How's everyone doing PrepHole? Thread to share PrepHole related feels, I'll start:
I've always struggled with my identity and who I really am do to feeling like I haven't proven myself in combat, largely due to having type 1 diabetes barring me from entering service. Needs to be something to overcome but it always nags at me, is there a solution PrepHole?
>inb4 an hero
I am a female in a man body, i need HRT
That's ruff uwu
>the concept of mind is anchoring you to this suffering.
Neither mind nor Buddha
That's not how it works retard, go get help.
This minus the HRT. I’ll wait till we get real life character customization complete with gender options
I‘m trans btw, dunno if that matters
have a nice day degenerate gay
>morale check; How're you doing?
Unbothered. Moisturized. Happy. In My Lane. Focused. Flourishing.
You don't need to prove yourself in combat; give up the concept of mind that is anchoring you to this suffering.
There is absolutely nothing worth knowing or seeing in combat and I can only speak for myself but the killings I did I do think about a lot and some of the deaths. I am alone with the responsibility for what I did thankful that in my cause the people I killed needed killing. It must go hard when they did not deserve it so much.
>Durr Hurr I shot someone in Iraq
I was in very close contact in an urban area for three months saw a lot of bad deaths. There is no band of brothers shit there is none of that there is no fucking discovering yourself. There is just being fucking terrified, bored, tired and wanting out.
Otherwise I have everything great and can't complain.
You're a man in a mans body be grateful God gave it to you.
Some people need shooting sadly and cause wars. Serbs and Russians need shooting. You need shooting.
>I hope I only killed bad guys
That's such a childish mindset and it's asking to come out of a war all fucked up if you think in those terms. You weren't there to kill "bad guys" you were an instrument of foreign policy of the US state that's on the violent side of the toolbox. The moment you singed your papers and took your oaths, you surrendered your conscience to become Uncle Sam's beating stick and where that stick is swung is up to the politicans, not you. You lost your moral purity the moment you joined and became guilty by association of every war crime the US ever commited, after that it's a matter of obedience, not morals.
He never said he was in the US military and you talk like an anti-American commie raghead fag
>He never said he was in the US military
Yet there's like a 99% chance he was based on the proportion of English-speaking people around the world who could have seen 3 months of urban combat. And on the off chance he's, I don't know, Syrian, the general idea still applies.
>and you talk like an anti-American commie raghead fag
I'm very much the opposite, I'm just a realist about the fact that interests of states don't align with individual morality and if you choose to serve the former, you forego the latter.
You've never been to war, manchild.
welcome home bro. hopefully you find your place in this world after going through all that shit
I am a nafo garden gnome, I am diagnosed schizophrenic... Zelensky inspired me to become a woman.
Anyone else sad that the coronavirus didn't turn them and others into furries and instead was just a gay cold from China? I want to hug Krystal.
>tfw it wasn't the grand boomer remover
my life would have been so much better if my parents and grandparents had died to wuflu in 2019-2020. Nature tried, but failed.
oh also
>tfw dancing Ankha cat
anon we're already furries
I don't actively hate living but I don't really get anything from it. I'm like a passenger to my own life journey.
PrepHole told me to lift and PrepHole told me to go to church but these are both very unappealing to me
You're a man of marble anon. Carving yourself into the right person is hard work and painful. The trick is finding something that gives you meaning, and the strength to keep shooting for better.
I haven't felt normal in more than three years
my fiancee left me then, but that wasn't really the start of it. Ever since then I've always felt like there was something I was supposed to be doing, but it never revealed itself to me.
My shrink diagnosed me with depression, the pills make the intrusive thoughts less intrusive, but they can't take away the sense that I shouldn't have to motivate myself to take a shower or that I should be doing *something* with my life but I can't figure out what.
dude literally just do the shit you want to do
force yourself to try new shit once a week or more, increasingly outside of your comfort zone but not recklessly unsafe, and increase until you like something or meet people you like, etc.
It sucks but can be overcome. I'm glad you feel some benefit from meds; be sure to work closely with your doctor if you ever need to change or stop your dosage, to give your neurochems time to re-normalize and your thought patterns and self-talk habits to improve at the same time.
Sorry shit happened to you anon, but you have a whole life of better shit to look forward to and will get out of this nasty patch.
That's half the problem. There's nothing I really want to do
Anhedonia is a bitch. Sun exposure and green spaces and experiential variability kill depression, quantifiably.
Hence,
>force yourself to try new shit once a week or more, increasingly outside of your comfort zone but not recklessly unsafe, and increase until you like something or meet people you like, etc.
It could literally just be random shit; try to cook a new cuisine or make a loaf of bread, try to grow a seed, try to start paying attention to what species of birds or trees or fucking grass live in your area, etc
nature is a wonderland anon and you are a part of it and inexorably interwoven with it
humans just suck and are autistic as a species
jog around the block
walk in grass without shoes
say hi to 5 strangers
go to a religious service you normally wouldn't and just be nice to people and see what they do every worship day, etc
inhabit reality in ways that you don't usually, because the way you have been isn't working for you, it seems based on your expression of dissatisfaction / anhedonia
to a certain point the later may be clinical and largely idiopathic and transitory, maybe for years or forever, but your best chance at shaking it out of the grey matter is through stimulation of new neural pathways and developing resilience, etc.
I'm gonna eat a taco now
have you ever had a taco anon? This isn't a rhetorical question; i just found out my niece never has and I find that fucking wild and wonder how many others have never had one either
based helpful anon, nta but I'm in a similar situation
Based inquisitive wanderer. This is good advice, anons.
Women abuse my autism and use me as a taxi or bank. Why can't people just be kind to me man, wish I was a fucking normie everyday
life as a man with aspergers is hard as fuck
not to sound like an andrew tate fan but you must unironically avoid being nice to women (be kind, not nice) because you will be abused for your niceness. They may not even know how much they're hurting you inside, people just take advantage of doormats.
>life as a man with aspergers is:
if your answer is anything other than fucking based you're just doing it wrong
Autism is a curse.
you aren't a victim
you are in control of a decent majority of your actions and a larger majority of your reactions, and absolutely nothing else
fix these issues by working within yourself, not blaming others who are just entropy-magnetized to surviving off of the energy you freely bleed at them; don't give yourself away and you won't be used.
It’s hard but when you learn to say no and not grovel for scraps of their attention you will see a huge difference. I’d get the LJBF a lot on dating apps and I’d say “Sorry, I’m here to meet someone for a romantic relationship and not available for more friends.” Also don’t be a perv but don’t be ashamed of the fact you are a dude and liking to meet a chick for things adults do. Find something about yourself that makes you stand out from boring normies, I can’t tell you how many lib chicks lived the facts I was a gunfag.
I love working for uncle Sam!
Let's me know just who I am.
One, two, three, four;
United States Marine Corps.
My corps.
Your corps.
Our corps.
Marine Corps!
Sometimes I want to enlist, or convert to Islam, for that sense of structure, but then I remember I'm not a GIANT KEK BITCH and take control of my own life
if you've got the tism structure is great tho
i swear to god I said KEK BITCH and not KEK I am not quite sure how that happened
real PTSD hours
no one I've known whose seen action and killed has anything good to say about it
just that they drink a lot more, sit in the dark and smoke until 3 AM, and don't like sitting near unshaded windows or in a tactically disadvantageous position within a restaurant or anywhere else
seems like you're bearing your trauma well though man. I hope you have people you can reach out to if it ever gets heavier than it is right now; you sound solid though. Glad you've got your head in the right place, uhhh mostly?
Oh I see, new wordfilter, OK GOT ME
peanutbutter onions tbh
does it work if I use cyrillic
cucк
New filter?
cuck
Stfu you cuck there's no new word filter
Terrible. I'm scared to drink water in the morning because my nose becomes a faucet. But it doesn't end there. It clogs, so it goes down the back of the throat. Feels like I'm constantly swallowing an oyster. Then the esophagus constricts and eventually my stomach becomes a rock. The only thing to open up that digestive sphincter apparently, after trying various liquids, is light beer. So if I wasn't already useless for those first few hours, now I'm drunk and useless.
I saw various medical professionals including my general doc and an allergist and am now being punted to get a camera tube stuck down my throat. What I did learn was that I am allergic to at least four Latin terms of dust mite shit. After doing the bedding and laundry, and replacing the furnace filters and sleeping on a leather couch I still feel like shit.
If you don't have any empathy for a chronic pain or autoimmune patient, this fucking sucks. I can't sleep well. I also can't be awake well. And it's almost like being a diabetic maneuvering the medical system while in need of insulin.
Fucking goddammit, this extensional nightmare only grants me between two seconds and two minutes to feel like I used to after waking up from sleep.
FUUUUUUCK!!!!
That sounds hellish, anon. When did this all start for you? And how likely is it that you could invest in a quality HEPA filter system for by your bed at night/by your workspace during the day? Is relocation at all an option for you?
Sorry you're going through such a complicated medical issue man. I very much agree with what you said about the validity of empathy for the chronically ill and poorly medically assisted people in our societies; it's good and really productive that you aren't letting your substantial suffering harden your outlook on empathy
Everything is viable. The only obligation in life is to die. They might lock you in a box if you really fuck up, but still all you have to do is die.
Support system is as sick of my being a prickly bitch with chronic bullshit as I am of my woe-is-me attitude. Seems like I should go die in a ditch for the betterment of both parties involved.
You have an overgrowth of biolfim, fungus, mucus, in the body fed by the exact same things that you consume. Beer, other poisonous substances that do not help you, but instead merely feed the fungus growing in your body. Stop consuming them. Start consuming things that actively kill and prevent mucus, fungus, biolfilm growth. Baking soda, borax water, coconut oil, eggs, peppers, turmeric, berries, yogurts, the list goes on. Mistreating your body, and being surprised to have it be sickly and poisoned is just you being irresponsible and careless, and paying the price for it.
I'm touched that you read and responded to me, but chugging other semi-toxic chemicals should probably be recommended from a medical professional than a one-off anonymous post.
That being said, I'm all ears if you want to expand further.
fed thread
if you're currently in a red flag jurisdiction or may become redflagnant don't imply you are in possession of a firearm and a danger to yourself or others
anon's basic approach sounds like the right idea, at least to help alleviate issues from what might not be the root cause of your problem but could be a contributing / comorbid condition.
needing sugary or cultured beverages to return to homeostatic baseline, for no clear reason, is a pretty good sign that you're either (pre)diabetic or colonized by something feeding on the nutrients supplied by said beverage. the microbiome is a vastly larger % of the human system than people typically understand. by cell count it's more than half of what your organism is dragging around. certain types of colonies (like biofilms, as anon mentioned) accrete in layers and are extremely OP at being persistent fuckers that crowd out others once they've seeded the substrate. some will continue to dominate as long as you keep feeding them what they need for their energetic requirements.
>namefag
>calling a morale thread a fed thread
Nobodies asking to see pics of gats anon.
common courtesy to point out monitoring-fodder among hackers and miscreants. nothing to lose by doing it. assume glowfags and tutsi cockroaches are seeking to abuse the self-disclosure norms of comfier threads at all times.
I don't think that it's an unsound idea. There has been a consistent poisoning from pretty much consuming light or extra-light (small?) beer as water into the system 90% water. But what evidence is there to clear out your guts with an abrasive?
They have trials where you literally eat shit to change your gut flora, but they have been neither here nor there.
Don't get me wrong, I don't want to feel like this. But each effort to seek out medical help has been shoulder shrugs and I'm completely discouraged.
fecal transplants certainly do work for some people, but you're talking about a postnasal drip problem right? completely wrong end of the human centipede. borax and the nuttier stuff isn't something i'd touch. but probiotics, foods and supps well known from both folk medicine and research literature for probiotic and anti-inflammatory properties (tumeric, yogurt like anon mentioned) are the sorts of recommendations that you kind of can't fuck up.
if you haven't seen an endo yet, get that done. hormone panels often reveal subtler systemic things that non-specialists won't think to look at.
differential diagnosis is basically a decision-tree problem, with binary or ternary branching based on the outputs of a previous step being chained into the inputs of the current step. when no single lens / specialist is getting you a satisfying answer, the answer is to find any excuse to generate more information.
more info is more entropy is greater chance that someone who assembles it all can spot that it actually fits this one parse with only 6% probability that nobody ever thinks about. computers are particularly good at remembering not to discount 'tail diagnoses' like these, at the expense of suggesting that every other patient has Incurable Stage 4 Ligma when the practitioners know that it's just the flu.
Definitely will do endo, however the clogged Covid pipeline is still in effect and it's months out. I'm guessing I'll get punted to an ENT or other specialist next. Obviously they want to ultrasound my liver as well because I'm fully upfront about the alcoholism. It's just being in survival mode for months is taking its toll, and I feel completely helpless as life passes by. It feels like losing executive function and borderline before becoming a ward of the state. Which kinda sucks because my mind's here, I just can't really do anything and burden any people in my support network. Even they're getting tired of it because I just look lazy and sloppy, and I have to reiterate that yes I'm drinking light beer at 10am, and I also have a Ricola in my mouth, both in order to not throw up. That invoice isn't entered yet, but I'll get to it when I don't feel like I need to run to a toilet within the next 30 seconds.
This ain't living.
Bad deaths are when they know they are dying and it is done cruelly. People stop caring and bad shit happens. heavy combat is no good OP. It is what it is but your post is like saying you are sad you missed ass cancer because ass cancer would have helped you know who you are. It won't. Its just ass cancer.
The Neverserved's Credo:
I miss ass cancer
ass cancer would have helped me know who I am
it will
it isn't just cancer
Go get your icecream at burgerking champ and tell me how you maybe shot someone in Afghanistan but you're not really sure. Combat is fucking shit and if you say otherwise you have never been in much of it.
I mean, quite literally all of philosophy throughout human history says otherwise anon. Philosophy written by warriors and not just some nerds who liked to stick their dicks between the thighs of questionable young men.
Maybe comprising the army of teenage kids who just want college tuition is the reason why so many come back jaded. Turns out that free tuition wasn't so free after all.
You're full of shit
There's nothing stopping you from reading them yourself. As for the caliber of men we send halfway around the world. Being in my late 20s now, I couldn't even begin to imagine enlisting at the age of 18-21. I had horrible anxiety and panic attacks back then and bad depression. It took me years of enduring that pain to slowly overcome it. I'm sure many others were in similar positions but enlisted on top of it. I'm sure having someone shoot at you probably doesn't help the anxiety and panic attacks. - If we're being honest as well, how many men who were 11b's and 0311's in Iraq and Afghanistan were there because they wanted to do the job and not there just to get free tuition or who were fucked up addicts who thought joining the military either on their own volition or via court order would "straighten them out"?
One man says war is hell, another says war is pretty fucking based. Who is right?
yeh *football* footbol
is that like, i'm a baller?
I can basically see the asiatic autist who drew this a few weeks before a few weeks of training a few weeks after which his lower legs and arms were burned off
life is hell
>bad things only happen in war
That's just life in general anon. War contains a lot of pain and suffering, but that's just life in general as well. To be anti-war for those reasons is essentially to say you are anti-life. It is what it is. As for the imaginary artist, I just pulled that pic off of e621 cause I thought it was funny. I'm the anon that wants to hug Krystal earlier in the thread.
>life is hell
>life
>that's just life in general anon, ARE YOU ANTI LIFE?
I think another miscommunication is afoot here but I'm a common denominator in them so maybe it's time to go to bed
>i'm the furry guy
lol I lost track; I'm the one who replied to you with dancing ankha talk. I agree with you on all points we've hit so far I think.
It appears I am lost as well. Too tired and still upset over no furry gf. Good autism debate fren.
Ass cancer. You can live life and miss that too. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS SHIT. WHY WON;T THAT FUCKER SHIT UP AND DIE ALREADY? EH LOOK I SHOT HIM IN THE BALLS AND THEY FORGOIT ABOUT HIM AND HE'S CRAWLED ALL THE WAY TO THE SMASHED TROLLY BET YOU CAN'T GET HIM IN THE FEET. SUCH FUCKING FUN ESPECIALLY THE BOILS ON MY GROIN AND TESTICLES AND THAT KID SCREAMING OVER THE ROAD THAT WON'T SHUT THE FUCK UP. I HATE THESE FUCKING PEOPLE WHY THE FUCK AM I HERE
Did you play sports when you were a kid or no?
Do you feel this way before a match because when it gets real and its full on you will
>free tuition wasn't so free after all
holy shit anon you almost made me choke on my spanish rice
wtf bro can't you get like
wellfare
are you ugly? you could probably fuck for money, jack it in front of creepy old rich dudes for like 15 bucks a stint or something, maybe online?
Hit me up on instagram if you ever end up doing it; @A2Grip
I am not prostituting myself for 9mm,as tempting as it sounds, thank you.
To each their own
I was gonna shove my dick up my ass on camera for whoever would pay me tokens, but the terms and conditions of those e-thot sites for male performers are actually borderline enslavement where you have to do whatever some depraved homo tells you or you get banned from the platform. I have known a few guys who banged old ladies for money directly or indirectly and it seemed OK, imagined euro ladiez would be cooler about it, too, but IDK man it's your life you live it.
I think there's been a misunderstanding along the line; we appear to hold the same viewpoint.
No bother then, enough of this shit, I'm going to buy some cheap fizzy booze and hook up with a sporty blondie, now that OP is something you should get on with and not miss.
dubs of truth
don't get aids or child support garnishments but have fun
Financially struggling, otherwise ok.
I can make the ends meet, but barely.
Rent, bills, loan paybacks... all paid. But after that, I have like 300 euros a month for food and _everything else_.
It keeps food on the table, but not much else. I have managed to maintain about one months worth of basic foodstuffs (gramma taught that you should always have at least two weeks worth of food in the house), but it does take planning. I go to grocery shopping like once a week, and with a list. If it's not on the list, it stays on the shelf. Every day has a set meal which has been thought in advance, no extra meals or slipping from the schedule.
I have been worried about the quality and healthiness of said food. It's a lot of canned food, lot of staples like rice, pasta, potatoes. I'd like some variety and more greens, but the budget is just not there.
And that means... no shooting. I haven't been on the range since April. One 50-box of 9mm costs like 17 euros here and at the moment, that's too much for my budget. I still have emergency set of three whole mags for 9mm, and a 50-pack of .357 magnum, but that's it.
I still maintain the guns, take them apart, oil them, make sure they operate smoothly... but it would be nice to actually SHOOT them too.
I know that I have it relatively good, after all I can make the ends meet and I have food on the table... it's just that it doesn't feel like _living_. It's just survival. From payday to payday. No savings, either.
I know that money does not bring happiness. But it does alleviate the small annoyances, shittyness and general angst of living. It doesn't fix your life... but it does reduce problems.
ok fgts I'm heading to the porch to hack a butt and annoy my nocturnal mexican neighbors with warren zevon
godspeed you beutiful fuckin retards
>I've always struggled with my identity and who I really am do to feeling like I haven't proven myself in combat
Yeah
U r big gaye
So much fun
Doin pretty alright. Thanks to the anons on here I managed to get accepted to a firearm handling course and will be shooting my first gun this weekend. Granted it'll be a dinky .22 but at least it's a start. I'll probably start shooting at the range regularly, and eventually buy a gun when I scrape enough money together.
>make first post on faceberg in the longest fuckin time
>not 15 minutes go by and a dude i knew in college sends me like 5 messages
>shocked i was alive
>ayowut.png
>said he heard i was doing PMC work and got killed in afghanistan during the US pullout
>never joined a PMC
>never went to afghanistan
>doesnt believe me and thinks im just covering some shit up
>wont tell me his source
what the actual fuck is wrong with people
I had something similar happen to me, he's probably skitzo via drugs
wouldnt shock me if he was on DMT or something, kept prodding me for stories and shit, thought he wanted to like hang out or grab a beer or some shit, nope just wants to progress unfounded stupidity
checked, yeah I don't want to dox but in my case I think their history of drug abuse caught up and they went skitzo paranoid everyone a super spook yadada yada
I'm doing great, thanks for asking.
got laid off a few months ago, but my living arrangements are such it wasn't a big deal, and honestly I knew it was coming for months anyway. new job is crazy adventure where I travel all over north America with my wife, which is an absolute blast. I see cool shit almost every day and my coworkers and bosses are really pretty cool.
what job
Good to hear you're even better than with the old job. Curious what the new job is, vanlife continues to be appealing to me despite all the real-world shittiness carefully avoided by social media types.
I wouldn't leave my current job, it's the best I've found and pretty good, but it's truer every year that passes that the grass is always greener and I would trade some money for more time to touch grass.
Almost nothing left tethering me to this world. I’m going to laugh as it burns
I know that feel. I always wanted to serve but for some reason the military is pickier than a high school beauty queen (I don't even know if this idiom makes sense). I guess the military are fed up with quitters draining their budget. I find fulfillment in learning new trade stuff and working on motorcycles and cars instead
country ?
> depressed a ex-wife is trying to get full custody of my son.
>have to go to Zambia for three week for work, I hate Zambia and I hate my job.
>boss is a micro managing fuck bag.
>trying to start a small commercial farming business but the legal cost because of my ex-wife is fucking my cash flow.
Long and short get married gents.
wtf work are you doing in Zambia and why aren't you trying to start a real estate based business in that country and why aren't you hiding all of your assets there from the whore
my eyes are blind from all the onion sauce I drink so thankfully I can't see your LIES
Onion
Retard, söy filters to onions plural. Onions.
fine, you get the point there peanutbutter
I work in Hydrometallurgy. Zambia sucks and most of the real estate is being grabbed by the Chinese via corrupt government officials.
She can't touch my assets anymore , but she got have of what I owned during the divorce. Now she is going after my son just because she is a cunt. Only good thing is she could not get my guns because it is hassle to get a license for firearms in South Africa.
Oh my fucking God, just go to some MMA gym and have a fight if you want to make sure you're not a pussy. Look at how actual war is, it doesn't prove shit if you get blown up in the first enemy salvo or manage to RATATATA at the enemy first. If you want to have your "operator moment" to feel happy, tough shit cause you most likely never will.
Sometimes I'm thinking to get some moron mad at me so I could kill him and claim self-defense to see if I could kill a human, but I guess that'd be very suHispanicious if it I get lucky and it happens not just once or twice.
It turns out you were the moron all along
>Sometimes I'm thinking to get some moron mad at me so I could kill him and claim self-defense to see if I could kill a human, but I guess that'd be very suHispanicious if it I get lucky and it happens not just once or twice.
same, often often hope someone assaults me when I'm out to beat the shit out of him and prove myself I'm not a cucked pussy (I am)
My mom, just now
>HONEY WE NEED GUNS FOR PROTECTION THATS WHY I BOUGHT THIS .22
>THE TRAUMATIZED OLD SHERRIF AT THE STORE SAID.22's bounce around, zig zag, inside the body
Hm, yeah I mean sometimes rounds will ricochet off bones, but uh wounding usually-
>*she notices the PSA AR-10 I'm looking at for hogging*
>oh honey no I don't want no automatic rifles in this house; you don't need that
"but it's for killing hogs for a bounty, it's an AR-10 and isn't automatic"
>oh. well okay. But you don't need that. Hogs will kill you! They're bigger than your dog!
That's why it's a .308 *indicates projectile size with two spaced fingertips*
>oh. well why? You don't need to be spending money on guns right now
>well the county will pay me for killing hogs
>oh
yeah
Feeling a bit eh, had surgery yesterday due to having anal fistula(lmaoing at that name)
At least it won't interfere with my range time so I guess all is good. Sucks having to take sick leave however.
>bought my own place in mid 20s because crypto
>still a single virgin
>relocated for work, not emotionally invested in my job
>too emotionally detached from life to get invested in fiction/other hobbies even though I can recognise they're genuinely good
>unable to drop shit like one piece that I picked up in high school despite burning out of it long ago, still read threads every day out of sheer force of habit
>limited social network where I am now
>debilitating chronic pain means I'm usually tired
>can't stick to an exercise plan which would genuinely really help in a number of ways
>tried meds for a month or two but all they did was fuck up my skin
>constant anxiety/insecurity/overthinking
How can I stop being such a fuckup? I can recognise I'm objectively financially better off than 99% of people my age but I'm incapable of actually winding down from being in high gear all the time
try living "The Routine". It'll take a ton of self discipline, and the results wont be immediate, but if you stick with it, you will feel a difference. it has made a huge difference for me.
Get fit. Youll spend like two years obsessing about your clothes and spending money when being fit makes you look good in a white hanes t shirt. Stick to your routine. Stop being a pussy. You've never endured or overcome struggle in your life so you are a pussy non negotiable, you have no life experience you've never done anything cool or hard, you have no camraderie, you need to go out and do things. This will give your brotherhood and alone will get you far and fix many issues. You then have to just put yourself out there you will never make friends or meet a woman if you are a terminally online shut in. Develope some hobbies become interesting. You cant fake any of this stuff and money cant buy it this is why you are depressed. You havent done shit and have no identity. Im not saying join the zagarmy and make it your identity im saying do hard shit and develop your own stories and friendships so when you introduce yourself to someone you actually have something to say. Thing that trumps almost all is be fit. You can have a beer belly as long as you have good arms shoulders and some chesticles.
Pretty good, finnally got into the bricklayers union and have health insurance so thats cool.
>muh identity
Stop worrying about gay shit and just keep doing things.
>Pretty good, finnally got into the bricklayers union and have health insurance so thats cool.
Why is there no bricklaying robot anon. Serious question. Like a hydraulic arm with a camera on because it could have perfect level
Because buildings aren't always built to perfect exact measurements and there are different types of bricks/stone that aren't perfectly shaped. Also a robot can't tell if mortar is the right consistency to form a bond, that's just off the top of my head.
I genuinely question why I come to PrepHole these days, just feels like force of habit and the rest of the internet is either on par or somehow worse with how insincere it is. Life is grey, I’m pretty sure I have stomach cancer, I have no future, just days to exhaust before what few things I enjoy occur.
>I genuinely question why I come to PrepHole these days, just feels like force of habit and the rest of the internet is either on par or somehow worse with how insincere it is. Life is grey, I’m pretty sure I have stomach cancer, I have no future, just days to exhaust before what few things I enjoy occur.
I don’t need inspiration I need a new stomach
>I don’t need inspiration I need a new stomach
So is this a bot or what?
>How's everyone doing PrepHole?
alright I guess, may join my states Air Guard
Lift that shit, looks like your tires are gonna rub the fuck out of your wells.
ive been ok, mostly living the PrepHole life but ive been slacking and drinking too much this week.
femanon coworker really likes me, but I dont want to hurt her or ruin our friendship, but i also want to fuck her shortstack brains out. still cant find my SKS chest rig with 200rds in it, its gotta be around or at my families ranch, but it sucks i cant find it.
>femanon coworker really likes me, but I dont want to hurt her or ruin our friendship
Bitch-ass cope. You don't want to risk the fantasy and the pleasant feeling of being desired by finding out if you're reading the situation right or not, not "ruin the friendship", it's not like she's saved your life in 'Nam or something. Plus, if you knew anything about women, you'd know they forgive a man for pumping and dumping them much more easily than for turning out to be a beta.
no it's more complicated than that, we've already had sex, but im still messed up from my ex, and she doesnt want us to just have a casual sex relationship or for her to be my "rebound" and I can respect that.
she really has been a great friend to me, and it would hurt her if I just used her for sex.
I am demoralized because Prigozhin is 200
>live in NYC
>job went permanently work from home
>moved to upstate New York to a nice property with 9 acres of woodlands
>move in
>go for a walk on my property
>eyes watering, nose stuffed and running, sneezing, coughing
>go to doctor
>they run tests
>I'm basically allergic to all plants and trees
FUCK
>I'm basically allergic to all plants and trees
damn were you born in NYC and not exposed to the woods as a child?
Pretty much, although I've been to central park so it's not like I was never exposed
>>live in NYC
>>I'm basically allergic to all plants and trees.
What ya doin' rabbi? We'll it's not taking a walk in the park is it?
lmfao
I had sex last night, so I'm pretty hyped today.
>be me
>at sea town for work
>absolutely packed with beautiful girls
>go out for dinner after work and then go around for a walk
>want to talk to some girl I liked
>there was a waiter at a bar u town a beer at tang was especially cute
>feel uneasy
>never talk to them
>come back to hotel
repeat that for each day of my life since the day I started being interested in girls
btw the absurd thing is that even if I'm drunk my shyness is still there very sharply, in general I'm still very mentally functional when drunk even if physical stuff is impaired like perception and movement, like one time I went into a coma for drinking too much, and yet even at that point my internal monologue was working well and the feeling of uneasiness/fear to talk to girls was still there anyway even if I was absolutely destroyed with alcohol
Fucking shitass job keeps ordering delicious food when I’m trying to diet.
I woke up angry about my ex. Recently settled some court stuff with her and I was doing ok but something in my dreams reminded me of a bunch of things.
I need to let everything about her go and move on but its easier said then done.
I don't like my job and it's barely paying above minimum wage.
Despite that I feel better than ever. I started working out, eating healthy and taking some supplements and I feel amazing. I'm so glad to be given the gift of life and it's difficult to get me down. It's like the opposite of feeling depressed.
Still I have ways to go. I need to look for ways to get a better job, I feel like I've been neglecting my mental capabilities (reading books, programming, these things).
Oh and despite all the doom and gloom I'm extremely optimistic about the future.
I also have nice guns. We are gonna make it my friends. Pic related, it's me
I hope you have a good day, happy anon
I didn't get into the CAF and gave up on work .Now I am a NEET. Probably not an exemplar soldier with this lifestyle. Because I am left with my own thoughts I am a shut in as well. I feel like war is increasingly disgusting to me. I wanted to use a political or military career to focus that energy into something productive, but now I just think it is morbid. Not good for mental health
I’m alive, which is enough. That said, I got this new job thanks to my degree. I thought it was a miracle at first. I have zero experience and am helplessly retarded so getting this job was like an unironic dream come true. But after the honeymoon period ended, I’m just growing kinda tired of it. The job itself is nice and there’s some people that are nice and friendly but the team I was shoved into is full of stuck up assholes who just refuse to teach me anything and are constantly giving me an attitude. It’s seriously fucking with me. Then there’s this new hire who also got put in this team and he’s already so much better than me at everything. He also gets along super well with the team while I always get sarcastic remarks and jokes at my expense, and that’s when they’re in a good mood. It’s a shame because there’s some other people at this facility that are super cool and I get along with them relatively well. Some of them even shoot guns and even go to the same range I go to and I’m trying to work my way towards asking them if I can go shooting with them. But for now I’m still stuck with this team full of people who I’m guessing I must’ve raped in a past life or something and now they’re metaphysically programmed to loathe me
tldr; I got a great job but the very first team I got put into happened to be the one with the least patience for retards like me
Anyway, thanks for posting this thread, OP. I want you guys to have somewhere to vent out. I worry about you guys sometimes. Stay safe, PrepHole
I have been having a rough time guys. It feels like its all going to fall apart for me. Honestly, I dont really have anyone to talk to so I will just tell you guys.
>long story short, had rough childhood without parents
>raised by a an elderly couple in their 80s
>both had died before I turned 16
>bounced around abusive households
>beaten and starved
>locked out in the winter just for fun
>slept in parking garage when I wasnt allowed back inside the house
>turned 18 and left
>worked at a small motel and was allowed to sleep there
>eventually met a girl my senior year in high school and decided to stop being miserable
>worked really hard to improve myself and my appearance
>eventually get my own apartment
>after a year, I ask her out
>she says yes
>our aspirations of a better life led me to continue working toward the dream
>she is extremely positive, and it contrasts with my negative attitude
>she encourages me and always supports me even though I struggle with depression and ptsd
>work my way up in various jobs and eventually get a really nice gig
>after years of struggle, I finally buy a house
>get pets, livestock, and start a garden on our rural property
>things have never been better
>literally living the life that we had always dreamed of
>find out she is sick
Cont.
Cont.
>ckd stage three
>it is a genetic problem that is caused by her immune system attacking her organ
>around our ten year anniversary, she caught a flu
>that lead to more kidney damage and failure
>now she is at stage 5 with some serious complications like bp of 175/130 and severe swelling
>she can barely stay awake and she is scatterbrained now
>I have taken up the slack around the house from her being sick
>starting dialysis soon and finally on a transplant list
>she is really sad that she cannot wear her ring that I gave her and that we cannot go do the PrepHole stuff that we loved doing
>her health declined so suddenly that I am worried that she may die at any time
I am feeling hopelessness and I cannot imagine things without her. I frequently find myself lost in thought and struggling to keep a positive attitude.
We are struggling for money because of all of the medical shit, me taking off work to take her to the doctor, and her not being able to work. We have been trying to get her onto disability and its a fucking struggle. Our lawyer say that its really hard to get someone "young" onto disability regardless of the health problems. The goddamn transplant offices dont answer the phone and wont respond to messages for weeks. The whole dialysis thing is scary for us because of the statistics online. What do I do if we lose everything? What do I do if she dies? I am entirely overwhelmed and burnt out. I feel as though i could explode. I cannot let her find out how close to breaking I am, she needs me to be strong. Fuck.
Im sorry to hear that anon, I wish I could offer something more than a kind word and a prayer.
Thanks. I just needed to rant a bit. Like I said, I dont really have anyone to talk to about my troubles.
We are trying to go through the disability system and we managed to get her onto state insurance for now. Our savings are gone and I am paycheck to paycheck for the time being. I am stressed about money because I dont have anything saved. Hell, I have had to sell a few of my firearms to cover groceries and mortgage last month. July was rough because I missed a shitload of work. Her family gave us a few weeks worth of groceries to try and help. I just cant help but imagining myself failing and losing everything again.
How old was she? Did she get a kidney from a dead donor? My wifes kidney is fucked up because of a genetic defect that causes her immune system to attack it everytime she gets sick because it thinks its a problem. How long has she been on dialysis? Our doctor said that its only viable for a few years and that each year it is more likely for serious complications. Her blood pressure being in hypertensive crisis has caused heart scarring to start and making things even more problematic.
She is really afraid of going to start it because she is worried. She is determined to get better and insists that she will be fine, but she is just afraid. I am trying to convince her that she will feel a lot better on dialysis and that we can go on walks/hikes together again.
Thank you for your input, I am really happy to hear from someone else that has an idea of what this is like. She keeps forgetting things and telling me stuff several times. She also gets lost in thought and doesnt notice me talking to her sometimes. A few months ago, I saw her in her craft room staring at her ring in the box and she just looked so sad. I got her similar but cheaper ring and cut and stretched it so that it works like ring from a quarter machine. She wears it now and smiles when she looks at it.
I'm sorry anon.
>https://www.benefits.gov/
This *may* be able to help you find resources youre unaware of, depending on what state youre in. Before you think it, or anyone else chimes in, there is absolutely zero shame in getting assistance when youre doing everything you can and life is just kicking you in the dick. Dont let your pride get in the way of potentially helping your s/o, and yourself.
>What do I do if we lose everything?
I know how incredibly easy it is for me, a complete stranger, to say this, but you start over, and build again. I dont meant that in a callous way, but you HAVE done it once before, you CAN do it again anon. I'll be thinking of you fren
Hey man, I don't know what to say, but I'm sorry. I wish the best for you and your wife.
Anon for what it's worth my girlfriend had a transplant years ago, the anti rejection drugs shut her kidneys down. She is in renal failure, on the transplant list, and does dialysis 3 times a week for 3-4 hrs each time. I'm not going to say she was back to normal after 1 treatment but it's pretty damn close. It takes a couple treatments for them to dial in her dry weight aka how much fluid they want to take off and the speed at which they do it. She may have bad cramps the first couple times if they go too fast. But dialysis really works, my girlfriend went from acting like she had dementia and swelling up like a balloon to being back to normal and able to work full time. Sure it's a big time commitment and a pain in the ass but she can survive on it indefinitely until the transplant and she's completely functional and able to do whatever she needs to. I'm not going to say don't worry, but if she starts dialysis I'd say be cautiously optimistic. You will have to plan any travel well in advance though to accommodate the need for dialysis.
Don't let her skip a treatment though. Human nature will kick in after a few months, she may be tempted to think "I feel fine and I don't need to go today". Don't let that happen, at least where I'm at they look at compliance as part of the metrics to determine transplants. So if two people qualify for a kidney it will go to the person who went to every treatment, not the one who skipped alot.
Good luck to you and her.
Here i am, here i remain.
I'm going to sound like a whining bitch or larper, but this is fucking with my head. My girlfriend convinced me to agree to get my oldest friend pregnant. We made a dumb pact just out of high school that we'd have kids together if we were single and childless in our 30's, which she joked about with my gf. The two of them had little fucking drinks dates and talked about it without me, and spun it as me doing her this big favour because donor sperm would be a crapshoot and IVF can be a long, life-disrupting process. I was willing to donate sperm for IVF, but I've always felt like a threesome is just a gateway to cucking. I only agreed because two of the women I care for most pleaded with me to do it, but I regretted it seconds into post-nut clarity. I'm only realising now that I'm looking back on our interaction that they basically groomed me for this over months, and it's very obvious my gf is way, way more into it than I am. They're already planning a morning of pregnancy testing and brunch with non-alcoholic champagne and charcuterie, and working out ovulation timeframes to try again if it's negative. I've been fucking used by people I thought had my back and it feels like shit.
At least you smashed
I wanted to get some MC Tropic gear and had a little bit of disposable income but work hasn’t paid me in a month and I don’t want to lose all my money for the LARP
Other than that I’m doing well and I’m convinced that working innawoods is the cure for depression.
>I've always struggled with my identity and who I really am do to feeling like I haven't proven myself in combat, largely due to having type 1 diabetes barring me from entering service.
I have T1D too and did not get conscripted.
Never wanted to fight in any kind of war though, not my cup of tea. Over time I realized how BASIC the skills and experiences in the non-wartime military are and how it doesn't really mean anything if you don't get to go so I never though much of it later on.
In fact, getting a condition like T1D when you're 14 and having to adapt to needle-based administration of medicine and strict rules is far worse than any amount of conscription time. This never ends, you know, and my candle slowly burns from the OTHER end too, seeing how T1D takes away about 10 years from life expectancy.
Anyway, the worst part was actually all the talk from other people about how boys become men in the military etc. There was no ill will but it was all the little remarks you get over time. The insulting feeling of putting that "ohh...you didn't serve" from others against all that I've experienced and had to think about and see how people don't know or care about how my care-free life ended at 14, while putting some getting-yelled-at-while-tired type experiences far above it.
It's been nearly 15 years since the last time I even heard anyone talk about the importance of conscription but the experiences from the age 14-20 stuck, this is absolutely the worst part. It changed me.I don't trust people, I rarely tell anyone any detail about my life.
I just can't get it out of my mind :/
>be me 1 year ago
>gay depressed university student with no friends about to flunk out
>father randomly tells me about a company looking to hire a guy in a conversation
>it's not your usual wagecuck job as its entry level and already pays in the top 15% of wages and it's a multinational so it's easier to change country, which want, and being a service technician I get to travel and not be in an office which is important to me
>apply to see how it goes
>6 months later
>am hired
idk guys I like having my money and the opportunity of a good career which is very difficult where I live even for university graduates, plus this job saved me from flunking out of uni and becoming a faggit bum wagecuck, but the thing is I dont care about what I'm doing, I'm here just for the money and to be able to sustain myself and become independent, but idk if I can do this for years and years, I'd actually dream of doing other stuff, that I actually am passionate about, but it's not really and option to do it.
so idk I'll keep going and save money but I'm not happy, especially since I don't have anything outside of work to make me go, like friends and social circles to stay with, I'm alone and have a shit family situation, so it's not like I say yeah I'm bored but when I come back home I'll go for a beer with my buddies and laugh and go out and talk with some girls, it's just come back home and play vidya or go running or sometimes I go innawoods hiking for 2days alone but idk my life is a bit flat and bleak, fault is also mine for lot changing things of.
anyway let's see if they even keep me working here since I had some problems for retarded ahit and my contact is 1 year, so in 6 months I'll see if they renew it or not, I think yes bc they need me so if no other shit happens they should, but you never know.
Do you think you could make that place you stay now a home? Find friendly people and enjoy what it has to offer?
> I'd actually dream of doing other stuff, that I actually am passionate about
Gain the experience, then make moves, you get both money and XP and it looks good in your CV. You can get similar jobs later on AND have a possibility to seek what you love, too.
Don't think you HAVE TO do it for years, you don't. Just 1-3 years, depending on what is valued in your line of work. Until then, every day is extra money, every day is a better CV to help you do what YOU love!
>Do you think you could make that place you stay now a home?
no, I dont really like the environment of this company, my boss is a gay I had tons of problem with in just 6months for useless things that aren't really problems, but since some other tags snitched them to him he got mad, like I was at fucking dinner and another technician that was with me said that Sweden is full of immigrants and I said yeah [my city]is full of arabs too, that's it, I didn't even get into the thick of it, no fuck morons or anything, yet this other guy that was there with us, a communist fag (he really is btw) later went to my boss and told him had said the above phrase, and the retard called me in his office some time later to scold me for it, absurd, and that's just one thing but it gives you an idea of the kind of shit that happens
or like when I had just started working here and hadn't done muh safety training yet (useless as training btw, just a legal obligation) I was in the workshop and a technician came to do some work and show us how its made to train us, and there were 2 safety fags from the office to surveil us, well I helped this guy move a box, and the safety guys went to my boss and told him, without telling me ofc, and he called me in his office and punished me by canceling a trip I had planned
My struggle is waiting on the sbr/suppressor stamps from the ATF so I can show up at the range without some fartknocker fudd narcing me out.
If you didn't dream of being a hero as a child there was something wrong with you. But life is different for everyone, so you can either hold on to the impossible and suffer or search for other worthy ways to spend your life.
Depression is starting to get to me. It gets a little harder to keep the thoughts at bay every day. If it wasn't for my wife I think I'd have wandered off into the woods never to return a long time ago.
I am the most successful I've ever been in life, I'm the most successful man in my family (first one to hit 6 figures), I have two great kids, on good terms with my ex wife so parenting isn't a problem, have a nice girlfriend and I feel like it's all completely worthless. I have no justification for this, my life isn't "hard", I'm in decent health, good at my job. I struggle to find any meaning in anything I do, I want to make friends but I lack the talent and drive to do so. I'm surrounded by people and I'm lonely, and I don't think I can do another 40 years of this shit. Years ago when my life was pure chaos post Army I was "happier" or at the very least too busy to feel depressed. I don't know what to do, it feels like I worked hard and fulfilled the American dream and I just don't care. Feels hollow and empty. I'm currently looking for things to give my life some meaning and feel like I had an impact somewhere, volunteering at animal shelters and I'm going to get involved in local politics.
Tldr I'm a whiny old fag who's got the sads
Damn we pretty much posted the same thing. If it wasn't for my kids I'd probably have done something dumb years ago.
I think my depression is due to the realization not much I do matters, I feel transient and replaceable so I'm looking for things I can do that will help others and help me feel like I matter. I'm starting to do volunteer work and I felt pretty happy while I was doing it so I might be on the right track.
I think most men feel fulfilled when they are working for a cause, a job isn't enough. Find something that matters to you enough that you'd do the work without getting paid aka volunteer, give it a shot.
>graduated college in May
>lukewarm job search
>shitty jobs, shitty pay
>good, respectable jobs want nothing to do with me
>find out degrees are worthless and I'm still doomed to work at McWagie's
>wasted time on vidya, had very little experience with my chosen fields
>gf broke up with me
>dog died
>Dad told my mom and I to take guns and leave a few days ago
>said someone was threatening our lives
>something smells fishy on the way to bug out location
>and it's not just my cat pissing and shitting in my car
>look it up, it's a scam
>dad fell for it, paid $400
>mom probably going to divorce him for this and related reasons
>probably will lose my childhood home that I was hoping to inherit
>car has like 4 broken parts plus a cat piss smell plus bad tires
>as all this is going on, I've become angrier in general
>dislike my friend group except for one or two, the rest just sit around and gossip while they vape and do drugs
>old friend group evaporated after high school, made no long-term friends in college
>there must be more to life
I think that about sums up what a terrible summer I've had.
On the plus side, or perhaps a ticking time bomb to cap the summer off, is that I've actually made progress towards an organization I first mentioned here, I believe in another morale thread: a fraternal organization of sorts that is focused on the self-improvement and mutual benefit of every member. However, I have precious little experience in running such an ambitious project, though I do have experience. I really just feel doubt. Here I am, without any respectable job, without a respectable degree, trying to teach other people who may be much older than me how to improve their lives. This is a promising prospect and I have completed arguably the hardest step already: finding a place to host it. Now, I am forced to act for better or for worse. I have no choice but to make this the best I can make it.
>trying to teach other people who may be much older than me how to improve their lives
Brother, you literally have nothing to teach. Your life is a literal failure in both personal and professional aspects. Anyone who listens to you trying to tell them how to fix their life is insane, it's like listening to a man actively on fire trying to tell you about fire safety.
If you approach this with the attitude of "I will teach these poor souls how to live" you are delusional at best and exploitative at worst for conning people into believing you can do something you can't.
However, if you go into this with the mindset of it's a gathering of like minded people who are all fucked up and will support each other while they unfuck their lives, then teach other people how to do it in a few years that's fine and in fact admirable. A good way to make friends too since you'll be toiling with peers.
>Brother,
>Your life is a literal failure in both personal and professional aspects.
two-faced rat rhetoric and not even remotely warranted, given what he told you. he's a new uni graduate finding his footing, with family woes and girl problems. trying to demoralise him for that makes you either deeply brown or out of touch.
>However, if you go into this with the mindset of it's a gathering of like minded people who are all fucked up and will support each other while they unfuck their lives
learn what "mutual aid" means before trying to teach anon why he can't teach anons anything useful
Christ what a cunt
My bro, that anon implies that he made mistakes, so by "teach" he simply means "I fucked up, this is how I fucked up, so don't do this and here's why." Which is arguably the best form of wisdom you can find.
Ugly bastard here.
I've never so much as held hands with a girl. The only romantic experience of any kind I had was the time a girl got dared to kiss me when I was 14 and she acted like she'd been forced to kiss a toilet bowl afterwards. It would've been better if it never happened. I've had girls tell me I was the ugliest guy they had ever seen before or that I looked like a serial killer or that they couldn't even imagine me in a relationship with someone.
I've tried to ignore it but it's actually pretty painful. There are dudes with half their face burned off or with felonies or who are obese who have someone, so what does it say about me if I get these reactions from people? Am I really that hideous? Is it my personality? Is something so wrong with me that others pick up on it as soon as we meet?
I think I'm almost definitely going to become a wizard. I hope I get some cool powers.
try to count up from 0 to the current global human population, each night before you go to sleep, resuming where you left off the previous night. stop only on the condition that you have interacted with a human female, 18–35 years old, non-blood-related nor a family friend, beyond that which is strictly necessary for a transaction / her job. set a reminder for 2 weeks (14 days) from the time you did this, and if you haven't socially engaged another woman when the reminder fires, resume counting up to the total human population. rinse and repeat.
you can drive yourself completely mad with constant reminders that it's hard to be a superlative in anything, even in being an ugly bastard, or you can escape your mental prison.
https://worldometers.info/world-population
Having a girl kiss you is more than I've got.
I've had an autistic dream of starting my own PMC for a few years now, but it probably won't go anywhere.
get an active hobby
surfing, hiking, whatever
proving yourself in combat is a shitty concept
there's always going to be someone calling you a fraud no matter how dangerous the situation you were in
in contrast, no one's going to say you didn't hike x mount or whatever
I'm feelin' pretty good right now.
breddy gud , going to go on a trip with the gf in a few days. and planning a trip to japan to go meet her family in December.
working on moving over there since her visa is going to expire soon.
life is good , just wigging out about trying to move to another country I am kinda indifferent about.
>get into college
>have no idea what I want
>no one around me cares enough to help me, especially the on campus people who’s job it is literally to help you figure it out
>eventually get degree, it’s not terrible but no idea what to do with it
>stumble into job as veterinary tech
>pay is shit
>everyone is either an asshole or dead inside
>never get trained so I just have to pick shit up as I go
>unfortunately get pegged as the reliable trustworthy guy in this kind of environment after a few years
>which means everyone dumps shit on me constantly
>get switched to overnight because of this
>actually ok team
>treated like dog shit by management though
>no future I can see
>vet med is apparently dead end due to it all being bought up by faceless companies in the last decade or so and some how all being trim into the ground.
>Health issues getting worse
>chance of cancer always looming due to previous bout as kid
>no support system from friends or family who just see me as a tool
>just my cat
Feelin fine
much love anon. you deserve it.
>wake up
>brew coffee
>open telegram
>watch the latest video of ziggers getting killed
>chuckle
Thats been my daily morning routine for the last couple years. Life is good
Ovan van shit the bed, went to finance a used car, dealership want to fuck me with 12% apr when I have 770 credit. Need a car for work. Life is terrible.
>12% apr when I have 770 credit
Credit will always be the stupidest concept to me
Anon its retarded. Ive got a 780 and they were offering me 11% at the best. When i was 18 with no credit and a terrible job my rate was only 9%
I'm not four months fresh from fighting and want so desperately to go back despite knowing I must build a solid civilian foundation because wars end and the body withers and decays. That has not stopped me from wishing for the gruesome and violent death of those around me by my own hand as I attempt to reintegrate. My options are to grow old and bitter, go back and throw my opportunities away now and forever for perhaps another year or two of something that well and truly makes me happy only to return to ruin, or to take my own life in as dignified manner as possible. It's going exceedingly well.
All of my problems are because I am not drinking enough water. Nothing else.
>have job
>have car
>still live with folks
>recently turned 27
>3 year anniversary with gf
>she getting baby fever cause of sister
>just want to own a home but still can't afford it
>frens making more than me
>fat but going to gym
I'm just glad my gf has the patience to put up with my autism though there are times i wish i was single. I know it's not a race but i feel i still haven't gotten shit together and it's getting worse since I'm almost approaching 30
Get her a ring. Work overtime. Maybe time for a job switch. Dont go on a job hunt but be constantly looking for what's out there and throw your hat in the ring. Just sing up for an email service that sends you open positions and throw your hat in the ring every once in a while. Get out yo comfort zone
I'm feeling pretty old lately, kids are adults, job is on autopilot, I just go through the daily routine with no drive anymore, I need a new fuckin hobby I guess
>
had to quit my job because it was fucking up my shoulders real bad, been a month and I can't find work and I'm running out of dosh. was supposed to have an interview with a deck restoration company this morning but they didn't call and I felt the last bit of hope get sucked out of me. really been wanting to get into some kind of trade or trade adjacent job so I can hopefully make more than $20 an hour some day. I'm almost 30 and I'll probably kill myself if I end up working another retail job