lost my tech job and make 16 dollars at walmart now because I was retarded and had zero savings. The hunt for a new better job been going on for almost 6 months now. Dozens of interviews, retarded surveys and hr being morons. Moved into families garage with my wife and daughter because cant make rent. now my family wants rent for the fucking garage and I think they are about to threaten to kick us out. Its infested with ants and I have to sleep on the floor because the wife and baby take the bed. On top i am being audited by the irs and they want 9k for some dumb fucking reason. A tax lawyer would cost me 5k. I dont know whats going recently but I just roll with the belief that God wants to test and humble me and things will improve eventually. If my family kicks us out I will have no option but to take a night shift job somewhere to pay for a motel or something. I am not making this shit up.
keep looking forward. We will all make it eventually and God bless.
NTA but IT is shifting in a weird way in the US. I had never gotten unsolicited recruiter emails before this year. I have an MS in informatics and learned a ton of different IT things as a necessity. There seems to be more demand for high level niche stuff now
I think sooner later something comes around but the hiring process in the US is vastly different compared to germany. I lived in germany for 20 years and got my ausbildung there before we moved back to the states. I was born in Wiesbaden.
In germany a good arbeitszeugnis and not being a total retard usualy lands you a job in 2-4 weeks. Here in the US its at least 3 interviews, reference check, background check, assessment (center)s and a drug test. Its stupid retard and somehow HR departments love to send you some moron myers briggs personality test before even your first interview.
To add before I worked remote for a large german "IT-Systemhaus" but even higher german salaries pale in comparission to what you can make in the US. In addition its a fucking pain in the ass to file your taxes here if you have any sort of overseas income or bank accounts. Even if you file your fbars and all the shit properly the irs is constantly giving you shit. So I left them to work for a US company which laid me off with a bunch of other people. Basically they fired based on time with the new company and the new ones were the first to let go. I inquired at the german company if they consider rehiring me but my spot is already taken and honestly I think their HR cbb dealing with all the arbeitsrecht crap hiring some dude to work remote from the US
Wife just peed a positive pregnancy test yesterday after literally "Trying" one time. Both in a little bit of shock that it happened so quickly but things are good and we are as ready as we can be. Wish me luck as a 1st time dad if all goes well. Can't tell friends or family yet so I'm telling the kommandos.
Became a dad 36h ago. As the baby was born, 2 other women were rushed in, which preoccupied the 2 nurses. The doc asked me:" Got a tough stomach? We need to sew your wife up a little and I need a third hand"
Guy was from somewhere in the Levante. Really good stitches. Wife is fine and walking.
Healthy boy 50cm 3,4kgs for the burgers:length is how every AR barrel should be 20" and weighs a little less than an unloaded AK.
To all guys out there with money problems':
Been there. Unfucked my spending, stuffed the biggest drains. Which meant no eating out, no bs Impulse purchases and switching jobs to one within biking distance.
Have a good friend that can't find his place in life yet. Told him that I never want to inherit on of his guns. Hope he never gives in.
not good at the moment fellas. I'm between moving apartments, I bought a motorcycle on Tuesday and Tuesday night it got stolen before i could even register it. losing my shit this is terrible
Wife just peed a positive pregnancy test yesterday after literally "Trying" one time. Both in a little bit of shock that it happened so quickly but things are good and we are as ready as we can be. Wish me luck as a 1st time dad if all goes well. Can't tell friends or family yet so I'm telling the kommandos.
I went schizo last year and lost my job. I've gotten fat since then with new medications, but I have a new job and I'm about to visit my long distance gf (who I broke up with because I thought she was a Chinese spy last year before she took me back). Things are going okay.
Better, thanks for asking.
I'm having my ups and downs and I just hit a major down again, but I'm overall on an upward trajectory, so I'm confident I will be fine in a few months time
Finishing up physical therapy after had three disks in my neck replaced. Cleared to return to work next month. Not sure if I want to, it's been two years and my friend offered me a similar job for similar pay. My mom still sleeps on my couch and has been regressing. Hopefully things work out.
Kinda lonely tbh. Not that that's unusual but I don't really know how to make friends outside of places where I'm compelled to interact with the same people on a regular basis so I just kinda don't. If anything I'm more bothered by my parents being concerned over me being alone more than I am by actually being alone. Otherwise pretty good, though.
Terrible just like the last ten years, every time i leave the house I only see ugly misshapen brown people, ugly neighborhoods filled up with ugly brown people and dysgenic mullatos that share none of my values or culture. I make no money.
My circumstances are on the edge of a knife and i see no point in trying to improve them. I have no friends, i dont leave the house. i dont drink or smoke weed i just get home from work and blast jazz and read PrepHole and twitter without posting anything, week after week year after year. My life is utterly meaningless and a case study on how a white male can be 100% demoralized without feeling the need to kill themselves
~~*They*~~ did this to us. Only miningful road is leaving brown hell, find a good woman, father children, embrace faith, work and hope for better future.
Kinda of pissed that my split request was denied considering they had 4 months to figure this out so now I'm fighting with airlines and hotels to get my money back. I was really looking forward to that trip.
Lost my job and looking for work. I don't have enough experience to do what I want and it's what I keep hearing when anyone bothers to say anything. I'm looking for junior positions but honestly, I just don't know what I want to do. Still, sending out as many applications as I can. My old employer is dragging their feet on giving me paperwork so I can get unemployment, which is stressful. It just all feels like I can't catch a break. It's exhausting and I'm starting to get desperate. But I'm trying not to let it get to me.
Thanks man. And thanks to the other anons in here looking to help others. It means something.
Godspeed.
[...]
Became a dad 36h ago. As the baby was born, 2 other women were rushed in, which preoccupied the 2 nurses. The doc asked me:" Got a tough stomach? We need to sew your wife up a little and I need a third hand"
Guy was from somewhere in the Levante. Really good stitches. Wife is fine and walking.
Healthy boy 50cm 3,4kgs for the burgers:length is how every AR barrel should be 20" and weighs a little less than an unloaded AK.
To all guys out there with money problems':
Been there. Unfucked my spending, stuffed the biggest drains. Which meant no eating out, no bs Impulse purchases and switching jobs to one within biking distance.
Have a good friend that can't find his place in life yet. Told him that I never want to inherit on of his guns. Hope he never gives in.
Congrats man, kids are the best. Treat him right and always make him your priority.
https://i.imgur.com/9I7YBFi.jpg
Not him, but I spent the equivalent of $20k dollars on a degree I'm failing, I don't have enough money to redo the year. My wife has had 5 miscarriages in the last two years, my marriage is breaking up, I hate my job and my job hates me so that's probably not gonna last and I've had to sell a bunch of stuff and remortgage the house just to keep afloat, I'm sick from service related shit and can't afford the medical bills.
I think I'm seriously just going to shoot myself. Like seriously. It's not a joke. I made this thread so someone would ask me, but nobody did.
The only thing keeping me going is the little guy in the OP. If anything happened to him I don't know what I'd do. My life is a failure and I wish I was dead.
Don't give up man. Consider rethinking what you want to do. Maybe you will be happier starting over with a new career, hard as that sounds. You can make it man.
War has always been in my mind. Troubled childhood and such. But this war has warped my mind. I've been paying attention to Ukraine for years but mostly just thought, "huh, people should pay attention to this, this could be big". Years later as an adult I am knowledgeable than most, and incapable of action. Moral of the story is be practical and work within your circle of influence, don't be like me and have your brain too far in the world of ideas. I wish I could help through work than anything else, but can't.
Middling for the most part, except my job which I really really enjoy. It doesn't pay well, but I get to work outdoors with very nice people.
Would be nice if I had more time and energy over outside of work to improve other aspects of my life. Got family members that need a lot of help and support though.
powering through severe depression by putting my nose to the grindstone, starting a new career and realizing nothing makes me happy anymore even though I have a loving wife and a happy family
just keep powering through it and trying to be the best man I can be
To be honest, things are ok.
My personal sitation is that i have cold feet, but i can't be arsed to get up and put on socks. I'll run 8km later, my daily amount.
I'm out of a job, but have almost no trouble with it. I got money for decades and no desire to work again.
Wife died a few years ago, children are out of the house.
I shitpost a lot.
Globally i think the planet is fucked, but i'm almost 50 and don't need it for only maybe 30 more years.
I have no trouble with Russia, almost all Nations that started a war since about 1900 has lost, so will Russia and later China. They will try again, obviously.
I don't see the western decline so many third worlders speak about. The west is more united and stronger than ever.
They say you have to judge a man not by what he dislikes, but what he likes. I like rule of law, personal freedom and liberal democratic governments. So do most people, even in shitholes. So yes, i think everything is fine.
Except that we fuck up the planet right now. The insect bio mass in Germany has dropped by 70% since the 80ies. That tells you where it's going.
fucking dreadful, as usual. I've been suicidal for most of my life and yet—surprise of surprises given the fact that I'm writing this despite a life of suicidal idealisation—the conversion rate of suicidal thoughts to actual suicides is disappointingly low.
Just wish those silly animal pics worked and I could just not wake up. Often though about some Goldburg machine that would randomly trigger within a preset window whilst you're sleeping and kill you instantly. Damn that'd be good.
Turning 24 in a couple of weeks, and I'm tired. I don't really have the motivation or incentive to do much of anything these days beyond barely staying in shape. I'm sick of life, I don't enjoy it and am not sure if I ever actually did. My country continues to circle the drain and get worse at an impressive rate, and all I can do is sit here and watch.
The amount of propaganda surrounding the Ukraine war is depressing. Every day I'm bombarded with the same rhetoric that was used to justify the 2001 afghanistan invasion and its killing me.
I'm late 20s. My life is fairly stable and good but my heart weeps for my fellow man, the state of our country, and the west as a whole. I do my best to live a life worth living and inspire others to be better despite a fairly uneventful existence. There is no savior, no messiah that can change our trajectory and it gives me hope that we will die and reemerge stronger as we shed the rot and dead weight. I know there are people like me here and a lot of you are capable, who can be better than they are now with some purpose or an actual challenge to overcome. In the face of mass demoralization your biggest goal should be to remoralize your fellow man which will feedback into you. There is only so much you can do by yourself. I could want to fight and sacrifice everything to move the needle but it would ultimately make no difference if I didn't effect change in others. You need everyone standing shoulder to shoulder making a small sacrifice of their own. My morale is irrelevant if I cannot inspire everyone else to want to inspire me.
Terrible, life is not going how I thought a decent person would live and I'm not "growing out," of personal problems and am coping in the most horrible ways with pure escapism instead of tackling the problems because honestly I don't know how to do that. You can do things that you think are right, but still end up completely wrong and aimless. The shame and helplessness are getting to me while I put on a facade of remaining strong, but I think I'm making it worse.
BTW not diagnosed or medicated with anything, unless you count booze.
Not him, but I spent the equivalent of $20k dollars on a degree I'm failing, I don't have enough money to redo the year. My wife has had 5 miscarriages in the last two years, my marriage is breaking up, I hate my job and my job hates me so that's probably not gonna last and I've had to sell a bunch of stuff and remortgage the house just to keep afloat, I'm sick from service related shit and can't afford the medical bills.
I think I'm seriously just going to shoot myself. Like seriously. It's not a joke. I made this thread so someone would ask me, but nobody did.
The only thing keeping me going is the little guy in the OP. If anything happened to him I don't know what I'd do. My life is a failure and I wish I was dead.
I didn't read the thread before posting, that's pretty fucked up man.
I'm in a similar situation, I'd do it but my dog loves me too much.
Any extra details on your situation? IE what pisses you off about your job.
No wife, gf, job, house, nothing. I'd take the bullshit you've described over nothing at all any day and we both know you wouldn't trade down to this either.
Of course not. There's much more to this life than the menial tasks we do every day. You can face the strange but it's going to take a radical effort on your part. Make that change even if it's frightening, anon.
NTA, but you probably got smacked by the depression stick somewhere down the line, assuming you're not currently abusing alcohol or drugs. Either get on an SSRI or find something that gives you a sense of purpose; ideally do both. Sometimes shit is just genetics and neurochemistry and you need medication to move forward. Regardless, good luck with it.
>majority
No, majority is neurotypical, and everyone feels sad sometimes. Depression becomes a problem when that sadness becomes chronic, when it impacts on your daily functionality, and when it poses a risk of degenerating in a permanent sense of despair.
I'm trying to save money to start traveling a bit more. After that idk, maybe just keep job hopping to get better and better pay. Maybe go back to school.
I still live in a ban state, but aside from that I have everything PrepHole related I need for a while. Probably not buying any new guns until the AWB is overturned.
I'm not from Texas, and I haven't read up on what you're asking, but i'm bored so I'm going to shitpost/speculate.
Texas is pretty much ranches and oil fields. So all that open space you think it has? It doesn't. Somebody owns it. All the land is privately owned so you can't go shooting anywhere. My guess.
That map is partially correct. The Wait Periods slide is partially true for PA when you're talking handguns. Rifles are private or transfer (4473, BG check) as normal but handguns are 4473 plus bg check plus PA State Police form. You fill it out and if everything comes back all good you take it home as you would any other transfer. If anything you might get a "delay" like any other transfer if that.
And PA is open carry without license OK but getting in or on a vehicle is considered "concealing". Yes if you go by their definition, bicycle open carry is concealed. Yes it's fucking retarded.
I'm feeling pretty shitty, still recovering from a migraine. I have some Vietnamese style coffee, that helps.
At least I finally convinced work that they're a completely valid reason to call out.
Seriously, migraines are the absolute worst, I envy the people who don't get them.
I also absolutely hate range boomers. It's an outdoor range, let me shoot my fmj .308 you fucks.
On the bright side, I've just about got my lizard enclosure set up.
Feeling pretty alright. Still waiting for this war to end so I can finish writing a story about it. Other than that I'm thinking about heading out for some shootan soon at the local range but I'm waiting to see what's on my schedule.
I'm bad man. I really want to come back to the frontlines, but I also want to live a normal life. Too bad my heart was broken today by a girl I fell in love with and she really feels shit for me too but has a boyfriend.
It's the middle of the night, I'm drunk and this thread is the best place to talk to someone at this time.
pic is my last trench. love you brehs
I know the feel. We can't go back to that moment, but know something. You exist in a transient moment, it is where you are most real. Do you like storms? I do. Do you like that quiet moment at night around 4am when everyone is gone but no one has woken up yet?
You found where you exist, and you are longing for it. The battlefield is one of those places, but it is not the only place. Fuck man, I've been blessed with a family but sometimes I just crave hearing the CRAM, feeling the fucking shockwaves, hearing the equipment. The dust. Is it weird to miss the dust? But Duty. I have duty, I have a mission. Its about them. If you have no "Them" you have the world around you, and duty still. You can still produce utility, make things better. The world is better with your existence, you just need to go to where you are welcomed, needed.
The normiesphere is not for fucking any of us. not anymore. Its fine, I don't need to die by my own hand. OIF-OEF will catch up with us all. Drink green tea to stave it off for a little longer though, get away from coffee and smokes.
Overseas anon, there are still duties to preform. Apply non stop, put out a hundred, put out three hundred. Go to do humanitarian work. Get out of the US, it is a comfy death trap that slowly suffocates you. Start looking for the right doors and start knocking on them; arab gulf, Indonesia, Vietnam. Doesn't even have to be war work. Go learn to do welding, HVAC, machine operation. Fuck. Don't want to do that? Take up 3d printing. Find reason to Create.
Entropy never stops, but that is what we are indoctrinated with. What they don't tell you is creation never stops either. you burned away shit to make room for new growth, now grow, do not remain barren.
Thank you my man. I actually decided to not come back to the US after Ukraine and stayed in Poland. It's kind of comfy here, but I also get eaten by nostalgia pretty often.
And I just lost 5 more brothers yesterday, they were hit by russian artillery. Shit is heavy, but as you said, I have a mission and must go on for those who already finished.
It just felt so right and so simple to be there. I don't belive in god, but I hope at least some of my brothers come out alive and not crazy after all this shit. No connections I've made in civil life are as strong as I have with them
I documented everything she did wrong, took pics, saved texts, and much more. She's also been admitted a handful of times, a couple times it was not involuntarily. She didn't use to be batshit crazy, after her mom died she went down hill.
Texts are solid evidence but how in the hell did they accept photos and your documentation? Those two always get thrown out under the guise you've staged and forged.
Bitch became a hoarder towards the end of our relationship, piles of garbage chest high in her bedroom, photos of scratches and bruises she did to me when she flipped her shit along with police reports.
Doing okay, working on a grant proposal for a research project and went to the gym. The brownoid malding over the last week alone has me covered for the rest of 2023.
Have been constipated for a long time. Drank more coffee than usual today, had more success shitting, thought back on times when it wasn't as bad and realized I was drinking way more coffee then.
6 cups and jittery as fuck. Never take your health for granted, anons.
I dunno what it is but I've been feeling really weird as of late, closest thing I can think of is paranoia/feeling of impending doom. Really put a damper on celebrating my graduation other stuff that should give me joy. Shit's been going on for months at this point and has honestly been very debilitating, hard to focus on anything else like finding a job.
Depression hitting hard again. Took me the good part of 3 years to get back on my feet after the last major depressive episode, even found a job. Now my job has quickly eroded my sanity. It's a good thing I'm a nogun 'cause I would have already shot myself at this point.
It is fucking waaay past midnight and I can't fucking sleep, again. I'm really tired of this fucking laying in bed for three fucking hours and giving up when I hear the birds yelling again, only to take some fucking sleep med, sleep 4 hours, and be groggy, and yet again, not be able to sleep the next day.
everyone already has a master's and is starting families, i did nothing but working shit jobs, NEETing, fapping, drawing a bit and playing vidya most of my 20s. I am also still a touchless khv.
i fucked up my life real bad....
You guys have any advice on how to salvage the shitheap that is my life?
Anon, I graduated at 32 too (34 now). My work paid for me to finish my degree online, which worked way better for me (autist) than traditional college - and I don’t owe any student loans.
I’ve already doubled what I was making, though now I have the new problem of having pole vaulted myself into a job I’m terrible at. Oh well.
Thinking of going back to school to become a psychologist, cus it’s seemingly the only thing my bad ADD/tism won’t fuck up. It’s an intimidating thought and it’ll cost a lot, so I really have to think hard about it.
I’d also really like to get hitched at some point, but I work so much it’s hard to get dates. Might move to England where I’ve got family, see if shit’s better over there.
Just gotta stay positive and think of what could be coming in the future. You’re never trapped, there’s always a way out.
>Might move to England where I’ve got family, see if shit’s better over there.
If you don't live in Liberia it is NOT better here
Wherever you are, stay there. England is not a liveable country by any means any more.
I'm in a similar boat anon. Just finished college last week at age 29. Overcame a pretty severe drinking problem and managed to get the degree in a fast and economical manner once I committed to it. This is a big improvement of course, but I still hate my life. I'm lonely as fuck and I've been burned enough times that I'm completely turned off trying to make friends/date.
I have enough energy to go to work, feed and groom myself, but I don't enjoy much of anything these days. If life got more unpleasant or difficult I'd probably just kms.
AFPC initiated a full MEB for me. Gave me an option for Legacy (30 days) or Integrated (7-10 months of VA BS)
My diagnosis is MDD. I've been in therapy for the last 2 years. Went to rehab last year for alcohol abuse. I am extremely embarassed by my failures. I am torn between fighting my separation because I dont want to admit that I am insufficient and accepting it because and I'm extremely miserable and lonely. I want to beleive that I tried my best but I'm secretly grateful for the MEB. I fucking suck at my job. I suck so bad that I've never been a crewcheif and have instead worked backshop my entire 3 years into my 6 year contract. I haven't seen my family since I joined back in 2020 because I am terrified of them knowing how poorly I am doing. I am going to get drunk and call my dad tonight because I can't do it sober.
I'm not expecting any additional disability and the thought of gaming the system disgusts me especially because I dont deserve it. 1st Sgt said to game the system but I dont feel right doing that.
I don’t know what any of that means, but as a tax paying civilian, please fleece the system. If not for you, for all the veterans like my grandpa and dad who had claims denied by the VA for what are clearly service related injuries.
Fuck ‘em. Can’t even be mad at the vet bros that do it, because I’d fucking do it too.
I dont deserve it. I got to know a lot of different veterans when I was in rehab. People who had done alot more than myself and had actually been injured, lost their families, became homeless. There are too many people like that who aren't getting help for me to accept that. I remmeber some 80 year olds care taker killed themself and the dude had no where else to go besides rehab just so he had a place to sleep and eat. Completely deaf and had no idea what was happening to him. A few weeks later his astranged son came to collect him. I'm fucking 21 and I dont need that more than he does.
You not accepting the help they’re offering doesn’t magically give the other veterans the care they need.
As sad and fucked up as it is, that’s not your fight. Take any VA bennies you can get, the only person that’s gonna look after you is yourself.
Hope this helps, anon. Wishing you all the best.
The "attitude check" for the control tower crew at Keflavik Air Force Base, Iceland:
First Lieutenant Michael Edwards: Let's have an attitude check!
Tower crew: I hate this fucking place!
Edawrds: Let's have a positive attitude check!
Tower crew: I positively hate this fucking place!
Edwards: Let's have a negative attitude check!
Tower crew: I don't like this fucking place!
Edwards: Let's have a short attitude check!
Tower crew: Fuckit!
I've come to the realization that I'm the kind of knuckle-dragging retard who shouldn't own guns. I realized that because holding mine while just sitting on ass behind my desk watching youtube videos gives me a feeling of confidence, masculinity, and a general boost to my mood. Not that those are bad things, but anyone who will sit there and play with a gun is clearly a knuckle-dragging retard.
I feel like shit. I live in Hungary and we are currently at the rock bottom of our post-1956 history. I have no words for my hate for Orbán, it's fucking unreal.
I'm realizing I need to man up and end my 8 year relationship with my fiancee.
After several attempts on her own life and suggesting to take time apart I'm now aware the underlying message.
She's not happy anymore.
wanna die, considering:
-grenade in mouth
-maled by bear (or bears)
-super high calibur shot gun
I want it quick really.
I'd actually rather have someone else to because I want multiple shots: 4 in the head first (side, top, mouth, and one for good measure) then the neck, then the stomach, then the dick. I suppose one will do on the head if my head is blown to smithereens. I wand a close shot in between the eyes. Yes I know I go on to much.
I have been completely alone for four years and the suicidal thoughts are back
My medical issues keep getting worse and each year I develop new ones
I don't think I'll last much longer to be honest, I wish I was never born
Work is getting to me. Had to be on call when they hauled a woman who had been dead for 2 weeks out of her home. I work in the American South and there was no AC in the home
Trying to forget it
Tired of living.
The only reason I haven't shot myself is the kids, plus I don't want my death to be used to puff up "gun violence" stats.
There is no rest.
A better day is not coming.
This is all there is.
I wish I'd been stillborn.
Just bought picrel as carry gun with my recent bonus for graduating academy
This month marks 2 years since my divorce and I don't miss my ex wife so that's cool. I miss my ex gf I broke up with a couple months ago though, that was for the best.
Been dating, still pretty young. Have gone on a couple of good dates lately and possibly have found someone I think could work out long term. We'll see. Got a cutie coming home from her mission very soon and I've kind been waiting to see if things might just go somewhere with her since she squats more than me and has thighs sent straight from Allah.
Career is doing pretty good, fto is stressful but I'm getting the hang of things. Lots of tweakers and weirdos in my area. Getting a raise in July so that's pretty neat. Got an award for doing some gay shit recently and that felt good.
Sold my ptr91 with wood furniture and I regret it despite making a fuck ton off of it. Maybe I can buy another but finding wood for a ptr is just a pain, anyone have any luck with the cetmes? Or maybe fitting the wood from a cetme kit to a ptr91?
Just got done with the gym after a hard day of poking a Jenkins black box. Gonna eat some chili and Tostitos and drink some Batangas with my wife, then watch a terrible horror movie
Reconnected with the first girl I ever dated for some coffee and we are moving in together soon. We hadn't seen each other in almost a decade and it was so much like we both remembered that it just took off from there. Maybe the dating pool in your late 20s / early 30s really does start getting dire and we both sensed that the chances to meet someone are slimming down for both of us. Maybe adult us are more compatible than teenage us were and the time apart did some good, who knows.
I'm happy and so is she and I haven't seen even a hint of anything that would disrupt what we have going.
i got ghosted by a girl again. She was super touchy and flirty after our first date, and couldnt stop offering hugs. She gave me her phone number, and we kept texting after the first date. I set up plans and made reservations at a place for a 2nd, but like 3 days before she just went silent. I am numb inside though, so i dont really care. 30yo and i guess ill just never marry or experience love. Idk
Fuck, these threads always make me feel bad because I’m convinced my life is shit but then I read other anons’ stories and realize how good I have it and it just makes me feel even worse for complaining about life.
But anyway, life is good, now that I realize. Got a job lined up as soon as I can send them my transcripts but my fucking school is taking their sweet ass time sending them even though classes ended two weeks ago, and this whole time I’m just rotting away in my bedroom biting my nails hoping my employers don’t get too impatient with me. It’s a shame because this job is like a literal dream job for me too. Pay is decent, work-life balance is great which is all I really care about, and I get to nuke stuff for a living. Only downside is I have to drop weed for the foreseeable future. I used to be a pothead junkie but I only got high like twice a month so I’m not as far gone as other potheads. But, fuck, I already miss getting high. At least I can still get drunk but I feel like my liver is twice my age from how much I’ve abused it with liquor. Another complaint is somehow I just don’t feel like going to the range recently. There’s a gun show tomorrow so hopefully it’ll reignite that spark in me and I’ll go hole punching papers soon. I miss the range here, it’s so relaxing being out there. Also I’m still a KHHV but whatever, it’s getting easier and easier to deal with. I think I’m almost done making peace with it. I probably shouldn’t pass on my genes anyway. This curse ends with me.
Thanks for the thread, OP. I really value these threads. Most of you are good men, and I want you guys to have somewhere to vent unrestricted, God knows we need it these days. Stay strong, gentlemen. God bless you all. WAGMI
>Me miserable! which way shall I flie >Infinite wrauth, and infinite despaire? >Which way I flie is Hell; my self am Hell; >And in the lowest deep a lower deep >Still threatning to devour me opens wide, >To which the Hell I suffer seems a Heav'n.
eh okay finally got a torched VZ.61 receiver so I can finally finish the kit. Still have not shot any my guns in months I really need to go its been to long.
>getting my grandfather honored with a congressional gold medal >mended relationship with my family >moving to the midwest soon with friends >know I have people who love and care for me >have most of the guns I've ever wanted
Not great. I have severe hyperacusis. Lifelong but much worse in the past five years (not from guns, just how I was born). So I'm living a half-life, in the pleasant gilded cage of my parents' house, doing nothing and going nowhere because every sound hurts.
So I guess this is my appeal to you to protect your fucking ears. Wear hearing protection when you shoot guns! You do not want tinnitus or hyperacusis. Either will destroy your life and make you want to have a nice day.
As divorces go, if you are talking it over and figuring things out, that's... better than getting your hand forced into something worse. I know a few people who rebuilt after divorces, including one involving kids, and went on to be happy. It can be done.
>As divorces go, if you are talking it over and figuring things out, that's... better than getting your hand forced into something worse. I know a few people who rebuilt after divorces, including one involving kids, and went on to be happy. It can be done.
Thanks anon.
I'm almost done with my degree, which is good, but my folks think that this is my last semester so idk how I am gonna tell them that. I'm probably just gonna do a good news bad news that my guidance counselor screwed with me, but I'm not in for much longer. Honestly though, I'm pissed. I spent my early 20s in fucking school because I suck at school. I can't help feeling like it is wasted time, even though I know it isn't cause a STEM degree is still pretty valuable. All in all, my problems suck but they aren't insurmountable, just gonna suck pulling the proverbial bandaid off.
>Making 70k a year >parents are turning 75+ >turning 30 this year >parents are $130k in debt >never passed college >live with parents >overweight >No near year prospects of significant others >livin near DMV so cost of living is rising $5000 a year
Not so bad. Scared of the prospects of future medical costs for parents but I'm taking college classes again cause I really need that paper.
Doing okayish, got a warehouse monkey job that pay pretty decently, will help pay for a small appartment when I restart my studies, I'm going to gunsmithing school. I still feel like shit because I had to drop out of basic because of a fucked up knee. Overall life goes on and I'm going along with it
had to shoot dogs on deployment, didn't like doing it but I didn't think much of it at the time
now every time I hear my new puppy crying or I hear dogs going nuts down the road I get really anxious and feel an adrenaline rush and my wife says I act extremely irritable and angry
Am I just a pussy? wtf bros
No that sounds horrible man sorry you had to do that. You should probably take the time and resources to get 5+ doggos, raise them well, and then one day just lay in a green field and let them dogpile you. Very therapeutic. I plan to do that but indoors with like 5+ kittens. Trick is to get them all in the same litter or get them associated extremely early.
>Am I just a pussy? wtf bros >had a traumatic experience with animals and now said animals trigger a response from you
you're just human, anon. that's how our brains work, for better or worse.
if it wasn't natural then it wouldn't happen so predictably. you care about your dogs and you know why this reaction happens, so I think you'll be able to manage with it somehow
I guess I just didn't expect this of all things to fuck with me. The dogs we shot were rabid/potentially rabid and a health and safety risk to us, so I had a way to justify it to myself whenever we did it, but still.
There have been points in my career/life where I've held guns on people and I know that if I had pulled the trigger I wouldn't give a single fuck about it afterwards. I guess dogs just don't know what they're doing or why they're acting the way they do, and I feel worse about killing something that doesn't have the capacity to knowingly act like a prick or understand what it's doing is wrong
>. I guess dogs just don't know what they're doing or why they're acting the way they do, and I feel worse about killing something that doesn't have the capacity to knowingly act like a prick or understand what it's doing is wrong
well it's plain to see you have a genuine love of dogs.
I'm not going to say "don't worry about it", because humans can't help but worry about things they care about, even if there's a whole list of justifications for certain actions.
What you did crossed a personal line to you, and I think the fact it stills eats at you says a lot about your integrity and decency. Hopefully time will help you overcome this particular pain.
You're reading way too much into it. A way to look at this is imagine yourself as a rancher with sheep. A coyote comes along one night and jumps one. Do you kill the coyote before it kills your sheep? you would only be shooting that coyote because it's inconveniencing you just like the stray dogs on deployment were.
>Am I just a pussy? wtf bros >had a traumatic experience with animals and now said animals trigger a response from you
you're just human, anon. that's how our brains work, for better or worse.
if it wasn't natural then it wouldn't happen so predictably. you care about your dogs and you know why this reaction happens, so I think you'll be able to manage with it somehow
I might wasted my entire future on a degree I don't want, on a job I don't want, with a possibly permanent lame foot after a fall, but you know what? I'm content as fuck. I have friends, I have my family, I even have boards and forums of terminally online retards. Life's too short to care anyway.
Your video is unavailable unfortunately. Weird. I recognize that song from another thread a couple months ago. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NPj7ySDWVQc
Stuck in a limbo where I’m fucking my ex fiancée and we go out and do couples stuff but we’re not actually together. We enjoy each other’s company but I still don’t know how to feel about this. It’s definitely better than being alone
I'm trapped in a bad graduate program overseen by inept administrators and have burnt out so completely that not even a glow remains. My advisor and I have been in a death spiral of mutual disappointment and failure for more than a year and we're reaching the center of the spiral. Morale is low among nearly all the other graduate students in this program but I'm one of like two people that are domestic students so the rest of them are ready to put up with anything and everything to keep their visas long enough to either graduate or find a local spouse. The policies in this program seem to have been designed with that in mind. I don't want to kill myself but I wouldn't mind dying.
I'm doing pretty good. Weekend to myself, woman out of town. Just got paid. Drinking, grilling, might hit the range with the FAL and PTR tomorrow. Need to verify the FAL is functional after repair and zero the aimpoint comp m4s on the PTR. >LARP as a Rhodesian soldier or a Portuguese marine.
Life is tolerable.
I joined the Army for le camaraderie and le brotherhood and all that nonsense. Now it's 5 years later and all I have is constant anxiety over not doing enough and not being good enough. Most of the people I met were two-faced or took advantage of my naïvete. I learned some harsh lessons but boy did it hurt to get there. Every time I got promoted the expectations got higher and so did the stress. I'm in a "high speed" position as a recon/sniper SL but aside from a couple enjoyable days a year it's just even more work and anxiety.
The relationships I had before joining all dissolved. My peers and coworkers don't really like me, and outside of work I have no social life whatsoever. I don't drink or party so I automatically don't hang out with 90% of the people in my unit anyway. The few friends I made along the way all ETS'd, PCS'd, or we drifted apart. I suck at LDR so I'd go from seeing someone daily to texting them twice a year.
I've never had a girlfriend and probably never will. Something in my brain isn't wired right for connecting with other people. When I talk to women they always seem to flinch for a second after making eye contact with me, and even if I have an okay conversation with someone she'll get a scared or disgusted look on her face if it seems like I'm about to touch her. I don't know what it is and I'm tired of trying to figure it out. My internal clock says that it's Make A Family O'Clock and I need that particular alarm to stop ringing all the time.
I should go to church, but I have a lot of hangups from my Mormon upbringing and fear choosing a denomination that might be hiding nasty surprises like what I grew up with. I went to Divine Liturgy a couple times and really enjoyed it, but now I'm deployed and the closest EO church is dozens of miles and a signed pass away and isn't in my language besides.
Anyway. Blogpost over. Back to my duty shift.
It's time for you to ETS or PCS as well, my man. If you were in it for the long haul but don't want to see all that time served go to waste, go Reserves or Guard. Might require an MOS change but just about every unit would take a high speed former Recon/Sniper even if the new MOS has absolutely nothing to do with combat arms.
Bad, I'm stuck in a life I don't want, no skills, no job opportunities, no friends, no money, no family.
What little family I do have hates me, or sabotaged me up until this point, and now expects me to be some uber successful billionaire with no way to actually do that because I was prevented from learning anything that could help me. Since I know nobody I can't get a decent job or an apprenticeship anywhere, so my only option is to take a shit tier low income job and work for retards who can't even do the work they demand of me till I die.
My only way out of this was military service, but it's looking like I have asthma so the only chance I had at getting out of this shit is shot as I cannot make an cardio gains no matter what I do.
parents are divorcing, brother is a retarded thug that does coke and mistreats my parents and fucks up the house, parents are retarded and keep letting him come back at home even tho it's been 3 years since he started behaving like that, insulting then, not going to school, being a hum, assaulting my father etc, I'd kill him and often think about stabbing him in the neck when he's there next to me but never do it because it would ruin my life for legal reasons.
have 0 friends, just a couple ex friends that I'm trying to get back contacts with even tho I dont enjoy going out with them very much but I need to go out to meet new people and that's a start.
parents are doubly retarded because they make good money and yet cant pay bills because they have no savings and keep spending money for restaurants and vacations.
father asked me 1000 euros to pay bills, will give it back next month.
gf left me 3 months ago, now she's on vacation in another country to stay with a guy she met this summer and it's guaranteed they'll fuck, (they have already done it before this)
often times I dont want to do stuff and just waste my time on the phone or on games, but I read alot and I started working out again even tho I have to force myself to work out and it's a slog
at least I got a well paying job in a "rare" field, and I like it, it's ok, but I've been here just 3 months and got no prior experience so I got to consolidate my position.
hope I can go away from this country in the future thanks to the job.
I have no fun in my life, no one to talk to, no one to make things lighter, I'm always burdened by these things and almost never take some "time off" from feeling this way, I know how it would feel because when I still had a gf I felt good when I was with her, but she left me because I has become a grey hull, a boring depressed and sometimes aggressive person, i understand her choice
sometimes I go innawoods hiking.
I'm planning to go on an organized hike to try to meet some people
Work on getting US citizenship thru the job if you can, the gf wasn't yours you were just renting, find somebody else when you're out. The hike is a good thing, but your parents and brother are a lost cause.
>us citizenship
that's one of my life goals, to come to the us, and with this job it might actually be possible, it all changed in a short amount of time, went from being in university being a depressed fag about to drop out and not giving any exams to randomly landing this job, idk what would've happened if I didn't, nothing good, I would've probably been a failure wagecuck, anyway shouldn't celebrate too early, I've been here just 3 months and I still havent solved any of my problems.
in my worst moments in the past i was seriously thinking about killing myself, I 99% wouldn't have done it but I kept imagining myself as dead shit in the head as relief from my condition
btw psychologist are useless, I went there for a long time and it never helped, even got prescribed pills for depression and they were useless, anyway I don't think I'm medically depressed, my condition is an emotional one so to speak
You need to get away from your family dude, like you don't have to cut them off completely but you definitely need to move out. That kind of atmosphere is only fucking you up.
I agree but I wanted to stay for the first year to save some money, otherwise of I go living along ill burn like 60% of my income, plus renting is a waste since I'm never home
>and I started working out again even tho I have to force myself to work out and it's a slog
That's the thing, you have to find something you like. I ride my bike. I always tell people that if I take 5 days off and come back to it, the first hill is hell. I will walk up it. Whereas that week streak of riding at least every other day, I'd just ride up it. Even if you like doing whatever it is when you work out, if you slack on it, it will fuck you hard and it will make it difficult to want to get back into it.
i don't know if i've become numb to the pain of life or if i turned into an actual bloomer
the last decade i was a doomer, everything was depressing and i wanted to die, now i feel like if i die my purpose has not been fulfilled
i'm so close to having my own business, i find beauty and understanding in everything and i dedicate an hour of my time every day to learning something new whether it's botany, biology or making something
i've become such a minimalist too, i've let go of a lot of things, being lonely sucks sometimes but it's nice too because there's less to worry about
overall, i feel like i've got purpose, and that's a nice feeling to have
Really wish I had a girlfriend but now that I'm no longer in college and work a 9-5 wageslave job it seems impossible to meet women in my age range that are single/looking for a relationship. And no, I will not use apps like tinder, they're filled with the types of women I do not want to have a relationship with
Online dating, unironically. You have to sift through a lot of losers but it works if you put effort into it. Otherwise you'll have to try to meet people the old fashioned way and that's not easy
Really wish I had a girlfriend but now that I'm no longer in college and work a 9-5 wageslave job it seems impossible to meet women in my age range that are single/looking for a relationship. And no, I will not use apps like tinder, they're filled with the types of women I do not want to have a relationship with
same for me, I got no friends so I never am in the contexts where you can meet people, and also girls, thus it's a self perpetuating situation.
I'm trying tinder, tried for a couple months now, got some matches but they either never answer back or answer once and then ghost, but I've heard in other countries tinder is more fertile ground, while here it's not, idk if its true tho
Finished my third year of college and have been heavily regretting wasting my GI Bill on my IT degree. Went into it cause its what I did in the Marines but I realized too late that I dont actually give a fuck about IT. I only liked it cause it was with people I liked and a job that felt important. Tried doing IT in a corporate envornment and I wanted to kms. I'm too far into the degree now to change so I decided to pick up a minor in music technology and sound design to keep some sanity. Found out I really love working in recording studios. On top of all that I lost both my grandparents in less than 6 months and my Mom has been showing signs of age. I'm too afraid to move far away from her cause she wasnt able to see her own parents when they died and I dont wanna have that happen to me. I'll figure it out eventually, but man it sucks
doing my shit at work, but waiting to see if come july if myself or my manager are getting laid off
getting laid off will suck big time
my manager getting laid off will also suck big time, he's literally the only reason half my team even is still here, and makes work pretty great; meanwhile the micro managers they want to replace them with will make me want to kill myself
Doin alright, I got a medical marijuana card to deal with my horrible anxiety but those fucking garden gnomes tricked me and now I can't buy any guns. At least I've got pot.
I'm doing training for my job at this new company but they're retarded and it's all disorganized and we spend half the time doing nothing because they didn't organize for shit and there is no structure to the training, like for example we went to another country to make some training with the company guys there, and they didn't even know why we had come there because our side of the company didn't tell them we were there for training, pretty strange since it's a fuckhuge multinational Corp, I expected them to be well organized.
so it'll take a lot to learn shit.
plus to do everything you have tk ask to an hr bitch who is retarded and always says to ask someone else that then says it's not his responsibility and to ask someone else etc
anyway they pay alot and once I learn the skills I will likely be able to be easily employed and also paid well, and also move country, so I accept the retardation
>since it's a fuckhuge multinational Corp, I expected them to be well organized.
The more people that need to communicate, especially across distinct groups, the less organized you can expect it to get. Om the bright side, it's easy to disappear in a clusterfuck, meaning easy paychecks and some freedom in how you get your job done.
Hopefully, anyway.
gf has a chilhood trauma and is disgusted and repulsed by sex. I always thought that she didn't want to have sex because she was christian, i feel kinda like asshole now. Worse is that she hates herself for not liking sex or any physical stuff for that matter
Well, I'm falling behind on the vocational schooling I'm doing to get into programming, my antidepressants are less effective than they were, and the insomnia is exacerbated by stress. Only got guns in my dreams, multiple surprise bills this month, first girl i like in years wants to fuck my mate but not me, the boys are drifting apart slowly but surely, my body is failing me and it's getting awfully warm already.
Just gotta hang in there. Just gotta get there.
We're all gonna make it, right?
Eh, I'm doing alright
I got some ruskie friends trying to avoid being conscripted while I got pole and Slovak friends to worry about if those retards over in Russia try to escalate shit further
Besides worrying about shit that can't be controlled, doing fine beyond that, autistically thinking on some milshit scenario in a House of Leaves type setting since I'm currently reading up on that and playing some DOOM 2 Hideous Destructor on that MyHouse.wad map
Hope you bastards are having a good rest of your day as well, wherever the hell you all are
yeah
Dieing.
Tired. Physically tired, I mean. Now I shall slumber.
Sending thots & prayers.
>going to sleep at 6:30 in the morning
do people really?
>hopefully hostilities end soon
Why? That would deprive us of good combatkino. If we're lucky, it lasts another 5 years at minimum.
very edgy.. until you actually know people that died its all a game
Welcome to PrepHole, kiddo. If you think what I said was anywhere close to edgy, perhaps reddit.com/r/ukraine is more your speed. I come here to laugh at burning slav bodies, both Russian and Ukrainian. It makes me laugh to know a bunch of worthless retards are dying over nothing.
you are trying far too hard
You have to go back
>PrepHole
Oh, look a newfag. Always a displeasure
If were lucky, Chinks kick off operation deyankefication taiwan.
They we'll see some REAL combat footage, not slav(e)shit LARP shoah bullshit
Nah son, that shits gay. You wanna drop some real ordinance, not those clean-up crew cherry bombs. Where's the fucking gopro urban combat? Where can I find more BMPs skipping 30mm across the pavement? It's just janitors doing thier fucking job. Yes I'm mad, stupid pricks like you deserve one of those frags square on the nuts with no secondary.
I fucking hate this useless gay brotherwar and i'm not even slightly concerned (except my taxes go into Ukraine ofc). Those images are god awful, Putin, Zelensky, Biden, Macron and all the reste are god awful. The whole thing is lame and disgusting. Fuck them all.
What fucking brother war?
Russians believe they and Ukraine are brother nations (aka triune people). Which is a big tipoff that op has putin's cock down his throat.
>Which is a big tipoff that op has putin's cock down his throat.
That guy isn't me.
No one would dispute this. Half of them speak the same language and the other half basically do. Russians and Ukrainians are like Scots and Celts. Americans and Canadians. Spanish and Portuguese.
It's a holiday today so I'm feeling good. Gonna get drunk later
im still patriotic, you have to support our guys. but things are clearly difficult. hopefully hostilities end soon its better for everyone
I respect the US military far more than the government
You know soldiers are not typically the liberal types either
Soldiers, law enforcement.
Often physically fit and faithful in God.
Prayer will keep your head in a good place.
Every day, praying, even just for mercy.
God bless.
If Ukraine is doing good, then I’m doing even better! Slava Ukraine!
yookraine is lost moron, like BTFO, the hohol diaspora will be crying tears of hoholdomor 2.0 for centuries to come.
Couldnt have happen to a better bigger scumbag of a ~~*(nation*~~ and ~~*people*~~ , honestly.
I just wish n00ks were real so the kremlin could finish it off with glassing kqweef
Wow I bet you think you’re so funny don’t you vatnik
Ukraine is finally on the attack, I found a cute chubby gf that cooks, vatniks and chinks are getting btfo left and right, life is beautiful and amazing.
look up retard
Seethe
If they lose I will
Great. Every day we get more dead slavs from the endless Slav Slaughter, the Blood God is appeased, and Polacks remain seething. I hope this war never ends.
I hear the boys in the kremli-la-krem are prepping a little retaliation for western yurope.
Hopefully it'll appease your blood god even more.
God you're pathetic.
There is no god, ya free masonic asshole
>I hear the boys in the kremli-la-krem are prepping a little retaliation for western yurope.
Those gabby motherfuckers should quit squawking like old ladies and get on with it then.
Yes
It doesn't matter where the blood flows, only that it flows from Ork lands
BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GODS
SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE
Great. I've got vacation coming up, married life is good. Got a bunch of suppressors in the works and just about to finish my gun collection.
>He thinks you "finish" a gun collection.
I'm still here so at least there's that.
You literally don't have any real problems in your life, dork. Be man. Give up the cartoons and the video games, find a girl, get a job, grow up.
Thanks for the pep talk, pops.
Not him, but I spent the equivalent of $20k dollars on a degree I'm failing, I don't have enough money to redo the year. My wife has had 5 miscarriages in the last two years, my marriage is breaking up, I hate my job and my job hates me so that's probably not gonna last and I've had to sell a bunch of stuff and remortgage the house just to keep afloat, I'm sick from service related shit and can't afford the medical bills.
I think I'm seriously just going to shoot myself. Like seriously. It's not a joke. I made this thread so someone would ask me, but nobody did.
The only thing keeping me going is the little guy in the OP. If anything happened to him I don't know what I'd do. My life is a failure and I wish I was dead.
Please overdose on heroin instead, we don't need another one for the gun death statistics. Even though we all know that's bullshit and going out with your own firearm is one of the inalienable rights we all have.
OP, I hope you learn something today. You gotta put it out there. You can't just wait for someone to ask. I made that mistake like 9000 times when I was younger. It's good you made this thread man. Don't let the system grind you down, even if you go bankrupt, that's what it's trying to do. Don't let it.
Never surrender. Let them kill you if they dare, but don't do it yourself.
You have to keep going man. It's better for a candle to burn twice, triple as fast than to get snuffed or never burn at all.
I'll vent my first worls problems I guess
>work at at a hospital in a poor area
>low pay, garbage clientele, can't leave this place for another year
>see lunatics on public transit every day, completely normalized in the social fabric somehow
I need some healthcare for myself man.
>My life is a failure!!1!
>Has a wife, job, and house
Shut the fuck up you stupid moron.
>service related shit
have a nice day, ZOGbot. It's the only way to redeem yourself.
If your disability isn’t too bad then try to get back in through the National Guard. They pay all tuition for most state universities via the minuteman scholarship, you get your tricare back (which on the part time side is barely above $150 w/ dependents) and you can try to get an MOS that correlates to a real CIV job. They’re also giving fat bonuses to Reservists now so you could maybe leverage that. Don’t give up just yet, things aren’t as bad as they seem.
It's never too late to turn it all around anon. Take the trouble to struggle for a better future. This life is perpetual struggle. Don't leave your wife and doges alone. We may never know each other, anon, but I want you to know I'm sending you good thoughts and love.
I dunno, 5 miscarriages is a sign that he should kill himself and his wife.
lol what a failed couple
Poor tasteless trolling 0/10 for effort.
A miscarriage is sth that can break a tough guy.
Keep going brother.
Start with yourself morongay.
I'm not the one with broken balls.
Maybe if he vaxxedand taken his boosters this wouldnt have happened
>The 4chanmoron is a spiteful loser who can't even troll
Quelle surprise
Who said I'm trolling?
Off yourself first you subhuman scum.
Anon, if you are real:
Do not try to "eat the elephant". Embrace autism and document your issues as individual problems with things that are causing them.
Degree: what is it, and have you communicate to your school what is going on?
Wife: Communicate and determine if the relationship is salvageable, just listen and document what her biggest stressors are, ask directly, do not try to solve them in that conversation.
Job: You know its bad, if you can relocate do so. Just fucking start applying.
Stuff and house: If it is too expensive, it is a hot coal you are trying to hold onto.
If you want actual help from the thread:
What is your job? Not where you work, just, what is your skillset?
Are you willing to move?
Are you prior military?
And Anon, if you aren't real, and are just trying to be a downer. Fuck yourself, but also this will serve as an example of people who are capable of still caring, so you still did some good. Entropy will never stop, but neither will creation.
Dogs save lives anon. Treat the pupper well and he'll treat you well. Do it for him. You are going through an extremely unlucky time of your life, but that doesn't mean that you'll be unlucky forever. If you get past this, then you'll be better for it.
You get one life. The chance to do it right is always there (Unless you REALLY fuck up).
I can attach my email if you want to talk G
"It's only after we've lost everything that were free to do anything"
Pretty dog. Don't have a nice day until he dies (naturally!); or, if you must, at least make sure someone responsible will take care of him after.
My childhood dog died lately. I think he was the only thing I've ever truly cared about. Funny. He didn't actually care for me too much.
lol
>Guy is literally about to suicide
>This liberal mentally ill gay is worried about his dog
Ask me how I know youre a white leftist scumbag.
>I made this thread so someone would ask me, but nobody did.
You're getting the (You)s now, good and bad. Make the most of it, people tend to think about their self, even you right? You made this thread for yourself not out of any genuine concern for the wellbeing of others. You clearly stated that, so don't get upset nobody shined light on you.
Fight through it and take what you need to make yourself more comfortable. You can do it.
Hang in there, my dude!
Things might seem tough now, but they will get better. You need to power through the tough times and keep going.
I failed out of college essentially THREE times. Yet I kept going back and plan on graduating this semester. Never give up and don't fear failure. It's something essentially we all gotta deal with.
You'll make it through to better times.
Just don't be the one that defeats yourself. Support yourself. Get some more good food and sleep.
Wish I had some advice to give you but I don’t unfortunately. Your dog is cute though. I hope it works out for you somehow, anon. If you live through this, you’ll have one hell of a story to share
I went back to school as well anon to change careers. Put in the time and effort to do well anon it’s possible. Do not give up just because things are tough right now.
>too poor to complete degree
Get loan, preferably from your family
>wife miscarried 5 times
Dude just go for artificial insemination, you should have went for that after the 2nd time
>going to kill myself
I know it's hard but calm down and think about it. You should try and exhaust all possible options before you do something so drastic. Have faith and keep trying.
sorry man, that's a lot of wrong assumptions. If I'm not twice your age I'll be surprised.
>trade one set of problems for three other sets
great advice broski
You all need to give up on this whole not being in pain thing. I don't get you people.
Like what the fuck do you think you're supposed to be doing here in the suffering pit?
Doing decently well. I’m improving my shooting with my RMR I just need to get a more consistent draw stroke so I pick it up every time it comes out of the holster.
Honestly? Not too great
I hope it's all just memes, but I'm really unhappy to see that all we have left to pick as leadership nowadays is either a based and trad (but incompetent) one vs a hypercompetent (but globohomo) one
>vs a hypercompetent
did you just describe Joe "don't underestimate Joe's ability to fuck everything up" Biden as competent?
I have heard many adjectives used for Joe Biden. Competent has never been one of them. Even Obama, the guy who picked Biden for VP, thought he was a perennial fuck up.
>crippling anxiety, self consciousness and insecurity
>multiple health issues in my 20s
>the underclasses are about to start rioting in the streets
Not fucking good
Why don't you just have a nice day (not with a gun, preferably)
Be a man.
I'm perpetually one disaster away from not being able to keep a roof over my son's head, so that's fun. His mom is bipolar and it's getting worse recently. Sometimes we hate each other, other times we're as in love as when we first started dating. The big family support system that we moved back out to the c*ty for doesn't actually show up.
But our son is healthy and happy, we have a one-year plan to get back to the small town we met in where I'm already talking to employers who can pay at least what I'm making here and the cost of living is lower.
Tl;dr could be better; could be worse
Hope your family sticks it out and is able to find some stability. Glad your son is doing okay.
Thanks anon
Do you happen to have an idea of places to start looking? I'm reading a few articles here and there
My wife is bi polar, it sucked at first, I researched a lot about it and over time I was able to handle her. Some times when she has an episode, it's just best to walk away because no matter what you say and do it won't mean jack shit.
Best of luck to you, keep at it and you'll make it through it.
God speed anon. My family is feeling the financial difficulty as well.
My dad is in bad health, so I'm responsible for earning enough money for the household
He probably won't die before I'm in my 40's
I wanted a career (which would require me to move to a bigger city)
I wanted to travel the world
Whatever, I'm tired
>I'm responsible for earning enough money for the household
Are you though? Why would you spend your life taking care of someone who already spent theirs?
We found out yesterday that I screwed something up 8 months ago. Just emailed someone the wrong file. Woops :-/
Body recomposition is going well for me. I've been lifting for years but I've had the discipline to eat better so i could ditch the skinnyfat look. Hopefully I'll look better before my trip to Rome in July so I could get some Italian poon.
*I've never had
I wouldn't worry about it, the amount of fat hairy bastards hung with gold chains you see with petite girls on Italian beaches is through the roof. Dimorphism at work.
P good. In the process of moving into an apartment with gf and simultaneously switching to a tech job. Stressful but our new couch is coming tomorrow and my recruiter says the manager thinks I’m “very bright.” So the worst is probably over.
I feel like I'm breaking in half
I think it's time to admit to myself that I have a drug problem.
What's your vice anon?
I'm listening
I lost my tech job and make 16 dollars at walmart now because I was retarded and had zero savings. The hunt for a new better job been going on for almost 6 months now. Dozens of interviews, retarded surveys and hr being morons. Moved into families garage with my wife and daughter because cant make rent. now my family wants rent for the fucking garage and I think they are about to threaten to kick us out. Its infested with ants and I have to sleep on the floor because the wife and baby take the bed. On top i am being audited by the irs and they want 9k for some dumb fucking reason. A tax lawyer would cost me 5k. I dont know whats going recently but I just roll with the belief that God wants to test and humble me and things will improve eventually. If my family kicks us out I will have no option but to take a night shift job somewhere to pay for a motel or something. I am not making this shit up.
keep looking forward. We will all make it eventually and God bless.
Everyone here in Germany is trying to hire murrican it professionals affected by the layoffs, do you seriously can't find a new job?
NTA but IT is shifting in a weird way in the US. I had never gotten unsolicited recruiter emails before this year. I have an MS in informatics and learned a ton of different IT things as a necessity. There seems to be more demand for high level niche stuff now
I think sooner later something comes around but the hiring process in the US is vastly different compared to germany. I lived in germany for 20 years and got my ausbildung there before we moved back to the states. I was born in Wiesbaden.
In germany a good arbeitszeugnis and not being a total retard usualy lands you a job in 2-4 weeks. Here in the US its at least 3 interviews, reference check, background check, assessment (center)s and a drug test. Its stupid retard and somehow HR departments love to send you some moron myers briggs personality test before even your first interview.
To add before I worked remote for a large german "IT-Systemhaus" but even higher german salaries pale in comparission to what you can make in the US. In addition its a fucking pain in the ass to file your taxes here if you have any sort of overseas income or bank accounts. Even if you file your fbars and all the shit properly the irs is constantly giving you shit. So I left them to work for a US company which laid me off with a bunch of other people. Basically they fired based on time with the new company and the new ones were the first to let go. I inquired at the german company if they consider rehiring me but my spot is already taken and honestly I think their HR cbb dealing with all the arbeitsrecht crap hiring some dude to work remote from the US
Godspeed.
Became a dad 36h ago. As the baby was born, 2 other women were rushed in, which preoccupied the 2 nurses. The doc asked me:" Got a tough stomach? We need to sew your wife up a little and I need a third hand"
Guy was from somewhere in the Levante. Really good stitches. Wife is fine and walking.
Healthy boy 50cm 3,4kgs for the burgers:length is how every AR barrel should be 20" and weighs a little less than an unloaded AK.
To all guys out there with money problems':
Been there. Unfucked my spending, stuffed the biggest drains. Which meant no eating out, no bs Impulse purchases and switching jobs to one within biking distance.
Have a good friend that can't find his place in life yet. Told him that I never want to inherit on of his guns. Hope he never gives in.
Congrats Anon!!
Thanks.
Snapped you guys a little motivational picture.
If I can do it and unfuck what lies in my power, than you can do it too.
Sometimes i just want to sleep and never wake up,I'm having a nerveus tip in my left eyes for weeks now.
Nice,remenber to start given him nerf toys
😀 I'm happy for you anon. I wish your wife a swift recovery
It's white and disgusting.
Kill that little racist before it grows up.
(You)
I hope (You) die asap, monkey.
>If I can do it, you can too
>t. Chad
Fucking based anon! I'm happy for you and your wife.
not good at the moment fellas. I'm between moving apartments, I bought a motorcycle on Tuesday and Tuesday night it got stolen before i could even register it. losing my shit this is terrible
Wife just peed a positive pregnancy test yesterday after literally "Trying" one time. Both in a little bit of shock that it happened so quickly but things are good and we are as ready as we can be. Wish me luck as a 1st time dad if all goes well. Can't tell friends or family yet so I'm telling the kommandos.
Make more if she's that fertile m8
Congratulations anon, always try to be the best dad you can be.
I'm happy for you anon.
If you're reading this I have put a cures on you and your wife, your child will have severe vaxx autism and will be infertile.
>Wife just peed a positive pregnancy test yesterday after literally "Trying" one time.
nice humble brag about your +P+ loads, anon. congrats
Congrats, fren
Good work anon
I went schizo last year and lost my job. I've gotten fat since then with new medications, but I have a new job and I'm about to visit my long distance gf (who I broke up with because I thought she was a Chinese spy last year before she took me back). Things are going okay.
Pretty well, just got some good news at work and ordered a gun part I’ve been wanting a while.
Feel great, and the more vatnik I see killed, the better I feel!
Better, thanks for asking.
I'm having my ups and downs and I just hit a major down again, but I'm overall on an upward trajectory, so I'm confident I will be fine in a few months time
Finishing up physical therapy after had three disks in my neck replaced. Cleared to return to work next month. Not sure if I want to, it's been two years and my friend offered me a similar job for similar pay. My mom still sleeps on my couch and has been regressing. Hopefully things work out.
This smoky air from the fires in Canada are killing my vibe
I've come to hate humanity a little more
If I was still in grade school I'd shoot it up.
My country is crumbling all around me.
Kinda lonely tbh. Not that that's unusual but I don't really know how to make friends outside of places where I'm compelled to interact with the same people on a regular basis so I just kinda don't. If anything I'm more bothered by my parents being concerned over me being alone more than I am by actually being alone. Otherwise pretty good, though.
Are you me? I'm considering volunteering or something but I don't know where or for what.
Terrible just like the last ten years, every time i leave the house I only see ugly misshapen brown people, ugly neighborhoods filled up with ugly brown people and dysgenic mullatos that share none of my values or culture. I make no money.
My circumstances are on the edge of a knife and i see no point in trying to improve them. I have no friends, i dont leave the house. i dont drink or smoke weed i just get home from work and blast jazz and read PrepHole and twitter without posting anything, week after week year after year. My life is utterly meaningless and a case study on how a white male can be 100% demoralized without feeling the need to kill themselves
~~*They*~~ did this to us. Only miningful road is leaving brown hell, find a good woman, father children, embrace faith, work and hope for better future.
death tapped me on the shoulder today, wish he just pulled the trigger
Kinda of pissed that my split request was denied considering they had 4 months to figure this out so now I'm fighting with airlines and hotels to get my money back. I was really looking forward to that trip.
Nursing a sickness. Nothing major but still feel like shit. I want to get back to my forge. I miss it already and it's only been a few days.
Just got my wisdom teeth pulled and I'm waiting to get medically cleared for meps.
Praying I can land Forward Observer or Security. I did really well on the ASVAB. Things are looking up for me.
Lost my job and looking for work. I don't have enough experience to do what I want and it's what I keep hearing when anyone bothers to say anything. I'm looking for junior positions but honestly, I just don't know what I want to do. Still, sending out as many applications as I can. My old employer is dragging their feet on giving me paperwork so I can get unemployment, which is stressful. It just all feels like I can't catch a break. It's exhausting and I'm starting to get desperate. But I'm trying not to let it get to me.
Keep applying, no matter what. Fuck those people who ghost you and fuck the people who say no, it only takes one to say yes.
Thanks man. And thanks to the other anons in here looking to help others. It means something.
Congrats man, kids are the best. Treat him right and always make him your priority.
Don't give up man. Consider rethinking what you want to do. Maybe you will be happier starting over with a new career, hard as that sounds. You can make it man.
War has always been in my mind. Troubled childhood and such. But this war has warped my mind. I've been paying attention to Ukraine for years but mostly just thought, "huh, people should pay attention to this, this could be big". Years later as an adult I am knowledgeable than most, and incapable of action. Moral of the story is be practical and work within your circle of influence, don't be like me and have your brain too far in the world of ideas. I wish I could help through work than anything else, but can't.
Middling for the most part, except my job which I really really enjoy. It doesn't pay well, but I get to work outdoors with very nice people.
Would be nice if I had more time and energy over outside of work to improve other aspects of my life. Got family members that need a lot of help and support though.
Have Covid but am staying strong by shooting in ranges
Thankful for our great leaders and the military might of the West.
High morale knowing that the enemies of liberal democracy are being destroyed as we speak.
lol get a load of this psychotic liberal piece of delusional shit
Based.
>da jooooos!
>not realizing he just wants ukraine to be heavily defended just like israel
powering through severe depression by putting my nose to the grindstone, starting a new career and realizing nothing makes me happy anymore even though I have a loving wife and a happy family
just keep powering through it and trying to be the best man I can be
To be honest, things are ok.
My personal sitation is that i have cold feet, but i can't be arsed to get up and put on socks. I'll run 8km later, my daily amount.
I'm out of a job, but have almost no trouble with it. I got money for decades and no desire to work again.
Wife died a few years ago, children are out of the house.
I shitpost a lot.
Globally i think the planet is fucked, but i'm almost 50 and don't need it for only maybe 30 more years.
I have no trouble with Russia, almost all Nations that started a war since about 1900 has lost, so will Russia and later China. They will try again, obviously.
I don't see the western decline so many third worlders speak about. The west is more united and stronger than ever.
They say you have to judge a man not by what he dislikes, but what he likes. I like rule of law, personal freedom and liberal democratic governments. So do most people, even in shitholes. So yes, i think everything is fine.
Except that we fuck up the planet right now. The insect bio mass in Germany has dropped by 70% since the 80ies. That tells you where it's going.
Consider picrel. These are our adversaries.
fucking dreadful, as usual. I've been suicidal for most of my life and yet—surprise of surprises given the fact that I'm writing this despite a life of suicidal idealisation—the conversion rate of suicidal thoughts to actual suicides is disappointingly low.
Just wish those silly animal pics worked and I could just not wake up. Often though about some Goldburg machine that would randomly trigger within a preset window whilst you're sleeping and kill you instantly. Damn that'd be good.
Health problems and stress catching up to me. Doctors can't figure out what is wrong.
Every day I know I might not wake up tomorrow. It is what it is.
Exiting this torture prison is the best part anon.
Turning 24 in a couple of weeks, and I'm tired. I don't really have the motivation or incentive to do much of anything these days beyond barely staying in shape. I'm sick of life, I don't enjoy it and am not sure if I ever actually did. My country continues to circle the drain and get worse at an impressive rate, and all I can do is sit here and watch.
The amount of propaganda surrounding the Ukraine war is depressing. Every day I'm bombarded with the same rhetoric that was used to justify the 2001 afghanistan invasion and its killing me.
I'm late 20s. My life is fairly stable and good but my heart weeps for my fellow man, the state of our country, and the west as a whole. I do my best to live a life worth living and inspire others to be better despite a fairly uneventful existence. There is no savior, no messiah that can change our trajectory and it gives me hope that we will die and reemerge stronger as we shed the rot and dead weight. I know there are people like me here and a lot of you are capable, who can be better than they are now with some purpose or an actual challenge to overcome. In the face of mass demoralization your biggest goal should be to remoralize your fellow man which will feedback into you. There is only so much you can do by yourself. I could want to fight and sacrifice everything to move the needle but it would ultimately make no difference if I didn't effect change in others. You need everyone standing shoulder to shoulder making a small sacrifice of their own. My morale is irrelevant if I cannot inspire everyone else to want to inspire me.
I am doing fine, thank you for asking
Terrible, life is not going how I thought a decent person would live and I'm not "growing out," of personal problems and am coping in the most horrible ways with pure escapism instead of tackling the problems because honestly I don't know how to do that. You can do things that you think are right, but still end up completely wrong and aimless. The shame and helplessness are getting to me while I put on a facade of remaining strong, but I think I'm making it worse.
BTW not diagnosed or medicated with anything, unless you count booze.
I'm ready to shoot myself but I've felt that way since the fifth grade so it's nothing to worry about.
What about you OP?
I didn't read the thread before posting, that's pretty fucked up man.
I'm in a similar situation, I'd do it but my dog loves me too much.
Any extra details on your situation? IE what pisses you off about your job.
Just so you know, I'd kill to trade places with you.
Why?
No wife, gf, job, house, nothing. I'd take the bullshit you've described over nothing at all any day and we both know you wouldn't trade down to this either.
I haven't posted in this thread before this
I have no idea who you think I am.
>go to work
>come home
>need to do chores (pay bills, laundry, clean house, yard work
>sleep
>go to work
>rinse and repeat
Is this all there is to life?
Fuck inboard gas engine boats. The dinky blower they put in front of a single vent is the only thing that stands between you and that fate.
Of course not. There's much more to this life than the menial tasks we do every day. You can face the strange but it's going to take a radical effort on your part. Make that change even if it's frightening, anon.
To be honest, nothing really brings me joy
NTA, but you probably got smacked by the depression stick somewhere down the line, assuming you're not currently abusing alcohol or drugs. Either get on an SSRI or find something that gives you a sense of purpose; ideally do both. Sometimes shit is just genetics and neurochemistry and you need medication to move forward. Regardless, good luck with it.
Everyone feels like this. You mean to tell me that the majority of the peopulation is depressed?
>majority
No, majority is neurotypical, and everyone feels sad sometimes. Depression becomes a problem when that sadness becomes chronic, when it impacts on your daily functionality, and when it poses a risk of degenerating in a permanent sense of despair.
Well guess I was projecting. fugggg : (
I'm trying to save money to start traveling a bit more. After that idk, maybe just keep job hopping to get better and better pay. Maybe go back to school.
The good news is you understand your issue. Now, you have to work to fix that issue. I know you can do it anon. I know it.
pretty shit, but somehow in a surprisingly good mood.
I just had sex, life is good
I'm getting worse at interacting with people, I can barely function in social situations now.
I still live in a ban state, but aside from that I have everything PrepHole related I need for a while. Probably not buying any new guns until the AWB is overturned.
good luck anon.
>nowhere to shoot outside
>texas
Really? Someone blackpill me on this.
I'm not from Texas, and I haven't read up on what you're asking, but i'm bored so I'm going to shitpost/speculate.
Texas is pretty much ranches and oil fields. So all that open space you think it has? It doesn't. Somebody owns it. All the land is privately owned so you can't go shooting anywhere. My guess.
All the land is privately owned. Gotta either own land, be friends with folks who do, or obey power tripping range rules.
There's shit out in west Texas isn't there? Of course I'm not implying it's it any way easy to get to but it's still there no?
That map is partially correct. The Wait Periods slide is partially true for PA when you're talking handguns. Rifles are private or transfer (4473, BG check) as normal but handguns are 4473 plus bg check plus PA State Police form. You fill it out and if everything comes back all good you take it home as you would any other transfer. If anything you might get a "delay" like any other transfer if that.
And PA is open carry without license OK but getting in or on a vehicle is considered "concealing". Yes if you go by their definition, bicycle open carry is concealed. Yes it's fucking retarded.
Not good. Work is making me angry. New job hopefully soon.
I'm feeling pretty shitty, still recovering from a migraine. I have some Vietnamese style coffee, that helps.
At least I finally convinced work that they're a completely valid reason to call out.
Seriously, migraines are the absolute worst, I envy the people who don't get them.
I also absolutely hate range boomers. It's an outdoor range, let me shoot my fmj .308 you fucks.
On the bright side, I've just about got my lizard enclosure set up.
Feeling pretty alright. Still waiting for this war to end so I can finish writing a story about it. Other than that I'm thinking about heading out for some shootan soon at the local range but I'm waiting to see what's on my schedule.
Not great. Recently found out I have multiple sclerosis.
Anyone deal with some kind of shitty health diagnosis? How are you coping?
That sucks. MS is terrifying in how it just pops up out of nowhere on otherwise healthy people. What tipped you off enough to get checked?
It came on suddenly like you said. One day couldn't feel my legs when I woke up. Surreal.
Shrooms
I keep telling myself mom would be sad.
Perimeter trenches breached. Air support denied. Ran out of clean bandages yesterday.
I'm currently a night owl and it sucks. I want to go shooting again.
I'm bad man. I really want to come back to the frontlines, but I also want to live a normal life. Too bad my heart was broken today by a girl I fell in love with and she really feels shit for me too but has a boyfriend.
It's the middle of the night, I'm drunk and this thread is the best place to talk to someone at this time.
pic is my last trench. love you brehs
gay
Anon if you are real:
I know the feel. We can't go back to that moment, but know something. You exist in a transient moment, it is where you are most real. Do you like storms? I do. Do you like that quiet moment at night around 4am when everyone is gone but no one has woken up yet?
You found where you exist, and you are longing for it. The battlefield is one of those places, but it is not the only place. Fuck man, I've been blessed with a family but sometimes I just crave hearing the CRAM, feeling the fucking shockwaves, hearing the equipment. The dust. Is it weird to miss the dust? But Duty. I have duty, I have a mission. Its about them. If you have no "Them" you have the world around you, and duty still. You can still produce utility, make things better. The world is better with your existence, you just need to go to where you are welcomed, needed.
The normiesphere is not for fucking any of us. not anymore. Its fine, I don't need to die by my own hand. OIF-OEF will catch up with us all. Drink green tea to stave it off for a little longer though, get away from coffee and smokes.
Overseas anon, there are still duties to preform. Apply non stop, put out a hundred, put out three hundred. Go to do humanitarian work. Get out of the US, it is a comfy death trap that slowly suffocates you. Start looking for the right doors and start knocking on them; arab gulf, Indonesia, Vietnam. Doesn't even have to be war work. Go learn to do welding, HVAC, machine operation. Fuck. Don't want to do that? Take up 3d printing. Find reason to Create.
Entropy never stops, but that is what we are indoctrinated with. What they don't tell you is creation never stops either. you burned away shit to make room for new growth, now grow, do not remain barren.
Thank you my man. I actually decided to not come back to the US after Ukraine and stayed in Poland. It's kind of comfy here, but I also get eaten by nostalgia pretty often.
And I just lost 5 more brothers yesterday, they were hit by russian artillery. Shit is heavy, but as you said, I have a mission and must go on for those who already finished.
It just felt so right and so simple to be there. I don't belive in god, but I hope at least some of my brothers come out alive and not crazy after all this shit. No connections I've made in civil life are as strong as I have with them
Just finished with divorce not long ago, I got full custody of my kids, work is going amazing, I'm doing amazing for once.
>Got full custody of the kids
How? Divorce courts never let that happen
They do if mommy does heroin.
I documented everything she did wrong, took pics, saved texts, and much more. She's also been admitted a handful of times, a couple times it was not involuntarily. She didn't use to be batshit crazy, after her mom died she went down hill.
Texts are solid evidence but how in the hell did they accept photos and your documentation? Those two always get thrown out under the guise you've staged and forged.
Bitch became a hoarder towards the end of our relationship, piles of garbage chest high in her bedroom, photos of scratches and bruises she did to me when she flipped her shit along with police reports.
>I got full custody of my kids
How?
I'm doin aight
It is what it is.
Are you who you are?
Today is the day you are who you are today
Doing okay, working on a grant proposal for a research project and went to the gym. The brownoid malding over the last week alone has me covered for the rest of 2023.
Have been constipated for a long time. Drank more coffee than usual today, had more success shitting, thought back on times when it wasn't as bad and realized I was drinking way more coffee then.
6 cups and jittery as fuck. Never take your health for granted, anons.
Forever alone noguns. Everything else is good.
I dunno what it is but I've been feeling really weird as of late, closest thing I can think of is paranoia/feeling of impending doom. Really put a damper on celebrating my graduation other stuff that should give me joy. Shit's been going on for months at this point and has honestly been very debilitating, hard to focus on anything else like finding a job.
Depression hitting hard again. Took me the good part of 3 years to get back on my feet after the last major depressive episode, even found a job. Now my job has quickly eroded my sanity. It's a good thing I'm a nogun 'cause I would have already shot myself at this point.
It is fucking waaay past midnight and I can't fucking sleep, again. I'm really tired of this fucking laying in bed for three fucking hours and giving up when I hear the birds yelling again, only to take some fucking sleep med, sleep 4 hours, and be groggy, and yet again, not be able to sleep the next day.
Got a new job though, that's pretty cool.
I'll go back with uni this year.
I will turn 29 just as it begins.
Live in Europe, so I'll even get 900 € uni gibs.
Will be 32 with just a bachelor's
everyone already has a master's and is starting families, i did nothing but working shit jobs, NEETing, fapping, drawing a bit and playing vidya most of my 20s. I am also still a touchless khv.
i fucked up my life real bad....
You guys have any advice on how to salvage the shitheap that is my life?
Anon, I graduated at 32 too (34 now). My work paid for me to finish my degree online, which worked way better for me (autist) than traditional college - and I don’t owe any student loans.
I’ve already doubled what I was making, though now I have the new problem of having pole vaulted myself into a job I’m terrible at. Oh well.
Thinking of going back to school to become a psychologist, cus it’s seemingly the only thing my bad ADD/tism won’t fuck up. It’s an intimidating thought and it’ll cost a lot, so I really have to think hard about it.
I’d also really like to get hitched at some point, but I work so much it’s hard to get dates. Might move to England where I’ve got family, see if shit’s better over there.
Just gotta stay positive and think of what could be coming in the future. You’re never trapped, there’s always a way out.
>Might move to England where I’ve got family, see if shit’s better over there.
If you don't live in Liberia it is NOT better here
Wherever you are, stay there. England is not a liveable country by any means any more.
I'm in a similar boat anon. Just finished college last week at age 29. Overcame a pretty severe drinking problem and managed to get the degree in a fast and economical manner once I committed to it. This is a big improvement of course, but I still hate my life. I'm lonely as fuck and I've been burned enough times that I'm completely turned off trying to make friends/date.
I have enough energy to go to work, feed and groom myself, but I don't enjoy much of anything these days. If life got more unpleasant or difficult I'd probably just kms.
AFPC initiated a full MEB for me. Gave me an option for Legacy (30 days) or Integrated (7-10 months of VA BS)
My diagnosis is MDD. I've been in therapy for the last 2 years. Went to rehab last year for alcohol abuse. I am extremely embarassed by my failures. I am torn between fighting my separation because I dont want to admit that I am insufficient and accepting it because and I'm extremely miserable and lonely. I want to beleive that I tried my best but I'm secretly grateful for the MEB. I fucking suck at my job. I suck so bad that I've never been a crewcheif and have instead worked backshop my entire 3 years into my 6 year contract. I haven't seen my family since I joined back in 2020 because I am terrified of them knowing how poorly I am doing. I am going to get drunk and call my dad tonight because I can't do it sober.
I'm not expecting any additional disability and the thought of gaming the system disgusts me especially because I dont deserve it. 1st Sgt said to game the system but I dont feel right doing that.
I don’t know what any of that means, but as a tax paying civilian, please fleece the system. If not for you, for all the veterans like my grandpa and dad who had claims denied by the VA for what are clearly service related injuries.
Fuck ‘em. Can’t even be mad at the vet bros that do it, because I’d fucking do it too.
I dont deserve it. I got to know a lot of different veterans when I was in rehab. People who had done alot more than myself and had actually been injured, lost their families, became homeless. There are too many people like that who aren't getting help for me to accept that. I remmeber some 80 year olds care taker killed themself and the dude had no where else to go besides rehab just so he had a place to sleep and eat. Completely deaf and had no idea what was happening to him. A few weeks later his astranged son came to collect him. I'm fucking 21 and I dont need that more than he does.
You not accepting the help they’re offering doesn’t magically give the other veterans the care they need.
As sad and fucked up as it is, that’s not your fight. Take any VA bennies you can get, the only person that’s gonna look after you is yourself.
Hope this helps, anon. Wishing you all the best.
Gf got some Lion's Mane mushroom extract to help her focus. I took one and I'm feeling high. Don't think I can work today
The "attitude check" for the control tower crew at Keflavik Air Force Base, Iceland:
First Lieutenant Michael Edwards: Let's have an attitude check!
Tower crew: I hate this fucking place!
Edawrds: Let's have a positive attitude check!
Tower crew: I positively hate this fucking place!
Edwards: Let's have a negative attitude check!
Tower crew: I don't like this fucking place!
Edwards: Let's have a short attitude check!
Tower crew: Fuckit!
-Tom Clancy, Red Storm Rising
Splendid book!
I've come to the realization that I'm the kind of knuckle-dragging retard who shouldn't own guns. I realized that because holding mine while just sitting on ass behind my desk watching youtube videos gives me a feeling of confidence, masculinity, and a general boost to my mood. Not that those are bad things, but anyone who will sit there and play with a gun is clearly a knuckle-dragging retard.
I feel like shit. I live in Hungary and we are currently at the rock bottom of our post-1956 history. I have no words for my hate for Orbán, it's fucking unreal.
I'm ok
Only 112 days to go and I'm a civilian again
I'm realizing I need to man up and end my 8 year relationship with my fiancee.
After several attempts on her own life and suggesting to take time apart I'm now aware the underlying message.
She's not happy anymore.
wanna die, considering:
-grenade in mouth
-maled by bear (or bears)
-super high calibur shot gun
I want it quick really.
I'd actually rather have someone else to because I want multiple shots: 4 in the head first (side, top, mouth, and one for good measure) then the neck, then the stomach, then the dick. I suppose one will do on the head if my head is blown to smithereens. I wand a close shot in between the eyes. Yes I know I go on to much.
...I hope you are doing well.
Two things:
1. why
2. BEARS WILL EAT YOUR FUCKING LEGS WHILE YOU'RE ALIVE.
>kinky, lad.
I have $10k saved and I'm trying to get to around $40k saved for a down payment on a house.
I want to spend $10k on random shit right now. I hate my impulsiveness.
I have been completely alone for four years and the suicidal thoughts are back
My medical issues keep getting worse and each year I develop new ones
I don't think I'll last much longer to be honest, I wish I was never born
Pissed off. I'm supposed to be writing an access review query for Sailpoint but my management keeps changing the scope so I can't make any progress.
Work is getting to me. Had to be on call when they hauled a woman who had been dead for 2 weeks out of her home. I work in the American South and there was no AC in the home
Trying to forget it
Tired of living.
The only reason I haven't shot myself is the kids, plus I don't want my death to be used to puff up "gun violence" stats.
There is no rest.
A better day is not coming.
This is all there is.
I wish I'd been stillborn.
Just bought picrel as carry gun with my recent bonus for graduating academy
This month marks 2 years since my divorce and I don't miss my ex wife so that's cool. I miss my ex gf I broke up with a couple months ago though, that was for the best.
Been dating, still pretty young. Have gone on a couple of good dates lately and possibly have found someone I think could work out long term. We'll see. Got a cutie coming home from her mission very soon and I've kind been waiting to see if things might just go somewhere with her since she squats more than me and has thighs sent straight from Allah.
Career is doing pretty good, fto is stressful but I'm getting the hang of things. Lots of tweakers and weirdos in my area. Getting a raise in July so that's pretty neat. Got an award for doing some gay shit recently and that felt good.
Sold my ptr91 with wood furniture and I regret it despite making a fuck ton off of it. Maybe I can buy another but finding wood for a ptr is just a pain, anyone have any luck with the cetmes? Or maybe fitting the wood from a cetme kit to a ptr91?
The wood from a Cetme fit my C308 without any need for filing or fitting.
It may work on a PTR 91.
C308 gud or trash anon? I've heard mixed things but I keep hearing century fixed the c308s
Mine has been a good rifle.
Groups are huge but I'm hoping to eventually get those tightened.
Just got done with the gym after a hard day of poking a Jenkins black box. Gonna eat some chili and Tostitos and drink some Batangas with my wife, then watch a terrible horror movie
charles daly triple threat arrives at lgs on monday, we are so back
I hate work so god damn much
Washington state here, doing bad.
Nobody will ship us anything even tangentially related to guns anymore. It's fucked beyond repair.
Stuck in stagnation for at minimum a month
Doing great.
Reconnected with the first girl I ever dated for some coffee and we are moving in together soon. We hadn't seen each other in almost a decade and it was so much like we both remembered that it just took off from there. Maybe the dating pool in your late 20s / early 30s really does start getting dire and we both sensed that the chances to meet someone are slimming down for both of us. Maybe adult us are more compatible than teenage us were and the time apart did some good, who knows.
I'm happy and so is she and I haven't seen even a hint of anything that would disrupt what we have going.
I stocked at least 100,000 rounds of ammo today, pretty tired
i got ghosted by a girl again. She was super touchy and flirty after our first date, and couldnt stop offering hugs. She gave me her phone number, and we kept texting after the first date. I set up plans and made reservations at a place for a 2nd, but like 3 days before she just went silent. I am numb inside though, so i dont really care. 30yo and i guess ill just never marry or experience love. Idk
Fuck, these threads always make me feel bad because I’m convinced my life is shit but then I read other anons’ stories and realize how good I have it and it just makes me feel even worse for complaining about life.
But anyway, life is good, now that I realize. Got a job lined up as soon as I can send them my transcripts but my fucking school is taking their sweet ass time sending them even though classes ended two weeks ago, and this whole time I’m just rotting away in my bedroom biting my nails hoping my employers don’t get too impatient with me. It’s a shame because this job is like a literal dream job for me too. Pay is decent, work-life balance is great which is all I really care about, and I get to nuke stuff for a living. Only downside is I have to drop weed for the foreseeable future. I used to be a pothead junkie but I only got high like twice a month so I’m not as far gone as other potheads. But, fuck, I already miss getting high. At least I can still get drunk but I feel like my liver is twice my age from how much I’ve abused it with liquor. Another complaint is somehow I just don’t feel like going to the range recently. There’s a gun show tomorrow so hopefully it’ll reignite that spark in me and I’ll go hole punching papers soon. I miss the range here, it’s so relaxing being out there. Also I’m still a KHHV but whatever, it’s getting easier and easier to deal with. I think I’m almost done making peace with it. I probably shouldn’t pass on my genes anyway. This curse ends with me.
Thanks for the thread, OP. I really value these threads. Most of you are good men, and I want you guys to have somewhere to vent unrestricted, God knows we need it these days. Stay strong, gentlemen. God bless you all. WAGMI
>Me miserable! which way shall I flie
>Infinite wrauth, and infinite despaire?
>Which way I flie is Hell; my self am Hell;
>And in the lowest deep a lower deep
>Still threatning to devour me opens wide,
>To which the Hell I suffer seems a Heav'n.
eh okay finally got a torched VZ.61 receiver so I can finally finish the kit. Still have not shot any my guns in months I really need to go its been to long.
>getting my grandfather honored with a congressional gold medal
>mended relationship with my family
>moving to the midwest soon with friends
>know I have people who love and care for me
>have most of the guns I've ever wanted
Why the hell does it not feel like enough?
Enough is death, the feeling of always pursuing meaning is life.
Thanks anon. That's a good way of looking at it. My friend died last year and his family wants to visit when I pick up his medal in Vegas.
Not so good. Discussed divorce with the wife last night. We agreed that I'd take my eldest son and she'd take our younger son.
Not great. I have severe hyperacusis. Lifelong but much worse in the past five years (not from guns, just how I was born). So I'm living a half-life, in the pleasant gilded cage of my parents' house, doing nothing and going nowhere because every sound hurts.
So I guess this is my appeal to you to protect your fucking ears. Wear hearing protection when you shoot guns! You do not want tinnitus or hyperacusis. Either will destroy your life and make you want to have a nice day.
As divorces go, if you are talking it over and figuring things out, that's... better than getting your hand forced into something worse. I know a few people who rebuilt after divorces, including one involving kids, and went on to be happy. It can be done.
So not even earplugs can help?
>As divorces go, if you are talking it over and figuring things out, that's... better than getting your hand forced into something worse. I know a few people who rebuilt after divorces, including one involving kids, and went on to be happy. It can be done.
Thanks anon.
Im alive. But on the upside I might get a pl8 carrier in the next couple months, so thats cool at least.
I'm almost done with my degree, which is good, but my folks think that this is my last semester so idk how I am gonna tell them that. I'm probably just gonna do a good news bad news that my guidance counselor screwed with me, but I'm not in for much longer. Honestly though, I'm pissed. I spent my early 20s in fucking school because I suck at school. I can't help feeling like it is wasted time, even though I know it isn't cause a STEM degree is still pretty valuable. All in all, my problems suck but they aren't insurmountable, just gonna suck pulling the proverbial bandaid off.
>STEM degree
Didn't they change it to STEAM now? Art is in there. YOU DIDN'T FORGET THE ARTISTS NOW, DID YOU ANON? THEY ARE VERY IMPORTANT.
seek help r tard
>Making 70k a year
>parents are turning 75+
>turning 30 this year
>parents are $130k in debt
>never passed college
>live with parents
>overweight
>No near year prospects of significant others
>livin near DMV so cost of living is rising $5000 a year
Not so bad. Scared of the prospects of future medical costs for parents but I'm taking college classes again cause I really need that paper.
Doing okayish, got a warehouse monkey job that pay pretty decently, will help pay for a small appartment when I restart my studies, I'm going to gunsmithing school. I still feel like shit because I had to drop out of basic because of a fucked up knee. Overall life goes on and I'm going along with it
Quite relaxed, thanks for asking.
had to shoot dogs on deployment, didn't like doing it but I didn't think much of it at the time
now every time I hear my new puppy crying or I hear dogs going nuts down the road I get really anxious and feel an adrenaline rush and my wife says I act extremely irritable and angry
Am I just a pussy? wtf bros
No that sounds horrible man sorry you had to do that. You should probably take the time and resources to get 5+ doggos, raise them well, and then one day just lay in a green field and let them dogpile you. Very therapeutic. I plan to do that but indoors with like 5+ kittens. Trick is to get them all in the same litter or get them associated extremely early.
I guess I just didn't expect this of all things to fuck with me. The dogs we shot were rabid/potentially rabid and a health and safety risk to us, so I had a way to justify it to myself whenever we did it, but still.
There have been points in my career/life where I've held guns on people and I know that if I had pulled the trigger I wouldn't give a single fuck about it afterwards. I guess dogs just don't know what they're doing or why they're acting the way they do, and I feel worse about killing something that doesn't have the capacity to knowingly act like a prick or understand what it's doing is wrong
>. I guess dogs just don't know what they're doing or why they're acting the way they do, and I feel worse about killing something that doesn't have the capacity to knowingly act like a prick or understand what it's doing is wrong
well it's plain to see you have a genuine love of dogs.
I'm not going to say "don't worry about it", because humans can't help but worry about things they care about, even if there's a whole list of justifications for certain actions.
What you did crossed a personal line to you, and I think the fact it stills eats at you says a lot about your integrity and decency. Hopefully time will help you overcome this particular pain.
You're reading way too much into it. A way to look at this is imagine yourself as a rancher with sheep. A coyote comes along one night and jumps one. Do you kill the coyote before it kills your sheep? you would only be shooting that coyote because it's inconveniencing you just like the stray dogs on deployment were.
>Am I just a pussy? wtf bros
>had a traumatic experience with animals and now said animals trigger a response from you
you're just human, anon. that's how our brains work, for better or worse.
if it wasn't natural then it wouldn't happen so predictably. you care about your dogs and you know why this reaction happens, so I think you'll be able to manage with it somehow
>There will be more of them then there are of us.
Right in the feels.
nothing is going well and I feel like shit and its been like this for the last 6 years.I will not give up.
I might wasted my entire future on a degree I don't want, on a job I don't want, with a possibly permanent lame foot after a fall, but you know what? I'm content as fuck. I have friends, I have my family, I even have boards and forums of terminally online retards. Life's too short to care anyway.
Your video is unavailable unfortunately. Weird. I recognize that song from another thread a couple months ago. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NPj7ySDWVQc
Stuck in a limbo where I’m fucking my ex fiancée and we go out and do couples stuff but we’re not actually together. We enjoy each other’s company but I still don’t know how to feel about this. It’s definitely better than being alone
>have alcohol intolerance
>also alcoholism
Hangovers are the fucking devil
Going to kill myself but don't worry I won't use a gun
why anon
Pretty gud zeroed 1st ar build after making more money after promotion from job now going with fren to other frens comfy concert
I’M SHATTERED!!! THE RUSSIANS HAVE TAKEN BAHKMUT
I'm trapped in a bad graduate program overseen by inept administrators and have burnt out so completely that not even a glow remains. My advisor and I have been in a death spiral of mutual disappointment and failure for more than a year and we're reaching the center of the spiral. Morale is low among nearly all the other graduate students in this program but I'm one of like two people that are domestic students so the rest of them are ready to put up with anything and everything to keep their visas long enough to either graduate or find a local spouse. The policies in this program seem to have been designed with that in mind. I don't want to kill myself but I wouldn't mind dying.
Ive started trying to fix my shit. Solve the issues I have, & go shooting more to keep spirits high.
I'm doing pretty good. Weekend to myself, woman out of town. Just got paid. Drinking, grilling, might hit the range with the FAL and PTR tomorrow. Need to verify the FAL is functional after repair and zero the aimpoint comp m4s on the PTR.
>LARP as a Rhodesian soldier or a Portuguese marine.
Life is tolerable.
I joined the Army for le camaraderie and le brotherhood and all that nonsense. Now it's 5 years later and all I have is constant anxiety over not doing enough and not being good enough. Most of the people I met were two-faced or took advantage of my naïvete. I learned some harsh lessons but boy did it hurt to get there. Every time I got promoted the expectations got higher and so did the stress. I'm in a "high speed" position as a recon/sniper SL but aside from a couple enjoyable days a year it's just even more work and anxiety.
The relationships I had before joining all dissolved. My peers and coworkers don't really like me, and outside of work I have no social life whatsoever. I don't drink or party so I automatically don't hang out with 90% of the people in my unit anyway. The few friends I made along the way all ETS'd, PCS'd, or we drifted apart. I suck at LDR so I'd go from seeing someone daily to texting them twice a year.
I've never had a girlfriend and probably never will. Something in my brain isn't wired right for connecting with other people. When I talk to women they always seem to flinch for a second after making eye contact with me, and even if I have an okay conversation with someone she'll get a scared or disgusted look on her face if it seems like I'm about to touch her. I don't know what it is and I'm tired of trying to figure it out. My internal clock says that it's Make A Family O'Clock and I need that particular alarm to stop ringing all the time.
I should go to church, but I have a lot of hangups from my Mormon upbringing and fear choosing a denomination that might be hiding nasty surprises like what I grew up with. I went to Divine Liturgy a couple times and really enjoyed it, but now I'm deployed and the closest EO church is dozens of miles and a signed pass away and isn't in my language besides.
Anyway. Blogpost over. Back to my duty shift.
It's time for you to ETS or PCS as well, my man. If you were in it for the long haul but don't want to see all that time served go to waste, go Reserves or Guard. Might require an MOS change but just about every unit would take a high speed former Recon/Sniper even if the new MOS has absolutely nothing to do with combat arms.
3.6/5 - not great, not terrible.
Today was awful. Yesterday was awful. Tomorrow will be awful. My body has given up. I'm just tired of being alive. I don't want to do it anymore.
Need more pupper in my life.
Old pupper died of oldness.
Miss old pupper.
Need new pupper in my life.
I got a new pupper since my old pupper is getting old. She's coming around on him, but you can tell she finds him a little annoying still
Bad, I'm stuck in a life I don't want, no skills, no job opportunities, no friends, no money, no family.
What little family I do have hates me, or sabotaged me up until this point, and now expects me to be some uber successful billionaire with no way to actually do that because I was prevented from learning anything that could help me. Since I know nobody I can't get a decent job or an apprenticeship anywhere, so my only option is to take a shit tier low income job and work for retards who can't even do the work they demand of me till I die.
My only way out of this was military service, but it's looking like I have asthma so the only chance I had at getting out of this shit is shot as I cannot make an cardio gains no matter what I do.
parents are divorcing, brother is a retarded thug that does coke and mistreats my parents and fucks up the house, parents are retarded and keep letting him come back at home even tho it's been 3 years since he started behaving like that, insulting then, not going to school, being a hum, assaulting my father etc, I'd kill him and often think about stabbing him in the neck when he's there next to me but never do it because it would ruin my life for legal reasons.
have 0 friends, just a couple ex friends that I'm trying to get back contacts with even tho I dont enjoy going out with them very much but I need to go out to meet new people and that's a start.
parents are doubly retarded because they make good money and yet cant pay bills because they have no savings and keep spending money for restaurants and vacations.
father asked me 1000 euros to pay bills, will give it back next month.
gf left me 3 months ago, now she's on vacation in another country to stay with a guy she met this summer and it's guaranteed they'll fuck, (they have already done it before this)
often times I dont want to do stuff and just waste my time on the phone or on games, but I read alot and I started working out again even tho I have to force myself to work out and it's a slog
at least I got a well paying job in a "rare" field, and I like it, it's ok, but I've been here just 3 months and got no prior experience so I got to consolidate my position.
hope I can go away from this country in the future thanks to the job.
I have no fun in my life, no one to talk to, no one to make things lighter, I'm always burdened by these things and almost never take some "time off" from feeling this way, I know how it would feel because when I still had a gf I felt good when I was with her, but she left me because I has become a grey hull, a boring depressed and sometimes aggressive person, i understand her choice
sometimes I go innawoods hiking.
I'm planning to go on an organized hike to try to meet some people
Work on getting US citizenship thru the job if you can, the gf wasn't yours you were just renting, find somebody else when you're out. The hike is a good thing, but your parents and brother are a lost cause.
>us citizenship
that's one of my life goals, to come to the us, and with this job it might actually be possible, it all changed in a short amount of time, went from being in university being a depressed fag about to drop out and not giving any exams to randomly landing this job, idk what would've happened if I didn't, nothing good, I would've probably been a failure wagecuck, anyway shouldn't celebrate too early, I've been here just 3 months and I still havent solved any of my problems.
in my worst moments in the past i was seriously thinking about killing myself, I 99% wouldn't have done it but I kept imagining myself as dead shit in the head as relief from my condition
btw psychologist are useless, I went there for a long time and it never helped, even got prescribed pills for depression and they were useless, anyway I don't think I'm medically depressed, my condition is an emotional one so to speak
You need to get away from your family dude, like you don't have to cut them off completely but you definitely need to move out. That kind of atmosphere is only fucking you up.
I agree but I wanted to stay for the first year to save some money, otherwise of I go living along ill burn like 60% of my income, plus renting is a waste since I'm never home
>and I started working out again even tho I have to force myself to work out and it's a slog
That's the thing, you have to find something you like. I ride my bike. I always tell people that if I take 5 days off and come back to it, the first hill is hell. I will walk up it. Whereas that week streak of riding at least every other day, I'd just ride up it. Even if you like doing whatever it is when you work out, if you slack on it, it will fuck you hard and it will make it difficult to want to get back into it.
i don't know if i've become numb to the pain of life or if i turned into an actual bloomer
the last decade i was a doomer, everything was depressing and i wanted to die, now i feel like if i die my purpose has not been fulfilled
i'm so close to having my own business, i find beauty and understanding in everything and i dedicate an hour of my time every day to learning something new whether it's botany, biology or making something
i've become such a minimalist too, i've let go of a lot of things, being lonely sucks sometimes but it's nice too because there's less to worry about
overall, i feel like i've got purpose, and that's a nice feeling to have
Really wish I had a girlfriend but now that I'm no longer in college and work a 9-5 wageslave job it seems impossible to meet women in my age range that are single/looking for a relationship. And no, I will not use apps like tinder, they're filled with the types of women I do not want to have a relationship with
Online dating, unironically. You have to sift through a lot of losers but it works if you put effort into it. Otherwise you'll have to try to meet people the old fashioned way and that's not easy
same for me, I got no friends so I never am in the contexts where you can meet people, and also girls, thus it's a self perpetuating situation.
I'm trying tinder, tried for a couple months now, got some matches but they either never answer back or answer once and then ghost, but I've heard in other countries tinder is more fertile ground, while here it's not, idk if its true tho
Finished my third year of college and have been heavily regretting wasting my GI Bill on my IT degree. Went into it cause its what I did in the Marines but I realized too late that I dont actually give a fuck about IT. I only liked it cause it was with people I liked and a job that felt important. Tried doing IT in a corporate envornment and I wanted to kms. I'm too far into the degree now to change so I decided to pick up a minor in music technology and sound design to keep some sanity. Found out I really love working in recording studios. On top of all that I lost both my grandparents in less than 6 months and my Mom has been showing signs of age. I'm too afraid to move far away from her cause she wasnt able to see her own parents when they died and I dont wanna have that happen to me. I'll figure it out eventually, but man it sucks
Pic unrelated.
doing my shit at work, but waiting to see if come july if myself or my manager are getting laid off
getting laid off will suck big time
my manager getting laid off will also suck big time, he's literally the only reason half my team even is still here, and makes work pretty great; meanwhile the micro managers they want to replace them with will make me want to kill myself
Doin alright, I got a medical marijuana card to deal with my horrible anxiety but those fucking garden gnomes tricked me and now I can't buy any guns. At least I've got pot.
Still breathing, so pretty good.
Like fucking ass.
I'm doing training for my job at this new company but they're retarded and it's all disorganized and we spend half the time doing nothing because they didn't organize for shit and there is no structure to the training, like for example we went to another country to make some training with the company guys there, and they didn't even know why we had come there because our side of the company didn't tell them we were there for training, pretty strange since it's a fuckhuge multinational Corp, I expected them to be well organized.
so it'll take a lot to learn shit.
plus to do everything you have tk ask to an hr bitch who is retarded and always says to ask someone else that then says it's not his responsibility and to ask someone else etc
anyway they pay alot and once I learn the skills I will likely be able to be easily employed and also paid well, and also move country, so I accept the retardation
>since it's a fuckhuge multinational Corp, I expected them to be well organized.
The more people that need to communicate, especially across distinct groups, the less organized you can expect it to get. Om the bright side, it's easy to disappear in a clusterfuck, meaning easy paychecks and some freedom in how you get your job done.
Hopefully, anyway.
gf has a chilhood trauma and is disgusted and repulsed by sex. I always thought that she didn't want to have sex because she was christian, i feel kinda like asshole now. Worse is that she hates herself for not liking sex or any physical stuff for that matter
Rape her till she likes it
Well, I'm falling behind on the vocational schooling I'm doing to get into programming, my antidepressants are less effective than they were, and the insomnia is exacerbated by stress. Only got guns in my dreams, multiple surprise bills this month, first girl i like in years wants to fuck my mate but not me, the boys are drifting apart slowly but surely, my body is failing me and it's getting awfully warm already.
Just gotta hang in there. Just gotta get there.
We're all gonna make it, right?
Eh, I'm doing alright
I got some ruskie friends trying to avoid being conscripted while I got pole and Slovak friends to worry about if those retards over in Russia try to escalate shit further
Besides worrying about shit that can't be controlled, doing fine beyond that, autistically thinking on some milshit scenario in a House of Leaves type setting since I'm currently reading up on that and playing some DOOM 2 Hideous Destructor on that MyHouse.wad map
Hope you bastards are having a good rest of your day as well, wherever the hell you all are
Ukraine is losing.
Cope harder
I'm a pice of shit:/